Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back Jamison Haase Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapist for Couples, Individuals, and Parents Who I Am: Act One: Small-Town Beginnings, Big-Hearted Lessons Jamison grew up in a tiny Minnesota town where the family rule was similar to so many others: feelings stay under wraps. Substance abuse, depression, and shame shaped a household that looked picture-perfect from the outside but ran on unspoken pain. Labeled “flaky” and “irresponsible,” Jamison spent years believing those words defined him—while quietly building hard-won empathy for anyone who feels misunderstood. Act Two: Hollywood Hustle Armed with a BFA in acting (1997), Jamison spent nearly 25 years on Los Angeles sets, eventually founding an on-camera school that helped hundreds of performers find their voice. Coaching actors taught him to read subtext and body language, hold space for others’ emotions, and spot the moment a story shifts—skills that now power his therapy work. Act Three: Therapy & a Late-Bloom Diagnosis After COVID, passion for showbiz faded and Jamison pivoted to mental health. While earning his Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy, he finally discovered the real reason he felt so out of sync in life: undiagnosed ADHD. Almost overnight, decades of shame melted, and a new mission emerged: help others rewrite their own misunderstood stories. Neurodiverse Couples Building a life with different neurotypes can feel like two radios tuned to separate stations—lots of volume, little clarity. Jamison’s 15-year marriage has lived that static and found the harmony, giving him lived wisdom he now shares with partners who are: Untangling Misinterpretations – When “You don’t care” really means “My brain processes differently.” Stuck in Blame-Shutdown Cycles – Swapping criticism and withdrawal for curiosity and repair. Hungry for Real Connection – Replacing scripts that never worked with communication that finally lands. How He Helps Name the Neurology – Understanding ADHD, autism, or AuDHD removes moral judgment and guilt. Create Accommodations – Practical systems for time, tasks, and sensory needs keep love from drowning in logistics. Reignite Intimacy – Emotionally Focused and Gottman-informed tools rebuild trust and warmth. With the right map, neurodiverse relationships don’t just survive—they become some of the most creative, resilient partnerships around. Neurodiverse Parenting Jamison and his wife are raising two energetic kids—one gifted, gloriously neurodiverse child and one future world-builder who keeps everyone laughing. Every school form, bedtime routine, and sensory storm doubles as on-the-job training. What He Knows Firsthand The confusion of trying discipline strategies that implode on an ADHD brain. The heartbreak of watching a gifted child mask until they burn out. The joy of seeing strengths shine when accommodations finally fit. In Parent-Focused Therapy, He Helps Caregivers: Decode Behaviors – Is it defiance, overwhelm, or an executive-function gap? Build Family Systems – Morning routines, homework plans, and shutdown-recovery scripts that actually work. Protect the Parent-Child Bond – Navigating shame, grief, and guilt so love stays front and center. Jamison believes children thrive when adults understand the brain behind the behavior—and when families trade “fixing” for celebrating unique wiring. Men, Neurodiversity, & A New Masculinity Growing up in rural Minnesota, Jamison absorbed a clear script: real men keep quiet, push through, never show weakness, or almost any emotion outside of anger. When undiagnosed ADHD amplified distraction, frustration, and shame, the result was an unhealthy mixture of anger and self-doubt that no one—least of all Jamison—could safely name. That powder keg eventually sent him to therapy, where he discovered two liberating truths: 1) masculinity isn’t one size fits all, and 2) neurodiverse brains often process emotion, stress, and sensory input in ways the old script never even considered. Late diagnosis reframed his struggles, and helped redefine masculinity as less about “manning up” and more about showing up —vulnerably, authentically, and in full technicolor neurodiversity. Today, Jamison helps other men rewrite that script. Whether clients are wrestling with ADHD-fueled impulsivity, autistic social fatigue, or the quiet dread of “never enough,” he offers a space where strength and sensitivity coexist—where tears, laughter, and profanity can all live in the same sentence. In Men’s Work, Jamison Guides Clients to: Decode Emotional Overload – separating neurological overwhelm from “weakness.” Transform Shutdowns & Outbursts – mapping triggers, building regulation tools, and practicing direct requests instead of silent resentment. Cultivate Shame-Resilience – replacing self-berating narratives with self-compassion rooted in accurate brain science. Align Identity with Values – moving from inherited roles to consciously chosen definitions of partner, father, friend, and man. Because masculinity doesn’t need to be torn down – it needs a broader definition that includes every neurotype, every emotion, and every voice. Trauma, Overwhelm, & EMDR Jamison is trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), a research-backed approach that helps the brain reprocess painful experiences so they stop running the show in the present. He uses EMDR with clients whose lives are shaped by: Old shame stories that won’t loosen their grip. Medical, relational, or childhood trauma that still lives in the body. Freeze, flight, or shutdown responses that feel automatic and out of proportion. Because many neurodivergent clients process information visually, somatically, or in “high-def” detail, Jamison tailors EMDR to honor sensory needs, pacing, and consent at every step. That can mean more preparation, slower sets, clear stop signals, and lots of collaboration about what feels safe. The goal isn’t to erase the past. It’s to take the charge out of it—so flashbacks become memories, triggers soften, and people can respond from choice instead of reflex. Specialties & Approach Late-identified ADHD & Autism in adults Neurodiverse couples communication & intimacy Executive-function coaching for real life Men’s issues & redefining masculinity Attachment & trauma-informed, person-centered care Emotionally Focused Therapy Gottman-inspired skills Somatic & creative techniques EMDR-informed trauma work License &Employment Information Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #151355 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Neurodiverse Couples, Autism, ADHD, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Trauma-Informed, Emotional Regulation, Attachment, Communication, Family Conflict, Emotional Intimacy, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Jamison Haase Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Adela Stone Not accepting new clients See our other clinicians or Fill our our contact form to get matched Adela is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who graduated with an MA in Clinical Counseling. She also has a Master’s degree in Journalism which she received in Europe where she is from. She speaks three languages and understands the need to tailor therapy based on cultural backgrounds. Her experience as an immigrant helps Adela to empathize with her client’s life challenges, and her early parental and spousal losses enable her to connect with others in mourning. It has also boosted her resilience and given her a worldview atypical for her age. She has gone through a big marital challenge herself during her current second marriage and has undergone couples therapy. She is now a part of a blended family which enables her to understand some of the tricky dynamics of step parenting. NEURODIVERSE COUPLES: The most common complaint of a neurotypical person in partnership with a neurodiverse person is the partner's rigidity. Often, the individuals in this type of relationship suffered attachment injuries. Making Sense of Differences I can help you shed light on some of your partner's behaviors and make sense of the hurt, misunderstanding and resentment you may feel. It is normal to go through grieving: for the past of your relationship that wasn't neurotypical as well as for the future of your union that will be always be a bit different. Your brains aren't wired the same way. Neuroscience research show us that People with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) may appear stuck or have shutdowns or meltdowns because they are often in a state of overwhelm in which someone with Asperger's is scared, frustrated, or angry, as well as withdrawn. This state is often referred to as Defense Mode. Defense Mode I can help you understand the Defense Mode that a neurodivergent person often employs so that you can help yourself or your partner from shutting down so often. Perhaps you know what the signs of Defense Mode are by now. The neurodivergent partner isn't trying to be mean. In fact, they are doing the best they can with the emotional resources they have, AND they can do better: for the sake of both of you as human beings worthy of love and acceptance, and for the sake of the future of your relationship. There are ways to help yourself or your loved one come out of Defense Mode. The two fundamental ones center around decompression time and trust building which is comprised of four necessary pillars that we can work on putting together. Your partner isn't being willful. Their definition of an issue you are dealing with just isn't the same as yours. Listening to Understand Talking in order to connect is a basic human need but we need to have a common shared understanding first. The message about what this shared understanding actually is can get blurred or corrupted. If you have a common language you can define shared values and shared expectations. Remember that forcing a conversation will lead nowhere. We can work on how to ensure an important conversation does take place though. I'm sure you know listening is important but are you actually using efficient and respectful listening with your partner? If you are, both of you will experience less frustration. Listen to understand, not to form a defensive retort in your mind as they speak. Understand what it is like to be them. I get that it isn't fair to you, the neurotypical partner, it feels as though you are doing all the work. I agree, it isn't fair but you are in a partnership and are here so I assume you do want to try. I am in the business of hope and positivity and would like to offer you some. I have seen neurodiverse marriages succeed. Other areas of focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): Healthy Grieving as a Couple Couples going through life transitions Co-parenting Kink-aware couples therapy Couples with mismatched sexual desires LGBTQIA+ ally Differences in sexual taste and style Guidance through nonmonogamy/polyamory Blended families/step families Languages: Fluent in Czech, French and English Clients: Couples, Families, Young Adults Modalities: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness-based Therapy, Gestalt, Positive Psychology, Existential Therapy, Art Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy. License: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT #143787, APCC #9260 Specialty Areas: Sex/Physical Intimacy, Kink/Poly-Affirmed, Neurodiverse Couples, Cassandra Syndrome Support, DBT, Intimate Partner Violence, Blended Families, Emotional Intimacy, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Not Accepting New Clients Adela Stone Take an Autism Test

Neurodiverse Communication Counseling: With the help of a trained therapist, couples can learn to recognize their patterns, practice new strategies in a safe space, and strengthen understanding. Therapy that focuses on client strengths is especially helpful for neurodiverse communication as it helps partners identify and build on what they already do well, rather than focusing only on deficits.

Try our Autism, ADHD, and AuDHD Trait Wheels—visual tools that help individuals and couples understand traits, reframe challenges, and appreciate neurodivergent strengths. Check out our Trait Wheels: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel What is an Autism Wheel? An Autism Wheel is a visual tool designed to map the complex reality of the autism spectrum.For a long time, people viewed autism as a linear spectrum—a straight line ranging from "mild" to "severe." But this model is often misleading. It suggests that a person is either "more" or "less" autistic, which doesn't capture the true experience of neurodiversity. In reality, the autism spectrum is multidimensional. An Autism Wheel breaks down the spectrum into specific traits (such as sensory processing, communication, or focus) and allows you to map exactly how each trait manifests in your life. It creates a circular "fingerprint" of your unique neurology, showing where you thrive and where you might need support. The Autism Trait Wheel Video Watch this video to see how the Autism Trait Wheel brings clarity to your strengths and challenges, helping you understand the patterns behind why some things feel effortless while others feel overwhelming. Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel The Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Difference: Strength vs. Challenge While many trait wheels simply measure the intensity of a symptom, the wheels we use in our practice—whether for Autism , ADHD , or AuDHD —are designed differently. We believe you cannot understand a neurodivergent brain by looking only at its struggles. You must also see its strengths. Our wheel splits every trait wedge into two halves: The Left Side (Red): Represents the Challenge or deficit (e.g., Sensory Overwhelm). The Right Side (Green): Represents the Strength or benefit of that exact same trait (e.g., Deep Passion & Expertise). This "dual-lens" approach helps you move away from a deficit-based mindset and toward a balanced view of the whole person. Understanding the "Spiky Profile" Visualizing your traits in this Red/Green format is the most effective way to understand the "Spiky Profile." Most neurotypical brains have a "smooth" profile—if they are generally competent in one area, they are usually competent in most others. Neurodivergent brains, however, are often "spiky." They are characterized by incredible peaks of ability (Green) and deep valleys of struggle (Red). Why This Matters for Couples In relationships, the "Spiky Profile" is often the root of the biggest misunderstandings. The Assumption: Because a partner sees the Peak (e.g., "You are brilliant at your job"), they assume a baseline of general competence in all areas. The Misinterpretation: When they encounter a Valley (e.g., "You forgot to pay the bill" or "You can't handle the noise at this restaurant" ), they don't see it as a capability issue. Because they know how smart you are, they misinterpret the deficit as bad intent—assuming you are being lazy, uncaring, or difficult on purpose. By coloring in the Trait Wheel, you make the invisible visible. You show that the valleys are just as real as the peaks, and that a struggle in one area doesn't negate competence in another. Why Visualize Instead of Using Screeners? These traits are based on standard neurodiversity screeners. However, taking a test and getting a raw score (like "35/50") or reading a list of clinical symptoms often feels abstract. Numbers don't convey the feeling of your experience. Visualizing allows you to: See the Pattern: Instantly spot where your energy goes and where it gets drained. Communicate Without Words: Show your partner a picture that explains your day-to-day reality better than a long explanation ever could. Reframe the Narrative: T urn a list of "symptoms" into a map of your identity. How to Use This Exercise If you're filling out a wheel for yourself: Read: Look at each wedge. Read the description for the challenging side (Red) and the positive side (Green). Color: Fill in the Red section if the struggle resonates with you. Fill in the Green section if the strength resonates. Reflect: Fill in more rings for stronger intensity. Notice how seeing the Green next to the Red changes how you view that trait. If you're filling out a wheel for your partner: Observe: Think about your partner's behaviors in the context of the descriptions. Color: Map their strengths and challenges as you see them. Connect: Share the finished wheel with them. Use it to say, "I see how hard this Red area is for you, but I also really appreciate this Green area. Check out our Trait Wheels: Autism Wheel ADHD Wheel AuDHD Wheel While this exercise is a powerful tool for self-discovery and connection, it is not a medical diagnosis. Looking for More Certainty? Many people complete their wheel and find that it answers some questions but raises others. If you want to move from general insight to concrete understanding, the next step is professional evaluation. Our therapists can work with you to perform comprehensive testing that goes deeper than screeners and visual tools, providing the clarity you need to navigate your life and relationship with confidence. Ready to get help? Click here to get matched with one of our team members First, select a wheel: Autism Wheel Exercises Trait Wheel: Autism View the Exercise Trait Wheel: AuDHD View the Exercise Trait Wheel: ADHD View the Exercise References Autism Education Trust. (2023, July 7). Spiky profiles. https://autismunderstood.co.uk/autistic-differences/spiky-profiles/ Butler, N. (n.d.). Spiky profile: What does it mean? The Autistic Joyologist. https://autisticjoyologist.co.uk/spiky-profile/ Exceptional Individuals. (n.d.). Spiky profile: What is it and who is it for? Retrieved November 3, 2025, from https://exceptionalindividuals.com/candidates/neurodiversity-resources/spiky-profile/ Jack, C. (2022, August 16). From autistic linear spectrum to pie chart spectrum. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-autism-spectrum-disorder/202208/autistic-linear-spectrum-pie-chart-spectrum

We are a group of therapists and coaches DEDICATED to supporting neurodiverse couples. Serving neurodiverse couples. Building bridges for autistic partner and neurotypical spouse. The World's Largest Neuro-Informed therapy service. 100% Online. 8e74e1_540038cb57aa4ae3843a4c6f04f414c7~mv2_edited Inna Kuchmenko (1)-newgall Danielle Grossman_edited Nancy Rushing copy )-newgall2 Lea Choi_edited_edited IMG_0408_edited Tamala Takahashi Help us match you to the right therapist Get Matched Now Sign up to receive weekly tips, tools and cutting edge info Submit Got it. Look for your newsletter soon! Take an Autism or ADHD Test Schedule a Free Consult Now For Couples Couples Communication Sex Parenting Retreats Discernment For Individuals Autistic Men Autistic Women ADHD Women AuDHD Cassandra Highly Sensitive People (HSP) Twice Exceptional Children

Meet our Team of Neurodiverse Couples Counselors for help with Autism & ADHD and your Relationship Meet Our Team All Team Members are Neurodiverse Couples Specialists. To find their ADDITIONAL specialty areas, select one of the buttons below. Therapist Finder All Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Accepting New Individual Clients Only Not Accepting New Clients ACT ADHD ASD/Allistic Couples Addiction Assessment Attachment AuDHD Autism Betrayal Recovery Betrayal/Affair Recovery Blended Families Brainspotting Buddist - Spiritual CBT Cancer & Autism Cassandra Syndrome Support Christian Communication Couples Retreats/Intensives DBT Discernment Divorce EFT Eating & Autism Emotion Focused Therapy Emotional Intimacy Emotional Regulation Emotionally Focused Therapy Family Conflict General Couples Coaching Highly Sensitive People (HSP) IFS Integrative Spiritual Therapy Internal Family Systems Intimate Partner Violence Kink/Poly-Affirmed LGBTQIA+ Life Transitions Multicultural Challenges Muslim background ND at Work Neurodiverse Couples Ongoing Relationship Trauma PDA Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse) Sex/Physical Intimacy Somatic Therapies Teens Transformational Coaching Trauma Trauma Bonds Trauma-Informed Kimberly Hawks Jamison Haase Jenny Pan Heather Emerson-Young Daniel Chung Jory Wilson Stephen Robertson Leila Pirnia Lisa Marie Anzaldua Danielle Grossman Alyssa Bayus Rachel Wheeler Maring Higa Cassie Clayton Nancy Rushing Colleen Kahn Harry Motro Blaze Lazarony Amanda Buckman Jen Terrell Shea Davis Lea Choi Malori Evans Tamala Takahashi Adela Stone Liz McClanahan Joseph Kaiser Robin Greenblat More about the TEAM... We're a group of dedicated therapists and coaches who have come together to: treat the neurodiverse community with respect, develop a robust set of tools to help neurodiverse couples, approach neurodiverse healing from a strength-based approach , understand that the trauma of past misunderstanding needs to be healed in a gentle way, share best-practices for neurodiverse therapy amongst the team so we can offer you a beneficial experience, and offer integrated therapy where both the couple and each partner can each have their own counselor ; yet, the therapy is synchronized to achieve compatible goals. Please complete the contact form to be matched with a neurodiverse therapist or coach.

Find answers to your questions about Autism, Neurodiverse couples counseling, Cassandra Syndrome, and Skills Training. HELPFUL RESOURCES INFORMATION OVERLOAD It is easy to fall into the deep hole of the internet to research neurodiversity and never come out. THERAPIST AS GUIDE One way to become informed is to soak in some information, process it with your therapist, and then see what makes sense to you. COUPLES CONTENT LIBRARY Visit our Couples Content Library to access additional exercises and information. Your therapist can can help you toward resources that may be a good fit for you. For now, here are a few touchstones of organized content. Infographics Neurodiverse Couples Communication Neurodiversity Magnet Neuro-Informed Websites Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center www.neurodiversecouplescounseling.com Adult Autism Assessment Center www.adult-autism-assessment.com She Rocks the Spectrum www.sherocksthespectrum.com Therapy 4 Autistic Men www.therapy4autisticmen.com Parenting Autism Therapy Center www.parentingautismtherapycenter.com Believing Cassandra (for Neurotypical Partner) www.believing-cassandra.com Neurodiverse Couples Retreat www.neurodiverse-retreat.com Books to INSPIRE you These books contain deep insights about being different. They will make you laugh, cry and learn. Enjoy: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend: A Novel Paperback by Matthew Dicks The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband by David Finch The Power of Different: The Link Between Disorder and Genius by Gail Saltz Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's by John Elder Robison We're Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric Garcia Books to INFORM you. These books are about making a neurodiverse relationship work. They can be hopeful and discouraging. Reading the books will help a little but most couples need to have an experienced professional walk you through the healing and growth process. Aspergers in Love, Maxine Aston Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's Syndrome, Eva A. Mendes Going Over the Edge? Practical Steps to Savings You and Your Relationship, Kathy J. Marshack Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships, Ashley Stanford Alone Together, Katrin Bentley Connecting With Your Asperger Partner: Negotiating the Maze of Intimacy, Louise Weston Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner, Cindy Ariel PhD 22 Things a Woman Must Know: If She Loves a Man With Asperger's Syndrome, Rudy Simone The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder), Tony Attwood Neurodiversity Network https://www.neurodiversitynetwork.net/articles-websites Neurodiversity Hub https://www.neurodiversityhub.org/ Different Brains https://www.differentbrains.org/resources/ Vanderbilt University https://www.vanderbilt.edu/autismandinnovation/neurodiversity-reading-list/ Exceptional Individuals https://exceptionalindividuals.com/neurodiversity/ Neurodiversity at Work https://ndpathways.org/neurodiversity-overview/ Autism Spectrum News https://autismspectrumnews.org/the-superpowers-of-neurodiverse-couples/ Tony Attwood's home page http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/ AANE (Asperger’s Association of New England) http://www.aane.org Autism Women’s Network, Inc http://autismwomensnetwork.org Here are some helpful blogosts, podcasts and articles: GENERAL Neurodiverse Love - Support Groups and Podcast How an Evaluation for Autism Can Reduce Anxiety in Your Relationship The Top 5 Things People in Neurodiverse Couples Should Know Embracing neurodiversity in relationships Are You in a Neurodivergent Marriage? Tips for Women in Relationships with Partners on the Autism Spectrum Lessons from an Aspergers-NT Marriage Neurodiverse PARTNER An Aspie’s Perspective on Neurodiverse Marriage What's so special about a Special Interest? Rules to live by Eye Contact: the Conversation within the Conversation Asking for Help Perfectionism Catastrophizing Sucks! Saying No Neurotypical PARTNER What I've learned in a Decade of Marriage Neurodiverse Marriage: How to Love a Partner with Autism Five Suggestions For Communicating With Your Asperger’s Partner What to do when your partner has Asperger’s syndrome “We need to embrace those who are different and the bullies need to be the ones who get off the bus,.” Caren Zucker, co-author of “In a Different Key”

The “Neurodiversity Magnet”: Many autistic and neurotypical partners feel an immediate and powerful attraction towards each other and their differences. Autistic partners are often admired for their focus, intelligence, and stability, while neurotypical partners are valued for their social skills and support. This can feel like being “pulled together like magnets,

Explore your partner’s autistic traits through both challenges and strengths. A visual tool that builds understanding, empathy, and deeper connection. Autism Trait Wheel Exercise Get Free Template Instructions If you're filling out a wheel for yourself... Look at each wedge and read both descriptions of the autistic trait. Notice that the first describes the challenging side of the trait while the other highlights it's benefits. Color the left half of the wedge red if the challenging side resonates with you and color the right half green if the positive side does. Fill in as much or as little of each half as feels accurate—more rings for stronger traits, less for milder ones. Look at which traits feel challenging and the ones the reveal strengths. Notice how seeing both sides helps reframe the trait in a more balanced way. Share it with your partner or therapist if you want—it can open up clearer, easier conversations about your needs and strengths. If you're filling out a wheel for your partner... Look at each wedge and read the two descriptions of the trait—one showing the challenging side and the other highlighting the positive side. Color the left half red if the challenging side shows up in your partner, and color the right half green if they display the positive side. Fill in more or less of each half depending on how strongly each side of the trait shows up in them—more rings for stronger traits, fewer for milder ones. Notice which traits seem the most challenging and which clearly show strengths. Seeing both sides together can help you reframe the trait and understand your partner in a more balanced, compassionate way. Share the finished wheel together—use it to start a conversation, build appreciation, and strengthen your connection. Example Autism Trait Wheel

Discover how AuDHD traits show up in daily life. A simple visual tool to help partners reframe challenges, appreciate strengths, and connect more deeply. AuDHD Trait Wheel Exercise Get Free Template Instructions If you're filling out a wheel for yourself... Look at each wedge and read both descriptions of the autistic trait. Notice that the first describes the challenging side of the trait while the other highlights it's benefits. Color the left half of the wedge red if the challenging side resonates with you and color the right half green if the positive side does. Fill in as much or as little of each half as feels accurate—more rings for stronger traits, less for milder ones. Look at which traits feel challenging and the ones the reveal strengths. Notice how seeing both sides helps reframe the trait in a more balanced way. Share it with your partner or therapist if you want—it can open up clearer, easier conversations about your needs and strengths. If you're filling out a wheel for your partner... Look at each wedge and read the two descriptions of the trait—one showing the challenging side and the other highlighting the positive side. Color the left half red if the challenging side shows up in your partner, and color the right half green if they display the positive side. Fill in more or less of each half depending on how strongly each side of the trait shows up in them—more rings for stronger traits, fewer for milder ones. Notice which traits seem the most challenging and which clearly show strengths. Seeing both sides together can help you reframe the trait and understand your partner in a more balanced, compassionate way. Share the finished wheel together—use it to start a conversation, build appreciation, and strengthen your connection. Example AuDHD Trait Wheel

See ADHD traits in a clearer, more balanced way. Our visual wheel helps partners understand challenges, recognize strengths, and strengthen communication. ADHD Trait Wheel Exercise Get Free Template Instructions If you're filling out a wheel for yourself... Look at each wedge and read both descriptions of the autistic trait. Notice that the first describes the challenging side of the trait while the other highlights it's benefits. Color the left half of the wedge red if the challenging side resonates with you and color the right half green if the positive side does. Fill in as much or as little of each half as feels accurate—more rings for stronger traits, less for milder ones. Look at which traits feel challenging and the ones the reveal strengths. Notice how seeing both sides helps reframe the trait in a more balanced way. Share it with your partner or therapist if you want—it can open up clearer, easier conversations about your needs and strengths. If you're filling out a wheel for your partner... Look at each wedge and read the two descriptions of the trait—one showing the challenging side and the other highlighting the positive side. Color the left half red if the challenging side shows up in your partner, and color the right half green if they display the positive side. Fill in more or less of each half depending on how strongly each side of the trait shows up in them—more rings for stronger traits, fewer for milder ones. Notice which traits seem the most challenging and which clearly show strengths. Seeing both sides together can help you reframe the trait and understand your partner in a more balanced, compassionate way. Share the finished wheel together—use it to start a conversation, build appreciation, and strengthen your connection. Example ADHD Trait Wheel

Bridge communication gaps with AI-assisted couples therapy. Personalized, secure, and led by experts in neurodiverse relationships. Schedule a free consult today. AI-Assisted Therapy Neurodiverse couples therapy just got a major upgrade. We’ve fused the warmth and wisdom of expert human therapists with the precision of smart AI technology. The result? Unmatched clarity. Deeper understanding. Real connection. Think of it as your therapist, supercharged. You get the insights that will help you bridge the gap and truly see each other. How AI-Assisted Therapy Can Work for You Our secure, confidential AI tools work in the background to support your therapist and empower your growth. Here’s how: 1. Uncovering Deeper Insights & Patterns Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs come from seeing the connections you didn't know were there. Our AI helps your therapist identify recurring themes, communication patterns, and hidden dynamics that emerge over time. Our therapist uses this to help you both move past the surface-level issue and address the core patterns underneath. 2. Tools and Exercises Tailored Just for You No more generic worksheets. Based on the specific themes of your session, our system helps your therapist create personalized homework, reflection prompts, and skill-building exercises. These are tools designed for your unique dynamic, helping you apply what you learn in therapy to your daily life. 3. Empowering Your Growth Between Sessions For those who enjoy exploring on their own, we provide you with expertly crafted prompts to use with your own personal AI tools (like ChatGPT). This is a completely optional way for you to continue reflecting and discovering insights on your own terms, in a way that feels comfortable to you. Your Therapist is Always the Pilot Let's be clear: You are not in therapy with a robot. You are in therapy with a skilled, compassionate human who is an expert in neurodiverse relationships. The AI is simply a powerful co-pilot, handling data and spotting patterns so your therapist can focus on what matters most: you, your partner, and your connection. What AI Cannot Do: Read Nonverbal Cues & Rapport: A computer cannot see a softening posture, a tear, or a sudden change in eye contact. It misses the subtle patterns of connection and the difficulties in building rapport that tell the real story behind the words. Understand Developmental & Cultural Context: While AI processes words, it lacks the deep understanding of the developmental history and cultural background that shape who you are. It often misses the situational nuance—the "why"—behind your behaviors. Provide Normed, Standardized Diagnostics: Common AI tools are not a replacement for truly standardized, validated psychometric instruments. There is currently no valid test administration available through AI. Distinguish Effort from Genuine Barrier: AI can provide a roadmap, but it cannot do the driving. It lacks a qualitative sense of human effort and cannot distinguish between when you are engaging in suboptimal effort versus facing a genuine barrier to growth. The hard work of vulnerability remains yours alone. Offer Clinical Intuity: AI lacks clinical intuition honed by thousands of hours of experience. Relying on it alone creates safety risks: it may minimize symptoms (causing you to delay care) or catastrophize normal issues (causing unnecessary panic). You should know that: Your therapist makes all clinical decisions. Empathy, trust, and human connection remain the heart of our practice. The AI provides data; your therapist provides the wisdom. Your Privacy is Our #1 Priority We know that therapy is a private space, and sharing your story requires trust. Protecting your confidentiality is a responsibility we take very seriously. For those who wants to know more, please take a look at the separate section on security below. Is AI-Assisted Therapy Right for Us? This enhanced approach can be incredibly powerful if you: Often feel like you and your partner are speaking different languages. Want to move beyond recurring arguments and understand the root cause. Appreciate data-driven insights and a clear view of your progress. Are looking for practical, personalized tools to use between sessions. An Innovative Option: Your Choice & Comfort This service is completely optional. We understand that this approach is new, and your comfort is our priority. If you prefer traditional therapy without these tools, we fully support and respect that choice. AI-assisted therapy is a specialized service currently offered by select therapists in our practice who have received specific training. If you are interested in exploring this option, please be sure to mention it when you schedule your consultation so we can match you with the right therapist. Ready to Discover a New Way to Connect? Experience the clarity that comes when human expertise and smart technology work together for you. Schedule Your Free Consultation Today Your Privacy & Security (Powered by Google Workspace) We run every part of our AI‑assisted workflow inside Google Workspace Enterprise—the same cloud platform trusted by governments, financial institutions, and Fortune 500 companies. Here’s what that means for you: End‑to‑End Encryption All emails, files, and AI‑generated transcripts are encrypted while they travel across the internet and while they rest on Google’s servers. Even if someone grabbed a hard drive, they couldn’t read a byte without Google’s multi‑layered keys. No Ads, No Data‑Mining Google contractually guarantees that Workspace customer data is never used for advertising or any purpose beyond delivering the service. Your therapy information stay yours—full stop. Independent Compliance Audits Google Workspace is regularly examined against SOC 2, ISO 27001, GDPR, and more. Granular Access & Audit Logs Only your therapist and a small, security-trained QA team from Google can open your session data. Enterprise AI, Not Public Chatbots Our AI runs inside this locked‑down Workspace environment and never feeds your data back into public models like free Gemini or ChatGPT. When we give you optional self‑reflection prompts to use in your own personal AI tools, we’ll also show you how to do so safely—and what not to share. Want to read the fine print? Google publishes detailed security resources that back all of the claims above, including: Google Workspace Overview of Security Architecture Google Workspace Google Workspace Encryption Whitepaper (how data is encrypted in transit and at rest) Google Services Google Workspace Security Whitepaper (full privacy & compliance commitments) Google Workspace Feel free to dive in—then come back knowing your therapy data is protected by some of the most robust security infrastructure on the planet.

Exercises for Neurodiverse Couples Trait Wheels View the Exercise A visual way to explore your partner’s traits and build empathy, clarity, and connection.

Understand why you run out of energy so you can begin to make change. EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FOR NEUROTYPICAL Defense Mode Why people with Asperger's seem stuck & shutdown so often "Everyone is always doing as well as they can within their personal limitations, their personal history, what they know and don't know and what they're feeling in that moment. If they could make a healthier decision, they would. This includes you." - Carl Alasko, PhD. Not Now, Grandma! Imagine a young soldier crouching behind a rocky outcropping. Bullets are flying overhead and explosions are booming in the distance. She feels trapped. Beneath her mud splattered military fatigues, her arms are trembling with fear and exhaustion. At that very moment, the soldier's elderly grandmother comes hobbling out onto the battlefield. Moving slowly but with purpose the soldier's grandmother walks right up to her granddaughter's hiding spot and says, "Today is the day. It's time for you to learn how to knit! Don't you worry, dear, I've cleared my entire schedule for our appointment today. After all, knitting is such an important life skill and it's time that you learned it!" How do you imagine our soldier is going to react in that moment? She's probably going to yell at her grandmother and tell her to go away, which is perfectly understandable. In that moment, the soldier is already physically, mentally, and emotionally overwhelmed. But how do you imagine grandma is going to react? Well, she's going to feel hurt. She might even get angry and start yelling in return. After all, she is here out of the goodness of her heart to teach her granddaughter how to knit! Usually when you do something nice for someone, the last thing you expect is to get yelled at. The problem here is that for some reason grandma can't see what's going on. Maybe she forgot her glasses back at home or something, but whatever the reason, grandma seems to be completely oblivious to the fact that her granddaughter is standing in the middle of a firefight. But for argument's sake, let's imagine that grandma decides to continue with her knitting lesson anyway. She pulls out the yarn and starts to demonstrate the proper techniques. Well, even if grandma is a very skilled teacher, how effective do you imagine her teaching can really be in that moment? Is the soldier capable of devoting mental and emotional resources to learning and practicing this new skill? Is the soldier likely to remember or internalize anything her grandma is saying to her? Probably not. What Is Defense Mode? This metaphor is an excellent illustration of what we hear at Asperger Experts call Defense Mode. We define Defense Mode as a state of overwhelm in which someone with Asperger's is scared, frustrated, or angry, as well as shut down and withdrawn. When you're in Defense Mode, everything is harder because you're constantly trying to protect yourself from the overwhelming stress of both real and imagined threats that constantly surround you. It could be that five-page English essay, or the long commute home from work where some jerk cuts you off in traffic. It could be sensory issues like an itchy shirt tag or lights that are too bright. You can even get stressed out just from your own thoughts and beliefs, such as a belief that you're bad at math, so why bother studying? You might assume that your parents are tyrants who are trying to manipulate you whenever they ask you to help out with some household chores. In Defense Mode, the world feels like a scary and threatening place. Much like the soldier who is hovering at the edge of fight or flight, a person in Defense Mode is much more likely to interpret a kindhearted invitation to learn knitting as a threatening attack. Thus, when dad comes into the kitchen and says, "Hey, you know the rules, no ice cream for breakfast, what if we have scrambled eggs instead?" This triggers a full on meltdown because that wasn't a casual invitation to eat a healthier breakfast. That was obviously a personal attack! It feels like dad is an angry drill Sergeant rather than a supportive parent. Whenever the stress and overwhelm gets to be too much, Defense Mode will always manifest in one of three ways: fight, flight, or freeze. The person in Defense Mode might get angry and start yelling or they might try to run away, perhaps by escaping into video games or some other distraction. Or, they might shut down as they keep mumbling "I don't know", in response to all of mom's questions, perhaps in the hope that she'll eventually stop the interrogating and leave. How The Nervous System Responds (AKA "The Science-y Bit") Defense Mode is based primarily in your sympathetic nervous system, which is basically your body's version of the panic button. The sympathetic system is your stress response. On the flip side, we have the parasympathetic system. This is known as the rest and digest system. Basically, this is the system that's engaged when everything is cool and calm and there's nothing to worry about. When you are in the parasympathetic system, the job of the nervous system is to just keep everything running smoothly. There's no need to hit the panic button right now. Now, before we go any further, a quick disclaimer: Neuroscience is incredibly complicated. I mean, do you have any idea how many different brain areas and processes are involved just for you to be able to see the color red? So when it comes to neuroscience here, I'm going to explain things simply so simply that it's almost wrong. So if you're a professional reading this and you're thinking, "Oh, well, that's not quite exactly how..." I know, trust me, I understand. My goal here in this article is just to illustrate an idea. So with that said, we now resume our regularly scheduled program. Okay, so we've got two systems, right? Sympathetic is the stress response. Parasympathetic is rest and digest. Now, while these two systems appear to be somewhat diametrically opposed and to some extent they are, they don't necessarily function and interact that way in terms of being like a light switch where it's black and white, all or nothing. Emotional Resource Theory We've all had lots of experience living in that gray scale space somewhere in between where you're not a hundred percent calm, but you're also not stressed to the max, which is a good thing. It makes sense that you should have a more extreme stress response when you're confronted with a hungry lion versus a long homework assignment. Simply put, there are different levels or intensities of your stress response. Put another way, there are different levels of Defense Mode. We call this Emotional Resource Theory and we've divided this spectrum of stress between the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems into four general categories: Day to day, each of us falls somewhere along this continuum depending on the amount of emotional resources we happen to have available. It may help to think of this in terms of money. Let's imagine being in the Nope state is like being deep in debt. I'm talking like hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. At the same time, your income is so small that you can't even keep up with the monthly accruing interest, much less paying down the principal. As a result, you'll probably stay stuck here drowning in emotional debt indefinitely unless you receive some sort of outside assistance or intervention. In terms of emotional capacity, this is like the guy who spends 16 hours a day playing video games in his parents' basement. No job, no school. I mean even the thought of trying to get a job or enroll in school is completely overwhelming. They rarely go outside and if left to their own devices and provided sufficient food, water and WIFI, they would probably stay there on that couch forever. Every day they feel exhausted, frustrated and overwhelmed. The smallest little stressors can trigger intense feelings of fear, anger, and even hopelessness. Defense Mode is a step above that. In stereotypical Defense Mode you're still somewhat in debt, but it's not deep enough to the point that you feel the need to shut down completely and just "nope" out of life. You might still be able to handle school or hold down a job, but barely. Stress, anger and fear is still your default setting most of the time. Meltdowns are still happening on a fairly regular basis and it usually only requires a small to moderate amount of stress to send you off the deep end. Functional is like the money version of living paycheck to paycheck. You're finally out of debt, thank goodness. But there is absolutely no wiggle room between your income and your expenses. You managed to get through most days without too much overwhelm and meltdowns are pretty rare, but since your emotional savings account is basically at zero, any major unexpected stressors will instantly upset that delicate balance you've achieved sending you spiraling back down into a state of Defense Mode. At that point, you have to begin a new, the slow process of digging yourself out of emotional debt in order to get back to a functional state. Additionally, since you're living paycheck to paycheck, you rarely have any extra capacity or resources left over to give to others. You might even feel resentment towards people that ask for your help in the first place. Why can't they just fend for themselves? After all, you're barely keeping your own head above water, so how can you even begin to think about someone else's needs? Thriving is when your income finally exceeds your expenses. It is a state of abundance in which you have plenty of savings in the bank. You still experience stress in life as we all do, but now you have tons of capacity to handle it. You rarely, if ever, get overwhelmed to the, of shutting down or losing your temper. In fact, since you have plenty of emotional resources to spare, you're more than happy to give what you can to help others. When you see someone close to you that might need some help or a listening ear, you're happy to go out of your way to sit with them and support them. You're capable of holding space for their anger and their anxiety without becoming angry or anxious yourself. Most of the time it feels like stress comes and goes very quickly for you, like water off a duck's back and you're able to respond to challenging situations with empathy and calm level headed understanding. (Sidenote: If you'd like to go deeper and understand the biological basis for Defense Mode, read this article on the vagus nerve and why being in Defense Mode and overwhelmed isn't a moral failing.) Getting Out Of Defense Mode Here are 2 small but powerful habits that you can start putting into action right away in order to help yourself or someone else get out of Defense Mode. Now, this is not an exhaustive list and we cover a lot more in-depth techniques in our books & courses, but these are the foundational pieces in which all the rest of the techniques rely on. Number one is decompression time. Have you ever noticed how you tend to feel more cranky or despondent when you're tired and you've had a long day? We tend to go into Defense Mode more when our emotional resources are low, so they need to be replenished in order to come back out of defense mode. Taking time, even just a few minutes away from the business of life to decompress and do some strategic self care is one of the best things you or your child can do to reduce overwhelm and increase your capacity to handle stress. More on handling stress and decompressing here. Number two is about building trust . In a close, healthy, parent child relationship, trust forms the bedrock of safety and effective cooperation. Once sufficient trust is present, Defense Mode naturally starts to disappear, and conversations tend to happen smoothly and easily. On the other hand, when a feeling of trust and safety is absent between you and your child, then the intention behind everything you do or say is suspect. So even the simplest of conversations can quickly spiral down into conflict. There are 4 pillars to building trust, and we discuss them here. We hope this explanation has been helpful to understanding a bit more of why your child might be shut down & overwhelmed. If you'd like to learn more, we have a lot more to teach you in our courses & books. We'd also love to hear from you in the comments section below. We're here to answer any questions we can.