Meet Sara and Mark. Mark is autistic and, in our third therapy session, his struggles with alcohol became the BIG topic of discussion. For years, alcohol use sent their relationship on a rollercoaster of misunderstandings and pain. Whenever Sarah’s parents visited or Mark’s work became overwhelming, Mark would secretly drink. However, it wasn’t secret enough. Sarah would pick up on subtle clues, confront Mark, who would feel defensive and ashamed and would completely shut down. Sarah never understood why Mark drank and viewed his struggle as a personality flaw. Mark didn't want to drink, yet he couldn't find another way to cope. And he hated Sarah telling him what to do. It was painful for both of them! Fortunately, they didn't give up. Instead, they tried neuro-informed therapy. In our work together, they could finally stop blaming each other and take a deeper look at themselves. They learned to look beyond the alcohol to the underlying stressors. Eventually, they quit seeing each other as the enemy and started working towards an addiction-free relationship. Surprising Stats 📊 When it comes to substance use and autism, the conversation is far from straightforward. A recent study by the Autism Research Centre in Cambridge examined this issue using a mix of surveys and in-depth responses. Here's what they found: Less Frequent Autistic Use: Only 16% of autistic adults reported drinking on three or more days per week, compared to 22% of their non-autistic peers. Just 4% of autistic adults reported binge-drinking, compared to 8% of non-autistic adults. Male & Female #’s: Autistic males are less likely to have ever smoked or used drugs compared to non-autistic males. There were no significant differences in substance use patterns between autistic and non-autistic females . B ehind the Numbers: The Real Story of Autism & Addiction 🗣️ Despite the lower rates of substance use overall, the qualitative data tells a different story: Self-Medication: Autistic individuals were nearly nine times more likely to use recreational drugs to manage autism-related symptoms like sensory overload and mental focus . Many also used substances to mask their autism, a practice known as camouflaging. Mental Health: Autistic adults were over three times more likely to use substances to manage mental health symptoms, including anxiety, depression, dealing with past trauma, and suicidal thoughts . While some found relief and reduced their prescribed medication doses, others faced significant risks. High Risk: Autistic individuals are over four times more likely to report substance use related to dependence and managing suicidal thoughts . Working Together in Neurodiverse Couples Therapy for Addiction 🤔 Here are five key insights and steps to support your relationship: Recognize the Overlap 🔀: Understand that autistic partners may use substances to cope with sensory overload, social anxiety, or other challenges. A cknowledge this unique interplay between autism and addiction, how it shows up in your relationship, and break the shame cycle which is based on misunderstanding. Personalized Treatment Plans 📝: Develop both individual and couples treatment plans that consider the specific needs of the autistic and allistic partners. This may include sensory-friendly environments and transparent addiction recovery plans. Developing Shared Language 💬 : For neurodiverse couples dealing with addiction, creating a shared language is crucial. This includes practicing "recovery check-in’s" where partners discuss their progress and setbacks. I t's important to differentiate between a slip (a single instance of substance use) and a relapse (a return to previous patterns of substance use). By fostering clear communication, couples can address feelings of shame and vulnerability openly, which helps in supporting each other through recovery. Professional Support 🩺: Work with our therapists who are experienced in both autism and addiction. Specialized strategies tailored to neurodiverse couples can be more effective. Build a Support Network 👥: When appropriate, engage family and friends in the treatment process. Their support creates a stable environment crucial for recovery. Alternative Coping Mechanisms 🌟: Encourage healthy coping mechanisms, such as hobbies or physical activities, that provide relief without substance use. Stay Connected 💬 We're here to help you navigate the complexities of neurodiverse relationships. If you have any questions or need support, don't hesitate to reach out. Let's continue to learn and grow together! Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Think You Might be on the Autism Spectrum? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take the RITVO Diagnostic Scale Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Autism and ADHD in Asian communities I’m Jenny—Chinese American, bilingual in Mandarin and English, and neurodivergent. I know what it’s like to grow up in a culture where therapy is shunned. In my Chinese and Taiwanese culture, therapy is often seen as a sign of weakness or a source of shame—something that causes a person to "lose face." Self-reflection may feel like betrayal. I spent years trying to fit into 2 cultures, staying quiet, and keeping the peace. That mindset cost me my energy and parts of myself I’m still reclaiming. Now I work with clients who are tired of masking, tired of translating their needs, and tired of being misunderstood—even by people they love. If you’re neurodivergent and Asian, you’ve probably felt caught between two worlds as well. Honor your culture, or honor your nervous system. I’m here to tell you: you don’t have to choose. Collaborate and celebrate. Our team— Lea Choi , Daniel Chung , Maring Higa , Nancy Rushing , and me —brings lived experience with Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese, Filipino, and Korean cultures. We also have lived experience with Autism, ADHD, AuDHD, and the relationship challenges that come with different ways of processing the world we live in. If you feel like you're not "enough" in your own skin, you're not alone. We don’t do stereotypes. We don’t do shame and blame. We do neuro-informed therapy, cultural context, and practical tools for building connection. We do it in a way that doesn’t cost you your identity. Ready to be seen, heard, and understood? 👉 Schedule a confidential consult Warmly, Jenny Pan Culturally Sensitive Therapist for Neurodivergent Clients at Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Learn more about Jenny! Get Matched with a Therapist © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Making the Holidays a Win for Neurodiverse Couples The holidays are here — lights, gatherings, music, traditions... For some couples, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. For others, especially those in neurodiverse relationships , it can feel like walking into a minefield. Take Sarah and James. Sarah’s idea of holiday magic was non-stop socializing. James, who is autistic, felt his energy drain with every party invite. By Christmas Eve, Sarah felt abandoned, and James was burned out. Sound familiar? This season, it doesn’t have to go this way. 🎁 The Struggles Are Real—But Fixable Holidays mean extra sensory overload, social expectations, and unspoken assumptions. For autistic partners, loud gatherings, surprise events, or last-minute changes can create a meltdown. For allistic partners, the lack of enthusiasm or perceived “shutdown” can feel isolating. Add holiday traditions into the mix, and it’s easy to see how good intentions can morph into conflict. But here’s the good news: understanding and planning can make a huge difference. 🌟 Why Holidays Feel Different in Neurodiverse Couples For neurodiverse couples, the holidays magnify existing dynamics: Autistic partners often focus on consistency, structure, and recovery time. Unscheduled gatherings or unclear expectations can feel chaotic. Allistic partners might value spontaneity, connection, and tradition . A lack of engagement can feel personal. Instead of labeling these differences as “wrong,” therapy can help couples see them as strengths. 🕯️ Connection Over Perfection Here’s what matters: connection doesn’t have to look like perfection. For Sarah and James, the solution wasn’t attending every holiday party together. It was building a shared plan: Sarah hosted a Friendsgiving, and James stayed home to recharge for the family event they both prioritized. This year, embrace the fact that neurodiverse love looks different — and that’s beautiful. ✨ The Gift of Interventions: How can our neuro-informed specialists help? Customizing Connection Plans: We’ll help you identify how much socializing works for both partners. Together, we create a game plan that respects everyone’s needs. Teaching the Power of Scripts: We offer strategies like prepared phrases for exiting conversations, saying no to extra gatherings, and avoiding awkward moments. Addressing Sensory Needs: Let’s talk about your holiday environments. Our therapists guide couples to set up calm zones or use tools like noise-canceling headphones during high-sensory events. Building Emotional Fluency: Misunderstandings spike when stress rises. We’ll teach both partners how to communicate what’s happening internally, without blame. These tailored tools go beyond generic advice. They’re designed to meet your unique needs as a neurodiverse couple. 🎉 Want Personalized Holiday Tools? Let’s Talk! Our team of neuro-informed couples counselors are here to help you navigate the season with clarity and care. Whether you’re looking to reduce holiday stress or deepen your connection, our neuro-informed specialists can help. Click here to schedule your session today. Warm wishes, Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center 🔦 Spotlight on Whitney S. Specialties and Certifications Neurodiverse Couples Specialist Neurodiverse Parenting Specialist Life Transitions Postpartum Depression Birthing Trauma Spirituality/Christianity Grief and Loss IEPs/Special Education LGBTQ+ - Affirming Parenting Life Experience Diagnosed with ADHD at age 17 Married 23 years to neurodivergent husband Proud mother of 3 neurodivergent kids: age 21 Autism/ADHD/twice exceptional, age 18 ADHD, age 13 Autism/ADHD Proud mother to LGBTQ+ identifying kids Care giver to 2 parents diagnosed with cancer through treatment end of life Contact Whitney Today! Did you miss the last Blog? Click Here to Read Now! Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Cassie Clayton, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Cassie Think You May be Have ADHD? The Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST) may be used to identify adults who may have undiagnosed ADHD Take the SAAST Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Are you desperately hoping to work on your neurodiverse relationship but worried that traditional weekly therapy just won't be enough? With sessions spread over months, progress can feel glacial. And hope gets zapped between sessions. Also, whoever said that one hour a week is always the best formula for therapy? 🔄 The Retreat Relationship Reset What if you could spend 3 days (with lots of breaks!) where you could reset your relationship? Like rebooting your computer!? At our neurodiverse couples retreats, you can: Reset your profound misunderstandings of neurodiversity and each other Get some therapy momentum going Secure buy-in to a healing roadmap from both partners Build a foundation to rebuild your relationship in a new way 🚫 Overcoming Objections Attending a retreat is a big decision. We usually hear some strong objections that sound like: How can I fit this in my schedule? 🗓️ When you do the math, a marriage retreat, often over a weekend, may be easier to fit into your schedule than the total time and logistics involved with going to an equal number of hours of weekly therapy. 🎯 It’s a big commitment. Maybe too big! Research shows that more commitment usually leads to higher motivation and better results. Yes, it is a big commitment. But on the other hand, if you make the commitment, it can set you on a much better path. 🤔 This sounds way too intensive. I'm autistic! Will I be able to handle it? We use the words “couples retreat” and not “couples intensive” for a reason. We are flexible with our agenda and slow things down as much as necessary, with lots of check-ins and breaks to give you a chance to reset your nervous system. 📝 What will actually happen during the retreat? Good question! Check out this sample schedule . 🏠 We can't afford the travel plus the cost of therapy. Virtual Retreats: Many couples love attending via Zoom. You’re in the comfort of your home, with no travel costs, extra planning, or added expenses. You get the same personalized attention and specific tools for success as an in-person retreat. In-Person Retreats: If it works in your budget, our getaways allow couples to escape everyday life and focus solely on reconnecting. The change of scenery helps you disconnect from stress and dive deep into the retreat experience. It’s about resetting in a new environment, fostering deeper connections, and learning new relationship skills. I’m afraid we’ll invest all this time and then fizzle out. 🔥 You’ll have the tools and strategies from the retreat to empower you to develop skills for self-awareness, understanding, acceptance, and communication. We’ll give you an individualized action plan that meets the needs of your relationship. We also encourage you to book ongoing regular therapy sessions with your retreat therapist so you can continue your momentum! 🌟 Ready to Take the Next Step? Why wouldn't you want someone who really understands you?! Whether you choose a virtual or in-person retreat, the Neurodiverse Couples Retreat Center is here to support you. We're the only retreat designed for neurodiverse couples run by neurodiverse specialists. Visit www.neurodiverse-retreat.com to learn more and book your retreat today! With hop for your growth and connection, Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Do You Struggle to Recognize and Express Emotions? Want to see if your behavior is consistent with alexithymia? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take the Alexithymia Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Imagine this: He feels trapped, yet he loves her deeply. Inside, his thoughts spin: “I have to be who she wants me to be. If I don’t, she’ll leave.” As he learned in his childhood, he pushes his deeper needs aside, bending over backward to make her happy. But his efforts never seem to land. She takes the bait , frustrated and disappointed, thinking: “Why can’t he just be strong and confident? Why does everything feel so shaky?” Deep down, she doesn’t realize she’s replaying the wounds of her childhood. She grew up feeling unprotected and craves security in her partner. The harder he tries to please, the more she feels let down—and the more critical she becomes. They both fall for their partner's bait and bite the hook !! Now they are HOOKED to each other in a painful dance where each partner’s wounds fuel the other’s, keeping them locked in a toxic cycle. But what if they could see the pattern and start to unhook? 🔍 What is a Hook and a Fit? Every relationship has a dynamic—a unique combination of ways that they hook and ways they fit . A Hook is the dysfunction that keeps a couple stuck in a painful cycle. It’s rooted in emotional wounds, past trauma, and unmet needs. A Hook feels like the glue holding the relationship together, but it’ Eventually becomes the thing pulling it apart. In the example above, the Hook was: Insecurity disguised as pleasing : One partner sacrifices their own needs to gain approval. Criticism masking fear : The other partner uses judgment to cover up feelings of vulnerability. Unhealthy cycles of conflict : Arguments repeat without resolution, leaving both partners feeling misunderstood. On the flip side, a Fit is where the relationship thrives. A Fit is the connection that feels natural and fulfilling. It’s where strengths align, and the relationship becomes a space for growth and support. Moments of Fit might include: One partner’s calm balancing the other’s energy. Each person brings unique strengths that make the relationship stronger. Feeling genuinely seen, supported, and valued. Therapy helps you unhook from your Hooks and amplify where you Fit , creating a relationship that feels secure and healthy. 💔 The Painful Power of Hook The hardest part about Hook is how convincing it feels. It tricks you into believing it’s the connection holding your relationship together. In reality, it’s a dysfunctional cycle that’s keeping you stuck. Take our example: His Hook : “I need her approval to feel worthy. I can’t be myself with her.” Her Hook : “I need him to be strong so I can feel secure. When he tries to please, I feel abandoned.” Each partner’s Hook reinforces the other’s pain. His insecurity feeds her frustration. Her criticism deepens his fear of rejection. It’s familiar, and familiarity can keep you together, even when it’s hurting both partners. But seeing the Hook for what it is creates the first step toward freedom. Click Here to Schedule! 🧩 The Beauty of Fit Fit is where the magic happens. It’s the part of your relationship that feels like a true partnership. For neurodiverse couples, Fit might look like: Respecting each other’s differences as strengths, not deficits. Learning how to communicate in ways that feel safe and clear. Showing up for each other in ways that build trust and connection. When you focus on your Fit , your relationship becomes a place where both partners feel valued and empowered. 🚀 How Our Neuro-Informed Specialists Can Help At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, we specialize in helping couples unhook from toxic dynamics and strengthen their Fit . Here’s how we support you: Identify Your Hook : We help you recognize the emotional wounds and patterns driving your conflict. Unhook the Dysfunction : Learn to break free from unhealthy cycles with tailored strategies. Amplify Your Fit : Build on the strengths that already exist in your relationship. Improve Communication : Develop tools designed specifically for neurodiverse couples. Empower Individual Growth : Work on personal healing to show up as your best self in the relationship. We go beyond surface-level advice to create meaningful, lasting change for your unique relationship. 💡 Exercise: Finding Your Hook and Fit Use this exercise to gain clarity and begin shifting your dynamic: Recognize the Hook : What unhealthy pattern keeps you stuck in conflict? Write down how it shows up for you and your partner. Trace the Origin : Reflect on where your Hook comes from. Is it tied to a past experience or unmet need? Pause the Cycle : Next time you feel triggered, take a moment to stop and observe the pattern instead of reacting. Name Your Fit : Identify one strength in your relationship where you and your partner complement each other. Build the Fit : What can you do to nurture that strength and create more moments of connection? Collaborate for Change : Discuss with your partner one small step you can each take to unhook the Hook and amplify your Fit . 🔑 From Hook to Fit: Transform Your Relationship Unhooking from a Hook takes courage and effort, but it’s one of the most freeing things you can do. When you stop clinging to the dysfunction, you create space for something healthier. Your Fit is what makes your relationship thrive—a space for growth, connection, and mutual support. The journey starts with awareness and a willingness to change. 💬 Ready to break free from the cycle? Click here to schedule your session. Warmly, Harry Motro Clinical Director Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center 🔦 Spotlight on Nancy Rushing Specialties and Certifications Neurodiverse Couples Specialist ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, Sensory Sensitivities and Processing Sex Anxiety and Depression Parenting Children (Neurodivergent and Neurotypical) Social Anxiety Intimate Partner Abuse Perfectionism/High-Achievement Grief Chronic Illness/Caregiving Support Life Experience Experience as a neurodivergent individual Parent of two highly sensitive children Born and raised in the South—in Louisiana and Texas—by immigrant Chinese parents, both of whom are neurodivergent. Experienced various neurodiverse relationships through family, friends, partnerships, teaching, parenting and counseling. I have been an Early Childhood Educator for over 10 years with direct experience working with children ages 4-17. Before attending graduate school, I was a stay-at-home parent for 8 years. I have been teaching yoga since 2011 and enjoy creating classes that bridge the mind-body connection in yoga with psychoeducation. Contact Nancy Today! Did you miss the last Blog? Click Here to Read Now! Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Cassie Clayton, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Cassie Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Neurodiverse Couples Retreats WHAT IS A NEURODIVERSE COUPLES RETREAT? If you are in a neurodiverse relationship and feel like you need significant support, you're in the right place. Our Neurodiverse Couples Retreat offers private, personalized therapy sessions designed specifically with you and your partner in mind. This isn’t a group retreat – every aspect is tailored to address the unique dynamics of your relationship , ensuring you receive the focused attention and care you deserve. Whether you prefer remote sessions or an in-person experience , we provide a customized environment to help you reconnect and grow. Jumpstart Your Relationship Our retreats offer an opportunity to jumpstart your relationship in ways that weekly therapy often cannot. To maintain the progress you make, we also offer ongoing support after the retreat, helping you sustain and build upon your momentum. Our Team Our team consists of experts in neurodiverse relationships , trained to understand the nuances of autism, ADHD, and other neuro-differences. We recognize how these differences influence relationships and approach each couple with empathy and expertise. Unlike traditional therapists who may inadvertently try to fit neurodivergent partners into a neurotypical mold, we celebrate and work with the strengths of neurodiversity. Our specialists are skilled at getting to the heart of the matter quickly, providing insight and guidance that can transform your relationship. Flexible and Accessible We know you live a busy so, so we offer multiple retreat options to fit your schedule. Online couples therapy intensives are a powerful alternative to weekly sessions. A one-day retreat can serve as a valuable tune-up, while a three-day retreat can achieve the equivalent of three months of therapy in just a few focused days. If you’re ready to embrace a new path forward and rediscover the beauty in your neurodiverse partnership, we invite you to learn more and take the first step toward meaningful change. Click the link below to visit our dedicated site, Neurodiverse Couples Retreats , and explore everything our retreats have to offer! Visit Neurodiverse Couples Retreats Top 5 Frequently asked questions 1. Who are these retreats for? Our retreats are specially designed for Neurodiverse couples. You can read all about "neurodiversity" and our imperfect attempt at describing it at our parent site, the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center . We also welcome all types of relationships: married, partnered, engaged, or even just dating And all genders: female male non-binary And all combinations of the above! 2. Will other couples be involved? No. These are private therapy sessions, not small group retreats. 3. What happens at the retreat? Well, that depends on what your unique set of needs are but here is a SAMPLE healing schedule: ASSESSMENT AND PLANNING Review your background so we understand the challenges. We do this based on the intake forms you will complete before the retreat. Clarify your goals and build a healing and growth roadmap. Learn to identify and understand your differences with a focus of appreciating strengths and supporting areas where each of you struggle. NEURODIVERSE FUNDAMENTALS Communication across the neurodiversity divide Setting neurodiverse-sensitive boundaries Time together and apart Finding new ways for connection WORK ON PATTERNS Identify triggers from past wounds and learn new strategies to cope in a better way. Break old patterns that are based on misunderstanding your brain differences. Work to build new health patterns with a neurodiverse-aware approach. HEALING TRAUMA Identify emotional wounds that are rooted in: your current relationship and your childhood. Work on healing and forgiveness of wounds. APPLICATION TO EVERY DAY ISSUES Kids Work Money Sex Travel / Vacation In-laws Sleep POST-RETREAT PLANNING Build a support system in the relationship and for each person. Build a relationship vision that recognizes the strengths and challenges of your neurodiversity. Construct an on-going maintenance plan for after the retreat. Please know that: We NEVER cover all the topics listed above but jointly figure out what would be most helpful to you. Every therapist will have her own variation on the sample approach shown above. 4. When does the retreat occur? Since the retreats are for one couple at a time, we work to make it fit your schedule. 5. Why should we attend? Online couples therapy intensives are a compelling alternative to weekly couples therapy. For example: Our 1 day retreat can serve as a serious tune-up for your relationship, and. Our 3 day retreat is the equivalent to 3 months of therapy in just a few days. In a focused and concise way, our highly trained neurodiverse couples specialists get to the heart of the matter quickly and with great care. We utilize neurodiverse-sensitive methods to give you the best chance at understanding and healing what’s not working in your relationship. We Offer Virtual & In-person Retreats VIRTUAL: Join the retreat virtually from the comfort of your home. IN-PERSON: Or fly to California for a true retreat getaway. Ready to change your relationship and improve your overall quality of life? Visit Neurodiverse Couples Retreats Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Seniors & Autism UNDERSTANDING AUTISM IN SENIORS We specialize in providing compassionate therapy services for individuals with neurodiverse conditions, including autism. Our experienced therapists are dedicated to supporting seniors who are on the autism spectrum, acknowledging the unique challenges they may face. In this section, we will explore the symptoms of autism in seniors, how it can impact their relationships, and how psychotherapy can be a valuable resource. SYMPTOMS OF AUTISM IN SENIORS Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition that manifests differently in individuals. While it is commonly associated with childhood, autism can persist throughout a person's life, including their senior years. In seniors, autism symptoms may become more pronounced due to age-related changes and additional stressors. These symptoms can vary but may include: Difficulty with social interactions and communication. Sensory sensitivities or sensory overload. Repetitive behaviors or restricted interests. Challenges with executive functioning and organization. Emotional regulation difficulties. Sensitivity to changes in routine or environment. Impaired perspective-taking or theory of mind. Difficulty expressing needs and emotions. Increased vulnerability to anxiety and depression. Sensitivity to social expectations and misunderstandings. It is crucial to approach these symptoms with empathy, recognizing that each individual's experience of autism is unique. Ready to Get Started? Click Here! IMPACT OF AUTISM ON SENIORS IN RELATIONSHIPS Seniors with autism may face additional complexities within their long-standing relationships. The unique challenges that autism presents can impact both the autistic individual and their partner. These challenges may include: Communication barriers and misinterpretation of intentions. Difficulty understanding and reciprocating emotional cues. Differences in social preferences and need for solitude. Sensory sensitivities that affect shared activities and outings. Challenges in adapting to changes or transitions. Struggles with sharing responsibilities and household routines. Increased susceptibility to anxiety or depression, affecting the overall relationship dynamics. Navigating the balance between independence and interdependence. Support and understanding from family and friends. Building a strong foundation of trust and empathy. HOW PSYCHOTHERAPY CAN HELP AUTISTIC SENIORS Psychotherapy, also known as talk therapy, can provide invaluable support for autistic seniors, helping them navigate the complexities of their condition and improve their overall well-being. Here are ten specific ways that psychotherapy can benefit seniors on the autism spectrum: Developing effective communication strategies and social skills. Exploring and managing sensory sensitivities in various environments. Enhancing emotional regulation and stress management techniques. Building self-awareness and understanding of one's strengths and challenges. Addressing anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns. Developing coping mechanisms for handling changes and transitions. Establishing routines and organizational strategies to promote independence. Setting realistic goals and working towards personal growth. Strengthening self-advocacy skills and enhancing self-esteem. Providing a safe space for processing emotions and building resilience. HELP FOR SENIORS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN AUTISTIC PARTNER When one partner in a relationship is autistic, psychotherapy can play a crucial role in supporting both individuals and fostering a healthier and more fulfilling connection. Here are ten ways that psychotherapy can help seniors in a relationship where one partner is autistic: Improving communication and fostering understanding between partners. Enhancing empathy and perspective-taking skills. Assisting the neurotypical partner in understanding and accommodating the autistic partner's unique needs. Facilitating open and honest conversations about expectations and boundaries. Developing strategies to navigate sensory sensitivities and create a comfortable environment for both partners. Addressing any emotional challenges or conflicts that may arise due to the impact of autism on the relationship. Building strategies to manage stress and anxiety within the relationship. Assisting in creating a balanced routine that meets the needs of both partners. Providing guidance on supporting the autistic partner's independence while maintaining a strong bond. Offering a safe space for both partners to express their concerns, fears, and aspirations, fostering a deeper emotional connection. ADULT AUTISM ASSESSMENT In addition to our therapy services, we are proud to collaborate with the Adult Autism Assessment Center , which specializes in providing formal assessments and reports for individuals seeking a comprehensive understanding of autism in adulthood. These assessments can be valuable in identifying strengths, challenges, and developing tailored therapeutic approaches. Our partnership ensures a holistic and comprehensive approach to supporting seniors with autism. COMPASSIONATE SUPPORT FOR SENIORS WITH AUTISM We firmly believe in the power of compassion and understanding in supporting seniors with autism and their relationships. Our experienced therapists are trained in providing tailored therapy services that address the unique needs of autistic individuals. We are committed to helping seniors navigate the challenges associated with autism, fostering personal growth, improved relationships, and overall well-being. Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

OCD & Autism EXPLORING THE OVERLAP OF NEURODIVERGENT EXPERIENCES Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) often intersects with neurodivergent conditions such as Autism and ADHD, creating a complex web of intertwined experiences. Recognizing and understanding these intersections is crucial for providing tailored support that meets your needs. Research indicates that a significant number of Autistic individuals, up to 37%, also grapple with OCD . The manifestation of OCD in Autistic individuals varies widely, necessitating a nuanced approach to diagnosis and treatment. The intersection of OCD and Autism presents challenges affecting daily life, impacting sensory experiences, routines, and social interactions. WHAT IS OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER? OCD is characterized by persistent, distressing thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive actions (compulsions) aimed at alleviating the anxiety associated with these thoughts. Compulsions, ranging from visible rituals to internal mental processes, serve as temporary solutions but can intensify anxiety in the long run. Treatment typically involves therapy, such as exposure and response prevention (ERP), and, in some cases, medication. OCD & ADHD: The co-occurrence of OCD and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is not uncommon, with research suggesting prevalence rates from 8% to 30% . Shared genetic and neurobiological factors , coupled with challenges in executive functioning, contribute to the complex interaction between OCD and ADHD. Navigating life with both conditions presents a unique puzzle, where ADHD can influence how OCD manifests, and OCD can exacerbate ADHD-related cognitive control difficulties. IMPORTANT DIFFERENCES Distinguishing between ADHD, Autism, and OCD is crucial for providing accurate support. Compulsions vs. Autistic Rituals vs. ADHD Compensation. Understanding compulsions, a core aspect of OCD, is key. Compulsions i n OCD are anxiety-driven actions aimed at mitigating obsessive fears and/or unwanted thoughts. Help strategy: Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), is often considered the most effective psychological treatment for OCD. ERP involves exposing individuals to situations that trigger their obsessions while preventing the accompanying compulsive response. Over time, this helps to break the cycle of anxiety and compulsive behaviors. Autistic rituals arise from a desire for predictability, sensory sensitivities and self-soothing. These behaviors usually help autistics self-regulate and are NOT related to unwanted thoughts. Disruption of the ritual causes anxiety but the ritual was created as a result of anxiety. Help strategy: The goal when working with autistic rituals is to explore ways of building the rituals into one's life in the best way possible. Our therapists can help you walk through your daily schedule to consider which rituals are functioning and which are not. We will also help you clearly communicate your needs relating to rituals to others. ADHD compensation strategies are used to address difficulties in executive functioning. This could include struggles with recall, focus or organization. For example, repetitive checking that the garbage was taken out is a learned behavior tied to the many times the garbage was not taken out. Help strategy: Our approach to help focuses on establishing effective systems or routines to navigate the challenges posed by ADHD. BONUS QUESTION: IS OCD CONSIDERED NEURODIVERGENCE? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is often considered a form of neurodivergence, falling within the umbrella of conditions that deviate from the perceived norm in terms of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral functioning. Alongside conditions such as Autism, ADHD, and Dyslexia, OCD represents a unique facet of neurodiversity. THE PERMANENT VS. SITUATIONAL DEBATE The ongoing debate regarding whether OCD is a permanent aspect of one's neurology or a situational form of neurodivergence adds complexity to our understanding. Unlike some neurodivergent conditions perceived as lifelong traits, OCD exhibits a distinct characteristic – its responsiveness to treatment. Approximately 50% of individuals diagnosed with OCD may experience persistent symptoms, but these symptoms can fluctuate, intensifying during periods of increased anxiety. THE RESPONSIVE NATURE OF OCD The responsive nature of OCD to treatment challenges a rigid classification. This observation raises the question of whether OCD is an inherent neurotype or a condition that one might have at certain times and not at others. The answer varies among individuals, with some perceiving OCD as a lifelong aspect of their neurology, while others view it as a condition that can be managed or altered over time. NAVIGATING THE NUANCES: The nuanced nature of this debate highlights the importance of considering individual experiences within the broader framework of neurodiversity. While some aspects of neurodivergence are often considered inherent and enduring, the responsive nature of OCD to treatment suggests that, for some, OCD may be more situational, influenced by environmental factors and stressors. PERSONAL PERSPECTIVES ON OCD How individuals define their relationship with OCD is deeply personal. Some describe their experience as "having OCD," viewing it as a condition they manage and treat. Others see it as an integral part of their neurotype, shaping their identity and interactions with the world. Embracing this diversity in perspectives allows for a more comprehensive and empathetic understanding of how individuals navigate their unique journeys with conditions like OCD. EMPOWERING APPROACHES TO CHALLENGES The key lies in finding a way to frame the experience with authenticity, empowering individuals to approach challenges with understanding, gentleness, and hope. Embracing the diversity of perspectives underscores the multifaceted nature of OCD and the broader spectrum of neurodivergence. This approach fosters a deeper appreciation for the unique journeys individuals undertake in navigating conditions like OCD. NEXT STEPS Our first step in helping you is to clearly understanding what is driving your behavior. We will take an individualized approach to understand whether OCD, autism or ADHD (or a combination) are at play, and then work with you to develop a treatment plan. To take the next step, please fill out our contact form. Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Hyperfixation Where has your attention camped out lately? Does it feed you? Or drain you? Neurodivergent attention is powerful. It can deepen skill, meaning, and wellbeing when it’s intrinsically driven. It can also snag and exhaust you when it narrows too hard and won’t let go. Here’s the difference. What each term means: Monotropism = the wiring. It’s a tendency to allocate attention to a small number of streams at a time. Neutral by itself. It can fuel flow or create stuckness depending on context and supports. Special interest = healthy Monotropism. Long-term, intrinsically motivated, values-aligned. You can pause it when needed. It usually energizes and leads to creation, sharing, or skill building. Hyperfixation = hijacked Monotropism. Short-term or episodic, compulsion-driven, relief/certainty-seeking. Hard to stop even when it’s costing you. It usually dysregulates and pushes endless intake or looping. On the outside they can look identical. Inside they feel opposite. Special interests ground you and spark output. Hyperfixations push for going deeper while basic needs and relationships get sidelined. How special interests can help your relationship: They create shared rituals and admiration when the allistic partner engages with curiosity. They buffer stress, fuel competence, and can become “us” projects with gentle structure. How hyperfixation can harm your relationship: It amplifies missed bids for connection. It can crowd out sleep, chores, finances, intimacy, and co-parenting rhythms. Partners read the withdrawal as disinterest rather than dysregulation—and resentment spikes. A useful lens Monotropism explains why attention locks on. Sometimes it’s adaptive. Sometimes it’s overwhelming. Seeing the pattern reduces blame and guides supports that can protect the couple. Gentle steps for JUST YOU (shift yourself first) ✔️ Flag it yourself: “I’m getting pulled in—give me 5 minutes to land the plane,” then actually land the plane. ✔️ Name the state, not the story. “One sentence: I’m flooded and chasing certainty; I want to reconnect.” ✔️ Two-sentence bridge: “10-second headline of what I’m stuck on” → “I’m choosing us now.” ✔️ Micro-downshift: 60–90 seconds: breathe, stand, water, quick stretch—then turn to your partner. ✔️ Timebox + return: Set a 20–40 min focus block; return at the exact minute and say, “I’m back.” COUPLES experiments (protect connection while focus exists) ✔️ On-ramp script ND partner: “I feel the pull. Five minutes to land the plane, then I’m with you.” Partner: “Got it.” ✔️ Off-ramp script ND partner: “I’m back. Quick reconnect now or do you need five first?” Partner chooses. ✔️ 30–30–30 micro-loop 30s share (ND) → 30s reflect (non-ND) → 30s plan (one tiny step each). ✔️ Bid + boundary Non-ND: “I’m asking for 10 minutes now; if not, let’s book 7:30.” ND picks one. ✔️ Repair quickie If late: “I broke our agreement—sorry. New offer: 10 minutes now or 7:45?” Want a quick self-check? Take our short screener and learn about your attention style: Start the Monotropism Screener Want to go deeper on special interests? Watch our video on Monotropism here! None of this is magic.All of it is workable. Ready to work on this in therapy? [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Lea Choi Specialties · Neurodiverse Couples Counseling · ADHD & Autism Relationship Coaching · Emotional Regulation · Executive Functioning Support · Complex Parenting Challenges · Multicultural & Intercultural Relationships · LGBTQIA+, Poly & Kink-Affirming · Identity & Self-Exploration Life Experience Lived Experience as AuDHD and in a Neurodiverse Relationship – Navigated firsthand the challenges of differing communication styles, sensory needs, and emotional processing. Bridging the Gap Between Neurotypes – Learned how to shift from misinterpretation and frustration to mutual understanding and connection. From Isolation to Communication – Overcame years of feeling unseen by developing relationship strategies that work for both partners, not just one. Reframing Love & Connection – Discovered that love isn’t always verbal—it can be expressed through small, meaningful actions. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT # 151193 , Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Learn More about Lea! Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners References Ashinoff, B. K., & Abu-Akel, A. (2021). Hyperfocus: The forgotten frontier of attention. Psychological Research, 85 (1), 1–19). https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00426-019-01245-8 Barney, J. L., Ben-Porath, D. D., & Hayes, S. C. (2019). Assessing the valuing process in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: A qualitative study. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 14 , 99–107. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2212144718302266 Cleveland Clinic. (2024, September 30). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): What it is . https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy-act-therapy Grove, R., Hoekstra, R. A., Wierda, M., & Begeer, S. (2018). Special interests and subjective wellbeing in autistic adults. Autism Research, 11 (5), 766–775. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/aur.1931 Healthline. (2023, November 8). Special interest vs. hyperfixation: Differences and resources . https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/special-interest-vs-hyperfixation IFS Institute. (n.d.). The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model outline . https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/internal-family-systems-model-outline Murray, D., Lesser, M., & Lawson, W. (2005). Attention, monotropism and the diagnostic criteria for autism. Autism, 9 (2), 139–156. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1362361305051398 Reilly, E. D., Ritzert, T. R., Scoglio, A. A. J., Mote, J., Fukuda, S. D., Ahern, M. E., & Kelly, M. M. (2019). A systematic review of values measures in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy research. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 12 , 290–304. https://contextualscience.org/values_measures Russell, G., Kapp, S. K., Elliott, D., Elphick, C., Gwernan-Jones, R., & Owens, C. (2019). Mapping the autistic advantage from the accounts of adults diagnosed with autism: A qualitative study. Autism in Adulthood, 1 (2), 124–133. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6493410/ Simply Psychology. (2025, April 22). Autistic special interests vs ADHD hyperfixations . https://www.simplypsychology.org/autistic-special-interests-vs-adhd-hyperfixations.html Taubin, D. Z., Levant, B., & Zeides, D. (2024). Depressive symptoms and quality of life among women partnered with adults with ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders . Advance online publication. https: //journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10870547241280607 TIME. (2025, April 14). What a hyperfixation really is . https://time.com/7276835/hyperfixating-focus-autism-adhd-neurodivergent/ Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

ADHD and sex can be a wild combination. At its best, it’s electric—intimate, intense, full of energy.At its worst? Scattered, impulsive, confusing. Many ADHDers feel deeply present one moment—then drift off mid-connection. They want to be great lovers and attentive partners… But distraction, urgency, or miscommunication keeps getting in the way. It’s not about caring less. It’s about how your brain works. That’s why we created the ADHD Sexual Intimacy Measure (ADHD-SIM‑24) . This self-assessment helps you decode how your brain's wiring impacts your sex life—especially when it comes to focus, impulse, and connection. You’ll rate your level of agreement with statements like: “I can pause and check in with my partner even when I'm excited.” “My mind often drifts to unrelated thoughts when I'm intimate.” “I find it difficult to wait when I want sexual contact." The ADHD-SIM-24 only takes about 5–7 minutes. And instead of a vague “you’re doing fine” or “you need help,” it gives you real insights. You’ll get five scores: One total score that reflects your overall intimacy profile Four targeted subscales showing your patterns in: Attention & Presence Impulse Control & Risk Boundaries & Consent Relationship Communication & Satisfaction These subscales are the real magic—they help you pinpoint where things feel smooth and where they get sticky. Maybe your focus is strong, but boundaries get fuzzy.Maybe you’re great at communicating—but struggle to pause before acting. This gives you the map. 👉 Take the ADHD-SIM-24 If you’d like to process your results with someone who gets both ADHD and intimacy challenges, our neuro-informed specialists are here. No shame. Just support. With care, Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center P.S. If you’re in a relationship where one partner is autistic and the other has ADHD, it’s not just a double dose—it’s a double puzzle. We'd love to help you with that too. Get Matched with a Therapist 🔦 Spotlight on Liz McClanahan Specialties Neurodiverse Couples Therapy Autism & ADHD Parenting Autistic Children Intimacy, Sex, Affair Recovery Anger Management Life Transitions Personal Experience My husband is on the Autism Spectrum and received his diagnosis later in life. I am so proud of my 26-year marriage and the fact that we were able to reconcile after a divorce and remarry. My two children are also on the Spectrum. They have taught me how differences can be intensely beautiful and frustrating at the same time. Learn more about Liz! © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these questionnaires may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Imagine trying to communicate your deepest desires and needs with your partner, but it feels like you're speaking different languages. That's often the reality for neurodiverse couples when it comes to intimacy and sex. Let's break the silence and dive into this crucial topic together! 🚧 8 Common Roadblocks to Neurodiverse Sex 👩❤️👨 1. Emotional vs. Physical Intimacy Neurotypical partners might crave emotional intimacy through communication about emotions and experiences. On the other hand, neurodiverse partners might seek physical intimacy to feel connected. It's like trying to take different paths to the same destination – closeness. 💬 2. Communication Communication barriers can intensify during intimate moments. Nonverbal cues like eye contact and body language often signal interest and consent, but these can be challenging for neurodiverse individuals. Recognizing these differences helps shift towards clear, direct communication, such as using "code words" for boundaries and planned breaks to process tough interactions. This approach reduces misunderstandings and ensures both partners clearly express needs and consent during intimacy. 🌐 3. Sensory Sensitivities Sensory sensitivities are a common issue in neurodiverse couples. Hypersensitivity can make physical touch overwhelming, while hyposensitivity may lead to a need for more intense sensory input. Understanding these differences is crucial. For example, one partner might need to adjust their touch to match their partner's sensory preferences. Educating couples about these variations helps them navigate and satisfy each other's sensory needs during intimate moments. 📋 4. Expectations Every person has unique expectations about what intimacy should look like, and for neurodiverse couples, these expectations might conflict. Open communication about these expectations is essential to align and find common ground, helping partners understand each other’s perspectives and needs. 📜 5. Past Experiences Past relationships significantly shape views on intimacy. Many autistic individuals have less experience with dating and sex, leading to unrealistic views of relationships or misunderstandings about roles. Addressing these past experiences in therapy helps partners understand each other's viewpoints and expectations, fostering deeper connections. 🔧 6. Executive Functioning Initiating intimacy requires planning and organizing, which can be challenging for neurodiverse individuals. Recognizing these difficulties and finding ways to support each other in initiating intimate moments can improve the relationship. 🔒 7. Rigidity Rigidity in routines or preferences can create tension in a sexual relationship. Neurodiverse individuals might have specific ways they believe intimacy should be, which can hinder the natural flow of the relationship. Couples can work together to become more adaptable to each other's needs. 🌹 8. Diverse Expressions of Intimacy Intimacy for neurodivergent individuals can differ from traditional norms. Activities like side-by-side gaming or snuggling while engaging in separate activities can be intimate for them. Recognizing and accepting these diverse expressions of intimacy is vital for some couples. 🤔 Where to Start? Couples struggling with sex often don't know where to start. In therapy, we work on the following areas: 🤝 Build a Common Understanding Understanding how neurodiversity impacts your physical intimacy is the first step. This involves psychoeducation about autism and re-contextualizing your relationship through this valuable lens. 🎯 Setting Clear Goals We help you discuss each partner's needs, desires, and quota for intimacy and sex. Together, we identify specific goals to address deficits and improve experiences. This can be incredibly hard to do and almost always needs the safe guidance from one of our counselors. 🗣️ Open Communication We facilitate conversations about why certain needs are unfulfilled and what specifics are required for improvement. This is not about compliance but rather focuses on understanding and exploration. 🧠 Perspective-Taking We consider each other's perspectives to increase relational success. Once you understand your partner's viewpoint, you can work together to strengthen intimacy and sexual connection. 👫 Sex Therapy for Neurodiverse Couples Do you feel overwhelmed reading this? Please know that is perfectly normal! Here's the good news: sex therapy with a neuro-informed therapist can help make it easier to talk about sex. We'll provide a supportive space for both partners to share in their own way and at their own pace. Imagine turning those awkward moments of miscommunication into opportunities for deeper connection, understanding and fun! Willing to try? We’re here when you’re ready. Warm regards, Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Are You Hypersensitive to Certain Noises, Textures, etc...? Learn About Sensory Processing Disorder Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Autism relationships Communication Feel defeated by miscommunication? Think autistic-neurotypical relationships are doomed to struggle? Research says otherwise . Autistic adults report being just as satisfied in relationships as anyone else. But here’s the nuance. What predicts satisfaction isn’t neurotype. It’s responsiveness— the ability to notice and respond to your partner’s needs. That’s the strongest predictor of happiness—for both autistic and neurotypical partners. So why do so many couples still get stuck? Because of the “ double empathy problem ”. It’s not just one partner missing cues. It’s BOTH partners misreading each other. An autistic partner may go quiet to recharge. A neurotypical partner may read that silence as rejection. That’s the double empathy problem in action. That mismatch can quietly erode connection. But it doesn’t have to. Therapy gives you the tools to close the gap. You can’t go halfway. We help BOTH partners fully see the other side. We help neurotypical partners see the hidden positives in autistic traits. We help autistic partners share their needs in ways that land. We teach couples how to turn missed signals into moments of understanding. The result? More clarity. More connection. More satisfaction—for both of you. Love doesn’t depend on sameness. It depends on learning how to respond across difference. Ready to make that shift in your relationship? Click here to schedule a session today Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Jamison Haase Specialties Neurodiverse Couples Autism, ADHD Men, Neurodiversity, & A New Masculinity Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse) Trauma-Informed Emotional Regulation Attachment Communication Family Conflict Emotional Intimacy Life Experience Fifteen years in a neurodiverse marriage, bringing lived wisdom to couples navigating misinterpretations, blame cycles, and the search for real connection. Late ADHD diagnosis transformed decades of shame into a mission: helping partners understand neurology, reduce guilt, and build systems that support love instead of eroding it. Parenting neurodiverse kids provides firsthand insight into decoding behavior, creating accommodations, and protecting bonds through overwhelm and sensory storms. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT # 151355 , Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Get Booked with Jamison Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Just Sit Next to Me! 😳 A few months ago, a client told me a story… (details changed for privacy) I stared at the towering stack of paperwork on my desk. Sweat beaded on my forehead as my heart raced. It wasn’t just the workload—it was the silence in the room. No one to bounce ideas off, no one to share the load. That day, I felt the hill of my life steepen, my energy drain. Then my partner popped in, cracked a joke, and sat beside me. Suddenly, the stack shrank—not in size, but in weight. I could breathe again. That’s when I realized: my brain wasn’t built to tackle this solo. Then we talked about Social Baseline Theory and autism. He said it hit him like a lightning bolt—and it’s been sparking insights ever since. 🌟 Wired for Connection, Not Solo Flights Humans don’t just crave connection—we’re engineered for it. Our brains assume we’ve got a crew, a tribe, a partner-in-crime. Social Baseline Theory (SBT) says it loud and clear: togetherness isn’t a bonus—it’s our baseline. When we’re linked up, life’s hills flatten, pain dulls, and energy flows. ● Studies show it: holding a loved one’s hand slashes pain perception. ● Even picturing a friend makes a steep climb feel doable. But here’s the kicker: this isn’t just for neurotypicals. Us neurodiverse folks—especially those with autism—feel this wiring too. It’s just that the world’s chaos can make it harder to plug in. 🧠 Social Baseline Theory: The Brain’s Quiet Expectation 🤝 What’s the Big Idea? SBT, cooked up by James Coan , flips the script: connection isn’t something our brains “turn on.” It’s the default. Alone? That’s when the alarm bells ring—everything gets tougher, scarier, heavier. ⚡ Proof in the Pudding Picture this: you’re eyeing a hill. Solo, it’s Mount Everest. With a pal, it’s a gentle slope. Brain scans back it up—connection literally lightens the load on our neurons. For us neurodiverse folks, though, it’s not always that simple. The same crowd that resources a neurotypical brain might zap ours dry. 🌈 Neurodiversity Meets SBT: Same Need, Trickier Path 🎨 Difference, Not Deficit Autism doesn’t mean we’re less human—we’re just wired with a unique rhythm. SBT still applies : we thrive with trusted connection. But crowded rooms or unpredictable chats? They can fry our circuits instead of fueling us. 🛠️ The Double Bind We need people—yet people can overwhelm. Familiarity becomes our superpower: a steady partner or a quiet co-worker can shift everything. Masking to fit in, though? That’s not connection—it’s camouflage, and it exhausts us. ● Ever notice how body doubling—someone just being there—unlocks focus? ● Or how a text thread feels safer than a loud party? Our brains still scream for belonging. We just dance to a different beat to find it. 🛠️ Interventions: How We Help You Harness Suffering Our neuro-informed specialists get it: connection isn’t one-size-fits-all. We don’t peddle vague “just talk more” nonsense. We dig into your wiring—your unique social baseline—and build from there. 🪄 What We Do Differently ● Decode Your Signals: We spot what fills your tank (a silent ally?) and what drains it (small talk hell?). ● Craft Safe Zones: We guide you to predictable, low-pressure connections that recharge, not overload . ● Ditch the Mask: We help you trade exhausting fakery for real, sustainable bonds. Imagine a life where your brain’s need for “together” doesn’t clash with your need for calm. That’s our mission: helping you find your people, your way. 🏋️♀️ Exercise: Map Your Social Baseline Ready to explore your own connection needs? Try this 6-step sparkler—it’s quick, punchy, and revealing. Pinpoint a Tough Moment: Think of a time recently when life felt steep or heavy. What were you facing? Solo or Supported? Were you alone or with someone? Jot down how that felt in your body. Spot Your Energy Shift: Recall a moment someone’s presence eased the load. Who was it? What did they do? Name Your Drain: What social stuff (noise, unpredictability) saps you most? Be specific. Find Your Sweet Spot: What kind of connection lifts you—quiet company, a text, a hug? List 3 ideas. Test It Out: Pick one from #5 and try it this week. Notice how your hill changes. No fluff—just a roadmap to your brain’s secret sauce. 🎯 The Takeaway: Connection’s Your Superpower SBT wasn’t built with autism in mind, but it still sings our tune. We’re not broken—we’re different, and we still need each other. The trick? Finding the right flavor of togetherness that fuels you, not frazzles you. You’re not alone in this dance. Let’s choreograph it together. Let's get started today! Warmly, Harry Motro Clinical Director Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Key Resources for Deepening Understanding For those eager to explore further, here are three valuable resources, each offering unique insights into SBT: ● Foundational Paper: The paper Social Baseline Theory: The Social Regulation of Risk and Effort introduces SBT, explaining how social relationships are integral to brain function and affect our perception of risk and effort. It’s a comprehensive starting point for understanding the theory’s core concepts. ● Current State Review: The article Social baseline theory: State of the science and new directions updates readers on recent developments, including new empirical findings and theoretical advancements, making it ideal for seeing how SBT has evolved. ● Cognitive Extension: The paper Cognitive Processes Unfold in a Social Context: A Review and Extension of Social Baseline Theory explores how SBT applies to cognitive functions like vision, memory, and attention, offering a deeper understanding of its broad implications, which might be unexpected for those focusing solely on emotion regulation. These links will take you straight into the heart of SBT—whether you’re after the science, the updates, or just a fresh take. Happy exploring! 🔦 Spotlight on Lea Choi Specialties Neurodiverse Couples Counseling ADHD & Autism Relationship Coaching Emotional Regulation Executive Functioning Support Complex Parenting Challenges Multicultural & Intercultural Relationships LGBTQIA+, Poly & Kink-Affirming Identity & Self-Exploration Life Experience Lived Experience in a Neurodiverse Relationship – Navigated firsthand the challenges of differing communication styles, sensory needs, and emotional processing. Bridging the Gap Between Neurotypes – Learned how to shift from misinterpretation and frustration to mutual understanding and connection. From Isolation to Communication – Overcame years of feeling unseen by developing relationship strategies that work for both partners, not just one. Reframing Love & Connection – Discovered that love isn’t always verbal—it can be expressed through small, meaningful actions. Understanding Sensory Overload & Emotional Regulation Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy University of Vermont – M.A. English Literature (2008) University of Cincinnati – B.A. English Literature (2002) Contact Lea Today! Did you miss the last Blog? Click Here to Read Now! Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Cassie Clayton, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Cassie Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

As neurodiverse counselors and coaches, our team learns from our clients every single day. We learn how everyone is unique. We learn ways to accept you as you are AND how to encourage growth and change. We learn what works for you, pull it all together, and then share it with all of our clients. Our goal for this blog is to bring REAL WORLD advice to REAL PEOPLE. Our clients inspire us every day and our hope is to pass that inspiration on to you. We know combining families is never easy. But, with the right guidance and support, it is always worthwhile. Click Here To Match With An Expert We want to hear from you so please comment on our posts. Life works best when we all learn from each other!! Warmest regards, Harry Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, PsyD Dr. Motro is a registered Marriage and Family Therapist #53452 and the Founder/Clinical Director of the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule With Whitney Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Are you curious about whether or not you have autism/ADHD? Want to learn more about yourself and take the first step towards deeper self-understanding? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take An ASD/ADHD Screener Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel