< Back Quick Guide - ADHD Couples Therapy Tip: Want more resources? 📖 Check out our FAQs section if you have a specific question about our services you'd like an answer to. Reach out now to get matched with an expert and schedule a free consultation. KEY FACTS Many couples impacted by ADHD face painful patterns in their relationships , often leading to frustration and constant conflict rooted in missed expectations, forgetfulness, and poor follow-through. The non-ADHD partner often feels overburdened and alone , taking on more responsibilities and becoming resentful when efforts to ask for help are met with defensiveness or inaction. It’s important to remember: ADHD is a neurological condition , not a moral failing—so when an ADHD partner struggles with tasks or consistency, it reflects how their brain is wired , not who they are choosing to be. The ADHD partner may struggle with deep feelings of shame, inadequacy, and overwhelm , which can lead to avoidance, emotional withdrawal, or unhealthy coping mechanisms that damage trust and intimacy. Common relationship dynamics include a parent/child imbalance , frequent arguments over memory and responsibility, and the feeling that one partner is "always in trouble" while the other becomes the constant enforcer. Our team helps couples interrupt these cycles with ADHD-sensitive strategies, including the gentle ‘ visitor-based’ method , where the ADHD partner begins by simply showing up to a task and then decides whether to continue. This flexibility builds autonomy, while repeated practice increases confidence and makes task completion more manageable. Lasting change requires a customized, team-based approach , not just "trying harder." Through counseling, couples can learn how to take shared responsibility and treat each other with kindness as they co-create new, more supportive dynamics. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQS) What relationship problems are common in couples where one partner has ADHD? Couples affected by ADHD often experience recurring conflict, emotional distance , and power struggles. Missed responsibilities, forgetfulness, and poor follow-through can create a parent/child dynamic where one partner feels like the “enforcer” and the other feels constantly criticized. Over time, these ADHD relationship patterns can cause frustration, resentment, and disconnection. Why do non-ADHD partners often feel overburdened in ADHD relationships? Non-ADHD partners frequently take on a heavier share of responsibilities, leading to stress and burnout. When requests for help are met with defensiveness, inaction, or forgetfulness, the partner without ADHD can feel unsupported and alone. This imbalance is one of the most common reasons couples seek ADHD couples counseling. How does ADHD affect the partner who has it, and how does that impact the relationship? The partner with ADHD often struggles with shame, overwhelm, and feelings of inadequacy . These emotions can lead to avoidance, withdrawal, or unhealthy coping behaviors, which unintentionally damage trust and intimacy. Understanding how ADHD symptoms affect relationships is a key step in couples therapy. What is the visitor-based method in ADHD couples counseling? The visitor-based approach is a step-by-step strategy that helps the ADHD partner start a task by simply showing up, then deciding whether to continue. This flexibility builds autonomy, while repeated practice increases confidence and makes task completion more manageable. What makes ADHD couples therapy effective? Effective ADHD relationship counseling combines psychoeducation, communication skills, and emotional support. It focuses on shared responsibility, kindness, and practical strategies for managing ADHD symptoms at home. With the guidance of an ADHD-informed therapist, couples can interrupt destructive cycles and create more supportive, connected partnerships. Last reviewed: Oct. 2, 2025 • Authors: Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT (Clinical Director) and Jasmyne Mena (Director of Clinical Research & Scientific Communications, Senior Medical Writer, Neurodiversity) REFERENCES Dini, K. (2024). “I just don’t wanna” and the ADHD power of a visit . Neurodivergent Insights. https://neurodivergentinsights.com/power-of-a-visit/?srsltid=AfmBOoo4rmfgqZrq_V8dkif9dCYVqKAduwERYmyzH6RXzlMS22oeVdVG Ek, A., & Isaksson, G. (2013). How adults with ADHD get engaged in and perform everyday activities. Scandinavian Journal of Occupational Therapy , 20 (4), 282–291. https://doi-org.libproxy.csudh.edu/10.3109/11038128.2013.799226 Ginapp, C. M., Greenberg, N. R., Macdonald-Gagnon, G., Angarita, G. A., Bold, K. W., & Potenza, M. N. (2023). The experiences of adults with ADHD in interpersonal relationships and online communities: A qualitative study. SSM. Qualitative research in health, 3, 100223. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssmqr.2023.100223 Knies, K., Bodalski, E. A., & Flory, K. (2021). Romantic relationships in adults with ADHD: The effect of partner attachment style on relationship quality. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 38(1), 42–64. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407520953898 Konrad, K., & Eickhoff, S. B. (2010). Is the ADHD brain wired differently? A review on structural and functional connectivity in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Human brain mapping, 31(6), 904–916. https://doi.org/10.1002/hbm.21058 Robbins, C. A. (2005). ADHD couple and family relationships: Enhancing communication and understanding through Imago Relationship Therapy. Journal of Clinical Psychology , 61 (5), 565–577. https://doi-org.libproxy.csudh.edu/10.1002/jclp.20120 Wymbs, B. T., Canu, W. H., Sacchetti, G. M., & Ranson, L. M. (2021). Adult ADHD and romantic relationships: What we know and what we can do to help. Journal of Marital & Family Therapy , 47 (3), 664–681. https://doi-org.libproxy.csudh.edu/10.1111/jmft.12475 Zeides Taubin, D., & Maeir, A. (2023). “I wish it wasn’t all on me”: women’s experiences living with a partner with ADHD. Disability and Rehabilitation , 46 (14), 3017–3025. https://doi.org/10.1080/09638288.2023.2239158 WHY CHOOSE US? DEPTH OF TEAM — 30+ neuro-informed therapists and coaches. 16,000+ sessions each year. The world’s largest practice dedicated to neurodiverse couples and individuals—so you benefit from deep, proven experience. WE ARE NEURODIVERSE: More than 90% of our clinicians are neurodiverse themselves, bringing a firsthand understanding of autism, ADHD, and related experiences. This lived perspective, combined with professional training, allows us to provide both expertise and genuine compassion to help you thrive. OUR MODEL: We use a neurodiverse counseling model —practical, skills- based, and tailored to each couple. We don’t pathologize difference; we name neurodiverse traits as natural human variations in communication style, sensory needs, social energy, and executive functioning. Together, we map those patterns so both partners can see what’s really happening (not what they’re blaming each other for). From there, we translate insight into action: shared language for signals and needs, simple agreements for sensory fit, clear routines for planning and follow-through, and repair tools that reduce defensiveness. The goal isn’t to make anyone “more normal.” It’s to help you work with your differences—so empathy grows, teamwork strengthens, and your bond gets measurably closer. STRENGTH-BASED: Our neurodiverse counseling model is strengths-based and neuro-affirming because that’s what works—well-supported in couples therapy and even more effective with neurodiverse couples. Instead of fixing “deficits,” we identify and deploy real assets—precision, honesty, loyalty, pattern recognition, creativity, deep focus—so they actively solve problems. This lowers shame, builds safety fast, and turns differences into shared tools: clearer signals and agreements, sensory fit instead of overload, and routines that reduce friction. The payoff is practical—fewer blowups, better follow-through, and a bond that strengthens because you’re using what you already do well, together. OUR TEAM: Our experts are deeply compassionate and dedicated to helping neurodiverse couples thrive. Three things set our team apart: Ongoing Specialized Training – All team members receive weekly training on neurodiversity-focused content, ensuring our approaches stay current and effective. Collaborative Case Support – We hold weekly supervision sessions, including case consultations, so that no couple’s challenges are handled in isolation—your therapist has a full team behind them. Continuous Professional Growth – Every therapist pursues ongoing continuing education in neurodiverse relationships, keeping us at the forefront of best practices. ASSESSMENTS: In addition to providing therapy, many of our clinicians are specially trained in conducting in-depth adult autism and ADHD assessments . If you’re seeking greater clarity or considering an in-depth evaluation, our team can guide you through the process with professionalism and care. INSURANCE — We are insurance-friendly. As an out-of-network provider, we will send you a Superbill for therapy services that you can submit to your insurance company for potential reimbursement. Please know that we do NOT bill insurance directly or participate as an in-network provider. For more information, please visit the "Insurance/Fee" section on our FAQ page. DIAGNOSIS OPTIONAL — You don’t need a diagnosis to get help with us. We can start with what’s happening now—communication loops, sensory needs, executive-function friction, meltdowns/shutdowns—and turn those patterns into clear agreements, better repairs, and real relief. If you’re in California and want a formal autism or ADHD evaluation , our licensed clinicians can provide it—but it’s not required to benefit. Either way, the goal is the same: less blame, more understanding, a stronger bond, and real individual healing. NOT A CRISIS SERVICE — We’re not a crisis service. If you’re ever in immediate danger, call 911. For urgent mental health support, call or text 988 or go to https://988lifeline.org Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center is part of New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. WHO WE HELP We support neurodiverse couples and individuals nationwide through online therapy or coaching. Some common issues we help clients tackle include: Autism/ADHD differences Cassandra Syndrome Support Alexithymia Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) Highly Sensitive People Parenting and co-parenting challenges Intimacy (both physical and emotional) Autism and ADHD assessments and self-screeners Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Recurring discussions about “tone,” initiative, alexithymia , or intimacy Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) Discernment Counseling LEARN MORE 📖 Check out our FAQs section if you have a specific question about our services you'd like an answer to. Reach out now to get matched with an expert and schedule a free consultation.

< Back Quick Guide - Discernment Counseling for Neurodiverse Couples Tip: Want more resources? 📖 Check out our FAQs section if you have a specific question about our services you'd like an answer to. Reach out now to get matched with an expert and schedule a free consultation. KEY FACTS Discernment counseling is a brief, decision-focused process for couples uncertain about staying together or separating . In relationships where autism or ADHD is a factor, discernment counseling with a neuro-informed therapist can offer couples a space to pause conflict, understand how different brain wiring shapes the relationship, and decide—with clarity and compassion—what comes next. When a neurodiverse marriage is on the brink, couples face complex decisions shaped by their neurological differences , often asking, “Is my partner capable of change? ” and “ Will our children be better off if we stay together? ” Neuro-informed support can provide clarity and perspective. Couples often reach this point after years of miscommunication, emotional exhaustion, or therapy that failed to account for their neurological differences. One partner may feel dismissed or lonely , while the other feels overwhelmed or misunderstood, leaving both unsure whether change is possible. Unlike traditional couples therapy, discernment counseling for neurodiverse couples often starts with developing a six-month roadmap that identifies what each partner needs to work. If both agree to working on their contributions, the couple begins six months of focused therapy before revisiting the question of whether to stay together. If either partner says no, the counselor guides a healthy separation or helps maintain the best possible status quo. Whether couples decide to stay together or part ways, discernment counseling offers hope by providing direction and peace of mind. It helps both partners make an informed, compassionate choice rather than one driven by confusion or crisis. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQS) What is the goal of discernment counseling for neurodiverse couples? The goal isn’t to repair the relationship immediately but to help each partner gain clarity and confidence about the next step —whether that’s committing to change or moving toward separation. For neurodiverse couples, it also means understanding how traits like hyperfocus, sensory sensitivities, or executive function challenges may have shaped their dynamics, so future decisions are grounded in insight rather than blame. How is discernment counseling different from regular couples therapy for neurodiverse partners? Traditional couples therapy assumes both partners want to work on the relationship. Discernment counseling meets couples earlier, when one or both are unsure if they want to commit to counseling where the goal is to restore the relationship. For neurodiverse couples, it adds a neuro-informed framework that helps each partner recognize how differences in processing, communication, and emotional expression have impacted the relationship—and how those can be addressed if they choose to move forward. How long does discernment counseling last, and what happens after? It’s a brief, structured process—typically one to five sessions. If the couple chooses to continue the relationship, the counselor provides a roadmap for six months of neurodiverse-informed therapy focused on practical strategies for connection, communication, and regulation. If they decide to separate, the counselor helps them do so respectfully, with understanding of how their neurological differences influenced their journey. What if one partner isn’t sure about their neurodivergence or doesn’t want to participate fully? That’s common and completely okay. The process doesn’t require a formal diagnosis, only a willingness to reflect. Even if one partner feels uncertain or hesitant, discernment counseling with one of our neuro-informed experts can reduce tension and promote self-awareness. Can discernment counseling still help if we decide to separate? Yes. For many neurodiverse couples, discernment counseling becomes a compassionate closing chapter. It helps both partners understand what happened through a neurological lens—lessening shame, resentment, and confusion. Whether they stay or part ways, both leave with greater understanding of themselves and of how neurodiversity shaped their relationship. Last reviewed: Oct 3, 2025 • Authors: Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT (Clinical Director) and Jasmyne Mena (Director of Clinical Research & Scientific Communications, Senior Medical Writer, Neurodiversity) REFERENCES Doherty, W. J., Harris, S. M., & Wilde, J. L. (2016). Discernment Counseling for "Mixed-Agenda" Couples. Journal of marital and family therapy , 42 (2), 246–255. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12132 Edge, J.J., Parker, S. “He was very confusing to me in the beginning”: a qualitative exploration of the romantic relationship experiences of neurotypical individuals with autistic partners. SN Soc Sci 5, 22 (2025). https://doi.org/10.1007/s43545-025-01048-2 Emerson, A. J., Harris, S. M., & Ahmed, F. A. (2021). The impact of discernment counseling on individuals who decide to divorce: experiences of post-divorce communication and coparenting. Journal of marital and family therapy, 47(1), 36–51. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12463 Konrad, K., & Eickhoff, S. B. (2010). Is the ADHD brain wired differently? A review on structural and functional connectivity in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Human brain mapping, 31(6), 904–916. https://doi.org/10.1002/hbm.21058 Wymbs, B. T., Canu, W. H., Sacchetti, G. M., & Ranson, L. M. (2021). Adult ADHD and romantic relationships: What we know and what we can do to help. Journal of Marital & Family Therapy , 47 (3), 664–681. https://doi-org.libproxy.csudh.edu/10.1111/jmft.12475 WHY CHOOSE US? DEPTH OF TEAM — 30+ neuro-informed therapists and coaches. 16,000+ sessions each year. The world’s largest practice dedicated to neurodiverse couples and individuals—so you benefit from deep, proven experience. WE ARE NEURODIVERSE: More than 90% of our clinicians are neurodiverse themselves, bringing a firsthand understanding of autism, ADHD, and related experiences. This lived perspective, combined with professional training, allows us to provide both expertise and genuine compassion to help you thrive. OUR MODEL: We use a neurodiverse counseling model —practical, skills- based, and tailored to each couple. We don’t pathologize difference; we name neurodiverse traits as natural human variations in communication style, sensory needs, social energy, and executive functioning. Together, we map those patterns so both partners can see what’s really happening (not what they’re blaming each other for). From there, we translate insight into action: shared language for signals and needs, simple agreements for sensory fit, clear routines for planning and follow-through, and repair tools that reduce defensiveness. The goal isn’t to make anyone “more normal.” It’s to help you work with your differences—so empathy grows, teamwork strengthens, and your bond gets measurably closer. STRENGTH-BASED: Our neurodiverse counseling model is strengths-based and neuro-affirming because that’s what works—well-supported in couples therapy and even more effective with neurodiverse couples. Instead of fixing “deficits,” we identify and deploy real assets—precision, honesty, loyalty, pattern recognition, creativity, deep focus—so they actively solve problems. This lowers shame, builds safety fast, and turns differences into shared tools: clearer signals and agreements, sensory fit instead of overload, and routines that reduce friction. The payoff is practical—fewer blowups, better follow-through, and a bond that strengthens because you’re using what you already do well, together. OUR TEAM: Our experts are deeply compassionate and dedicated to helping neurodiverse couples thrive. Three things set our team apart: Ongoing Specialized Training – All team members receive weekly training on neurodiversity-focused content, ensuring our approaches stay current and effective. Collaborative Case Support – We hold weekly supervision sessions, including case consultations, so that no couple’s challenges are handled in isolation—your therapist has a full team behind them. Continuous Professional Growth – Every therapist pursues ongoing continuing education in neurodiverse relationships, keeping us at the forefront of best practices. ASSESSMENTS: In addition to providing therapy, many of our clinicians are specially trained in conducting in-depth adult autism and ADHD assessments . If you’re seeking greater clarity or considering an in-depth evaluation, our team can guide you through the process with professionalism and care. INSURANCE — We are insurance-friendly. As an out-of-network provider, we will send you a Superbill for therapy services that you can submit to your insurance company for potential reimbursement. Please know that we do NOT bill insurance directly or participate as an in-network provider. For more information, please visit the "Insurance/Fee" section on our FAQ page. DIAGNOSIS OPTIONAL — You don’t need a diagnosis to get help with us. We can start with what’s happening now—communication loops, sensory needs, executive-function friction, meltdowns/shutdowns—and turn those patterns into clear agreements, better repairs, and real relief. If you’re in California and want a formal autism or ADHD evaluation , our licensed clinicians can provide it—but it’s not required to benefit. Either way, the goal is the same: less blame, more understanding, a stronger bond, and real individual healing. NOT A CRISIS SERVICE — We’re not a crisis service. If you’re ever in immediate danger, call 911. For urgent mental health support, call or text 988 or go to https://988lifeline.org Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center is part of New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. WHO WE HELP We support neurodiverse couples and individuals nationwide through online therapy or coaching. Some common issues we help clients tackle include: Autism/ADHD differences Cassandra Syndrome Support Alexithymia Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) Highly Sensitive People Parenting and co-parenting challenges Intimacy (both physical and emotional) Autism and ADHD assessments and self-screeners Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Recurring discussions about “tone,” initiative, alexithymia , or intimacy Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) Discernment Counseling LEARN MORE 📖 Check out our FAQs section if you have a specific question about our services you'd like an answer to. Reach out now to get matched with an expert and schedule a free consultation.

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Neurodiverse Couples One of the many tricks the human mind likes to play is convincing us that: "I am the only one.” More specifically, we often tell ourselves: "I am the only one who… thinks like this, acts like this, looks like this, struggles with this kind of thinking." For those experiencing the challenges of navigating a neurodiverse relationship, it can feel isolating. That was most certainly true for me in my neurodiverse marriage. There was tremendous power for my wife and I in naming our neurodiversity. This allowed us to feel seen and affirmed. Even though we struggled with our communication, our daily habits, our differences, and our life together, our understanding gave us a path forward. This allowed us to begin to see one another with compassion and grace. Hi, I am Jory Wilson, a dedicated couples counselor with a focus on supporting neurodiverse couples. `I help couples with the dynamics of relationships where one or both partners are neurodivergent. My practice is built on a deep appreciation for the complexities of neurodiversity, including Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, and sensory processing differences, and how these aspects influence relationship interactions. My holistic approach not only addresses the challenges but also highlights the strengths that neurodiversity brings into relationships. My objective is to empower couples to gracefully manage their differences and to build robust, resilient partnerships that celebrate both individuality and unity. Sex Addiction and Neurodiversity In addition to my focus on neurodiverse relationships, I have developed a specialization in addressing the complexities of sex addiction within these unique partnerships. Understanding that sex addiction can present distinct challenges in the context of neurodiversity, I approach therapy with sensitivity to the nuances of how neurodivergent traits can intersect with addictive behaviors. My goal is to help individuals and couples navigate the intricacies of sex addiction by fostering healthy communication, establishing boundaries, and rebuilding trust. I employ a compassionate, non-judgmental approach, blending therapeutic techniques such as IFS (Internal Family Systems), EFT (Emotion-Focused Therapy) and mindfulness-based strategies to support recovery and healing. My work with neurodiverse couples and individuals facing sex addiction is rooted in the belief that every person and relationship has the capacity for growth and transformation. By creating a supportive and understanding environment, I aim to empower my clients to explore their behaviors, understand the underlying causes of addiction, and develop coping mechanisms that align with their values and relationship goals. Recognizing the importance of tailored interventions, I collaborate closely with each client to craft personalized treatment plans that address both neurodiversity and sex addiction, working towards a future where both individuals and their relationships can thrive. Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (Candidate) What is a CSAT? Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSAT) are professionals who have taken supplementary training to treat individuals experiencing unwanted or compulsive sexual behaviors, or sex addiction. CSATs take a deep dive into the root of the compulsive behavior, in many cases it is trauma, and provide a step-by-step guide to healing both the behavior and the wound it is protecting. Couples Retreats & Intensives I'm also passionate about helping couples in crisis find their way back to each other through innovative intensive sessions. My approach combines evidence-based therapeutic modalities with intuitive guidance, providing a powerful alternative to therapy (a process that can take months to years). Intensives are designed to be efficient and highly effective, providing tangible improvements in a rapid amount of time. Whether your relationship is on the brink of divorce, navigating trauma, or just stuck in unhelpful cycles, participating in an intensive with your partner can be a great way to jumpstart your healing journey. My Personal Story In a world that told me I needed to pick myself up by my bootstraps and tough it out I decided, after not being able to stuff emotions any longer, to go a different route. I left my career to focus on healing the deep wounds that I was not even able to name. That led to personal and couples therapy that forever changed my life for the better. I was so profoundly impacted by my experiences in therapy that I wondered if I could participate in the healing journey for others the way my therapist did for me. I decided to pursue a career in psychotherapy in efforts to extend the hand of compassion that was so lovingly extended to me. Make no mistake about it, the work of change is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it is also the most rewarding. I am living proof that couples therapy can have a profound impact on a relationship. My wife and I are living some of the most present and grateful years of our life as we raise a child together. We both entered our relationship with wounds that run incredibly deep, but the courageous work of change can heal in ways that I never imagined. If that is true in my life, then it is true for you as well. Specialties Sex Addiction Internet Addiction Affair Recovery Trauma OCD Modalities IFS (Internal Family Systems) EFT (Emotion-Focused Therapy) Person Centered Therapy Trauma Informed Therapy Clients Couples Individuals Teens Families Group Therapy License and Employment Registered Associate Marriage Family Therapist, AMFT # 145913 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc. Specialty Areas: Neurodiverse Couples, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Sex/Physical Intimacy, Communication, Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Trauma-Informed, Addiction, Emotion Focused Therapy, Internal Family Systems, Christian, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Jory Wilson Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back Jenny Pan Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist | Neurodiverse Couples Specialist My Personal Story Caught Between Cultures I am a first-generation Chinese American, born in Taiwan and raised in New York. I’m fluent in Mandarin Chinese and deeply connected to my cultural roots. But growing up, I often felt like I had to shapeshift to belong—blend in, stay quiet, and strive for perfection in everything I did. I carried the weight of being “too much” in some spaces and “not enough” in others. Over time, I’ve come to embrace what makes me different. I wear my heritage with pride, speak my truth with courage, and hold my healing journey as a testament to resilience. Early Struggles With Differences I immigrated to the U.S. at age 9 and endured years of bullying due to emotional, physical, and learning differences. Like many kids in the '80s, I went undiagnosed for ADHD —though I carried many of its traits. A Neurodivergent Marriage - Unrecognized Later in life, I married someone who was eventually diagnosed with autism— after our divorce. For 15 years, we struggled to connect, not realizing that we were a neurodivergent couple trying to operate in a neurotypical model of marriage. Living Through Cassandra Syndrome I now understand that I was experiencing something many partners of autistic individuals face: Cassandra Syndrome. I was confused, emotionally depleted, and constantly questioning my reality. At the time, I didn’t have a name for the chronic sense of loneliness and the emotional disconnection I felt. Today, I can look back and name it—and I want others to know they are not alone. If this resonates with you, I recommend exploring Believing Cassandra , a powerful resource for partners of neurodivergent individuals. Parenting in a Neurodiverse World Today, I’m the mother of two amazing kids (now 14 and 12), including a daughter with ADHD. Our family continues to navigate the neurodiverse world—messy, beautiful, and real. At one point, I poured that journey into a poem, capturing the raw truth and hope that helped me move forward: Brokenness is not the end, it’s the place where light gets in, where truth unfolds in tender threads, and new stories can begin... This isn’t just poetry—it’s a path I’ve walked. The Impact of Therapy on My Life Therapy didn’t just help me—it changed everything. I often say my therapist was like a breath of fresh air to lungs that had forgotten how to breathe. Therapy gave me space to rediscover my voice, to grieve and heal, and to show up for my children in a way that felt grounded and whole. Becoming a therapist was a leap of faith. I wanted to give others the same compassion and clarity I received when I was lost. It’s been one of the most fulfilling decisions of my life. Helping Neurodiverse Couples Find Connection Neurodiverse couples often come to therapy exhausted—not from a lack of love, but from the endless misunderstandings. I get it, not just professionally, but personally. I’ve lived the confusion of missed cues, clashing communication styles, and emotional disconnection. These couples aren’t broken. They’re navigating two different operating systems, often without a manual. My approach is rooted in this truth: neurodiverse relationships can thrive—when we stop trying to force sameness and start learning each other’s language. I also work with individuals and couples in Mandarin (and Chinglish), offering a space that feels more natural and deeply connecting for clients with shared cultural backgrounds. I have experience supporting multicultural and mixed-background couples in navigating the complexities of identity, language, and communication. I help couples: Understand their neurological differences without judgment De-escalate conflict and strengthen emotional regulation Build communication tools that actually work for both partners Create systems that support daily functioning, from parenting to housework Repair old wounds while building new habits of connection Common dynamics I address include: One partner needing direct, literal communication while the other craves emotional nuance Shutdowns, meltdowns, or missed signals leading to hurt or confusion Different needs for routine, sensory input, or social interaction Emotional burnout from masking, rejection sensitivity, or late diagnosis Couples with mixed cultural backgrounds Together, we untangle the pain, challenge the shame, and build something more authentic—something that works. Life Inside a Neurodiverse Blended Family I’m now remarried and living in a blended family that includes my two children and my husband’s adult children. Every day, we’re learning how to honor each other’s histories, personalities, and neurotypes while building something new together. Blended families aren’t easy—but they are rich with opportunities for grace and growth. Ours has been no exception. We’ve had to work through loyalty binds, competing schedules, co-parenting dynamics with exes, and very different ways of expressing emotion or asking for space. What helps us stay connected is our commitment to intentional practices. We hold weekly check-ins as a couple—not just to address problems but to stay tuned in emotionally. We also attend monthly couples therapy, even during the calm seasons, because we believe in proactive care. It’s like tending a garden—you don’t wait until things are dying to water the soil. Our family isn’t seamless. But it’s ours. It’s genuine, loving, and constantly growing. And that, to me, is beautiful. Supporting Coparents and Blended Families in Neurodiverse Contexts Blending families is never simple. When you add neurodivergence—whether in a parent or child—it introduces a whole other layer of complexity. From sensory needs to emotional regulation, from time blindness to executive functioning struggles, the everyday logistics of parenting can feel overwhelming. I help parents and stepparents: Co-parent with empathy across households and neurotypes Build trust with stepchildren while respecting boundaries Manage uneven transitions between two homes Support neurodivergent children who feel misunderstood in blended environments Navigate parallel parenting, emotional dysregulation, and the grief of “family ideal” myths This isn’t just theoretical for me—it’s lived. And I bring that experience to every session with compassion, clarity, and hope. When Cultural Identity and Neurodivergence Collide In some couples, one partner is navigating the world through a neurodivergent lens while also carrying the weight of cultural expectations, family loyalty, or identity struggles. That’s been my lived experience—and it’s a frequent reality in the clients I serve. That is why I offer individuals and couples in Mandarin (and Chinglish) - to provide a space that feels more natural and deeply connecting for clients with similar cultural backgrounds. I am passionate about supporting multicultural and mixed-background couples in navigating the complexities of identity, language, and communication. Some of the challenges I help couples face include: Cultural pressure to “save face” conflicting with the need to set emotional boundaries Differences in how love, care, or conflict are expressed across cultural or neurological lines A neurodivergent partner who struggles with social norms while their partner fears community judgment One partner taught to suppress emotional needs, the other wired for direct expression or sensory regulation I help couples slow down, translate, and build shared meaning in a way that honors both their brains and their backgrounds. The goal isn’t assimilation—it’s authentic connection. My Book I’m proud to be a co-author of Asian American Chronicles: Tales of Mental Health & Hope, written with my professor and classmates. It’s a heartfelt, honest look at the intersection of cultural identity and emotional well-being. For anyone who’s felt caught between expectations and authenticity, I hope it brings comfort and connection. Healing Trauma & Relational Wounds with EMDR In addition to talk therapy, I am trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), a trauma-focused approach that helps the brain re-process painful experiences so they no longer feel as overwhelming, intrusive, or defining. I use EMDR with clients who are navigating: Complex PTSD rooted in childhood or relational trauma Betrayal trauma, affairs, and repeated relationship ruptures Chronic shame, self-blame, and “never enough” narratives Experiences of racism, bullying, or cultural invalidation that still echo in the present Because many of my clients are neurodivergent, highly sensitive, or carrying cultural and family expectations, I tailor EMDR to honor pacing, sensory needs, and safety. That can look like: Spending extra time preparing your nervous system and building trust Using clear stop signals, check-ins, and collaborative choice at every step Integrating body awareness, imagery, and resourcing that fit your cultural and personal story The goal isn’t to erase what happened. It’s to lessen the emotional “charge” of those memories, so they no longer run your relationships from the shadows—and you can respond from clarity and self-compassion instead of survival mode. Specialties Neurodiverse & Neurotypical Couples Counseling Complex PTSD Divorce, Parenting & Blended Family Work Betrayal & Affairs Recovery Work Multicultural Relationship Challenges LGBTQ+ Affirming and Relationship Support Modalities Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) Gottman Method (Level 1) EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Brainspotting (Phase 1) Traditional Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) & TEAM-CBT Trauma-Informed Therapy Existential Centered Therapy PREPARE/ENRICH assessment tool for premarital, marital or enrichment counseling Education M.A. Marriage and Family Therapy, Western Seminary B.S. Finance & Accounting, New York University License & Employment Information Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #155590 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Neurodiverse Couples, Trauma, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), LGBTQIA+, Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Divorce, Blended Families, Multicultural Challenges, Cassandra Syndrome Support, Communication, EFT, CBT, Brainspotting, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Jenny Pan Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Tamala Takahashi Not accepting new clients See our other clinicians or Fill our our contact form to get matched About Tamala: Hi there! I was late-diagnosed ADHD (inattentive) at age 49. Two of my three adult children were also diagnosed with ADHD in their late teens/early 20’s. My oldest child is undiagnosed, however they are likely autistic/ADHD as well. My husband of 27 years is late-diagnosed with AuDHD (at age 48). After a fulfilling first career in nonprofit consulting, I decided to focus on helping couples heal and grow in their relationships. Today, I specialize in guiding couples to reconnect, improve communication, and build healthier, more fulfilling partnerships. I am sharing this with you because I believe it will help me understand and support you. I look forward to hearing from you. Navigating Neurodiverse Relationships Neurodiverse couples work is about building communication and coping skills that work best in this particular relationship while maintaining one’s autonomy and individual self. In neurodiverse relationships, clients may have difficulty understanding each other, may be unsure what is OK and not OK to do or say, may feel lonely or annoyed, and may feel like fights and conversations continue to go around and around without resolution. My goal with couples is to meet both individuals where they are at and to assist each individual identify their needs and wants, articulate them, and respond when their partner does the same. The couple decides where they want to go with the relationship and works best for them. And in this process, I hold space, grace, and validation for each individual’s experience in how they process the world as well as the emotional lessons they have learned from their past. You Are NOT Alone The neurodiverse experience can feel lonely. Whether you are neurodiverse or have a neurodiverse partner/family member, it can feel like you are expected to behave a certain way and say certain things, or that no matter how hard you try, you can’t do it right. Maybe you feel like there are things that just don’t make sense but nobody else can see it. That struggle can feel so lonely. My intention in therapy is to provide a space where you are no longer alone. Whether in couples or individual therapy, I am there to support you and hold space for your lived experiences. You Can Do This You have made it to this moment. Congratulations! But I’m guessing those coping skills you developed aren’t working as well anymore and you’re looking for something to help navigate life and relationships. The good news is that you can learn new skills that are more appropriate to your life now. You did it before, and you can do it again. I believe all of us have the capacity to heal and improve our inner lives. That said, it can sometimes be difficult to do this work alone, let alone know what to do at all. That’s where therapy can be a bridge to confidence and a calmer inner world . When humans work together interdependently, we can go further and do better than we can do alone. My position as a therapist is to support my clients in this journey to inner strength and groundedness . My Therapeutic Philosophy While it seems like today we have more understanding of (neuro)diversity, more grace and compassion for each other, and more freedom to move about the cabin without masking, we also live in the modern world where we witness folks’ lives on full display to be judged on social media, where we are told we can do anything yet can receive harsh criticism for not being perfect, and where there is a lingering feeling of uncertainty of the future. This mixed messaging can be destabilizing. In addition, our sense of self and perceptions of others are derived from a combination of our personal experiences (including trauma and triumphs), what we learned from our caretakers, the lessons from other authority figures, society’s messages, and our neurobiology. This mixture is unique to each individual. How we process information therefore has an impact on how we perceive and interact with ourselves and others. I believe a therapist’s role is to provide stability while the client(s) works through uncertainty, reality checks the lessons they learned in life, tries something new, and finds a healthy path to what it looks like for them to be grounded. The specifics will look different for each client(s), but all sessions are built around the principles of acceptance, patience, and kindness. I work collaboratively with the client(s) to identify areas of focus and what works best for them from their perspective. In our 50-min. sessions, therapy goals are usually a combination of gaining clarity, self-awareness, self-compassion, and coping skills. When working with couples or families, communication skills are a significant part of the work as well . Areas of focus Adult diagnosed/suspected ADHD/Autism/AuDHD ADHD/AuDHD with anxiety and depression Women/Non-binary with ADHD/AuDHD cPTSD and Trauma Adolescent diagnosed/suspected ADHD/Autism/AuDHD Parents of adolescent/adult neurodiverse children Childhood emotional neglect/emotional abuse Adult neurodiverse relationships with parents and other family members Empty nest/menopause transitions Multi-cultural relationships/families Intersection of neurodiversity and LGBTQ+ Young adult launching (college, early career, living away from parents, adult relationships) Self Esteem and Assertiveness Social media/video game addiction Religious/cult abuse recovery Modalities Client-centered Therapy Trauma Informed Therapy (CTP certified) Solution Focused Therapy Strengths-Based Approach Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) Somatic Therapy for Trauma Tarot Therapy Positive Psychology Relationship Anarchy approach: anti-hierarchical practices (everyone in the relationship is equal) anti-normativity (every relationship’s success criteria is unique to them) interdependency (partners can share feelings and needs openly and safely) individual autonomy (each partner is a complete human on their own) License & Certifications Registered Associate Marriage Family Therapist, AMFT Registered Professional Clinical Counselor Certified Trauma Professional (CTP) Education Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology, Antioch University of Los Angeles Employment Information Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc . Specialty Areas: Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Neurodiverse Couples, Autism, Sex/Physical Intimacy, Teens, ADHD, Emotional Intimacy, Communication, Not Accepting New Clients Tamala Takahashi Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back Empowering Neurodiverse Relationships 🌿 I believe that neurodiverse couples can thrive when they are given the tools and support to better understand each other. Through neurodiverse couples counseling , I guide partners in embracing their differences. My goal is to help transform challenges into opportunities for growth and building fulfilling, connected relationships that honor each partner’s unique strengths. Specialties: Neurodiverse Couples Trauma Parenting (Neurotypical and Neurodiverse) Sex Addiction Substance Use Addiction Inner Child Work/Parts Work Life Experience Autistic & ADHD (AuDHD) Partner to a neurodiverse husband Mother to 2 wonderful children Identifies as a queer woman Experience being in recovery from addiction Clients: Couples Individuals Teens Families Group Therapy Modalities: IFS (Internal Family Systems) Family Systems Gottman Method Bowenian Family Therapy Emotionally-focused Therapy Solution-focused Therapy Trauma Informed Therapy My Professional Journey with Neurodiversity I believe my work as a therapist is enriched by a unique blend of personal and professional insights, particularly in the realm of neurodiversity. As an autistic woman also living with ADHD , I bring a deep, lived understanding of how neurodiverse traits—such as communication styles, sensory sensitivities, and emotional processing —impact relationships. My professional background, which includes working as a physician and now as an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist allows me to support my clients in both the emotional and practical aspects of building healthier, more connected relationships. Through my own journey with neurodiversity, I’ve come to understand how differences can be both challenging and transformative. These experiences shape my empathetic approach, especially in helping couples navigate the unique dynamics that neurodiversity introduces into their relationships. Personal Experiences That Shape My Work As a queer woman in recovery from addiction, my personal experiences have been integral to my coaching practice. I’ve embarked on a long journey of self-discovery, working through childhood trauma, complex family dynamics, grief, loss, and understanding my own neurodiverse identity. These lived experiences allow me to connect authentically with clients, offering them a compassionate and empowering approach to their own struggles. My background enables me to provide a supportive environment for those who are navigating similar challenges in their relationships. Neurodiversity in My Family Life While raising my two wonderful children, my understanding of neurodiversity deepened. This understanding became even more personal when my husband was recently diagnosed with ADHD , further expanding my knowledge of neurodiverse relationships. These insights into both autism and ADHD have shaped my personal life and professional practice. They have also enhanced my ability to guide couples through their own neurodiverse relationships. Whether through parenting, marriage, or coaching, I’ve come to appreciate the complexities and gifts that neurodiversity brings to relationships. From Addiction to Recovery My struggle with addiction was deeply tied to feelings of overstimulation and stress, common traits among neurodiverse individuals. This experience led me to a place where I felt disconnected from myself and those I loved. The "gift of desperation" prompted me to seek help, and through years of recovery, including support from Alcoholics Anonymous and individual coaching, I found my way back to myself. Through this process, I realized that addiction doesn’t just impact the individual—it profoundly affects relationships . I believe that healthy relationships can be a foundation for healing, offering a supportive environment where both partners can grow and reconnect. My personal journey of recovery fuels my passion to help others experience this transformation in their lives and relationships. Couples and Neurodiversity 🧠 Neurodiverse traits—such as variations in communication styles, emotional processing, and sensory sensitivities—can deeply impact relationships. However, when these differences are understood and embraced , they can become a source of strength rather than tension. In my practice, I work collaboratively with couples to enhance communication, manage conflict, and embrace their unique differences. By creating a supportive environment for exploration and dialogue, I help couples build empathy and connection , ultimately leading to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship. Navigating Neurodiversity and Addiction 💔 Neurodiverse individuals are more prone to addiction due to a variety of factors, including challenges with impulse control, emotional regulation, and difficulties with social interaction. Traits associated with neurodiversity, such as heightened stress responses and sensory overwhelm, can make certain individuals more vulnerable to seeking coping mechanisms through substances or compulsive behaviors like sex addiction. Unfortunately, these behaviors can create a cycle of isolation and emotional disconnection within relationships. In my coaching practice, I work with both sex addiction and substance use addiction, understanding that while they share similarities, they also present unique challenges. Both forms of addiction can create profound rifts in a relationship, leading to trust issues, secrecy, and emotional distance . However, they differ in how they manifest and impact the couple. Substance use often affects daily functioning and physical health, while sex addiction can result in deep feelings of betrayal and shame, particularly for the hurt partner. License: Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #153124 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Neurodiverse Couples, LGBTQIA+, Addiction, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Sex/Physical Intimacy, Emotional Intimacy, ADHD, Autism, Trauma-Informed, Internal Family Systems, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Malori Evans Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back At a Glance: My Journey & Focus Who I Help: Neurodiverse Couples – Supporting relationships where one or both partners are autistic or neurodivergent, improving communication, connection, and emotional regulation Couples of All Backgrounds – Helping partners navigate differences, deepen intimacy, and resolve recurring conflicts in a way that fosters understanding and growth Parents of Neurodivergent Children – Providing guidance and support for parents raising autistic and ADHD children, with an emphasis on communication, advocacy, and self-compassion Neurodivergent Individuals – Assisting autistic and ADHD clients in self-exploration, emotional regulation, and navigating relationships and societal expectations Multicultural & Immigrant Families – Supporting mixed-culture relationships and families through acculturation challenges, language barriers, and cultural identity exploration LGBTQIA+, Polyamorous, & Kink-Affirming Clients – Offering an inclusive, judgment-free space for identity, relationship structure, and self-discovery Core Beliefs & Approach: Love Looks Different for Everyone – Relationships don’t need to fit a traditional mold; they need to work for you The Problem Is Not You, The Problem Is the Problem – Externalizing struggles to foster teamwork in couples therapy Depathologizing Neurodivergence – Your brain isn’t broken, and therapy shouldn’t try to "fix" you—it should help you thrive Communication Is a Skill, Not an Expectation – Every couple and family can build a communication system that fits their needs Honoring Identity & Intersectionality – Your culture, neurotype, sexuality, and lived experience all shape how you connect and grow in relationships Embracing the Complexity of Relationships Relationships are messy, beautiful, challenging, and deeply personal . When couples struggle, it’s rarely because they lack love—it’s because they lack understanding of each other’s unique ways of thinking, feeling, and processing the world . This is especially true for neurodiverse couples , where communication differences, sensory needs, and emotional regulation challenges can lead to misinterpretations, frustration, and disconnection . My work is centered on helping couples build a relationship that works for them— not one that fits neurotypical or societal expectations. Common Challenges in Neurodiverse Relationships: Communication Differences – One partner may prefer direct, factual conversations , while the other thrives on emotionally expressive dialogue Processing & Emotional Regulation – Conflicts escalate when one partner needs time to process, while the other needs immediate reassurance Executive Functioning Mismatches – Different organizational styles can lead to frustration around household management and responsibilities Social & Sensory Needs – One partner may need more alone time , while the other craves constant connection Misinterpretation of Love & Affection – Some express love through acts of service , while others need verbal affirmation Rather than focusing on who is "right" or "wrong" , we work on understanding and adapting to each other’s neurotypes , creating new ways of connecting that feel authentic and fulfilling . My Personal Journey: From Disconnection to Understanding I didn’t just learn about neurodiverse relationships in textbooks—I’ve lived it. When I first met my partner, I was fascinated by their brilliant mind, unique perspective, and deep emotional world . But as our relationship grew, so did the challenges. What I saw as emotional distance, they experienced as sensory overload. What I needed as verbal reassurance, they struggled to express in words. For years, we misunderstood each other’s reactions, mistaking neurological differences for personal failings . Conflict left us both feeling isolated and unseen —until we began learning how to communicate in a way that worked for our relationship, not just for one of us. Through therapy, we discovered: Love doesn’t always sound like "I love you"— sometimes, it looks like small, quiet gestures of care Space isn’t rejection—sometimes, it’s self-regulation Verbal processing isn’t better than non-verbal processing—it’s just different This experience reshaped my approach to couples therapy . I know firsthand how hard it can be to bridge these gaps—but I also know it’s absolutely possible with the right tools and support. Let’s Build a Relationship That Works for You Therapy should be a place where you feel understood, not judged . Whether you’re working through relationship struggles, parenting challenges, or personal growth, I’m here to support you in creating a life and relationships that truly reflect who you are . Neuro-affirming Practice In my view, a truly neurodiversity-affirming practice begins with being neuro-informed. By grounding our work in a deep understanding of neurodiversity, we can accompany you on your journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance with an informed and compassionate presence—one that validates the full spectrum of your traits and identities. The focus is not on counting deficits or pathologizing differences, but rather on cultivating curiosity to understand what is present and meaningful for each individual. From that perspective, my therapy and coaching work is about sharing knowledge about how others with similar neurotypes have developed supportive strategies, as well as integrating insights from emerging research and leading voices in the neurodiversity-affirming therapeutic community. Ultimately, with this approach you are neither alone nor broken, but part of a broader and valued spectrum of human experience. Specialties: Neurodiverse & Neurotypical Couples Counseling ADHD & Autism Relationship Coaching Emotional Regulation & Executive Functioning Support Complex Parenting Challenges Multicultural & Intercultural Relationships LGBTQIA+, Poly & Kink-Affirming Therapy Identity & Self-Exploration Therapy Modalities: Gottman Method (Levels 1 & 2) Narrative Therapy Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Internal Family Systems (IFS) Attachment-Based Therapy Education Touro University Worldwide – Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy University of Vermont – M.A. English Literature (2008) University of Cincinnati – B.A. English Literature (2002) License: Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #151193 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: ASD/Allistic Couples, LGBTQIA+, ADHD, Autism, Emotional Regulation, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), AuDHD, Attachment, IFS, EFT, Communication, Sex/Physical Intimacy, Emotional Intimacy, Not Accepting New Clients Lea Choi Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back Maring Higa, Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist | Neurodiverse Couples Specialist 💛 Lived Experience Shapes the Way I Work I know what it’s like to fight for connection—and to finally find it, in a way that feels real, earned, and deeply alive. Earlier in life, I was in a neurodiverse marriage that ended in divorce. It was a relationship filled with both love and difficulty, and navigating the differences in communication, processing, and emotional rhythms taught me more than any training ever could. That experience was humbling and powerful—it cracked me open to what it really means to bridge worlds. I carry forward the insight, empathy, and hard-won clarity I gained from that relationship with deep gratitude. It made me who I am today. Now, I’m over a decade into a new relationship with someone I truly consider my soulmate. But “soulmate” doesn’t mean easy. It means we’re committed to doing the work—especially the work of blending families, healing old wounds, and growing through inevitable friction. We still have our differences. We still stumble. But we keep showing up with curiosity, humility, and care. Having lived through both disconnection and deep repair, I bring a grounded, compassionate hope to couples who are struggling. I don’t offer quick fixes—I offer real tools for real relationships. 🧠 How I Work with Neurodiverse Couples I specialize in helping neurodiverse couples —whether autistic, ADHD, or both—untangle the confusing, painful cycles that often arise when two very different nervous systems and communication styles collide. I don’t see either partner as “the problem.” Instead, I help couples understand how their unique wiring, regulation needs, and processing styles impact the way they connect—or miss each other. Together, we: Slow things down so both people feel safe and heard Shift out of blame and into shared curiosity Build a relational language that works for both neurotypes Learn how to repair misattunements with compassion and intention Respect sensory needs and differences in emotional pacing My approach blends depth and structure. Some of the methods I draw from include: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for co-regulation and secure attachment Imago Therapy for exploring how early wounds shape current conflict Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help each partner access compassion for their own inner world Gottman tools for practical support around communication, rituals, and conflict management Somatic and bioenergetic work to address what's held in the body, not just the mind Every couple is different—and in neurodiverse relationships, that difference is often wider and more profound than in neurotypical ones. That’s not a deficit—it’s just reality. With the right support, it can become a strength. 🌿 The Body Knows—Especially in Neurodiverse Relationships Before I became a therapist, I practiced acupuncture for 17 years. I’ve also trained in somatic healing and bioenergetic therapy, and I bring that deep respect for the body into my work with clients every day. Neurodiverse individuals—especially autistic folks—often live disconnected from their bodies. They may struggle with interoception (the ability to sense what's going on inside) or feel overloaded by sensory input, leading them to numb out or dissociate. Others may live in a state of chronic stress without even realizing it. In my work, I help clients tune back in—gently and safely. Whether through breath, movement, somatic tracking, or body awareness tools , we reconnect to the body not as a “fix,” but as a source of wisdom and regulation. This is especially important in relationships, where the body holds unspoken tension, patterns of shutdown, and the longings we can’t always verbalize. My training and experience include: Acupuncture and holistic bodywork Somatic therapy and bioenergetic release Support for postpartum health and hormonal transitions Women’s health and trauma recovery Personal experience as an athlete, injury survivor, and circus arts performer This embodied lens helps me work with clients whose nervous systems are exhausted, disconnected, or over-activated—especially in the context of neurodiverse relationships. 🌱 Parenting Neurodivergent Children I’m a mom of two amazing kids. My daughter is 9, and my son is 14 and autistic. Parenting a neurodivergent child has taught me more than any book or training ever could. I've come to understand the sensory challenges, the meltdowns, the brilliance, the beauty, and the fatigue. What’s more, I was diagnosed with ADHD later in life, which helped make sense of so many struggles I carried silently as a child—overwhelm, internal shame, and the constant feeling of falling short in a world that didn’t match how I was wired. This personal journey allows me to support other parents—especially those navigating diagnoses, school systems, and the emotional toll of loving a child who may not be understood by the world around them. I walk alongside you not as an expert from afar, but as someone in the trenches who deeply gets it. 👨👩👧👦 Co-Parenting After Separation I’ve lived the real-world challenges of co-parenting —trying to communicate with an ex while staying grounded in your values, protecting your kids' emotional safety, and managing the logistics of schedules, boundaries, and big feelings. Co-parenting can feel impossible at times, especially when there’s unresolved hurt or different parenting philosophies. I work with clients to develop r ealistic, compassionate strategies for communication, boundary-setting, and conflict de-escalation. My goal is to help you shift from power struggles to problem-solving, so your children get the best of both parents. 🏡 Blended Families: A New Blueprint Blending families isn't just about combining households—it’s about building a completely new system with its own rhythms, rituals, and rules. As someone who’s part of a blended family, I know the loyalty binds, the role confusion, and the emotional landmines that can appear unexpectedly. There’s grief for what was, hope for what could be, and lots of tension in the “in between.” I help blended families navigate common challenges like stepparent roles, co-parenting across households, discipline differences, and how to build connection when trust is still forming. Together, we create a new blueprint that honors everyone involved—including the kids. 🎨 And Just for Fun I’m endlessly curious and deeply creative. I love women’s soccer, making music, and getting lost in hands-on projects. I find beauty in the messiness of being human and believe that humor, creativity, and embodiment are essential parts of healing. Education & Clinical Training M.A. in Counseling Psychology (Marriage and Family Therapy) – National University M.S. in Oriental Medicine – Pacific College of Oriental Medicine Certified Bioenergetics Therapist – Southern California Institute of Bioenergetics (in progress) Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #145908 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Trained in: Somatic Therapy & Nervous System Regulation Internal Family Systems (IFS) Trauma-Informed Couples Work Fertility, Pregnancy, and Postpartum Mental Health Women's Health & Holistic Medicine Acupuncture and Embodiment Practices Podcast Creator & Host: The Messy Middle (2016–2021) – Personal growth and emotional healing Body Talk (2024–Present) – Exploring somatic therapy, mind-body connection, and holistic wellness Specialty Areas: Autism, ADHD, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Blended Families, Somatic Therapies, IFS, EFT, Trauma, Neurodiverse Couples, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Maring Higa Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Stephen is a creative, dedicated, and passionate therapist with a background in behavioral health, education, and social services. He has wide-ranging experience working with people in all stages of life, helping them to become happier and healthier as individuals, in couples, and in families. He integrates art therapy to enable couples to connect emotionally and intimately. Strength, resiliency, and connection are essential elements of a lasting, satisfying, and harmonious relationship. Stephen believes that these are the building blocks for healing, forgiveness, and positive progress. He provides a safe, nurturing, and judgement-free space where couples can explore resolutions to a current problem, prevent an exacerbation of problems, or simply provide support for a couple experiencing a period of transition or increased stress. Stephen facilitates the discovery of fresh energy to create a healthy emotional connection. His approach is nurturing , thus enabling clients to engage with the healing power of their own personal symbols. This entails fostering self-agency to empower them to leverage their positive qualities in order to become more free, powerful, happy, and healthy. In addition to strength-based work, his therapeutic approach is trauma-informed in order to support clients in their process of trauma integration and healing. He provides treatment that activates the body, mind, and brain with expressive methods that are engaging and empowering. Stephen has worked with people of diverse culture and ethnicity. He brings the ability to relate to clients with authentic knowledge and sensitivity to culture and ethnicity. In particular, he has experience with interracial couples. NEURODIVERSE RELATIONSHIPS: Expertise Stephen offers expertise in supporting your unique neurodiverse relationship. He empathizes with the often-challenging themes that give rise to relationship stress: the dearth of emotional reciprocity and the challenge of maintaining meaningful balance with your partner and others in your life. Stephen provides a safe space enable you to share your feelings and expectations. He believes the willingness to improve communication and to be open to be open to managing expectations and finding solutions becomes the foundation of increasing trust in your relationship. Compassion and Insight Stephen presents a compassionate and understanding approach to neurodiverse couples’ therapy. This enables you both to gain fresh understanding and perspective. He helps nurture awareness in each partner of their own individual patterns, from these insights he invites adjustments to enable both partners to get more out of their relationship. The neurotypical partner gains insight that the neurodiverse retreat into safe behaviors and routine, is not a rejection but is a consequence of the Defense Mode. The defense mode being one hallmark coping strategy of the neurodiverse individual. Stephen supports the neurotypical partner process feelings of abandonment, frustration, and grief. Catharsis and forgiveness in both partners enable openness to positive feelings and increased self-esteem. Making Sense of Neurodiversity It is important that you both make sense of your neurodivergent partner’s behaviors. You may have pondered why anxiety can be a problem for your neurodiverse partner. Stephen shows you how anxiety can lead to impulsivity, melt-downs, rage, and withdrawal, all negatively impacting the relationship. More importantly he supports you both to strategize, problem-solve and better connect to make progress on the challenges to your special relationship. Fresh Perspectives By offering a fresh perspective, Stephen helps you both positively revaluate your relationship. He offers structure and effective tools to use, this enables reengagement and motivation for your partnership. Such understanding enables collaboration to use your combined strengths and resilience. Stephen believes that neurodiverse people have numerous assets such as loyalty, honesty, intelligence, strong values, the ability to work hard, generosity, and humor. He is passionate in using these qualities to bring you closer together. Communication Stephen supports effective communication and step-by-step actions to grow the loving connection you both deserve. This sensitive, nurturing process, enables neurodiverse individuals and their partners to feel supported in dealing with their communication challenges. The discontent in neurodiverse partnerships that comes from the lack of initiation of connection will be assuaged by enabling you both to safely verbalize your needs. Stephen’s will work with you on a relationship schedule. Your relationship schedule will ensure quality time is set aside to meet both your needs. Other areas of focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): Children Couples’ relationships Separation and Divorce Parent and child conflicts Depression and Anxiety Trauma and Stress Grief and loss and shame Forgiveness and Self-forgiveness Modalities: Internal Family Systems, Emotion Focused Therapy, Jungian Therapy, Humanistic Therapy, Trauma-Informed Therapy Clients: Couples and Families, Adults, Adolescents, Children License: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT #149714 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc. Specialty Areas: Autism, Neurodiverse Couples, Emotional Intimacy, Trauma-Informed, Communication, Internal Family Systems, Emotion Focused Therapy, Accepting New Individual Clients Only Stephen Robertson Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Living Neurodiversity I live in a neurodiverse family every day. My husband is on the Autism Spectrum and received his diagnosis later in life. I am so proud of my 26-year marriage and the fact that we were able to reconcile after a divorce and remarry. My two children are also on the Spectrum . They have taught me how differences can be intensely beautiful and frustrating at the same time. Having a neurodiverse marriage and parenting my preteen son and adult daughter give me a unique point of view to better understand and empathize with my clients and their challenges in a way that simply cannot be taught in books. Podcast Listen to Liz discuss Neurodiversity on the Neurodiverse Love Podcast Understanding You “When you meet one person with Autism, you’ve met one person with Autism.” - Dr. Stephen Shore, autistic professor, author, Everyone is different, every couple is unique. As a therapist, my goal is to understand you and your distinct relationship. Just because I have personal experience with neurodiversity does not mean I am automatically an expert on your relationship. I aim to learn who you are and how you relate to your partner in your own unique way. I can provide a safe, non-judgmental, empathetic space for couples to come together on a healing journey and work towards accomplishing their relationship goals. Over time, a couple’s relationship may start to break down when neurodivergent differences turn into dysfunctional patterns resulting in disagreements, loneliness, hopelessness, and pain. The good news is that there is hope, I help couples navigate their relational patterns, bridge communication gaps, and facilitate an understanding and honoring of the couple’s differences. Neurotypical Partner Challenges As an NT partner myself, I empathize with the pain that can come from communication break down and misunderstandings in a neurodiverse relationship. In the past, I felt that no one understood what I was going through, including therapists who lacked neurodiverse training or experience. This only compounded my pain and thoughts that my marriage could not get any better. My spouse and I have since learned how to make our marriage work in our own way. I understand him and his needs the best way that I can and vice versa . For this reason, I am passionate about helping couples do the same. I can offer a beacon of hope for couples because I know change within a relationship is possible. Neurodiverse Couple Challenges There are some unique aspects of how the AS brain processes and expresses information that differs from the NT brain; although this may bring tremendous advantages in certain areas of life, it can make relating to others and everyday activities difficult and stressful for both partners. Topics which are common in neurodiverse couples that I work with include: Alexithymia - a person has difficulty identifying and expressing emotions Executive functioning capabilities - cognitive processes Sensory issues - identifying when AS partner feels overstimulated Masking- AS partner has high-stress levels while trying to “pass” as neurotypical Transitions - AS partner has high-stress levels transitioning to different topics or activities ·Communication - both partners misunderstand each other’s behavior and needs Defense mode - understanding flight, fight, or freeze mode and how to cope Past emotional wounds - AS partner not feeling accepted, being bullied, or internalizing negative labels from the neurotypical society (trauma) Empathy - AS partner may struggle to understand how their partner is feeling These aspects of the Neurodiverse partner do not make that person good or bad. My job is to help you bridge the gaps that exist between you ; in emotional processing, getting things done (executive function), managing the world you live in (sensory issues), making transitions, communicating, reacting to each other (with less defensiveness), and healing wounds. Neurodiverse Parenting Parenting is not easy! Perhaps you, your spouse, or your children are on the Autism Spectrum, and you feel stuck, frustrated, sad, lost, and don’t know where to turn for help. I have over 24 years of personal experience with raising Autistic children alongside my AS spouse. Neurodiverse families have parenting issues specific to them that an experienced therapist is trained to treat. I work with couples to cope with the complexities of parenting. As parents, we all want our children to be successful, happy, and healthy. Some families have the added stress of co-parenting in a blended family or parallel parenting. I am here to listen, understand, and coach parents to navigate high conflict situations, build their parenting skills, and create a family environment where each family member can thrive. Whether your goals are to reduce conflict, reduce stress, or increase communication; I guide parents through techniques aimed at building a stronger relationship with their children and creating the results desired. Education and Licensing I am a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist and a Neurodiverse Couples Coach. I earned my master’s degree in Clinical Psychology from Azusa Pacific University (APU). My professional career is dedicated to helping neurodiverse couples to heal emotional wounds, improve communication, reduce conflict, and increase intimacy. Areas of Focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): General Couples Therapy Intimacy, Sex Affair Recovery Anger Management Divorce Life Transitions Families including Parenting, Co-Parenting, Blended Families Depression, Anxiety, Mood Disorders, Personality Disorders Clients Couples, Families, Men, Women Modalities Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Narrative Therapy, Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), Person-Centered Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Family System Therapy, Positive Psychology, Trauma-informed Therapy License Registered Associate Marriage & Family Therapist, AMFT #133330 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc. Specialty Areas: ADHD, Autism, Discernment, Internal Family Systems, Neurodiverse Couples, ND at Work, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Emotional Intimacy, Accepting New Individual Clients Only Liz McClanahan Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back About: Dr. Motro has made working with neurodiverse community the centerpiece of his life. He has extensive personal experiences with neurodiversity and believes that typical couples counseling falls far short for neurodiverse couples. Accordingly, he has dedicated his practice to providing life-changing counseling for these special but often misunderstood couples. His background includes the following: he spent his earlier work life in technology and then chose a second career in helping others, he is the founder and clinical director of the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center where he collaborates with other therapists equally dedicated to the neurodiverse community. he has collaborated with his team to develop specialized tools to assist neurodiverse couples, he serves as an adjunct graduate school psychology professor where he has incorporated neurodiverse couples counseling into the teaching curriculum, he is a clinical supervisor of other neurodiverse couples therapists, he serves on non-profit boards including, New Path Couples Therapy and Therapy in Motion. he has been married 40 years and the proud parent of adult children , and he has received specialized couples training at the Master's & Doctoral levels. His interest in neurodiverse couples is rooted in his personal life, his prior work in technology, and because his psychology practice is based in Silicon Valley, a neurodiversity hot spot. NEURODIVERSE COUPLES: Most neurodiverse couples start off woefully uninformed about their differences and how to support and accept each other. This misinformation leads to misunderstanding, which eventually morphs into the belief that the other partner is purposely cruel or simply uncaring. Emotional walls come up and intimacy fades and then dies. The most important part of our work in therapy is to free you from this painful blame and shame cycle. We work to gradually reframe how you understand and see each other, reshaping your patterns, and allowing a new relationship to blossom. You can read more on his approach to Neurodiversity at: https://www.harrymotro.com/therapy-for-neurodiverse-couples . Other areas of focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): General Couples Therapy Affair Recovery Sex addiction Modalities: Trauma-focused Neurodiverse Couples Therapy , Emotion Focused Therapy, Imago Therapy, Gottman, Person-Centered, Existential, Couples-Based CBT, Behavioral, Internal Family Systems, Experiential, Positive Psychology Clients: Couples and Families only License: California / LMFT53452 Contact Harry Specialty Areas: Christian, ND at Work, Discernment, Internal Family Systems, Emotion Focused Therapy Harry Motro Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Joseph Kaiser | Neurodiverse Couples Specialist My Story Born and raised in the Redwoods of Northern California, I spent two decades in the advertising industry as a creative director, art director, and copywriter collaborating on regional, national and global campaigns. As a creative director nothing was more thrilling then collaborating with other creatives. Nurturing diverse perspectives and personalities to create high impact campaigns was a source of great personal and professional inspiration. Later I founded two small businesses; one in tech accessories and another manufacturing active toys developed for neurodiverse, neurotypical, and other children with special needs. I am a US Patent holder and was honored with a Silver Clio Award 2002, Bronze Clio 2002 and published in Graphis Design Annual 2004 and American Graphic Design 2003. My goal is to empower growth through the use of dynamic evidence-based theories and therapeutic rapport. Though I love my work with individuals, I am particularly passionate about couples work and how it can lead to individual well being and familial harmony. For better or worse, our earliest programming teaches us what we think marriage 'should' be. The truth is, marriage is what we make of it. We are the creators and, although painful at times, it can also inspire and empower. I am a firm believer that people heal and grow in connection to others. Main Areas of Focus Neurodiverse Couples Some couples have yet to realize they are neurodiverse. When they finally do, a diagnosis can feel like a relief after years of pain and contention. One common complaint from a partner may be that they are being "gaslighted” by the neurodiverse partner; accused of being irrational and not having their experience or feelings validated. The neurodiverse partner can feel overwhelmed and misunderstood. Common differences in communication are logical vs. emotional, concrete vs. abstract, absolute vs. relative, and avoidant vs. insistent. The first step is to help couples identify just how differences in their wiring affect their interaction cycles. Next is to break blame and shame patterns and find acceptance in differences through a structured step by step process that helps you rediscover love and acceptance. Couples De-escalation and healthy communication are a crucial place to start but only one dimension of couples work. Uncovering deeper unspoken truths and patterns by creating an environment of trust and acceptance is at the core of the healing process. Exploring and validating each partner's unique experience is essential to connecting. I help clients work past blame and shame. Major life changes like the loss of a job, the arrival of a child, or grief and loss, can bring about a shift in dynamics. My goal is to help couples grow together instead of apart while retaining their own identity. I provide a structured approach to couples therapy using elements of EFT, Gottman Method, CBT, Attachment Theory, Relational Life Therapy, Internal Family Systems and more. Affair Recovery Unfortunately, affairs transcend race, culture, sexuality, age, and socio-economic background. Whether it be emotional or sexual, infidelity is traumatic. The betrayed partner can develop depression, anxiety, and symptoms similar to PTSD while the unfaithful partner can be plagued with guilt. My first step is crisis management to stabilize your lives so the therapeutic work can begin. Once the immediate crisis has settled, the real work begins. If partners are willing, compassionate, and persistent, it can be an opportunity for tremendous growth. Affairs may be a reflection of long-standing wounds or struggles that pre-dated the marriage as well as patterns that developed during the relationship. Understanding why the affair occurred is critical to getting on a productive path to affair recovery. Using a step-by-step process, I will compassionately steer couples through this difficult minefield. Parenting And Co-Parenting It is in the best interest of their children for parents to move from an adversarial relationship to a cooperative and collaborative one. After 15 years of parenting and co-parenting of his own, I leverage my training and personal experience to help couples develop co-parenting plans and maintain a safe, secure, nurturing environment for their children to thrive. When done successfully, co-parenting counseling can improve the child’s confidence and self-esteem. Individuals As a compassionate professional, I am committed to helping individuals find healing, growth, and relationship transformation. This begins with building rapport which I believe is the wellspring of effective psychotherapy. I work with challenges such as depression, stress or anxiety, self-esteem, and career transition. Whether it is the cycle of life, health crisis, a move, a loss, relational struggles or change of circumstances, we can become overwhelmed. All too often there is a confluence of things that happen all at once. We thought we could handle it all but our body and psyche say no. I have a compassionate, accepting, curious approach that melds joining the client with various therapeutic methodologies and evidence-based practices. Other Areas of Focus Neurodiverse Couples Therapy & Coaching Trauma informed therapy Depression & Anxiety Treatment Life transitions High stress jobs Discernment Counseling Trauma-informed Therapy Pre-marital Counseling Depression and Anxiety Grief, loss, and shame Clients Couples of all ages Couples of all ethnic backgrounds Adult Individuals. Men, Women High achievers Modalities Internal Family Systems (IFS) Emotionally Focuses Therapy (EFT) Narrative Therapy Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) Person-Centered Therapy Gottman Method Family Systems Positive Psychology Attachment-based Culturally Sensitive Existential Family Systems Humanistic Mindfulness Motivational License Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT #151271 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc. Specialty Areas: Addiction, Discernment, Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Sex/Physical Intimacy, Assessment, LGBTQIA+, Neurodiverse Couples, Autism, ADHD, Blended Families, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Internal Family Systems, Eating & Autism, ND at Work, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Joseph Kaiser Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you improve your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back Education & Specialties: Neuro-Inclusive Nourishment Specialist Bachelor of Arts in Psychology, Aurora University Certified Life Coach, Universal Coach Institute Client Focus: Neurodiverse women Individuals with Autism, ADHD, Highly Sensitive Persons Neurodiverse clients with eating struggles Neurodiverse couples Coaching Modalities: Solution-focused strategies Action planning Mindfulness techniques Motivational interviewing Journaling Cognitive-behavioral techniques My Story Hello, I'm Cassie Clayton. Since 2016, I've dedicated my career to supporting individuals on their journeys to recovery from eating disorders and mental health challenges. My path began as a Recovery Coach, inspired by my own experiences navigating recovery. Recognizing the profound impact of connection and support from those with lived experience, I've committed to helping others share their stories and find healing. Supporting Neurodiverse Couples At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, I specialize in working individually with a partner experiencing eating issues that affect their relationship. Understanding the intricate dynamics of neurodiverse partnerships, I provide tailored support to address these challenges. With your consent, I collaborate closely with your neurodiverse couples counselor to ensure our efforts are aligned, promoting healthier eating habits and enhancing relationship satisfaction. Neuro-inclusive Nourishment I am deeply passionate about empowering individuals to feel seen, heard, and supported without judgment. My empathetic, non-judgmental approach fosters an environment where you can thrive, receiving the encouragement and guidance needed to move forward. I specialize in helping clients articulate their visions, set attainable goals, overcome obstacles, and collaboratively develop actionable plans. In addition to one-on-one support, I've facilitated outpatient and Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) therapeutic support groups, creating safe spaces for clients to connect, process emotions, and reduce eating disorder behaviors. I prioritize meeting clients where they are and assessing their unique needs, ensuring that each individual receives tailored support throughout their recovery journey. Personalized Care In a world often dominated by diet culture and unrealistic expectations, I advocate for a personalized approach to healing one’s relationship with food and body image. I celebrate the uniqueness of each individual, understanding that there is no 'one size fits all' solution in recovery. With extensive experience working with young adults and adults facing body image issues and disordered eating, I am dedicated to helping you navigate your path to wellness. Whether your struggles have been ongoing or more recent, you deserve compassionate support and understanding. I invite you to share your story with me. Together, we can explore meaningful steps toward your recovery—because even the smallest steps can lead to significant change. Specialty Areas: Eating & Autism, Communication, Autism, ADHD, Emotional Intimacy Cassie Clayton Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Alyssa Bayus Neurodiverse Couples Specialist | Associate Marriage and Family Therapist My Story Childhood: Reading the Room Early My parents divorced when I was born, so I grew up moving between homes, rhythms, and emotional climates. From an early age I learned to listen closely—to notice the small cues, the shifts in tone, the unspoken needs. That constant translating between worlds became its own kind of training, teaching me how to understand and attune to the nervous systems around me. It’s from that place of lived experience that this work first took root. Marriage: Lessons from the Inside I spent more than twenty years in a marriage that became a deep teacher for me—showing me so much about attachment, conflict, boundaries , and the tender truth that real change only lasts when both people are willing to look inward and try new patterns together. T hose years softened and steadied me. They made me practical, grounded, and clear about what truly helps people grow and stay connected. And when that marriage ended, the divorce became its own initiation. I had to start again—slowly, honestly, and with a courage I didn’t know I had. That experience didn’t harden me; it expanded me. It taught me that rebuilding is possible, that beginning again can be an act of wisdom, and that life after loss can be deeply alive and meaningful. Motherhood: Immersed in Neurodiversity I’m the parent of three wonderful kids who each learn and relate differently. ADHD is the loudest drumbeat in our home— time blindness, task initiation, emotional intensity, sleep shifts, school demands , and the constant need to right-size expectations. We’ve chased accurate diagnoses, weighed medication trade-offs, and rebuilt routines as they grew. Autism is also part of our extended family, so I understand the sensory and communication layers that shape daily life. I don’t treat neurodiversity as theory; I live it. How I Help Neurodiverse Couples I work with couples where one or both partners are autistic or ADHD. The goal is simple: reduce friction, increase connection, and build systems that fit your actual brains. What we map together Communication styles and processing speeds (literal vs. inferential, fast vs. deliberate). Sensory profiles (sound, light, touch, pacing) and how they affect conflict and intimacy. Executive-function load: who’s cueing, who’s tracking, and what regularly gets dropped. Stress cycles: masking, overwhelm, shutdown, and how each partner signals “I’m done.” What we build Effective rituals for connection, conflict repair, and de-escalation that either partner can start. Division-of-labor plans tied to energy and executive function, not wishful thinking. Conversation “lane markers”: slow starts, structured turns, timeouts that don’t feel like rejection. Sensory-informed intimacy plans (pressure/tempo/context/aftercare) that make closeness easier to reach. Burnout buffers : predictable recovery windows, transition cues, and re-entry scripts. A shared language for differences so misunderstandings stop turning into character judgments. How we work in session Short, plain language; concrete skills; measurable follow-through. One page of “what we’re trying” each week—small, repeatable, testable. Accountability and empathy in the same room. Methods I draw from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) The Gottman Method Neurodiversity-informed psychoeducation and skills training Habit and routine design based on executive-function science Results you can expect Fewer blowups, faster resets. Less guessing, more predictable connection. Systems that survive real weeks, not fantasy ones. Parenting Support for ADHD and Autism Parenting neurodivergent kids is a moving target. I help you trade shame and “shoulds” for fit and function. Core tools we focus on: Executive-function scaffolds: externalize plans (visual schedules, timers, “next two steps” lists), create “ready states,” and use time anchors to cut decision fatigue. Motivation and momentum: short horizons, immediate feedback, two-minute starts, novelty cycles without turning life into a prize hunt. Regulation and meltdowns: map heat zones, co-regulate first, solve later; keep debriefs brief and blame-free. Sensory and environment: identify triggers, build predictable retreats, and translate “won’t” into “can’t yet under these conditions.” School/IEP/504 : write short, winnable requests; design a weekly homework rhythm that anticipates energy dips. Family load: rotate the “primary executive” role, write silent defaults (what happens if nobody cues), and use micro-handoffs. Outcome Calmer days, more follow-through, and systems you can keep when life gets busy. Money and Relationships Before becoming a therapist, I worked as a financial planner and advisor. The biggest problems weren’t math—they were meaning: safety, control, freedom, fairness, respect. Executive-function differences and processing mismatches add extra friction. I will help you lower it. What we do Build a shared language : turn “too much spending” into specific thresholds, categories, and timeframes. Separate values from methods so you stop arguing about tools and start aligning on what matters. Protect the relationship: clear roles, cool-off rules for high-stakes purchases, and scheduled repair talks. Result Money stops running the relationship. You get calm, clarity, and a plan that sticks. Sexual Addiction and Betrayal Although this bio centers neurodiversity, I also work with couples facing sexual acting out and betrayal using a structured pathway that prioritizes safety for the betrayed partner and accountability for the acting-out partner. If that’s your situation, ask about my dedicated track. Faith and Mindfulness I was raised in both Catholic and Protestant traditions and now consider myself spiritual. I value mindfulness and welcome couples from all faith backgrounds—and none. Your values lead the work. Personal Interests Golf keeps me present. Pickleball brings energy and fun. Horseback riding sharpens the nonverbal listening I use every day in therapy. I have fostered over 50 dogs and I love all animals. Education and Training M.A., Marriage and Family Therapy, National University, 2009 B.A., Sociology, Ithaca College, 1994 License & Employment Information Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT #158340 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers If You’re Ready If you want less friction and more connection—with systems that fit your brains and your life—I’m ready when you are. Specialty Areas: Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients, Neurodiverse Couples, Emotional Intimacy, Communication, Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Emotion Focused Therapy Alyssa Bayus Take an Autism Test