Neurodiversity-affirming family therapy across generations for autism, ADHD, and AuDHD. Reduce blame, improve repair, and build a shared language.

Learn how the Autism Trait Wheel maps challenges and strengths. Available in two versions: an interactive version and a plain-text version for screen readers. Prefer plain text? The version below is optimized for screen readers and voice to text. The Autism Trait Wheel Exercise This page comes in two versions: an interactive version above that you move through on screen, and this plain-text version below. Both cover the same information. A guided, interactive exercise that maps your autistic traits as a balanced picture of strengths and support needs - one question at a time. 16 Questions 5–8 Minutes Read More About this Exercise The Autism Trait Wheel Exercise is a guided, interactive self-reflection tool. It asks one question for each challenge and each strength across eight everyday areas, then builds a personalized "wheel" from your answers. It’s built on the idea of a spiky profile - autistic and neurodiverse people often thrive in some areas while needing real support in others. The exercise makes that uneven pattern visible in a balanced, strengths-affirming way, rather than reducing you to a list of deficits. 16 Questions 8 Trait Areas Free To Take Who It’s For Autistic and neurodivergent adults - diagnosed, self-identified, or simply exploring - who want a clearer, more compassionate picture of how their traits show up. You can keep your results private, or bring them into conversation with a therapist or someone you trust. Try this exercise if... You want to understand your autistic traits as a whole picture - not just a list of difficulties. You feel "spiky" - capable in some areas and genuinely stretched in others - and you want to see that pattern clearly. You’re preparing for therapy and want a concrete starting point for talking about strengths and support needs. You’ve taken screeners before but want something more personal and reflective. You want a tool you can save, revisit, and share with a therapist or partner. The 8 Trait Areas Each area pairs a possible challenge with a related strength. You rate both, so your wheel shows the full picture. 1. Social Challenge: May struggle to connect in social situations Strength: Builds authentic, selective relationships 2. Routine Challenge: Finds sudden change difficult Strength: Thrives with routine and predictability 3. Planning Challenge: Has difficulty planning or prioritizing tasks Strength: Excels with interest-based tasks 4. Emotions Challenge: Can feel emotionally overwhelmed Strength: Highly attuned to emotions 5. Communication Challenge: May miss indirect social cues Strength: Values clear, direct communication 6. Interests Challenge: Has difficulty shifting attention when focused Strength: Highly passionate about interests 7. Sensory Challenge: Can be overwhelmed by sensory input Strength: Highly attuned to the environment 8. Masking Challenge: Experiences burnout from sustained masking Strength: Can mask intentionally while staying connected to self How to Read Your Wheel You rate each area from 0 to 10. On the finished wheel, the center is 0 and the outer ring is 10. Red marks a challenge or support need; green marks a strength or capacity. Red = challenge or support need Green = strength or capacity A spiky, uneven wheel is completely normal - and it’s the most useful part. The shape shows where support may matter most and where your strengths deserve to be recognized and protected. Take it with you When you finish, you can download a printable PDF worksheet of your wheel and reflections - perfect to save for yourself or send to your therapist before your next session. Make Your Pattern Visible Your wheel is a starting point for understanding yourself with more clarity and compassion - and for helping the people close to you understand both sides of how you experience the world. Important note: This exercise is a self-reflection and conversation tool. It is not medical advice, a diagnosis, or a substitute for professional care. For diagnosis, treatment, or personalized clinical guidance, please consult with a member of our team or another qualified health professional.

Hi Everyone, Ever feel like you're at war with yourself? 🤯 I do. It’s that frustrating gap between the values you hold dear and the reality of how those values play out in life. For many couples—neurodivergent or not—this misalignment often comes down to how our brains are wired. The challenges aren’t limited to autistic partners. Both autistic and non-autistic individuals can struggle with translating their values into action. Brain wiring, patterns of thinking, and communication styles all play a role in how intentions get lost along the way. Instead of seeing the heart behind the effort, others often focus on the missteps—and that disconnect can be painful for everyone involved. But there’s hope! By understanding how these challenges show up in different ways for both partners, we can start to move past the outcomes and focus on the values that matter most. The Inner Struggle: Illustrating the Conflict Below are two tables that try to capture the inconsistencies we’re speaking about, one for an autistic person and one for an allistic person. Remember, these are not perfect representations, but they can illuminate some common areas of conflict between values and brain wiring.💖 Autistic Internal Conflict Table Values What happens in real life Honesty, Authenticity Everything must be said out loud. Perceived as rudeness and social missteps. Independence, Self-Reliance I resist help when I need it. A partner’s request is perceived as an ultimatum. Perceived as demand resistant. Fairness, Justice Fairness is all-or-nothing . " Perceived as moral rigidity and an intolerance for compromise. Calm, Harmony, Predictability Sensory sensitivity can lead to overwhelm and emotional dysregulation which is the opposite of the desired calm. Perceived as volatile. Deep Connection and Shared Understanding Difficulties in interpreting non-verbal cues. Perceived as disconnected, not caring. Allistic Internal Conflict Table Values What happens in real life Flexibility, Adaptability Prioritize social harmony over authenticity. Perceived as inauthentic, people pleaser. Connection, Shared Experiences Difficulties in understanding neurodivergent communication , resulting in flooding, pursuing, and criticizing. Perceived as overly emotional, irrational, and cruel. Empathy, Compassion The tendency to apply allistic assumptions about emotional expression (assume an emotion is not felt if it is not said). Perceived as judgmental, and self-righteous. Teamwork, Partnership The need for external validation may block progress on projects. Perceived as insecure, needy, and unreliable. Clear Communication, Directness A tendency toward indirect communication and "reading between the lines." Perceived as impossible to understand. The Core Conflict: A Daily Struggle For autistic people , the table above isn't just a list, it's a daily reality. The pull between their values and their neurobiology creates ongoing internal tension and frustration that then impacts how they are perceived. 💔 Likewise, an allistic person 's desire for connection and validation may be at odds with their difficulty understanding different communication styles and neurotypes, and their wiring to use indirect communication. ⚔️ 🌟 Navigating the Inconsistencies At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center , we start by guiding each partner on a journey of deep self-discovery, helping them unpack their own "table" —those deeply ingrained values juxtaposed with the realities of their brain wiring. This process involves carefully examining the internal conflicts that arise when their values clash with how they naturally react and process the world. As partners gain a clearer understanding of their own internal landscape, they can begin to articulate these often-unspoken struggles to each other. By fostering a space where each person can express their internal conflicts and feel truly heard and understood, the pathway to healing opens up.🛡️ 🚀 Internal Conflict Exercise This week, take some time to consider your own "Internal Conflict Table" and ask these questions: Where do your values and brain wiring clash? 🤔 Do you fight this clash or accept it with self-compassion? 💖 How do your values shape your expectations of your partner? 💡 When your actions are misunderstood, how do you respond? 😟 Can you spot when your partner’s actions conflict with their values? 🧐 How can you better express your struggles to your partner? 🗣️ If you're struggling to understand these complexities in your relationship, reach out. We’re here to support you every step of the way towards deeper connection and understanding. Click Here to Schedule! Warmly, Harry Motro Clinical Director 🔦 Spotlight on Monica Attia Specialties Assessment ADHD & Autism support Neurodiverse Couples Eating & Autism Teens Brainspotting / Trauma Internal Family Systems LGBTQIA+ Kink/Poly-Affirmed AuDHD Emotional Intimacy Professional Qualifications Masters of Science, Marriage and Family Therapy - San Diego State University Post-Baccalaureate Psychological Science Program - University of California, Irvine Juris Doctor - Georgetown University Law Center Bachelor of Arts, Political Science - University of California, Los Angeles Life Experience First-generation Egyptian-American, transitioned from lawyer to therapist. Diagnosed with ADHD and autism. Faced pressures to conform culturally and neurotypically, believing that being "normal" was the key to happiness. Discovered that celebrating neurodivergence fosters meaningful connections and embraced it fully. Wouldn’t trade neurodivergence, despite its challenges during childhood and adolescence, because it connects to a community of resilient individuals. Therapeutic Mission Dedicated to supporting and celebrating neurodiverse individuals and couples, fostering spaces where everyone feels seen and understood. Contact Liz Today! Did you miss the last Blog? Click Here to Read Now! Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Cassie Clayton, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Cassie Think You May be Have ADHD? The Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST) may be used to identify adults who may have undiagnosed ADHD Take the SAAST Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Neurodiverse Sex Therapy TIP: Want answers fast? Check out our 📄 Quick Guide on Neurodiverse Sex Therapy for key facts, FAQs , and why you should choose us. Watch Our Slide Presentation: "Let's Talk About Sex" We've created a free slide presentation that walks through the topics on this page in a more visual way — built specifically for neurodiverse couples and the clinicians who serve them. It covers how to talk about sex, the biology of desire and connection, how ND brains experience intimacy differently, the most common sexual problems we see in our practice (low libido, desire mismatches, ED, vaginismus, porn, body image), and the tools and scripts that actually help. View the presentation → Best viewed on a laptop or desktop. Free to share with your partner, your therapist, or anyone you think it might help. I GNITING THE SPARK IN YOUR NEURODIVERSE RELATIONSHIP Sexual intimacy is an important part of a couple’s relationship. Yet, it can feel like an unsurmountable challenge for neurodiverse couples to overcome. To make matters worse, sex often becomes so emotionally loaded that the couple will make an unspoken agreement that the topic is off limits for discussion. So, it should not be surprising that one study showed that 50% of neurodiverse couples had no sexual activity at all. Fortunately, with outside help, there is hope! Addressing the barriers to a healthy sex life with an understanding and acceptance of neurodiversity can set a couple on path to revive their sex life or to start one that has never existed. Our work with couples usually covers the areas listed below. Please know that these topics are NOT listed in order of importance as issues impact each couple in very different ways. We work with the couple so that they define their own issues and set the priority for our focus in therapy. Let's work on Your Relationship Now! COMMON STRUGGLES IN NEURODIVERSE RELATIONSHIPS DESIRE IMBALANCE A sexual challenge for all couples (both neurotypical and neurodiverse) can be a mismatched libido. However, the struggle is especially pronounced for neurodiverse couples. This problem occurs when one person has a higher sex drive than his or her partner. This libido difference can stay relatively steady throughout a relationship or can vary depending on the changes in each partner's body and what is happening in their lives . The libido imbalance can be viewed similarly to other differences that a couple may have. Examples include different levels of desire for travel, reading, exercise, and other life activities. However, the negotiation around mismatched libidos may be more difficult to resolve because it often gets played out through non-verbal cues which may be difficult for the NT partner to pick up on. This unresolved libido imbalance can lead to tension and confusion about how often a couple will have sex. And not having this worked out can make the high desire partner feel sexually unwanted while the low desire partner feels pressured and overwhelmed. Because one’s sexuality can say so much about a person’s identity and the health of their relationship, working through these issues in the safety of therapy is often needed to break the sexual and communication logjam. The solutions that may be explored in therapy to address the couple's libido differences depend on the couple's unique situation but may include: clarification of sexual and non-sexual touch, scheduling sex (but not to the complete exclusion of spontaneous sex), experimenting with different frequencies or rhythms for sexual encounters, discussing how to initiate sex and taking turns doing so, practicing how to say “no” to sex without rejecting one’s partner, not pressuring one’s partner when receiving a “no,” and a commitment to rescheduling if a scheduled time doesn’t work out. Communicate more effectively Now! SENSORY ISSUES Studies show that 80% of partners with autism are hyper or hypo sensitive to sensations of sound, taste, sight, touch, smell or pressure. This will surely impact physical intimacy as couples approach each other for sexual contact. Many AS (autism spectrum) partners may become overwhelmed when they are being overstimulated. These sensations can create extreme levels of distress. In this state, the AS partner may lose the ability to explain what is happening, resulting in a meltdown and/or shut down. Thus, it is critical to talk about these issues when the couple is not in a stressful moment, such as in therapy. Also, a partner may feel shame in discussing these topics, like he or she is flawed and not worthy of being in a relationship. Accordingly, in therapy we are careful to approach the subject in a non-blaming or shaming way. By viewing the sensory challenges in the context of neurodiversity and by exploring workarounds together, a couple can begin to experiment with ways to create sensations that feel pleasurable for both partners. COMMUNICATION While communication in day-to-day situations can be a mix of verbal and nonverbal communication, when it comes to sexual activity, the non-verbal component increases exponentially. When non-verbal communication is lacking, sex can be experienced as mechanical, unfulfilling, frustrating and/or disconnected. We have found that AS (Autism Spectrum) and NT (Neurotypical) partners can bridge the non-verbal communication gap by slowing down the communication and being intentional about their needs and desires before, during, and after sex. In therapy we introduce take-home exercises that increase eye contact and make it OK to ask about body language if it is not understood. Additionally, the couple is invited to verbalize what may otherwise be spoken non-verbally. In other words, the couple is invited to substitute clear and direct communication for non-verbal language. Further, “code words” or “safety words” are established in therapy and can be used during sexual encounters to avoid painful triggers or boundary violations. Many couples feel greatly relieved by the addition of concrete language to their sex lives as it usually results in the ultimate satisfaction of long-neglected sexual wants and desires. EXPERIENCE LEVELS Many autistic partners have had difficulty connecting sexually with others in their lives before meeting their current partner. Delayed hormonal development during puberty may have been a contributing factor. Also, challenges in building friendships, a time-consuming special interest, or a fear around meeting new people may have limited the AS partner’s prior sexual experiences. Even worse, the autistic partner may have had negative sexual experiences that caused deep emotional wounds. As a result, the autistic partner may have a distorted view of the expectations of a romantic relationship, one that is based on movies and books rather than real-life experiences. Of course, all of the challenges could be equally true for the NT partner. In therapy, we may suggest individual sessions to explore a partner’s sexual history to begin healing wounds that may have occurred in the past. And when the couple is ready, these issues can be addressed in couples therapy where the couple heals together and jointly creates clear and realistic sexual expectations based on a deeper understanding of each other. THINGS TO CONSIDER DEFINE SEX We also work with couples to consider how narrow or broad their view of sex is. For example, the AS (Autism Spectrum) partner may focus exclusively on sexual intercourse while the NT (Neurotypical) partner has a more expansive view of sexual connection; whereby sex may include a touch on the shoulder after dinner, flirting during the day, a provocative text, foreplay, and spending time in the bed talking after sexual intercourse. Furthermore, neurodiversity may impact gender identification and sexual preferences in nuanced ways that should be discussed with great care. Exploring each partner's view of sex within the safe confines of therapy can help the couple understand each other in new ways, reset expectations, and create an openness to new ways to sexually connect. ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT Sexual enjoyment will rapidly decrease if one partner does not want to be there. An AS partner, especially a AS female, may struggle with saying “no” to sex if she feels overwhelmed by the sensory input of the sexual experience. Furthermore, an AS partner may view sex as a “task to be performed” and not appreciate the bonding opportunity or not understand why the reluctant partner is saying "no." In therapy, we work hard to make room for both partners to express what they are experiencing and to create an atmosphere where sex only takes place when both partners enthusiastically consent. YOU VS. ME Because it may not be natural for the AS partner to put him or herself in his partner’s shoes, it may be easy for him to focus on his own needs and neglect his partner’s needs. However, if this issue is brought to the forefront without criticism, the AS partner may be willing to go to great lengths to please his partner. In therapy, we will create opportunities to shift focus from self to the partner and do so in a loving way. EMOTIONAL INTIMACY A relationship struggling with misunderstanding, frustration, anger, and disappointment in non-sexual areas will often find sex unfulfilling. Usually, one’s body will involuntarily shut down if there is little or no emotional connection. For this reason, in therapy, we work first to reestablish emotional safety before exploring sexual reconnection. YOUR BODY It is important to understand that there are two categories of issues that arise in sex therapy: Sexualized Issue: This is a non-sex related issue that shows up in the bedroom. Most of the issues listed above are good examples of a problem that is rooted in emotions or thinking that is impacting sex. Physical Sex issue: We will talk to you about physical issues such as vulvodynia or impotence due to radiation for prostate cancer. We will then recommend that you seek out a medical specialist for a full evaluation. Then we will work in tandem with the medical specialist to find ways to have the best sex life possible given the medical condition. Doing so, helps reduce the shame and blame that usually accompany having a medical issue that impacts one's sexual relationship. PRACTICAL STEPS Here are some of the practical steps that are introduced in therapy that may help neurodiverse couples: Agree on what non-sexual touch is and is not, and be clear about what communication is needed to go beyond non-sexual touch. Practice phrases to express sexual likes and dislikes. Practice asking your partner what he or she likes. Practice using a 1 to 10 scale to communicate the level of sensations and how much you like something. Negotiate a schedule for sex with a beginning and end time. Learn how your partner likes to be approached for sex. Practice how to say “no” when approached for sex. Agree that the sex does not end immediately after intercourse. Discuss what each person would like to have happen during sex. Break it down step by step. Talk about what happens when someone wants to explore something new or different. Discuss boundaries and what is off-limits. Find code or safety words if either partner feels a boundary is crossed, sensations are being over-stimulated, if a partner is feeling overwhelmed, or if consent is being withdrawn. Practice using the code words. Have all of the discussions listed above when not engaged sexually and when both partners are focused on the conversation with little or no distracting sensory input. Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Additional Support Options: Sex Addiction NEW PATH SEX ADDICTION THERAPY While not exclusive to neurodiverse couples, compulsive sexual behavior or the impact of betrayal can add another layer of complexity to an already challenging relationship dynamic. If this is part of your experience, our partner site offers specialized support for individuals and couples navigating sex addiction, betrayal trauma, and related concerns. Rather than placing you in a one-size-fits-all program, we use an integrated therapy model that brings together individual therapists, couples specialists, and partner support coordinators to address every layer of your situation. You can learn more here if this resonates with what you’re going through. New Path Sex Addiction Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Learn how rejection sensitivity shapes your relationship. Available in two versions: an interactive version and a plain-text version for screen readers. Prefer plain text? The version below is optimized for screen readers and voice to text. RSD Couples Screener This page comes in two versions: an interactive version above that you move through on screen, and this plain-text version below. Both cover the same information. This short, private screener looks at how sensitivity to rejection or criticism may be showing up between you and your partner. It takes about 5 to 7 minutes. Read More Before You Start Are you taking this on your own, or together with your partner? (On my own / Together with my partner) Who would you like to measure? (Me / My Partner) If you take it together: Both partners measure the same person: one answers in the self (inside) voice, the other in the partner (outside) voice. Results compare the inside view against the outside view of that same person, and highlight where they align or diverge. What This Screener Looks At Bracing for Rejection How much one partner anticipates rejection or disappointment before it happens. How Criticism Lands How intensely feedback or comments are experienced as criticism. When Emotions Flood How quickly and strongly emotions rise after feeling rejected, and how hard they are to settle. Pulling Away How much someone withdraws, goes quiet, or holds back to avoid feeling rejected. What Your Score Means Each of the four areas is scored from 6 to 30, and the four area scores add up to a total ranging from 24 to 120. Higher scores mean more rejection-driven strain in the relationship. Bands for each area 6 to 14 = Rarely a flashpoint 15 to 22 = Sometimes a flashpoint 23 to 30 = Often a flashpoint What the bands mean Bracing for Rejection Rarely a flashpoint: Neither of you spends much energy bracing for rejection here, which leaves more room to relax with each other. Sometimes a flashpoint: There's a fair amount of anticipating disappointment before it happens, which can put a low hum of tension under everyday moments. Often a flashpoint: A lot of energy goes into expecting rejection before it happens, which can make even neutral moments feel loaded for the relationship. How Criticism Lands Rarely a flashpoint: Feedback tends to land as feedback, not as an attack, so hard conversations are easier to have. Sometimes a flashpoint: Feedback sometimes lands harder than intended, which can make honest conversations feel risky between you. Often a flashpoint: Even gentle feedback tends to land as criticism, which can make it hard to raise anything without it stinging. When Emotions Flood Rarely a flashpoint: Upsets tend to settle without flooding, so disagreements are less likely to spiral. Sometimes a flashpoint: Emotions can rise quickly in tense moments and take a while to settle, which can stretch out conflicts. Often a flashpoint: Emotions can flood fast and stay high after feeling rejected, which can make conflicts intense and slow to repair. Pulling Away Rarely a flashpoint: Closeness holds up under stress, with little need to withdraw to feel safe. Sometimes a flashpoint: There's some pulling back or going quiet to stay safe, which can create distance over time. Often a flashpoint: Withdrawing or going silent to avoid rejection seems common, which can leave the relationship feeling disconnected. Total bands 24 to 55 = A Steady Footing Rejection sensitivity doesn't seem to be driving much friction between you right now. A few moments may still be worth a gentle conversation, but the relationship has a steady footing to build on. 56 to 87 = Worth Talking About There are some recurring moments where fear of rejection seems to spark tension between you. None of this is a diagnosis or a verdict on either person; these are patterns worth talking about together so they create less strain. 88 to 120 = A Lot Worth Exploring Together Rejection-driven reactions seem to be a frequent source of strain in the relationship right now. This isn't about anyone being broken; it points to patterns that many couples find easier to shift with support from a neurodiversity-affirming therapist. A Note on What This Is This screener is for reflection and conversation, not diagnosis. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is a widely discussed idea, but it is not a formal diagnosis in the DSM-5. Your score is a snapshot of how rejection sensitivity may be affecting your relationship right now, not a measure of a medical condition or a verdict on either partner. If these patterns are affecting your wellbeing, a neurodiversity-affirming clinician can help. These reflections are conversation starters, not conclusions. The areas above are good places to compare notes with each other, and, if it helps, with a neurodiversity-affirming therapist.

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< Back Specialties and Certifications Neurodiverse Couples General Couples Therapy Depression and Anxiety Christian Couples Counseling Affair Recovery Parenting Grief Life Experience J oyfully married for 20 years, with a relationship that's grown stronger through dedication and mutual support, and a proud father to my young adult daughter. Over 25 years of work in non-profit organizations including urban youth, churches, and schools Adjunct graduate school professor teaching courses on the integration of psychology and spirituality Earlier career in the hospitality and semiconductor industries Education in psychology, theology, and spirituality at the Master & Doctoral levels About Dan Daniel Chung has over twenty years of wide-ranging experience working with people in all stages of life. He is a creative, dedicated therapist who is passionate about helping individuals, couples, and families by coming alongside them, listening with empathy, helping to make sense of their concerns and needs, and providing vital tools to grow and thrive in life. Daniel focuses on providing a safe, nurturing, and judgment-free space that enables clients to heal and positively progress by fostering their agency to empower them to leverage their positive qualities toward lasting, satisfying, and harmonious relationships. He believes in holistic healing toward emotional, spiritual, and relational wellness that activates the mind, body, and spirit, and usher into deeper self-realization, purposeful living, better conflict management, and healthier coping skills over stress and grief. Neurodiverse Relationships Understanding the Neurodiverse Pain and Peace Cycles 💡 In neurodiverse relationships, the Pain Cycle can be especially challenging, as differences in communication styles, emotional expression, and sensory needs often amplify misunderstandings. Daniel helps couples recognize and interrupt these destructive cycles by: Identifying neurodiversity-related triggers that lead to feelings of blame, shame, or isolation. Bridging communication gaps by teaching partners to translate their emotional needs into language that both neurodivergent and neurotypical partners can understand. With his guidance, couples move toward the Peace Cycle, fostering trust, safety, and connection by: Developing shared tools for calm, respectful interactions that honor each partner’s unique needs. Building habits of empathetic listening to navigate differences without judgment or frustration. By teaching couples how to understand and manage their pain and peace cycles through a neurodiverse lens, Daniel equips them to deepen their relationship and embrace each other’s strengths. Enhancing Connection through Neurodiverse Collaboration 🤝 Daniel’s trauma-informed and client-centered approach creates a safe space for neurodiverse couples to explore their unique dynamics. He empowers couples to grow through: Open conversations about neurodiversity , helping partners express their needs and challenges in a non-critical environment. Practicing vulnerability , especially for neurodivergent partners who may find expressing emotions or needs more complex. By fostering collaboration, Daniel helps couples: Set realistic, shared goals that accommodate neurodiverse needs. Strengthen their relationship through teamwork, building a resilient partnership that honors each individual’s contributions. Through his compassionate guidance, neurodiverse couples gain the skills to navigate their differences and cultivate a relationship grounded in mutual respect and understanding. Navigating the Unique Challenges of Neurodiverse Relationships 🌟 For neurodiverse couples, challenges often arise from differences in how partners process and express emotions, manage sensory input, or approach social interactions. Daniel helps couples by: Promoting self-awareness : Encouraging neurodivergent partners to understand how their sensory sensitivities or executive functioning differences impact the relationship, while helping neurotypical partners appreciate these unique perspectives. Focusing on strengths : Highlighting the unique skills and insights each partner brings to the relationship. Providing practical strategies : Offering tailored tools to help neurodiverse couples navigate everyday challenges, such as managing overstimulation or scheduling meaningful quality time. Daniel believes that by embracing neurodiversity, couples can turn perceived obstacles into opportunities for growth and connection. Dan's Neuro-Informed Therapeutic Approach Daniel’s therapeutic approach is neuro-informed, trauma-sensitive, and client-centered , supporting clients in their healing journey while honoring the unique needs of neurodivergent individuals and their partners. He creates a working alliance rooted in empathy, acceptance, openness, and flexibility, ensuring that the therapeutic process is accessible and tailored to diverse neurodiverse experiences. Daniel’s work is informed by his deep understanding of how neurodiversity intersects with emotional and relational patterns. He provides tools and strategies that are practical and sensitive to sensory, communication, and executive functioning differences. Having worked with clients from diverse cultures, ethnicities, and neurodiverse profiles, Daniel relates to clients with authenticity, compassion, humility, and sensitivity. He strives to create a safe and empowering space where all clients feel seen, understood, and supported. My Therapeutic Modalities Daniel incorporates the following neuro-informed approaches into his work: Trauma-Informed Therapy : Acknowledging how trauma manifests differently in neurodivergent individuals and tailoring interventions accordingly. Restoration Therapy : Helping clients recognize and reshape destructive relational cycles, particularly those impacted by neurodiverse dynamics. Emotion-Focused Therapy : Supporting partners in expressing and interpreting emotions in ways that bridge neurodiverse communication styles. Brief Solution-Focused Therapy : Offering actionable, goal-oriented strategies that align with each client’s cognitive and sensory preferences. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) : Adapting CBT techniques to accommodate the thought processes and learning styles of neurodiverse individuals. Experiential Therapy : Using creative, hands-on techniques that honor sensory needs and promote meaningful emotional exploration. Adult Autism & ADHD Assessments Daniel specializes in providing neurodiversity-supportive assessments and therapeutic services designed to help individuals reach their full potential. His comprehensive approach includes administering questionnaires, engaging in discussions, making observations, and using tools such as the MIDAS-2 and SRS-2 for Autism, as well as the CAARS and Brown EF/A scales for ADHD. Daniel works collaboratively with clients to explore their unique traits and understand the value of a diagnosis in fostering success and fulfillment. Daniel also offers guidance, resources, and support to individuals and their families throughout the assessment process. By taking a holistic view, he identifies each person’s strengths and challenges from multiple perspectives. His goal is to serve as an ally, helping clients navigate the assessment journey and discover pathways to growth, progress, and lasting change. In his experience, Daniel’s clients have found the assessment process to be a transformative opportunity for self-discovery, leading to greater understanding and acceptance of themselves and fostering empathy in their relationships. Whether confirming or ruling out a diagnosis, Daniel emphasizes that neurodiversity is not a defect but a unique set of traits accompanied by gifts and areas for growth. With the right tools, clients can build essential skills to improve social, professional, and personal relationships. Clients Couples Individuals Families Adults Adolescents License Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapy #149769 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc. Specialty Areas: Emotion Focused Therapy, Neurodiverse Couples, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Christian, Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Emotional Intimacy, Assessment, Communication, Not Accepting New Clients, Autism, AuDHD, Emotional Regulation, Family Conflict, General Couples Coaching, Life Transitions, Attachment Daniel Chung Take an Autism Test

< Back Tamala Takahashi Not accepting new clients See our other clinicians or Fill our our contact form to get matched About Tamala: Hi there! I was late-diagnosed ADHD (inattentive) at age 49. Two of my three adult children were also diagnosed with ADHD in their late teens/early 20’s. My oldest child is undiagnosed, however they are likely autistic/ADHD as well. My husband of 27 years is late-diagnosed with AuDHD (at age 48). After a fulfilling first career in nonprofit consulting, I decided to focus on helping couples heal and grow in their relationships. Today, I specialize in guiding couples to reconnect, improve communication, and build healthier, more fulfilling partnerships. I am sharing this with you because I believe it will help me understand and support you. I look forward to hearing from you. Navigating Neurodiverse Relationships Neurodiverse couples work is about building communication and coping skills that work best in this particular relationship while maintaining one’s autonomy and individual self. In neurodiverse relationships, clients may have difficulty understanding each other, may be unsure what is OK and not OK to do or say, may feel lonely or annoyed, and may feel like fights and conversations continue to go around and around without resolution. My goal with couples is to meet both individuals where they are at and to assist each individual identify their needs and wants, articulate them, and respond when their partner does the same. The couple decides where they want to go with the relationship and works best for them. And in this process, I hold space, grace, and validation for each individual’s experience in how they process the world as well as the emotional lessons they have learned from their past. You Are NOT Alone The neurodiverse experience can feel lonely. Whether you are neurodiverse or have a neurodiverse partner/family member, it can feel like you are expected to behave a certain way and say certain things, or that no matter how hard you try, you can’t do it right. Maybe you feel like there are things that just don’t make sense but nobody else can see it. That struggle can feel so lonely. My intention in therapy is to provide a space where you are no longer alone. Whether in couples or individual therapy, I am there to support you and hold space for your lived experiences. You Can Do This You have made it to this moment. Congratulations! But I’m guessing those coping skills you developed aren’t working as well anymore and you’re looking for something to help navigate life and relationships. The good news is that you can learn new skills that are more appropriate to your life now. You did it before, and you can do it again. I believe all of us have the capacity to heal and improve our inner lives. That said, it can sometimes be difficult to do this work alone, let alone know what to do at all. That’s where therapy can be a bridge to confidence and a calmer inner world . When humans work together interdependently, we can go further and do better than we can do alone. My position as a therapist is to support my clients in this journey to inner strength and groundedness . My Therapeutic Philosophy While it seems like today we have more understanding of (neuro)diversity, more grace and compassion for each other, and more freedom to move about the cabin without masking, we also live in the modern world where we witness folks’ lives on full display to be judged on social media, where we are told we can do anything yet can receive harsh criticism for not being perfect, and where there is a lingering feeling of uncertainty of the future. This mixed messaging can be destabilizing. In addition, our sense of self and perceptions of others are derived from a combination of our personal experiences (including trauma and triumphs), what we learned from our caretakers, the lessons from other authority figures, society’s messages, and our neurobiology. This mixture is unique to each individual. How we process information therefore has an impact on how we perceive and interact with ourselves and others. I believe a therapist’s role is to provide stability while the client(s) works through uncertainty, reality checks the lessons they learned in life, tries something new, and finds a healthy path to what it looks like for them to be grounded. The specifics will look different for each client(s), but all sessions are built around the principles of acceptance, patience, and kindness. I work collaboratively with the client(s) to identify areas of focus and what works best for them from their perspective. In our 50-min. sessions, therapy goals are usually a combination of gaining clarity, self-awareness, self-compassion, and coping skills. When working with couples or families, communication skills are a significant part of the work as well . Areas of focus Adult diagnosed/suspected ADHD/Autism/AuDHD ADHD/AuDHD with anxiety and depression Women/Non-binary with ADHD/AuDHD cPTSD and Trauma Adolescent diagnosed/suspected ADHD/Autism/AuDHD Parents of adolescent/adult neurodiverse children Childhood emotional neglect/emotional abuse Adult neurodiverse relationships with parents and other family members Empty nest/menopause transitions Multi-cultural relationships/families Intersection of neurodiversity and LGBTQ+ Young adult launching (college, early career, living away from parents, adult relationships) Self Esteem and Assertiveness Social media/video game addiction Religious/cult abuse recovery Modalities Client-centered Therapy Trauma Informed Therapy (CTP certified) Solution Focused Therapy Strengths-Based Approach Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) Somatic Therapy for Trauma Tarot Therapy Positive Psychology Relationship Anarchy approach: anti-hierarchical practices (everyone in the relationship is equal) anti-normativity (every relationship’s success criteria is unique to them) interdependency (partners can share feelings and needs openly and safely) individual autonomy (each partner is a complete human on their own) License & Certifications Registered Associate Marriage Family Therapist, AMFT Registered Professional Clinical Counselor Certified Trauma Professional (CTP) Education Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology, Antioch University of Los Angeles Employment Information Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc . Specialty Areas: Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Neurodiverse Couples, Autism, Sex/Physical Intimacy, Teens, ADHD, Emotional Intimacy, Communication, Not Accepting New Clients, Attachment, AuDHD, LGBTQIA+, Trauma Tamala Takahashi Take an Autism Test

< Back Shea Davis, AMFT Therapist for Neurodivergent Couples, Individuals, and Families Neurodivergent connection thrives when it’s understood on its own terms. I help individuals and couples uncover what makes their relationships work—not in spite of their differences, but because of them. My Story Is the Foundation of My Work A Long-Term Neurodiverse Marriage. I didn’t come to this work by accident— I lived it long before I trained for it. For 24 years, I was married to a neurodivergent partner in a relationship filled with both deep connection and constant misunderstanding . We loved each other, but our wiring didn’t always match—and that mismatch shaped everything from how we handled conflict to how we expressed love. I know firsthand what it feels like to be in a relationship where you’re trying your hardest, but somehow still missing each other. Parenting a Neurodivergent Child I’m also the mother of two children , now 29 and 22, including a neurodivergent son who struggled deeply in traditional systems. As a parent, I was often the translator—advocating, soothing, interpreting, and holding space for a child whose brilliance the world couldn’t always see. That experience taught me the importance of co-regulation, flexibility , and finding ways to honor a child’s nervous system, not fight against it. Recovery from Addiction and Trauma And I’ve lived through collapse and rebuilding. Years ago, I walked into a 12-step meeting broken by addiction, emotional pain , and a lifetime of pushing through instead of healing. Recovery didn’t just help me get sober—it helped me reclaim my voice, learn boundaries, and rebuild relationships based on mutual safety and respect. That process of healing, integrating, and re-emerging is the lens I bring to every therapy session. Life After Betrayal and Emotional Neglect I’ve navigated betrayal, financial infidelity, and the quiet ache of emotional neglect. I’ve also felt the hope of starting over—as a single mother, as a woman in long-term recovery, and as a partner learning to love again after rupture. My blended family has been one of my greatest teachers. I understand the complications of co-parenting, the grief of unmet expectations, and the beauty that can emerge when people commit to doing things differently, even when it's hard. Working with Neurodiverse Couples Much of my clinical focus is shaped by my own long-term relationship with a neurodivergent partner. I’ve lived through the beautiful highs and painful disconnects that can come when two people with different processing styles, emotional languages, and nervous systems try to build a life together. In that relationship, we often found ourselves stuck in patterns we didn’t understand. I’d long for emotional attunement while he sought logical solutions. I’d press for closeness during conflict; he’d retreat to manage overwhelm. Over time, we developed workarounds, built shared language, and grew in our awareness—but not without struggle. Those experiences inform the way I work with couples today. Neurodiverse relationships often look confusing from the outside—and feel lonely on the inside. One partner might seek verbal connection, while the other prefers action. One might shut down under stress, while the other presses in, desperate for clarity. These dynamics aren’t about a lack of love —they’re about different operating systems . In our work together, I help you: Understand the neurology beneath the behavior Slow down reactive cycles and shift from blame to curiosity Rebuild emotional safety after chronic misattunement or betrayal Learn new ways to communicate that actually land with your partner Navigate sensory, pacing, and executive functioning differences Reimagine intimacy and connection on your terms—not the world’s I integrate Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), polyvagal theory, trauma-informed care, and structured communication tools from the Gottman Method. My goal is to help you feel seen, safe, and better equipped to relate —even when things are hard. Parenting Through a Neurodivergent Lens When I was raising my son—especially during his most difficult years—I often felt like I was operating without a roadmap. The strategies other parents used didn’t work for us. He needed something different: less pressure, more regulation support, and a deep commitment to understanding his nervous system. I had to learn how to show up in ways that were both nurturing and flexible, even when I felt depleted myself. As a therapist, I bring this lived experience into the room. I understand how isolating it can feel to be the one holding everything together—to be the parent who understands what the school system doesn’t, who translates your child’s needs to extended family, and who navigates the tension between advocacy and acceptance. I support parents who are: Co-regulating with differently wired kids while staying regulated themselves Navigating shutdowns, sensory overload, and burnout—on both sides Co-parenting after divorce or in blended family systems Wrestling with grief over unmet expectations Trying to break harmful patterns while creating new family rhythms You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be open to learning—and I’ll walk beside you as you do. Support for Blended Families When my marriage ended and I stepped into the world of co-parenting and step-parenting, I quickly realized that blending a family isn’t about forcing connection—it’s about creating space for each person’s story. Add neurodivergence to the mix, and the need for flexibility, empathy, and honest communication only grows. In my own blended family, we had to re-learn how to listen to each other . We had to acknowledge sensory needs, adjust expectations around emotional expression, and recognize that some members of the family processed grief or change much more slowly—or more intensely—than others. There was no one-size-fits-all approach. As someone who has built and lived in a blended family with neurodivergent members, I support: Step-parenting roles and boundaries that evolve over time Navigating loyalty binds and emotional shifts with compassion and clarity Repairing ruptures in co-parenting or ex-spouse dynamics Helping new partners understand neurodivergent kids and their unique wiring Developing shared rituals and rhythms that work for your family’s actual neurobiology Blended doesn’t mean broken. Neurodivergence doesn’t mean incompatible. Together, we can create something flexible, respectful, and uniquely yours. Working with Addiction and Neurodivergence My recovery journey began with hitting rock bottom—and then learning to rebuild a life from the inside out. For me, addiction wasn’t just about substances. It was about managing overwhelm, avoiding emotional pain, and trying to cope in a world that often felt too intense. As I later came to understand more about neurodivergence, it became clear how intertwined the two could be . Many neurodivergent individuals develop addictive behaviors as a way to soothe sensory overload, mask social confusion, or cope with chronic rejection . And unfortunately, many recovery spaces aren’t built to hold that complexity. In my work with clients at this intersection, I help you: Identify the neurodivergent roots of addictive behaviors Explore sensory-friendly and emotionally attuned recovery strategies Navigate recovery spaces that may feel rigid, triggering, or misaligned Manage co-occurring challenges like executive dysfunction or trauma Build sustainable recovery that makes space for your full self You don’t need to choose between being seen as someone in recovery or someone who’s neurodivergent. I’ll help you hold both—without shame. Who I Work With Neurodivergent adults (diagnosed or self-identified) Neurodiverse couples (ND/NT or ND/ND) Partners of autistic or ADHD individuals Parents of neurodivergent children Adults in recovery from addiction, betrayal trauma, or relational chaos Individuals navigating blended family dynamics and second-chapter relationships What I Bring I bring the lived experience of neurodivergence, depression, anxiety, and addiction. I bring decades of parenting through challenge, the insight of a long-term neurodiverse marriage, and the resilience of someone who’s rebuilt from the ground up. My therapy room is a space where you don’t have to perform, explain, or justify how your brain works. You get to be fully yourself—and that’s where real change begins. License & Employment Information Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #154799 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Neurodiverse Couples, Cassandra Syndrome, Communication, IFS, Addiction, Trauma, Blended Families, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Accepting New Individual Clients Only, Betrayal/Affair Recovery, ADHD, Attachment, Divorce, Discernment, Emotion Focused Therapy, General Couples Coaching, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Shea Davis Take an Autism Test

< Back Relationships can be challenging, and for neurodiverse couples, those challenges often come with unique layers of complexity. But here’s the good news—you don’t have to face them alone. For over 40 years, I’ve been in a neurodiverse relationship with my high school sweetheart. Together, we’ve navigated grief and loss, financial storms, and health crises, and we even separated for two years. My personal experience and advanced clinical training in counseling psychology equip me with a deep understanding of the joys and hurdles neurodiverse couples face. If you feel your relationship is on shaky ground due to neurodiversity, I’m here to help. Tackling Common Neurodiverse Relationship Challenges One of the most common patterns I see in therapy is communication struggles . Misunderstandings can escalate quickly when partners don’t know how to express their needs or interpret each other’s cues. I help couples identify the roadblocks in their communication and introduce strategies like active listening, open needs-sharing, and negotiation that pave the way for deeper understanding. Another frequent challenge is balancing emotional regulation . One partner may feel constantly overwhelmed or anxious while the other seems far more relaxed, creating a divide in how emotions are handled. Together, we’ll work on finding a middle ground—creating space for feelings without constantly trying to “fix” each other. “We are born in a relationship, we are wounded in a relationship, and we can be healed in a relationship.” --Harville Hendrix And then, there are the triggers . No relationship is immune to them, but in neurodiverse relationships, these triggers can be heightened, especially due to sensory issues. We’ll explore ways to identify each partner’s triggers and develop techniques to reduce overstimulation. Whether it’s through setting boundaries, creating calming routines, or practicing grounding exercises, we’ll find tools that work for you. In addition to weekly or twice-a-month therapy sessions, I also offer Couples Retreats and Intensives and ASD and ADHD Assessments. Couples Retreats & Intensives Struggling in your relationship? It’s time to take action. My couples intensives are designed to help you and your partner reconnect, heal, and move forward—quickly and effectively. Unlike traditional therapy, which can stretch over months or even years, intensives deliver meaningful progress in just a matter of days. Through a blend of evidence-based therapeutic techniques and intuitive guidance, you’ll work with me in person or over Zoom in a focused, immersive environment. Whether you’re facing the pain of trauma, stuck in unhealthy patterns, or standing at the edge of separation, these sessions provide a clear path forward. ASD & ADHD Assessments Neurodivergence is part of who you are. For clarity, neurodiversity-affirming assessments unveil strengths and foster growth, helping individuals thrive in a world that often misunderstands Autism and ADHD. I use this thorough, personalized process utilizing tools like MIDAS-2 and SRS-2 for Autism and CAARS and Brown EF/A scales for ADHD, alongside interviews and evaluations for meaningful results. It’s not just a diagnosis but a gateway to self-understanding and empowerment. Recognizing the challenges faced by neurodivergent adults, this approach celebrates individuality, unlocking potential, enhancing communication, and building social confidence. The goal is to help people feel seen and understood in daily life. These assessments aim to offer what many have wished for during their journeys by providing support that often feels out of reach. This process can be a transformative first step for those ready to pursue clarity and empowerment. Why I’m Different I’m Barbara Lazarony, but everyone calls me Blaze. I bring more than theoretical knowledge—I’ve lived this experience. My personal insights as someone in a neurodiverse relationship, combined with evidence-based therapeutic approaches, create a unique space for couples to thrive. Every couple’s story is different, and I’m here to honor yours. It’s not just about managing conflict—it’s about building a foundation of patience, love, and mutual understanding. My Back Story I'm a mature adult living out my third career; my first role was working in retail for twenty years, where I mentored executives and managed $2.5 billion in sales across 42 locations in the United States. I was uber-successful with a sassy job title and a large office overlooking Market Street in San Francisco. I loved it! But, little did I know back then that I was an overachieving workaholic, and the signs that my health was an issue couldn’t be ignored any longer. In 2003, I was told I had thyroid cancer, and I decided to resign from my job. Those were dark times for me; in addition to cancer, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). It was a journey, and I sought support from modern and holistic medicine, along with help from fantastic therapists and coaches. The truth was, I had no idea who I was or what I wanted out of life beyond my job title. As I was healing from cancer, I earned an Advanced Certified Integral Coach certification and started my own business. I loved being a coach for eighteen years but realized I could not help people achieve long-lasting success, fulfillment, and healing because I didn’t have the skills, training, and knowledge to get to the root of the issues holding them back. To support people in the way I wanted to, I decided to go to graduate school at the age of fifty-three and earn my Master's degree in Counseling Psychology. Since finishing my degree and earning my LMFT, I have navigated different types of cancer twice and supported my life partner through his cancer journey. And sadly, no one in the medical profession told me I had both an acquired and genetic form of neurodiversity; it took me a while to discover that my brain was wired differently. I know what it feels like to be different from everyone else! I am someone who understands the deep well of trauma and grief that needs to be acknowledged and validated in therapy. So, Enough About Me, Let's Talk About You... If you and your partner are navigating the challenges of a neurodiverse relationship, reach out today. You deserve a fulfilling and strong relationship, no matter what life throws your way. We’ll work toward clear communication, deeper connection, and lasting love. You’re not alone—I’m ready to guide you on this path. Specialties and Certifications Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist 151788 Neurodiverse Couples Specialist Certified Autism & ADHD Assessment Specialist Advanced Certified Trauma Specialist Advanced Certified Integral Coach Brainspotting Certified-Level I & II Life Experience Has personal experience in multiple neurodiverse relationships Worked with thousands of people as a Coach, Manager, Leader, and Mentor Former careers as an Executive and Business Coach, Executive Director in a non-profit, and Senior Director in retail-coaching people, as well as managing staffing operations and finances Education Bachelor of Science in Home Economics, Fashion Merchandising, The Ohio State University Master of Science in Clinical Psychology, Sofia University, also earned a Certificate in Creative Expression. More about Barbara (Blaze) Diagnosed as Neurodiverse 20 years ago Offers Neurodiverse Couples Retreats Married for 35+ years to her high school sweetheart, together for 40 years Cancer Survivor -3 times! Specialty Areas: Assessment, Sex/Physical Intimacy, Kink/Poly-Affirmed, Discernment, Neurodiverse Couples, Autism, Cassandra Syndrome, Couples Retreats/Intensives, Brainspotting, Emotional Intimacy, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Blaze Lazarony Take an Autism Test

< Back Colleen Kahn Not accepting new clients See our other clinicians or Fill our our contact form to get matched Welcome, I am so delighted you are here. My Passion for Neurodiverse Couples I am dedicated to helping neurodiverse couples find a new way to love and appreciate each other. Understanding Neurodiversity First, let me cover the basic terms. A neurodiverse relationship is where at least one partner is neurodivergent (Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, Down’s Syndrome...). This means that you and your partner are different; not better or worse. Neurodiversity may be a new concept for you. Maybe it's what you have been searching for but didn't know. It may be an awakening to the difficulties you have been experiencing in your relationship but could not quite articulate. In fact, many neurodivergent adults have gone undiagnosed for most of their lives. Neurodivergent is “the idea that people experience and interact with the world around them in different ways; there is no ‘right’ way of thinking, learning and behaving, and differences are not viewed as deficits,” according to Harvard Health. Please know that I recognize the distinct challenges you face. My personal experience has provided me with a first-hand rich understanding of the intricacies of neurodiversity. Communication Struggles Neurodiverse couples often struggle with communication breakdowns . The neurotypical partner may struggle to understand the neurodivergent partner's unique needs. The neurodivergent partner may face challenges with ADHD/Autism in expressing themselves in a way that resonates with their neurotypical partner. This two-sided communication breakdown is called the double empathy problem. Understanding this helps reduce blaming one person for the problem. This is the tip of the iceberg so to speak and one of many issues that you may be dealing with. I truly understand the frustrations that can arise. A Safe Place for Healing I am here to provide a safe and understanding space for you to explore your issues and relationship. My therapeutic approach offers a clear road map that emphasizes: fostering mutual understanding and compassion, enhancing communication skills, providing exercises and tools that you can work on separately and together, and embracing the unique strengths that each partner brings to relationships. Neurotypical Partners (Cassandra Syndrome) My journey is not just a professional one but also deeply personal. If you are in a relationship with a neurodivergent partner, it may feel isolating, frustrating, and exhausting. You may spend a lot of time and energy trying to make sense of your partner's behaviors and your reactions. You may seek books, podcasts, or any article to understand why your relationship is different. You may feel misunderstood, isolated, disconnected, and hopeless. I have been there. I have been married for 19 years. Every experience is unique. You are so special. You deserve to be seen and heard. Supporting Autism and Cancer: I recognize the importance of a compassionate, supportive ally for autistic individuals who have been diagnosed with cancer. I had the honor and privilege to work bedside with neurodivergent pediatric oncology patients and their families at Stanford Children’s Hospital. My firsthand experience at Stanford, expertise in supporting neurodivergent individuals, and being a stage four cancer survivor myself allows me to be a source of comfort and strength on the path to healing. I am here to provide a trusted environment that acknowledges and addresses your unique needs when facing a cancer diagnosis. You can read more about Cancer and Autism by clicking here . About Me: I bring a unique blend of professional expertise, passion and personal experience to my practice. I am a proud mother of two sensationally strong willed teenagers. I am also a former software engineer turned therapist. My journey took a fascinating turn from the world of coding to the intricate landscapes of the human mind. I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communications and forged a successful IT career starting at Apple Computers. My love of learning led me into engineering and product management. I became the first female self-taught software engineer at Alcatel TeleCommunications. My team dubbed me the engineer whisperer. I was the essential communication bridge between our neurodiverse engineering team and our neurotypical sales and marketing team. I eventually learned that my heart yearned for something more – a meaningful connection with people and the opportunity to contribute to their lives in a significant way. Driven by my desire to help others, I embarked on a transformative path towards becoming a therapist and returned to school. I received my Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy and Art Therapy from Notre Dame de Namur University. While in school, I cultivated my passion for mental health and overall well-being. How I Work: My therapeutic neuro-informed approach covers a broad range of modalities. I tailor each session to meet the unique needs of each couple. My work is rooted in a client-centered, humanistic approach emphasizing compassion, building understanding, inclusive communication, empowerment with respect and dignity. In our sessions, we'll work on enhancing your relationship through mindfulness and effective communication. Let's navigate the challenges together so you can build a stronger, more connected partnership. Other areas of focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): Adolescent Counseling Art Therapy Caregiver Support Co-Parenting Couples Counseling Cancer Support Divorce Recovery Infertility Individual Counseling Life Transitions Neurodiversity New Parents Parent Coaching Teen Counseling Clients Couples Individuals Families License & Certifications Registered Associate, MFTA #324701 Board Certified Art Therapist (ATR-BC) Neurodiversity Specialist Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc . Specialty Areas: Cassandra Syndrome, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Teens, Neurodiverse Couples, Communication, Not Accepting New Clients Colleen Kahn Take an Autism Test

< Back Maring Higa, Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist | Neurodiverse Couples Specialist 💛 Lived Experience Shapes the Way I Work I know what it’s like to fight for connection—and to finally find it, in a way that feels real, earned, and deeply alive. Earlier in life, I was in a neurodiverse marriage that ended in divorce. It was a relationship filled with both love and difficulty, and navigating the differences in communication, processing, and emotional rhythms taught me more than any training ever could. That experience was humbling and powerful—it cracked me open to what it really means to bridge worlds. I carry forward the insight, empathy, and hard-won clarity I gained from that relationship with deep gratitude. It made me who I am today. Now, I’m over a decade into a new relationship with someone I truly consider my soulmate. But “soulmate” doesn’t mean easy. It means we’re committed to doing the work—especially the work of blending families, healing old wounds, and growing through inevitable friction. We still have our differences. We still stumble. But we keep showing up with curiosity, humility, and care. Having lived through both disconnection and deep repair, I bring a grounded, compassionate hope to couples who are struggling. I don’t offer quick fixes—I offer real tools for real relationships. 🧠 How I Work with Neurodiverse Couples I specialize in helping neurodiverse couples —whether autistic, ADHD, or both—untangle the confusing, painful cycles that often arise when two very different nervous systems and communication styles collide. I don’t see either partner as “the problem.” Instead, I help couples understand how their unique wiring, regulation needs, and processing styles impact the way they connect—or miss each other. Together, we: Slow things down so both people feel safe and heard Shift out of blame and into shared curiosity Build a relational language that works for both neurotypes Learn how to repair misattunements with compassion and intention Respect sensory needs and differences in emotional pacing My approach blends depth and structure. Some of the methods I draw from include: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for co-regulation and secure attachment Imago Therapy for exploring how early wounds shape current conflict Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help each partner access compassion for their own inner world Gottman tools for practical support around communication, rituals, and conflict management Somatic and bioenergetic work to address what's held in the body, not just the mind Every couple is different—and in neurodiverse relationships, that difference is often wider and more profound than in neurotypical ones. That’s not a deficit—it’s just reality. With the right support, it can become a strength. 🌿 The Body Knows—Especially in Neurodiverse Relationships Before I became a therapist, I practiced acupuncture for 17 years. I’ve also trained in somatic healing and bioenergetic therapy, and I bring that deep respect for the body into my work with clients every day. Neurodiverse individuals—especially autistic folks—often live disconnected from their bodies. They may struggle with interoception (the ability to sense what's going on inside) or feel overloaded by sensory input, leading them to numb out or dissociate. Others may live in a state of chronic stress without even realizing it. In my work, I help clients tune back in—gently and safely. Whether through breath, movement, somatic tracking, or body awareness tools , we reconnect to the body not as a “fix,” but as a source of wisdom and regulation. This is especially important in relationships, where the body holds unspoken tension, patterns of shutdown, and the longings we can’t always verbalize. My training and experience include: Acupuncture and holistic bodywork Somatic therapy and bioenergetic release Support for postpartum health and hormonal transitions Women’s health and trauma recovery Personal experience as an athlete, injury survivor, and circus arts performer This embodied lens helps me work with clients whose nervous systems are exhausted, disconnected, or over-activated—especially in the context of neurodiverse relationships. 🌱 Parenting Neurodivergent Children I’m a mom of two amazing kids. My daughter is 9, and my son is 14 and autistic. Parenting a neurodivergent child has taught me more than any book or training ever could. I've come to understand the sensory challenges, the meltdowns, the brilliance, the beauty, and the fatigue. What’s more, I was diagnosed with ADHD later in life, which helped make sense of so many struggles I carried silently as a child—overwhelm, internal shame, and the constant feeling of falling short in a world that didn’t match how I was wired. This personal journey allows me to support other parents—especially those navigating diagnoses, school systems, and the emotional toll of loving a child who may not be understood by the world around them. I walk alongside you not as an expert from afar, but as someone in the trenches who deeply gets it. 👨👩👧👦 Co-Parenting After Separation I’ve lived the real-world challenges of co-parenting —trying to communicate with an ex while staying grounded in your values, protecting your kids' emotional safety, and managing the logistics of schedules, boundaries, and big feelings. Co-parenting can feel impossible at times, especially when there’s unresolved hurt or different parenting philosophies. I work with clients to develop r ealistic, compassionate strategies for communication, boundary-setting, and conflict de-escalation. My goal is to help you shift from power struggles to problem-solving, so your children get the best of both parents. 🏡 Blended Families: A New Blueprint Blending families isn't just about combining households—it’s about building a completely new system with its own rhythms, rituals, and rules. As someone who’s part of a blended family, I know the loyalty binds, the role confusion, and the emotional landmines that can appear unexpectedly. There’s grief for what was, hope for what could be, and lots of tension in the “in between.” I help blended families navigate common challenges like stepparent roles, co-parenting across households, discipline differences, and how to build connection when trust is still forming. Together, we create a new blueprint that honors everyone involved—including the kids. 🎨 And Just for Fun I’m endlessly curious and deeply creative. I love women’s soccer, making music, and getting lost in hands-on projects. I find beauty in the messiness of being human and believe that humor, creativity, and embodiment are essential parts of healing. Education & Clinical Training M.A. in Counseling Psychology (Marriage and Family Therapy) – National University M.S. in Oriental Medicine – Pacific College of Oriental Medicine Certified Bioenergetics Therapist – Southern California Institute of Bioenergetics (in progress) Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #145908 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Trained in: Somatic Therapy & Nervous System Regulation Internal Family Systems (IFS) Trauma-Informed Couples Work Fertility, Pregnancy, and Postpartum Mental Health Women's Health & Holistic Medicine Acupuncture and Embodiment Practices Podcast Creator & Host: The Messy Middle (2016–2021) – Personal growth and emotional healing Body Talk (2024–Present) – Exploring somatic therapy, mind-body connection, and holistic wellness Specialty Areas: Autism, ADHD, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Blended Families, Somatic Therapies, IFS, Trauma, Neurodiverse Couples, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients, Attachment, AuDHD, Communication, Couples Retreats/Intensives, Discernment, Emotion Focused Therapy, Highly Sensitive People (HSP), Multicultural Challenges, Teens, General Couples Coaching, Family Conflict, Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Integrative Spiritual Therapy, Cassandra Syndrome, Emotional Intimacy, Emotional Regulation, Life Transitions Maring Higa Take an Autism Test

< Back About: Dr. Motro has made working with neurodiverse community the centerpiece of his life. He has extensive personal experiences with neurodiversity and believes that typical couples counseling falls far short for neurodiverse couples. Accordingly, he has dedicated his practice to providing life-changing counseling for these special but often misunderstood couples. His background includes the following: he spent his earlier work life in technology and then chose a second career in helping others, he is the founder and clinical director of the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center where he collaborates with other therapists equally dedicated to the neurodiverse community. he has collaborated with his team to develop specialized tools to assist neurodiverse couples, he serves as an adjunct graduate school psychology professor where he has incorporated neurodiverse couples counseling into the teaching curriculum, he is a clinical supervisor of other neurodiverse couples therapists, he serves on non-profit boards including, New Path Couples Therapy and Therapy in Motion. he has been married 40 years and the proud parent of adult children , and he has received specialized couples training at the Master's & Doctoral levels. His interest in neurodiverse couples is rooted in his personal life, his prior work in technology, and because his psychology practice is based in Silicon Valley, a neurodiversity hot spot. NEURODIVERSE COUPLES: Most neurodiverse couples start off woefully uninformed about their differences and how to support and accept each other. This misinformation leads to misunderstanding, which eventually morphs into the belief that the other partner is purposely cruel or simply uncaring. Emotional walls come up and intimacy fades and then dies. The most important part of our work in therapy is to free you from this painful blame and shame cycle. We work to gradually reframe how you understand and see each other, reshaping your patterns, and allowing a new relationship to blossom. You can read more on his approach to Neurodiversity at: https://www.harrymotro.com/therapy-for-neurodiverse-couples . Other areas of focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): General Couples Therapy Affair Recovery Sex addiction Modalities: Trauma-focused Neurodiverse Couples Therapy , Emotion Focused Therapy, Imago Therapy, Gottman, Person-Centered, Existential, Couples-Based CBT, Behavioral, Internal Family Systems, Experiential, Positive Psychology Clients: Couples and Families only License: California / LMFT53452 Contact Harry Specialty Areas: Christian, ND at Work, Discernment, Internal Family Systems, Emotion Focused Therapy Harry Motro Take an Autism Test

< Back Jen Terrell | Neurodiverse Couples Specialist At a Glance: My Journey & Experience Specialist in Neurodiverse Processing & Communication – Helps partners navigate differences in sensitivity, sensory load, and emotional expression, fostering connection across neurotypes. Trauma-Informed, Nervous-System-Centered – Prioritizes regulation before resolution so communication and repair can actually land. Autism, ADHD, and Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)–Informed Care – Helps clients understand their sensitivity, manage sensory and emotional overload, and develop regulation tools that make daily life and relationships more sustainable. 28 Years Married – Brings long-term partnership perspective to real-world issues like rupture, repair, routines, and seasons of closeness/distance. Mother of Four – Parent of four children (ages 13 to 17) with decades of lived experience; helps parents understand behavior through a sensory and regulation lens and build connection through practical routines and repair. Culturally & Biculturally Fluent (Korean/American) – Welcomes bicultural families, immigrants, and intergenerational dynamics; builds bridges without forcing assimilation. Betrayal & Trust Repair – Experienced in helping couples recover from relational injuries (ranging from major betrayals to quiet accumulations of hurt). Healing for Neurodiverse Couples Welcome! I believe that every neurodiverse couple needs a clear, repeatable way to stay connected without burning out. My approach is to translate different communication styles, reduce avoidable overload, and design a rhythm of togetherness and solitude that keeps both partners regulated enough to connect. Partners often speak different “native languages”—one may be more literal, direct, and energy‑limited; the other more inferential, fast‑paced, and socially tuned. We’ll get specific about time (how you start/stop, transition, and reunite), communication (how bids are sent and received), and environment (sensory factors that either drain or refuel), with an eye on roles, fairness, and repair. Here are core practices we’ll build together: Communication mapping & translation: turn missed bids into clear asks; bridge literal ↔ inferential styles; agree on scripts and hand signals for “I’m flooding” and “please be concrete.” Time design: set a predictable cadence of together/alone; use “parallel play” and low‑demand connection; build entry/exit rituals so reunions don’t derail. Sensory‑aware connection : plan dates and talks around noise/light/texture limits; negotiate eye‑contact and touch preferences; create a quiet‑connection menu. Executive‑function scaffolding: externalize plans with shared calendars/boards; define task hand‑offs; use time‑blindness tools and realistic transition buffers. Repair rituals: slow down escalations with step‑by‑step time‑outs; separate intent from impact; use brief apology/repair templates and scheduled do‑overs. Role clarity & fairness: make invisible labor visible; rebalance loads in weekly check‑ins; document “how we do it” for recurring friction points. Intimacy agreements: map bids for affection/sexuality; create a pressure‑free intimacy menu and consent signals so closeness feels safe, not demanding. Who I Work With If you’re seeking a relational, trauma-informed, nervous-system-centered approach—and you want practical steps that protect the dignity of both partners—you’re in the right place. Neurodiverse couples and individuals who want to better understand their brains and strengthen their connection. Partners caught in protest–withdraw, collapse–escalate, or silence–pursuit cycles Highly sensitive clients who feel overwhelmed or chronically misunderstood Couples facing communication breakdowns and trust ruptures Families navigating bicultural, immigrant, and intergenerational dynamics If you want a relational, trauma‑informed, nervous‑system‑centered approach—with practical steps that protect the dignity of both partners—I’d be honored to work with you. Personal Story Between Worlds (Bicultural Roots) I’m the first‑generation daughter of a Korean immigrant mother and an American father. From the start, I translated more than words—decoding emotion, catching the rules no one said out loud, and learning how to belong in two cultures that didn’t always speak to each other. Fluent in the Unsaid (Alexithymic Parent) In our home, the loudest things were often unspoken. My dad—late‑identified with alexithymia—showed love in steady, practical ways, but emotional words rarely appeared. I became fluent in tone, timing, and tension. In sessions, that means I track micro‑shifts in breath, eyes, and posture so people feel understood even before the words come. I help partners name what they’re experiencing without shame or minimization, so truth lands without doing more harm. Highly Sensitive, Not Fragile (HSP) As a kid, I over‑functioned—anticipating needs, smoothing conflict, and carrying more than I could hold. Adulthood asked me to refine that sensitivity into a strength. Today I honor bandwidth, set clear boundaries, and use sensitivity as a precise instrument for connection. In practice, we pace the work to what your nervous systems can actually tolerate and design environments—sensory, time, and tasks—that support connection rather than sabotage it. (If HSP is new—or you’d like a quick read and a brief screener— here’s a short guide . Twenty‑Eight Years Married I’ve been married for 28 years. Long‑term love isn’t a straight line; it moves through seasons. I’ve lived chapters of deep connection and chapters that required grit, mercy, humor, and repair. That history shapes my lens. I respect the real cycle of closeness, distance, rupture, and repair. I focus on daily design—routines, roles, and transitions—that make safety repeatable. My hope is honest, not naïve: change is possible when it’s practiced, not just promised. And I carry a bias toward repair in real time rather than perfection in theory. Steady When Sessions Feel Intense Couples therapy can feel pressure‑filled—voices tighten, bodies brace, and it can seem like everything is on the line. This is a space where I feel at home. Years of leading through real‑world crises taught me how to stay calm, keep dignity intact, and guide two good people back to each other when the moment feels impossible. In the room, I slow reactivity so thinking can return, I name the pattern that’s hijacking the conversation, and I help you find the next caring step you can actually do. From Othering to Belonging Growing up in a Northern California suburb, I often felt like an outsider—present but out of sync. That experience sharpened my empathy for anyone who feels “too much,” “too little,” or simply “different.” In couples work, that becomes bridge‑building: not assimilation to one partner’s style, but a third way where both people are understood and supported. Why This Matters in Therapy This background means I translate across neurotypes and cultures so messages land as intended. I privilege nervous‑system reality over willpower so change is sustainable. And I protect the dignity of both partners while we practice new moves in the room. What to Expect in Session Clients describe my style as warm, steady, and clear. I am direct without shaming and structured without being rigid. We will name what is actually happening between you, not just what you wish were happening. We will practice in the room so you don’t have to build new habits alone at home. We will keep an eye on sensory load, processing speed, and executive‑function bandwidth so that plans are doable, not performative. And when repairs are needed, we will do them well—at a pace your bodies can tolerate—so trust has a chance to grow again. Neurodiversity & Identity I’m proud to be neurodiverse. I’m unequivocally a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and—when you look through the lens of how autism often presents in women—my profile includes strong autistic traits alongside very high camouflaging. That matches my lived experience: I feel deeply, notice quickly, and learned early to “blend in” to keep connection. I also experience meaningful sensory differences, so I pay close attention to sound, light, and tactile load—for myself and for my clients. Because I’m wired this way, I intuitively understand the push–pull dynamics many neurodiverse couples face, and I know how to translate, pace, and design safety so both partners can actually meet. Parenting Across Neurotypes I love being a mom of four precious children—ages 27 to 13. Parenting four different humans taught me more about neurodiversity than any textbook. Each child brought a distinct nervous system, sensory profile, and way of connecting. Strategies that soothed one could overwhelm another. I learned—sometimes the hard way—that what looks like “defiance” or “avoidance” is often a nervous system protecting itself from overload. I also learned that the same moment can require very different responses: one child needed quiet and deep pressure to come back online; another needed movement and a time‑boxed plan; a third needed humor and a snack before words; a fourth needed space and a predictable check‑in. That lived education is the backbone of my work with parents. In my work with parents, I translate behavior through a regulation and sensory lens, build routines that actually fit a family’s bandwidth, and protect connection while setting clear, sustainable boundaries. Structure and tenderness are not opposites; they’re partners. Decode: meltdown vs. shutdown; sensory overload vs. “oppositional”; lagging skills vs. willful refusal. Design: mornings, transitions, homework flow, screen‑time limits, and recovery plans after overwhelm. Co‑regulate: simple scripts, breath/grounding cues, sensory kits, and repair rituals after conflict. Boundaries: a few clear rules, visual cues, choices inside limits, and plans for high‑stress moments. Special Focus: Betrayal Healing Betrayal shows up in every relationship in one form or another—sometimes large and obvious, sometimes quiet and cumulative. However it appears, it wounds safety and reshapes the story two people tell about each other. My focus is to slow reactivity, put clear words to the harm, and build a steady, compassionate repair process that honors truth, restores safety, and rebuilds trust over time. This work is careful and paced to what bodies can tolerate; it’s not performative, and it’s not rushed. Training & Approaches My work is grounded in relational neuroscience—the brain is social and changes through co‑regulation. Insight matters, but change sticks through repeated, attuned moments of safety. I integrate: Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT) — reference: PACT Institute Internal Family Systems (parts work) — reference: IFS Institute Polyvagal‑informed regulation work — reference: Polyvagal Institute Somatic tracking and attunement — reference: Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute Attachment science for couples (EFT) — reference: ICEEFT Trauma‑informed principles — reference: SAMHSA Research‑based communication and repair tools — reference: The Gottman Institute License &Employment Information Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #155583 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Neurodiverse Couples, Highly Sensitive People (HSP), Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Communication, Multicultural Challenges, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients, ADHD, Blended Families, Cassandra Syndrome, Life Transitions, Teens, Trauma Jen Terrell Take an Autism Test