Art therapy can be a great option for neurodiverse individuals and our team of therapists are experienced in using art to promote self-expression and communication. AUTISM & ART THERAPY < Back WELCOME TO OUR ART THERAPY JOURNEY FOR AUTISTIC ADULTS Hello and welcome from Colleen Kahn and Stephen Robertson ! We are a pair of art therapists who specialize in neurodiversity, with a particular focus on autism. Our passion lies in the beautiful intersection of art and therapy , a space where expression knows no bounds and every stroke of a brush tells a story. We believe in the transformative power of art therapy to support autistic adults in their journey toward self-expression, communication, and emotional well-being. THE HEART OF ART THERAPY Art therapy is more than just creating art; it's a therapeutic process that facilitates self-exploration, understanding, and growth. For autistic adults, it offers a… Show More

We are always looking for therapists passionate about working closely with the neurodiverse community. We would love to meet you! CAREERS FOR THERAPISTS < Back POSITIONS OPEN: Click the link below to apply on Indeed.com: Associate Marriage & Family Therapist for Neurodiverse (Autistic + Allistic) Couples Associate Marriage & Family Therapist - Sex Addiction and Support of Betrayed Partners At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center (NCCC), we train the next generation of world-class therapists specializing in neurodiversity. Find Your Career Path Are you intrigued by the idea of counseling couples, particularly neurodiverse couples, but feel unsure where to begin? Do you want to build your skills and gain hands-on experience in a supportive environment that values the unique challenges and strengths of neurodiverse relationships? Working with neurodiverse couples can be a deeply fulfilling way to help partners… Show More

Communication Guide for Neurodiverse Couples. Learn to listen and talk with less frustration and more hope! NEURODIVERSE COMMUNICATION < Back SPEAKING DIFFERENT LANGUAGES? Why do we feel like we are speaking different languages when we try to talk to each other? Do your partner's words sound like "blah blah blah...", where you are not really hearing each other? What hijacks our ability to communicate effectively? Do your conversations sound like: Tammy: Look at me when I talk to you. Tim: I am trying to but you're not making any sense. You said to walk the dog as soon as I felt like it. I never felt like it. Tammy: You know that the dog needs a walk every day. Tim: But you never said that. Tammy: I've said that… Show More

Learn how an adult assessment for Austism Spectrum Disorder is conducted and when diagnoses can be helpful. SCREENING TESTS & ASSESSMENTS < Back Are you autistic or ADHD? Try one or more of the screening tests for adults from our Adult Autism Assessments (AAA) site: Autism: Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) Test Ritvo Autism & Asperger Diagnostic Scale (RAADS -14) Modified Girls Questionnaire for Autism Spectrum Condition (GQ-ASC) - Scale for Adult Women Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) ADHD: Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRSv1.1) Barratt Impulsiveness Scale (BIS-11) Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST) Copeland Symptom List for Adult ADD ASD & ADHD ASSESSMENT & DIAGNOSIS After taking a screener, you may wish to consider getting a diagnosis. This can be INCREDIBLY helpful as it can give people a new perspective into their feelings, experiences,… Show More

We understand that many people struggle to identify, express, and understand emotions. This condition is known as alexithymia and our therapists are prepared to meet you where we are and guide you towards your goals. ALEXITHYMIA < Back ALEXITHYMIA Do you struggle to recognize and express emotions? Do you feel a bit confused whenever a friend asks "How are you?" Are you uncomfortable around others who are processing their emotions? Do you prefer to "live in your head?" If you answer is "I think so" to most of these you, are probably in the right place. WHAT IS ALEXITHYMIA? Alexithymia is a condition characterized by challenges in identifying, understanding, and expressing emotions. Individuals with alexithymia may find it difficult to recognize their own feelings or the feelings of others. This can lead to challenges in forming and maintaining relationships, as well as navigating various social situations. Our counseling… Show More

As a therapist deeply immersed in the intricate dynamics of neurodiverse relationships, I've often found myself in the middle of the age-old debate: What holds more value, facts or feelings? 🤔 Picture this: one partner, with a furrowed brow, insists, "The facts clearly show I'm right! You are completely overreacting! You shouldn't feel that way." 😠 While the other, with a sigh of frustration, counters, " But you're missing how all this makes me feel, which is just as important." 😞 This isn't just an argument; it's a vivid illustration of two fundamentally different ways of experiencing the world, each with its own language, trying desperately to be heard and understood. 🗣️ The Deep Roots of Emotions 🌱 A deeper dive into the nature of feelings reveals that they are often rooted in past experiences rather than the present moment. This is particularly true for individuals who have endured trauma. For them, current events can act as triggers, invoking disproportionate emotional responses that seem incongruent with the actual situation. It's akin to a geological fault line; when the present bumps against this line, it causes tremors that reverberate through our being, manifesting as intense emotions. Understanding an Outsized Reaction 😲😡😥😖 This understanding of emotions sheds light on why we might react strongly to certain situations that, to our partner, might seem minor. It's NOT the present circumstance that's solely responsible for our feelings; instead, it's our past experiences casting long shadows over our current perceptions. This shift from present to past can lead us to erroneously believe that, if only our partner would change, our emotional turmoil would subside. However, the key to mitigating these disproportionate reactions lies in having compassion for the underlying trauma, thereby recalibrating our emotional responses to better match the realities of the present. The Autistic Mistake: Dismissing Emotions ❌🧠 Unfortunately, autistic partners often make the mistake of arguing facts over feelings. The wiser path is acknowledging the reality and significance of feelings, while setting facts aside for the moment. Emotions are indicators, messengers that convey important insights about our inner world and our relationships. The Allistic Mistake: Equating Emotions to Truth ❌🔮 On the other hand, the mistake that an allistic partner makes is to elevate these feelings to the status of incontrovertible truths , allowing them to unjustifiably indict others or dictate our actions. This misstep can lead us down a path of misunderstanding and conflict, both with ourselves and others. Take a Pause: From Primal to Thoughtful Response ⏸️💡 One of the most effective strategies for navigating emotional triggers is the practice of pausing before reacting. This pause, a moment of intentional breath and reflection, allows us to move from a primal, reactive state to one of thoughtful response. It signals to our body that we are safe, enabling us to engage the more rational parts of our brain. Learning to pause and respond rather than react can result in a monumental shift for a couple. Feelings are Essential, Not Truth 💖 Feeling our feelings is essential. Resisting or denying them as an individual or a couple only amplifies their intensity and can lead to greater internal turmoil. Feelings are transient energies, constantly in flux. By allowing them to flow through us, they lose their power to overwhelm. Yet, remembering this truth can be challenging in moments of acute emotional distress. Ultimately, honoring our feelings while also recognizing that they are not infallible truths is a delicate balance to achieve. Feelings provide valuable insights into our emotional landscape, but they must be interpreted with caution and context, particularly when they stem from past traumas. Neurodiverse Couples Counseling 🤝 For neurodiverse couples grappling with facts and feelings, the support of a neurodiverse couples specialist can be an invaluable step towards healing and equilibrium. In doing so, we learn not only to honor our feelings but also to ensure they serve us in constructive ways, guiding us toward healthier, more informed choices in our lives. Click Here To Match With An Expert With heartfelt guidance and support, Harry Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, PsyD Dr. Motro is a registered Marriage and Family Therapist #53452 and the Founder/Clinical Director of the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule With Whitney Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Are you curious about whether or not you have autism/ADHD? Want to learn more about yourself and take the first step towards deeper self-understanding? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take An ASD/ADHD Screener

Meet Sara and Mark. Mark is autistic and, in our third therapy session, his struggles with alcohol became the BIG topic of discussion. For years, alcohol use sent their relationship on a rollercoaster of misunderstandings and pain. Whenever Sarah’s parents visited or Mark’s work became overwhelming, Mark would secretly drink. However, it wasn’t secret enough. Sarah would pick up on subtle clues, confront Mark, who would feel defensive and ashamed and would completely shut down. Sarah never understood why Mark drank and viewed his struggle as a personality flaw. Mark didn't want to drink, yet he couldn't find another way to cope. And he hated Sarah telling him what to do. It was painful for both of them! Fortunately, they didn't give up. Instead, they tried neuro-informed therapy. In our work together, they could finally stop blaming each other and take a deeper look at themselves. They learned to look beyond the alcohol to the underlying stressors. Eventually, they quit seeing each other as the enemy and started working towards an addiction-free relationship. Surprising Stats 📊 When it comes to substance use and autism, the conversation is far from straightforward. A recent study by the Autism Research Centre in Cambridge examined this issue using a mix of surveys and in-depth responses. Here's what they found: Less Frequent Autistic Use: Only 16% of autistic adults reported drinking on three or more days per week, compared to 22% of their non-autistic peers. Just 4% of autistic adults reported binge-drinking, compared to 8% of non-autistic adults. Male & Female #’s: Autistic males are less likely to have ever smoked or used drugs compared to non-autistic males. There were no significant differences in substance use patterns between autistic and non-autistic females . B ehind the Numbers: The Real Story of Autism & Addiction 🗣️ Despite the lower rates of substance use overall, the qualitative data tells a different story: Self-Medication: Autistic individuals were nearly nine times more likely to use recreational drugs to manage autism-related symptoms like sensory overload and mental focus . Many also used substances to mask their autism, a practice known as camouflaging. Mental Health: Autistic adults were over three times more likely to use substances to manage mental health symptoms, including anxiety, depression, dealing with past trauma, and suicidal thoughts . While some found relief and reduced their prescribed medication doses, others faced significant risks. High Risk: Autistic individuals are over four times more likely to report substance use related to dependence and managing suicidal thoughts . Working Together in Neurodiverse Couples Therapy for Addiction 🤔 Here are five key insights and steps to support your relationship: Recognize the Overlap 🔀: Understand that autistic partners may use substances to cope with sensory overload, social anxiety, or other challenges. A cknowledge this unique interplay between autism and addiction, how it shows up in your relationship, and break the shame cycle which is based on misunderstanding. Personalized Treatment Plans 📝: Develop both individual and couples treatment plans that consider the specific needs of the autistic and allistic partners. This may include sensory-friendly environments and transparent addiction recovery plans. Developing Shared Language 💬 : For neurodiverse couples dealing with addiction, creating a shared language is crucial. This includes practicing "recovery check-in’s" where partners discuss their progress and setbacks. I t's important to differentiate between a slip (a single instance of substance use) and a relapse (a return to previous patterns of substance use). By fostering clear communication, couples can address feelings of shame and vulnerability openly, which helps in supporting each other through recovery. Professional Support 🩺: Work with our therapists who are experienced in both autism and addiction. Specialized strategies tailored to neurodiverse couples can be more effective. Build a Support Network 👥: When appropriate, engage family and friends in the treatment process. Their support creates a stable environment crucial for recovery. Alternative Coping Mechanisms 🌟: Encourage healthy coping mechanisms, such as hobbies or physical activities, that provide relief without substance use. Stay Connected 💬 We're here to help you navigate the complexities of neurodiverse relationships. If you have any questions or need support, don't hesitate to reach out. Let's continue to learn and grow together! Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Think You Might be on the Autism Spectrum? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take the RITVO Diagnostic Scale

🧩 The Struggle to Connect: What's Really Going On? I’m guessing that many of you have struggled to connect with your partner? Probably for years… But have you ever wondered what’s really behind this difficulty? Is it a lack of social motivation on the part of the autistic partner? Or is the effort required to connect simply too overwhelming? 💭 Social Motivation: A Key Factor? Researchers have proposed the “ Social Motivation Theory of Autism ”, which suggests that autistic individuals may have a diminished intrinsic drive to seek out social interactions. Unlike neurotypical individuals who naturally find social connections rewarding, those on the autism spectrum may not experience the same level of social motivation. This reduced motivation can lead to fewer social interactions, which in turn contributes to underdeveloped skills in forming and maintaining relationships. The social motivation deficit comes first, leading to less ability to connect. However, it’s crucial to understand the difference between motivation and desire. Desire is the longing or wish for something , an emotional or cognitive state where a person wants a certain outcome. Motivation is the drive or push that turns that desire into action . It’s the internal or external force that compels someone to take steps toward fulfilling that desire. For autistic individuals, the desire for connection might still be present—they may deeply want to form relationships and feel connected to others. However, the motivation to pursue these connections might be lower because the brain doesn’t register social rewards as strongly as it does in neurotypical individuals. This doesn’t mean there’s a lack of desire, but rather that the drive to act on that desire is less compelling due to how these social interactions are processed in the brain. Key Insight : The struggle to connect may stem from an inherent difference in how social rewards are perceived, rather than a lack of desire to connect. 🛠️ The Effort Barrier: A New Perspective While social motivation might be lower for some autistic individuals, another significant factor is the sheer effort required to navigate social interactions. For many on the spectrum, the effort can feel like climbing a mountain. Contrary to the research we just discussed, a different study found that autistic adults can be just as motivated, if not more so, to engage in social interactions as their neurotypical counterparts. However, the effort required—decoding social cues, managing sensory sensitivities, and following unspoken social rules—can be overwhelming. This high level of effort can lead to withdrawal, not because the desire to connect isn’t there, but because the process is exhausting. Revised Understanding : The challenge in connecting may not just be about motivation but also about the significant effort required to maintain social interactions. For autistic individuals, this effort can be a critical barrier, even when the motivation to connect is strong. 🔄 Misinterpretations & Conflict: The Vicious Cycle Neurodiverse couples often misinterpret each other. Instead of understanding that their differences stem from how their brains work, they assume their partner’s behavior is intentional, leading them to take things personally. When these misunderstandings accumulate, they can lead to conflict, which further diminishes the motivation for social interaction and makes the effort barrier seem even more insurmountable. 🛋️ What to do? Here’s a suggestion to try at home: 1 - Find a time to have an open conversation with your partner about this topic. 2 - Ask each other whether you feel your connection struggles are more about motivation or effort. 3 - At this point, don't solve any problems. Take turns listening and only talk about how you understand yourself, not your partner. Try not to talk for your partner! If this feels too overwhelming to tackle on your own, please reach out to us. We’re here to help you clear away the misunderstandings that keep you stuck and explore how motivation and effort issues impact your relationship. Warm regards, Harry Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Do You Think You May be on the Autism Spectrum? Take the RITVO Autism Test

"Cassandra Syndrome" is a term that Dr. Tony Attwood first coined in his book, The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome . It describes a situation where an individual with Asperger's Syndrome (a form of autism spectrum disorder) is in a relationship with a neurotypical partner. The neurotypical partner often feels dismissed and unheard, leading to feelings of frustration, resentment, and even anger. Defining Neurodiversity and Neurotypical: Judy Singer, an Australian sociologist with autism, first coined the term "neurodiversity" in the late 1990s. The term is now used to describe the range of neurological differences within the population, including conditions like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), dyslexia, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), autism spectrum disorder, and even some traumatic brain injuries (TBI). While there is no one-size-fits-all definition of "neurotypical," the term is generally used to describe individuals with no neurological disorders or differences. In other words, neurotypical people are considered "neurologically average." What is Autism Spectrum Disorder? Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a complex neurobehavioral condition that affects a person's ability to communicate, interact with others, and have typical motor and sensory behaviors. ASD is characterized by impaired social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication issues, and unusual or repetitive behaviors. The medical community now recognizes that there is not one "type" of autism but rather a spectrum of symptoms and behaviors that differ significantly from person to person. Current research shares that men are four times more likely to be diagnosed with ASD than women. However, this number is changing as we become more aware of the prevalence of ASD in women and girls. Differences in Brain Wiring: What is fascinating is the brain differences between those on the autism spectrum and neurotypical individuals. The autistic brain is wired differently than the neurotypical, and this difference in wiring can account for many of the challenges and strengths that people with ASD face. For example, people with ASD tend to be very literal thinkers and may have difficulty understanding sarcasm, metaphors, or jokes. This literal thinking can also lead to strengths in attention to detail and pattern recognition. People with ASD may also have Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), which means that their brain has difficulty processing sensory filtering information. This condition can lead to Sensory Overload, where an individual is bombarded with too much sensory input and becomes overwhelmed. While everyone's brain is wired differently, those with ASD tend to have more extreme differences in brain wiring than neurotypical individuals. These differences can account for many of the challenges and strengths that people with ASD face. What is Cassandra Syndrome? Cassandra syndrome is named after the Greek mythological figure cursed by Apollo. Apollo blessed her with the gift of foreseeing the future, but when she rejected his advances, he cursed her so that no one would believe her predictions. In other words, she had knowledge others didn't have, but she could not share it effectively. In neurodiverse relationships, one partner has a different way of processing information and communicating than the other, leading to misunderstandings and frustrating communication breakdowns. However, there are ways to decode Cassandra syndrome and improve communication in neurodiverse relationships. What Causes Cassandra Syndrome? There are a few different things that can cause Cassandra syndrome in neurodiverse relationships. Poor Understanding: One is simply a lack of understanding about how the other person processes information. Communicating can be challenging when we don't understand how someone else perceives the world effectively. Psychoeducation for both the neurodiverse partner and neurotypical is key in overcoming this challenge. Lack of Empathy: If we cannot see things from another person's perspective, it's easy to become wrapped up in our point of view and ignore their needs altogether. This concept is known as the empathy gap and significantly contributes to Cassandra syndrome. Different Communication Styles: Another reason Cassandra syndrome occurs is that people with ASD tend to communicate differently than neurotypical individuals. Those on the autism spectrum may not pick up on nonverbal cues, such as body language and tone of voice. They may also prefer to communicate in more literal, concrete terms, leading to miscommunication and frustration on both sides. Different Priorities: Another cause of Cassandra syndrome is that people with ASD often have different priorities than neurotypical individuals. This can lead to disagreements about what is important in a relationship and how to spend time together; it is vital to be understanding and patient as you learn about your partner's priorities. Differences in Social Skills: People with ASD often have challenges with social skills; this can make communicating difficult, leading to frustration and misunderstanding. However, there are many resources available to help improve social skills. With practice and patience, communication will improve over time. Diverse Learning Styles: We all have different ways that we learn and process information. Some are visual learners, while others are more auditory or kinesthetic. Communicating can be challenging when we don't understand someone else's learning style. Power Differential: Another cause of Cassandra syndrome is an imbalance of power in the relationship; this can result when one person feels like they are the only "normal" or the only one who understands what's happening. It's important to remember that both partners are equal and that each person's experience is valid. Cognitive Abilities: Lastly, Cassandra syndrome can be caused by a difference in cognitive abilities. People with ASD often have higher-than-average IQs, while neurotypical individuals may have average or lower-than-average IQs. This difference in cognitive abilities can lead to tension and conflict, as the neurodiverse individual may How to decode Cassandra Syndrome: If you think you might be experiencing Cassandra syndrome in your relationship, you can do a few things to help decode it. First, try to educate yourself about how your partner perceives the world and what their needs are. Reading books and articles and talking to professionals specializing in autism spectrum disorders is essential. Second, be understanding and patient as you communicate with your partner. They may not pick up on nonverbal cues or understand sarcasm, and it's important to be clear and direct. Self-esteem and patience are essential in decoding Cassandra syndrome. Third, learn about your partner's priorities and how they like to spend their time; this will help you understand their perspective and make communication easier. It's also important to be flexible and willing to compromise. Fourth, try to find ways to improve your social skills. There are many resources available online that can help with this. With practice, you'll be able to communicate better with your partner. Fifth, make an effort to connect with your partner on their level; perhaps you can become more involved in finding common interests or learning about things that are important to them. With time and patience, you can build a strong, supportive relationship. Sixth, manage your anxiety and stress levels, especially working some physical movement into your daily routine. When we're feeling overwhelmed, it can be challenging to communicate effectively. Try to take some time for yourself every day to relax and de-stress; this will help you be more patient and understanding with your partner. Lastly, remember that both partners are equal and that each person's experience is valid. Everyone has different needs and perspectives, so respecting each other's differences is essential. If you can do these things, you'll be on your way to decoding Cassandra syndrome in your relationship. Want to learn more about Cassandra Syndrome? We invite you to visit Believing Cassandra, our partner site dedicated to providing women with the support they need to heal and flourish in their relationships with neurodiverse partners. Believing Cassandra Conclusion: Cassandra syndrome can be frustrating and challenging, but there are ways to decode it and improve communication in your relationship. By educating yourself about how your partner perceives the world, being more empathetic towards their perspective, and managing any anxiety you may have, you can start rebuilding trust and communication in your relationship. There's no one-size-fits-all solution to decoding Cassandra Syndrome. It's essential to be flexible and adaptable as you navigate your relationship. You can build a strong bond with your partner. And if you think you or your partner may be experiencing Cassandra Syndrome, please reach out for help. We at the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center can provide you with the support and resources you need to decode this syndrome and improve communication in your relationship. Click Here To Match With An Expert All the best, Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony , MA is a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #127882 , Registered Associate Professional Clinical Counselor #10253 , Transpersonal Coach, Author & Speaker. Click here to learn more about Barbara Lazarony. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule With Whitney Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Are you curious about whether or not you have autism/ADHD? Want to learn more about yourself and take the first step towards deeper self-understanding? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take An ASD/ADHD Screener

Hi There, Have you ever felt like your meal routine was a little...different? You're not alone! We'd like to share some intriguing insights about eating problems in adults with autism, and it's eye-opening. 👀✨ 🍽️ Eating Challenges for Adults with Autism: The Research says… Men with Autism: The Struggle is Real Research has shown that men with autism face various eating problems that can disrupt their daily lives and relationships. These issues range from being extremely picky with food to feeling uncomfortable eating around others. Key Insights: Picky Eating: Men with autism scored 12.6 on the picky eating scale, compared to 9.7 for neurotypical men. Social Mealtime Discomfort: Men with autism scored 23.4 in social mealtime discomfort, compared to 18.7 for neurotypical men. Impact on Your Relationship: 👫 💞 Imagine your partner is struggling with picky eating or social discomfort during meals. This can make shared meals—a common bonding activity—stressful or even impossible. Misunderstandings and frustrations can arise, affecting the emotional connection and harmony in the relationship. 🥗 Women with Autism: A Closer Examination Heightened Sensitivity and Eating Disorders The same study found that women with autism experience even more significant eating problems than men. They report higher sensitivity to the sensory aspects of food, such as taste, smell, and texture, and display symptoms of eating disorders, like food refusal and purging. Key Insights: Sensitivity to Food: Women with autism scored 26.4 on sensitivity to food, compared to 20.6 for neurotypical women. Picky Eating: Women with autism scored 13.2 on picky eating, compared to 10.6 for neurotypical women. Eating Disorder Symptoms: Women with autism scored 10.5 on eating disorder symptoms, compared to 8.8 for neurotypical women. Impact on Your Relationship: 👫 💞 For women with autism, heightened food sensitivities and eating disorder symptoms can create significant strain. Partners might struggle to understand why certain foods or mealtimes are problematic, leading to feelings of isolation and tension. Addressing these challenges with empathy and tailored support is crucial for maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship. 🚨 Sensory Sensitivities & Interoception How Sensory Sensitivities Affect Eating Behaviors Research has also shown that sensory sensitivities in adults with autism are strongly linked to dysfunctional eating behaviors. Specifically: Visual Hypersensitivity: Those who are overly sensitive to visual stimuli tend to have higher levels of both eating disorder symptoms and autistic eating behaviors. Taste Hyposensitivity: Those with reduced sensitivity to taste are more likely to exhibit eating disorder symptoms. Interoception: The Hidden Link Another important factor to consider is interoception, which is how we perceive signals from our own body, like hunger, thirst, and even heartbeats. A recent study found that people with autism often experience atypical interoception, meaning they might not always sense these bodily signals accurately. This can contribute to eating problems and disorders. 🧩 Choose the Neuro-Informed Nourishment Way Our Call to Action Mainstream treatments for disordered eating are generally ‘one size fits all’. This can fail to help and, even worse, harm neurodivergent people. At Eating & Autism Therapy (EAT) , our individualized approach considers you as a whole person when it comes to food and eating, integrating an understanding of neuro-informed nourishment and trauma-informed care to honor your unique needs and autonomy. We see autism (or other forms of neurodiversity) as a strength and help you use it to your advantage. We are here to support you to explore and understand the patterns in your brain, body, nervous system, thoughts, and behaviors around food. We support you to define for yourself what you want and need when it comes to eating and find strategies that allow you to feel more comfortable and capable with your nourishment. This process is both practical and deep, as many clients find broader growth and healing along the way, like increased self-awareness and self-acceptance, happier relationships, more self-agency, and relief from chronic despair and shame. If you and your partner are struggling with the impact of eating problems on your relationship, we are here to help. Stay strong and keep thriving! Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Meet a Neuro-Informed Eating Specialist! Danielle Grossman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Neuro-Inclusive Disordered Eating Specialist. Her neuro-inclusive approach to therapy combines several factors to help clients better understand themselves and their relationship with eating. Among these factors are the neuroscience of eating, genetic components, the neuro-different brain as it relates to eating, and the impact of trauma. Danielle is passionate about moving away from harmful, more traditional eating disorder treatments and working with neurodivergent couples and individuals who seek help with eating and nourishment. Are you ready to get started and begin healing your relationship with eating? Complete Contact Form Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neuro-informed eating specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Do You Feel Restricted or Weighed Down by Your Rigid Routines? Want to measure how your repetitive behaviors present themselves in your life? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and take the Adult Repetitive Behaviors Questionnaire-2 (RBQ-2A). Take the RBQ-2A Test

🌟 ADHD Isn’t a Deficit—It’s a Different Way of Focusing ADHD isn't about a lack of focus—it's about a focus that operates on its own unique terms. Your ADHD brain is wired to zero in on what excites and engages you, unleashing incredible creativity and drive. But this same strength can also make it challenging to tackle tasks that don’t spark your interest, leaving you (and your loved ones) frustrated and misunderstood. It’s time to rethink ADHD as both a powerful tool and a challenge, and to understand how to harness its full potential. 🧠 The ADHD Nervous System: Unleashing Strengths and Overcoming Struggles The ADHD brain is a powerhouse of potential, driven by an interest-based system that can propel you to remarkable heights or present significant challenges depending on the task at hand. 🌟 The Strength: Hyperfocus and Creativity One of the most powerful aspects of ADHD is hyperfocus —the ability to become intensely absorbed in activities that captivate you. This laser-like focus can lead to extraordinary productivity, creativity, and problem-solving abilities. When your interest is piqued, your brain engages fully, allowing you to dive deep and excel in ways that others might struggle to achieve. 😴 The Struggle: Managing Mundane Tasks However, the same brain that excels in areas of passion can struggle with mundane, repetitive tasks . When a task lacks stimulation or personal relevance, it can feel nearly impossible to complete. This can lead to procrastination, avoidance, and a cycle of frustration where the inability to finish these tasks diminishes your sense of accomplishment and self-worth. 🥶 Another Struggle: Overwhelm and ADHD Paralysis Another significant challenge is ADHD paralysis —a state of overwhelm that occurs when faced with too many tasks or too much information. This mental shutdown can leave you feeling stuck, unable to move forward, and further exacerbates feelings of shame and inadequacy. By understanding these strengths and struggles, you can learn to navigate the challenges while leveraging the incredible potential that comes with your unique way of thinking. 🛠️ Therapeutic Interventions: Using NICUP and MEDS to Thrive In therapy, understanding that the ADHD nervous system is driven by interest allows us to develop strategies that not only manage symptoms but also harness the unique strengths of ADHD. Here’s how we approach it: 💥 NICUP: Aligning Tasks with Your Brain’s Natural Preferences NICUP stands for N ovelty, I nterest, C hallenge, U rgency, and P assion—elements that are key to engaging the ADHD brain effectively: Novelty : Incorporating new elements into routine tasks can keep your brain engaged and focused. We explore ways to introduce freshness into your daily routines. Interest : We help you connect your responsibilities with your personal interests, ensuring that even mundane tasks carry some level of engagement for you. Challenge : Transforming tasks into challenges or competitions can tap into your natural drive, making it easier to stay focused and complete them. Urgency : Creating realistic deadlines or adding time constraints can stimulate your brain’s need for urgency, helping you maintain momentum. Passion : We work to align your tasks with your core passions, ensuring that what you do feels meaningful and motivating. 🧘 MEDS: Building a Foundation for Mental Wellness While NICUP focuses on task engagement, MEDS — M indfulness, E xercise, D iet, and S leep—provides the foundation for overall mental wellness: Mindfulness : Practicing mindfulness helps you become aware of your thoughts and behaviors, enabling you to manage distractions and reduce shame-based thinking. Exercise : Regular physical activity is essential not just for your body but for your brain, helping to regulate mood, improve focus, and alleviate anxiety. Diet : A balanced diet supports brain function and energy levels, making it easier to maintain focus and manage ADHD symptoms effectively. Sleep : Quality sleep is critical for resetting your brain and preparing you for the challenges of the next day. We work on strategies to improve sleep hygiene, which can have a significant impact on your ability to manage ADHD. 💬 Addressing Shame and Self-Worth in Therapy ADHD isn’t just about focus; it’s also about the emotional toll that comes with it. Many adults with ADHD struggle with feelings of shame, inadequacy, and low self-worth because of the challenges they face in meeting expectations—whether their own or others'. In therapy, we work on: Building Self-Compassion : Recognizing that ADHD is not a flaw but a different way of processing the world. This shift in perspective is crucial for healing. Reframing Negative Thoughts : Helping you identify and challenge the negative self-talk that often accompanies ADHD struggles. Creating a Supportive Network : Encouraging connection with others who understand ADHD, so you don’t feel isolated in your experiences. ADHD isn’t about a lack of focus; it’s about focusing differently. The therapy we offer is not just any therapy—it’s specialized and deeply understanding because our therapists don’t just know ADHD clinically—they live it. Our team includes clinicians who are ADHD’ers themselves, bringing a wealth of lived experience to their practice. They understand the unique challenges you face because they’ve been there too. Through this specialized lens, we help you navigate challenges, build self-worth, and harness your unique strengths. Warmly, Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center 📝 Take Charge: Screeners to Better Understand Your ADHD Understanding your ADHD is the first step toward managing it effectively. We invite you to take one or more of the following screening tools to gain deeper insight into your symptoms and how they impact your daily life: 🧠 Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRSv1.1) A commonly used self-assessment tool for adult ADHD, the ASRSv1.1 consists of 18 questions designed to help identify ADHD symptoms. ⚡ Barratt Impulsiveness Scale (BIS-11) This 30-question screener focuses specifically on impulsivity traits, helping you understand how impulsiveness affects your life. 📋 Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST) The SAAST covers 21 questions about concentration, impulsiveness, disorganization, and hyperactivity, providing a broad overview of how these traits manifest. 🧩 Copeland Symptom List for Adult ADD If you’re more concerned with attention deficit rather than hyperactivity, this 63-question screener zeroes in on symptoms related to inattention. Taking these screeners can offer valuable insights and guide you in seeking further evaluation or support. 📊 Stats of the Week Did you know? Prevalence: Approximately 8.7 million adults in the U.S. have ADHD. 1. ADHD Statistics And Facts In 2024 – Forbes Health Underdiagnosis: Many adults with ADHD remain undiagnosed. Studies suggest that less than 20% of adults with ADHD are aware of their condition. 1. Adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic 2. Adult ADHD: Statistics and Facts - WebMD Gender Disparity: While more men are diagnosed with ADHD, women are often overlooked due to differences in symptoms presentation. 1. ADHD in Women - WebMD Comorbidities: ADHD often co-occurs with other mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. 1. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Adults: What You Need to Know - National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) Impact on Work and Relationships: ADHD can significantly impact an adult's career, relationships, and overall quality of life. 1. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Adults: What You Need to Know - National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) Treatment Effectiveness: Treatment, including medication and therapy, can be highly effective for managing ADHD symptoms and improving overall well-being. 1 1. Adult ADHD: Symptoms, Statistics, Causes, Types, and Treatments - WebMD Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney

Communication sounds simple, right? Just talk and listen. But for many couples, that’s where things get completely stuck. When communication breaks down, it can feel like you're hitting a brick wall, leaving you frustrated and hopeless. Reflective listening can be incredibly helpful, making sure each partner feels heard and understood. But let’s face it, reflective listening is rarely enough, especially for neurodiverse couples. To break through your communication walls, you need to dig deeper and ask yourself some though-provoking questions. Here are four crucial questions to continually ask yourself: 1. 🤔 How have I been complicit in creating the communication patterns that I say I don’t want? There's a difference between being “complicit” and being “responsible”. Complicit means you're playing a part, even unintentionally, in creating the situations you claim to dislike. You might be doing things you say you don’t want, but in some way, these actions serve you. Do you know what this might be? Think about it. Are you trying to protect yourself in some way? Having a hidden agenda can create chaos in our communication, making it difficult to break free from negative cycles. 2. 🗣️ What am I not saying that needs to be said? 🗣️ Do you hold back important feelings and thoughts because you fear your partner's reaction? One way to reduce this fear is by using a " soft start "—actually asking permission to say something that may be hard to hear. Ask your partner to listen and promise not to respond for at least an hour. Sometimes, even when it feels safe talk, it may still be really hard to figure out what you want to say. This is especially true for our neurodiverse partners who may not be “tuned in” to themselves. Meanwhile, allistic partners may be so worried about keeping everyone else happy that you’ve lost track of your own needs. Taking the time to deeply reflect on what is truly important to you can change your world. It can help you feel like you matter. 3. 👂 What am I saying that’s not being heard? 👂 Ever feel like you’re talking, but your partner isn’t listening? First, focus on how you are saying what you're saying. Are you speaking calmly and clearly, or are your words dripping with frustration and hopelessness? Work on soothing yourself enough so you’re not in a triggered state of mind and body. Instead of pointing out what they’re doing wrong, try focusing on your own feelings and experiences. Expressing your internal thoughts can lower defenses and open your partner to really hear you. 4. 🧏 What’s being said that I’m not hearing? 🧏 Listening is a gift. It means setting aside your own agenda for a moment to truly enter the other person’s world. Take some time to reflect on everything your partner is trying to tell you. Is there a deeper message beneath all the words they are saying? Does a complaint about dishes in the sink really mean that your partner feels overwhelmed at the end of the day and needs someone to notice all the work that gets done? By staying curious about what is being said, even if you disagree, you show respect and validation for your partner’s feelings and thoughts, breathing new life into the relationship. 📝 Start the Deeper Work of Communication 📝 The deeper work of a couple's communication begins with you and a piece of paper (or keypad!) Here’s an exercise to get started: 1. Answer these four questions honestly: Take some time alone to reflect on each question. Write down your answers thoughtfully and thoroughly. 2. Share your answers with your partner: Set aside a quiet time to discuss your reflections. Make sure to carefully listen to each other. Say back what you are hearing but don’t respond. Save that for later. 3. Get expert help: Breaking through years of stuck communication is tough to do alone. To work through challenges, consider seeing one of our neuro-informed clinicians. They can provide expert guidance and support on this journey. For more transformative insights and neuro-informed support, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We're here to help you navigate and strengthen your relationship. Until next time, Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Do You Focus Intensely on Some Interests, but Not Others? Want to see if your behavior is consistent with monotropism? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take the Monotropism Test

Are you desperately hoping to work on your neurodiverse relationship but worried that traditional weekly therapy just won't be enough? With sessions spread over months, progress can feel glacial. And hope gets zapped between sessions. Also, whoever said that one hour a week is always the best formula for therapy? 🔄 The Retreat Relationship Reset What if you could spend 3 days (with lots of breaks!) where you could reset your relationship? Like rebooting your computer!? At our neurodiverse couples retreats, you can: Reset your profound misunderstandings of neurodiversity and each other Get some therapy momentum going Secure buy-in to a healing roadmap from both partners Build a foundation to rebuild your relationship in a new way 🚫 Overcoming Objections Attending a retreat is a big decision. We usually hear some strong objections that sound like: How can I fit this in my schedule? 🗓️ When you do the math, a marriage retreat, often over a weekend, may be easier to fit into your schedule than the total time and logistics involved with going to an equal number of hours of weekly therapy. 🎯 It’s a big commitment. Maybe too big! Research shows that more commitment usually leads to higher motivation and better results. Yes, it is a big commitment. But on the other hand, if you make the commitment, it can set you on a much better path. 🤔 This sounds way too intensive. I'm autistic! Will I be able to handle it? We use the words “couples retreat” and not “couples intensive” for a reason. We are flexible with our agenda and slow things down as much as necessary, with lots of check-ins and breaks to give you a chance to reset your nervous system. 📝 What will actually happen during the retreat? Good question! Check out this sample schedule . 🏠 We can't afford the travel plus the cost of therapy. Virtual Retreats: Many couples love attending via Zoom. You’re in the comfort of your home, with no travel costs, extra planning, or added expenses. You get the same personalized attention and specific tools for success as an in-person retreat. In-Person Retreats: If it works in your budget, our getaways allow couples to escape everyday life and focus solely on reconnecting. The change of scenery helps you disconnect from stress and dive deep into the retreat experience. It’s about resetting in a new environment, fostering deeper connections, and learning new relationship skills. I’m afraid we’ll invest all this time and then fizzle out. 🔥 You’ll have the tools and strategies from the retreat to empower you to develop skills for self-awareness, understanding, acceptance, and communication. We’ll give you an individualized action plan that meets the needs of your relationship. We also encourage you to book ongoing regular therapy sessions with your retreat therapist so you can continue your momentum! 🌟 Ready to Take the Next Step? Why wouldn't you want someone who really understands you?! Whether you choose a virtual or in-person retreat, the Neurodiverse Couples Retreat Center is here to support you. We're the only retreat designed for neurodiverse couples run by neurodiverse specialists. Visit www.neurodiverse-retreat.com to learn more and book your retreat today! With hop for your growth and connection, Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Do You Struggle to Recognize and Express Emotions? Want to see if your behavior is consistent with alexithymia? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take the Alexithymia Test

Imagine trying to communicate your deepest desires and needs with your partner, but it feels like you're speaking different languages. That's often the reality for neurodiverse couples when it comes to intimacy and sex. Let's break the silence and dive into this crucial topic together! 🚧 8 Common Roadblocks to Neurodiverse Sex 👩‍❤️‍👨 1. Emotional vs. Physical Intimacy Neurotypical partners might crave emotional intimacy through communication about emotions and experiences. On the other hand, neurodiverse partners might seek physical intimacy to feel connected. It's like trying to take different paths to the same destination – closeness. 💬 2. Communication Communication barriers can intensify during intimate moments. Nonverbal cues like eye contact and body language often signal interest and consent, but these can be challenging for neurodiverse individuals. Recognizing these differences helps shift towards clear, direct communication, such as using "code words" for boundaries and planned breaks to process tough interactions. This approach reduces misunderstandings and ensures both partners clearly express needs and consent during intimacy. 🌐 3. Sensory Sensitivities Sensory sensitivities are a common issue in neurodiverse couples. Hypersensitivity can make physical touch overwhelming, while hyposensitivity may lead to a need for more intense sensory input. Understanding these differences is crucial. For example, one partner might need to adjust their touch to match their partner's sensory preferences. Educating couples about these variations helps them navigate and satisfy each other's sensory needs during intimate moments. 📋 4. Expectations Every person has unique expectations about what intimacy should look like, and for neurodiverse couples, these expectations might conflict. Open communication about these expectations is essential to align and find common ground, helping partners understand each other’s perspectives and needs. 📜 5. Past Experiences Past relationships significantly shape views on intimacy. Many autistic individuals have less experience with dating and sex, leading to unrealistic views of relationships or misunderstandings about roles. Addressing these past experiences in therapy helps partners understand each other's viewpoints and expectations, fostering deeper connections. 🔧 6. Executive Functioning Initiating intimacy requires planning and organizing, which can be challenging for neurodiverse individuals. Recognizing these difficulties and finding ways to support each other in initiating intimate moments can improve the relationship. 🔒 7. Rigidity Rigidity in routines or preferences can create tension in a sexual relationship. Neurodiverse individuals might have specific ways they believe intimacy should be, which can hinder the natural flow of the relationship. Couples can work together to become more adaptable to each other's needs. 🌹 8. Diverse Expressions of Intimacy Intimacy for neurodivergent individuals can differ from traditional norms. Activities like side-by-side gaming or snuggling while engaging in separate activities can be intimate for them. Recognizing and accepting these diverse expressions of intimacy is vital for some couples. 🤔 Where to Start? Couples struggling with sex often don't know where to start. In therapy, we work on the following areas: 🤝 Build a Common Understanding Understanding how neurodiversity impacts your physical intimacy is the first step. This involves psychoeducation about autism and re-contextualizing your relationship through this valuable lens. 🎯 Setting Clear Goals We help you discuss each partner's needs, desires, and quota for intimacy and sex. Together, we identify specific goals to address deficits and improve experiences. This can be incredibly hard to do and almost always needs the safe guidance from one of our counselors. 🗣️ Open Communication We facilitate conversations about why certain needs are unfulfilled and what specifics are required for improvement. This is not about compliance but rather focuses on understanding and exploration. 🧠 Perspective-Taking We consider each other's perspectives to increase relational success. Once you understand your partner's viewpoint, you can work together to strengthen intimacy and sexual connection. 👫 Sex Therapy for Neurodiverse Couples Do you feel overwhelmed reading this? Please know that is perfectly normal! Here's the good news: sex therapy with a neuro-informed therapist can help make it easier to talk about sex. We'll provide a supportive space for both partners to share in their own way and at their own pace. Imagine turning those awkward moments of miscommunication into opportunities for deeper connection, understanding and fun! Willing to try? We’re here when you’re ready. Warm regards, Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Are You Hypersensitive to Certain Noises, Textures, etc...? Learn About Sensory Processing Disorder