Neurodiverse Couples
Counseling Center

Addiction & Neurodiversity: A Different Path to Healing

Are you autistic or ADHD?

And struggling with substance addiction?

Does it feel like everyone trying to "help" is speaking a language you don’t understand?

You’ve probably sat in the rooms.

You’ve heard the lectures.

You’ve been told to "surrender your defects" or "just sit with the feeling."

But when you try to sit with the feeling, your skin crawls.

It is easy to look at a failed stint in rehab and think, "This system is broken, so why bother?"

It’s also easy to internalize the failure and think, "I'm just looking for excuses to bail."

The problem likely isn't your willingness, and it isn't necessarily that "recovery is broken." The problem is that you are trying to run a standard operating system on a computer that wasn't built for it.

You don’t get to opt out of recovery, but you do need to opt into a method that speaks your brain’s language.

If you are Autistic or ADHD, your path to sobriety needs to look different because your brain is different. We don’t just treat the addiction. We treat the sensory overload, the dopamine starvation, and the exhaustion of masking that drove you to the substance in the first place.

It is easy to feel like the "black sheep" when traditional rehab doesn’t work, but the data proves that neurodivergent people face a statistically higher risk of addiction—not because they are "bad," but because they are coping with a world not built for them.

• The ADHD Risk: Research shows that adults with ADHD are three times more likely to struggle with a substance use disorder than the general population.¹ The connection is so strong that nearly 25% of all adults seeking treatment for alcohol or substance abuse have undiagnosed ADHD.²[1] 

• The Autistic Connection: While some studies show autistic adults drink less frequently, they are significantly more vulnerable when they do. Autistic adults are nearly nine times more likely than their neurotypical peers to use recreational drugs specifically to manage unwanted mental health symptoms.³

• The "Why" Matters: For neurotypical people, addiction is often about seeking a "high." For neurodivergent people, it is almost always about seeking relief—from sensory pain, social anxiety, or a brain that won't turn off.⁴

Anecdotally, this feels low.  It feels like half the people in the rooms have ADHD.  But that's just the rooms I've been in.

Most rehabs and outpatient programs are designed for neurotypical brains. For the neurodivergent mind, these standard practices can inadvertently cause harm rather than healing:

• Group Therapy Overload: Being forced to make sustained eye contact and share deep trauma in a circle of strangers is often overwhelming. For many, this causes autistic shutdown or panic, rather than a therapeutic breakthrough.

• Abstract Concepts: Phrases like "turning it over" or "spiritual awakening" can be vague and frustrating for literal thinkers. Neurodivergent clients often need concrete, logical, and actionable tools—not metaphors.⁵

• Executive Dysfunction: Demanding a client "just show up on time" or "keep a daily journal" without support ignores the reality of executive function challenges. Without scaffolding for time blindness or task paralysis, these demands just create more shame.⁵

We look deeper at the function the behavior serves, rather than just the behavior itself.

1. The Sensory Shield (Autism)

For many Autistic people, alcohol or opioids function as a "chemical volume knob." They dampen the noise of fluorescent lights, scratchy clothes, and crowded rooms. You aren't seeking a party; you are seeking a moment of silence in a loud world.

2. The Dopamine Hunt (ADHD)

The ADHD brain is chemically starved for dopamine. Stimulants or high-risk behaviors (gambling, gaming) temporarily fix this deficit. It’s not a lack of discipline; it’s a desperate attempt to feel "normal" and focused for the first time.

3. The Masking Trap

Socializing is exhausting. Alcohol is often "liquid courage," suppressing social anxiety and making it easier to "mask" (mimic neurotypical social cues). The trap is believing you are only lovable when you are intoxicated.

We want to be clear: Neurodivergence is usually not the only reason for addiction.

Trauma, grief, family history, and environmental stressors are powerful drivers of substance abuse for everyone, regardless of their neurology. We do not ignore these factors. In fact, they are often deeply intertwined with the experience of growing up neurodivergent in a world that didn't understand you.

However, if we treat the trauma but ignore your biology, the foundation of recovery remains unstable. You can heal your past, but if your nervous system is still constantly overwhelmed or starved for dopamine, the urge to self-medicate will return.

Can I still go to 12-Step Programs (AA/NA)? 

Absolutely. We are not "anti-12-step." In fact, for many Autistic and ADHD individuals, the community and structure of programs like AA can be lifesaving—if the right accommodations are in place.

Recovery works best when you have two parallel tracks:

1.     Community Support: Utilizing groups like AA/NA for fellowship, but finding a format that works for you. This might mean "sharing" through writing, finding smaller neuro-affirming groups, or realizing that you don't have to perform your trauma verbally to be "working the steps."

2.     Brain-Based Treatment: Working with a specialist to manage the physiological drivers of addiction—sensory regulation, executive function support, and dopamine management—so that you aren't fighting your own biology to stay sober.

We believe in adaptation, not deprivation. We don't just take the coping mechanism away; we build a life that is sustainable without it.

• Sensory-Safe Spaces: We welcome stimming and offer low-stimulation on-line environments.

• Concrete & Logical: We use Internal Family Systems (IFS) and CBT, mapping out your brain logically rather than relying on abstract spiritual concepts.

• Executive Scaffolding: We help you build sobriety systems that account for time blindness and task paralysis—using visual anchors and routine building, not just "willpower."

Recovery looks different when your therapist has walked the path.

Malori Evans, AMFT & APCC

AuDHD & Substance Use Specialist Malori is a powerhouse of insight. Identifying as AuDHD (Autistic + ADHD) and a queer woman in recovery from addiction, she knows the journey from the inside out.

Malori formerly worked as a physician, giving her a deep biological understanding of how substances impact the body and brain. She specializes in helping clients who use substances to cope with sensory overwhelm and burnout. Her "Relationship Anarchy" and anti-hierarchical approach creates a safe space where you are the expert on your own experience.

Jory Wilson, AMFT

Neurodiverse Couples & Sex Addiction Specialist Jory brings a powerful, lived perspective to his work. As a therapist with ADHD who is in a neurodiverse marriage himself, Jory understands the unique shame spiral that comes with "feeling different."

He specializes in Sex Addiction and Betrayal Recovery, helping couples navigate the wreckage of compulsive behaviors. Jory uses a compassionate, non-judgmental approach to help partners understand that "acting out" is often a maladaptive attempt to regulate an overwhelmed nervous system. He integrates spirituality and science to help you rebuild trust.

Shea Davis, AMFT

Trauma & Addiction Recovery Specialist Shea’s wisdom comes from the trenches. Years ago, she walked into a 12-step meeting broken by addiction, emotional depletion, and a lifetime of "pushing through."

She knows firsthand that for neurodivergent people, addiction is often a survival strategy to manage a world that feels too loud and too demanding. Shea doesn't just teach recovery; she lives it. She helps clients move past the shame of their past and build a recovery that honors their unique wiring, teaching you how to self-soothe without the substance.

References

1. Bunford, N., Evans, S. W., & Wymbs, F. (2015). ADHD and substance use disorders: Developmental aspects and the impact of stimulant treatment. The American Journal on Addictions, 24(7), 569–577. Link to Article

   
   

2. Kessler, R. C., Adler, L., Barkley, R., et al. (2006). The prevalence and correlates of adult ADHD in the United States: Results from the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. American Journal of Psychiatry, 163(4), 716–723. Link to Article

   
   

3. Sizoo, B., van den Brink, W., Koeter, M., van der Gaag, R. J., & van der Feltz-Cornelis, C. M. (2010). Treatment seeking adults with autism or ADHD and co-morbid substance use disorder: Prevalence, risk factors and functional disability. Drug and Alcohol Dependence, 107(1), 44–50. Link to Article

   
   

4. Weir, E., Allison, C., & Baron-Cohen, S. (2021). The association between autistic traits and substance use: A systematic review. The Lancet Psychiatry, 8(8), 673–683. Link to Article

   
   

5. Wilens, T. E., & Morrison, N. R. (2011). The intersection of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and substance abuse. Current Opinion in Psychiatry, 24(4), 280–285. Link to Article