Chris Mercurio

Neurodiverse Couples Specialist | Associate Marriage and Family Therapist

At a Glance

• Neurodiverse couples and individuals

• Systems thinker with 20 years in tech

• Author of Therapy for Engineers and Everyone Else 

• Integrative clinician focused on getting unstuck

• Trauma informed, neurodiversity affirming

• Long-term recovery

I work with neurodiverse couples and individuals who feel stuck in patterns that logic alone cannot resolve. Many of the people I see are thoughtful, capable, and deeply invested in their relationships, yet continue to run into the same breakdowns around communication, emotional connection, and day-to-day functioning. My work focuses on helping people understand why these patterns persist and how to interrupt them in ways that actually fit their nervous systems.

Much of my clinical focus is with ADHD neurotypical–neurodivergent and dual-neurodivergent couples navigating pursuit–withdraw cycles, invisible labor imbalances, emotional overload, and chronic misunderstanding. I also work with neurodivergent individuals experiencing burnout, masking exhaustion, executive dysfunction, and grief related to late diagnosis or long-term misattunement.

Rather than organizing my work around a single modality, I use an integrative framework built around five core elements that consistently drive change across effective therapies:

Experience and Emotion

Change requires more than insight. We work with lived emotional experience, not just ideas about it.

Brain and Body Integration

Patterns are held in the nervous system, not just the mind. Regulation and pacing matter.

Parts and Wholeness

Conflicting internal states are understood as adaptive responses, not pathology, and worked with rather than overridden.

Healing Relationship

Safety, attunement, and direct communication are central. The relationship itself is part of the work.

Insight and Awareness

Insight emerges once regulation and safety are in place, allowing new choices rather than repeated reactions.

These elements allow flexibility. We enter where it feels safest and most accessible rather than forcing a sequence that does not fit the person or couple in front of me.

Personal Background & Perspective

My understanding of neurodivergent relationship dynamics began early. I grew up in a household shaped by a parent's undiagnosed ADHD, navigating the daily realities of different communication styles, emotional regulation patterns, and stress responses across nearly two decades of family life. Those formative years taught me what it means to live inside the friction of mismatched operating systems in intimate relationships. Not as an observer, but as someone adapting to and learning from those differences daily.

I've also navigated neurodivergent dynamics in adult partnerships and spent nearly two decades working in tech environments where ADHD and autistic cognitive styles were common. While workplace collaboration differs from intimate partnership, that professional immersion reinforced my understanding of neurodivergent patterns as natural variation rather than dysfunction. These combined experiences inform my belief that people are stuck, not broken, and that sustainable change requires working with nervous system realities rather than overriding them.

What to Expect in Session

I communicate directly and literally while staying sensitive to your feelings. I help uncover unspoken or implied meanings. Sessions are structured, collaborative, and goal-oriented.

I accommodate neurodivergent needs including movement, fidgeting, reduced eye contact, and written summaries when helpful. Resistance is understood as regulation rather than defiance. We work with what your nervous system can tolerate rather than pushing past it.

Clients often tell me they feel understood without being pathologized.

License, Training, & More

• Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #156566

• Trained in ACT, CBT, DBT, EFT, IFS, and Process Therapy

• Couples work integrates Gottman, Couples Institute, and EFT for Couples

• Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology, Santa Clara University

• Author of Therapy for Engineers and Everyone Else

•  Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 

• Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers