The short move we use against defensiveness in a neurodiverse couple: impact first, intent second, the explanation after, and the dictionary you keep. Show the full module text Module 19 — Impact and Intent The session where one recent moment gets taken apart in the order that makes both halves sayable, and the dictionary the two of you keep afterward starts its first row. Everybody judges themselves by what they meant, and everybody else by what they did. In a neurodiverse couple that gap is wider, opens more often, and runs both ways. This module is the short move we use to close it. The argument two accurate people have Summary: what happens in the session 1 Your therapist asks for one moment. Something recent that landed badly, small enough to look at whole. 2 Your therapist says a short frame. Why both halves can be true at once. 3 The impact goes first. The one who was hurt says what it was like. The one who acted says it back, ending in I did that . 4 The intent goes second. The one who acted says what they meant. The other is asked whether they believe it. No is an answer. 5 Then the explanation. What was going on that week, now that it can be heard as information. 6 One row goes in your dictionary. What was said, what it meant, what it landed as. Impact first, every time. The order is the whole technique. Step 1. One moment from this week He forgot to reply to a message about her mother’s scan. She carried that for three days. In the session the argument starts within seconds: she describes what it was like, he explains what he was doing that afternoon. Both are accurate. Two accurate people. She knows what happened to her, and nothing about what was going on in him. He knows what he meant, and nothing about what it cost her. Each of you is arguing from the only evidence you have, which is why getting louder does not help. So your therapist asks for one small incident. Choosing the moment. Give me one thing from this week that landed badly. Not the biggest one — something we can look at the whole of in a few minutes. Step 2. The frame, before anyone answers Before anyone is asked for anything, your therapist says why two honest people hold different accounts of the same afternoon. Our slide puts it plainly: judge yourself by intention and your partner by impact, and you get defensiveness from two truthful people. The impact was real. The intent was real. The order they are said in is what makes them sayable. Why the gap is wider here. When non-autistic people read a transcript of what an autistic person said, instead of watching them say it, the usual harsh first impression does not appear.1 The gap sits in delivery and in receiving, both ways: the slide calls it the double empathy problem. The frame has a second job. What stops people conceding anything is often a threat to how they see themselves,2 so lowering that comes first. Two lit halves, two dark ones, and two numbered arrows going the opposite way from the one you would choose. The frame. I am going to ask each of you to agree to the thing you had no way of knowing. Neither of you can know what it was like for the other. Neither of you is lying. Watch Intent versus impact, the slide explained Harry Motro, PsyD, LMFT Harry walks through the slide this step is built on. Open the video Step 3. Impact, said back The one who was hurt says what it was like. The one who acted says it back in their own words, ending in I did that , and stops at the full stop. The half that starts with but waits. Why this half comes first. Asked for intent first, the one who was hurt has to tend somebody else’s feelings while their own are still unattended. Most people either refuse, or comply and resent it. When people rate what makes an apology work, acknowledging responsibility matters most of all.3 The impact sentence is that acknowledgment with the explaining taken out. The same words in both panels, and an arrow between them. Only the order changes. Stop at the full stop. Stop there. Everything after the but deletes everything before it. Say it again and stop — the rest can come in a minute, and it will land differently. You can always say it. If any of this starts to feel like too much, you can say I am uncomfortable . That is a complete sentence. Nobody has to explain it or defend it. We stop, we look together at what is happening, and we decide as a group whether to stay with it or to understand first what is getting in the way. Saying the impact back without the sentence that explains you is the hardest part. Step 4. Intent, granted Now it runs the other way. He says what he was trying to do, and your therapist asks her whether she believes him. A yes is said with nothing attached: agreeing about what he meant is not dropping the complaint. Two ways your therapist steps in. The apology that defends — I am sorry you felt that way, but I was in meetings — gets stopped at the but . So does the yes with an accusation attached: I know you did not mean it. You never mean any of it. Your therapist asks for the first sentence alone. The third answer is not a failure. Sometimes the honest answer is: I actually believe he was trying to hurt me. That ends the exercise, and your therapist will thank you. A partner unable to grant good intent is usually reporting something accurate about a history. That answer gets heard, privately and seriously, and we have our own way of taking it from there. Two cut marks and one stop sign. The stop is drawn differently because nobody tries to get past it. The intent question. Do you believe he was not trying to hurt you? Take your time. No is an answer, and the most useful one you can give me if it is true. We say rapport, not empathy. Nobody has shown that either of you lacks empathy, and we will not say it.4 You are both working harder to read each other than you would with somebody wired like you. Two more, in the same shape. The moment. She moved his dentist appointment without telling him; he found out from a calendar alert. Impact, said back. Him: “My afternoon moved and I heard it from my phone.” Her: “That would have felt like being managed. I did that.” Intent, granted. Her: “I wasn’t trying to run your life. I was clearing Friday for you.” Him: “I believe you weren’t trying to manage me.” The moment. She asked what he wanted for her birthday. He said fine , flat, and went back to his laptop. Impact, said back. Her: “You said fine like it was a chore.” Him: “You got a flat fine about your birthday. That would have felt like I couldn’t be bothered. I did that.” Intent, granted. Him: “I wasn’t brushing it off. I was working out the day in my head.” Her: “I believe you.” Nothing attached. Step 5. The explanation, at last Only now does your therapist ask what was going on that week — the question the one who acted wanted to answer in the first ten seconds. Nothing has been cancelled. It has moved to the one point where it can be heard. What each of you gave up. He agreed about what arrived, not that he is callous. She agreed about what he meant, and nothing more. The apology research agrees about the weight: an explanation adds something, and the acknowledgment is the part that matters most. Step 6. One row for your dictionary Before the session ends, you write one row of a shared document you keep from here: what got said, what it meant, what the other one heard. The useful rows are small and recurring — fine , why? , silence. The rows most couples never write. They are about tone rather than words. When his voice goes flat, he is concentrating. When hers goes up, she is emphasizing. Those two get used more than all the others. The way this goes wrong. The one-way dictionary: every row the same shape, what he says and what she wrongly hears. It is a list of her errors with a friendly title, and she will read it that way. So one rule, from the first row: the translations run both ways, or the row waits. Three columns and four rows, with the two tone rows marked. After the session The dictionary grows between sessions: one misfire, one row, added by whichever of you noticed. Four rows is a working dictionary; a long one is a project nobody finishes. Running it at home. Most couples find it goes better once it has worked twice in the room, and then only on something small. The dictionary is how you stop needing us to translate. The one thing, if that is all you have. If the whole move is too much this week, write one dictionary row: what you say, what you mean, what your partner hears. Bring it. Your workbook Your answers save to this device only - we cannot see a word of what you write. This one is the move in writing, and the first rows of a dictionary the two of you will keep. The move, in writing One recent incident, small enough to look at. The impact, said back by the one who acted, ending in 'I did that'. Then the one who was hurt grants the intent, with nothing attached. No is an answer. What happened, in one line, and who acted The impact sentence: what landed for the other person, ending in 'I did that' Granting the intent: 'I believe you were not trying to...' When asked whether you believed your partner was not trying to hurt you: — Yes, and I said it, Yes, with a second sentence I should have left off, Not this time, and I said so, I was the one who acted this time The explanation, afterward: what was actually happening that day Your dictionary, first rows What gets said, what the speaker means, what the other one hears. Both directions. Two rows in each direction: said / meant / heard The two tone rows: when one voice goes flat, when the other goes up. What each one means, in your own words Where this comes from Every source below was checked against the published record. They are grouped by the kind of evidence they are, so the numbers may not run straight down the page — a number points back to where the source is used in the lesson. Research discussion This module rests on our own slide, one meta-analysis on first impressions, one critical review, and two studies of apology. The double reversal, the frame, the order, the stop condition and the dictionary are practice moves, developed in use. No trial has tested them, and we would rather say so plainly. The study The gap is in the delivery, not the content1 Those are strangers’ judgments in brief exposures, not a partner’s. The critical review4 examined twenty double-empathy studies and concluded their measures were largely not measuring cognitive or affective empathy, which is why the lesson says rapport rather than empathy. The term itself comes from a four-page essay in a disability studies journal; it is an argument, not a study.5 The barriers review2 organizes the experimental work around three obstacles to apologizing well, with threat to the apologizer’s self-image the most studied. The components study3 presented people with apologies built from six parts, singly and in combination. Apologies with more parts were rated more effective, and acknowledging responsibility was the part that mattered most. Both are scenario studies with student and online samples, not couples, and their ratings are of imagined apologies. The dictionary has no evidence base of its own. It is a translation practice, and its two rules, both directions and one misfire one row, are our rules. Who this research was done with. The studies behind this module, none of them of couples, drew heavily on white, comparatively well-off, English-speaking participants. If your household carries pressures those samples did not — money, immigration, racism, disability, unsafe housing — the practice still applies, but the room you are practicing in is harder. That is the room, not you. Peer-reviewed research 1. Wanigasekera LC, Maybery MT, Palermo R, Whitehouse AJO, Tan DW (2025) First impressions towards autistic people: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Autism Research, 18(5), 983-1010 . https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.70019 21 articles yielding 221 effects. First impressions were less favorable for autistic than for non-autistic people across audio only, video only, audio and video, and still image, at typically moderate to large effect sizes, with one exception: speech transcript, where the difference was not found. Observer autism knowledge and quality of prior contact moderated the judgments. Limitation: first impressions by strangers in brief exposures, not judgments inside an existing relationship. 2. Schumann K (2018) The psychology of offering an apology: Understanding the barriers to apologizing and how to overcome them. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 27(2), 74-78 . https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721417741709 Review proposing three barriers to high-quality apologies: low concern for the victim or relationship, perceived threat to the transgressor's self-image, and perceived apology ineffectiveness, and reviewing experimental work on each; high-quality apologies are described as extremely effective at promoting reconciliation. Limitation: a short review by a researcher within the literature; the underlying studies are largely student and online samples, not couples. 3. Lewicki RJ, Polin B, Lount RB Jr (2016) An exploration of the structure of effective apologies. Negotiation and Conflict Management Research, 9(2), 177-196 . https://doi.org/10.1111/ncmr.12073 Two studies (333 adults recruited online; 422 undergraduates) presenting six apology components, singly and in combination, in a trust-violation scenario. Apologies with more components were more effective; components were not equal, with acknowledgment of responsibility the most important, an offer of repair next, and a request for forgiveness the least; apologies after competence-based violations were more effective than after integrity-based ones. Limitation: scenario ratings of imagined apologies in negotiation contexts, not couples; the component ranking is reported in the paper and its press release rather than in the abstract. 4. Fellowes S (2026) Cognitive empathy, affective empathy and empirical research on the double empathy problem: A critical methodology review. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, online first . https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-026-07315-2 Critical methodology review of twenty empirical papers offered in support of the double empathy problem, asking whether their measures could detect cognitive or affective empathy. Concludes the experimental measures are largely not making measurements that would detect either, with many studies using unsuitable designs and interaction durations too short for these forms of empathy to emerge, and recommends future work target them directly. Limitation: a methodological critique, not new data; the rapport findings it leaves standing are the ones this module relies on. 5. Milton DEM (2012) On the ontological status of autism: The 'double empathy problem'. Disability & Society, 27(6), 883-887 . https://doi.org/10.1080/09687599.2012.710008 A current-issues piece introducing the term double empathy problem, critiquing the definition of autism as a deficit in theory of mind and reframing the difficulty as a question of reciprocity and mutuality in interaction. Limitation: a four-page sociological essay, not a study; cited as the origin of the idea named on the practice's slide. Further reading • Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center (2026) How to overcome defensiveness: Intentions versus impact (slide, v2, and Loom walkthrough). Practice materials, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center . https://www.neurodiversecouplescounseling.com/ The practice's own one-slide intervention: judge self by intention, judge others by impact, defensiveness; the two boxes marked NEW, acknowledge impact first and acknowledge intention first, healing. Names the double empathy problem on the slide. Limitation: a clinical tool developed in use; this module is an elaboration of it. Ninety seconds, in the right order The Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center works with couples where one or both partners are autistic, ADHD or AuDHD. The impact-and-intent session runs the practice's own slide with the two of you on a recent incident, in the order that makes both halves sayable, and starts the dictionary you keep afterward. Therapy for clients in California, coaching worldwide, all by telehealth. A first conversation costs nothing. Talk with our team Up next Module 20 — The Love List All 29 modules in The Neurodiverse Couples Repair Program

A free 29-module program for couples where one or both partners are autistic, ADHD or AuDHD: what happens in each session, and what to do afterward. Show the full list of modules The Neurodiverse Couples Repair Program A program for couples where one or both partners are autistic, ADHD or AuDHD. Each module tells you what actually happens in a session and what the session is for, and then gives the two of you something to do afterward. Nothing here needs an account, and nothing you write leaves your own device. 29 of 29 modules are written and readable now. The rest are listed by name so you can see the whole shape of the program before you start it. There is a short video at the top of this page. What The Neurodiverse Couples Repair Program is, who it is for, and what its seven parts cover. It runs about 5 minutes. How to read it Parts One and Two run in order and each assumes the ones before it. Part Six does not: it is a shelf of the things neurodiverse couples actually fight about, and you take the ones that are about your life. You do not have to be in therapy to use any of it. Part One - Your First Session 1A — Your First Session The first hundred minutes, step by step: nobody is on trial, what stays in the room, the three words that pause anything, and the three parts of the session. Read Your First Session 1B — The Connection Exercise The short exercise that opens your first session, step by step: what your therapist will offer, what you will be asked, and what to write down afterward. Read The Connection Exercise 1C — Your Goals The middle forty minutes of your first session, where each of you says what you want and it becomes a roadmap. Read Your Goals 1D — Neuro-Informed Reflective Listening Reflective listening, adapted for neurodiverse couples: the twelve changes to the standard version, and the last stretch of the first session where the two of you try it. Read Neuro-Informed Reflective Listening Part Two - Is One or Both of Us Autistic or ADHD? 2A — Wondering If Your Partner Is Autistic or ADHD One of you thinks the other might be autistic or ADHD and has not said it. What your therapist does with that, and how the work moves anyway. Read Wondering If Your Partner Is Autistic or ADHD 2B — Bringing It Up: Autism or ADHD in the Room One of you wants it in the room from the start, or the booking said it. What your therapist does with it in the first sessions, step by step. Read Bringing It Up: Autism or ADHD in the Room 2C — Diagnosed, Self-Identified, or Still Wondering Optional. The session where we find out where each of you is on the question, weigh each option, and, if you want, take a set of screeners home. Read Diagnosed, Self-Identified, or Still Wondering 2D — What a Diagnosis Changes, and What It Doesn't Once a neurotype is named, we can work on the differences between you as differences, and break the pattern where each of you assumes the worst. Read What a Diagnosis Changes, and What It Doesn't Part Three - Where It Started 3A — Drawing the Family The drawing session, step by step: a family tree and a line of your life, drawn on paper while you talk and held up to the camera at the end. Read Drawing the Family 3B — Your Childhood Wound Three questions about back then, the same three about now, your partner saying each set back, one thing you need this week, and the wound of not being understood. Read Your Childhood Wound 3C — The Family You Grew Up In Was Neurodiverse Too The Neurodiversity Supplement session, step by step: who in your family was wired this way, what it was like to be you, and what your therapist does with those pages. Read The Family You Grew Up In Was Neurodiverse Too 3D — Competing Sensory Needs, Then and Now The sensory worksheet about the house you grew up in, and the session that maps where your two nervous systems collide now. Read Competing Sensory Needs, Then and Now Part Four - Two Brains, Mapped 4A — What the Labels Were Describing The session where one word you have carried since childhood - lazy, cold, too much - comes down and gets read for what it was actually describing. Read What the Labels Were Describing 4B — Your Spiky Profile The Trait Wheel gives every area two ratings, not one - and the session where you read each other's shapes and stop reading the gap between two areas as not trying. Read Your Spiky Profile 4C — Where You Misread Each Other The session where the two of you find the places you get each other wrong, in both directions, and write down what was true. Read Where You Misread Each Other 4D — The Working Map, Not the Label The session where everything you have gathered so far becomes one page each, ten areas in your own words, dated and updated over time. Read The Working Map, Not the Label Part Five - The Cycle and the Repair 5A — Naming the Loop One ordinary fight drawn as a figure eight, a name for the loop, and a pause signal with a return time. Read Naming the Loop 5B — Underneath the Loop The program's slowest session: a question sent ahead, a silence asked about rather than guessed, and the deep feeling and want said aloud. Read Underneath the Loop 5C — Impact and Intent The session where one recent moment gets taken apart in the order that makes both halves sayable, and the dictionary the two of you keep afterward starts its first row. Read Impact and Intent 5D — The Love List The session where you each write twenty very specific things that make you feel loved, read them to each other, and put them up where you will see them every day. Read The Love List Part Six - What You Actually Fight About 6A — Money The money session, step by step: the mechanism before the character, who can see what, a system built for a bad week, and what the job costs after five. Read Money 6B — Sex and Intimacy The session that names the five difficulties behind a sexless marriage, agrees an opening move that commits nobody, and writes down the words for no. Read Sex and Intimacy 6C — Parenting The session that sorts which argument you are really having, prices the household work instead of counting it, and shortens the list the two of you hold completely. Read Parenting 6D — In-Laws and Family The session where the two of you plan the next family visit in advance: leaving time, signal, who says what, and the year. Read In-Laws and Family 6E — The Mental Load The session where the noticing nobody has listed gets counted, and whole areas of the household change hands with the noticing attached. Read The Mental Load 6F — Work and Time Apart The session that counts where your week really goes, separates alone time from withdrawal, and buys one thing back at a size you can finish. Read Work and Time Apart Part Seven - Making It Hold 7A — Micro-Agreements How an agreement is built in the session so that it survives an ordinary week at home. Read Micro-Agreements 7B — Eight Dates, Neurodiverse How your therapist assigns one of the eight conversations: no outing required, fun first, questions sent ahead, forty minutes. Read Eight Dates, Neurodiverse 7C — Knowing It Is Working The ninety-day review: the four questions that show whether this work is moving, and what a flat quarter can mean. Read Knowing It Is Working Working with us The Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center works with couples where one or both partners are autistic, ADHD or AuDHD. Therapy for clients in California, coaching worldwide, all by telehealth. Talk with our team . Acknowledgments The Neurodiverse Couples Repair Program was compiled by, and written under the direction of, Harry Motro , LMFT, founder and clinical director of the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center. It represents the input of the whole clinical team. Every session it describes is one the center’s therapists run, in the way they run it, and the program exists because they were willing to say, in detail, what they actually do in the room. The clinical team. Our deepest thanks go to the therapists of the center. Their sessions are what these modules describe. Their worksheets and slides, refined over thousands of hours with neurodiverse couples, are what the modules draw on: the Love List, Intent versus Impact, the Scheduled Intimacy Agreement, the Conversation Calendar, the Family of Origin worksheets and their Neurodiversity Supplement, the Relationship Check-Up, and many others. Where a module says “we,” it means them. Meet the team . The couples. And to the couples. Everything here that is true was learned from people who sat in the room, tried it, told us when it did not work, and came back the next week. Nobody’s story is in these pages. Everybody’s is. The research. Each module lists its sources, with what each one can and cannot support, at the foot of its page. Across the program, the work we lean on most, and are most grateful for: Damian Milton on the double empathy problem Catherine Crompton and colleagues on information transfer between autistic and non-autistic people Noah Sasson and colleagues on first impressions of autistic people Dinah Murray, Mike Lesser and Wenn Lawson on monotropism Laura Hull and colleagues on social camouflaging Eilidh Cage and Zoe Troxell-Whitman on the reasons, contexts and costs of camouflaging Dora Raymaker and colleagues on autistic burnout Karen Leneh Buckle and colleagues on autistic inertia Emma Kinnaird, Catherine Stewart and Kate Tchanturia on alexithymia in autism Beheshti, Chavanon and Christiansen on emotion dysregulation in adult ADHD Laura Foran Lewis on discovering that a partner is autistic Sarah Bargiela, Robyn Steward and Will Mandy on late-diagnosed autistic women Meng-Chuan Lai and Simon Baron-Cohen on the lost generation of undiagnosed adults Elizabeth O’Nions and colleagues on how many autistic adults in England have never been diagnosed Leslie Greenberg and Wanda Malcolm on resolving unfinished business from childhood Rathgeber, Bürkner, Schiller and Holling on the efficacy of emotionally focused couples therapy Paul Schrodt, Paul Witt and Jenna Shimkowski on the demand/withdraw pattern Eli Finkel and colleagues on reappraising conflict from a third party’s view Roy Lewicki, Beth Polin and Robert Lount on what makes an apology work Shelly Gable and colleagues on what you do when things go right Allison Daminger on the cognitive dimension of household labor Peter Gollwitzer and Paschal Sheeran on implementation intentions, the science behind micro-agreements John and Julie Gottman on Eight Dates, which Part Seven adapts We have tried to say what each study shows and no more. Where the program goes past the evidence, the module says so.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) often intersects with neurodivergent conditions such as Autism and ADHD. Our therapists understand the unique challenges this brings and are here to help guide you toward your goals. OCD & AUTISM < Back OCD & AUTISM OCD, AUTISM, & ADHD Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) often intersects with neurodivergent conditions such as Autism and ADHD, creating a complex web of intertwined experiences. Recognizing and understanding these intersections is crucial for providing tailored support that meets your needs. Research indicates that a significant number of Autistic individuals, up to 37%, also grapple with OCD . The manifestation of OCD in Autistic individuals varies widely, necessitating a nuanced approach to diagnosis and treatment. The intersection of OCD and Autism presents challenges affecting daily life, impacting sensory experiences, routines, and social interactions. WHAT IS OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER? OCD is characterized by persistent, distressing thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive actions (compulsions) aimed at alleviating the… Show More

Support for male partners on the spectrum who want to work on their relationships and stay true to themselves. AUTISTIC MEN < Back FROM SHAME TO ACCEPTANCE “Normal is an ideal. But it’s not reality.Reality is brutal, it’s beautiful, it’s every shade between black and white, and it’s magical. Yes, magical. Because every now and then, it turns nothing into something.” ― Tara Kelly, Harmonic Feedback FIRST PRIORITY Our first priority is to be able to see the beauty of our differences . This journey may require rethinking a life of experiencing negative messages from society. This rethinking process must operate in the background of all the more tactical work that is done as it is critical to be able to show up in a way that is less defensive and more whole. SECOND PRIORITY Once this primary… Show More

It’s common for neurodivergent people to get out of balance with eating. Our therapists understand are here to listen and help you create healthier eating habits. AUTISM & EATING < Back AUTISM & EATING We are here to provide affirming and effective support for neurodivergent people around food and eating. Whether you are autistic, ADHD, highly sensitive, sensory processing differences, seizure disorders, OCD or otherwise identify as neurodivergent, you are in the right place. STRUGGLING WITH EATING We are here to help you/your loved one with food struggles like: Skipping meals Forgetting to eat Overwhelm/avoidance with grocery shopping General anxiety around eating Shame or guilt around eating Negative thought patterns around eating Negative thought patterns around body size/shape Feeling gross in your body during/after eating GI problems causing fear with eating Pain with eating or after eating Underfueling in athletics Show More

We provide expert, caring support for women on the autism spectrum looking to grow or better understand themselves. AUTISTIC WOMEN < Back WOMAN ON THE SPECTRUM? WE SEE YOU. If you are an adult woman who thinks you may be on the spectrum, we are so glad you are here. You have probably been overlooked and under-supported for years and maybe even decades. You may be struggling in your relationship but not know how to fix it. Sadly, feelings of being defective, lonely, confused and helpless may be all too common. Please don't despair. There is hope! On this web page, we will try to cover the basics of women on the spectrum but we invite you to connect with one of our neurodiversity specialists who would be honored to help you.

Monotropism theory suggests that autistic individuals possess a focused attention system and may have specific interests, thoughts, or activities that consume their attention. Our therapists do not see monotropism as a deficit and are here to offer a supportive environment where your individuality is honored. MONOTROPISM < Back IS MONOTROPISM A THEORY? Yes. Coined by autistic scholars Dinah Murray and Wenn Lawson, Monotropism Theory challenges traditional views of autism by reframing autistic behaviors as adaptive responses and assets rather than deficits. Unlike traditional views that pathologize autism as a disorder, monotropism theory suggests that autistic individuals possess a focused attention system, giving them the ability to concentrate intensely on a limited number of interests, thoughts, or activities at any given time. KEY FEATURES OF MONOTROPISM THEORY Recognition of Strengths: Monotropism highlights the strengths associated with intense focus and specialized knowledge in autistic individuals. Rather than viewing their focused interests as restrictive or problematic, monotropism acknowledges these as valuable assets that can be… Show More

Special therapy and support for ADHD women. No more feeling misunderstood. We'd love to help! ADHD WOMEN < Back THE OVERLOOKED SYMPTOMS OF AHDH IN WOMEN Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) affects people of all genders and ages, but the symptoms in adult women often go unrecognized or misdiagnosed. This is due to a lack of understanding about how ADHD manifests in women and the assumption that it only affects boys and men. The symptoms of ADHD in women can include forgetfulness, distractibility, disorganization, impulsivity, and emotional dysregulation. Women with ADHD are often labeled as “scatter-brained” or “flaky,” but these symptoms can have a significant impact on their daily lives and relationships. UNDERSTANDING ADHD SYMPTOMS IN WOMEN AND CELEBRATING THEIR STRENGTHS It is important to note that ADHD is not just… Show More

No two brains are the same. Our therapists are here to help you recognize and celebrate your neurological differences so you can better understand yourself and/or your partner. YOUR BRAIN < Back OUR BEAUTIFUL BRAINS UNHELPFUL NARRATIVES Many couples arrive in neurodiverse couples therapy with one or both of the following stories: Neurotypical Partner: "They don't' care about me" or "He just can't give me what I need." Autistic Partner : "I'm a failure." or "My partner is overly emotional." We are here to tell you that you are both mistaken. If you don't understand the problem you are trying to solve, it is virtually impossible to solve it. First, the root problem is that your brains are wired differently. Second, you are reaching conclusions based on your experiences of your partner's behaviors, not is what is happening inside. Third, once you begin… Show More

Art therapy can be a great option for neurodiverse individuals and our team of therapists are experienced in using art to promote self-expression and communication. AUTISM & ART THERAPY < Back WELCOME TO OUR ART THERAPY JOURNEY FOR AUTISTIC ADULTS Hello and welcome from Colleen Kahn and Stephen Robertson ! We are a pair of art therapists who specialize in neurodiversity, with a particular focus on autism. Our passion lies in the beautiful intersection of art and therapy , a space where expression knows no bounds and every stroke of a brush tells a story. We believe in the transformative power of art therapy to support autistic adults in their journey toward self-expression, communication, and emotional well-being. THE HEART OF ART THERAPY Art therapy is more than just creating art; it's a therapeutic process that facilitates self-exploration, understanding, and growth. For autistic adults, it offers a… Show More

Our therapists understand the unique struggles faced by those navigating cancer and neurodiversity. We are here to help you thrive and find happiness in your daily life. AUTISM & CANCER < Back AUTISM & CANCER SUPPORTING THOSE WITH AUTISM & CANCER Cancer can be a tremendous challenge for anyone. Yet, if you are autistic, you may face unique difficulties in dealing with the physical and emotional aspects of cancer. And, thus you deserve specialized support.

Communication Guide for Neurodiverse Couples. Learn to listen and talk with less frustration and more hope! NEURODIVERSE COMMUNICATION < Back SPEAKING DIFFERENT LANGUAGES? Why do we feel like we are speaking different languages when we try to talk to each other? Do your partner's words sound like "blah blah blah...", where you are not really hearing each other? What hijacks our ability to communicate effectively? Do your conversations sound like: Tammy: Look at me when I talk to you. Tim: I am trying to but you're not making any sense. You said to walk the dog as soon as I felt like it. I never felt like it. Tammy: You know that the dog needs a walk every day. Tim: But you never said that. Tammy: I've said that… Show More

We are always looking for therapists passionate about working closely with the neurodiverse community. We would love to meet you! CAREERS FOR THERAPISTS < Back POSITIONS OPEN: Click the link below to apply on Indeed.com: Associate Marriage & Family Therapist for Neurodiverse (Autistic + Allistic) Couples Associate Marriage & Family Therapist - Sex Addiction and Support of Betrayed Partners At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center (NCCC), we train the next generation of world-class therapists specializing in neurodiversity. Find Your Career Path Are you intrigued by the idea of counseling couples, particularly neurodiverse couples, but feel unsure where to begin? Do you want to build your skills and gain hands-on experience in a supportive environment that values the unique challenges and strengths of neurodiverse relationships? Working with neurodiverse couples can be a deeply fulfilling way to help partners… Show More

Learn how an adult assessment for Austism Spectrum Disorder is conducted and when diagnoses can be helpful. SCREENING TESTS & ASSESSMENTS < Back Are you autistic or ADHD? Try one or more of the screening tests for adults from our Adult Autism Assessments (AAA) site: Autism: Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) Test Ritvo Autism & Asperger Diagnostic Scale (RAADS -14) Modified Girls Questionnaire for Autism Spectrum Condition (GQ-ASC) - Scale for Adult Women Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) ADHD: Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRSv1.1) Barratt Impulsiveness Scale (BIS-11) Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST) Copeland Symptom List for Adult ADD ASD & ADHD ASSESSMENT & DIAGNOSIS After taking a screener, you may wish to consider getting a diagnosis. This can be INCREDIBLY helpful as it can give people a new perspective into their feelings, experiences,… Show More