Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Danielle Grossman, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist | Neurodiverse Couples Specialist | Supervisor Welcome! Hi, I’m Danielle. I specialize in working with neurodiverse couples who care deeply for each other but often feel stuck, misunderstood, or disconnected. If you’ve been struggling to bridge the gap between your experiences, communication styles, or emotional needs, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong. In our work together, we’ll explore what’s getting in the way of connection and build new ways of understanding, relating, and supporting each other —without asking either of you to change who you are. How do you bring two people whose minds, bodies, nervous systems and brains interpret the world and express themselves in very different ways, toward mutual understanding and connection? That is what we figure out together. “What we have here is a failure to communicate” - movie ‘Cool Hand Luke’ My Journey Towards Therapy I graduated from Yale University with a degree in Ethics, Politics, and Economics. After years of exploration and travel, I discovered my passion for psychology and earned my Master’s in Integral Counseling Psychology at the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco. My approach integrates the latest in neuroscience and psychological research with somatic awareness, meditative traditions, and social justice. I am always learning and evolving—both from my clients and from the ever-deepening fields of trauma and neurodiversity. My work has expanded over the years to include consulting internationally with other therapists , allowing me to continue refining and sharing what I learn. A Unique Approach to Neurodiverse Relationships Relationships where one or both partners are neurodivergent can be rich and rewarding—but they also come with unique challenges. Communication breakdowns, sensory mismatches, emotional disconnect, and conflicting needs can leave couples feeling isolated or misunderstood. When I work with neurodiverse couples, we explore how two brilliant but very different minds can build bridges of empathy, clarity, and connection. My role is to help you understand each other better—not to change who you are, but to shift the patterns that are causing pain. What Working Together Looks Like By the time couples come to see me, many are caught in painful cycles of miscommunication, frustration, and disconnection. But the truth is: patterns can change , even when people stay exactly who they are. Together, we work toward: Greater emotional and sensory safety Clearer communication and conflict resolution Stronger mutual understanding More intimacy, joy, and respect Calmer nervous systems and better co-regulation A deeper sense of partnership Some couples want to focus on deep emotional work; others need practical help with daily stressors like parenting, budgeting, or task-sharing. Most find a blend of both is ideal. I adapt to your needs and pace—and your feedback always guides the process. How I Can Support You As a Couple Neurodiverse couples therapy with me can include: Individual check-ins as part of the couples framework Support for relationship-specific challenges (conflict, intimacy, parenting) Guidance through life stressors (chronic illness, fertility, grief, career changes) Referrals to trusted colleagues for individual therapy if needed If you or your partner identifies as neurodivergent, or you’re a neurotypical partner trying to understand your neurodivergent loved one, I’m here to help you move toward connection and compassion—without losing yourselves. Life Stressors and Your Relationship Relationships do not take place in a bubble. My work with couples can include supporting you as a couple with a range of life stressors: Addiction (substance use and behavioral) Problems with food and eating Dealing with narcissistic or toxic people in your lives Deciding whether to have a child or more children Fertility issues Postpartum anxiety and depression Anxiety and depression associated with the menopause transition Chronic illness or medical problems Career transitions Aging parents Death of loved ones Children going through crises or developmental challenges Balancing time between athletics, special interests and relationships Managing difficult interpersonal aspects of your work environment Individual Therapy for Neurodivergent Adults In addition to couples work, I offer individual therapy —especially for adults who identify as neurodivergent or feel “wired differently” from the world around them My approach is always tailored to you —your brain, your body, your experiences, and your goals. Many of my clients come to therapy feeling confused about why life feels so hard, even when they're trying their best. You might feel stuck between what you know you're capable of and what feels possible in everyday life. You might be navigating anxiety, burnout, shame, unstable self-esteem, or patterns of self-blame that have taken root after years of being misunderstood. In our work together, we’ll gently uncover the patterns —emotional, cognitive, and nervous system-based—that have helped you survive, but may no longer be serving you. We’ll explore practical tools for s elf-regulation, build self-compassion, and work toward relationships and routines that actually support who you are. We’ll go deep—but we’ll also stay grounded in the realities of your life, your stressors, and your hopes for change. Education M.A. in Integral Counseling Psychology – California Institute of Integral Studies B.A. in Ethics, Politics & Economics – Yale University Approaches & Modalities Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Somatic Psychology Psychodynamic Theory Mindfulness & Meditative Practices Trauma-Informed Therapy License & Employment Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #42516 Clinical Supervisor - New Path Family of Therapy Centers Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Neurodiverse Couples, Cassandra Syndrome, Sex/Physical Intimacy, Communication, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Eating & Autism, Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Accepting New Individual Clients Only Danielle Grossman Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Specialties and Certifications Neurodiverse Couples General Couples Therapy Depression and Anxiety Christian Couples Counseling Affair Recovery Parenting Grief Life Experience J oyfully married for 20 years, with a relationship that's grown stronger through dedication and mutual support, and a proud father to my young adult daughter. Over 25 years of work in non-profit organizations including urban youth, churches, and schools Adjunct graduate school professor teaching courses on the integration of psychology and spirituality Earlier career in the hospitality and semiconductor industries Education in psychology, theology, and spirituality at the Master & Doctoral levels About Dan Daniel Chung has over twenty years of wide-ranging experience working with people in all stages of life. He is a creative, dedicated therapist who is passionate about helping individuals, couples, and families by coming alongside them, listening with empathy, helping to make sense of their concerns and needs, and providing vital tools to grow and thrive in life. Daniel focuses on providing a safe, nurturing, and judgment-free space that enables clients to heal and positively progress by fostering their agency to empower them to leverage their positive qualities toward lasting, satisfying, and harmonious relationships. He believes in holistic healing toward emotional, spiritual, and relational wellness that activates the mind, body, and spirit, and usher into deeper self-realization, purposeful living, better conflict management, and healthier coping skills over stress and grief. Neurodiverse Relationships Understanding the Neurodiverse Pain and Peace Cycles 💡 In neurodiverse relationships, the Pain Cycle can be especially challenging, as differences in communication styles, emotional expression, and sensory needs often amplify misunderstandings. Daniel helps couples recognize and interrupt these destructive cycles by: Identifying neurodiversity-related triggers that lead to feelings of blame, shame, or isolation. Bridging communication gaps by teaching partners to translate their emotional needs into language that both neurodivergent and neurotypical partners can understand. With his guidance, couples move toward the Peace Cycle, fostering trust, safety, and connection by: Developing shared tools for calm, respectful interactions that honor each partner’s unique needs. Building habits of empathetic listening to navigate differences without judgment or frustration. By teaching couples how to understand and manage their pain and peace cycles through a neurodiverse lens, Daniel equips them to deepen their relationship and embrace each other’s strengths. Enhancing Connection through Neurodiverse Collaboration 🤝 Daniel’s trauma-informed and client-centered approach creates a safe space for neurodiverse couples to explore their unique dynamics. He empowers couples to grow through: Open conversations about neurodiversity , helping partners express their needs and challenges in a non-critical environment. Practicing vulnerability , especially for neurodivergent partners who may find expressing emotions or needs more complex. By fostering collaboration, Daniel helps couples: Set realistic, shared goals that accommodate neurodiverse needs. Strengthen their relationship through teamwork, building a resilient partnership that honors each individual’s contributions. Through his compassionate guidance, neurodiverse couples gain the skills to navigate their differences and cultivate a relationship grounded in mutual respect and understanding. Navigating the Unique Challenges of Neurodiverse Relationships 🌟 For neurodiverse couples, challenges often arise from differences in how partners process and express emotions, manage sensory input, or approach social interactions. Daniel helps couples by: Promoting self-awareness : Encouraging neurodivergent partners to understand how their sensory sensitivities or executive functioning differences impact the relationship, while helping neurotypical partners appreciate these unique perspectives. Focusing on strengths : Highlighting the unique skills and insights each partner brings to the relationship. Providing practical strategies : Offering tailored tools to help neurodiverse couples navigate everyday challenges, such as managing overstimulation or scheduling meaningful quality time. Daniel believes that by embracing neurodiversity, couples can turn perceived obstacles into opportunities for growth and connection. Dan's Neuro-Informed Therapeutic Approach Daniel’s therapeutic approach is neuro-informed, trauma-sensitive, and client-centered , supporting clients in their healing journey while honoring the unique needs of neurodivergent individuals and their partners. He creates a working alliance rooted in empathy, acceptance, openness, and flexibility, ensuring that the therapeutic process is accessible and tailored to diverse neurodiverse experiences. Daniel’s work is informed by his deep understanding of how neurodiversity intersects with emotional and relational patterns. He provides tools and strategies that are practical and sensitive to sensory, communication, and executive functioning differences. Having worked with clients from diverse cultures, ethnicities, and neurodiverse profiles, Daniel relates to clients with authenticity, compassion, humility, and sensitivity. He strives to create a safe and empowering space where all clients feel seen, understood, and supported. My Therapeutic Modalities Daniel incorporates the following neuro-informed approaches into his work: Trauma-Informed Therapy : Acknowledging how trauma manifests differently in neurodivergent individuals and tailoring interventions accordingly. Restoration Therapy : Helping clients recognize and reshape destructive relational cycles, particularly those impacted by neurodiverse dynamics. Emotion-Focused Therapy : Supporting partners in expressing and interpreting emotions in ways that bridge neurodiverse communication styles. Brief Solution-Focused Therapy : Offering actionable, goal-oriented strategies that align with each client’s cognitive and sensory preferences. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) : Adapting CBT techniques to accommodate the thought processes and learning styles of neurodiverse individuals. Experiential Therapy : Using creative, hands-on techniques that honor sensory needs and promote meaningful emotional exploration. Adult Autism & ADHD Assessments Daniel specializes in providing neurodiversity-supportive assessments and therapeutic services designed to help individuals reach their full potential. His comprehensive approach includes administering questionnaires, engaging in discussions, making observations, and using tools such as the MIDAS-2 and SRS-2 for Autism, as well as the CAARS and Brown EF/A scales for ADHD. Daniel works collaboratively with clients to explore their unique traits and understand the value of a diagnosis in fostering success and fulfillment. Daniel also offers guidance, resources, and support to individuals and their families throughout the assessment process. By taking a holistic view, he identifies each person’s strengths and challenges from multiple perspectives. His goal is to serve as an ally, helping clients navigate the assessment journey and discover pathways to growth, progress, and lasting change. In his experience, Daniel’s clients have found the assessment process to be a transformative opportunity for self-discovery, leading to greater understanding and acceptance of themselves and fostering empathy in their relationships. Whether confirming or ruling out a diagnosis, Daniel emphasizes that neurodiversity is not a defect but a unique set of traits accompanied by gifts and areas for growth. With the right tools, clients can build essential skills to improve social, professional, and personal relationships. Clients Couples Individuals Families Adults Adolescents License Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapy #149769 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc. Specialty Areas: Emotion Focused Therapy, Neurodiverse Couples, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Christian, Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Emotional Intimacy, Assessment, Communication, Not Accepting New Clients, Autism, AuDHD, Emotional Regulation, Family Conflict, General Couples Coaching, Life Transitions, Attachment Daniel Chung Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Colleen Kahn Not accepting new clients See our other clinicians or Fill our our contact form to get matched Welcome, I am so delighted you are here. My Passion for Neurodiverse Couples I am dedicated to helping neurodiverse couples find a new way to love and appreciate each other. Understanding Neurodiversity First, let me cover the basic terms. A neurodiverse relationship is where at least one partner is neurodivergent (Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, Down’s Syndrome...). This means that you and your partner are different; not better or worse. Neurodiversity may be a new concept for you. Maybe it's what you have been searching for but didn't know. It may be an awakening to the difficulties you have been experiencing in your relationship but could not quite articulate. In fact, many neurodivergent adults have gone undiagnosed for most of their lives. Neurodivergent is “the idea that people experience and interact with the world around them in different ways; there is no ‘right’ way of thinking, learning and behaving, and differences are not viewed as deficits,” according to Harvard Health. Please know that I recognize the distinct challenges you face. My personal experience has provided me with a first-hand rich understanding of the intricacies of neurodiversity. Communication Struggles Neurodiverse couples often struggle with communication breakdowns . The neurotypical partner may struggle to understand the neurodivergent partner's unique needs. The neurodivergent partner may face challenges with ADHD/Autism in expressing themselves in a way that resonates with their neurotypical partner. This two-sided communication breakdown is called the double empathy problem. Understanding this helps reduce blaming one person for the problem. This is the tip of the iceberg so to speak and one of many issues that you may be dealing with. I truly understand the frustrations that can arise. A Safe Place for Healing I am here to provide a safe and understanding space for you to explore your issues and relationship. My therapeutic approach offers a clear road map that emphasizes: fostering mutual understanding and compassion, enhancing communication skills, providing exercises and tools that you can work on separately and together, and embracing the unique strengths that each partner brings to relationships. Neurotypical Partners (Cassandra Syndrome) My journey is not just a professional one but also deeply personal. If you are in a relationship with a neurodivergent partner, it may feel isolating, frustrating, and exhausting. You may spend a lot of time and energy trying to make sense of your partner's behaviors and your reactions. You may seek books, podcasts, or any article to understand why your relationship is different. You may feel misunderstood, isolated, disconnected, and hopeless. I have been there. I have been married for 19 years. Every experience is unique. You are so special. You deserve to be seen and heard. Supporting Autism and Cancer: I recognize the importance of a compassionate, supportive ally for autistic individuals who have been diagnosed with cancer. I had the honor and privilege to work bedside with neurodivergent pediatric oncology patients and their families at Stanford Children’s Hospital. My firsthand experience at Stanford, expertise in supporting neurodivergent individuals, and being a stage four cancer survivor myself allows me to be a source of comfort and strength on the path to healing. I am here to provide a trusted environment that acknowledges and addresses your unique needs when facing a cancer diagnosis. You can read more about Cancer and Autism by clicking here . About Me: I bring a unique blend of professional expertise, passion and personal experience to my practice. I am a proud mother of two sensationally strong willed teenagers. I am also a former software engineer turned therapist. My journey took a fascinating turn from the world of coding to the intricate landscapes of the human mind. I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communications and forged a successful IT career starting at Apple Computers. My love of learning led me into engineering and product management. I became the first female self-taught software engineer at Alcatel TeleCommunications. My team dubbed me the engineer whisperer. I was the essential communication bridge between our neurodiverse engineering team and our neurotypical sales and marketing team. I eventually learned that my heart yearned for something more – a meaningful connection with people and the opportunity to contribute to their lives in a significant way. Driven by my desire to help others, I embarked on a transformative path towards becoming a therapist and returned to school. I received my Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy and Art Therapy from Notre Dame de Namur University. While in school, I cultivated my passion for mental health and overall well-being. How I Work: My therapeutic neuro-informed approach covers a broad range of modalities. I tailor each session to meet the unique needs of each couple. My work is rooted in a client-centered, humanistic approach emphasizing compassion, building understanding, inclusive communication, empowerment with respect and dignity. In our sessions, we'll work on enhancing your relationship through mindfulness and effective communication. Let's navigate the challenges together so you can build a stronger, more connected partnership. Other areas of focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): Adolescent Counseling Art Therapy Caregiver Support Co-Parenting Couples Counseling Cancer Support Divorce Recovery Infertility Individual Counseling Life Transitions Neurodiversity New Parents Parent Coaching Teen Counseling Clients Couples Individuals Families License & Certifications Registered Associate, MFTA #324701 Board Certified Art Therapist (ATR-BC) Neurodiversity Specialist Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc . Specialty Areas: Cassandra Syndrome, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Teens, Neurodiverse Couples, Communication, Not Accepting New Clients Colleen Kahn Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Chris Mercurio Neurodiverse Couples Specialist | Associate Marriage and Family Therapist At a Glance Neurodiverse couples and individuals Systems thinker with 20 years in tech Author of Therapy for Engineers and Everyone Else Integrative clinician focused on getting unstuck Trauma informed, neurodiversity affirming Long-term recovery I work with neurodiverse couples and individuals who feel stuck in patterns that logic alone cannot resolve. Many of the people I see are thoughtful, capable, and deeply invested in their relationships, yet continue to run into the same breakdowns around communication, emotional connection, and day-to-day functioning. My work focuses on helping people understand why these patterns persist and how to interrupt them in ways that actually fit their nervous systems. Much of my clinical focus is with ADHD neurotypical–neurodivergent and dual-neurodivergent couples navigating pursuit–withdraw cycles, invisible labor imbalances, emotional overload, and chronic misunderstanding. I also work with neurodivergent individuals experiencing burnout, masking exhaustion, executive dysfunction, and grief related to late diagnosis or long-term misattunement. Rather than organizing my work around a single modality, I use an integrative framework built around five core elements that consistently drive change across effective therapies: Experience and Emotion Change requires more than insight. We work with lived emotional experience, not just ideas about it. Brain and Body Integration Patterns are held in the nervous system, not just the mind. Regulation and pacing matter. Parts and Wholeness Conflicting internal states are understood as adaptive responses, not pathology, and worked with rather than overridden. Healing Relationship Safety, attunement, and direct communication are central. The relationship itself is part of the work. Insight and Awareness Insight emerges once regulation and safety are in place, allowing new choices rather than repeated reactions. These elements allow flexibility. We enter where it feels safest and most accessible rather than forcing a sequence that does not fit the person or couple in front of me. Personal Background & Perspective My understanding of neurodivergent relationship dynamics began early. I grew up in a household shaped by a parent's undiagnosed ADHD, navigating the daily realities of different communication styles, emotional regulation patterns, and stress responses across nearly two decades of family life. Those formative years taught me what it means to live inside the friction of mismatched operating systems in intimate relationships. Not as an observer, but as someone adapting to and learning from those differences daily. I've also navigated neurodivergent dynamics in adult partnerships and spent nearly two decades working in tech environments where ADHD and autistic cognitive styles were common. While workplace collaboration differs from intimate partnership, that professional immersion reinforced my understanding of neurodivergent patterns as natural variation rather than dysfunction. These combined experiences inform my belief that people are stuck, not broken, and that sustainable change requires working with nervous system realities rather than overriding them. What to Expect in Session I communicate directly and literally while staying sensitive to your feelings. I help uncover unspoken or implied meanings. Sessions are structured, collaborative, and goal-oriented. I accommodate neurodivergent needs including movement, fidgeting, reduced eye contact, and written summaries when helpful. Resistance is understood as regulation rather than defiance. We work with what your nervous system can tolerate rather than pushing past it. Clients often tell me they feel understood without being pathologized. License, Training, & More Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #156566 Trained in ACT, CBT, DBT, EFT, IFS, and Process Therapy Couples work integrates Gottman, Couples Institute, and EFT for Couples Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology, Santa Clara University Author of Therapy for Engineers and Everyone Else Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients, Neurodiverse Couples, ADHD, Autism, Communication, ACT, CBT, DBT, Emotional Intimacy, Addiction, ND at Work, ASD/Allistic Couples, AuDHD, Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Discernment, Emotional Regulation, General Couples Coaching, Integrative Spiritual Therapy, Intimate Partner Violence, Life Transitions, Trauma, Attachment, Assessment, Emotion Focused Therapy Chris Mercurio Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you improve your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back Education & Specialties: Neuro-Inclusive Nourishment Specialist Bachelor of Arts in Psychology, Aurora University Certified Life Coach, Universal Coach Institute Client Focus: Neurodiverse women Individuals with Autism, ADHD, Highly Sensitive Persons Neurodiverse clients with eating struggles Neurodiverse couples Coaching Modalities: Solution-focused strategies Action planning Mindfulness techniques Motivational interviewing Journaling Cognitive-behavioral techniques My Story Hello, I'm Cassie Clayton. Since 2016, I've dedicated my career to supporting individuals on their journeys to recovery from eating disorders and mental health challenges. My path began as a Recovery Coach, inspired by my own experiences navigating recovery. Recognizing the profound impact of connection and support from those with lived experience, I've committed to helping others share their stories and find healing. Supporting Neurodiverse Couples At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, I specialize in working individually with a partner experiencing eating issues that affect their relationship. Understanding the intricate dynamics of neurodiverse partnerships, I provide tailored support to address these challenges. With your consent, I collaborate closely with your neurodiverse couples counselor to ensure our efforts are aligned, promoting healthier eating habits and enhancing relationship satisfaction. Neuro-inclusive Nourishment I am deeply passionate about empowering individuals to feel seen, heard, and supported without judgment. My empathetic, non-judgmental approach fosters an environment where you can thrive, receiving the encouragement and guidance needed to move forward. I specialize in helping clients articulate their visions, set attainable goals, overcome obstacles, and collaboratively develop actionable plans. In addition to one-on-one support, I've facilitated outpatient and Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) therapeutic support groups, creating safe spaces for clients to connect, process emotions, and reduce eating disorder behaviors. I prioritize meeting clients where they are and assessing their unique needs, ensuring that each individual receives tailored support throughout their recovery journey. Personalized Care In a world often dominated by diet culture and unrealistic expectations, I advocate for a personalized approach to healing one’s relationship with food and body image. I celebrate the uniqueness of each individual, understanding that there is no 'one size fits all' solution in recovery. With extensive experience working with young adults and adults facing body image issues and disordered eating, I am dedicated to helping you navigate your path to wellness. Whether your struggles have been ongoing or more recent, you deserve compassionate support and understanding. I invite you to share your story with me. Together, we can explore meaningful steps toward your recovery—because even the smallest steps can lead to significant change. Specialty Areas: Eating & Autism, Communication, Autism, ADHD, Emotional Intimacy Cassie Clayton Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Relationships can be challenging, and for neurodiverse couples, those challenges often come with unique layers of complexity. But here’s the good news—you don’t have to face them alone. For over 40 years, I’ve been in a neurodiverse relationship with my high school sweetheart. Together, we’ve navigated grief and loss, financial storms, and health crises, and we even separated for two years. My personal experience and advanced clinical training in counseling psychology equip me with a deep understanding of the joys and hurdles neurodiverse couples face. If you feel your relationship is on shaky ground due to neurodiversity, I’m here to help. Tackling Common Neurodiverse Relationship Challenges One of the most common patterns I see in therapy is communication struggles . Misunderstandings can escalate quickly when partners don’t know how to express their needs or interpret each other’s cues. I help couples identify the roadblocks in their communication and introduce strategies like active listening, open needs-sharing, and negotiation that pave the way for deeper understanding. Another frequent challenge is balancing emotional regulation . One partner may feel constantly overwhelmed or anxious while the other seems far more relaxed, creating a divide in how emotions are handled. Together, we’ll work on finding a middle ground—creating space for feelings without constantly trying to “fix” each other. “We are born in a relationship, we are wounded in a relationship, and we can be healed in a relationship.” --Harville Hendrix And then, there are the triggers . No relationship is immune to them, but in neurodiverse relationships, these triggers can be heightened, especially due to sensory issues. We’ll explore ways to identify each partner’s triggers and develop techniques to reduce overstimulation. Whether it’s through setting boundaries, creating calming routines, or practicing grounding exercises, we’ll find tools that work for you. In addition to weekly or twice-a-month therapy sessions, I also offer Couples Retreats and Intensives and ASD and ADHD Assessments. Couples Retreats & Intensives Struggling in your relationship? It’s time to take action. My couples intensives are designed to help you and your partner reconnect, heal, and move forward—quickly and effectively. Unlike traditional therapy, which can stretch over months or even years, intensives deliver meaningful progress in just a matter of days. Through a blend of evidence-based therapeutic techniques and intuitive guidance, you’ll work with me in person or over Zoom in a focused, immersive environment. Whether you’re facing the pain of trauma, stuck in unhealthy patterns, or standing at the edge of separation, these sessions provide a clear path forward. ASD & ADHD Assessments Neurodivergence is part of who you are. For clarity, neurodiversity-affirming assessments unveil strengths and foster growth, helping individuals thrive in a world that often misunderstands Autism and ADHD. I use this thorough, personalized process utilizing tools like MIDAS-2 and SRS-2 for Autism and CAARS and Brown EF/A scales for ADHD, alongside interviews and evaluations for meaningful results. It’s not just a diagnosis but a gateway to self-understanding and empowerment. Recognizing the challenges faced by neurodivergent adults, this approach celebrates individuality, unlocking potential, enhancing communication, and building social confidence. The goal is to help people feel seen and understood in daily life. These assessments aim to offer what many have wished for during their journeys by providing support that often feels out of reach. This process can be a transformative first step for those ready to pursue clarity and empowerment. Why I’m Different I’m Barbara Lazarony, but everyone calls me Blaze. I bring more than theoretical knowledge—I’ve lived this experience. My personal insights as someone in a neurodiverse relationship, combined with evidence-based therapeutic approaches, create a unique space for couples to thrive. Every couple’s story is different, and I’m here to honor yours. It’s not just about managing conflict—it’s about building a foundation of patience, love, and mutual understanding. My Back Story I'm a mature adult living out my third career; my first role was working in retail for twenty years, where I mentored executives and managed $2.5 billion in sales across 42 locations in the United States. I was uber-successful with a sassy job title and a large office overlooking Market Street in San Francisco. I loved it! But, little did I know back then that I was an overachieving workaholic, and the signs that my health was an issue couldn’t be ignored any longer. In 2003, I was told I had thyroid cancer, and I decided to resign from my job. Those were dark times for me; in addition to cancer, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). It was a journey, and I sought support from modern and holistic medicine, along with help from fantastic therapists and coaches. The truth was, I had no idea who I was or what I wanted out of life beyond my job title. As I was healing from cancer, I earned an Advanced Certified Integral Coach certification and started my own business. I loved being a coach for eighteen years but realized I could not help people achieve long-lasting success, fulfillment, and healing because I didn’t have the skills, training, and knowledge to get to the root of the issues holding them back. To support people in the way I wanted to, I decided to go to graduate school at the age of fifty-three and earn my Master's degree in Counseling Psychology. Since finishing my degree and earning my LMFT, I have navigated different types of cancer twice and supported my life partner through his cancer journey. And sadly, no one in the medical profession told me I had both an acquired and genetic form of neurodiversity; it took me a while to discover that my brain was wired differently. I know what it feels like to be different from everyone else! I am someone who understands the deep well of trauma and grief that needs to be acknowledged and validated in therapy. So, Enough About Me, Let's Talk About You... If you and your partner are navigating the challenges of a neurodiverse relationship, reach out today. You deserve a fulfilling and strong relationship, no matter what life throws your way. We’ll work toward clear communication, deeper connection, and lasting love. You’re not alone—I’m ready to guide you on this path. Specialties and Certifications Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist 151788 Neurodiverse Couples Specialist Certified Autism & ADHD Assessment Specialist Advanced Certified Trauma Specialist Advanced Certified Integral Coach Brainspotting Certified-Level I & II Life Experience Has personal experience in multiple neurodiverse relationships Worked with thousands of people as a Coach, Manager, Leader, and Mentor Former careers as an Executive and Business Coach, Executive Director in a non-profit, and Senior Director in retail-coaching people, as well as managing staffing operations and finances Education Bachelor of Science in Home Economics, Fashion Merchandising, The Ohio State University Master of Science in Clinical Psychology, Sofia University, also earned a Certificate in Creative Expression. More about Barbara (Blaze) Diagnosed as Neurodiverse 20 years ago Offers Neurodiverse Couples Retreats Married for 35+ years to her high school sweetheart, together for 40 years Cancer Survivor -3 times! Specialty Areas: Assessment, Sex/Physical Intimacy, Kink/Poly-Affirmed, Discernment, Neurodiverse Couples, Autism, Cassandra Syndrome, Couples Retreats/Intensives, Brainspotting, Emotional Intimacy, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Blaze Lazarony Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Amanda is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a mother of 4, plus 2 children from a blended partnership. She is currently working towards the completion of her doctoral degree in counseling education and supervision. Amanda specializes in working with couples and individuals who want to strengthen their lives and relationships through positive communication, conflict management, and improvement in intimacy as well as self-care, so they are able to continue to care for others. Using a non-judgmental, strength-based approach, Amanda guides couples in finding solutions to problems, while also maintaining a safe and supportive space where couples can communicate safely and openly about the fears that paralyze them, such as fear of loss, disappointment, rejection, and loss of self. Neurodiverse Couples Communication is important in every relationship, and it can be particularly challenging for a neurodiverse couple. Amanda believes that it is vital to identify solid communication strategies between partners, using specific techniques for handling relationship troubles, whether perpetual or solvable. These techniques encourage the understanding that emotions are important, there is no absolute reality, only two subjective ones, acceptance is crucial, and a development of fondness and admiration within the relationship. Amanda encourages couples to celebrate the small steps towards a larger goal and helps keep focus on what the couple can do to set themselves up to thrive. Parenting Neurodiverse Children Amanda has personal experience as a mother of a neurodivergent 13 year old, working through the white waters of concern for her child’s behavior and development, receiving the diagnosis of neurodiversity, and wondering what it means to parent a child who is neurodiverse. Parenting neurodivergent children can be exponentially intense. Amanda teaches parents positive parenting skills that encourage the use of “Why?” to address the child’s behavior, focusing on an understanding of the purpose that behavior serves the child and what they are trying to tell you. Allowing the behavior to inform what needs to be put into place ahead of time to help the child manage the particular challenge, and also ensuring that consequences are related to the behavior/issue as a last resort to addressing behavior. Amanda encourages parents to catch their child’s positive behaviors whenever possible and to name specifically what they see so as to encourage the positive behavior to reoccur. Other areas of focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): Addiction Affair Recovery Major Life Transition Support, co-parenting, blended families, separation/divorce Parent Coaching Sex Therapy Clients: Couples and families Modalities: Coaching Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) Gottman Method Internal Family Systems (IFS) Solution Focused Brief (SFBT) Strength-Based Structural Family Therapy License: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT #150002 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc. Specialty Areas: Neurodiverse Couples, Cassandra Syndrome, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Sex/Physical Intimacy, Intimate Partner Violence, Christian, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Amanda Silvester Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Adela Stone Not accepting new clients See our other clinicians or Fill our our contact form to get matched Adela is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who graduated with an MA in Clinical Counseling. She also has a Master’s degree in Journalism which she received in Europe where she is from. She speaks three languages and understands the need to tailor therapy based on cultural backgrounds. Her experience as an immigrant helps Adela to empathize with her client’s life challenges, and her early parental and spousal losses enable her to connect with others in mourning. It has also boosted her resilience and given her a worldview atypical for her age. She has gone through a big marital challenge herself during her current second marriage and has undergone couples therapy. She is now a part of a blended family which enables her to understand some of the tricky dynamics of step parenting. NEURODIVERSE COUPLES: The most common complaint of a neurotypical person in partnership with a neurodiverse person is the partner's rigidity. Often, the individuals in this type of relationship suffered attachment injuries. Making Sense of Differences I can help you shed light on some of your partner's behaviors and make sense of the hurt, misunderstanding and resentment you may feel. It is normal to go through grieving: for the past of your relationship that wasn't neurotypical as well as for the future of your union that will be always be a bit different. Your brains aren't wired the same way. Neuroscience research show us that People with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) may appear stuck or have shutdowns or meltdowns because they are often in a state of overwhelm in which someone with Asperger's is scared, frustrated, or angry, as well as withdrawn. This state is often referred to as Defense Mode. Defense Mode I can help you understand the Defense Mode that a neurodivergent person often employs so that you can help yourself or your partner from shutting down so often. Perhaps you know what the signs of Defense Mode are by now. The neurodivergent partner isn't trying to be mean. In fact, they are doing the best they can with the emotional resources they have, AND they can do better: for the sake of both of you as human beings worthy of love and acceptance, and for the sake of the future of your relationship. There are ways to help yourself or your loved one come out of Defense Mode. The two fundamental ones center around decompression time and trust building which is comprised of four necessary pillars that we can work on putting together. Your partner isn't being willful. Their definition of an issue you are dealing with just isn't the same as yours. Listening to Understand Talking in order to connect is a basic human need but we need to have a common shared understanding first. The message about what this shared understanding actually is can get blurred or corrupted. If you have a common language you can define shared values and shared expectations. Remember that forcing a conversation will lead nowhere. We can work on how to ensure an important conversation does take place though. I'm sure you know listening is important but are you actually using efficient and respectful listening with your partner? If you are, both of you will experience less frustration. Listen to understand, not to form a defensive retort in your mind as they speak. Understand what it is like to be them. I get that it isn't fair to you, the neurotypical partner, it feels as though you are doing all the work. I agree, it isn't fair but you are in a partnership and are here so I assume you do want to try. I am in the business of hope and positivity and would like to offer you some. I have seen neurodiverse marriages succeed. Other areas of focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): Healthy Grieving as a Couple Couples going through life transitions Co-parenting Kink-aware couples therapy Couples with mismatched sexual desires LGBTQIA+ ally Differences in sexual taste and style Guidance through nonmonogamy/polyamory Blended families/step families Languages: Fluent in Czech, French and English Clients: Couples, Families, Young Adults Modalities: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness-based Therapy, Gestalt, Positive Psychology, Existential Therapy, Art Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy. License: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT #143787, APCC #9260 Specialty Areas: Sex/Physical Intimacy, Kink/Poly-Affirmed, Neurodiverse Couples, Cassandra Syndrome, DBT, Intimate Partner Violence, Blended Families, Emotional Intimacy, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Not Accepting New Clients Adela Stone Take an Autism Test

Holiday stress neurodiverse couples Holidays amplify everything. The warmth. The noise. The expectations. Set your shared expectations. Connection over perfection. Plan ahead for road bumps. Pick a pause signal. Two taps. Hand on the table. When it shows up, pause. No debate. Take a break and find a place to talk. Map the sensory load ahead of time. List hotspots: noise, lights, smells, touch, crowds. Plan supports: earbuds, softer lighting, layers, step-out spot, fidget. Exit and return. Regulate, don’t apologize. Pace the day. Anchor plans to events, not the clock. “After pie, we call your sister.” “Before we leave, we take a walk without family.” Keep talks small. Fifteen minutes. One topic. One decision. Handle monologues kindly. Agree on a cue. A light touch on the watch. A finger on the napkin. Speaker lands the point. “Thanks for the cue—I’m wrapping up.” Then invite others in. Different styles. A shared plan. Gratitude without gaslighting. Say what happened. Communicate feelings. Express appreciation for effort. “I see that you tried the plan. I’m disappointed, but I am grateful you tried. I know the room was loud.” Truth plus gratitude. Repair with dignity. Repair script. Speaker: “I own [behavior]. It landed as [impact]. I’ll do [specific repair] by [time].” Listener: “Thanks for owning it. What I need next time is [one behavior].” Short. Concrete. Family dynamics. Decide your lines. Topics to skip. How to step away. How to leave early. Tag-team. One leads. One scans the room. Switch every 30 minutes. Debrief fast. On the drive home. Three easy questions: What helped? What was hard? What we’ll do differently? Write it down. Try it next time. Why this works: Mixed-neurotype couples often misread each other. It’s not bad character. It’s different processing. Clear signals and repeatable supports break the loop. Ready to carry these habits year-round? [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Lea Choi Specialties · Neurodiverse Couples Counseling · ADHD & Autism Relationship Coaching · Emotional Regulation · Executive Functioning Support · Complex Parenting Challenges · Multicultural & Intercultural Relationships · LGBTQIA+, Poly & Kink-Affirming · Identity & Self-Exploration Life Experience Lived Experience as AuDHD and in a Neurodiverse Relationship – Navigated firsthand the challenges of differing communication styles, sensory needs, and emotional processing. Bridging the Gap Between Neurotypes – Learned how to shift from misinterpretation and frustration to mutual understanding and connection. From Isolation to Communication – Overcame years of feeling unseen by developing relationship strategies that work for both partners, not just one. Reframing Love & Connection – Discovered that love isn’t always verbal—it can be expressed through small, meaningful actions. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT # 151193 , Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Learn More about Lea! Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners References Crompton, C. J., Hallett, S., Ropar, D., Flynn, E., & Fletcher-Watson, S. (2020). Neurotype-matching, but not being autistic, influences self- and observer-ratings of interpersonal rapport. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 586171. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.586171/full Driver, J. L., & Gottman, J. M. (2004). Daily marital interactions and positive affect during marital conflict among newlywed couples. Family Process, 43(3), 301–314. https://scottbarrykaufman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Driver-and-Gottman-2004.pdf Hull, L., Mandy, W., Lai, M.-C., Baron-Cohen, S., Allison, C., Smith, P., Petrides, K. V., & Cassidy, S. (2019). Development and validation of the Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q). Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 49(3), 819–833. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6394586/ Johns Hopkins Medicine. (2023). Minimizing holiday stress for children with autism. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/stress-management-important-at-any-age/minimizing-holiday-stress-for-children-with-autism MacLennan, K., O’Donnell, M., Lorenz, L., & Heasman, B. (2021). The complex sensory experiences of autistic adults. Autism in Adulthood, 3(4), 328–338. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9213348/ Milton, D. E. M. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: The “double empathy problem.” Disability & Society, 27(6), 883–887. https://kar.kent.ac.uk/62639/1/Double%20empathy%20problem.pdf Patil, O., Nagamatsu, C., & Connolly, J. D. (2023). Sensory processing differences in individuals with autism spectrum disorder: Evidence from electrophysiological markers. Frontiers in Neuroscience, 17, 1191945. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10687592/ Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Frequently Asked Questions Tip: Want more resources? 📄 See our Quick Fact Sheet for a short, skimmable overview of our services. 📖 Read our in-depth Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Article for a full overview of challenges, therapy approaches, and more. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS 1. What is neurodiverse couples counseling? Answer: Neurodiverse couples counseling is therapy designed for relationships where one or both partners are autistic, ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergent. It focuses on improving communication, building emotional safety, and helping partners understand each other’s unique ways of thinking and feeling. Unlike traditional counseling, this approach uses strategies that account for neurological differences so couples feel understood and supported. 2. Can autistic or ADHD partners feel empathy and love? Answer: Yes. Autistic and ADHD partners are fully capable of empathy and love. They may simply express or process emotions differently. This difference is sometimes misunderstood as “lacking empathy,” but in reality, it’s about a mismatch in communication styles. Therapy helps both partners recognize and share empathy in ways that strengthen connection. 3. What is the Double Empathy Problem? Answer: The Double Empathy Problem describes how both autistic and neurotypical partners can struggle to understand each other’s perspectives. It’s not a “deficit” in one person—it’s a two-way misunderstanding caused by different communication and emotional styles. Counseling helps bridge this gap so both partners feel heard and valued. 4. What challenges bring neurodiverse couples to therapy? Answer: Common reasons include recurring conflicts about “tone” or chores, emotional distance, sensory overload, mismatched needs for intimacy, parenting struggles, or feeling like you’re speaking “different languages.” These challenges don’t mean your relationship is broken—they mean you may need tools built specifically for neurodiverse partnerships. 5. How does therapy for neurodiverse couples work? Answer: We focus on eliminating unhelpful patterns, creating emotional safety, and building a roadmap toward closeness. Sessions may involve the couple together, plus individual support for each partner. Our therapists teach practical strategies to improve communication, manage conflict, and reconnect —without blame, pressure, or trying to “fix” one person. 6. What makes your approach different from traditional couples therapy? Answer: Traditional therapy often overlooks neurodiversity, sometimes even suggesting autistic partners can’t feel empathy or love. We reject that myth. Our team customizes every counseling plan to the unique needs of each couple—we don’t believe in one-size-fits-all therapy. While many traditional approaches overlook neurodiversity, we design our methods specifically for autistic and ADHD partners and their loved ones. Three things set us apart: Ongoing Specialized Training – Every therapist receives weekly training on neurodiversity-focused content, ensuring our approaches stay current and effective. Collaborative Case Support – We hold weekly case consultations and supervision so that no couple’s challenges are handled in isolation—your therapist has a full team behind them. Continuous Professional Growth – All team members pursue ongoing continuing education in neurodiverse relationships, keeping us at the forefront of best practices. In addition, we use a strengths-based, solution-focused model that emphasizes safety, communication, and mutual understanding. With your permission, we may integrate a couples therapist plus individual therapists for each partner, coordinating care so both partners feel fully supported. 7. What if one partner isn’t sure about being autistic or ADHD? Answer: That’s okay. A formal diagnosis isn’t required to start. Many couples come to us simply because they notice “different wiring” is affecting communication and connection. Therapy works whether or not a diagnosis is in place—and if desired, we can help California residents explore assessments for autism or ADHD. 8. Will this type of counseling actually help our relationship? Answer: Yes. Research shows that solution-focused therapy helps couples shift away from blame and toward problem-solving and emotional connection (McDowell et al., 2023). Many neurodiverse couples who work with us report more trust, less conflict, and a stronger bond over time. Change is usually gradual, but very possible. 9. How long does it take to see progress? Answer: Many couples feel relief within the first few sessions once they understand their patterns and learn new strategies. Meaningful progress takes time, but with consistency, couples often notice more empathy, teamwork, and closeness after just a few months. 10. Who do you work with? Answer: We support neurodiverse couples nationwide through online therapy or coaching. 11. Do you take insurance? Answer: No, we are a private-pay practice. For California therapy clients, we can provide superbills for possible out-of-network reimbursement. Please note that coaching services (all clients outside California) are not covered by insurance. 12. What if we’re in crisis? Answer: While we are here to help, we are not a crisis service. If you are in immediate danger, please call 911. For urgent mental health support, dial or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. LEARN MORE 📖 Read our in-depth Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Article for a full overview of challenges, therapy approaches, and more. 📄 See our Quick Fact Sheet for a short, skimmable overview of services. Last reviewed: Aug 22, 2025 • Author: Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT (Clinical Director) GETTING STARTED We would love to create a safe place for you to break the painful patterns of the past and communicate in a new way. Please fill out our contact form and we will be glad to connect you with one of our team members. Mitchell, P., Sheppard, E., & Cassidy, S. (2021). Autism and the double empathy problem: Implications for development and mental health. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 39(1), 1–18. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjdp.12350 Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

M enopaus e a neurodiverse communication Do apologies seem to make things worse? Do you dread apologizing? Why do apologies go sideways in neurodiverse relationships?Because intent and impact get lost in translation. All couples fight. The happy ones are able to repair. Here are three apologies that backfire—and what to try instead: “Sorry you feel that way.” This dismisses impact and centers the speaker. Say this instead: “I can see I hurt you. That’s on me. Here’s what I’ll do differently tonight: put away my phone during dinner.” Why it works: Responsibility + concrete next step rebuilds trust. “The reason I did it is…” Explanations feel like excuses when pain is fresh. Say this instead: “First, I own it. I interrupted you in front of your parents. I’ll make a repair by naming it and apologizing in front of them.” Why it works: Ownership before context, and a specific repair offer. “I’m sorry, but you know how my brain works.” Neurotype is real, but “but” erases the apology. Say this instead: “My ADHD/autism made this hard, AND I still owe you follow-through. I’ll set a 6 p.m. alarm and text you a photo of the mailed check.” Why it works: Acknowledges neurotype + commits to an observable behavior. When you get apologies right, it’s a huge relief. But how do we learn to do this? Make your apologies neurodiversity-smart. Use clear, literal language. Skip sarcasm, hints, and loaded questions. Name the impact in the partner’s terms. Impact beats intent when repairing trust. Offer a micro-repair that is visible and time-bound. Think “what will my partner see by 7 p.m.?” Expect different apology needs by neurotype. Mixed neurotype pairs often misread sincerity and tone. That’s a two-way gap, not a character flaw. Build a shared repair script. Speaker: “I own what I did: [behavior] . I see it landed as [impact] . I will [specific repair] by [time] .” Listener: “Thanks for owning it. What I need most next time is [one behavior] . I’m open to hearing brief context later.” If apologies keep stalling, use a daily check-in ritual. Ask: “Any repairs owed?” Track it in writing so working memory and shame don’t hijack progress. Why this matters for ADHD: Relationships with untreated ADHD report higher conflict and shorter stability. Repairs must be simple, externalized, and scheduled. Bottom line. Don’t chase the perfect apology. Chase the measurable repair. If apologies keep missing each other, we can help you build a shared repair language that fits both brains. [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Jenny Pan Specialties Neurodiverse & Neurotypical Couples Counseling Complex PTSD Cassandra Support Divorce & Blended Family Work Parenting Autism and ADHD Betrayal & Affairs Recovery Work Multicultural Relationship Challenges LGBTQ+ Affirming and Relationship Support Life Experience Lived 15 Years in a Neurodivergent Marriage Before either of us had language for autism or ADHD, we struggled to connect across invisible neurological lines. I know firsthand the exhaustion, confusion, and deep love that coexist in neurodiverse relationships—and how understanding changes everything. Raised Two Neurodivergent Children in a Blended Family Parenting through sensory sensitivities, shifting routines, and co-parenting across households taught me empathy in action. Our family is beautifully complex, living proof that difference and connection can thrive together. Bridged Cultures, Languages, and Identities As a first-generation Taiwanese American, I learned early how to translate between worlds—Mandarin and English, East and West, expectation and emotion. That experience now guides how I help multicultural and neurodiverse couples find shared meaning without losing themselves. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT # 155590, Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Get Booked with Jenny! Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners References Chapple, M., et al. (2021). Overcoming the Double Empathy Problem. NIH/PMC. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8354525/ PMC Crompton, C. J., et al. (2020). Neurotype-matching… rapport in autistic vs non-autistic pairs. Frontiers in Psychology. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.586171/full Frontiers Driver, J. L., & Gottman, J. M. (2004). Daily marital interactions and positive affect during conflict. https://scottbarrykaufman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Driver-and-Gottman-2004.pdf Scott Barry Kaufman Ginapp, C. M., et al. (2023). The experiences of adults with ADHD in interpersonal relationships. NIH/PMC. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10399076/ PMC Lewicki, R. J., Polin, B., & Lount, R. (2016). An Exploration of the Structure of Effective Apologies. Negotiation and Conflict Management Research. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/ncmr.12073 Wiley Online Library Milton, D. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: the ‘double empathy problem’. Disability & Society. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09687599.2012.710008 Taylor & Francis Online Ohio State University News (2016). The 6 elements of an effective apology. https://news.osu.edu/the-6-elements-of-an-effective-apology-according-to-science/ news.osu.edu Wymbs, B. T. (2021). Adult ADHD and romantic relationships: What we know and need to know. PubMed. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33421168/ PubMed Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Quick Guide - Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Tip: Want more resources? 📖 Read our Article on Neurodiverse Couples Counseling for an overview of challenges, therapy approaches, and more. 📖 Visit our Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) Page if you have a specific question about our services you'd like an answer to. KEY FACTS The “Neurodiversity Magnet” : Many autistic and neurotypical partners feel an immediate and powerful attraction towards each other and their differences . Autistic partners are often admired for their focus, intelligence, and stability, while neurotypical partners are valued for their social skills and support. This can feel like being “pulled together like magnets.” When Differences Become Challenges : Over time, those same differences can cause misunderstandings . Couples may feel like they are speaking “different languages,” leading to trust issues, arguments, distance, or struggles with parenting and intimacy. Yes, Empathy Is Possible : Some people wrongly believe that autistic partners cannot feel love or empathy. In reality, they do feel empathy—they just may show it in different ways ( Double Empathy Problem ). With the right tools, both partners can better understand and connect with each other. Therapy That Works : Research shows that couples who participate in solution-focused therapy show an increase in “solution talk” and positive reinforcement , which helps partners move away from blame and start expressing emotions more openly (McDowell et al., 2023). Change Takes Time, But It Happens : Autism is not a “fixed” condition. With patience and the right kind of therapy, many couples see progress and grow closer over time—leading to relationships that feel more relaxed, connected, and rewarding. ABOUT US With a team of over 30 therapists, we are the largest practice dedicated exclusively to supporting neurodiverse individuals and couples. Our Approach: We use a neurodiverse counseling model that is tailored to each couple. This model involves focusing on the challenges that often create distance—such as communication breakdowns, sensory sensitivities, and differences in social or executive functioning. Rather than turning these differences into blame or criticism, we help partners reframe them as opportunities to build empathy, strengthen teamwork, and create a more connected relationship. Our neurodiverse counseling model often integrates strengths-based, neuro-affirming strategies that emphasize safety, communication, and mutual understanding. We complete over 16,000 sessions a year , giving us a deep well of experience supporting neurodiverse couples and individuals on their journey toward connection and growth. Our Team: Our experts are deeply compassionate and dedicated to helping neurodiverse couples thrive. Three things set our team apart: Ongoing Specialized Training – Every therapist receives weekly training on neurodiversity-focused content, ensuring our approaches stay current and effective. Collaborative Case Support – We hold weekly case consultations and supervision so that no couple’s challenges are handled in isolation—your therapist has a full team behind them. Continuous Professional Growth – All team members pursue ongoing continuing education in neurodiverse relationships, keeping us at the forefront of best practices. Insurance — We are insurance-friendly. As an out-of-network provider, we will send you a Superbill for therapy services that you can submit to your insurance company for potential reimbursement. Please know that we do NOT bill insurance directly or participate as an in-network provider. For more information, please visit the "Insurance/Fee" section on our FAQ page. Diagnosis optional — You don’t need a diagnosis to participate. If you’re in California and want to explore an autism or ADHD diagnosis, our team can help. A quick note on crises — We’re not a crisis service. If you’re ever in immediate danger, call 911 . For urgent mental health support, call or text 988 . Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center is part of New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. WHO WE HELP We support neurodiverse couples nationwide through online therapy or coaching. We support couples who are navigating neurodiversity in any capacity. Some common issues include: Autism/ADHD differences Cassandra Syndrome Support Highly Sensitive People Parenting and co-parenting challenges Intimacy (both physical and emotional) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Recurring discussions about “tone,” initiative, alexithymia , or intimacy Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) LEARN MORE 📖 Read our Article on Neurodiverse Couples Counseling for an overview of challenges, therapy approaches, and more. 📖 Visit our Neurodiverse Couples Counseling FAQ for practical details about our services. Last reviewed: Aug 26, 2025 • Authors: Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT (Clinical Director) and Jasmyne Mena (Director of Clinical Research & Scientific Communications) GETTING STARTED We would love to create a safe place for you to break the painful patterns of the past and communicate in a new way. Please fill out our contact form and we will be glad to connect you with one of our team members. 10 secrets of happy neurodiverse couples… . (2024, September 4). BPS; The British Psychological Society. https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/10-secrets-happy-neurodiverse-couples Calderoni, S., Billeci, L., Narzisi, A., Brambilla, P., Retico, A., & Muratori, F. (2016). Rehabilitative Interventions and Brain Plasticity in Autism Spectrum Disorders: Focus on MRI-Based Studies. Frontiers in Neuroscience , 10 . https://doi.org/10.3389/fnins.2016.00139 McDowell, C. N., Bryant, M. E., & Parker, M. L. (2023). Decoding Neurodiverse Couples Therapy: A Solution-Focused Approach. Sexuality & Disability , 41 (2), 255–273. https://doi-org.libproxy.csudh.edu/10.1007/s11195-022-09765-9 Milton, D., Waldock, K. E., & Keates, N. (2023). Autism and the ‘double empathy problem.’ In F. Mezzenzana & D. Peluso (Eds.), Conversations on empathy: Interdisciplinary perspectives on imagination and radical othering (pp. 78–97). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781003189978-6 Mitchell, P., Sheppard, E., & Cassidy, S. (2021). Autism and the double empathy problem: Implications for development and mental health. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 39(1), 1–18. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjdp.12350 Taylor, E. C., Livingston, L. A., Clutterbuck, R. A., Callan, M. J., & Shah, P. (2023). Psychological strengths and well-being: Strengths use predicts quality of life, well-being and mental health in autism. Autism : the international journal of research and practice , 27 (6), 1826–1839. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613221146440 Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

What is AuDHD? You’ve probably heard of autism . You’ve likely heard of ADHD . But what happens when you live with both—at the same time? That’s AuDHD , a combination of Autism and ADHD. It’s more common than most people realize, and it can feel like your brain is constantly flipping between two operating systems—each with its own needs, quirks, and frustrations. ➤ Maybe you love routine… but you can’t stick to one. ➤ Maybe your brain hyper-focuses for hours… but also forgets to eat lunch. ➤ Maybe one day you crave social interaction, and the next, you want to hide from the world. If this sounds familiar, you might be AuDHD—and you’re definitely not alone. Think you might be AuDHD? Let's chat now! How AuDHD Shows Up in Daily Life Living with both ADHD and autism can feel like a push-pull between competing needs. Here are a few ways this might look in real life: You crave structure (autistic trait) but struggle to follow routines (ADHD trait) You hyperfocus on creative ideas but forget deadlines or appointments You want to socialize like an ADHD brain… but the sensory overwhelm of autism kicks in You’re masking constantly—managing both autistic traits and ADHD impulsivity Want someone who actually gets this? Schedule a free consultation with a neurodiverse-affirming therapist. Is AuDHD a real term? AuDHD isn’t an official diagnosis in the DSM—but it’s a real experience for many people. It describes someone who meets criteria for both Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) . Both are neurodevelopmental conditions. Both can affect how you think, socialize, feel emotions, and process the world. And when they overlap, it creates a very specific experience that deserves tailored understanding. ADHD vs Autism: What’s the Difference? While there’s overlap, the core traits of autism and ADHD come from different places: Autism Traits ADHD Traits Difficulty with social communication Difficulty with attention/focus Repetitive behaviors & routines Impulsivity and hyperactivity Deep, specific interests Easily bored, jumps between ideas They can look similar on the outside—but the reason behind the behavior often differs. Examples: Trouble with friendships? ➤ Could be autistic social fatigue or ADHD impulsivity. Struggling to focus? ➤ Could be autistic deep-focus on a special interest or ADHD distractibility. Sensory issues? ➤ Both can have them—but the triggers and intensity vary. Need a clear answer? We offer evaluations that consider both autism and ADHD. How Common Is AuDHD? Research shows that: 30% to 80% of autistic individuals also show signs of ADHD 20% to 50% of those with ADHD may also have autistic traits Scientists believe both may share genetic and neurological roots—affecting brain areas tied to social connection, attention, and emotional regulation. Translation: You're not imagining it. You're not broken. You're wired differently—and that matters. Curious where you fall? Schedule a call with our Care Coordinator. Whole-Person Support for AuDHD Adults and Couples Living and loving with both autism and ADHD isn’t a “flaw” to be corrected—it’s a wiring difference that shapes everything from morning routines to midnight heart-to-hearts. We meet you (and, if you choose, your partner) right there, offering care that’s practical, trauma-informed, and relationship-centered. Important: We don’t believe in "fixing" you to be neurotypical. Therapy should help you function in the world—without losing who you are. ➤ Healing Old Hurts Many AuDHD adults carry scars from being misunderstood or pressured to “act normal.” We use gentle, body-based and talk-therapy methods to calm the nervous system, release stuck memories, and rebuild self-worth—without asking you to change who you are. ➤ Strengthening Your Connection AuDHD dynamics spark both creativity and friction. We guide couples to: read each other’s signals (hyper-focus vs. distraction, sensory highs & lows) blend comfort needs with closeness turn misfires into teamwork create rituals that protect connection—even on chaotic days Partners can also work one-on-one to polish their side of the dance. ➤ Social Skills Support Thriving at Work and Home Missed emails, forgotten laundry, buzzing ideas that never land—sound familiar? We blend practical planning, workplace advocacy, and gentle accountability so your brilliance shines without nonstop masking. ➤ Social Skills Support New Tools That Stick From emotion-regulation drills to values-based goal setting and mindful-movement breaks, we customize skills practice to fit your wiring—no alphabet-soup jargon required. ➤ Medication (When Appropriate) When focus boosters or calming supports might help, we team up with your prescriber to fine-tune a plan that respects your goals and your neurology. Note: We don’t prescribe, but we can coordinate with your provider. Looking for a treatment plan that actually fits? Let’s build it together. You Might Be AuDHD If… ( A mini self-checklist ) ➤ You love structure, but forget what day it is ➤ You hyper-fixate and procrastinate—sometimes at the same time ➤ You bounce between social butterfly and hermit mode ➤ You’ve spent years masking—and you're exhausted ➤ You’ve been told you're “too much” and also “not enough” Check off a few? That’s reason enough to reach out. Let’s talk. You Deserve to Be Understood If you’ve been misdiagnosed, misunderstood, or told to “just try harder,” you’re not alone. Living with AuDHD can feel overwhelming—but it’s also an opportunity to understand yourself in a deeper, more compassionate way. Get matched with a therapist who gets AuDHD. Start with a screener → Share Your Info → Free consult → Personalized support You’re not too much. You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re just wired differently—and you deserve care that honors that. Ready to Get Started? Click Here! Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

OCD & Autism EXPLORING THE OVERLAP OF NEURODIVERGENT EXPERIENCES Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) often intersects with neurodivergent conditions such as Autism and ADHD, creating a complex web of intertwined experiences. Recognizing and understanding these intersections is crucial for providing tailored support that meets your needs. Research indicates that a significant number of Autistic individuals, up to 37%, also grapple with OCD . The manifestation of OCD in Autistic individuals varies widely, necessitating a nuanced approach to diagnosis and treatment. The intersection of OCD and Autism presents challenges affecting daily life, impacting sensory experiences, routines, and social interactions. WHAT IS OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER? OCD is characterized by persistent, distressing thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive actions (compulsions) aimed at alleviating the anxiety associated with these thoughts. Compulsions, ranging from visible rituals to internal mental processes, serve as temporary solutions but can intensify anxiety in the long run. Treatment typically involves therapy, such as exposure and response prevention (ERP), and, in some cases, medication. OCD & ADHD: The co-occurrence of OCD and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is not uncommon, with research suggesting prevalence rates from 8% to 30% . Shared genetic and neurobiological factors , coupled with challenges in executive functioning, contribute to the complex interaction between OCD and ADHD. Navigating life with both conditions presents a unique puzzle, where ADHD can influence how OCD manifests, and OCD can exacerbate ADHD-related cognitive control difficulties. IMPORTANT DIFFERENCES Distinguishing between ADHD, Autism, and OCD is crucial for providing accurate support. Compulsions vs. Autistic Rituals vs. ADHD Compensation. Understanding compulsions, a core aspect of OCD, is key. Compulsions i n OCD are anxiety-driven actions aimed at mitigating obsessive fears and/or unwanted thoughts. Help strategy: Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), is often considered the most effective psychological treatment for OCD. ERP involves exposing individuals to situations that trigger their obsessions while preventing the accompanying compulsive response. Over time, this helps to break the cycle of anxiety and compulsive behaviors. Autistic rituals arise from a desire for predictability, sensory sensitivities and self-soothing. These behaviors usually help autistics self-regulate and are NOT related to unwanted thoughts. Disruption of the ritual causes anxiety but the ritual was created as a result of anxiety. Help strategy: The goal when working with autistic rituals is to explore ways of building the rituals into one's life in the best way possible. Our therapists can help you walk through your daily schedule to consider which rituals are functioning and which are not. We will also help you clearly communicate your needs relating to rituals to others. ADHD compensation strategies are used to address difficulties in executive functioning. This could include struggles with recall, focus or organization. For example, repetitive checking that the garbage was taken out is a learned behavior tied to the many times the garbage was not taken out. Help strategy: Our approach to help focuses on establishing effective systems or routines to navigate the challenges posed by ADHD. BONUS QUESTION: IS OCD CONSIDERED NEURODIVERGENCE? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is often considered a form of neurodivergence, falling within the umbrella of conditions that deviate from the perceived norm in terms of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral functioning. Alongside conditions such as Autism, ADHD, and Dyslexia, OCD represents a unique facet of neurodiversity. THE PERMANENT VS. SITUATIONAL DEBATE The ongoing debate regarding whether OCD is a permanent aspect of one's neurology or a situational form of neurodivergence adds complexity to our understanding. Unlike some neurodivergent conditions perceived as lifelong traits, OCD exhibits a distinct characteristic – its responsiveness to treatment. Approximately 50% of individuals diagnosed with OCD may experience persistent symptoms, but these symptoms can fluctuate, intensifying during periods of increased anxiety. THE RESPONSIVE NATURE OF OCD The responsive nature of OCD to treatment challenges a rigid classification. This observation raises the question of whether OCD is an inherent neurotype or a condition that one might have at certain times and not at others. The answer varies among individuals, with some perceiving OCD as a lifelong aspect of their neurology, while others view it as a condition that can be managed or altered over time. NAVIGATING THE NUANCES: The nuanced nature of this debate highlights the importance of considering individual experiences within the broader framework of neurodiversity. While some aspects of neurodivergence are often considered inherent and enduring, the responsive nature of OCD to treatment suggests that, for some, OCD may be more situational, influenced by environmental factors and stressors. PERSONAL PERSPECTIVES ON OCD How individuals define their relationship with OCD is deeply personal. Some describe their experience as "having OCD," viewing it as a condition they manage and treat. Others see it as an integral part of their neurotype, shaping their identity and interactions with the world. Embracing this diversity in perspectives allows for a more comprehensive and empathetic understanding of how individuals navigate their unique journeys with conditions like OCD. EMPOWERING APPROACHES TO CHALLENGES The key lies in finding a way to frame the experience with authenticity, empowering individuals to approach challenges with understanding, gentleness, and hope. Embracing the diversity of perspectives underscores the multifaceted nature of OCD and the broader spectrum of neurodivergence. This approach fosters a deeper appreciation for the unique journeys individuals undertake in navigating conditions like OCD. NEXT STEPS Our first step in helping you is to clearly understanding what is driving your behavior. We will take an individualized approach to understand whether OCD, autism or ADHD (or a combination) are at play, and then work with you to develop a treatment plan. To take the next step, please fill out our contact form. Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel