Meet our Team of Neurodiverse Couples Counselors for help with Autism & ADHD and your Relationship Meet Our Team All Team Members are Neurodiverse Couples Specialists. To find their ADDITIONAL specialty areas, select one of the buttons below. Therapist Finder All Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Accepting New Individual Clients Only Not Accepting New Clients ACT ADHD ASD/Allistic Couples Addiction Assessment Attachment AuDHD Autism Betrayal Recovery Betrayal/Affair Recovery Blended Families Brainspotting Buddist - Spiritual CBT Cancer & Autism Cassandra Syndrome Support Christian Communication Couples Retreats/Intensives DBT Discernment Divorce EFT Eating & Autism Emotion Focused Therapy Emotional Intimacy Emotional Regulation Emotionally Focused Therapy Family Conflict General Couples Coaching Highly Sensitive People (HSP) IFS Integrative Spiritual Therapy Internal Family Systems Intimate Partner Violence Kink/Poly-Affirmed LGBTQIA+ Life Transitions Multicultural Challenges Muslim background ND at Work Neurodiverse Couples Ongoing Relationship Trauma PDA Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse) Sex/Physical Intimacy Somatic Therapies Teens Transformational Coaching Trauma Trauma Bonds Trauma-Informed Kimberly Hawks Jamison Haase Jenny Pan Heather Emerson-Young Daniel Chung Jory Wilson Stephen Robertson Leila Pirnia Lisa Marie Anzaldua Danielle Grossman Alyssa Bayus Rachel Wheeler Maring Higa Cassie Clayton Nancy Rushing Colleen Kahn Harry Motro Blaze Lazarony Amanda Buckman Jen Terrell Shea Davis Lea Choi Malori Evans Tamala Takahashi Adela Stone Liz McClanahan Joseph Kaiser Robin Greenblat More about the TEAM... We're a group of dedicated therapists and coaches who have come together to: treat the neurodiverse community with respect, develop a robust set of tools to help neurodiverse couples, approach neurodiverse healing from a strength-based approach , understand that the trauma of past misunderstanding needs to be healed in a gentle way, share best-practices for neurodiverse therapy amongst the team so we can offer you a beneficial experience, and offer integrated therapy where both the couple and each partner can each have their own counselor ; yet, the therapy is synchronized to achieve compatible goals. Please complete the contact form to be matched with a neurodiverse therapist or coach.

Check out our Quick Guides if you're looking for key facts, research-backed insights, and easy-to-follow explanations for neurodiverse couples navigating autism, ADHD, communication, intimacy, and more. Quick Guides Quick Guide - HSP for Couples Stop mistaking sensitivity for withdrawal or overreaction—learn how the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) trait shapes your relationship's unique wiring. Discover expert strategies to soothe emotional flooding and turn deep feeling into a safer, deeply attuned connection. Read More Quick Guide - Discernment Counseling for Neurodiverse Couples Feeling stuck between staying and leaving? Discernment counseling gives neurodiverse couples a focused space to pause conflict, understand what’s really happening beneath the surface, and make a confident, informed decision about the future. Read More Quick Guide - ADHD Couples Therapy If ADHD is causing misunderstandings, frustration, or uneven responsibilities, you’re not alone. Learn how a neuro-informed approach helps couples understand each other’s wiring—and create practical, compassionate change together. Read More Quick Guide - Neurodiverse Sex Therapy Intimacy challenges in neurodiverse relationships are common—and deeply fixable. This guide explains how specialized sex therapy supports couples in navigating desire differences, sensory needs, and emotional disconnect with compassion and clarity. Read More Quick Guide - Communication in Neurodiverse Relationships If conversations keep spiraling, shutting down, or getting lost in translation, you’re not alone. Learn how neuro-informed communication tools help partners understand each other’s wiring—and finally feel heard. Read More Quick Guide - Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Find out how neurodiverse couples counseling helps partners move through communication breakdowns, emotional mismatches, and burnout, and why working with neuro-informed experts can finally make the relationship feel understandable again. Read More

We understand that many people struggle to identify, express, and understand emotions. This condition is known as alexithymia and our therapists are prepared to meet you where we are and guide you towards your goals. ALEXITHYMIA < Back ALEXITHYMIA Do you struggle to recognize and express emotions? Do you feel a bit confused whenever a friend asks "How are you?" Are you uncomfortable around others who are processing their emotions? Do you prefer to "live in your head?" If you answer is "I think so" to most of these you, are probably in the right place. WHAT IS ALEXITHYMIA? Alexithymia is a condition characterized by challenges in identifying, understanding, and expressing emotions. Individuals with alexithymia may find it difficult to recognize their own feelings or the feelings of others. This can lead to challenges in forming and maintaining relationships, as well as navigating various social situations. Our counseling… Show More

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Adela Stone Not accepting new clients See our other clinicians or Fill our our contact form to get matched Adela is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who graduated with an MA in Clinical Counseling. She also has a Master’s degree in Journalism which she received in Europe where she is from. She speaks three languages and understands the need to tailor therapy based on cultural backgrounds. Her experience as an immigrant helps Adela to empathize with her client’s life challenges, and her early parental and spousal losses enable her to connect with others in mourning. It has also boosted her resilience and given her a worldview atypical for her age. She has gone through a big marital challenge herself during her current second marriage and has undergone couples therapy. She is now a part of a blended family which enables her to understand some of the tricky dynamics of step parenting. NEURODIVERSE COUPLES: The most common complaint of a neurotypical person in partnership with a neurodiverse person is the partner's rigidity. Often, the individuals in this type of relationship suffered attachment injuries. Making Sense of Differences I can help you shed light on some of your partner's behaviors and make sense of the hurt, misunderstanding and resentment you may feel. It is normal to go through grieving: for the past of your relationship that wasn't neurotypical as well as for the future of your union that will be always be a bit different. Your brains aren't wired the same way. Neuroscience research show us that People with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) may appear stuck or have shutdowns or meltdowns because they are often in a state of overwhelm in which someone with Asperger's is scared, frustrated, or angry, as well as withdrawn. This state is often referred to as Defense Mode. Defense Mode I can help you understand the Defense Mode that a neurodivergent person often employs so that you can help yourself or your partner from shutting down so often. Perhaps you know what the signs of Defense Mode are by now. The neurodivergent partner isn't trying to be mean. In fact, they are doing the best they can with the emotional resources they have, AND they can do better: for the sake of both of you as human beings worthy of love and acceptance, and for the sake of the future of your relationship. There are ways to help yourself or your loved one come out of Defense Mode. The two fundamental ones center around decompression time and trust building which is comprised of four necessary pillars that we can work on putting together. Your partner isn't being willful. Their definition of an issue you are dealing with just isn't the same as yours. Listening to Understand Talking in order to connect is a basic human need but we need to have a common shared understanding first. The message about what this shared understanding actually is can get blurred or corrupted. If you have a common language you can define shared values and shared expectations. Remember that forcing a conversation will lead nowhere. We can work on how to ensure an important conversation does take place though. I'm sure you know listening is important but are you actually using efficient and respectful listening with your partner? If you are, both of you will experience less frustration. Listen to understand, not to form a defensive retort in your mind as they speak. Understand what it is like to be them. I get that it isn't fair to you, the neurotypical partner, it feels as though you are doing all the work. I agree, it isn't fair but you are in a partnership and are here so I assume you do want to try. I am in the business of hope and positivity and would like to offer you some. I have seen neurodiverse marriages succeed. Other areas of focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): Healthy Grieving as a Couple Couples going through life transitions Co-parenting Kink-aware couples therapy Couples with mismatched sexual desires LGBTQIA+ ally Differences in sexual taste and style Guidance through nonmonogamy/polyamory Blended families/step families Languages: Fluent in Czech, French and English Clients: Couples, Families, Young Adults Modalities: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness-based Therapy, Gestalt, Positive Psychology, Existential Therapy, Art Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy. License: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT #143787, APCC #9260 Specialty Areas: Sex/Physical Intimacy, Kink/Poly-Affirmed, Neurodiverse Couples, Cassandra Syndrome Support, DBT, Intimate Partner Violence, Blended Families, Emotional Intimacy, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Not Accepting New Clients Adela Stone Take an Autism Test

As a therapist deeply immersed in the intricate dynamics of neurodiverse relationships, I've often found myself in the middle of the age-old debate: What holds more value, facts or feelings? 🤔 Picture this: one partner, with a furrowed brow, insists, "The facts clearly show I'm right! You are completely overreacting! You shouldn't feel that way." 😠 While the other, with a sigh of frustration, counters, " But you're missing how all this makes me feel, which is just as important." 😞 This isn't just an argument; it's a vivid illustration of two fundamentally different ways of experiencing the world, each with its own language, trying desperately to be heard and understood. 🗣️ The Deep Roots of Emotions 🌱 A deeper dive into the nature of feelings reveals that they are often rooted in past experiences rather than the present moment. This is particularly true for individuals who have endured trauma. For them, current events can act as triggers, invoking disproportionate emotional responses that seem incongruent with the actual situation. It's akin to a geological fault line; when the present bumps against this line, it causes tremors that reverberate through our being, manifesting as intense emotions. Understanding an Outsized Reaction 😲😡😥😖 This understanding of emotions sheds light on why we might react strongly to certain situations that, to our partner, might seem minor. It's NOT the present circumstance that's solely responsible for our feelings; instead, it's our past experiences casting long shadows over our current perceptions. This shift from present to past can lead us to erroneously believe that, if only our partner would change, our emotional turmoil would subside. However, the key to mitigating these disproportionate reactions lies in having compassion for the underlying trauma, thereby recalibrating our emotional responses to better match the realities of the present. The Autistic Mistake: Dismissing Emotions ❌🧠 Unfortunately, autistic partners often make the mistake of arguing facts over feelings. The wiser path is acknowledging the reality and significance of feelings, while setting facts aside for the moment. Emotions are indicators, messengers that convey important insights about our inner world and our relationships. The Allistic Mistake: Equating Emotions to Truth ❌🔮 On the other hand, the mistake that an allistic partner makes is to elevate these feelings to the status of incontrovertible truths , allowing them to unjustifiably indict others or dictate our actions. This misstep can lead us down a path of misunderstanding and conflict, both with ourselves and others. Take a Pause: From Primal to Thoughtful Response ⏸️💡 One of the most effective strategies for navigating emotional triggers is the practice of pausing before reacting. This pause, a moment of intentional breath and reflection, allows us to move from a primal, reactive state to one of thoughtful response. It signals to our body that we are safe, enabling us to engage the more rational parts of our brain. Learning to pause and respond rather than react can result in a monumental shift for a couple. Feelings are Essential, Not Truth 💖 Feeling our feelings is essential. Resisting or denying them as an individual or a couple only amplifies their intensity and can lead to greater internal turmoil. Feelings are transient energies, constantly in flux. By allowing them to flow through us, they lose their power to overwhelm. Yet, remembering this truth can be challenging in moments of acute emotional distress. Ultimately, honoring our feelings while also recognizing that they are not infallible truths is a delicate balance to achieve. Feelings provide valuable insights into our emotional landscape, but they must be interpreted with caution and context, particularly when they stem from past traumas. Neurodiverse Couples Counseling 🤝 For neurodiverse couples grappling with facts and feelings, the support of a neurodiverse couples specialist can be an invaluable step towards healing and equilibrium. In doing so, we learn not only to honor our feelings but also to ensure they serve us in constructive ways, guiding us toward healthier, more informed choices in our lives. Click Here To Match With An Expert With heartfelt guidance and support, Harry Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, PsyD Dr. Motro is a registered Marriage and Family Therapist #53452 and the Founder/Clinical Director of the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule With Whitney Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Are you curious about whether or not you have autism/ADHD? Want to learn more about yourself and take the first step towards deeper self-understanding? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take An ASD/ADHD Screener Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Autistic Women WOMAN ON THE SPECTRUM? WE SEE YOU. If you are an adult woman who thinks you may be on the spectrum, we are so glad you are here. You have probably been overlooked and under-supported for years and maybe even decades. You may be struggling in your relationship but not know how to fix it. Sadly, feelings of being defective, lonely, confused and helpless may be all too common. Please don't despair. There is hope! On this web page, we will try to cover the basics of women on the spectrum but we invite you to connect with one of our neurodiversity specialists who would be honored to help you. Wondering if you have Autistic traits? Curious about how autism may shape your experiences as a woman? Take our Autism Screener for Adult Women to explore traits, gain insights, and access resources tailored to your unique strengths and challenges. The button below will take you to our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment . There, you'll be able to take our Free Online Autism Screener for Adult Women and gain further insight. Adult Autism Screener OVERLOOKED IN CHILDHOOD As the field of neuroscience continues to develop, there is an ever-increasing consensus among researchers that autistic women are dramatically undercounted. Well-intentioned, parents, teachers, and counselors often miss the opportunity to identify women on the spectrum. There are two major reasons for this unfortunate situation: REASON 1: GIRLS MASKING IN CHILDHOOD Even though girls may share many core traits of autism with boys, they often react externally to it in dramatically different ways. One difference in how boys and girls react is the degree to which they mask their autistic traits. Masking is when a person puts on a “mask” to look the way others expect rather than show up in the world in a way that is natural and genuine. You can think of masking as camouflage. In other words, wearing something on the surface so you will not be noticed, yet fearing that you will be discovered. As compared to boys, girls are more capable of “masking” their social deficits. One theory that explains this superior female masking capability is that girls on the spectrum have innate “social mimicry skills” which enable the girls to more easily "fake it". Unfortunately, the mimicry usually operates at a superficial level, causing the girls to still miss the deeper emotional understanding. Also, social masking is harder for girls to pull off than boys since neurotypical girls often have more nuanced social and emotional dynamics than boys. Furthermore, girls are often more motivated to mask than boys . There usually is less parental and peer pressure for boys than girls to make social connections, so the boys put less effort into it. The expectation for social connection can be intense for girls so they may put all their energy into “fitting in”, even though doing so may feel completely unnatural and leave the girls exhausted. In summary, girls on the spectrum may look different than boys in the following ways: Higher levels of pretend play. More mimicking of role models (without understanding the real social meaning). Suppressing natural tendencies (such as special interests) to fit in. Acting quiet or shy at school (to fit in) but melting down at home (due to the emotional stress of masking during the day). Special interests for girls may be focused on imaginary animals (unicorns), real animals, crafts, environment, appearance and celebrities as opposed to computers, video games and transportation for boys (although these commonly crossover). Suffer from emotional bullying as opposed to boys who experience physical bullying (again, these cross over). Girls are more likely to internalize anxiety leading to depression while boys tend to behave more aggressively or have meltdowns. For a more exhaustive list, see Tania Marshall’s blog. This masking behavior can come at great cost, creating a constant worry of “Am doing it right?” and “Will I be discovered to be a fraud?”; thus, leaving many autistic girls feeling highly anxious and emotionally exhausted. REASON 2: MALE-CENTERED CLINICAL RESEARCH & FOCUS There is a second reason that girls/women are overlooked for ASD diagnosis. Since the early days of recognition of what was called Asperger’s (now ASD), the research was largely conducted by male researchers on male patients. The fundamental assumption was that autism was primarily a condition that belonged to males. Accordingly, the criteria for diagnosing autism and the methodologies for assessment became biased to identify male clients. This framework leaves many women outside of or on the borderline of the parameters for a clear ASD diagnosis so they end up without a diagnosis and little hope for a healing path forward. Even worse, they may be misdiagnosed as having ADHD, Major Depressive Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. As expected, a misdiagnosis may lead to suboptimal treatment and extreme frustration and disappointment. DIFFERENCES & STRUGGLES Of course, young girls grow into women and the unequal treatment continues into adulthood along with the emotional struggles. Here are a few examples of how adult men and women present differently in adulthood: Adult autistic females are more comfortable than their male counterparts when interacting on a one-on-one basis. The women may often report that they have a few friends but would typically meet with them individually, not in a group. Men on the spectrum often report no friends. Adult autistic females are more likely to find a romantic partner , often putting a lot of effort (masking) in order to overcome loneliness. Men on the spectrum typically have more difficulty navigating the rules of romance, although this may be offset by lower expectations of romance from men. Adult autistic females are more likely to have the primary responsibility for parenting than autistic males. In spite of the pleasures of being a parent, children have never-ending emotional needs which can be confusing and overwhelming to a woman on the spectrum. STRUGGLES Given the forces that lead autistic girls and adult women to be overlooked and under-supported, many females believe that something is fundamentally wrong with them, thus feeling sad, lonely, and defective. These difficult emotions may lead to serious mental health conditions in women. In fact, studies show that women have more struggles than males on the spectrum including higher levels of anorexia, social anxiety, and self-harm. Still, men suffer as well, having a higher incidence of hyperactivity, conduct disorders, and stereotyped (repetitive) behaviors than autistic women. It is worth noting that these more typical male conditions are more visible and thus may contribute to the males being noticed, most often during childhood in the classroom, and thus receiving a diagnosis. We're here to help! Contact Us Now! Meet with our Client Care Coordinator FURTHER READING Consider: 'I was exhausted trying to figure it out': The experiences of females receiving an autism diagnosis in middle to late adulthood" Read about the experiences of late-in-life women diagnosed late in life. Finding the True Number of Females with Autistic Spectrum Disorder by Estimating the Biases in Initial Recognition and Clinical Diagnosis Could there be more females than males on the spectrum? The Female Autism Phenotype and Camouflaging: a Narrative Review For a deep dive into the Female Autistic Phenotype, check out this article. Physical health of Autistic Girls and Women: A Scoping Review Females with Autism: An Unofficial List Neurodivergent Minds This book is based on a paradigm-shifting study of neurodivergent women. Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

OCD vs Autism autism friendly stress relief Overload is real, not rude. Your mind and body are off-line. More words won’t regulate; breath will. Use breath as first aid. Start solo. Do it together when you're ready. It’s quick, concrete, and science-backed. Here’s exactly how. First, name it with a cue you both agree on. Try: "breath break," “red light,” “reset,” “time-in,” “quiet minute,” “buffer,” or “storm pause.” The cue means to stop talking, and start the breath exercise. Pick one of two ways to breathe: Option A — Physiological Sigh for fast relief. Two short inhales through the nose, then one long, unhurried exhale through the mouth. Repeat for 1–3 minutes. Research: Daily cyclic sighing has better results than mindfulness for improving mood in a randomized trial. Option B — Resonance Breathing for deeper regulation. 4 seconds in, 6 seconds out Repeat for 2–5 minutes. Research: This pace reliably boosts vagal activity and steadies the system. If breathing together feels hard, you’re not failing—you’re flooded. Say, “I need two minutes to breathe on my own,” to settle your system. Then decide if you can come back together. Remember that co-regulation is a skill you can work on in therapy.Solo regulation is a valid step on the way there. Make it autism-friendly. Keep it simple. Minimize noise and distraction. Tailor the environment so it's sensory-safe. Use a visual pacer (see the example below). When and if you’re ready, do it side-by-side. Hand-in-hand or shoulder-to-shoulder, and match pace. Gentle partner touch increases respiratory and heart-rate coupling under stress. Do your breath work before tough talks.And after, especially if you feel revved up. Do it nightly to lower your baseline. Two minutes of breath work every day can save hours of spiraling later.Need help working on this with your partner? [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Note 1: For a short video explaining the “Physiological Sigh”: https://youtu.be/rBdhqBGqiMc?si=MohtB6FddBw3C8rS&t=7 Note 2: For visual guides to breathing: https://duffthepsych.com/anxietygif/ https://healthymonday.com/stress-management/6-gifs-to-help-you-relax © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Shea Davis Specialties Neurodiverse Couples Cassandra Syndrome Support Communication Addiction, Trauma, Betrayal Recovery Blended Families Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse) Emotionally Focused Therapy Internal Family Systems Life Experience Lived 24 Years in a Neurodiverse Marriage. I know the highs and heartbreaks of a relationship where love is real—but miscommunication is constant. That lived experience grounds the way I support couples navigating similar dynamics. Parented a Brilliant, Struggling Neurodivergent Son. As a mom and advocate, I learned to interpret, adapt, and create safety for a child the world didn’t always understand. That shaped my deep respect for nervous system differences and co-regulation. Rebuilt After Addiction, Trauma & Betrayal. I’ve walked through collapse and come out the other side—with hard-earned insight into recovery, boundaries, and how to rebuild relationships rooted in mutual safety. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT # 154799, Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Get Booked with Shea! Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Most people diagnosed with ADHD as youngsters are told it's bad, and they're made to feel broken and need to be fixed. These same people grow into adults, thinking they are flawed and scatterbrained; this couldn't be further from the truth. There are many benefits of ADHD, and I think of people diagnosed with ADHD as having superpowers! 1. You're More Creative People with ADHD are often more creative than their non-ADHD colleagues. This is because they can see the world differently and easily live, work, and play outside the box! This creativity can be expressed in many different ways, such as through art, music, writing, or even how they approach problems. ADHD is considered part of the Neurodiversity Spectrum, meaning that people living with ADHD have a different brain wiring than neurotypical people. People with ADHD often have what's known as "divergent thinking." This means they see things from multiple perspectives and develop original solutions to problems. This is a valuable skill in any environment; however, it is advantageous in fields that require creativity, such as advertising, marketing, and design. 2. You're More Spontaneous ADHDers are spur-of-the-moment people. This means they're always up for trying new things and going on new adventures. Some people say that "spontaneity is the spice of life," and that's certainly true for people with ADHD! Think about all the positive opportunities that come with being spontaneous: You get to try new things, you are never bored, and you always have an exciting story to tell. Some of the best storytellers I know have ADHD; they embellish a story to make it relatable and entertaining. 3. You have Better Focus Despite what most people think, some people with ADHD have outstanding focus skills. When they're interested in something, they can tune out all distractions and zero in on the task at hand. Just imagine the ability subscribe to a level of hyperfocus on something you're passionate about! This focus can lead to high productivity and success in school, life, and work. Adults with ADHD often find careers in fields that require this type of laser focus, such as surgeons, athletes, and pilots. 4. You're More Energetic People with ADHD are known for having boundless energy. They're often described as "little balls of energy" or "human dynamos." And while this may seem like a negative trait, it's a huge benefit! That's because people with ADHD often have higher dopamine levels, a neurotransmitter responsible for arousal and pleasure. This increased level of dopamine can lead to higher levels of energy. And while this can be a downside at times (e.g., it can make it hard to focus or sleep), it also has its benefits. For instance, this high energy can be channeled into creative endeavors, physical activity, or other outlets. It's also one of the things that makes people with ADHD such great leaders. When you have the energy to take charge and get things done, other people naturally want to follow your lead. 5. You're More Resilient People with ADHD are used to being told that they can't do something or that they'll never amount to anything. As a result, they've become quite resilient and refuse to give up even when the going gets tough. For example, someone with ADHD might be told they're not smart enough to attend college. But instead of accepting this, they'll work twice as hard to get into the school of their choice and prove everyone wrong. Possessing resilience is a skill that can be beneficial in all areas of life. For instance, if you're resilient at work, you're more likely to get promoted because you're not afraid of challenging tasks. If you're resilient in your personal life, you're more likely to maintain healthy relationships because you don't give up when things get difficult. 6. You Live in the Moment ADHDers are present-oriented people. This means they don't dwell on the past or worry too much about the future. Parents of children with ADHD are often told to "enjoy these years because they'll be gone before you know it." And while this may seem like a cliche, it's true! People diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder tend to have a "live for today" mentality. They're not as concerned with what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow. Instead, they're focused on the here and now and making the most of every moment. 7. You're a Risk Taker Individuals with ADHD are also known for being risk takers. They're not afraid to try new things, take chances, or even dance alone on the dance floor! And while this can sometimes get them into trouble, it also leads to new opportunities and experiences. Risk-taking can lead to some amazing experiences, both good and bad. But overall, it's a trait that allows people with ADHD to live life to the fullest. Research shows that in the book "Five Regrets of the Dying," by Bonnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who spent the last twelve weeks of many people's lives with them as they lay dying; people are not sad about the things they did, but about the things they didn't do. So if you have ADHD and are feeling a little daring, go out and take some risks! No regrets!! 8. You're More Passionate ADHDers are passionate people who are not afraid to feel things deeply or show their emotions. And while this can sometimes be a downside (e.g., they might get too wrapped up in their work or a relationship), it's also a significant strength. Passion allows people with ADHD to be creative, unique, and successful. It's the driving force behind their risk-taking behavior and refusal to give up when things get tough. 9. You're a Good Problem Solver People with ADHD are often good at solving problems. That's because they're not afraid to push the proverbial envelope or come up with new and cutting-edge solutions to problems. This problem-solving skill is one of the things that makes people with ADHD such great entrepreneurs and leaders. They're not afraid to take risks or try new things, which is essential for any business owner. Just think what would be possible if people with ADHD helped solve the issues of the climate crisis, poverty, or world hunger! 10. You're Unique! There's no one else quite like you! Embrace your individuality and use it to your advantage. Allow your quirks to shine, and don't be afraid to be yourself. Many people with ADHD feel like they have to conform to societal norms and expectations. But the truth is, you're much better off being your authentic self. When you do this, you'll attract people who appreciate you for who you are. And that's the best kind of relationship to have in life. Conclusion While ADHD may come with some challenges, it comes with many benefits as well. Use these ten things as a reminder that you're not only exceptional, but also one-of-a-kind! However, everyone needs help sometimes. Working with a therapist who specializes in neurodiversity can be extremely helpful when it comes to understanding and navigating your experience with ADHD. When you're ready, our team is here to help. Get Matched With An Expert All the best, Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony , MA is a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #127882, Registered Associate Professional Clinical Counselor #10253, Transpersonal Coach, Author & Speaker. Click here to learn more about Barbara Lazarony. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule With Whitney Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Are you curious about whether or not you have autism/ADHD? Want to learn more about yourself and take the first step towards deeper self-understanding? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take An ASD/ADHD Screener Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

ADHD Women THE OVERLOOKED SYMPTOMS OF ADHD IN WOMEN Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) affects people of all genders and ages, but the symptoms in adult women often go unrecognized or misdiagnosed. This is due to a lack of understanding about how ADHD manifests in women and the assumption that it only affects boys and men. The symptoms of ADHD in women can include forgetfulness, distractibility, disorganization, impulsivity, and emotional dysregulation. Women with ADHD are often labeled as “scatter-brained” or “flaky,” but these symptoms can have a significant impact on their daily lives and relationships. UNDERSTANDING ADHD SYMPTOMS IN WOMEN AND CELEBRATING THEIR STRENGTHS It is important to note that ADHD is not just a disorder of deficits and challenges, but also of strengths and positives. Many women with ADHD possess unique talents and abilities, such as creativity, resilience, and adaptability. They are often highly intuitive, compassionate, and empathetic. Women with ADHD are also known for their ability to hyper-focus on tasks that they find interesting or enjoyable, leading to great success in areas they are passionate about. Our therapists recognize and celebrate these strengths while working with clients to manage their symptoms and build on their talents. Through therapy, women with ADHD can learn to channel their strengths and manage their challenges to achieve success and fulfillment in all areas of their lives. MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT WOMEN WITH ADHD There are many misconceptions about ADHD that prevent women from receiving the support they need. For example, ADHD is often stereotyped as a disorder that only affects young boys and is associated with hyperactivity. In r e ality, many women with ADHD may not have been diagnosed until adulthood, as their symptoms can be less visible than those of men and may manifest in different ways. Moreover, ADHD is not just about hyperactivity, but also involves difficulties with attention, impulsivity, and executive functioning. Unfortunately, these misconceptions can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and isolation among women with ADHD. At our therapy site, we strive to educate our clients and the broader community about the realities of ADHD in women, and work to dispel harmful myths and stereotypes. We believe that everyone deserves access to accurate information and compassionate support. Curious if your experiences align with ADHD traits in women? Autism Screener for Adult Women THERAPEUTIC APPROACHES FOR WOMEN WITH ADHD We offer a range of therapeutic approaches for women with ADHD, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness-based approaches, and coaching. CBT is particularly effective for ADHD, as it helps clients to identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to ADHD symptoms. We also provide practical tools and resources to help clients manage their symptoms on a day-to-day basis. A HOLISTIC APPROACH TO ADHD THERAPY Our therapists take a holistic approach to therapy for women with ADHD. We recognize that ADHD can impact many aspects of a woman's life, from hormone fluctuations to work and relationships. We work with clients to identify their unique challenges and develop strategies for managing symptoms in all areas of their lives. We also explore the impact of ADHD on their relationships, and help them to build stronger, healthier connections with loved ones. 10 STEPS FOR THERAPEUTIC SUPPORT Welcome to our guide on supporting women with ADHD! If you're living with ADHD or supporting someone who is, these tips are designed to help you navigate everyday life with more ease and confidence. Here are 10 practical steps to make things a bit smoother. 1. Learn About ADHD Understanding ADHD is the first step. Learn how it affects women, especially since it can look different compared to men. Find out about the common signs, like distractibility, impulsivity, and emotional swings. Don't hesitate to ask for resources to understand more. 2. Get a Full Picture It's not just about ADHD symptoms. Take the time to explore your personal history, family background, and other health factors. This can help you and your therapist understand the complete picture and tailor the best support for you. 3. Focus on Your Strengths You have amazing skills and talents! Women with ADHD often have creativity, empathy, and adaptability. Let's build on those strengths to boost your confidence and resilience. 4. Create a Custom Plan One-size-fits-all doesn't work here. Your treatment plan should be unique, just like you. It might include behavioral strategies, therapy, or medication, depending on your needs and preferences. Your goals are the focus. 5. Learn Practical Skills Let's get practical. Learn ways to manage your time, get organized, and handle your emotions. These skills can make a big difference in reducing stress and chaos. 6. Make Your Space Work for You Your environment matters. Make changes to your surroundings that reduce distractions and help you stay on track. This could mean decluttering, setting up routines, or finding tools that keep you focused. 7. Try Mindfulness Mindfulness techniques can help with focus and keeping calm. Deep breathing, meditation, and grounding exercises are great ways to manage stress and impulsivity. 8. Work with Your Healthcare Team If you're taking medication, make sure it's working for you without too many side effects. Stay in touch with your doctor and therapist to keep everything in check. 9. Build Your Support Team Having a solid support system is crucial. Connect with family, friends, or support groups who understand and encourage you. Don't be afraid to speak up about what you need at work or home. 10. Stay Flexible and Adaptable ADHD can change over time. Keep an eye on what’s working and what’s not, and don't be afraid to switch things up. Regular check-ins with your therapist can help you stay on track and celebrate your progress. We hope these steps help you feel more in control and supported. Remember, you're not alone, and there's a whole community here to help you thrive. ADHD TREATMENT FOR GIRLS VS. WOMEN Treatment for ADHD women differs from that for girls, as women have unique challenges related to hormonal changes, relationships, and career demands. Our therapists are trained to work with adult women specifically, and tailor treatment to their individual needs and circumstances. NEED PRACTICAL SKILLS? Our clients inevitably ask about learning practical skills. More specifically, it is important to find ways to navigate everyday tasks and challenges that can sometimes feel overwhelming with ADHD. Here are some detailed tips to help you master these skills and make your day-to-day life easier: Time Management ADHD can make it tricky to keep track of time. Try using visual timers or alarms to stay on schedule. Break tasks into smaller chunks and set specific deadlines. A calendar app or planner can also help you keep an eye on upcoming events, appointments, and deadlines. Organizational Tools A cluttered space can lead to a cluttered mind. Keep things simple by using clear containers and labeling them. Create designated spots for keys, bags, and other essentials. If you need extra help, consider a professional organizer or apps that guide you through organization steps. Task Lists and Prioritization To-do lists are your friend. Write down tasks and cross them off as you complete them. You can use a bullet journal or a digital app for this. Prioritize tasks by importance and urgency. This way, you can focus on what really matters without feeling overwhelmed Minimize Distractions Distractions can be a major hurdle. Try working in a quiet space or using noise-canceling headphones. Keep your phone and other electronics on "do not disturb" while working on important tasks. Browser extensions that block distracting websites can also be useful. Develop Routines Consistent routines can be a game-changer. Establish daily habits for mornings, evenings, and even meals. When routines are in place, your brain doesn't have to work as hard to remember what comes next. This can make your day flow more smoothly. Practice Emotional Regulation ADHD often comes with intense emotions. Learn techniques to manage these moments, like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or grounding exercises. Keep a journal to track your feelings and identify triggers. This can help you respond to emotions instead of reacting impulsively. Build in Breaks Breaks are essential to avoid burnout. Use the Pomodoro Technique or a similar approach to work in short bursts with breaks in between. During breaks, do something enjoyable, like stretching, walking, or listening to music. This helps you stay refreshed and focused. Seek Support and Accountability You're not in this alone. Share your plans with a friend or family member who can help keep you on track. Join support groups or online communities for people with ADHD to exchange tips and encouragement. Learning practical skills takes time and practice. Start with small steps, and don't be too hard on yourself if things don't go perfectly. The key is finding what works for you and sticking with it. With these skills, you'll be better equipped to manage ADHD and enjoy a more balanced and organized life. CURIOUS IF YOU ARE ADHD? Curious if your experiences align with ADHD traits in women? Take our ADHD Screening for Women to gain insights, recognize patterns, and explore supportive resources tailored to your unique journey. The button below will take you to our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment . There, you'll be able to take our Free Online Adult ADHD Screener and gain further insight. Adult ADHD Screener for Women FINAL WORDS Our therapists are dedicated to providing compassionate and effective therapy for women with ADHD. We understand the challenges that come with a diagnosis of ADHD, and work with clients to develop strategies and tools to manage symptoms and improve their overall quality of life. If you think you may have ADHD or have been diagnosed and are seeking support, please contact us to learn more about our services Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Addiction & Neurodiversity: A Different Path to Healing Are you autistic or ADHD? And struggling with substance addiction? Does it feel like everyone trying to "help" is speaking a language you don’t understand? You’ve probably sat in the rooms. You’ve heard the lectures. You’ve been told to "surrender your defects" or "just sit with the feeling." But when you try to sit with the feeling, your skin crawls. It is easy to look at a failed stint in rehab and think, "This system is broken, so why bother?" It’s also easy to internalize the failure and think, "I'm just looking for excuses to bail." But there is a third option. The problem likely isn't your willingness, and it isn't necessarily that "recovery is broken." The problem is that you are trying to run a standard operating system on a computer that wasn't built for it. You don’t get to opt out of recovery, but you do need to opt into a method that speaks your brain’s language. If you are Autistic or ADHD, your path to sobriety needs to look different because your brain is different. We don’t just treat the addiction. We treat the sensory overload, the dopamine starvation, and the exhaustion of masking that drove you to the substance in the first place. The Reality: You Are Not Alone It is easy to feel like the "black sheep" when traditional rehab doesn’t work, but the data proves that neurodivergent people face a statistically higher risk of addiction—not because they are "bad," but because they are coping with a world not built for them. The ADHD Risk: Research shows that adults with ADHD are three times more likely to struggle with a substance use disorder than the general population.¹ The connection is so strong that nearly 25% of all adults seeking treatment for alcohol or substance abuse have undiagnosed ADHD.² [1] The Autistic Connection: While some studies show autistic adults drink less frequently, they are significantly more vulnerable when they do. Autistic adults are nearly nine times more likely than their neurotypical peers to use recreational drugs specifically to manage unwanted mental health symptoms.³ The "Why" Matters: For neurotypical people, addiction is often about seeking a "high." For neurodivergent people, it is almost always about seeking relief —from sensory pain, social anxiety, or a brain that won't turn off.⁴ Anecdotally, this feels low. It feels like half the people in the rooms have ADHD. But that's just the rooms I've been in. Why Traditional Treatment Often Fails Most rehabs and outpatient programs are designed for neurotypical brains. For the neurodivergent mind, these standard practices can inadvertently cause harm rather than healing: Group Therapy Overload: Being forced to make sustained eye contact and share deep trauma in a circle of strangers is often overwhelming. For many, this causes autistic shutdown or panic, rather than a therapeutic breakthrough. Abstract Concepts: Phrases like "turning it over" or "spiritual awakening" can be vague and frustrating for literal thinkers. Neurodivergent clients often need concrete, logical, and actionable tools—not metaphors.⁵ Executive Dysfunction: Demanding a client "just show up on time" or "keep a daily journal" without support ignores the reality of executive function challenges. Without scaffolding for time blindness or task paralysis, these demands just create more shame.⁵ The Neurodiverse Difference: Why It Happens We look deeper at the function the behavior serves, rather than just the behavior itself. 1. The Sensory Shield (Autism) For many Autistic people, alcohol or opioids function as a "chemical volume knob." They dampen the noise of fluorescent lights, scratchy clothes, and crowded rooms. You aren't seeking a party; you are seeking a moment of silence in a loud world. 2. The Dopamine Hunt (ADHD) The ADHD brain is chemically starved for dopamine. Stimulants or high-risk behaviors (gambling, gaming) temporarily fix this deficit. It’s not a lack of discipline; it’s a desperate attempt to feel "normal" and focused for the first time. 3. The Masking Trap Socializing is exhausting. Alcohol is often "liquid courage," suppressing social anxiety and making it easier to "mask" (mimic neurotypical social cues). The trap is believing you are only lovable when you are intoxicated. The Whole Picture: Integrating Biology & Life Experience We want to be clear: Neurodivergence is usually not the only reason for addiction. Trauma, grief, family history, and environmental stressors are powerful drivers of substance abuse for everyone, regardless of their neurology. We do not ignore these factors. In fact, they are often deeply intertwined with the experience of growing up neurodivergent in a world that didn't understand you. However, if we treat the trauma but ignore your biology, the foundation of recovery remains unstable. You can heal your past, but if your nervous system is still constantly overwhelmed or starved for dopamine, the urge to self-medicate will return. Can I still go to 12-Step Programs (AA/NA)? Absolutely. We are not "anti-12-step." In fact, for many Autistic and ADHD individuals, the community and structure of programs like AA can be lifesaving— if the right accommodations are in place. Recovery works best when you have two parallel tracks: 1. Community Support: Utilizing groups like AA/NA for fellowship, but finding a format that works for you. This might mean "sharing" through writing, finding smaller neuro-affirming groups, or realizing that you don't have to perform your trauma verbally to be "working the steps." 2. Brain-Based Treatment: Working with a specialist to manage the physiological drivers of addiction—sensory regulation, executive function support, and dopamine management—so that you aren't fighting your own biology to stay sober. Our Approach: Neuro-Informed Recovery We believe in adaptation, not deprivation . We don't just take the coping mechanism away; we build a life that is sustainable without it. Sensory-Safe Spaces: We welcome stimming and offer low-stimulation on-line environments. Concrete & Logical: We use Internal Family Systems (IFS) and CBT , mapping out your brain logically rather than relying on abstract spiritual concepts. Executive Scaffolding: We help you build sobriety systems that account for time blindness and task paralysis—using visual anchors and routine building, not just "willpower." Meet Our Neuro-Informed Addiction Specialists Recovery looks different when your therapist has walked the path. Malori Evans, AMFT & APCC AuDHD & Substance Use Specialist Malori is a powerhouse of insight. Identifying as AuDHD (Autistic + ADHD) and a queer woman in recovery from addiction, she knows the journey from the inside out. Malori formerly worked as a physician, giving her a deep biological understanding of how substances impact the body and brain. She specializes in helping clients who use substances to cope with sensory overwhelm and burnout . Her "Relationship Anarchy" and anti-hierarchical approach creates a safe space where you are the expert on your own experience. Jory Wilson, AMFT Neurodiverse Couples & Sex Addiction Specialist Jory brings a powerful, lived perspective to his work. As a therapist with ADHD who is in a neurodiverse marriage himself, Jory understands the unique shame spiral that comes with "feeling different." He specializes in Sex Addiction and Betrayal Recovery , helping couples navigate the wreckage of compulsive behaviors. Jory uses a compassionate, non-judgmental approach to help partners understand that "acting out" is often a maladaptive attempt to regulate an overwhelmed nervous system. He integrates spirituality and science to help you rebuild trust. Shea Davis, AMFT Trauma & Addiction Recovery Specialist Shea’s wisdom comes from the trenches. Years ago, she walked into a 12-step meeting broken by addiction, emotional depletion, and a lifetime of "pushing through." She knows firsthand that for neurodivergent people, addiction is often a survival strategy to manage a world that feels too loud and too demanding. Shea doesn't just teach recovery; she lives it. She helps clients move past the shame of their past and build a recovery that honors their unique wiring, teaching you how to self-soothe without the substance. Meet with our Client Care Coordinator References Bunford, N., Evans, S. W., & Wymbs, F. (2015). ADHD and substance use disorders: Developmental aspects and the impact of stimulant treatment. The American Journal on Addictions , 24(7), 569–577. Link to Article Kessler, R. C., Adler, L., Barkley, R., et al. (2006). The prevalence and correlates of adult ADHD in the United States: Results from the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. American Journal of Psychiatry , 163(4), 716–723. Link to Article Sizoo, B., van den Brink, W., Koeter, M., van der Gaag, R. J., & van der Feltz-Cornelis, C. M. (2010). Treatment seeking adults with autism or ADHD and co-morbid substance use disorder: Prevalence, risk factors and functional disability. Drug and Alcohol Dependence , 107(1), 44–50. Link to Article Weir, E., Allison, C., & Baron-Cohen, S. (2021). The association between autistic traits and substance use: A systematic review. The Lancet Psychiatry , 8(8), 673–683. Link to Article Wilens, T. E., & Morrison, N. R. (2011). The intersection of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and substance abuse. Current Opinion in Psychiatry , 24(4), 280–285. Link to Article Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back Jen Terrell | Neurodiverse Couples Specialist At a Glance: My Journey & Experience Specialist in Neurodiverse Processing & Communication – Helps partners navigate differences in sensitivity, sensory load, and emotional expression, fostering connection across neurotypes. Trauma-Informed, Nervous-System-Centered – Prioritizes regulation before resolution so communication and repair can actually land. Autism, ADHD, and Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)–Informed Care – Helps clients understand their sensitivity, manage sensory and emotional overload, and develop regulation tools that make daily life and relationships more sustainable. 28 Years Married – Brings long-term partnership perspective to real-world issues like rupture, repair, routines, and seasons of closeness/distance. Mother of Four – Parent of four children (ages 13 to 17) with decades of lived experience; helps parents understand behavior through a sensory and regulation lens and build connection through practical routines and repair. Culturally & Biculturally Fluent (Korean/American) – Welcomes bicultural families, immigrants, and intergenerational dynamics; builds bridges without forcing assimilation. Betrayal & Trust Repair – Experienced in helping couples recover from relational injuries (ranging from major betrayals to quiet accumulations of hurt). Healing for Neurodiverse Couples Welcome! I believe that every neurodiverse couple needs a clear, repeatable way to stay connected without burning out. My approach is to translate different communication styles, reduce avoidable overload, and design a rhythm of togetherness and solitude that keeps both partners regulated enough to connect. Partners often speak different “native languages”—one may be more literal, direct, and energy‑limited; the other more inferential, fast‑paced, and socially tuned. We’ll get specific about time (how you start/stop, transition, and reunite), communication (how bids are sent and received), and environment (sensory factors that either drain or refuel), with an eye on roles, fairness, and repair. Here are core practices we’ll build together: Communication mapping & translation: turn missed bids into clear asks; bridge literal ↔ inferential styles; agree on scripts and hand signals for “I’m flooding” and “please be concrete.” Time design: set a predictable cadence of together/alone; use “parallel play” and low‑demand connection; build entry/exit rituals so reunions don’t derail. Sensory‑aware connection : plan dates and talks around noise/light/texture limits; negotiate eye‑contact and touch preferences; create a quiet‑connection menu. Executive‑function scaffolding: externalize plans with shared calendars/boards; define task hand‑offs; use time‑blindness tools and realistic transition buffers. Repair rituals: slow down escalations with step‑by‑step time‑outs; separate intent from impact; use brief apology/repair templates and scheduled do‑overs. Role clarity & fairness: make invisible labor visible; rebalance loads in weekly check‑ins; document “how we do it” for recurring friction points. Intimacy agreements: map bids for affection/sexuality; create a pressure‑free intimacy menu and consent signals so closeness feels safe, not demanding. Who I Work With If you’re seeking a relational, trauma-informed, nervous-system-centered approach—and you want practical steps that protect the dignity of both partners—you’re in the right place. Neurodiverse couples and individuals who want to better understand their brains and strengthen their connection. Partners caught in protest–withdraw, collapse–escalate, or silence–pursuit cycles Highly sensitive clients who feel overwhelmed or chronically misunderstood Couples facing communication breakdowns and trust ruptures Families navigating bicultural, immigrant, and intergenerational dynamics If you want a relational, trauma‑informed, nervous‑system‑centered approach—with practical steps that protect the dignity of both partners—I’d be honored to work with you. Personal Story Between Worlds (Bicultural Roots) I’m the first‑generation daughter of a Korean immigrant mother and an American father. From the start, I translated more than words—decoding emotion, catching the rules no one said out loud, and learning how to belong in two cultures that didn’t always speak to each other. Fluent in the Unsaid (Alexithymic Parent) In our home, the loudest things were often unspoken. My dad—late‑identified with alexithymia—showed love in steady, practical ways, but emotional words rarely appeared. I became fluent in tone, timing, and tension. In sessions, that means I track micro‑shifts in breath, eyes, and posture so people feel understood even before the words come. I help partners name what they’re experiencing without shame or minimization, so truth lands without doing more harm. Highly Sensitive, Not Fragile (HSP) As a kid, I over‑functioned—anticipating needs, smoothing conflict, and carrying more than I could hold. Adulthood asked me to refine that sensitivity into a strength. Today I honor bandwidth, set clear boundaries, and use sensitivity as a precise instrument for connection. In practice, we pace the work to what your nervous systems can actually tolerate and design environments—sensory, time, and tasks—that support connection rather than sabotage it. (If HSP is new—or you’d like a quick read and a brief screener— here’s a short guide . Twenty‑Eight Years Married I’ve been married for 28 years. Long‑term love isn’t a straight line; it moves through seasons. I’ve lived chapters of deep connection and chapters that required grit, mercy, humor, and repair. That history shapes my lens. I respect the real cycle of closeness, distance, rupture, and repair. I focus on daily design—routines, roles, and transitions—that make safety repeatable. My hope is honest, not naïve: change is possible when it’s practiced, not just promised. And I carry a bias toward repair in real time rather than perfection in theory. Steady When Sessions Feel Intense Couples therapy can feel pressure‑filled—voices tighten, bodies brace, and it can seem like everything is on the line. This is a space where I feel at home. Years of leading through real‑world crises taught me how to stay calm, keep dignity intact, and guide two good people back to each other when the moment feels impossible. In the room, I slow reactivity so thinking can return, I name the pattern that’s hijacking the conversation, and I help you find the next caring step you can actually do. From Othering to Belonging Growing up in a Northern California suburb, I often felt like an outsider—present but out of sync. That experience sharpened my empathy for anyone who feels “too much,” “too little,” or simply “different.” In couples work, that becomes bridge‑building: not assimilation to one partner’s style, but a third way where both people are understood and supported. Why This Matters in Therapy This background means I translate across neurotypes and cultures so messages land as intended. I privilege nervous‑system reality over willpower so change is sustainable. And I protect the dignity of both partners while we practice new moves in the room. What to Expect in Session Clients describe my style as warm, steady, and clear. I am direct without shaming and structured without being rigid. We will name what is actually happening between you, not just what you wish were happening. We will practice in the room so you don’t have to build new habits alone at home. We will keep an eye on sensory load, processing speed, and executive‑function bandwidth so that plans are doable, not performative. And when repairs are needed, we will do them well—at a pace your bodies can tolerate—so trust has a chance to grow again. Neurodiversity & Identity I’m proud to be neurodiverse. I’m unequivocally a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and—when you look through the lens of how autism often presents in women—my profile includes strong autistic traits alongside very high camouflaging. That matches my lived experience: I feel deeply, notice quickly, and learned early to “blend in” to keep connection. I also experience meaningful sensory differences, so I pay close attention to sound, light, and tactile load—for myself and for my clients. Because I’m wired this way, I intuitively understand the push–pull dynamics many neurodiverse couples face, and I know how to translate, pace, and design safety so both partners can actually meet. Parenting Across Neurotypes I love being a mom of four precious children—ages 27 to 13. Parenting four different humans taught me more about neurodiversity than any textbook. Each child brought a distinct nervous system, sensory profile, and way of connecting. Strategies that soothed one could overwhelm another. I learned—sometimes the hard way—that what looks like “defiance” or “avoidance” is often a nervous system protecting itself from overload. I also learned that the same moment can require very different responses: one child needed quiet and deep pressure to come back online; another needed movement and a time‑boxed plan; a third needed humor and a snack before words; a fourth needed space and a predictable check‑in. That lived education is the backbone of my work with parents. In my work with parents, I translate behavior through a regulation and sensory lens, build routines that actually fit a family’s bandwidth, and protect connection while setting clear, sustainable boundaries. Structure and tenderness are not opposites; they’re partners. Decode: meltdown vs. shutdown; sensory overload vs. “oppositional”; lagging skills vs. willful refusal. Design: mornings, transitions, homework flow, screen‑time limits, and recovery plans after overwhelm. Co‑regulate: simple scripts, breath/grounding cues, sensory kits, and repair rituals after conflict. Boundaries: a few clear rules, visual cues, choices inside limits, and plans for high‑stress moments. Special Focus: Betrayal Healing Betrayal shows up in every relationship in one form or another—sometimes large and obvious, sometimes quiet and cumulative. However it appears, it wounds safety and reshapes the story two people tell about each other. My focus is to slow reactivity, put clear words to the harm, and build a steady, compassionate repair process that honors truth, restores safety, and rebuilds trust over time. This work is careful and paced to what bodies can tolerate; it’s not performative, and it’s not rushed. Training & Approaches My work is grounded in relational neuroscience—the brain is social and changes through co‑regulation. Insight matters, but change sticks through repeated, attuned moments of safety. I integrate: Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT) — reference: PACT Institute Internal Family Systems (parts work) — reference: IFS Institute Polyvagal‑informed regulation work — reference: Polyvagal Institute Somatic tracking and attunement — reference: Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute Attachment science for couples (EFT) — reference: ICEEFT Trauma‑informed principles — reference: SAMHSA Research‑based communication and repair tools — reference: The Gottman Institute License &Employment Information Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #155583 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Neurodiverse Couples, Highly Sensitive People (HSP), Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Communication, Multicultural Challenges, Trauma-Informed, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Jen Terrell Take an Autism Test

M enopaus e a neurodiverse communication Do apologies seem to make things worse? Do you dread apologizing? Why do apologies go sideways in neurodiverse relationships?Because intent and impact get lost in translation. All couples fight. The happy ones are able to repair. Here are three apologies that backfire—and what to try instead: “Sorry you feel that way.” This dismisses impact and centers the speaker. Say this instead: “I can see I hurt you. That’s on me. Here’s what I’ll do differently tonight: put away my phone during dinner.” Why it works: Responsibility + concrete next step rebuilds trust. “The reason I did it is…” Explanations feel like excuses when pain is fresh. Say this instead: “First, I own it. I interrupted you in front of your parents. I’ll make a repair by naming it and apologizing in front of them.” Why it works: Ownership before context, and a specific repair offer. “I’m sorry, but you know how my brain works.” Neurotype is real, but “but” erases the apology. Say this instead: “My ADHD/autism made this hard, AND I still owe you follow-through. I’ll set a 6 p.m. alarm and text you a photo of the mailed check.” Why it works: Acknowledges neurotype + commits to an observable behavior. When you get apologies right, it’s a huge relief. But how do we learn to do this? Make your apologies neurodiversity-smart. Use clear, literal language. Skip sarcasm, hints, and loaded questions. Name the impact in the partner’s terms. Impact beats intent when repairing trust. Offer a micro-repair that is visible and time-bound. Think “what will my partner see by 7 p.m.?” Expect different apology needs by neurotype. Mixed neurotype pairs often misread sincerity and tone. That’s a two-way gap, not a character flaw. Build a shared repair script. Speaker: “I own what I did: [behavior] . I see it landed as [impact] . I will [specific repair] by [time] .” Listener: “Thanks for owning it. What I need most next time is [one behavior] . I’m open to hearing brief context later.” If apologies keep stalling, use a daily check-in ritual. Ask: “Any repairs owed?” Track it in writing so working memory and shame don’t hijack progress. Why this matters for ADHD: Relationships with untreated ADHD report higher conflict and shorter stability. Repairs must be simple, externalized, and scheduled. Bottom line. Don’t chase the perfect apology. Chase the measurable repair. If apologies keep missing each other, we can help you build a shared repair language that fits both brains. [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Jenny Pan Specialties Neurodiverse & Neurotypical Couples Counseling Complex PTSD Cassandra Support Divorce & Blended Family Work Parenting Autism and ADHD Betrayal & Affairs Recovery Work Multicultural Relationship Challenges LGBTQ+ Affirming and Relationship Support Life Experience Lived 15 Years in a Neurodivergent Marriage Before either of us had language for autism or ADHD, we struggled to connect across invisible neurological lines. I know firsthand the exhaustion, confusion, and deep love that coexist in neurodiverse relationships—and how understanding changes everything. Raised Two Neurodivergent Children in a Blended Family Parenting through sensory sensitivities, shifting routines, and co-parenting across households taught me empathy in action. Our family is beautifully complex, living proof that difference and connection can thrive together. Bridged Cultures, Languages, and Identities As a first-generation Taiwanese American, I learned early how to translate between worlds—Mandarin and English, East and West, expectation and emotion. That experience now guides how I help multicultural and neurodiverse couples find shared meaning without losing themselves. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT # 155590, Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Get Booked with Jenny! Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners References Chapple, M., et al. (2021). Overcoming the Double Empathy Problem. NIH/PMC. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8354525/ PMC Crompton, C. J., et al. (2020). Neurotype-matching… rapport in autistic vs non-autistic pairs. Frontiers in Psychology. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.586171/full Frontiers Driver, J. L., & Gottman, J. M. (2004). Daily marital interactions and positive affect during conflict. https://scottbarrykaufman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Driver-and-Gottman-2004.pdf Scott Barry Kaufman Ginapp, C. M., et al. (2023). The experiences of adults with ADHD in interpersonal relationships. NIH/PMC. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10399076/ PMC Lewicki, R. J., Polin, B., & Lount, R. (2016). An Exploration of the Structure of Effective Apologies. Negotiation and Conflict Management Research. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/ncmr.12073 Wiley Online Library Milton, D. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: the ‘double empathy problem’. Disability & Society. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09687599.2012.710008 Taylor & Francis Online Ohio State University News (2016). The 6 elements of an effective apology. https://news.osu.edu/the-6-elements-of-an-effective-apology-according-to-science/ news.osu.edu Wymbs, B. T. (2021). Adult ADHD and romantic relationships: What we know and need to know. PubMed. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33421168/ PubMed Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

One-on-one and group support for Cassandra Syndrome (neurotypical partners who are in relationships with someone on the spectrum). We help you feel understood and are here to encourage self-care and provide practical advice. SUPPORT FOR NEUROTYPICALS < Back THE NEUROTYPICAL EXPERIENCE Because the person with autism does not have the same relational needs as the allistic partner, he or she is often unable to instinctively recognize the emotional needs of his or her partner and may feel ill-equipped to meet them. Relationships can thus form seriously dysfunctional patterns. RELATIONSHIP OF CONVENIENCE? People who do not have autism enter a relationship with the normal expectation that the priority of a relationship will be about togetherness, mutual terms and meeting of needs, but in reality, the relationship ends up feeling like one of practicality and convenience for the person with autism. For those who had typical expectations of the mutuality of marriage,… Show More

How to Stop an Argument from Escalating—Try the Pause Card Your next argument needs a pause button, not a power struggle. Grab a blank card, draw a giant ⏸, and you’ve built the cheapest relationship tech on Earth. Rule 1: Flash it when you feel the argument tipping over to a fight. Then walk away from each other. Either partner can flash it—no debate, no eye‑rolls, no veto, no chasing. It stops spirals mid‑sentence, before sarcasm turns to scorched earth. Autistic brain avoids sensory overload. Allistic brain sidesteps word grenades. Both nervous systems exit fight‑flight and drop into “buffering.” During the pause, no one problem‑solves, fact‑checks, or doom‑predicts. You breathe. Sip water. Walk three blocks. Pet the dog. Journal your thoughts and feelings. Rule 2: Return only when heart rates are under 100 and voices can fit inside a library. Always return within 24 hours. If your heart rate is still > 100 after 24 hours, return anyway. But tell your partner you're not ready. That you care. That you need more time. But you will come back within another 24 hours. Once you're calm and able to return, the conversation will feel different. The same topic feels like a puzzle, not a battlefield. The "pause" card must be respected. If it's used to avoid, it loses its magic. Respect it and you can turn conflict into connection. Need some hand holding to make this work? Schedule with one of our therapists Because sometimes saving love is as easy as hitting “pause.” Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Get Matched with a Therapist 🔦 Spotlight on Heather Emerson-Young Specialties Neurodivergent Couples Autistic Individuals & Family Members ADHD & Executive Functioning Support Complex Trauma & PTSD Substance Use & Co-Occurring Disorders Co-Parenting Challenges Parenting Twice Exceptional Children Identity & Self-Acceptance Specialist in Neurodiverse Relationships Lived Experience Lived Experience in a Neurodiverse Marriage Mother of Two Unique Children Parenting an 18-year-old and a 13-year-old. Diverse Educational Background – Master’s in Marriage & Family Therapy, degrees in Communication, and a Doctorate in Education Experience Across Multiple Fields – Over five years in nonprofit work supporting the unhoused, LGBTQ+ communities, and individuals with learning disabilities Dedicated Educator – Adjunct professor at community college, undergraduate, and graduate levels Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapist – Using evidence-based and strength-focused approaches to support clients Learn more about Heather! © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel