Free Self-Discovery Tools for Neurodiverse Couples and Individuals

Thirty-one free, confidential tools — four activities designed for couples to do together, and twenty-seven individual screeners covering autism, ADHD, co-occurring traits and general self-understanding. Each takes a few minutes.

Tools for couples

These four are the ones you will not find anywhere else, and they are the reason most couples come to this page. Individual screeners tell one person something about themselves. These are built for two people to do together and then talk about.

Neurodiverse Couples Check-Up

A structured check-in for neurodiverse couples to see where you both currently stand. Useful when you know something is off but cannot name it, and useful again months later to see what has actually moved. Try the check-up, or read more about it first.

Autism Trait Wheel Activity

A visual activity that maps autistic traits across the different domains of life — sensory, social, communication, routine, and the rest. Couples fill it in and compare, which frequently produces the first conversation where both people are describing the same thing rather than arguing about it. Try the autism trait wheel, or read more about it.

ADHD Trait Wheel Activity

The same visual approach applied to ADHD traits — attention, initiation, time, emotional regulation, working memory. Particularly useful where one partner has been carrying the household's executive function without either of you realising that is what has been happening. Try the ADHD trait wheel, or read more about it.

AuDHD Trait Wheel Activity

Maps autistic and ADHD traits together, which is a genuinely different picture from either on its own. Where the two profiles pull in opposite directions — needing routine and needing novelty at the same time — seeing it laid out visually tends to explain a great deal that neither partner could previously articulate. Try the AuDHD trait wheel, or read more about it.

Where to start if you are a couple

Begin with the Neurodiverse Couples Check-Up, then pick whichever trait wheel matches the profile you think is in play. Do them separately and compare afterwards — the gap between two people's answers is almost always more useful than either set of answers alone.

If neither of you has ever been formally identified, the individual screeners below are a reasonable place to start before the couples work.

Autism screeners

Ritvo Autism and Asperger Diagnostic Scale (RAADS-14)

14 questions. A quick, broad autism screening and a widely used starting point. Take the Ritvo Autism and Asperger Diagnostic Scale screener.

Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ-50)

50 questions. A comprehensive measure of autistic traits across five domains. Take the Autism Spectrum Quotient screener.

Modified Girls Questionnaire for Autism (GQ-ASC)

21 questions. Designed for women, capturing how autism presents in female experience rather than in the male-derived descriptions most checklists are built on. Take the Modified Girls Questionnaire for Autism screener.

Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q)

25 questions. Measures how much you mask or camouflage autistic traits. Often the single most revealing screener for an adult who has been adapting for decades. Take the Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire screener.

Adult Repetitive Behaviours Questionnaire (RBQ-2A)

20 questions. Assesses repetitive behaviours and routines in adults. Take the Adult Repetitive Behaviours Questionnaire screener.

Extreme Demand Avoidance Questionnaire (EDA-QA)

26 questions. Screens for pathological demand avoidance traits. Take the Extreme Demand Avoidance Questionnaire screener.

The Monotropism Questionnaire

47 questions. Measures the tendency towards deep, focused attention on one thing at a time. Take the The Monotropism Questionnaire screener.

Online Alexithymia Questionnaire (OAQ-G2)

37 questions. Measures difficulty identifying and describing your own emotions — frequently the quiet centre of a communication problem in a neurodiverse relationship. Take the Online Alexithymia Questionnaire screener.

Toronto Alexithymia Scale (TAS-20)

20 questions. The classic alexithymia measure of emotional awareness difficulty. Take the Toronto Alexithymia Scale screener.

Autistic Burnout Trait Inventory (ABTI-24)

24 questions. Measures your vulnerability to autistic burnout. (See the note on unvalidated tools below.) Take the Autistic Burnout Trait Inventory screener.

Autistic Burnout State Inventory (ABSI-24)

24 questions. Measures whether you are in burnout right now, rather than how prone to it you are. (See the note on unvalidated tools below.) Take the Autistic Burnout State Inventory screener.

Autistic Burnout Construct (ABO)

8 questions. A brief burnout screener — just eight questions. Take the Autistic Burnout Construct screener.

Autistic Sexual Intimacy Measure (ASIM-24)

24 questions. Looks at how autism shapes experiences of sexual intimacy. (See the note on unvalidated tools below.) Take the Autistic Sexual Intimacy Measure screener.

ADHD screeners

Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRS v1.1)

18 questions. Developed by the World Health Organization, and the standard starting point for adult ADHD screening. Take the Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale screener.

Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST)

35 questions. A more in-depth ADHD self-assessment with broader coverage. Take the Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test screener.

Barratt Impulsiveness Scale (BIS-11)

30 questions. Measures impulsivity across motor, attentional and planning dimensions. Take the Barratt Impulsiveness Scale screener.

Copeland Symptom List for Adult ADD

63 questions. Assesses eight domains of traits associated with ADHD. Take the Copeland Symptom List for Adult ADD screener.

ADHD Masking Measure (AAMM)

28 questions. Measures how much energy goes into masking or camouflaging ADHD traits. Take the ADHD Masking Measure screener.

ADHD Sexual Intimacy Measure (ADHD-SIM-24)

24 questions. Looks at how ADHD shapes experiences of sexual intimacy. (See the note on unvalidated tools below.) Take the ADHD Sexual Intimacy Measure screener.

Common co-occurring traits

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Assessment (RSD-24)

24 questions. Sensitivity to perceived rejection or criticism — one of the most common sources of conflict escalation in a neurodiverse relationship. (See the note on unvalidated tools below.) Take the Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Assessment screener.

Dyslexia Questionnaire for Adults

23 questions. Screens for dyslexia traits in adults. Take the Dyslexia Questionnaire for Adults screener.

Highly Sensitive Person Inventory (HSPI-24)

24 questions. Measures high sensitivity, sometimes called sensory processing sensitivity. (See the note on unvalidated tools below.) Take the Highly Sensitive Person Inventory screener.

Obsessive Compulsive Inventory, Revised (OCI-R)

18 questions. A brief OCD screening across six symptom dimensions. Take the Obsessive Compulsive Inventory, Revised screener.

Sensory Profile Screener

24 questions. Sensory processing patterns and sensitivities — useful for couples where one person's comfortable environment is the other's daily ordeal. (See the note on unvalidated tools below.) Take the Sensory Profile Screener screener.

General screeners

Clinical Perfectionism Questionnaire (CPQ)

14 questions. A brief perfectionism measure with a clinical focus. Take the Clinical Perfectionism Questionnaire screener.

Frost Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale (FMPS)

35 questions. A comprehensive look at perfectionism across six dimensions. Take the Frost Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale screener.

Clinical Anger Scale (CAS)

21 questions. Measures anger intensity and patterns of expression. Take the Clinical Anger Scale screener.

What a screening test is, and what it is not

A screening test is a brief, free self-assessment that gives you a starting point for understanding your traits. It is not a diagnostic tool. Only a qualified clinician can make a diagnosis.

A low or absent indication means your responses do not suggest a strong presence of the traits measured. An elevated indication means they suggest traits worth exploring, and a conversation about whether formal assessment makes sense is a reasonable next step.

About the tools marked with a note

Several tools above are marked as unvalidated. Those are designed to offer helpful insights and support self-reflection, and many people find them useful for identifying patterns and starting meaningful conversations — with a partner, a therapist or a coach.

They are still in development and have not been validated through formal scientific research. The questions are based on commonly reported experiences, but their reliability and accuracy have not been formally established. They are not intended to diagnose anything or to replace professional evaluation.

Working with us

We offer neurodiverse couples counselling throughout California, with online sessions available worldwide. If you want to talk your results through with someone who works with neurodiverse couples every day, get in touch and we will arrange a free consultation.

You can also find a therapist, speak to our Client Care Coordinator, or read our frequently asked questions. Questions about fees, insurance and scheduling are answered on the general practice FAQ.