Neurodiverse Couples Retreats WHAT IS A NEURODIVERSE COUPLES RETREAT? If you are in a neurodiverse relationship and feel like you need significant support, you're in the right place. Our Neurodiverse Couples Retreat offers private, personalized therapy sessions designed specifically with you and your partner in mind. This isn’t a group retreat – every aspect is tailored to address the unique dynamics of your relationship , ensuring you receive the focused attention and care you deserve. Whether you prefer remote sessions or an in-person experience , we provide a customized environment to help you reconnect and grow. Jumpstart Your Relationship Our retreats offer an opportunity to jumpstart your relationship in ways that weekly therapy often cannot. To maintain the progress you make, we also offer ongoing support after the retreat, helping you sustain and build upon your momentum. Our Team Our team consists of experts in neurodiverse relationships , trained to understand the nuances of autism, ADHD, and other neuro-differences. We recognize how these differences influence relationships and approach each couple with empathy and expertise. Unlike traditional therapists who may inadvertently try to fit neurodivergent partners into a neurotypical mold, we celebrate and work with the strengths of neurodiversity. Our specialists are skilled at getting to the heart of the matter quickly, providing insight and guidance that can transform your relationship. Flexible and Accessible We know you live a busy so, so we offer multiple retreat options to fit your schedule. Online couples therapy intensives are a powerful alternative to weekly sessions. A one-day retreat can serve as a valuable tune-up, while a three-day retreat can achieve the equivalent of three months of therapy in just a few focused days. If you’re ready to embrace a new path forward and rediscover the beauty in your neurodiverse partnership, we invite you to learn more and take the first step toward meaningful change. Click the link below to visit our dedicated site, Neurodiverse Couples Retreats , and explore everything our retreats have to offer! Visit Neurodiverse Couples Retreats Top 5 Frequently asked questions 1. Who are these retreats for? Our retreats are specially designed for Neurodiverse couples. You can read all about "neurodiversity" and our imperfect attempt at describing it at our parent site, the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center . We also welcome all types of relationships: married, partnered, engaged, or even just dating And all genders: female male non-binary And all combinations of the above! 2. Will other couples be involved? No. These are private therapy sessions, not small group retreats. 3. What happens at the retreat? Well, that depends on what your unique set of needs are but here is a SAMPLE healing schedule: ASSESSMENT AND PLANNING Review your background so we understand the challenges. We do this based on the intake forms you will complete before the retreat. Clarify your goals and build a healing and growth roadmap. Learn to identify and understand your differences with a focus of appreciating strengths and supporting areas where each of you struggle. NEURODIVERSE FUNDAMENTALS Communication across the neurodiversity divide Setting neurodiverse-sensitive boundaries Time together and apart Finding new ways for connection WORK ON PATTERNS Identify triggers from past wounds and learn new strategies to cope in a better way. Break old patterns that are based on misunderstanding your brain differences. Work to build new health patterns with a neurodiverse-aware approach. HEALING TRAUMA Identify emotional wounds that are rooted in: your current relationship and your childhood. Work on healing and forgiveness of wounds. APPLICATION TO EVERY DAY ISSUES Kids Work Money Sex Travel / Vacation In-laws Sleep POST-RETREAT PLANNING Build a support system in the relationship and for each person. Build a relationship vision that recognizes the strengths and challenges of your neurodiversity. Construct an on-going maintenance plan for after the retreat. Please know that: We NEVER cover all the topics listed above but jointly figure out what would be most helpful to you. Every therapist will have her own variation on the sample approach shown above. 4. When does the retreat occur? Since the retreats are for one couple at a time, we work to make it fit your schedule. 5. Why should we attend? Online couples therapy intensives are a compelling alternative to weekly couples therapy. For example: Our 1 day retreat can serve as a serious tune-up for your relationship, and. Our 3 day retreat is the equivalent to 3 months of therapy in just a few days. In a focused and concise way, our highly trained neurodiverse couples specialists get to the heart of the matter quickly and with great care. We utilize neurodiverse-sensitive methods to give you the best chance at understanding and healing what’s not working in your relationship. We Offer Virtual & In-person Retreats VIRTUAL: Join the retreat virtually from the comfort of your home. IN-PERSON: Or fly to California for a true retreat getaway. Ready to change your relationship and improve your overall quality of life? Visit Neurodiverse Couples Retreats Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Are you desperately hoping to work on your neurodiverse relationship but worried that traditional weekly therapy just won't be enough? With sessions spread over months, progress can feel glacial. And hope gets zapped between sessions. Also, whoever said that one hour a week is always the best formula for therapy? 🔄 The Retreat Relationship Reset What if you could spend 3 days (with lots of breaks!) where you could reset your relationship? Like rebooting your computer!? At our neurodiverse couples retreats, you can: Reset your profound misunderstandings of neurodiversity and each other Get some therapy momentum going Secure buy-in to a healing roadmap from both partners Build a foundation to rebuild your relationship in a new way 🚫 Overcoming Objections Attending a retreat is a big decision. We usually hear some strong objections that sound like: How can I fit this in my schedule? 🗓️ When you do the math, a marriage retreat, often over a weekend, may be easier to fit into your schedule than the total time and logistics involved with going to an equal number of hours of weekly therapy. 🎯 It’s a big commitment. Maybe too big! Research shows that more commitment usually leads to higher motivation and better results. Yes, it is a big commitment. But on the other hand, if you make the commitment, it can set you on a much better path. 🤔 This sounds way too intensive. I'm autistic! Will I be able to handle it? We use the words “couples retreat” and not “couples intensive” for a reason. We are flexible with our agenda and slow things down as much as necessary, with lots of check-ins and breaks to give you a chance to reset your nervous system. 📝 What will actually happen during the retreat? Good question! Check out this sample schedule . 🏠 We can't afford the travel plus the cost of therapy. Virtual Retreats: Many couples love attending via Zoom. You’re in the comfort of your home, with no travel costs, extra planning, or added expenses. You get the same personalized attention and specific tools for success as an in-person retreat. In-Person Retreats: If it works in your budget, our getaways allow couples to escape everyday life and focus solely on reconnecting. The change of scenery helps you disconnect from stress and dive deep into the retreat experience. It’s about resetting in a new environment, fostering deeper connections, and learning new relationship skills. I’m afraid we’ll invest all this time and then fizzle out. 🔥 You’ll have the tools and strategies from the retreat to empower you to develop skills for self-awareness, understanding, acceptance, and communication. We’ll give you an individualized action plan that meets the needs of your relationship. We also encourage you to book ongoing regular therapy sessions with your retreat therapist so you can continue your momentum! 🌟 Ready to Take the Next Step? Why wouldn't you want someone who really understands you?! Whether you choose a virtual or in-person retreat, the Neurodiverse Couples Retreat Center is here to support you. We're the only retreat designed for neurodiverse couples run by neurodiverse specialists. Visit www.neurodiverse-retreat.com to learn more and book your retreat today! With hop for your growth and connection, Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Do You Struggle to Recognize and Express Emotions? Want to see if your behavior is consistent with alexithymia? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take the Alexithymia Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Understand how we talk about neurodiversity from a strenght-based approach, without shame. Words Matter What is Normal? Acceptance > Normal Neurodiversity Social Model Identity-First Diverse vs Divergent Difference > Disorder Allistic vs. Neurotypical Asperger & Nazis Cassandra Syndrome Autism & Gender Disability Level of Function OUR WORDS MATTER Choosing our words carefully is crucial in the world of neurodiversity because language plays a significant role in shaping perceptions, attitudes, and inclusivity. Please consider the impact of words in the following realms: Respect and Dignity: Using respectful and inclusive language demonstrates a commitment to treating individuals with neurodivergent conditions with dignity. It helps avoid stigmatization and fosters a culture of understanding and acceptance. Avoiding Stigmatization: The way we talk about neurodivergent conditions can either challenge or reinforce societal stereotypes. Careless language can perpetuate stigma, stereotypes, and negative perceptions, contributing to a less inclusive environment. Empowerment and Positive Framing: Positive and empowering language can contribute to a more inclusive and supportive environment. Using words that focus on strengths, abilities, and individual talents helps empower neurodivergent individuals and promotes a strengths-based perspective. Building Understanding: Clear and precise language aids in building understanding among individuals who may not be familiar with neurodiversity . It helps to educate and raise awareness, fostering a more inclusive and informed community. Inclusive Communication: Thoughtful language choices contribute to creating an inclusive communication style. This is important in educational settings, workplaces, and social environments where neurodivergent individuals may be present. Legal and Policy Implications: In some cases, specific legal and policy frameworks may be in place to ensure the rights and accommodations for neurodivergent individuals. Using accurate and respectful language aligns with these frameworks and promotes compliance with legal standards. WHAT DOES THE WORD "NORMAL" MEAN? It is easy to get trapped in the idea that my spouse is not "normal" or my marriage is not "normal". But what is normal anyway? The illusory nature of normal is captured in the following quote: “I wonder if we recognize the irony of telling people to act normal , because to "act " is to perform a role that isn’t real. And I wonder if we truly understand what it does to a human being to tell them to pretend to be someone or something they are not, and how this demand requires people to repress, efface, and cover up who they really are.” ― Jonathan Mooney, Normal Sucks: How to Live, Learn, and Thrive, Outside the Lines FROM "NORMAL" TO ACCEPTANCE With the help of neurodiverse-sensitive therapy, most couples realize that "abnormality" is not the problem ; rather, the difficulty is rooted in trying to fit into their concept of what a "normal" couple should look like. This shift away from "normal" can free a couple from the shame that comes from the message that one or both of them is the problem. If we can reorient how we view diversity, abilities, and disabilities, each partner can begin to feel accepted for who they are; paradoxically, this acceptance makes room for real change. WHAT IS NEURODIVERSITY? Neurodiversity refers to the idea that the human brain can function in a wide range of different ways. These variations should be recognized and respected as a natural part of human diversity . The most common conditions people think of as neurodiversity are: autism (1-2% of the population), ADHD (4-5% of the population), and dyslexia (the most common type of neurodiversity). But it also can include: Tourette's, dyspraxia, synesthesia, dyscalculia, Down syndrome, epilepsy, traumatic brain injury, and chronic mental health illnesses such as bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, and depression. At some point, we recognize that all brains are different so rather than thinking one way is good and another bad, let's understand the differences and how to work with them. Social Model It's important to note that neurodiversity is not a medical model, but rather a social model that recognizes the diversity of human brains and how they function. This means that neurodiversity is not about "fixing" or "curing" people , but rather about creating inclusive and accommodating environments that support each person's unique strengths and abilities. Some of the key principles of neurodiversity include: Rather than viewing autism and other disorders as unfortunate errors or to be corrected, we should consider these conditions as treasured parts of the genetic legacy of humanity, We work to recognize the value and contributions of neurodivergent individuals to the development of culture, society and technology, Different individuals may have different experiences and needs, There is no one-size-fits-all approach to supporting neurodiversity, We have the opportunity to challenge negative stereotypes and discrimination, and We can set a goal of creating inclusive and accessible environments for all. OUR TERMINOLOGY Identity-first versus Person-first language Since 1994, the psychology profession has used the term "Asperger's Syndrome" (AS) to describe a specific group of people with neurological differences that impact social interactions, how the world is experienced, and verbal and nonverbal communication. See below for background on Asperger / Nazi controversy. In 2013, the diagnostic criteria changed and AS became part of a high-functioning autism (Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD ). Our therapists and coaches use identity-first language rather than person-first language . To illustrate: Identity-first language : Refers to our neurodiverse clients as Autism Spectrum (AS) partner, autistic partner, or Aspie (based on former Asperger's terminology). PRO: Suggests that autism is a core part of a person's identity (like being a Canadian) with all the strengths and weaknesses that come with that identity and implies that you are OK with having autism as the core of who you are. This is a clearer path to a more positive and realistic identity for many. CON: Some people don't like to be defined this way. Quote: Autism isn't something a person has, or a shell that a person is trapped inside. There's no normal child hidden behind the autism. Autism is a way of being. It is pervasive; it colors every experience, every sensation, perception, thought, emotion and encounter - every aspect of existence. It is not possible to separate the autism from the person – and if it were possible, the person you'd have left would not be the same person you started with. Jim Sinclair Person-first language : Refers to clients as the partner with autism or the spouse on the spectrum. PRO: You are not only your autistic symptoms. Autism is a modifier; it is not what defines you. CON: The assumption usually is that one's autism is a burden that gets tacked onto a person (like a person who is saddled with a disease). This ignores the many strengths of being on the spectrum. Although our team usually uses identity-first language, we understand the different reasons for both approaches and will accommodate whichever you are most comfortable with. Neurodiverse versus Neurodivergent Often, the word 'neurodiverse' is used interchangeably with 'neurodivergent '. However, if considered carefully, an individual person technically is not neurodiverse. The term 'diverse' means 'varied,' so while a group of people with different neurotypes can be considered neurodiverse, an individual is either neurotypical or neurodivergent. Since a couple is made up of two people, the term neurodiverse is a better fit. Autism Spectrum Difference > Disorder Although the psychology profession (and we used it above) uses the term "Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)," we much prefer "Autism Spectrum DIFFERENCE." Considering all the strengths and weaknesses, our clients are no more "disordered" than others. In other words, there is no 'normal'; rather, there are different neurotypes, some more prevalent/common than others. Allistic vs. Neurotypical "Allistic" and "neurotypical" are terms used in the autistic community to describe people not on the autism spectrum. While the terms are often used interchangeably, they can have slightly different connotations. The term "neurotypical" : is used to describe individuals who have typical neurological development and functioning, meaning they do not have any conditions or disorders that affect their neurological development or processing. is often used in contrast to "neurodivergent," which refers to individuals with atypical neurological development or functioning, such as autism, ADHD, or dyslexia. The term "allistic" is: a way to refer to individuals who do not have autism . It is important to recognize that many people without autism may still have other conditions that affect their neurological development or functioning, such as ADHD, dyslexia, or anxiety disorders. So, while "allistic" refers specifically to individuals without autism, it does not necessarily mean they do not have any other neurodivergent traits or experiences. is used to acknowledge the difference between autistic and non-autistic individuals , without pathologizing or stigmatizing either group. Nazi Controversy Surrounding Hans Asperger Hans Asperger was an Austrian pediatrician and medical researcher widely known for his work on autism spectrum disorder. However, there has been controversy regarding Asperger's involvement with the Nazi regime during World War II. Asperger was a member of the Nazi Party and worked in Vienna during the 1930s and 1940s, a time when eugenics was a prevalent ideology in Europe. Asperger is said to have collaborated with the Nazi regime by referring children with disabilities to the Am Spiegelgrund clini c, a facility that conducted forced euthanasia on children deemed "unworthy of life" under the Nazi euthanasia program. In 2018, a study by historian Herwig Czech revealed evidence that Asperger actively participated in the Nazi regime's euthanasia program and was involved in transferring disabled children to the Spiegelgrund clinic. Czech's findings contradict Asperger's previous reputation as a defender of autistic children during the Nazi era. The controversy surrounding Asperger's involvement with the Nazi regime has sparked a debate among scholars and professionals specializing in autism spectrum disorder. Some argue that Asperger's work on autism should be judged solely on its scientific merit. In contrast, others contend that his collaboration with the Nazi regime is inseparable from his scientific contributions. Given the controversy, we avoid the use of Asperger's but respect a clients' wishes if they prefer that term. Cassandra Syndrome The concept of the Cassandra syndrome in psychology can be relevant to partners of individuals with autism, particularly if the partner repeatedly expresses concerns or predictions about negative outcomes related to their partner's condition but feels ignored or dismissed by others. Partners of individuals with autism may have unique insights and experiences related to their loved one's behavior and may notice patterns or potential issues that others may not recognize. However, they may also encounter a lack of understanding or support from others who are not as familiar with the condition or who may have different perspectives. This can create a sense of frustration and isolation for partners, who may feel like they are not being heard or validated. They may also struggle with balancing their needs and concerns with those of their partner, which can create a sense of cognitive dissonance or conflicting emotions. While the Cassandra syndrome is not an official diagnosis or recognized psychological term, feeling unheard or dismissed despite having valid concerns can be a deeply challenging experience for partners of individuals with autism. It's important for partners to seek support and understanding from others who can relate to their experiences and to communicate their concerns in a way that can be heard and understood by others. You can get this kind of support at Believing Cassandra : www.believing-cassandra.com Autism and Gender The prevalence of individuals with autism who identify as LGBTQIA+ is not well established due to limited research on this topic. Some studies suggest that individuals with autism may be more likely to identify as LGBTQIA+ than the general population, while others do not show a significant difference. For example, a study published in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders in 2020 found that autistic individuals were more likely to identify as non-heterosexual compared to non-autistic individuals. Specifically, 16.1% of autistic individuals in the study identified as non-heterosexual, compared to 5.9% of non-autistic individuals. Furthermore, a study published in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders in 2017 found that there was no significant difference in the sexual orientation or gender identity of autistic and non-autistic individuals. Another study published in the journal Autism in 2016 found that autistic individuals were more likely to identify as a sexual minority than non-autistic individuals. Specifically, the study found that 8.6% of autistic individuals identified as a sexual minority, compared to 5.5% of non-autistic individuals. It is important to note that the samples in these studies were relatively small and may not be representative of the broader population. Additionally, sexual orientation and gender identity are complex and personal topics that may not be fully captured by survey questions. Therefore, further research is needed to better understand the relationship between autism and LGBTQIA+ identities. Please know that our team is fully committed to providing an affirmative space for people who identify as LGBTQIA+ Disability The term "disabled" can have different meanings and connotations, depending on the context and the perspective from which it is used. In general, the term refers to a condition or impairment that limits a person's ability to perform certain activities or participate in certain aspects of society. Whether or not to use the term "disabled" to describe autistic people is a matter of personal preference and perspective. Pro: Some autistic individuals prefer to identify as disabled, as they believe it accurately reflects the challenges they face and the accommodations they may need . Con: Others believe the word disabled over-emphasizes deficits over strengths and may prefer to use other terms, such as "neurodivergent" or "differently abled," which emphasize their unique abilities and strengths. Ultimately, it is important to respect individuals' preferences and use language that they feel accurately reflects their experiences and identity. High & Low Functioning The terms "high functioning autism" and "low functioning autism" are often used to describe individuals on the autism spectrum who are perceived to have more or less significant challenges or abilities, especially in terms of intellectual capability, language skills, and the ability to independently perform daily activities. However, the use of these terms is increasingly considered problematic and ableist for several reasons: 1. Over-Simplification: Autism is a highly complex and heterogeneous condition, with individuals exhibiting a wide range of strengths, challenges, and needs. The terms "high functioning" and "low functioning" oversimplify this complexity and reduce an individual's entire experience and identity to a binary categorization based on perceived abilities. 2. Misleading Representations: The label "high functioning" can mask the significant challenges and support needs that an individual may have. It can lead to underestimating the difficulties they face, including sensory sensitivities, social and communication challenges, and mental health issues. Conversely, labeling someone as "low functioning" can underestimate their capabilities and potential, leading to low expectations and limited opportunities for growth and participation in society. 3. Ableism: Ableism is discrimination or social prejudice against people with disabilities, favoring individuals who are not disabled. Using terms like "high" and "low functioning" contributes to ableist narratives by implying a hierarchy of worth or value based on perceived productivity or independence. It reinforces the idea that certain abilities are more valuable or desirable than others and that people who require more support are somehow less than those who are more independent. 4. Impact on Identity and Self-Esteem: These labels can have a profound impact on how individuals see themselves and how they are perceived by others. Being labeled as "low functioning" can lead to stigma, discrimination, and internalized ableism, whereas being labeled as "high functioning" can lead to unrealistic expectations and pressure to conform to neurotypical standards. 5. Shift Towards Spectrum Understanding: The autism community and many professionals advocate for moving away from functioning labels towards a more nuanced understanding of autism as a spectrum, where each individual's strengths and challenges are recognized and supported. The emphasis is on understanding each person's unique profile, including their needs, preferences, and abilities, rather than categorizing them into broad and often misleading categories. The conversation around autism and functioning labels reflects a broader shift towards a more inclusive and respectful approach to neurodiversity, emphasizing the importance of respecting each individual's autonomy, strengths, and challenges, rather than applying labels that can limit understanding and support. What is Normal? Acceptance > Normal Neurodiversity Identity-First Difference > Disorder Diverse vs Divergent Allistic vs. Neurotypical Social Model Asperger & Nazis Cassandra Syndrome Autism & Gender Disability Level of Function

Meet our Team of Neurodiverse Couples Counselors for help with Autism & ADHD and your Relationship Meet Our Team All Team Members are Neurodiverse Couples Specialists. To find their ADDITIONAL specialty areas, select one of the buttons below. Therapist Finder All Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Accepting New Individual Clients Only Not Accepting New Clients ACT ADHD ASD/Allistic Couples Addiction Assessment Attachment AuDHD Autism Betrayal Recovery Betrayal/Affair Recovery Blended Families Brainspotting Buddist - Spiritual CBT Cancer & Autism Cassandra Syndrome Support Christian Communication Couples Retreats/Intensives DBT Discernment Divorce EFT Eating & Autism Emotion Focused Therapy Emotional Intimacy Emotional Regulation Emotionally Focused Therapy Family Conflict General Couples Coaching Highly Sensitive People (HSP) IFS Integrative Spiritual Therapy Internal Family Systems Intimate Partner Violence Kink/Poly-Affirmed LGBTQIA+ Life Transitions Multicultural Challenges Muslim background ND at Work Neurodiverse Couples Ongoing Relationship Trauma PDA Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse) Sex/Physical Intimacy Somatic Therapies Teens Transformational Coaching Trauma Trauma Bonds Trauma-Informed Kimberly Hawks Jamison Haase Jenny Pan Heather Emerson-Young Daniel Chung Jory Wilson Stephen Robertson Leila Pirnia Lisa Marie Anzaldua Danielle Grossman Alyssa Bayus Rachel Wheeler Maring Higa Cassie Clayton Nancy Rushing Colleen Kahn Harry Motro Blaze Lazarony Amanda Silvester Jen Terrell Shea Davis Lea Choi Malori Evans Tamala Takahashi Adela Stone Liz McClanahan Joseph Kaiser Robin Greenblat More about the TEAM... We're a group of dedicated therapists and coaches who have come together to: treat the neurodiverse community with respect, develop a robust set of tools to help neurodiverse couples, approach neurodiverse healing from a strength-based approach , understand that the trauma of past misunderstanding needs to be healed in a gentle way, share best-practices for neurodiverse therapy amongst the team so we can offer you a beneficial experience, and offer integrated therapy where both the couple and each partner can each have their own counselor ; yet, the therapy is synchronized to achieve compatible goals. Please complete the contact form to be matched with a neurodiverse therapist or coach.

We are a group of therapists and coaches DEDICATED to supporting neurodiverse couples. Serving neurodiverse couples. Building bridges for autistic partner and neurotypical spouse. The World's Largest Neuro-Informed therapy service. 100% Online. 8e74e1_540038cb57aa4ae3843a4c6f04f414c7~mv2_edited Inna Kuchmenko (1)-newgall Danielle Grossman_edited Nancy Rushing copy )-newgall2 Lea Choi_edited_edited IMG_0408_edited Tamala Takahashi Help us match you to the right therapist Get Matched Now Sign up to receive weekly tips, tools and cutting edge info Submit Got it. Look for your newsletter soon! Take an Autism or ADHD Test Schedule a Free Consult Now For Couples Couples Communication Sex Parenting Retreats Discernment For Individuals Autistic Men Autistic Women ADHD Women AuDHD Cassandra Highly Sensitive People (HSP) Twice Exceptional Children

Therapy for Parents of Neurodiverse children. Helping exceptional parents with exceptional kids! NEURODIVERSE PARENTING < Back HELPING YOUR CHILD THRIVE Most parents are willing to sacrifice almost anything to see your child happy, independent, and productive. We see parents bend over backwards to support their children. If you are using the wrong approach for them or if mom and dad are not on the same page, everyone in the family can quickly become exhausted and discouraged. You may even start to wonder if you are doing something wrong and making things more difficult. No matter how much you are putting into advocating for and supporting your child, it rarely feels like it is enough. Difficult social situations for your child break your heart. The frustrations spread… Show More

Imagine this: Your partner spends hours reorganizing the kitchen because everything must be "just so." Meanwhile, you’re left wondering why it matters whether the cups go left or right of the plates. Or maybe you’re the one rewriting a text message ten times, terrified of making a "mistake." Your partner doesn’t get why it’s such a big deal. These little moments add up, don’t they? In a neurodiverse relationship, perfectionism isn’t just about getting things right. It’s about control, connection, and sometimes even survival . But when perfectionism takes over, it can harm the very bond you’re trying to protect. Let’s explore why perfectionism feels so personal—and how you can navigate it together. 🔬 The Science Behind Perfectionism Perfectionism isn’t just a personality quirk—it’s deeply rooted in the way neurodiverse brains work. Research shows that perfectionism is more common and intense in autistic individuals due to: Black-and-White Thinking: Autistic individuals often see things as right or wrong , fueling perfectionism. Attention to Detail: "Good enough" can feel like failure when focus zooms in on the small stuff. Masking: The pressure to "fit in" socially can drive a need to appear perfect. For the autistic partner , perfectionism is often about managing anxiety, creating safety, or avoiding misunderstandings. For the allistic partner , this might come across as rigidity or overthinking. These traits, while challenging, also highlight incredible potential for growth. By understanding perfectionism as a protective mechanism rather than a flaw, couples can reframe it as a path to deeper connection. 🔍 Screening Tests for Perfectionism If you’re curious about how perfectionism operates in your relationship, we have some screening tools that can help: Clinical Perfectionism Questionnaire (CPQ) : Identifies perfectionistic thinking patterns and behaviors that impact well-being. Frost Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale (FMPS) : Dives into areas like concern over mistakes, personal standards, and organization. These tools are often used in therapy to uncover how perfectionism influences relationships and individual mental health. Access the CPQ here and explore the FMPS here. Click Here to Schedule! 🌿 A Couples Exercise: Reframing Perfectionism Together Want to tackle perfectionism as a team? Try the Perfectionism Exercise below which is tailored to neurodiverse couples. Remember, BOTH partners can have perfectionist tendencies so be sure to consider yourself and your partner during the exercise. Spot the Pattern : List two situations where you felt your partner’s perfectionism showed up in your lives. Then list two situations where your perfectionism showed up. Spot the Pattern Continued: Identify two situations where perfectionism helped you feel safe, understood, or in control. It may be the same as item 1. Reflect Together: Share why those moments felt important to you. Reframe the Motivation: Discuss how perfectionism might have been trying to help—whether it’s about safety, connection, or validation. Consider Sensory Triggers (Autistic Partner): Are certain sounds, sights, or disruptions driving perfectionistic tendencies? Share these with your partner. Acknowledge Emotional Costs (Allistic Partner): Reflect on how the perfectionism impacts your energy or emotional connection. Role-Play for Empathy: Take turns explaining why a specific action mattered. Then swap roles to understand each other’s perspective more deeply. Create a Shared Plan: Decide on one small, actionable shift for each partner to support each other’s needs while reducing tension. By breaking perfectionism down and working through it step-by-step, you can transform it from a challenge into a way to strengthen your bond. 🙏 Quick Note Perfectionism isn’t about being perfect—it’s about seeking safety, validation, or connection. When couples understand these roots, they can reframe perfectionism as a strength rather than a weakness. Ready to take the next step? Click here to schedule a session with us. Warmly, Harry Motro Clinical Director 🔦 Spotlight on Daniel Chung Specialties and Certifications Neurodiverse Couples General Couples Therapy Depression and Anxiety Discernment Anger Management Christian Couples Counseling Affair Recovery Parenting Grief Life Experience Joyfully married for 20 years , with a relationship that's grown stronger through dedication and mutual support, and a proud father to my young adult daughter. Over 25 years of work in non-profit organization s including urban youth, churches, and schools . Adjunct graduate school professor teaching courses on the integration of psychology and spirituality. Earlier career in the hospitality and semiconductor industries . Education in psychology, theology, and spirituality at the Master & Doctoral levels Contact Dan Today! Did you miss the last Blog? Click Here to Read Now! Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Cassie Clayton, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Cassie Screening Tests for Perfectionism : Clinical Perfectionism Questionnaire Frost Multidimensional Questionnaire Think You May be Have ADHD? The Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST) may be used to identify adults who may have undiagnosed ADHD Take the SAAST Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Support for male partners on the spectrum who want to work on their relationships and stay true to themselves. AUTISTIC MEN < Back FROM SHAME TO ACCEPTANCE “Normal is an ideal. But it’s not reality.Reality is brutal, it’s beautiful, it’s every shade between black and white, and it’s magical. Yes, magical. Because every now and then, it turns nothing into something.” ― Tara Kelly, Harmonic Feedback FIRST PRIORITY Our first priority is to be able to see the beauty of our differences . This journey may require rethinking a life of experiencing negative messages from society. This rethinking process must operate in the background of all the more tactical work that is done as it is critical to be able to show up in a way that is less defensive and more whole. SECOND PRIORITY Once this primary… Show More

Neurodiverse couples therapy just got a major upgrade. We’ve fused the warmth and wisdom of expert human therapists with the precision of smart AI technology. The result? Unmatched clarity. Deeper understanding. Real connection. Think of it as your therapist, supercharged. They get the insights needed to help you finally bridge the gap and truly see each other. How AI-Assisted Therapy Can Work for You Our secure, confidential AI tools work in the background to support your therapist and empower your growth. Here’s how: 1. Capturing Every Detail, Accurately Have you ever left a session and wished you could remember a key moment perfectly? Our system creates a precise transcript of your sessions. This allows your therapist to review the exact words used, ensuring no important nuance is lost and that both perspectives are fully honored. 2. Uncovering Deeper Insights & Patterns Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs come from seeing the connections you didn't know were there. Our AI helps your therapist identify recurring themes, communication patterns, and hidden dynamics that emerge over time. This helps you both move past the surface-level issue and address the core patterns underneath. 3. Tools and Exercises Tailored Just for You Forget generic worksheets. Based on the specific themes of your session, our system helps your therapist create personalized homework, reflection prompts, and skill-building exercises . These are tools designed for your unique dynamic, helping you apply what you learn in therapy to your daily life. 4. Empowering Your Growth Between Sessions For those who enjoy exploring on their own, we can provide you with expertly crafted prompts to use with your own personal AI tools (like ChatGPT). This is a completely optional way for you to continue reflecting and discovering insights on your own terms, in a way that feels comfortable to you. Your Therapist is Always the Pilot Let's be clear: You are not in therapy with a robot. You are in therapy with a skilled, compassionate human who is an expert in neurodiverse relationships. The AI is simply a powerful co-pilot, handling data and spotting patterns so your therapist can focus entirely on what matters most: you, your partner, and your connection. Your therapist makes all clinical decisions. Empathy, trust, and human connection remain the heart of our practice. The AI provides data; your therapist provides the wisdom. Yo ur Privacy is Our #1 Priority We know that therapy is a private space, and sharing your story requires trust. Protecting your confidentiality is a responsibility we take very seriously. A Private, Enterprise-Grade AI: The AI we use is a secure, enterprise version of the technology, which is completely separate from public models like the free version of Gemini or ChatGPT. Your data is never used to train these public models. It all happens within our private, locked-down system. Protected Within Our Practice: Your session information is managed with the highest level of professional confidentiality. It remains securely within our practice's private system and is only accessed by our authorized clinical team for the purpose of supporting your care and ensuring you receive the best possible service. A Note on Public AI: If you choose to use the prompts we provide with your own personal AI tools, please know that those public platforms are not confidential. We will guide you on how to use them safely, and we always advise against sharing sensitive, identifying details on any public service. Is AI-Assisted Therapy Right for Us? This enhanced approach can be incredibly powerful if you: Often feel like you and your partner are speaking different languages. Want to move beyond recurring arguments and understand the root cause. Appreciate data-driven insights and a clear view of your progress. Are looking for practical, personalized tools to use between sessions. Value a therapeutic approach that is as unique as your relationship. An Innovative Option: Your Choice & Comfort This service is completely optional. We understand that this approach is new, and your comfort is our priority. If you prefer traditional therapy without these tools, we fully support and respect that choice. AI-assisted therapy is a specialized service currently offered by select therapists in our practice who have received specific training. If you are interested in exploring this option, please be sure to mention it when you schedule your consultation so we can match you with the right therapist. Ready to Discover a New Way to Connect? Experience the clarity that comes when human expertise and smart technology work together for you. Reach out today to learn more. [Schedule Your Free Consultation Today] Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Your therapist or coach will be able to walk you through the benefits of Trauma-Informed Neurodiverse Couples Therapy and help you decide whether or not this approach would be a good fit for you. TRAUMA-INFORMED NEURODIVERSE COUPLES THERAPY < Back When one or both partners have been traumatized by relationship patterns that are rooted in their neuro-differences, the partners must overcome two distinct challenges: Heal the trauma, and Understand and build bridges across the neurological differences. Unfortunately, most approaches to Neurodiverse couples counseling do not adequately address the trauma. As a result, couples get stuck in trauma-fed reactive behaviors that keep them stuck. The diagram here explains Trauma-Informed Neurodiverse Couples Therapy as the path to lasting healing. Your therapist or coach will walk you step-by-step through the healing process. Show More

The Night We Shattered Listen to my client's story (heavily modified to maintain confidentiality) My wife and I, sprawled on the living room floor, surrounded by the wreckage of a dinner gone wrong. The chicken burned, smoke curling up like a bad omen, while the autism-driven need for routine in me clashed with her frantic improvisation. We’d been fighting—sharp words slicing deeper than we meant—over who forgot to set the timer. Tears streaked her face; my jaw clenched so tight I thought it’d crack. Suffering hung heavy, a third guest at our ruined table. But then she reached for my hand, her fingers trembling, and whispered, “We’re still here.” I exhaled, the tension splintering, and we laughed—raw, messy, real. That night didn’t fix this couple, but it proved suffering isn’t the enemy; it’s the fire we walk through together. 🌟 Suffering: The Uninvited Teacher Suffering barges into every life—no RSVP required. It’s not a glitch; it’s the pulse of being human. We learn the most when the ground shakes beneath us—grit sharpens in the scrape of hard moments. For couples, though, there’s a sneaky script whispering that love should be painless, effortless, a rom-com without the third act twist. But here’s the kicker: suffering isn’t a sign you’ve failed. It’s the raw material of growth. And for neurodiverse couples—say, one autistic partner, one not—it can feel like the volume’s cranked up, amplifying the sting of difference. 🌈 Why Neurodiverse Couples Feel the Burn 🌀 The Myth of “Shouldn’t Be This Hard” Neurodiverse couples wrestle with a double-edged lie: suffering means something’s broken, and their differences make it worse. An autistic partner might crave predictability while the other thrives on spontaneity—cue the friction. They think, “If we were more alike, this wouldn’t hurt so much.” Spoiler : suffering doesn’t care about brain wiring—it’s an equal-opportunity sculptor. 🌪️ Difference Amplifies the Echo When missteps hit—like a missed social cue or a meltdown over plans gone sideways—the gap in how you process the world can feel like a canyon. It’s not pathology; it’s just difference doing its dance. But that dance can trick you into believing you’re suffering because of autism or neurotypicality, not because life is a wild, messy ride. Start Strengthening Your Relationship 💡 Suffering as a Forge, Not a Fracture Poet Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote, “Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage.” Suffering’s the dragon—and how you face it defines you. For couples, it’s not about dodging the flames but linking arms to meet them. It reveals your core: Strip away the easy days, and what’s left is who you are. It bonds through battle: Surviving together carves a shared story no sunny day can match. It’s universal, not personal: Your neurodiverse struggles? They’re human struggles, remixed. Nelson Mandela said suffering turns ordinary people into something extraordinary—if they let it. For neurodiverse pairs, that “letting it” means seeing difference as a co-conspirator, not a culprit. 🛠️ Interventions: How We Help You Harness Suffering 🔍 Neuro-Informed Insight Our specialists get it: autism and neurotypicality aren’t flaws to fix—they’re lenses shaping how you experience pain. We decode those lenses so you stop blaming the wiring and start tackling the real stuff. Think less “Why can’t you just…?” and more “How do we ride this wave together?” ⚡ Practical Tools We don’t peddle fluffy “just communicate” fixes. Instead, we map your unique rhythms—maybe scripting responses for overwhelm or carving out sensory reset zones—so suffering becomes a challenge you master, not a chaos you drown in. 🌟 Reframing the Narrative Our team flips the script: suffering isn’t extra baggage for neurodiverse couples; it’s a chance to build something fierce and rare. We guide you to see each clash as a chisel, not a wrecking ball. 🏋️♂️ Exercise: Facing the Fire Together Grab a notebook or your phone—try this with your partner if you’re brave. Answer solo first, then share. Pinpoint the Pain: What’s one recurring suffering in your relationship right now? Name it—be specific. Feel the Sting: What’s the loudest thought it triggers? (“This shouldn’t be happening” or “If only they were different”?) Flip the Lens: How has this struggle made you stronger—alone or as a pair? Dig deep. Find the Gift: What’s one skill or truth this suffering taught you that you’d never learn in calm waters? Plot the Pivot: What’s one tiny step you could take together to face it—not fix it, just face it? Seal the Pact: Write a one-sentence vow to each other about meeting suffering as a team. Take 10 minutes to try this exercise. No pressure—just honesty. This isn’t about erasing pain; it’s about owning it. 🎉 Closing Punch: You’re Built for This Suffering doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re alive, clashing, growing. For neurodiverse couples, the stakes feel higher because the differences are louder, but so is the payoff. You’re not cursed with extra hurt; you’re gifted with a sharper forge. Step into it together—because the couples who thrive don’t avoid suffering; they wield it. 💬 Ready to wield your struggles into strengths? Click here to schedule your session. Warmly, Harry Motro Clinical Director Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center 🔦 Spotlight on Heather Emerson-Young Specialties and Certifications Neurodivergent Couples Autistic Individuals & Family Members ADHD & Executive Functioning Support Complex Trauma & PTSD Substance Use & Co-Occurring Disorders Co-Parenting Challenges Parenting Twice Exceptional Children Identity & Self-Acceptance Specialist in Neurodiverse Relationships Life Experience Lived Experience in a Neurodiverse Marriage Mother of Two Unique Children – Parenting an 18-year-old and a 13-year-old. Diverse Educational Background – Master’s in Marriage & Family Therapy, degrees in Communication, and a Doctorate in Education Experience Across Multiple Fields – Over five years in nonprofit work supporting the unhoused, LGBTQ+ communities, and individuals with learning disabilities Dedicated Educator – Adjunct professor at community college, undergraduate, and graduate levels Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapist – Using evidence-based and strength-focused approaches to support clients Contact Heather Today! Did you miss the last Blog? Click Here to Read Now! Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Cassie Clayton, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Cassie Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Neurodiverse Parenting HELPING YOUR CHILD THRIVE Most parents are willing to sacrifice almost anything to see your child happy, independent, and productive. We see parents bend over backwards to support their children. If you are using the wrong approach for them or if mom and dad are not on the same page, everyone in the family can quickly become exhausted and discouraged. You may even start to wonder if you are doing something wrong and making things more difficult. No matter how much you are putting into advocating for and supporting your child, it rarely feels like it is enough. Difficult social situations for your child break your heart. The frustrations spread to the parental relationship as one of you typically feels like she or he is carrying the bulk of the workload. NEED SUPPORT FOR YOUR TEEN? Teens Unmask Therapy Center is our trusted partner practice offering virtual counseling for teens who are autistic or exploring the possibility of being autistic. Many of our therapists are autistic themselves and bring compassionate, specialized support in areas like identity, communication, sensory overwhelm, and mental health. Our team creates a safe, affirming space where neurodivergent teens can feel understood and empowered. Please feel free to click below to learn more: Teens Unmask Therapy Center QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER Do you suspect that your child may have symptoms of social anxiety or high functioning autism? Is your child clearly intelligent but, yet struggling to read social cues? Is your child struggling making friends and/or keeping them? Is your child being bullied, or spending more time alone than you would like to see? Are adult responsibilities being ignored by your teen or young adult? Do you feel unsure about your child’s future? Is there a lack of motivation? Are you worried about your child's ability to function independently in the future? Do you get trapped in repetitive arguments with your child who seems to tune you out? Do you worry about your child being naïve, vulnerable to being taken advantage of? Is your child struggling to launch? Do you regularly fight with your partner about how to best support your child? Read More about Our Screeners Here YOU ARE NOT ALONE At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, we have therapists who work extensively with parents of neurodiverse children. A few of the basics that we cover include: Understanding the WHY behind your child's behaviors. This can include avoidance, attention-getting, sensory stimulation, protest, attempt to gain access, or an attempt to go from powerless to control. Planning strategies for predictable behaviors. This work involves examining regular problematic behaviors with an eye to changing what you can control - what happens before and after a behavior occurs. Developing a kind and consistent consequences strategy. Negative consequences should be a last resort and tied directly to the original behavior. The best consequences are positive ones for desired behaviors. Validate your neurodiverse child’s feelings. This will reduce their feeling emotionally isolated as they begin to understand themselves and that you understand them too. We've helped these parents go from completely exhausted to still tired but making progress! Fill out the form below. Include the ages of your children and a brief description of your struggles and we will match you with a therapist who can help. PARENTING AUTISM CENTER For our couples with children on the autism spectrum who need intensive autistic-aware parenting therapy, please consider the Parenting Autism Therapy Center , which provides counseling for parents of children with Autism & ADHD. We can help you find solutions to meet your family's needs! Visit our sister site, Parenting Autism Therapy Center , for more information: Parenting Autism Therapy Center Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

< Back Quick Guide - Neurodiverse Sex Therapy Tip: Want more resources? 📖 Check out our FAQs section if you have a specific question about sex and neurodiverse couples. Reach out now to get matched with an expert and schedule a free consultation. KEY FACTS Neurodiverse couples often face unique challenges around sex and intimacy , including but not limited to: Desire Imbalance : One partner may want sex more than the other, leading to frustration or shut downs. Sensory Differences : Sensitivity to touch, sound, or smell can make intimacy feel overwhelming or uncomfortable. Communication Barriers: Indirect or nonverbal cues can get misinterpreted, leading to disconnects around affection and desire. Different Experience Levels : Past trauma or limited exploration can create mismatched comfort with sexual closeness. Therapy with a neuro-affirming therapist can help couples explore key areas in order to help them strengthen their intimacy: Define Sex: Couples often hold very different views of what intimacy includes. Therapy creates space to explore these differences, reset expectations, and expand how partners connect. Enthusiastic Consent : Intimacy is only healthy when both partners truly want to be there. We help couples build safety around saying “no” and ensure consent is always clear and respected. You vs. Me: Autistic partners may unintentionally focus on their own needs, but with support, can learn to lovingly shift attention toward their partner’s experiences and desires. Emotional Intimacy: Sexual closeness struggles when non-sexual areas of the relationship feel tense . We work on restoring emotional safety first, so intimacy can thrive again. Your Body: Some sexual concerns are rooted in emotions, others in medical issues . We help couples reduce shame, collaborate with specialists when needed, and adapt intimacy in caring ways. Here are some practical tools you and your partner can use to strengthen intimacy and connection: Use a 1–10 scale to communicate different comfort levels with touch or sensations. Set up safe words to pause or stop when boundaries are crossed. Agree on what counts as non-sexual touch versus sexual touch. Discuss boundaries together and identify what feels off-limits. Break intimacy into step-by-step conversations , including how to explore new ideas or preferences. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQS) 1. What kinds of intimacy struggles are common in neurodiverse relationships? Answer: Many couples impacted by autism or ADHD experience challenges like mismatched desire, sensory differences, communication breakdowns, and emotional disconnection. These issues are real, but they can be addressed through counseling and practical strategies that help both partners feel more understood and connected. 2. How can therapy help if my partner and I define “sex” differently? Answer: It’s common for partners to hold different views of intimacy —for example, one may see sex only as intercourse, while the other includes different forms of touching. Therapy provides a safe space to explore these differences, reset expectations, and create a shared understanding that strengthens connection. 3. What does enthusiastic consent mean in neurodiverse couples counseling? Answer: Enthusiastic consent means both partners are fully comfortable and willing to engage in intimacy. For autistic partners, saying “no” can sometimes feel difficult, especially if they are overwhelmed. In therapy, couples learn how to express boundaries clearly and ensure intimacy only happens when both people genuinely want it. 4. Can emotional struggles outside the bedroom affect sexual intimacy? Answer: Yes. When a relationship is weighed down by frustration, anger, or misunderstanding in daily life, sex often becomes unfulfilling . Therapy works to restore emotional safety first, which lays the foundation for deeper intimacy and more satisfying sexual connection. 5. What are some strategies my partner and I could use to strengthen our intimacy? Answer: In therapy, couples learn practical tools they can also try at home. These include using a 1–10 scale to share comfort levels with touch, creating safe words to pause or stop when needed, negotiating a schedule for intimacy, clarifying boundaries, and discussing step-by-step preferences for new experiences. Last reviewed: Sep 17 2025 • Authors: Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT (Clinical Director) and Jasmyne Mena (Director of Clinical Research & Scientific Communications, Senior Medical Writer, Neurodiversity) REFERENCES Barnett, J. P., & Maticka-Tyndale, E. (2015). Qualitative exploration of sexual experiences among adults on the autism spectrum: Implications for sex education. Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, 47(4), 171–179. 10.1363/47e5715. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1363/47e5715 Hancock, G., Stokes, M. A., & Mesibov, G. (2020). Differences in romantic relationship experiences for individuals with an autism spectrum disorder. Sexuality and Disability , 38 (2), 231–245. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11195-019-09573-8 Jones, A. C., Robinson, W. D., & Seedall, R. B. (2018). The Role of Sexual Communication in Couples’ Sexual Outcomes: A Dyadic Path Analysis. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 44(4), 606–623. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12282 Leitch, D. G. (2024). Towards a Culture of Care and Consent. Sexuality & Culture, 28(5), 1976–1993. https://doi-org.libproxy.csudh.edu/10.1007/s12119-024-10213-3 Mallory, A. B., Stanton, A. M., & Handy, A. B. (2019). Couples’ Sexual Communication and Dimensions of Sexual Function: A Meta-Analysis. The Journal of Sex Research, 56(7), 882–898. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2019.1568375 Mües, H. M., Markert, C., Feneberg, A. C., & Nater, U. M. (2025). Too stressed for sex? Associations between stress and sex in daily life. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 181, Article 107583. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2025.107583 Polo-Kantola, P., Manninen, S.-M., Vahlberg, T., & Kero, K. (2023). Patients with chronic diseases: is sexual health brought up by general practitioners during appointments? – A web-based study. Maturitas, 173, 33. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.maturitas.2023.04.055 Sala, G., Hooley, M., & Stokes, M. A. (2020a). Romantic intimacy in autism: A qualitative analysis. Journal of autism and developmental disorders, 50(11), 4133–4147. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-020-04377-8 Sala, G., Hooley, J., Hooley, M., & Stokes, M. A. (2024). Comparing Physical Intimacy and Romantic Relationships of Autistic and Non-autistic Adults: A Qualitative Analysis. Journal of autism and developmental disorders, 54(10), 3942–3951. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-023-06109-0 Veasey, A. W. (2025). Exploring Experiences of Non-Sexual Physical Touch in Single- and Dual-Trauma Couples: An Interpretive Phenomenological Analysis. ProQuest Dissertations & Theses. https://www.proquest.com/docview/3226025748 Vowels, L. M., & Mark, K. P. (2020). Strategies for Mitigating Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Relationships. Archives of sexual behavior, 49(3), 1017–1028. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-020-01640-y . Voos A.C., Pelphrey K.A., Kaiser M.D. Autistic traits are associated with diminished neural response to affective touch. Soc. Cogn. Affect. Neurosci. 2013;8:378–386. https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/8/4/378/1623776 Willis, M., Murray, K. N., & Jozkowski, K. N. (2021). Sexual Consent in Committed Relationships: A Dyadic Study. Journal of sex & marital therapy, 47(7), 669–686. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2021.1937417 Yew, R. Y., Hooley, M., & Stokes, M. A. (2023). Factors of relationship satisfaction for autistic and non-autistic partners in long-term relationships. Autism : the international journal of research and practice, 27(8), 13623613231160244. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613231160244 WHY CHOOSE US? DEPTH OF TEAM — 30+ neuro-informed therapists and coaches. 16,000+ sessions each year. The world’s largest practice dedicated to neurodiverse couples and individuals—so you benefit from deep, proven experience. WE ARE NEURODIVERSE: More than 90% of our clinicians are neurodiverse themselves, bringing a firsthand understanding of autism, ADHD, and related experiences. This lived perspective, combined with professional training, allows us to provide both expertise and genuine compassion to help you thrive. OUR MODEL: We use a neurodiverse counseling model —practical, skills- based, and tailored to each couple. We don’t pathologize difference; we name neurodiverse traits as natural human variations in communication style, sensory needs, social energy, and executive functioning. Together, we map those patterns so both partners can see what’s really happening (not what they’re blaming each other for). From there, we translate insight into action: shared language for signals and needs, simple agreements for sensory fit, clear routines for planning and follow-through, and repair tools that reduce defensiveness. The goal isn’t to make anyone “more normal.” It’s to help you work with your differences—so empathy grows, teamwork strengthens, and your bond gets measurably closer. STRENGTH-BASED: Our neurodiverse counseling model is strengths-based and neuro-affirming because that’s what works—well-supported in couples therapy and even more effective with neurodiverse couples. Instead of fixing “deficits,” we identify and deploy real assets—precision, honesty, loyalty, pattern recognition, creativity, deep focus—so they actively solve problems. This lowers shame, builds safety fast, and turns differences into shared tools: clearer signals and agreements, sensory fit instead of overload, and routines that reduce friction. The payoff is practical—fewer blowups, better follow-through, and a bond that strengthens because you’re using what you already do well, together. OUR TEAM: Our experts are deeply compassionate and dedicated to helping neurodiverse couples thrive. Three things set our team apart: Ongoing Specialized Training – All team members receive weekly training on neurodiversity-focused content, ensuring our approaches stay current and effective. Collaborative Case Support – We hold weekly supervision sessions, including case consultations, so that no couple’s challenges are handled in isolation—your therapist has a full team behind them. Continuous Professional Growth – Every therapist pursues ongoing continuing education in neurodiverse relationships, keeping us at the forefront of best practices. ASSESSMENTS: In addition to providing therapy, many of our clinicians are specially trained in conducting in-depth adult autism and ADHD assessments . If you’re seeking greater clarity or considering an in-depth evaluation, our team can guide you through the process with professionalism and care. INSURANCE — We are insurance-friendly. As an out-of-network provider, we will send you a Superbill for therapy services that you can submit to your insurance company for potential reimbursement. Please know that we do NOT bill insurance directly or participate as an in-network provider. For more information, please visit the "Insurance/Fee" section on our FAQ page. DIAGNOSIS OPTIONAL — You don’t need a diagnosis to get help with us. We can start with what’s happening now—communication loops, sensory needs, executive-function friction, meltdowns/shutdowns—and turn those patterns into clear agreements, better repairs, and real relief. If you’re in California and want a formal autism or ADHD evaluation , our licensed clinicians can provide it—but it’s not required to benefit. Either way, the goal is the same: less blame, more understanding, a stronger bond, and real individual healing. NOT A CRISIS SERVICE — We’re not a crisis service. If you’re ever in immediate danger, call 911. For urgent mental health support, call or text 988 or go to https://988lifeline.org Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center is part of New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. WHO WE HELP We support neurodiverse couples and individuals nationwide through online therapy or coaching. Some common issues we help clients tackle include: Autism/ADHD differences Cassandra Syndrome Support Alexithymia Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) Highly Sensitive People Parenting and co-parenting challenges Intimacy (both physical and emotional) Autism and ADHD assessments and self-screeners Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Recurring discussions about “tone,” initiative, alexithymia , or intimacy Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) Discernment Counseling LEARN MORE 📖 Read our full Article on Neurodiverse Sex Therapy for an overview of challenges, therapy approaches, and more. 📖 Check out our FAQs section if you have a specific question about sex and neurodiverse couples.

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back Jamison Haase Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapist for Couples, Individuals, and Parents Who I Am: Act One: Small-Town Beginnings, Big-Hearted Lessons Jamison grew up in a tiny Minnesota town where the family rule was similar to so many others: feelings stay under wraps. Substance abuse, depression, and shame shaped a household that looked picture-perfect from the outside but ran on unspoken pain. Labeled “flaky” and “irresponsible,” Jamison spent years believing those words defined him—while quietly building hard-won empathy for anyone who feels misunderstood. Act Two: Hollywood Hustle Armed with a BFA in acting (1997), Jamison spent nearly 25 years on Los Angeles sets, eventually founding an on-camera school that helped hundreds of performers find their voice. Coaching actors taught him to read subtext and body language, hold space for others’ emotions, and spot the moment a story shifts—skills that now power his therapy work. Act Three: Therapy & a Late-Bloom Diagnosis After COVID, passion for showbiz faded and Jamison pivoted to mental health. While earning his Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy, he finally discovered the real reason he felt so out of sync in life: undiagnosed ADHD. Almost overnight, decades of shame melted, and a new mission emerged: help others rewrite their own misunderstood stories. Neurodiverse Couples Building a life with different neurotypes can feel like two radios tuned to separate stations—lots of volume, little clarity. Jamison’s 15-year marriage has lived that static and found the harmony, giving him lived wisdom he now shares with partners who are: Untangling Misinterpretations – When “You don’t care” really means “My brain processes differently.” Stuck in Blame-Shutdown Cycles – Swapping criticism and withdrawal for curiosity and repair. Hungry for Real Connection – Replacing scripts that never worked with communication that finally lands. How He Helps Name the Neurology – Understanding ADHD, autism, or AuDHD removes moral judgment and guilt. Create Accommodations – Practical systems for time, tasks, and sensory needs keep love from drowning in logistics. Reignite Intimacy – Emotionally Focused and Gottman-informed tools rebuild trust and warmth. With the right map, neurodiverse relationships don’t just survive—they become some of the most creative, resilient partnerships around. Neurodiverse Parenting Jamison and his wife are raising two energetic kids—one gifted, gloriously neurodiverse child and one future world-builder who keeps everyone laughing. Every school form, bedtime routine, and sensory storm doubles as on-the-job training. What He Knows Firsthand The confusion of trying discipline strategies that implode on an ADHD brain. The heartbreak of watching a gifted child mask until they burn out. The joy of seeing strengths shine when accommodations finally fit. In Parent-Focused Therapy, He Helps Caregivers: Decode Behaviors – Is it defiance, overwhelm, or an executive-function gap? Build Family Systems – Morning routines, homework plans, and shutdown-recovery scripts that actually work. Protect the Parent-Child Bond – Navigating shame, grief, and guilt so love stays front and center. Jamison believes children thrive when adults understand the brain behind the behavior—and when families trade “fixing” for celebrating unique wiring. Men, Neurodiversity, & A New Masculinity Growing up in rural Minnesota, Jamison absorbed a clear script: real men keep quiet, push through, never show weakness, or almost any emotion outside of anger. When undiagnosed ADHD amplified distraction, frustration, and shame, the result was an unhealthy mixture of anger and self-doubt that no one—least of all Jamison—could safely name. That powder keg eventually sent him to therapy, where he discovered two liberating truths: 1) masculinity isn’t one size fits all, and 2) neurodiverse brains often process emotion, stress, and sensory input in ways the old script never even considered. Late diagnosis reframed his struggles, and helped redefine masculinity as less about “manning up” and more about showing up —vulnerably, authentically, and in full technicolor neurodiversity. Today, Jamison helps other men rewrite that script. Whether clients are wrestling with ADHD-fueled impulsivity, autistic social fatigue, or the quiet dread of “never enough,” he offers a space where strength and sensitivity coexist—where tears, laughter, and profanity can all live in the same sentence. In Men’s Work, Jamison Guides Clients to: Decode Emotional Overload – separating neurological overwhelm from “weakness.” Transform Shutdowns & Outbursts – mapping triggers, building regulation tools, and practicing direct requests instead of silent resentment. Cultivate Shame-Resilience – replacing self-berating narratives with self-compassion rooted in accurate brain science. Align Identity with Values – moving from inherited roles to consciously chosen definitions of partner, father, friend, and man. Because masculinity doesn’t need to be torn down – it needs a broader definition that includes every neurotype, every emotion, and every voice. Trauma, Overwhelm, & EMDR Jamison is trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), a research-backed approach that helps the brain reprocess painful experiences so they stop running the show in the present. He uses EMDR with clients whose lives are shaped by: Old shame stories that won’t loosen their grip. Medical, relational, or childhood trauma that still lives in the body. Freeze, flight, or shutdown responses that feel automatic and out of proportion. Because many neurodivergent clients process information visually, somatically, or in “high-def” detail, Jamison tailors EMDR to honor sensory needs, pacing, and consent at every step. That can mean more preparation, slower sets, clear stop signals, and lots of collaboration about what feels safe. The goal isn’t to erase the past. It’s to take the charge out of it—so flashbacks become memories, triggers soften, and people can respond from choice instead of reflex. Specialties & Approach Late-identified ADHD & Autism in adults Neurodiverse couples communication & intimacy Executive-function coaching for real life Men’s issues & redefining masculinity Attachment & trauma-informed, person-centered care Emotionally Focused Therapy Gottman-inspired skills Somatic & creative techniques EMDR-informed trauma work License &Employment Information Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #151355 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Neurodiverse Couples, Autism, ADHD, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Trauma-Informed, Emotional Regulation, Attachment, Communication, Family Conflict, Emotional Intimacy, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Jamison Haase Take an Autism Test