No two brains are the same. Our therapists are here to help you recognize and celebrate your neurological differences so you can better understand yourself and/or your partner. YOUR BRAIN < Back OUR BEAUTIFUL BRAINS UNHELPFUL NARRATIVES Many couples arrive in neurodiverse couples therapy with one or both of the following stories: Neurotypical Partner: "They don't' care about me" or "He just can't give me what I need." Autistic Partner : "I'm a failure." or "My partner is overly emotional." We are here to tell you that you are both mistaken. If you don't understand the problem you are trying to solve, it is virtually impossible to solve it. First, the root problem is that your brains are wired differently. Second, you are reaching conclusions based on your experiences of your partner's behaviors, not is what is happening inside. Third, once you begin… Show More

Neurodiverse Communication Counseling: With the help of a trained therapist, couples can learn to recognize their patterns, practice new strategies in a safe space, and strengthen understanding. Therapy that focuses on client strengths is especially helpful for neurodiverse communication as it helps partners identify and build on what they already do well, rather than focusing only on deficits.

Frequently Asked Questions Tip: Want more resources? 📄 See our Quick Fact Sheet for a short, skimmable overview of our services. 📖 Read our in-depth Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Article for a full overview of challenges, therapy approaches, and more. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS 1. What is neurodiverse couples counseling? Answer: Neurodiverse couples counseling is therapy designed for relationships where one or both partners are autistic, ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergent. It focuses on improving communication, building emotional safety, and helping partners understand each other’s unique ways of thinking and feeling. Unlike traditional counseling, this approach uses strategies that account for neurological differences so couples feel understood and supported. 2. Can autistic or ADHD partners feel empathy and love? Answer: Yes. Autistic and ADHD partners are fully capable of empathy and love. They may simply express or process emotions differently. This difference is sometimes misunderstood as “lacking empathy,” but in reality, it’s about a mismatch in communication styles. Therapy helps both partners recognize and share empathy in ways that strengthen connection. 3. What is the Double Empathy Problem? Answer: The Double Empathy Problem describes how both autistic and neurotypical partners can struggle to understand each other’s perspectives. It’s not a “deficit” in one person—it’s a two-way misunderstanding caused by different communication and emotional styles. Counseling helps bridge this gap so both partners feel heard and valued. 4. What challenges bring neurodiverse couples to therapy? Answer: Common reasons include recurring conflicts about “tone” or chores, emotional distance, sensory overload, mismatched needs for intimacy, parenting struggles, or feeling like you’re speaking “different languages.” These challenges don’t mean your relationship is broken—they mean you may need tools built specifically for neurodiverse partnerships. 5. How does therapy for neurodiverse couples work? Answer: We focus on eliminating unhelpful patterns, creating emotional safety, and building a roadmap toward closeness. Sessions may involve the couple together, plus individual support for each partner. Our therapists teach practical strategies to improve communication, manage conflict, and reconnect —without blame, pressure, or trying to “fix” one person. 6. What makes your approach different from traditional couples therapy? Answer: Traditional therapy often overlooks neurodiversity, sometimes even suggesting autistic partners can’t feel empathy or love. We reject that myth. Our team customizes every counseling plan to the unique needs of each couple—we don’t believe in one-size-fits-all therapy. While many traditional approaches overlook neurodiversity, we design our methods specifically for autistic and ADHD partners and their loved ones. Three things set us apart: Ongoing Specialized Training – Every therapist receives weekly training on neurodiversity-focused content, ensuring our approaches stay current and effective. Collaborative Case Support – We hold weekly case consultations and supervision so that no couple’s challenges are handled in isolation—your therapist has a full team behind them. Continuous Professional Growth – All team members pursue ongoing continuing education in neurodiverse relationships, keeping us at the forefront of best practices. In addition, we use a strengths-based, solution-focused model that emphasizes safety, communication, and mutual understanding. With your permission, we may integrate a couples therapist plus individual therapists for each partner, coordinating care so both partners feel fully supported. 7. What if one partner isn’t sure about being autistic or ADHD? Answer: That’s okay. A formal diagnosis isn’t required to start. Many couples come to us simply because they notice “different wiring” is affecting communication and connection. Therapy works whether or not a diagnosis is in place—and if desired, we can help California residents explore assessments for autism or ADHD. 8. Will this type of counseling actually help our relationship? Answer: Yes. Research shows that solution-focused therapy helps couples shift away from blame and toward problem-solving and emotional connection (McDowell et al., 2023). Many neurodiverse couples who work with us report more trust, less conflict, and a stronger bond over time. Change is usually gradual, but very possible. 9. How long does it take to see progress? Answer: Many couples feel relief within the first few sessions once they understand their patterns and learn new strategies. Meaningful progress takes time, but with consistency, couples often notice more empathy, teamwork, and closeness after just a few months. 10. Who do you work with? Answer: We support neurodiverse couples nationwide through online therapy or coaching. 11. Do you take insurance? Answer: No, we are a private-pay practice. For California therapy clients, we can provide superbills for possible out-of-network reimbursement. Please note that coaching services (all clients outside California) are not covered by insurance. 12. What if we’re in crisis? Answer: While we are here to help, we are not a crisis service. If you are in immediate danger, please call 911. For urgent mental health support, dial or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. LEARN MORE 📖 Read our in-depth Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Article for a full overview of challenges, therapy approaches, and more. 📄 See our Quick Fact Sheet for a short, skimmable overview of services. Last reviewed: Aug 22, 2025 • Author: Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT (Clinical Director) GETTING STARTED We would love to create a safe place for you to break the painful patterns of the past and communicate in a new way. Please fill out our contact form and we will be glad to connect you with one of our team members. Mitchell, P., Sheppard, E., & Cassidy, S. (2021). Autism and the double empathy problem: Implications for development and mental health. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 39(1), 1–18. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjdp.12350 Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Want to test your communication skills? Look at the questions below and ask: "Do I say more of the ❌'s or ✅'s?" There’s no shame either way—just insight. Allistic to Autistic ❌ "Why aren't you listening to me?" ✅ "Did I catch you at a bad time to talk, or is something making this hard to take in?" ❌ "Can't you just be more flexible?" ✅ "What parts of our routine help you feel steady, and where could we build in some wiggle room together?" ❌ "Why don’t you care how I feel?" ✅ "I know you care in your own way—can you help me see how you usually show it?" Autistic to Allistic ❌ "Why are you always so emotional?" ✅ "Your feelings matter to me, even if I don’t always get it—can you walk me through what’s going on for you?" ❌ "Do we have to talk about this AGAIN?" ✅ "I know this is important to you. Can we find a rhythm for these talks that works better for both of us?" ❌ "Why can't you just say exactly what you mean?" ✅ "Sometimes I need things to be really direct. Can we figure out a way to meet in the middle?" So, how’d that quiz go? If you ended up with more ❌s than ✅s, don’t stress. You’re in good company—most couples do! These habits are super common and totally normal. The good news? They’re also things you can work on. Just noticing them is already a big step in the right direction. 🌟 Try This Week: Pick just one ✅ or "better way" question and ask your partner this weekend. Watch how even a small shift makes things better! And, yes, I know this might feel impossibly hard. That’s exactly why neurodiverse couples therapy exists. One of our neuro-informed therapists can help you both learn how to ask questions and connect in new ways that can transform your relationship. You've got this, Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Take the First Step 🔦 Spotlight on Liz McClanahan Specialties · Neurodiverse Couples Therapy · Autism & ADHD · Parenting Autistic Children · Intimacy, Sex, Affair Recovery · Anger Management · Life Transitions Professional Qualifications · Neurodiverse Couples Specialist · Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Azusa Pacific University (APU) · Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist Personal Experience · My husband is on the Autism Spectrum and received his diagnosis later in life. I am so proud of my 26-year marriage and the fact that we were able to reconcile after a divorce and remarry. · My two children are also on the Spectrum. They have taught me how differences can be intensely beautiful and frustrating at the same time. Learn more about Liz! Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Discover how AuDHD traits show up in daily life. A simple visual tool to help partners reframe challenges, appreciate strengths, and connect more deeply. AuDHD Trait Wheel Exercise Get Free Template Instructions If you're filling out a wheel for yourself... Look at each wedge and read both descriptions of the autistic trait. Notice that the first describes the challenging side of the trait while the other highlights it's benefits. Color the left half of the wedge red if the challenging side resonates with you and color the right half green if the positive side does. Fill in as much or as little of each half as feels accurate—more rings for stronger traits, less for milder ones. Look at which traits feel challenging and the ones the reveal strengths. Notice how seeing both sides helps reframe the trait in a more balanced way. Share it with your partner or therapist if you want—it can open up clearer, easier conversations about your needs and strengths. If you're filling out a wheel for your partner... Look at each wedge and read the two descriptions of the trait—one showing the challenging side and the other highlighting the positive side. Color the left half red if the challenging side shows up in your partner, and color the right half green if they display the positive side. Fill in more or less of each half depending on how strongly each side of the trait shows up in them—more rings for stronger traits, fewer for milder ones. Notice which traits seem the most challenging and which clearly show strengths. Seeing both sides together can help you reframe the trait and understand your partner in a more balanced, compassionate way. Share the finished wheel together—use it to start a conversation, build appreciation, and strengthen your connection. Example AuDHD Trait Wheel

🧩 The Struggle to Connect: What's Really Going On? I’m guessing that many of you have struggled to connect with your partner? Probably for years… But have you ever wondered what’s really behind this difficulty? Is it a lack of social motivation on the part of the autistic partner? Or is the effort required to connect simply too overwhelming? 💭 Social Motivation: A Key Factor? Researchers have proposed the “ Social Motivation Theory of Autism ”, which suggests that autistic individuals may have a diminished intrinsic drive to seek out social interactions. Unlike neurotypical individuals who naturally find social connections rewarding, those on the autism spectrum may not experience the same level of social motivation. This reduced motivation can lead to fewer social interactions, which in turn contributes to underdeveloped skills in forming and maintaining relationships. The social motivation deficit comes first, leading to less ability to connect. However, it’s crucial to understand the difference between motivation and desire. Desire is the longing or wish for something , an emotional or cognitive state where a person wants a certain outcome. Motivation is the drive or push that turns that desire into action . It’s the internal or external force that compels someone to take steps toward fulfilling that desire. For autistic individuals, the desire for connection might still be present—they may deeply want to form relationships and feel connected to others. However, the motivation to pursue these connections might be lower because the brain doesn’t register social rewards as strongly as it does in neurotypical individuals. This doesn’t mean there’s a lack of desire, but rather that the drive to act on that desire is less compelling due to how these social interactions are processed in the brain. Key Insight : The struggle to connect may stem from an inherent difference in how social rewards are perceived, rather than a lack of desire to connect. 🛠️ The Effort Barrier: A New Perspective While social motivation might be lower for some autistic individuals, another significant factor is the sheer effort required to navigate social interactions. For many on the spectrum, the effort can feel like climbing a mountain. Contrary to the research we just discussed, a different study found that autistic adults can be just as motivated, if not more so, to engage in social interactions as their neurotypical counterparts. However, the effort required—decoding social cues, managing sensory sensitivities, and following unspoken social rules—can be overwhelming. This high level of effort can lead to withdrawal, not because the desire to connect isn’t there, but because the process is exhausting. Revised Understanding : The challenge in connecting may not just be about motivation but also about the significant effort required to maintain social interactions. For autistic individuals, this effort can be a critical barrier, even when the motivation to connect is strong. 🔄 Misinterpretations & Conflict: The Vicious Cycle Neurodiverse couples often misinterpret each other. Instead of understanding that their differences stem from how their brains work, they assume their partner’s behavior is intentional, leading them to take things personally. When these misunderstandings accumulate, they can lead to conflict, which further diminishes the motivation for social interaction and makes the effort barrier seem even more insurmountable. 🛋️ What to do? Here’s a suggestion to try at home: 1 - Find a time to have an open conversation with your partner about this topic. 2 - Ask each other whether you feel your connection struggles are more about motivation or effort. 3 - At this point, don't solve any problems. Take turns listening and only talk about how you understand yourself, not your partner. Try not to talk for your partner! If this feels too overwhelming to tackle on your own, please reach out to us. We’re here to help you clear away the misunderstandings that keep you stuck and explore how motivation and effort issues impact your relationship. Warm regards, Harry Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Do You Think You May be on the Autism Spectrum? Take the RITVO Autism Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back At a Glance: My Journey & Focus Who I Help: Neurodiverse Couples – Supporting relationships where one or both partners are autistic or neurodivergent, improving communication, connection, and emotional regulation Couples of All Backgrounds – Helping partners navigate differences, deepen intimacy, and resolve recurring conflicts in a way that fosters understanding and growth Parents of Neurodivergent Children – Providing guidance and support for parents raising autistic and ADHD children, with an emphasis on communication, advocacy, and self-compassion Neurodivergent Individuals – Assisting autistic and ADHD clients in self-exploration, emotional regulation, and navigating relationships and societal expectations Multicultural & Immigrant Families – Supporting mixed-culture relationships and families through acculturation challenges, language barriers, and cultural identity exploration LGBTQIA+, Polyamorous, & Kink-Affirming Clients – Offering an inclusive, judgment-free space for identity, relationship structure, and self-discovery Core Beliefs & Approach: Love Looks Different for Everyone – Relationships don’t need to fit a traditional mold; they need to work for you The Problem Is Not You, The Problem Is the Problem – Externalizing struggles to foster teamwork in couples therapy Depathologizing Neurodivergence – Your brain isn’t broken, and therapy shouldn’t try to "fix" you—it should help you thrive Communication Is a Skill, Not an Expectation – Every couple and family can build a communication system that fits their needs Honoring Identity & Intersectionality – Your culture, neurotype, sexuality, and lived experience all shape how you connect and grow in relationships Embracing the Complexity of Relationships Relationships are messy, beautiful, challenging, and deeply personal . When couples struggle, it’s rarely because they lack love—it’s because they lack understanding of each other’s unique ways of thinking, feeling, and processing the world . This is especially true for neurodiverse couples , where communication differences, sensory needs, and emotional regulation challenges can lead to misinterpretations, frustration, and disconnection . My work is centered on helping couples build a relationship that works for them— not one that fits neurotypical or societal expectations. Common Challenges in Neurodiverse Relationships: Communication Differences – One partner may prefer direct, factual conversations , while the other thrives on emotionally expressive dialogue Processing & Emotional Regulation – Conflicts escalate when one partner needs time to process, while the other needs immediate reassurance Executive Functioning Mismatches – Different organizational styles can lead to frustration around household management and responsibilities Social & Sensory Needs – One partner may need more alone time , while the other craves constant connection Misinterpretation of Love & Affection – Some express love through acts of service , while others need verbal affirmation Rather than focusing on who is "right" or "wrong" , we work on understanding and adapting to each other’s neurotypes , creating new ways of connecting that feel authentic and fulfilling . My Personal Journey: From Disconnection to Understanding I didn’t just learn about neurodiverse relationships in textbooks—I’ve lived it. When I first met my partner, I was fascinated by their brilliant mind, unique perspective, and deep emotional world . But as our relationship grew, so did the challenges. What I saw as emotional distance, they experienced as sensory overload. What I needed as verbal reassurance, they struggled to express in words. For years, we misunderstood each other’s reactions, mistaking neurological differences for personal failings . Conflict left us both feeling isolated and unseen —until we began learning how to communicate in a way that worked for our relationship, not just for one of us. Through therapy, we discovered: Love doesn’t always sound like "I love you"— sometimes, it looks like small, quiet gestures of care Space isn’t rejection—sometimes, it’s self-regulation Verbal processing isn’t better than non-verbal processing—it’s just different This experience reshaped my approach to couples therapy . I know firsthand how hard it can be to bridge these gaps—but I also know it’s absolutely possible with the right tools and support. Let’s Build a Relationship That Works for You Therapy should be a place where you feel understood, not judged . Whether you’re working through relationship struggles, parenting challenges, or personal growth, I’m here to support you in creating a life and relationships that truly reflect who you are . Neuro-affirming Practice In my view, a truly neurodiversity-affirming practice begins with being neuro-informed. By grounding our work in a deep understanding of neurodiversity, we can accompany you on your journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance with an informed and compassionate presence—one that validates the full spectrum of your traits and identities. The focus is not on counting deficits or pathologizing differences, but rather on cultivating curiosity to understand what is present and meaningful for each individual. From that perspective, my therapy and coaching work is about sharing knowledge about how others with similar neurotypes have developed supportive strategies, as well as integrating insights from emerging research and leading voices in the neurodiversity-affirming therapeutic community. Ultimately, with this approach you are neither alone nor broken, but part of a broader and valued spectrum of human experience. Specialties: Neurodiverse & Neurotypical Couples Counseling ADHD & Autism Relationship Coaching Emotional Regulation & Executive Functioning Support Complex Parenting Challenges Multicultural & Intercultural Relationships LGBTQIA+, Poly & Kink-Affirming Therapy Identity & Self-Exploration Therapy Modalities: Gottman Method (Levels 1 & 2) Narrative Therapy Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Internal Family Systems (IFS) Attachment-Based Therapy Education Touro University Worldwide – Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy University of Vermont – M.A. English Literature (2008) University of Cincinnati – B.A. English Literature (2002) License: Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #151193 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: ASD/Allistic Couples, LGBTQIA+, ADHD, Autism, Emotional Regulation, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), AuDHD, Attachment, IFS, EFT, Communication, Sex/Physical Intimacy, Emotional Intimacy, Not Accepting New Clients Lea Choi Take an Autism Test

Our experienced therapists are dedicated to supporting seniors who are on the autism spectrum and are here to provide you with guidance and affirming support. SENIORS & AUTISM < Back UNDERSTANDING AUTISM IN SENIORS We specialize in providing compassionate therapy services for individuals with neurodiverse conditions, including autism. Our experienced therapists are dedicated to supporting seniors who are on the autism spectrum, acknowledging the unique challenges they may face. In this section, we will explore the symptoms of autism in seniors, how it can impact their relationships, and how psychotherapy can be a valuable resource.

Behind the Mask in Neurodiverse Relationships 🎭 Do you wear a mask? Let's be honest, these days we all wear masks. We put on a certain face for the world as we feel the tension of fitting in. For people on the autism spectrum, this tension gets cranked up to the max. Picture this: You're at a party – the music's pumping, laughter fills the air. Mary, who is neurotypical, moves with ease, her personality shining through. 💃 Meanwhile, John, who is autistic, navigates this social maze with a rehearsed grace, each smile and nod meticulously planned to camouflage his true self. 🥸 This effort, a profound act of 'masking', isn't just for tonight but is a constant presence, draining John's energy and straining the couple's connection. If left unchecked, this dynamic could threaten the very foundation of their relationship. What does it mean to mask oneself? 🤔 For many with autism, masking is a survival strategy . The goal is not merely to blend in but to avoid the friction of social judgment. This adaptive behavior, while protective in the moment, demands a significant emotional toll, reshaping one's self-expression to meet external expectations, often at great personal cost. 😪 Understanding masking is more complicated than it may appear at first glance. There are different ways to mask: Compensation: This is where one adopts behaviors deemed acceptable , molding their actions to fit a normative social mold. Suppression: Here, natural behaviors are stifled , hidden away to present what is perceived as 'normal.' Assimilation: In this act, one performs scripts that align with societal expectations , often feeling alien to one's nature. Do you recognize these behaviors in yourself? Or in your partner? 💵 The Profound Costs of Masking Now consider the emotional and psychological toll: the constant energy required to maintain this facade can lead to anxiety, depression, and even physical symptoms due to chronic stress. 🤒 Over time, this sustained effort can erode an individual's self-esteem and sense of identity, impacting both personal well-being and the vitality of their relationships. Moreover, misunderstandings that arise from masking can create emotional distance, leaving one partner feeling neglected and the other overwhelmed, complicating their ability to connect and communicate effectively. 💔 What to do? 📊 Measuring Masking with the CAT-Q Taking the Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) is an essential first step for those aiming to explore the extent of autistic masking. CAT-Q Questionnaire Available at no charge on the Adult Autism Assessment website, this tool includes 25 questions and can be completed in 5 to 7 minutes. It assesses various dimensions of masking, breaking down masking strategies so you can gain a deeper understanding of these behaviors' emotional and relational impacts. 🗣️ Have the Right Masking Conversation Instead of focusing solely on the frustrations that arise from autistic masking, let's delve into what's truly happening beneath the surface. Moving away from blame, we can foster a supportive environment by openly discussing the underlying challenges of masking. 💬 Exploring insights from the CAT-Q results allows us to understand the pressures and strategies involved, helping to cultivate empathy and strengthen our connections in a more meaningful and supportive way. 🛠️ Tailoring Social Situations Adapting social settings to reduce the need for masking, whether by choosing less demanding activities or creating signals for needed breaks, can alleviate stress and enhance engagement. Get really specific. Be creative and experiment with new ways of approaching tough situations. This proactive approach allows both partners to feel more in control and less anxious about social interactions, leading to more enjoyable and meaningful experiences together. Couples who try this are amazed at the freedom and relief that they experience. 🏠 Creating a Supportive Home Environment How can we make our homes refuges where unmasking is not just safe but welcomed? By respecting personal space, allowing for stimming or other natural behaviors, and setting clear expectations, we build trust and reduce the daily stress for the autistic partner. A nurturing home environment acts as a foundation for growth and healing, where both partners can truly relax and be themselves, strengthening the bonds of love and understanding. Unveiling the Mask, Not Eliminating It 👫 The key to a healthy relationship in a neurodiverse partnership isn't about eradicating masking entirely. It's about fostering open communication and acknowledging the mask itself. Imagine the mask not as a barrier to intimacy, but as a layer waiting to be understood. Through honest conversations, you and your partner can explore the situations where masking feels necessary and discuss strategies for minimizing it. 🗣️ By discussing the results of tools like the CAT-Q , you can gain a deeper understanding of masking's impact and build empathy for each other's experiences. This awareness allows you to create a safe space at home where unmasking feels natural, fostering genuine connection and a stronger bond. Remember, masking can be a coping mechanism, but it shouldn't come at the expense of your true selves. Let's work together to unveil the masks, not eliminate them, and celebrate the beautiful authenticity beneath. Click Here To Match With An Expert All the best, Harry Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, PsyD Dr. Motro is a registered Marriage and Family Therapist #53452 and the Founder/Clinical Director of the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule With Whitney Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Are you curious about whether or not you have autism/ADHD? Want to learn more about yourself and take the first step towards deeper self-understanding? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take An ASD/ADHD Assessment Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Expert counseling for neurodiverse couples. Our strength based approach to Autism, ADHD, and AuDHD can transform your relationship. Relationship Peace for Neurodiverse Couples Couples therapy for autism, ADHD and AuDHD relationships. Stop the fight/shutdown loop. Rebuild with tools that fit both brains. Autism - ADHD - AuDHD specialists What kind of help are you looking for? Couples Therapy Individual Therapy Autism & ADHD Assessments World's Largest Neurodiverse Therapy Service. 100% Online. Take our Neurodiverse Relationship Check-up Get a free relationship report. Start Now How it works Tell Us about You Share a few quick details so we can understand your neurodiverse experience — whether you're navigating autism, ADHD, or both. Get Your Perfect Match We’ll pair you with a specialist experienced in autism , ADHD , or AuDHD — within 24 hours. Start Your Healing Journey! Schedule your FREE consultation and start building the understanding and connection your relationship deserves. 1 2 3 Get Started Now! Download our Trait Wheels to better understand yourself. Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel Meet our experts in autism , ADHD & neurodiversity. Why risk being misunderstood? Our team understands the challenges that the neurodiverse community faces when seeking help. Autism, ADHD or AuDHD...we dedicate our lives to supporting you. Meet The Team You’ve probably heard of autism. You’ve likely heard of ADHD. But what happens when someone experiences both at once? That’s AuDHD —and it’s more common than many people realize.. What is AuDHD? Learn More about AuDHD Neuro-Informed vs Traditional Therapy

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Communication sounds simple, right? Just talk and listen. But for many couples, that’s where things get completely stuck. When communication breaks down, it can feel like you're hitting a brick wall, leaving you frustrated and hopeless. Reflective listening can be incredibly helpful, making sure each partner feels heard and understood. But let’s face it, reflective listening is rarely enough, especially for neurodiverse couples. To break through your communication walls, you need to dig deeper and ask yourself some though-provoking questions. Here are four crucial questions to continually ask yourself: 1. 🤔 How have I been complicit in creating the communication patterns that I say I don’t want? There's a difference between being “complicit” and being “responsible”. Complicit means you're playing a part, even unintentionally, in creating the situations you claim to dislike. You might be doing things you say you don’t want, but in some way, these actions serve you. Do you know what this might be? Think about it. Are you trying to protect yourself in some way? Having a hidden agenda can create chaos in our communication, making it difficult to break free from negative cycles. 2. 🗣️ What am I not saying that needs to be said? 🗣️ Do you hold back important feelings and thoughts because you fear your partner's reaction? One way to reduce this fear is by using a " soft start "—actually asking permission to say something that may be hard to hear. Ask your partner to listen and promise not to respond for at least an hour. Sometimes, even when it feels safe talk, it may still be really hard to figure out what you want to say. This is especially true for our neurodiverse partners who may not be “tuned in” to themselves. Meanwhile, allistic partners may be so worried about keeping everyone else happy that you’ve lost track of your own needs. Taking the time to deeply reflect on what is truly important to you can change your world. It can help you feel like you matter. 3. 👂 What am I saying that’s not being heard? 👂 Ever feel like you’re talking, but your partner isn’t listening? First, focus on how you are saying what you're saying. Are you speaking calmly and clearly, or are your words dripping with frustration and hopelessness? Work on soothing yourself enough so you’re not in a triggered state of mind and body. Instead of pointing out what they’re doing wrong, try focusing on your own feelings and experiences. Expressing your internal thoughts can lower defenses and open your partner to really hear you. 4. 🧏 What’s being said that I’m not hearing? 🧏 Listening is a gift. It means setting aside your own agenda for a moment to truly enter the other person’s world. Take some time to reflect on everything your partner is trying to tell you. Is there a deeper message beneath all the words they are saying? Does a complaint about dishes in the sink really mean that your partner feels overwhelmed at the end of the day and needs someone to notice all the work that gets done? By staying curious about what is being said, even if you disagree, you show respect and validation for your partner’s feelings and thoughts, breathing new life into the relationship. 📝 Start the Deeper Work of Communication 📝 The deeper work of a couple's communication begins with you and a piece of paper (or keypad!) Here’s an exercise to get started: 1. Answer these four questions honestly: Take some time alone to reflect on each question. Write down your answers thoughtfully and thoroughly. 2. Share your answers with your partner: Set aside a quiet time to discuss your reflections. Make sure to carefully listen to each other. Say back what you are hearing but don’t respond. Save that for later. 3. Get expert help: Breaking through years of stuck communication is tough to do alone. To work through challenges, consider seeing one of our neuro-informed clinicians. They can provide expert guidance and support on this journey. For more transformative insights and neuro-informed support, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We're here to help you navigate and strengthen your relationship. Until next time, Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Do You Focus Intensely on Some Interests, but Not Others? Want to see if your behavior is consistent with monotropism? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take the Monotropism Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you improve your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back Education & Specialties: Neuro-Inclusive Nourishment Specialist Bachelor of Arts in Psychology, Aurora University Certified Life Coach, Universal Coach Institute Client Focus: Neurodiverse women Individuals with Autism, ADHD, Highly Sensitive Persons Neurodiverse clients with eating struggles Neurodiverse couples Coaching Modalities: Solution-focused strategies Action planning Mindfulness techniques Motivational interviewing Journaling Cognitive-behavioral techniques My Story Hello, I'm Cassie Clayton. Since 2016, I've dedicated my career to supporting individuals on their journeys to recovery from eating disorders and mental health challenges. My path began as a Recovery Coach, inspired by my own experiences navigating recovery. Recognizing the profound impact of connection and support from those with lived experience, I've committed to helping others share their stories and find healing. Supporting Neurodiverse Couples At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, I specialize in working individually with a partner experiencing eating issues that affect their relationship. Understanding the intricate dynamics of neurodiverse partnerships, I provide tailored support to address these challenges. With your consent, I collaborate closely with your neurodiverse couples counselor to ensure our efforts are aligned, promoting healthier eating habits and enhancing relationship satisfaction. Neuro-inclusive Nourishment I am deeply passionate about empowering individuals to feel seen, heard, and supported without judgment. My empathetic, non-judgmental approach fosters an environment where you can thrive, receiving the encouragement and guidance needed to move forward. I specialize in helping clients articulate their visions, set attainable goals, overcome obstacles, and collaboratively develop actionable plans. In addition to one-on-one support, I've facilitated outpatient and Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) therapeutic support groups, creating safe spaces for clients to connect, process emotions, and reduce eating disorder behaviors. I prioritize meeting clients where they are and assessing their unique needs, ensuring that each individual receives tailored support throughout their recovery journey. Personalized Care In a world often dominated by diet culture and unrealistic expectations, I advocate for a personalized approach to healing one’s relationship with food and body image. I celebrate the uniqueness of each individual, understanding that there is no 'one size fits all' solution in recovery. With extensive experience working with young adults and adults facing body image issues and disordered eating, I am dedicated to helping you navigate your path to wellness. Whether your struggles have been ongoing or more recent, you deserve compassionate support and understanding. I invite you to share your story with me. Together, we can explore meaningful steps toward your recovery—because even the smallest steps can lead to significant change. Specialty Areas: Eating & Autism, Communication, Autism, ADHD, Emotional Intimacy Cassie Clayton Take an Autism Test

Neurodiverse Communication Counseling: With the help of a trained therapist, couples can learn to recognize their patterns, practice new strategies in a safe space, and strengthen understanding. Therapy that focuses on client strengths is especially helpful for neurodiverse communication as it helps partners identify and build on what they already do well, rather than focusing only on deficits.