Heal your neurodiverse relationhip on a couple's retreat with Barbara Lazarony, AMFT, Neurodiverse Couples Specialist Contact: Blaze@BlazeLazarony.com Phone: 707-400-5346 Book free consult with Barbara Neurodiverse Couples' Retreat with Barbara Lazarony Invest in Your Relationship: A Neurodiverse Couples' Retreat Can Help You Connect on a Deeper Level As neurodiverse couples, it can be hard to find time and space to explore your relationship. Our daily routines and responsibilities can get in the way of focusing on what matters most. That's why a couples retreat is the perfect way to carve out time and space to reconnect. It provides a safe, nurturing environment that allows both of you to step back, reflect and create a shared vision for your partnership. Gaining clarity on your feelings, goals, and values can help you each bring understanding, harmony, and an even deeper connection to each other – something worth investing in! Sharing Your Stories One of the most important aspects of any relationship is communication. Neurodiverse couples need to prioritize communication and understanding to build strong relationships. It is important for both partners to be open and honest about their individual needs and feelings, as well as be patient and accepting of one another's differences. Additionally, creating a safe space where each partner can express themselves without fear of judgment or criticism is essential. During a couples retreat, you will have the opportunity to get to know each other more deeply by discovering what makes the two of you unique. This could involve exploring childhood experiences or current struggles; all stories are valid! As a skilled couples facilitator, I will help you identify patterns in communication that might be holding your neurodiverse relationship back from reaching its full potential. Most importantly, I will guide you toward finding common ground so you can feel heard and respected. Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone Together A good couples retreat offers structured activities to facilitate a connection between partners through fun activities like trust-building exercises or creative projects. These out-of-the-box experiences reignite playfulness in the relationship and help people move away from their usual patterns into something new! It is also important for neurodiverse couples to focus on problem-solving together rather than assigning blame or feeling guilty for miscommunications; doing something new can support you in creating a new way of being together. Whether learning to dance together or participating in group discussions, these activities can bring about an understanding beyond words necessary for lasting harmony in any neurodiverse partnership. Creating A Shared Vision For The Future Finally, one of the main takeaways from attending a neurodiverse couples retreat should be gaining clarity on what you both want for the future of your partnership. With this newfound understanding comes a shared vision of what kind of relationship you would like to build - one that feels fulfilling both individually and collectively! It’s also essential to find ways to make time for shared hobbies and experiences that can help strengthen the connection between you in a neurodiverse relationship. Having a clear vision for your future helps clarify your roles within the partnership, which helps create harmony over time. Investing in a neurodiverse couples retreat can genuinely transform your relationship by providing structure and guidance around creating a meaningful connection with each other. It provides an opportunity for growth within yourself too. It gives insight into how both of you as individuals can come together as one unit to create something beautiful - something worth investing in! So, if you are ready to deepen your connection with your partner, let’s book your neurodiverse couples retreat today! ABOUT BARBARA LAZARONY Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, MA is a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #127882, Registered Associate Professional Clinical Counselor #10253, Transpersonal Coach, Certified Trauma Professional, Author & Speaker. Read Barbara's full bio here . Licenses Registered Associate, AMFT #127882 Registered Associate, APCC #10253 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc. Contact Blaze@BlazeLazarony.com Phone: 707-400-5346

Learn why an ASD diagnosis may or may not be helpful and how an adult assessment for Austism Spectrum Disorder is conducted. SELF DISCOVERY Self-Tests to Help Neurodiverse Partners Understand Themselves and Each Other Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Co-Occurring Neurodiverse Screeners HSP , Dyslexia, Rejection Sensitivity, OCD General Screeners Perfectionism , Anger Neurodiverse Relationship Check-Up Trait Wheel Exercises Autism ADHD AuDHD Autism Screeners: General Autism Screeners (Broad Traits) 1. Ritvo Autism & Asperger Diagnostic Scale (RAADS-14) Emphasis on internal experiences 14 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. Autism Spectrum Quotient Test (AQ) Most common screener for Autism 50 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. Additional test for Women: 3. Modified Girls Questionnaire for Autism Spectrum Condition (GQ-ASC) Designed for adult women, it identifies behaviors and abilities in women associated with autism 21 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. Learn more about these tests here. Autism Screeners: Associated Feature Measures 1. Alexithymia (2 screeners) 1a. Online Alexithymia Questionnaire (OAQ-G2) Measures 7 factors related to emotions (see below) 37 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 1b. Toronto Alexithymia Scale (TAS-20) Identifies difficulties identifying and describing emotions, and distinguishing body sensations from emotions 20 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. Burnout (3 screeners) 2a. Autistic Burnout Trait Inventory (ABTI-24) * Measures long-term burnout risk based on masking, stress, health strain, and recovery gaps over the past year. 24 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2b. Autistic Burnout State Inventory (ABSI-24) * Assesses autistic burnout in terms of your energy, sensory overload, masking fatigue, and stamina over the past two weeks. 24 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2c. Autistic Burnout Construct (ABO) Measures signs of Autistic Burnout—a state of intense physical, emotional, and cognitive exhaustion that can result from prolonged masking, unmet support needs, or sensory overwhelm. 8 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. Autism Screeners: Domain-Specific Autism Screeners 1. Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) Detects masking, social compensation, and assimilation 25 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. Adult Repetitive Behaviors Questionnaire-2 (RBQ-2A) Measures repetitive and restricted behaviors in adults 20 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 3. Extreme Demand Avoidance Questionnaire for Adults (EDA-QA) Assesses behaviors often associated with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) —or as some prefer, Persistent Drive for Autonomy —a profile seen in some autistic individuals. Explores regulation, flexible thinking, sensory coherence, and social perspective-taking. 26 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 4. The Monotropism Questionnaire Assesses for features indicating a monotropic cognitive style, the tendency to focus deeply on a limited number of interests at one time. 47 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. ADHD Screeners: General ADHD Screeners (Broad Traits) Recommendation: Take these 4 tests and then book a free consult . 1. Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRSv1.1) Commonly used self-assessment tool for adult ADHD 18 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST) Covers concentration, impulsiveness, disorganization, and hyperactivity 22 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. ADHD Screeners Domain-Specific ADHD Screeners 1. Barratt Impulsiveness Scale (BIS-11) Focus on impulsivity traits 30 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. Copeland Symptom List for Adult ADD Assesses 8 ADHD-related domains 63 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. Learn more about these tests here. ADHD Screeners Associated Feature Measures 1. ADHD Sexual Intimacy Measure (ADHD-SIM-24) * Measures strengths and challenges across four subscales: Attention & Presence, Impulse Control & Risk, Boundaries & Consent, and Relationship Communication & Satisfaction.. 24 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. Co-Occurring Neurodiverse Screeners 1. Highly Sensitive Person Inventory (HSPI-24) * Designed for individuals seeking to better understand their level of sensitivity and emotional/sensory responsiveness. It measures four key traits commonly associated with high sensitivity: Depth of Processing, Overstimulation, Emotional Reactivity, and Sensitivity to Subtleties. 24 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. The Dyslexia Questionnaire for Adults Assesses difficulties with reading, writing, and spelling that indicate dyslexia in adults 13 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 3. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Self-Assessment (RSD-24) * This self-assessment is designed for adults who want to better understand how rejection sensitivity may be affecting their emotions, relationships, and daily life. 24 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 4. Obsessive Compulsive Inventory – Revised (OCI-R) Identifies the presence of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors across six key areas—washing, checking, neutralizing, obsessing, ordering, and hoarding—offering insight into how they may be impacting daily life. 18 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. General Screeners 1. Perfectionism (2 screeners) 1a. Clinical Perfectionism Questionnaire (CPQ) Assesses patterns of goal-setting and self-evaluation to determine clinical perfectionism. 14 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 1b. Frost Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale (FMPS) Measures perfectionism across several dimensions, including concern over mistakes and organization. 35 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. Clinical Anger Scale (CAS) Assesses the severity of anger as a symptom or condition. It can identify individuals who may benefit from anger management strategies or therapeutic interventions. 21 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. Trait Wheel Exercises Three (3) available exercises. Each wheel turns complex traits into a simple visual map of your strengths and struggles. Want a quick overview of these wheels and their purpose? Click here. 1. Autism Trait Wheel Maps autistic traits across sensory processing, communication, focus, and emotional patterns using a dual-lens view of challenges and strengths. Visual Exercise — 12 Trait Wedges Want to learn more about this wheel? Click here. 2. ADHD Trait Wheel Highlights attention patterns, executive functioning, motivation, and hyperfocus while showing both difficulties and corresponding strengths. Visual Exercise — 10 Trait Wedges Want to learn more about this wheel? Click here. 3. AuDHD Trait Wheel Combines autistic and ADHD traits into one map, capturing overlap, contradictions, and the balance of overwhelm and creativity. Visual Exercise — 14 Trait Wedges Want to learn more about this wheel? Click here. Neurodiverse Relationship Check-Up Designed to decode your relationship dynamic. This 12-question screener helps identify unique strengths and pinpoint "translation gaps" affecting communication and connection. Click here. 1. Neurodiverse Relationship Check-Up Not sure what’s right for you? We offer a free consultation to help you figure it out—no pressure, just support. Check out the screeners and learn more at Adult Autism Assessments → Go to the Adult Autism Assesment Center For more self-discovery, join us at the Adult Autism Assessments: Services Overview (including pricing) Screening Tests (at no cost) ASD Assessment ADHD Assessment Dual Assessment (ADHD & ASD) Sensory Assessment Alexithymia Assessment Demand Avoidance Assessment *Disclaimer This questionnaire is designed to offer helpful insights and support self-reflection. It can be a useful starting point to increase understanding and many individuals find it valuable for identifying patterns and starting meaningful conversations—whether with a partner, therapist, or coach. That said, this tool is still in development and has not been validated through formal scientific research. While the questions are based on commonly reported experiences, the questionnaire’s reliability and accuracy have not been formally established. It is not intended to diagnose any condition or replace professional evaluation. For personalized guidance, we encourage you to consult with a neurodivergent-affirming clinician. ©2025 Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, part of the New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this questionnaire may be reproduced, redistributed, or otherwise used without explicit written permission from the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center.

Neurodiverse Communication Counseling: With the help of a trained therapist, couples can learn to recognize their patterns, practice new strategies in a safe space, and strengthen understanding. Therapy that focuses on client strengths is especially helpful for neurodiverse communication as it helps partners identify and build on what they already do well, rather than focusing only on deficits.

Learn why an ASD diagnosis may or may not be helpful and how an adult assessment for Austism Spectrum Disorder is conducted. SELF DISCOVERY Self-Tests to Help Neurodiverse Partners Understand Themselves and Each Other Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Co-Occurring Neurodiverse Screeners HSP , Dyslexia, Rejection Sensitivity, OCD General Screeners Perfectionism , Anger Trait Wheel Exercises Autism ADHD AuDHD Autism Screeners: General Autism Screeners (Broad Traits) 1. Ritvo Autism & Asperger Diagnostic Scale (RAADS-14) Emphasis on internal experiences 14 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. Autism Spectrum Quotient Test (AQ) Most common screener for Autism 50 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. Additional test for Women: 3. Modified Girls Questionnaire for Autism Spectrum Condition (GQ-ASC) Designed for adult women, it identifies behaviors and abilities in women associated with autism 21 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. Learn more about these tests here. Autism Screeners: Associated Feature Measures 1. Alexithymia (2 screeners) 1a. Online Alexithymia Questionnaire (OAQ-G2) Measures 7 factors related to emotions (see below) 37 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 1b. Toronto Alexithymia Scale (TAS-20) Identifies difficulties identifying and describing emotions, and distinguishing body sensations from emotions 20 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. Burnout (3 screeners) 2a. Autistic Burnout Trait Inventory (ABTI-24) * Measures long-term burnout risk based on masking, stress, health strain, and recovery gaps over the past year. 24 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2b. Autistic Burnout State Inventory (ABSI-24) * Assesses autistic burnout in terms of your energy, sensory overload, masking fatigue, and stamina over the past two weeks. 24 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2c. Autistic Burnout Construct (ABO) Measures signs of Autistic Burnout—a state of intense physical, emotional, and cognitive exhaustion that can result from prolonged masking, unmet support needs, or sensory overwhelm. 8 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. Autism Screeners: Domain-Specific Autism Screeners 1. Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) Detects masking, social compensation, and assimilation 25 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. Adult Repetitive Behaviors Questionnaire-2 (RBQ-2A) Measures repetitive and restricted behaviors in adults 20 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 3. Extreme Demand Avoidance Questionnaire for Adults (EDA-QA) Assesses behaviors often associated with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) —or as some prefer, Persistent Drive for Autonomy —a profile seen in some autistic individuals. Explores regulation, flexible thinking, sensory coherence, and social perspective-taking. 26 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 4. The Monotropism Questionnaire Assesses for features indicating a monotropic cognitive style, the tendency to focus deeply on a limited number of interests at one time. 47 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. ADHD Screeners: General ADHD Screeners (Broad Traits) Recommendation: Take these 4 tests and then book a free consult . 1. Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRSv1.1) Commonly used self-assessment tool for adult ADHD 18 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST) Covers concentration, impulsiveness, disorganization, and hyperactivity 22 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. ADHD Screeners Domain-Specific ADHD Screeners 1. Barratt Impulsiveness Scale (BIS-11) Focus on impulsivity traits 30 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. Copeland Symptom List for Adult ADD Assesses 8 ADHD-related domains 63 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. Learn more about these tests here. ADHD Screeners Associated Feature Measures 1. ADHD Sexual Intimacy Measure (ADHD-SIM-24) * Measures strengths and challenges across four subscales: Attention & Presence, Impulse Control & Risk, Boundaries & Consent, and Relationship Communication & Satisfaction.. 24 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. Co-Occurring Neurodiverse Screeners 1. Highly Sensitive Person Inventory (HSPI-24) * Designed for individuals seeking to better understand their level of sensitivity and emotional/sensory responsiveness. It measures four key traits commonly associated with high sensitivity: Depth of Processing, Overstimulation, Emotional Reactivity, and Sensitivity to Subtleties. 24 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. The Dyslexia Questionnaire for Adults Assesses difficulties with reading, writing, and spelling that indicate dyslexia in adults 13 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 3. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Self-Assessment (RSD-24) * This self-assessment is designed for adults who want to better understand how rejection sensitivity may be affecting their emotions, relationships, and daily life. 24 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 4. Obsessive Compulsive Inventory – Revised (OCI-R) Identifies the presence of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors across six key areas—washing, checking, neutralizing, obsessing, ordering, and hoarding—offering insight into how they may be impacting daily life. 18 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. General Screeners 1. Perfectionism (2 screeners) 1a. Clinical Perfectionism Questionnaire (CPQ) Assesses patterns of goal-setting and self-evaluation to determine clinical perfectionism. 14 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 1b. Frost Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale (FMPS) Measures perfectionism across several dimensions, including concern over mistakes and organization. 35 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. 2. Clinical Anger Scale (CAS) Assesses the severity of anger as a symptom or condition. It can identify individuals who may benefit from anger management strategies or therapeutic interventions. 21 Questions Want to learn more about this screener? Click here. Trait Wheel Exercises Three (3) available exercises. Each wheel turns complex traits into a simple visual map of your strengths and struggles. Want a quick overview of these wheels and their purpose? Click here. 1. Autism Trait Wheel Maps autistic traits across sensory processing, communication, focus, and emotional patterns using a dual-lens view of challenges and strengths. Visual Exercise — 12 Trait Wedges Want to learn more about this wheel? Click here. 2. ADHD Trait Wheel Highlights attention patterns, executive functioning, motivation, and hyperfocus while showing both difficulties and corresponding strengths. Visual Exercise — 10 Trait Wedges Want to learn more about this wheel? Click here. 3. AuDHD Trait Wheel Combines autistic and ADHD traits into one map, capturing overlap, contradictions, and the balance of overwhelm and creativity. Visual Exercise — 14 Trait Wedges Want to learn more about this wheel? Click here. Not sure what’s right for you? We offer a free consultation to help you figure it out—no pressure, just support. Check out the screeners and learn more at Adult Autism Assessments → Go to the Adult Autism Assesment Center For more self-discovery, join us at the Adult Autism Assessments: Services Overview (including pricing) Screening Tests (at no cost) ASD Assessment ADHD Assessment Dual Assessment (ADHD & ASD) Sensory Assessment Alexithymia Assessment Demand Avoidance Assessment *Disclaimer This questionnaire is designed to offer helpful insights and support self-reflection. It can be a useful starting point to increase understanding and many individuals find it valuable for identifying patterns and starting meaningful conversations—whether with a partner, therapist, or coach. That said, this tool is still in development and has not been validated through formal scientific research. While the questions are based on commonly reported experiences, the questionnaire’s reliability and accuracy have not been formally established. It is not intended to diagnose any condition or replace professional evaluation. For personalized guidance, we encourage you to consult with a neurodivergent-affirming clinician. ©2025 Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, part of the New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this questionnaire may be reproduced, redistributed, or otherwise used without explicit written permission from the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center.

Expert counseling for neurodiverse couples. Our strength based approach to Autism, ADHD, and AuDHD can transform your relationship. Love on the Spectrum Autism. ADHD. AuDHD. We help neurodiverse couples & individuals connect and thrive. What kind of help are you looking for? Couples Therapy Individual Therapy Autism & ADHD Assessments World's Largest Neurodiverse therapy service. 100% Online. You’ve probably heard of autism. You’ve likely heard of ADHD. But what happens when someone experiences both at once? That’s AuDHD —and it’s more common than many people realize.. What is AuDHD? Learn More about AuDHD How it works Tell Us about You Share a few quick details so we can understand your neurodiverse experience — whether you're navigating autism, ADHD, or both. Get Your Perfect Match We’ll pair you with a specialist experienced in autism , ADHD , or AuDHD — within 24 hours. Start Your Healing Journey! Schedule your FREE consultation and start building the understanding and connection your relationship deserves. 1 2 3 Get Started Now! Use our Trait Wheels to better understand yourself. Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel We are experts in autism , ADHD & neurodiversity . Why risk being misunderstood? Our team understands the challenges that the neurodiverse community faces when seeking help. Autism, ADHD or AuDHD...we dedicate our lives to supporting you. Meet The Team Neuro-Informed vs Traditional Therapy

Autism & Teens ⚡ Hey You — Yeah, You. Let’s Talk. 🧠 Your Brain Isn’t Wrong. The world is just bad at keeping up. If you’re autistic (or think you might be) and you’re a teen, you already know: School, friends, family — sometimes it feels like you’re playing a game where nobody gives you the rules. People act like you’re the problem. Like if you just tried harder, smiled more, blended in better — everything would magically work out. Spoiler alert: You’re not the problem. The system is. And no, we’re not here to fix you. We’re here to team up with you and build something better. 🚀 What Makes Us Different (and Actually Worth Your Time) Look, you’ve probably been sent to a school counselor before. You sit down. They glance at your file. They tell you to “just self-advocate more.” Fifteen minutes later, you’re back in algebra pretending nothing happened. Yeah... no. We don’t do that. You get real sessions — no rushing you through because someone’s watching the clock. You get real expertise — we live autism and ADHD, not just read about it. You get real respect — no weird vibes, no fake smiles, no “just try harder to fit in” speeches. We get you. Not the "you" people wish you were — the real you. 🌟 Meet the Therapists Who Actually Love Working with Teens Some people say they like working with teens. Our team actually means it. We have therapists who are seriously passionate about teaming up with teens who think differently, feel deeply, and see the world in their own way. (And no, they’re not cringey about it.) You'll meet therapists who: ✅ Respect your independence (and your sarcasm). ✅ Know how to listen first — not just jump into advice mode. ✅ Actually enjoy helping teens figure out real-world stuff without making it boring. ✅ Get that autism and ADHD aren’t "deficits" — they’re different operating systems. ✅ Know what it’s like to feel out of sync with the world — and how to build a life that fits you better. You’ll be able to see who feels like a good fit — because therapy works way better when you actually like the person you're talking to. 💬 What We Actually Do Together 👉 Help you explain yourself without feeling like a robot. 👉 Figure out what shuts you down — and what lights you up. 👉 Talk about friends, dating, school, family — the real stuff. 👉 Build skills that make your life easier , not heavier. 👉 Make space for you to be angry, tired, excited, weird — whatever. It’s all welcome here. 🧡 A Quick Note for Parents (Yeah, we know you’re here too.) You’re probably hoping your teen finds some support that actually clicks with them. You’re probably also tired of “programs” that make your teen feel more isolated instead of more confident. We’re not here to erase your teen’s individuality. We’re here to strengthen it. We focus on building real-world skills, healthy independence, and better relationships — without pathologizing who your teen already is. We keep you informed — but your teen’s voice is always the main event here. 🎯 What It’s Like to Work With Us ✅ No rushing. Full attention, full sessions. ✅ No pressure to "act normal." ✅ No lectures. ✅ Real conversations. Real strategies. Real growth. It’s not about fixing you. It’s about helping you build the kind of life where you don’t have to hide. 🌈 Ready When You Are Click here to schedule a free consultation. (Or tell your parents to do it if that’s easier — we won’t judge.) You deserve more than just surviving. You deserve to actually live. And we’re ready to roll when you are. ✌️ Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

🌟 ADHD Isn’t a Deficit—It’s a Different Way of Focusing ADHD isn't about a lack of focus—it's about a focus that operates on its own unique terms. Your ADHD brain is wired to zero in on what excites and engages you, unleashing incredible creativity and drive. But this same strength can also make it challenging to tackle tasks that don’t spark your interest, leaving you (and your loved ones) frustrated and misunderstood. It’s time to rethink ADHD as both a powerful tool and a challenge, and to understand how to harness its full potential. 🧠 The ADHD Nervous System: Unleashing Strengths and Overcoming Struggles The ADHD brain is a powerhouse of potential, driven by an interest-based system that can propel you to remarkable heights or present significant challenges depending on the task at hand. 🌟 The Strength: Hyperfocus and Creativity One of the most powerful aspects of ADHD is hyperfocus —the ability to become intensely absorbed in activities that captivate you. This laser-like focus can lead to extraordinary productivity, creativity, and problem-solving abilities. When your interest is piqued, your brain engages fully, allowing you to dive deep and excel in ways that others might struggle to achieve. 😴 The Struggle: Managing Mundane Tasks However, the same brain that excels in areas of passion can struggle with mundane, repetitive tasks . When a task lacks stimulation or personal relevance, it can feel nearly impossible to complete. This can lead to procrastination, avoidance, and a cycle of frustration where the inability to finish these tasks diminishes your sense of accomplishment and self-worth. 🥶 Another Struggle: Overwhelm and ADHD Paralysis Another significant challenge is ADHD paralysis —a state of overwhelm that occurs when faced with too many tasks or too much information. This mental shutdown can leave you feeling stuck, unable to move forward, and further exacerbates feelings of shame and inadequacy. By understanding these strengths and struggles, you can learn to navigate the challenges while leveraging the incredible potential that comes with your unique way of thinking. 🛠️ Therapeutic Interventions: Using NICUP and MEDS to Thrive In therapy, understanding that the ADHD nervous system is driven by interest allows us to develop strategies that not only manage symptoms but also harness the unique strengths of ADHD. Here’s how we approach it: 💥 NICUP: Aligning Tasks with Your Brain’s Natural Preferences NICUP stands for N ovelty, I nterest, C hallenge, U rgency, and P assion—elements that are key to engaging the ADHD brain effectively: Novelty : Incorporating new elements into routine tasks can keep your brain engaged and focused. We explore ways to introduce freshness into your daily routines. Interest : We help you connect your responsibilities with your personal interests, ensuring that even mundane tasks carry some level of engagement for you. Challenge : Transforming tasks into challenges or competitions can tap into your natural drive, making it easier to stay focused and complete them. Urgency : Creating realistic deadlines or adding time constraints can stimulate your brain’s need for urgency, helping you maintain momentum. Passion : We work to align your tasks with your core passions, ensuring that what you do feels meaningful and motivating. 🧘 MEDS: Building a Foundation for Mental Wellness While NICUP focuses on task engagement, MEDS — M indfulness, E xercise, D iet, and S leep—provides the foundation for overall mental wellness: Mindfulness : Practicing mindfulness helps you become aware of your thoughts and behaviors, enabling you to manage distractions and reduce shame-based thinking. Exercise : Regular physical activity is essential not just for your body but for your brain, helping to regulate mood, improve focus, and alleviate anxiety. Diet : A balanced diet supports brain function and energy levels, making it easier to maintain focus and manage ADHD symptoms effectively. Sleep : Quality sleep is critical for resetting your brain and preparing you for the challenges of the next day. We work on strategies to improve sleep hygiene, which can have a significant impact on your ability to manage ADHD. 💬 Addressing Shame and Self-Worth in Therapy ADHD isn’t just about focus; it’s also about the emotional toll that comes with it. Many adults with ADHD struggle with feelings of shame, inadequacy, and low self-worth because of the challenges they face in meeting expectations—whether their own or others'. In therapy, we work on: Building Self-Compassion : Recognizing that ADHD is not a flaw but a different way of processing the world. This shift in perspective is crucial for healing. Reframing Negative Thoughts : Helping you identify and challenge the negative self-talk that often accompanies ADHD struggles. Creating a Supportive Network : Encouraging connection with others who understand ADHD, so you don’t feel isolated in your experiences. ADHD isn’t about a lack of focus; it’s about focusing differently. The therapy we offer is not just any therapy—it’s specialized and deeply understanding because our therapists don’t just know ADHD clinically—they live it. Our team includes clinicians who are ADHD’ers themselves, bringing a wealth of lived experience to their practice. They understand the unique challenges you face because they’ve been there too. Through this specialized lens, we help you navigate challenges, build self-worth, and harness your unique strengths. Warmly, Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center 📝 Take Charge: Screeners to Better Understand Your ADHD Understanding your ADHD is the first step toward managing it effectively. We invite you to take one or more of the following screening tools to gain deeper insight into your symptoms and how they impact your daily life: 🧠 Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRSv1.1) A commonly used self-assessment tool for adult ADHD, the ASRSv1.1 consists of 18 questions designed to help identify ADHD symptoms. ⚡ Barratt Impulsiveness Scale (BIS-11) This 30-question screener focuses specifically on impulsivity traits, helping you understand how impulsiveness affects your life. 📋 Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST) The SAAST covers 21 questions about concentration, impulsiveness, disorganization, and hyperactivity, providing a broad overview of how these traits manifest. 🧩 Copeland Symptom List for Adult ADD If you’re more concerned with attention deficit rather than hyperactivity, this 63-question screener zeroes in on symptoms related to inattention. Taking these screeners can offer valuable insights and guide you in seeking further evaluation or support. 📊 Stats of the Week Did you know? Prevalence: Approximately 8.7 million adults in the U.S. have ADHD. 1. ADHD Statistics And Facts In 2024 – Forbes Health Underdiagnosis: Many adults with ADHD remain undiagnosed. Studies suggest that less than 20% of adults with ADHD are aware of their condition. 1. Adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic 2. Adult ADHD: Statistics and Facts - WebMD Gender Disparity: While more men are diagnosed with ADHD, women are often overlooked due to differences in symptoms presentation. 1. ADHD in Women - WebMD Comorbidities: ADHD often co-occurs with other mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. 1. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Adults: What You Need to Know - National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) Impact on Work and Relationships: ADHD can significantly impact an adult's career, relationships, and overall quality of life. 1. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Adults: What You Need to Know - National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) Treatment Effectiveness: Treatment, including medication and therapy, can be highly effective for managing ADHD symptoms and improving overall well-being. 1 1. Adult ADHD: Symptoms, Statistics, Causes, Types, and Treatments - WebMD Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

How to Stop an Argument from Escalating—Try the Pause Card Your next argument needs a pause button, not a power struggle. Grab a blank card, draw a giant ⏸, and you’ve built the cheapest relationship tech on Earth. Rule 1: Flash it when you feel the argument tipping over to a fight. Then walk away from each other. Either partner can flash it—no debate, no eye‑rolls, no veto, no chasing. It stops spirals mid‑sentence, before sarcasm turns to scorched earth. Autistic brain avoids sensory overload. Allistic brain sidesteps word grenades. Both nervous systems exit fight‑flight and drop into “buffering.” During the pause, no one problem‑solves, fact‑checks, or doom‑predicts. You breathe. Sip water. Walk three blocks. Pet the dog. Journal your thoughts and feelings. Rule 2: Return only when heart rates are under 100 and voices can fit inside a library. Always return within 24 hours. If your heart rate is still > 100 after 24 hours, return anyway. But tell your partner you're not ready. That you care. That you need more time. But you will come back within another 24 hours. Once you're calm and able to return, the conversation will feel different. The same topic feels like a puzzle, not a battlefield. The "pause" card must be respected. If it's used to avoid, it loses its magic. Respect it and you can turn conflict into connection. Need some hand holding to make this work? Schedule with one of our therapists Because sometimes saving love is as easy as hitting “pause.” Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Get Matched with a Therapist 🔦 Spotlight on Heather Emerson-Young Specialties Neurodivergent Couples Autistic Individuals & Family Members ADHD & Executive Functioning Support Complex Trauma & PTSD Substance Use & Co-Occurring Disorders Co-Parenting Challenges Parenting Twice Exceptional Children Identity & Self-Acceptance Specialist in Neurodiverse Relationships Lived Experience Lived Experience in a Neurodiverse Marriage Mother of Two Unique Children Parenting an 18-year-old and a 13-year-old. Diverse Educational Background – Master’s in Marriage & Family Therapy, degrees in Communication, and a Doctorate in Education Experience Across Multiple Fields – Over five years in nonprofit work supporting the unhoused, LGBTQ+ communities, and individuals with learning disabilities Dedicated Educator – Adjunct professor at community college, undergraduate, and graduate levels Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapist – Using evidence-based and strength-focused approaches to support clients Learn more about Heather! © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Trauma-Informed Neurodiverse Couples Therapy HEAL YOUR TRAUMA AND YOUR RELATIONSHIPS When one or both partners have been traumatized by relationship patterns rooted in their neuro-differences, the partners must overcome two distinct challenges: Heal the trauma , and Understand and build bridges across the neurological differences. Unfortunately, most approaches to Neurodiverse couples counseling do not adequately address the trauma. As a result, couples get stuck in trauma-fed reactive behaviors that keep them stuck. The diagram here explains Trauma-Informed Neurodiverse Couples Therapy as the path to lasting healing. Your therapist or coach will walk you step-by-step through the healing process. Trauma Cycle in Neurodiverse Couples This is the loop that keeps partners stuck. If you don’t interrupt it intentionally, it runs the relationship. Step 1: NT (Neuro-Typical) “Regular World” Reality: Everyday neurotypical norms create unintentional pressure on the ND partner to “be NT.” What it looks like: Rapid back-and-forth talk; reading between the lines; tone policing Unwritten rules about plans, timing, eye contact, social energy “If you cared, you’d just…” expectations across chores, parenting, money, sex, planning Impact: Not malice—just the default water the NT partner swims in. It still lands as pressure. Step 2: ND (Neuro-Divergent) – 1st-Level Coping (Masking) Reality: The ND partner masks to survive home/work demands. What it looks like: Acting “NT” to keep peace; rehearsed scripts; heavy self-monitoring High cognitive load, low authenticity; people-pleasing to avoid conflict Use Red/Yellow/Green capacity signals to communicate bandwidth without a fight Support moves: Masking boundaries: Agree on where masking is optional vs. harmful Spoon budgeting: Plan energy; stop spending spoons just to look “normal” Step 3: ND – Physical Cost Reality: Masking + constant adaptation drain the body. Fatigue hits. What it looks like: Sleep disruption; sensory hangovers; headaches, gut issues, immune dips Rising shutdown risk Support moves: Put Sleep • Food • Movement on a schedule (non-negotiable) Pre-plan recovery blocks, not “if there’s time” Step 4: ND – 2nd-Level Coping (Withdrawal) Reality: The ND partner withdraws to stabilize. What it looks like: Numbness or quiet; fewer words; reduced participation Looks like disinterest; actually a safety strategy Support moves (both partners): NT self-regulate first —don’t pursue while activated Use W.I.N. messages (see tool below) instead of criticism Schedule Critical Time Together (low-demand, predictable, short) Use a Relationship Schedule to kill decision fatigue Step 5: NT Trauma / “Cassandra Syndrome” Reality: The NT partner becomes flooded and feels unheard/rejected. What it looks like: Pursuing harder; “pep talks” that land as pressure; criticism spikes Rejection sensitivity on both sides escalates the spiral Support moves: Name the flood and pause Replace global criticism with specific, time-boxed asks using W.I.N. Step 6: ND – 3rd-Level Coping (Meltdown/Shutdown) Reality: The system tips. Meltdown or shutdown . What it looks like: Meltdown: escalation, overwhelm, explosive reactivity Shutdown: silent collapse, freeze, “checked out” Aftermath: regret, shame, isolation Emergency tools (decide in calm): Early-cue mindfulness (notice body first) Structured Time-Out (10 rules) : how to exit, where to go, how long, how to return Recovery Schedule to re-enter safely Step 7: ND – Trauma Impact (Loop Reset) Reality: Repetition hardens defenses and a failure narrative . What it looks like: “I’m the problem,” constant threat-scanning, distrust, depression/anxiety Living around the cycle instead of in relationship Support moves to stop the reset: Critical Time Apart (planned decompression, not punishment) Structured Exit Process during conflict to protect the bond Withdraw with reassurance (“I’m stepping away to calm, not to leave”) Committed re-engagement at a named time with a clear script Core Tools (Use Across the Cycle) Capacity & Energy Red/Yellow/Green Cards for bandwidth Spoon Theory for daily energy budgeting Communication & Safety W.I.N. Sharing + Response for hard topics (above) Structured Time-Outs (10 rules) for safe exits and returns Early-cue Mindfulness to spot escalation sooner Connection & Rhythm Relationship Schedule (predictable check-ins; low-demand time) Love List (small, specific actions that land for your partner) Critical Time Together (short, consistent, sensory-aware) Critical Time Apart (planned decompression) Recovery & Re-engagement Recovery Schedule after conflict Withdraw with reassurance Committed re-engagement at a specific time with a simple script The W.I.N. Tool Purpose: Clean, concrete communication that reduces overload and defensiveness. It has two sides: Sharing (speaker) and Response (listener). (From your handout.) 1) W.I.N. — Sharing (Speaker) When ____________________ (State your observations as facts —no judgments or mind-reading.) Example: “When I got home Wednesday, dishes were in the sink even though we agreed they’d be washed and put away.” I feel ____________________ (Name feelings, not accusations.) Example: “I feel disappointed, unsupported, and confused.” What I Need / would like to Negotiate is ____________________ (Make a specific, negotiable ask.) Example: “I need us to work better as a team and want to revisit how we share chores.” 2) W.I.N. — Response (Listener) Reflect the “When.” Show you heard the factual observation; use reflective listening. Validate the “I feel.” Example validation frame: “I can see how you’d feel disappointed and unsupported when you came home to unwashed dishes—that makes sense.” Be curious about the “N/Needs.” Ask open questions; invite options and shared problem-solving. Example: “Tell me more about what ‘better team’ looks like. What ideas do you have for chore-sharing?” Non-negotiables: Reflect → Validate → Curiosity (in that order). No fixing, defending, or counter-attacks during Response. The Good News If you change any of the steps above , the cycle begins to change . Pick two tools (W.I.N. + one scheduling or capacity tool) and practice them every day for four weeks . Consistency—not intensity—breaks the loop. Download Below: Trauma Cycle - Neurodiverse Couples -backup 8-12-22.pdf-2 .pdf Download PDF • 132KB Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

The Night We Shattered Listen to my client's story (heavily modified to maintain confidentiality) My wife and I, sprawled on the living room floor, surrounded by the wreckage of a dinner gone wrong. The chicken burned, smoke curling up like a bad omen, while the autism-driven need for routine in me clashed with her frantic improvisation. We’d been fighting—sharp words slicing deeper than we meant—over who forgot to set the timer. Tears streaked her face; my jaw clenched so tight I thought it’d crack. Suffering hung heavy, a third guest at our ruined table. But then she reached for my hand, her fingers trembling, and whispered, “We’re still here.” I exhaled, the tension splintering, and we laughed—raw, messy, real. That night didn’t fix this couple, but it proved suffering isn’t the enemy; it’s the fire we walk through together. 🌟 Suffering: The Uninvited Teacher Suffering barges into every life—no RSVP required. It’s not a glitch; it’s the pulse of being human. We learn the most when the ground shakes beneath us—grit sharpens in the scrape of hard moments. For couples, though, there’s a sneaky script whispering that love should be painless, effortless, a rom-com without the third act twist. But here’s the kicker: suffering isn’t a sign you’ve failed. It’s the raw material of growth. And for neurodiverse couples—say, one autistic partner, one not—it can feel like the volume’s cranked up, amplifying the sting of difference. 🌈 Why Neurodiverse Couples Feel the Burn 🌀 The Myth of “Shouldn’t Be This Hard” Neurodiverse couples wrestle with a double-edged lie: suffering means something’s broken, and their differences make it worse. An autistic partner might crave predictability while the other thrives on spontaneity—cue the friction. They think, “If we were more alike, this wouldn’t hurt so much.” Spoiler : suffering doesn’t care about brain wiring—it’s an equal-opportunity sculptor. 🌪️ Difference Amplifies the Echo When missteps hit—like a missed social cue or a meltdown over plans gone sideways—the gap in how you process the world can feel like a canyon. It’s not pathology; it’s just difference doing its dance. But that dance can trick you into believing you’re suffering because of autism or neurotypicality, not because life is a wild, messy ride. Start Strengthening Your Relationship 💡 Suffering as a Forge, Not a Fracture Poet Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote, “Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage.” Suffering’s the dragon—and how you face it defines you. For couples, it’s not about dodging the flames but linking arms to meet them. It reveals your core: Strip away the easy days, and what’s left is who you are. It bonds through battle: Surviving together carves a shared story no sunny day can match. It’s universal, not personal: Your neurodiverse struggles? They’re human struggles, remixed. Nelson Mandela said suffering turns ordinary people into something extraordinary—if they let it. For neurodiverse pairs, that “letting it” means seeing difference as a co-conspirator, not a culprit. 🛠️ Interventions: How We Help You Harness Suffering 🔍 Neuro-Informed Insight Our specialists get it: autism and neurotypicality aren’t flaws to fix—they’re lenses shaping how you experience pain. We decode those lenses so you stop blaming the wiring and start tackling the real stuff. Think less “Why can’t you just…?” and more “How do we ride this wave together?” ⚡ Practical Tools We don’t peddle fluffy “just communicate” fixes. Instead, we map your unique rhythms—maybe scripting responses for overwhelm or carving out sensory reset zones—so suffering becomes a challenge you master, not a chaos you drown in. 🌟 Reframing the Narrative Our team flips the script: suffering isn’t extra baggage for neurodiverse couples; it’s a chance to build something fierce and rare. We guide you to see each clash as a chisel, not a wrecking ball. 🏋️♂️ Exercise: Facing the Fire Together Grab a notebook or your phone—try this with your partner if you’re brave. Answer solo first, then share. Pinpoint the Pain: What’s one recurring suffering in your relationship right now? Name it—be specific. Feel the Sting: What’s the loudest thought it triggers? (“This shouldn’t be happening” or “If only they were different”?) Flip the Lens: How has this struggle made you stronger—alone or as a pair? Dig deep. Find the Gift: What’s one skill or truth this suffering taught you that you’d never learn in calm waters? Plot the Pivot: What’s one tiny step you could take together to face it—not fix it, just face it? Seal the Pact: Write a one-sentence vow to each other about meeting suffering as a team. Take 10 minutes to try this exercise. No pressure—just honesty. This isn’t about erasing pain; it’s about owning it. 🎉 Closing Punch: You’re Built for This Suffering doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re alive, clashing, growing. For neurodiverse couples, the stakes feel higher because the differences are louder, but so is the payoff. You’re not cursed with extra hurt; you’re gifted with a sharper forge. Step into it together—because the couples who thrive don’t avoid suffering; they wield it. 💬 Ready to wield your struggles into strengths? Click here to schedule your session. Warmly, Harry Motro Clinical Director Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center 🔦 Spotlight on Heather Emerson-Young Specialties and Certifications Neurodivergent Couples Autistic Individuals & Family Members ADHD & Executive Functioning Support Complex Trauma & PTSD Substance Use & Co-Occurring Disorders Co-Parenting Challenges Parenting Twice Exceptional Children Identity & Self-Acceptance Specialist in Neurodiverse Relationships Life Experience Lived Experience in a Neurodiverse Marriage Mother of Two Unique Children – Parenting an 18-year-old and a 13-year-old. Diverse Educational Background – Master’s in Marriage & Family Therapy, degrees in Communication, and a Doctorate in Education Experience Across Multiple Fields – Over five years in nonprofit work supporting the unhoused, LGBTQ+ communities, and individuals with learning disabilities Dedicated Educator – Adjunct professor at community college, undergraduate, and graduate levels Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapist – Using evidence-based and strength-focused approaches to support clients Contact Heather Today! Did you miss the last Blog? Click Here to Read Now! Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Cassie Clayton, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Cassie Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

As a neurodiverse couples therapist, I often hear: "I’m pretty sure my husband is autistic. We’ve tried regular couples therapy and it bombed. He gets mad when I suggest he might be autistic. I feel lonely and desperate for help. What should I do?" 😔 I get it—regular couples was painful for both of you. You're pretty sure he’s not going anywhere near therapy again. But, for some reason, you haven’t given up. So how do I pull him in? How to Get Him on Board 1. Pick Your Moment : Don’t drop this on him when he’s in the middle of his latest hobby deep- dive or when you’re already bickering. Find a chill time when you’re both relaxed. 🕒 2. Highlight the Expertise: Emphasize that the therapist specializes in neurodiverse couples, so he or she understands our unique challenges and strengths. 🧠 3. Focus on Specific Goals: This will not be open ended therapy going nowhere. Talk about the specific goals you both want to achieve, like better communication, less conflict, and more understanding. Therapy is a tool to reach those goals. 🎯 4. Respect His Feelings : Acknowledge that it’s tough to consider therapy, especially if previous experiences were negative. Show that you respect his feelings and are seeking a new approach together. 🤝 5. Small Initial Commitment : Suggest meeting the therapist for just ONE session to see if there is a good fit. Sometimes, just meeting the therapist can alleviate fears or misconceptions. 🛋️ 6. Cost-Benefit Analysis : Compare a 10% increase in happiness for decades to a few hours of failed couples therapy. ⚖️ 7. Respect Autonomy : Reassure him that therapy is NOT about changing who he is, but understanding each other better and finding strategies that work for both of you. 🌟 8. Address Misconceptions : Clear up any misconceptions he might have about therapy. It’s not about laying blame or rehashing past issues—it’s about moving forward positively. 🌈 What’s Actually Different About Neurodiverse Couples Therapy? 1. Therapist Training: Our therapists are trained in neurodiversity and won’t shame, blame, or try to change the autistic or ADHD partner. You’ll both be on the same footing, and it’s about equality and understanding. 👩🏫🤝 2. Decoding Neurodiversity: Our therapist will break down the patterns that show up in a neurodiverse relationship in a way that makes sense. It’s like getting the user manual for your interactions. 📘🧩 3. Rebuilding Communication: You’ll learn how to rebuild communication that takes your brain differences into account. 🗣️💡 4. Sensory Stuff: Our therapists will help you address any sensory sensitivities and how these impact your day-to-day life. It’s like figuring out why certain things drive him nuts and finding workarounds. 👂 5. Emotional & Logic Connection: You’ll work on understanding each other’s emotional and logical perspectives. It’s about figuring out how to connect both hearts and minds, ensuring you’re on the same page emotionally and logically. We won’t prioritize emotions over logic. Both are important!! 💖🧠 6. Real Tools : You’ll get practical tools and exercises to use at home. It’s not just talk—it’s about making real changes that you’ll actually notice. 🛠️🏠 Ready to Give It a Try? Popping the question about couples therapy can be super tough. It's like proposing all over again, but for the sake of your relationship's health. Are you ready to give it a try? 😊 Let's take the first step together. You can book a couple session or book an individual session just to talk about how to ask your partner. We'll figure it out together, and you won't be alone in this. You got this! 💪 Until next time, Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Do You Have Trouble Identifying & Expressing Emotions? Want to see if your behavior is consistent with alexithymia? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take the Alexithymia Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Hi Everyone, Ever feel like you're at war with yourself? 🤯 I do. It’s that frustrating gap between the values you hold dear and the reality of how those values play out in life. For many couples—neurodivergent or not—this misalignment often comes down to how our brains are wired. The challenges aren’t limited to autistic partners. Both autistic and non-autistic individuals can struggle with translating their values into action. Brain wiring, patterns of thinking, and communication styles all play a role in how intentions get lost along the way. Instead of seeing the heart behind the effort, others often focus on the missteps—and that disconnect can be painful for everyone involved. But there’s hope! By understanding how these challenges show up in different ways for both partners, we can start to move past the outcomes and focus on the values that matter most. The Inner Struggle: Illustrating the Conflict Below are two tables that try to capture the inconsistencies we’re speaking about, one for an autistic person and one for an allistic person. Remember, these are not perfect representations, but they can illuminate some common areas of conflict between values and brain wiring.💖 Autistic Internal Conflict Table Values What happens in real life Honesty, Authenticity Everything must be said out loud. Perceived as rudeness and social missteps. Independence, Self-Reliance I resist help when I need it. A partner’s request is perceived as an ultimatum. Perceived as demand resistant. Fairness, Justice Fairness is all-or-nothing . " Perceived as moral rigidity and an intolerance for compromise. Calm, Harmony, Predictability Sensory sensitivity can lead to overwhelm and emotional dysregulation which is the opposite of the desired calm. Perceived as volatile. Deep Connection and Shared Understanding Difficulties in interpreting non-verbal cues. Perceived as disconnected, not caring. Allistic Internal Conflict Table Values What happens in real life Flexibility, Adaptability Prioritize social harmony over authenticity. Perceived as inauthentic, people pleaser. Connection, Shared Experiences Difficulties in understanding neurodivergent communication , resulting in flooding, pursuing, and criticizing. Perceived as overly emotional, irrational, and cruel. Empathy, Compassion The tendency to apply allistic assumptions about emotional expression (assume an emotion is not felt if it is not said). Perceived as judgmental, and self-righteous. Teamwork, Partnership The need for external validation may block progress on projects. Perceived as insecure, needy, and unreliable. Clear Communication, Directness A tendency toward indirect communication and "reading between the lines." Perceived as impossible to understand. The Core Conflict: A Daily Struggle For autistic people , the table above isn't just a list, it's a daily reality. The pull between their values and their neurobiology creates ongoing internal tension and frustration that then impacts how they are perceived. 💔 Likewise, an allistic person 's desire for connection and validation may be at odds with their difficulty understanding different communication styles and neurotypes, and their wiring to use indirect communication. ⚔️ 🌟 Navigating the Inconsistencies At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center , we start by guiding each partner on a journey of deep self-discovery, helping them unpack their own "table" —those deeply ingrained values juxtaposed with the realities of their brain wiring. This process involves carefully examining the internal conflicts that arise when their values clash with how they naturally react and process the world. As partners gain a clearer understanding of their own internal landscape, they can begin to articulate these often-unspoken struggles to each other. By fostering a space where each person can express their internal conflicts and feel truly heard and understood, the pathway to healing opens up.🛡️ 🚀 Internal Conflict Exercise This week, take some time to consider your own "Internal Conflict Table" and ask these questions: Where do your values and brain wiring clash? 🤔 Do you fight this clash or accept it with self-compassion? 💖 How do your values shape your expectations of your partner? 💡 When your actions are misunderstood, how do you respond? 😟 Can you spot when your partner’s actions conflict with their values? 🧐 How can you better express your struggles to your partner? 🗣️ If you're struggling to understand these complexities in your relationship, reach out. We’re here to support you every step of the way towards deeper connection and understanding. Click Here to Schedule! Warmly, Harry Motro Clinical Director 🔦 Spotlight on Monica Attia Specialties Assessment ADHD & Autism support Neurodiverse Couples Eating & Autism Teens Brainspotting / Trauma Internal Family Systems LGBTQIA+ Kink/Poly-Affirmed AuDHD Emotional Intimacy Professional Qualifications Masters of Science, Marriage and Family Therapy - San Diego State University Post-Baccalaureate Psychological Science Program - University of California, Irvine Juris Doctor - Georgetown University Law Center Bachelor of Arts, Political Science - University of California, Los Angeles Life Experience First-generation Egyptian-American, transitioned from lawyer to therapist. Diagnosed with ADHD and autism. Faced pressures to conform culturally and neurotypically, believing that being "normal" was the key to happiness. Discovered that celebrating neurodivergence fosters meaningful connections and embraced it fully. Wouldn’t trade neurodivergence, despite its challenges during childhood and adolescence, because it connects to a community of resilient individuals. Therapeutic Mission Dedicated to supporting and celebrating neurodiverse individuals and couples, fostering spaces where everyone feels seen and understood. Contact Liz Today! Did you miss the last Blog? Click Here to Read Now! Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Cassie Clayton, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Cassie Think You May be Have ADHD? The Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST) may be used to identify adults who may have undiagnosed ADHD Take the SAAST Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

HSP for Individuals Highly Sensitive Person (HSP): A Deeper Understanding Do you often feel overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, or strong smells? Maybe you’ve been told you’re "too sensitive" or that you need to toughen up. If this sounds familiar, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). This trait, found in 15-20% of the population, describes individuals whose nervous systems are wired to process sensory input more deeply. Being an HSP is not a disorder —you won’t find it in the DSM. However, it plays a significant role in how people experience the world. Understanding this trait can transform relationships, helping couples and individuals navigate its challenges and embrace its unique strengths. Not sure where to start? Our free questionnaire was designed to help you understand your level of sensitivity and emotional/sensory responsiveness. It measures four key traits commonly associated with high sensitivity: Depth of Processing, Overstimulation, Emotional Reactivity, and Sensitivity to Subtleties. Take the HSP Questionnaire What is HSP? H ighly Sensitive People possess a blend of qualities that make their experiences in the world different, including: Depth of Processing HSPs process all types of information more deeply than others. They are more reflective, often taking longer to make decisions because of their detailed thought process. This depth of processing includes both conscious analysis of conversations and unconscious gut feelings. Overarousability HSPs notice more than others in any given situation—be it emotions, noise levels, or even subtle smells. This hyper-awareness is advantageous but can also lead to overarousal and stress, especially in overwhelming environments. Emotional Intensity HSPs feel emotions intensely, both positive and negative. This heightened emotional responsiveness makes them empathetic, as they are more attuned to others' feelings. Sensory Sensitivity HSPs are highly sensitive to subtle environmental stimuli, which can help them notice potential dangers but also makes them more vulnerable to discomfort from loud noises, bright lights, or even certain foods. Risk Evaluation HSPs are excellent strategists and tend to plan ahead, carefully evaluating risks before acting. Their sensitivity tempers impulsive behavior, making them cautious adventurers Helping Individuals with HSP For individuals, navigating the world with heightened sensitivity can feel overwhelming, but it also comes with a range of gifts that can be harnessed with the right support. Therapy for HSPs focuses on managing the challenges while celebrating the unique strengths this trait offers. Managing Overstimulation : One of the most common difficulties HSPs face is managing sensory and emotional overload. Whether it's loud environments, chaotic workspaces, or emotionally intense situations, HSPs can easily become overwhelmed. Therapy can provide practical tools for recognizing signs of overstimulation early and implementing coping mechanisms, such as taking breaks, finding quiet spaces, or practicing mindfulness techniques. Building Boundaries : HSPs often feel others’ emotions deeply, making them prone to taking on the stress or discomfort of those around them. Learning to set emotional boundaries is essential for preserving energy and preventing burnout. Therapy can help HSPs develop the confidence to assert their needs in both personal and professional settings, allowing them to protect their well-being without feeling guilty or selfish. Reframing Sensitivity : Many HSPs have been told throughout their lives that they’re "too sensitive" or that their traits are a weakness. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy or frustration. Therapy helps individuals reframe their sensitivity as a strength, highlighting how their empathy, intuition, and emotional intelligence can positively impact their relationships, work, and personal fulfillment. Handling Negative Feedback : HSPs are particularly vulnerable to criticism, which can be felt more deeply and linger longer than for non-HSPs. Therapy can help HSPs develop healthier ways of processing feedback, turning it into constructive learning opportunities rather than internalizing it as a reflection of their worth. Embracing a Rich Inner Life : Many HSPs have a vivid imagination and a deep connection to art, nature, and beauty. Therapy can encourage HSPs to embrace these traits as sources of joy and fulfillment, helping them cultivate practices that nourish their inner world, whether through creative outlets, mindfulness practices, or spending time in environments that inspire them. By working with a therapist who understands the unique needs of HSPs, individuals can learn to thrive in a world that often feels too intense. HSP Overlaps with Other Neurodiversities HSP traits can overlap with aspects of other neurodiverse conditions such as autism or ADHD. For example: Autism : Both HSPs and autistic individuals can experience sensory sensitivities, though for different reasons. Autistic individuals may struggle with processing sensory stimuli, while HSPs tend to process stimuli more deeply on an emotional level. > Is Your Autistic Teen Struggling With HSP? Teens Unmask Therapy Center is our trusted partner practice offering virtual counseling for teens who are autistic or exploring the possibility of being autistic. Many of our therapists are autistic themselves and bring compassionate, specialized support in areas like HSP, communication, sensory overwhelm, and mental health. Our team creates a safe, affirming space where neurodivergent teens can feel understood and empowered. Learn more below: Teens Unmask Therapy Center ADHD : HSPs may experience a similar sense of overwhelm in busy environments as someone with ADHD, but where ADHD might be characterized by difficulty focusing, HSPs are often over-focused on emotional and sensory details. Exploring these overlaps in therapy can help neurodiverse individuals and couples find ways to better understand each other and work together. Is Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) a Disorder? Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), the trait underlying HSP, is not a disorder but rather a natural variation in how the nervous system processes sensory information. While it can coexist with conditions like autism or ADHD, it is distinct in important ways: Empathy and Social Sensitivity : SPS involves high levels of empathy and responsiveness to social stimuli, traits that are often absent in conditions like high-functioning autism. This makes SPS more about deep social and emotional engagement rather than social difficulty. Attention Span : Although HSPs may be misdiagnosed with ADHD, they tend to have good concentration in quiet, calm environments. ADHD typically presents with a more consistent challenge in maintaining attention, regardless of the setting. Despite the challenges of overstimulation and emotional intensity, SPS offers a range of advantages, including heightened intuition, creativity, and empathy. For some, however, the trait can lead to vulnerabilities, such as anxiety or depression, particularly if they feel misunderstood or isolated. Therapy can provide valuable psychoeducational support, helping HSPs navigate these challenges while embracing their sensitivity as a strength. We're here and ready to help! Understand Your Sensory Sensitivity: Get Expert Guidance with Our Sensory Assessment If you’re wondering whether your sensitivity might be part of a broader sensory processing pattern, you may benefit from taking the Sensory Processing Measure, Second Edition (SPM-2) . The SPM-2 is a widely recognized tool used to assess how individuals process sensory information in various environments, such as at home, work, or in social situations. What is the SPM-2? The SPM-2 measures different aspects of sensory processing, including how people respond to visual, auditory, tactile, and other sensory stimuli. It can help identify specific areas where a person may struggle with sensory integration, such as difficulty filtering out background noise or heightened sensitivity to touch. How Does It Relate to HSP? While the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) trait is not the same as sensory processing disorder (SPD) or other sensory challenges, there are overlapping characteristics. Both HSPs and individuals with sensory processing challenges may: Experience overstimulation in busy or noisy environments Feel overwhelmed by certain textures, sounds, or bright lights Require more downtime or space after social interactions However, HSP focuses more on emotional and social sensitivity , along with a deeper level of processing information, whereas sensory processing disorders tend to be more about how the brain interprets sensory input from the environment. How Can the SPM-2 Help? For individuals who are uncertain if their experiences stem from sensory processing difficulties or their HSP trait , the SPM-2 provides valuable insight. Under the guidance of our trained clinicians, this assessment can: Clarify if sensory sensitivities are part of a more significant sensory processing challenge Identify areas where targeted support might reduce overstimulation and stress Guide therapy to address both the emotional and sensory aspects of sensitivity, creating a more holistic treatment approach Schedule Your SPM-2 Assessment Today At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, our clinicians are experienced in using the SPM-2 to help individuals understand their sensory profiles. If you’re interested in exploring how sensory processing might be influencing your experience, we invite you to take this assessment as part of your therapeutic journey. Contact us to schedule an SPM-2 assessment with one of our expert clinicians and start gaining deeper insight into your sensory and emotional world. Contact Us Today! 🧸 HSP in Children vs. Adults Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) traits manifest differently in children and adults due to differences in life experience, coping mechanisms, and social environments. HSP in Children Highly sensitive children often stand out early on. They may: React Strongly to Stimuli: Loud noises, bright lights, or crowded environments can overwhelm them quickly. They may cover their ears or retreat from overstimulation. Be Emotionally Intuitive: Even as young children, HSPs are highly attuned to the emotions of those around them. They can often sense when a parent or peer is upset, even if nothing has been said. Struggle with Transitions: Shifting from one activity to another, like going from playtime to schoolwork, may be particularly hard for HSP children, who need more time to process the change. Require More Downtime: After social activities, these children may need more quiet, alone time to recharge. For children, these traits can be difficult to manage without the right support. Parents and teachers often misunderstand their behaviors as shyness or moodiness, leading to feelings of frustration or isolation. Early intervention—whether through parenting strategies, school accommodations, or child therapy—can make a significant difference in how an HSP child learns to manage their sensitivity. HSP in Adults As adults, HSPs have often developed coping strategies for navigating their sensitivity, though the challenges remain. Adult HSPs may: Have Better Emotional Regulation: Over time, many HSPs learn how to recognize their emotional triggers and manage them more effectively. They might still feel deeply, but they’ve often developed ways to avoid being overwhelmed by these feelings. Face Workplace Challenges: HSP adults might find office environments particularly draining, especially if they involve a lot of noise, social interaction, or pressure to multitask. However, their sensitivity can also make them excellent problem-solvers and creative thinkers. Maintain More Balanced Relationships: With age, adult HSPs can better communicate their needs in relationships. They are likely to seek out supportive, understanding partners who respect their sensitivity. Still Require Alone Time: Just like in childhood, HSP adults need time to recharge after social interactions or stressful environments. They may schedule alone time or quiet activities to prevent burnout. The key difference between HSPs in childhood and adulthood is the level of self-awareness. Adults are typically more equipped to recognize their own needs and assert them, whereas children rely more on parents or caregivers to create supportive environments. Therapy can help both children and adults find the best ways to thrive in their personal and social environments. 5 Great Books on HSP The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron - The essential guide to understanding HSP traits and learning how to embrace them. Learn more The Highly Sensitive Person in Love by Elaine Aron - A must-read for HSPs navigating love and relationships. Learn more The Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff - Practical strategies for managing emotions and boundaries as an HSP or empath. Learn more Quiet by Susan Cain - An exploration of introverts, many of whom share HSP traits, and how to thrive in a noisy world. Learn more The Highly Sensitive Parent by Elaine Aron - For HSPs who are navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood. Learn more Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel