Autism and Sex: Finally, a Way to Understand the Disconnect
- hmotro
- 1 day ago
- 2 min read
At first glance, those "Bedroom Rules" might seem playful or sexy.
But if you’re autistic—or in a relationship with someone who is—they can feel more like a test you didn’t study for.
“Tease each other?” What does that actually mean?
“Keep a steady pace?” Based on whose rhythm?
“Don’t be afraid to experiment?” What if new things feel overwhelming?
For many autistic adults, these kinds of open-ended instructions feel confusing, stressful, or even shame-inducing.
And for their partner, it can feel lonely—like they’re not being met emotionally or intimately.
Both people want to connect.
But the rules aren’t working.
That’s why we created the Autistic Sexual Intimacy Measure (ASIM‑24).
The questions touch on topics most people never talk about.
You’ll see statements like:
“I avoid conversations about sex because they feel too complicated.”
“Certain textures or smells can distract me during intimacy.”
“I sometimes say yes to sexual activity even when I’m uncomfortable.”
“I worry my direct way of speaking sounds rude when I discuss sex.”
It takes about 5–7 minutes—and it can be a turning point.
This isn’t just information. It’s a roadmap.
When you complete the ASIM‑24, you’ll receive a total score that reflects your overall comfort and confidence with sexual intimacy.
But you’ll also get four separate scores—covering sexual knowledge, sensory comfort, consent and boundaries, and relationship communication.
This helps you see where you’re thriving and where you might want to grow.
Understanding your intimacy profile can shift everything.
Instead of guessing what’s wrong or blaming yourself (or your partner), you’ll have a clearer picture of how your brain and body approach intimacy—and how to move forward with more confidence and care.
And if you'd like support as you explore your results, our neuro-informed specialists are here to help you connect the dots.
Wishing you clarity, confidence, and connection—in and out of the bedroom,
Harry Motro
Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center
P.S. Next week, we’re diving into ADHD and sex—why it can be thrilling, frustrating, or both.
Specialties
Autism, ADHD,
Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse)
Blended Families
Somatic Therapies
IFS
EFT
Trauma
Neurodiverse Couples
Personal Experience
Lived through a neurodiverse marriage that ended in divorce, gaining firsthand insight into the challenges of misaligned communication, emotional rhythms, and unmet needs.
Over a decade into a new, hard-earned partnership, navigating the ongoing work of blending families, healing old wounds, and choosing connection over comfort—even when it’s hard.
Brings real-world empathy to couples work, shaped by personal experience with both disconnection and deep repair, offering grounded support instead of quick fixes.
© 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these questionnaires may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers.
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