Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Joseph Kaiser | Neurodiverse Couples Specialist My Story Born and raised in the Redwoods of Northern California, I spent two decades in the advertising industry as a creative director, art director, and copywriter collaborating on regional, national and global campaigns. As a creative director nothing was more thrilling then collaborating with other creatives. Nurturing diverse perspectives and personalities to create high impact campaigns was a source of great personal and professional inspiration. Later I founded two small businesses; one in tech accessories and another manufacturing active toys developed for neurodiverse, neurotypical, and other children with special needs. I am a US Patent holder and was honored with a Silver Clio Award 2002, Bronze Clio 2002 and published in Graphis Design Annual 2004 and American Graphic Design 2003. My goal is to empower growth through the use of dynamic evidence-based theories and therapeutic rapport. Though I love my work with individuals, I am particularly passionate about couples work and how it can lead to individual well being and familial harmony. For better or worse, our earliest programming teaches us what we think marriage 'should' be. The truth is, marriage is what we make of it. We are the creators and, although painful at times, it can also inspire and empower. I am a firm believer that people heal and grow in connection to others. Main Areas of Focus Neurodiverse Couples Some couples have yet to realize they are neurodiverse. When they finally do, a diagnosis can feel like a relief after years of pain and contention. One common complaint from a partner may be that they are being "gaslighted” by the neurodiverse partner; accused of being irrational and not having their experience or feelings validated. The neurodiverse partner can feel overwhelmed and misunderstood. Common differences in communication are logical vs. emotional, concrete vs. abstract, absolute vs. relative, and avoidant vs. insistent. The first step is to help couples identify just how differences in their wiring affect their interaction cycles. Next is to break blame and shame patterns and find acceptance in differences through a structured step by step process that helps you rediscover love and acceptance. Couples De-escalation and healthy communication are a crucial place to start but only one dimension of couples work. Uncovering deeper unspoken truths and patterns by creating an environment of trust and acceptance is at the core of the healing process. Exploring and validating each partner's unique experience is essential to connecting. I help clients work past blame and shame. Major life changes like the loss of a job, the arrival of a child, or grief and loss, can bring about a shift in dynamics. My goal is to help couples grow together instead of apart while retaining their own identity. I provide a structured approach to couples therapy using elements of EFT, Gottman Method, CBT, Attachment Theory, Relational Life Therapy, Internal Family Systems and more. Affair Recovery Unfortunately, affairs transcend race, culture, sexuality, age, and socio-economic background. Whether it be emotional or sexual, infidelity is traumatic. The betrayed partner can develop depression, anxiety, and symptoms similar to PTSD while the unfaithful partner can be plagued with guilt. My first step is crisis management to stabilize your lives so the therapeutic work can begin. Once the immediate crisis has settled, the real work begins. If partners are willing, compassionate, and persistent, it can be an opportunity for tremendous growth. Affairs may be a reflection of long-standing wounds or struggles that pre-dated the marriage as well as patterns that developed during the relationship. Understanding why the affair occurred is critical to getting on a productive path to affair recovery. Using a step-by-step process, I will compassionately steer couples through this difficult minefield. Parenting And Co-Parenting It is in the best interest of their children for parents to move from an adversarial relationship to a cooperative and collaborative one. After 15 years of parenting and co-parenting of his own, I leverage my training and personal experience to help couples develop co-parenting plans and maintain a safe, secure, nurturing environment for their children to thrive. When done successfully, co-parenting counseling can improve the child’s confidence and self-esteem. Individuals As a compassionate professional, I am committed to helping individuals find healing, growth, and relationship transformation. This begins with building rapport which I believe is the wellspring of effective psychotherapy. I work with challenges such as depression, stress or anxiety, self-esteem, and career transition. Whether it is the cycle of life, health crisis, a move, a loss, relational struggles or change of circumstances, we can become overwhelmed. All too often there is a confluence of things that happen all at once. We thought we could handle it all but our body and psyche say no. I have a compassionate, accepting, curious approach that melds joining the client with various therapeutic methodologies and evidence-based practices. Other Areas of Focus Neurodiverse Couples Therapy & Coaching Trauma informed therapy Depression & Anxiety Treatment Life transitions High stress jobs Discernment Counseling Trauma-informed Therapy Pre-marital Counseling Depression and Anxiety Grief, loss, and shame Clients Couples of all ages Couples of all ethnic backgrounds Adult Individuals. Men, Women High achievers Modalities Internal Family Systems (IFS) Emotionally Focuses Therapy (EFT) Narrative Therapy Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) Person-Centered Therapy Gottman Method Family Systems Positive Psychology Attachment-based Culturally Sensitive Existential Family Systems Humanistic Mindfulness Motivational License Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT #151271 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc. Specialty Areas: Addiction, Discernment, Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Sex/Physical Intimacy, Assessment, LGBTQIA+, Neurodiverse Couples, Autism, ADHD, Blended Families, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Internal Family Systems, Eating & Autism, ND at Work, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Joseph Kaiser Take an Autism Test

< Back Kimberly Hawks Neurodiverse Couples Specialist | Associate Marriage and Family Therapist My Approach to Therapy Welcome! I believe neurodiverse couples deserve understanding, practical tools, and compassionate support to navigate differences, repair ruptures, and strengthen their bond. Therapy with me centers on how you relate to yourself and how you connect with your partner, so we can co-create healthier patterns that respect your individual needs and the realities of your neurodiverse relationship. Together, we will design a clear roadmap with actionable steps for communication, shared growth, healing, and resilience —helping you navigate conflict, feel heard, cultivate compassion, and deepen your connection. M y Journey: Neurodiversity in Parenting, Partnership, and Life I’m a wife and mom in a neurodiverse family. Our three kids each have different neurotypes, my husband has ADHD, and I’m a highly sensitive person (HSP). As a couple, our different wiring impacts our parenting approaches, emotional needs, communication styles, and ways of showing and feeling love. Over the years, we’ve navigated the ups and downs of raising children, managing serious medical challenges for one of our children while keeping life “normal” for our other two, and juggling work and travel. In times of crisis and busy-ness, it’s easy to slip into survival mode and stop connecting—we’ve learned that relationships, especially between partners with different neurotypes, take intentional daily practice . Small, consistent efforts to stay attuned, adapt, and repair have strengthened our bond and our family rhythm. Children thrive when their parents are connected and in love. This experience informs how I support couples: empathy, practical strategies, curiosity, and consistent practice can make real, lasting change in relationships. Parenting Through Neurodiversity and Serious Medical Issues I’ve done the hospital all-nighters, medication schedules, insurance calls, and constant “Plan B.” I’ve navigated children with different needs, and when HSP and ADHD come into conflict at the least opportune times—and learned that clear communication and small repeatable routines steady a household better than one-off heroics. Families don’t need perfection; they need nervous-system regulation, aligned expectations, clear boundaries, and repair that actually sticks . Adoption, Attachment, and Complex Family Systems I was adopted as an infant and raised with split custody after my adoptive parents divorced. My mom came out as a lesbian when I was in first grade and built a large, loving blended family with her partner (now wife of 20+ years), her children, and my step-sister from a prior relationship. My dad remarried, and in that home I was an only child. As an adult, I reunited with my birth mother. Living between different households—and then doing the attachment work of reunification—taught me that belonging is built through safety, consistency, and trust , not titles. I bring those attachment lessons into therapy: predictable care, listening, straight talk, and small promises kept. Married 25 Years- Staying Connected My husband and I met in college on the East Coast, and in 2025 we celebrated 25 years of marriage. He was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult–learning about his neurotype, and understanding more about my sensitivity, enabled us to break old cycles of recurrent arguments, missed cues, and shutdown/flare patterns. Couples counseling has been key to our growth and staying connected , especially during medical crises and times of stress—prioritizing repair over being “right,” using clear scripts on hard days, and protecting time for intimacy and connection when everything else feels unstable. This experience informs my work as a couples therapist, helping partners navigate differences, improve communication, and strengthen their connection. Parent Coaching and School Support Before becoming a therapist, I helped to launch two schools –a preschool and a K-8 school, where I was deeply involved in school administration and admissions. That experience matters. I understand how administrators make decisions, how to make sure a school is a good fit for a child, and how to advocate for the support that each child needs and deserves through collaboration and IEP/504 processes. As a therapist, I bring experience working in elementary school settings and was honored with a California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) award in 2025 for my collaborative approach to working with neurodiverse children, their families, schools, and other specialists. Mind–Body Wellness Trail running with friends keeps me balanced—it’s nervous-system regulation in motion. Cooking with my family, whether we’re making homemade pasta or tackling creative kitchen challenges, brings joy and connection. Time with friends and family restores perspective, and reading keeps me curious. Playing with our golden retriever, going on dates with my husband, jumping on the trampoline with my son, and hanging out with my teen daughters make life deeply meaningful. These moments remind me that nurturing our closest relationships matters most, especially when life feels full and demanding. Neurodiverse Couples: Repair That Works Under Real-Life Stress Neurodiverse couples often love each other deeply but trip the same wires: intent vs. impact mismatches, processing-speed differences, sensory overload, executive-function gaps, and uneven social needs. When you add a child’s medical needs or school crisis, the bond can slide into logistics-only mode and resentment. What we build together: Shared language for neurotype differences. Clear, non-pathologizing terms that reduce blame and make needs discussable. Repair first, then reasons. Ownership before context; repair scripts that fit your brains and your stress window. Executive-function scaffolds for the relationship. Time anchors, transition plans, decision trees, and externalized reminders so love isn’t held hostage by working memory. Sensory-aware intimacy. Pressure-free closeness, pacing, and predictable rituals that make connection safe again. Conflict that ends. Shorter fights, calmer recoveries, and agreements you can actually keep during busy weeks or medical flares. Bottom line: we design routines and communication playbooks that hold under pressure—because that’s when you need them. Parenting Neurodiverse Children (Including Chronic Illness and 2e) Parenting neurodiverse kids is both beautiful and challenging. You’re balancing strengths with support needs, independence with safety, and your own burnout due to high demands. I help you: Stabilize the nervous system at home (yours and your child’s) before layering new skills. Build routines that survive chaos, using smallest viable steps and visual anchors. Translate assessments into accommodations schools will actually implement. Support 2e learners so giftedness doesn’t mask disability—or vice versa. Cope with chronic illness : pacing, grief, medical advocacy, and sibling care that doesn’t disappear. Manage dynamics between siblings of different neurotypes, fostering understanding, fairness, and connection. Align as parents to reduce conflict and create consistency, helping children feel safe and supported. Keep the couple strong so the family system can thrive. Blended Families (Informed by My Own Upbringing) Growing up across two homes—with different rules, values, and cultures—taught me how identity and belonging form in motion. In session, we clarify roles, set respectful boundaries, and create rituals that include everyone without erasing anyone. Small, predictable gestures build trust faster than good intentions. Working With Adult Adoptees Adults who were adopted in infancy or childhood often experience unique challenges around attachment, identity, and belonging. In my work with adult adoptees, I help clients understand how early adoption experiences can shape patterns of closeness and trust with partners and children, as well as how these dynamics may influence parenting. Together, we explore the impact of trauma, loss, and questions of identity while building tools for authentic connection and open conversations about adoption within relationships and families. Treatment Modalities- An Integrative Approach There’s no single approach that works for everyone. I take time to get to know you—both as individuals and as a couple—and tailor my work to meet your unique needs and goals. I draw from a range of therapeutic modalities and the latest evidence-based research to best support your growth and connection: Foundational Approaches: CBT, ACT, Humanistic/Person-Centered, Solution-Focused/Brief, Psychodynamic, Behavioral and Social Thinking interventions. Mind–Body & Experiential: Mindfulness, somatic-informed work, expressive arts to help clients connect with and regulate their internal experiences. Relationship & Systems: Family Systems Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Relational Life Therapy (RLT) to support connection and relational growth. Trauma-Informed: I use a trauma-informed lens in all of my work, creating a safe, attuned, and empowering environment to help clients process experiences and build resilience. Collaboration: I coordinate with medical teams, schools, specialists, and educational consultants when it supports the work and the client’s goals. Education Bachelor of Arts , Psychology — Boston College Master of Science , Counseling Psychology — Dominican University of California License & Employment Information Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #156426 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients, Neurodiverse Couples, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Trauma-Informed, CBT, Attachment, ACT, Blended Families, Communication, Emotional Intimacy Kimberly Hawks Take an Autism Test

There are a lot of words floating around these days. HSP. Autism. ADHD. Sensory. Empath. Neurodivergent. It can feel confusing, overwhelming—even invalidating. What do these labels actually mean? And more importantly… what do they mean for you ? That’s where we come in. Our job is to give you the tools to figure it out—with clarity, compassion, and zero pressure. You might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) if… You feel things extra deeply. You notice what others miss. You get overstimulated easily—and you need real downtime to recover. Does this sound familiar? If so, you're not alone. Roughly 20% of people are Highly Sensitive. Want to learn more? Start here if you're in a relationship: Understanding the HSP in a Relationship Start here if you're exploring it on your own: What It Means to Be an HSP But what if there's more going on than HSP? HSP traits can overlap with autism and ADHD. That doesn’t mean they’re the same—but it does mean they’re easy to confuse. Autism vs. HSP: Both experience sensory overwhelm. But for autistic individuals, it’s often about processing difficulties . For HSPs, it’s more about emotional depth —a sensitivity to meaning, nuance, and relational energy. ADHD vs. HSP: Both can feel overwhelmed in busy environments. But ADHD is often marked by inattention or impulsivity . HSPs are more likely to feel over-focused —on emotions, subtle cues, or everything at once. Getting clear on what’s what can make all the difference—in how you manage life, relationships, and even self-talk. Want tools to help sort it out? Take the HSP Inventory: 👉 HSPI-24 Screener 📘 About the HSP Inventory Explore autism traits: 👉 Autism and Related Screeners Check for ADHD traits: 👉 ADHD and Related Screeners Still unsure? Let’s talk. You don’t need a label. You just need a path that fits you . 👉 Fill out our contact form to get started. Our team is here to help you take the next step. With care, Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Get Matched with a Therapist 🔦 Spotlight on Nancy Rushing Specialties Neurodiverse Couples Specialist HSP, ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, Sensory Sensitivities and Processing Sex Anxiety and Depression Parenting (Neurodivergent & Neurotypical) Social Anxiety Intimate Partner Abuse Perfectionism/High-Achievement Grief Chronic Illness/Caregiving Support Personal Experience I am AuDHD , living with both Autism and ADHD. I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) I am also raising two Highly Sensitive Children (HSC) Born and raised in the South—in Louisiana and Texas—by immigrant Chinese parents, both of whom are neurodivergent. Languages: English & Mandarin Chinese. Experienced various neurodiverse relationships through family, friends, partnerships, teaching, parenting and counseling. Learn more about Nancy! © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these questionnaires may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Find answers to your questions about Autism, Neurodiverse couples counseling, Cassandra Syndrome, and Skills Training. HELPFUL RESOURCES INFORMATION OVERLOAD It is easy to fall into the deep hole of the internet to research neurodiversity and never come out. THERAPIST AS GUIDE One way to become informed is to soak in some information, process it with your therapist, and then see what makes sense to you. COUPLES CONTENT LIBRARY Visit our Couples Content Library to access additional exercises and information. Your therapist can can help you toward resources that may be a good fit for you. For now, here are a few touchstones of organized content. Infographics Neurodiverse Couples Communication Neurodiversity Magnet Family of Origin & Neurodiversity Neuro-Informed Websites Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center www.neurodiversecouplescounseling.com Adult Autism Assessment Center www.adult-autism-assessment.com She Rocks the Spectrum www.sherocksthespectrum.com Therapy 4 Autistic Men www.therapy4autisticmen.com Parenting Autism Therapy Center www.parentingautismtherapycenter.com Believing Cassandra (for Neurotypical Partner) www.believing-cassandra.com Neurodiverse Couples Retreat www.neurodiverse-retreat.com Books to INSPIRE you These books contain deep insights about being different. They will make you laugh, cry and learn. Enjoy: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend: A Novel Paperback by Matthew Dicks The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband by David Finch The Power of Different: The Link Between Disorder and Genius by Gail Saltz Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's by John Elder Robison We're Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric Garcia Books to INFORM you. These books are about making a neurodiverse relationship work. They can be hopeful and discouraging. Reading the books will help a little but most couples need to have an experienced professional walk you through the healing and growth process. Aspergers in Love, Maxine Aston Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's Syndrome, Eva A. Mendes Going Over the Edge? Practical Steps to Savings You and Your Relationship, Kathy J. Marshack Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships, Ashley Stanford Alone Together, Katrin Bentley Connecting With Your Asperger Partner: Negotiating the Maze of Intimacy, Louise Weston Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner, Cindy Ariel PhD 22 Things a Woman Must Know: If She Loves a Man With Asperger's Syndrome, Rudy Simone The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder), Tony Attwood Neurodiversity Network https://www.neurodiversitynetwork.net/articles-websites Neurodiversity Hub https://www.neurodiversityhub.org/ Different Brains https://www.differentbrains.org/resources/ Vanderbilt University https://www.vanderbilt.edu/autismandinnovation/neurodiversity-reading-list/ Exceptional Individuals https://exceptionalindividuals.com/neurodiversity/ Neurodiversity at Work https://ndpathways.org/neurodiversity-overview/ Autism Spectrum News https://autismspectrumnews.org/the-superpowers-of-neurodiverse-couples/ Tony Attwood's home page http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/ AANE (Asperger’s Association of New England) http://www.aane.org Autism Women’s Network, Inc http://autismwomensnetwork.org Here are some helpful blogosts, podcasts and articles: GENERAL Neurodiverse Love - Support Groups and Podcast How an Evaluation for Autism Can Reduce Anxiety in Your Relationship The Top 5 Things People in Neurodiverse Couples Should Know Embracing neurodiversity in relationships Are You in a Neurodivergent Marriage? Tips for Women in Relationships with Partners on the Autism Spectrum Lessons from an Aspergers-NT Marriage Neurodiverse PARTNER An Aspie’s Perspective on Neurodiverse Marriage What's so special about a Special Interest? Rules to live by Eye Contact: the Conversation within the Conversation Asking for Help Perfectionism Catastrophizing Sucks! Saying No Neurotypical PARTNER What I've learned in a Decade of Marriage Neurodiverse Marriage: How to Love a Partner with Autism Five Suggestions For Communicating With Your Asperger’s Partner What to do when your partner has Asperger’s syndrome “We need to embrace those who are different and the bullies need to be the ones who get off the bus,.” Caren Zucker, co-author of “In a Different Key”

Explore your partner’s autistic traits through both challenges and strengths. A visual tool that builds understanding, empathy, and deeper connection. Autism Trait Wheel Exercise Get Free Template Instructions If you're filling out a wheel for yourself... Look at each wedge and read both descriptions of the autistic trait. Notice that the first describes the challenging side of the trait while the other highlights it's benefits. Color the left half of the wedge red if the challenging side resonates with you and color the right half green if the positive side does. Fill in as much or as little of each half as feels accurate—more rings for stronger traits, less for milder ones. Look at which traits feel challenging and the ones the reveal strengths. Notice how seeing both sides helps reframe the trait in a more balanced way. Share it with your partner or therapist if you want—it can open up clearer, easier conversations about your needs and strengths. If you're filling out a wheel for your partner... Look at each wedge and read the two descriptions of the trait—one showing the challenging side and the other highlighting the positive side. Color the left half red if the challenging side shows up in your partner, and color the right half green if they display the positive side. Fill in more or less of each half depending on how strongly each side of the trait shows up in them—more rings for stronger traits, fewer for milder ones. Notice which traits seem the most challenging and which clearly show strengths. Seeing both sides together can help you reframe the trait and understand your partner in a more balanced, compassionate way. Share the finished wheel together—use it to start a conversation, build appreciation, and strengthen your connection. Example Autism Trait Wheel

Learn how an adult assessment for Austism Spectrum Disorder is conducted and when diagnoses can be helpful. SCREENING TESTS & ASSESSMENTS < Back Are you autistic or ADHD? Try one or more of the screening tests for adults from our Adult Autism Assessments (AAA) site: Autism: Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) Test Ritvo Autism & Asperger Diagnostic Scale (RAADS -14) Modified Girls Questionnaire for Autism Spectrum Condition (GQ-ASC) - Scale for Adult Women Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) ADHD: Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRSv1.1) Barratt Impulsiveness Scale (BIS-11) Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST) Copeland Symptom List for Adult ADD ASD & ADHD ASSESSMENT & DIAGNOSIS After taking a screener, you may wish to consider getting a diagnosis. This can be INCREDIBLY helpful as it can give people a new perspective into their feelings, experiences,… Show More

Addiction & Neurodiversity: A Different Path to Healing Are you autistic or ADHD? And struggling with substance addiction? Does it feel like everyone trying to "help" is speaking a language you don’t understand? You’ve probably sat in the rooms. You’ve heard the lectures. You’ve been told to "surrender your defects" or "just sit with the feeling." But when you try to sit with the feeling, your skin crawls. It is easy to look at a failed stint in rehab and think, "This system is broken, so why bother?" It’s also easy to internalize the failure and think, "I'm just looking for excuses to bail." But there is a third option. The problem likely isn't your willingness, and it isn't necessarily that "recovery is broken." The problem is that you are trying to run a standard operating system on a computer that wasn't built for it. You don’t get to opt out of recovery, but you do need to opt into a method that speaks your brain’s language. If you are Autistic or ADHD, your path to sobriety needs to look different because your brain is different. We don’t just treat the addiction. We treat the sensory overload, the dopamine starvation, and the exhaustion of masking that drove you to the substance in the first place. The Reality: You Are Not Alone It is easy to feel like the "black sheep" when traditional rehab doesn’t work, but the data proves that neurodivergent people face a statistically higher risk of addiction—not because they are "bad," but because they are coping with a world not built for them. The ADHD Risk: Research shows that adults with ADHD are three times more likely to struggle with a substance use disorder than the general population.¹ The connection is so strong that nearly 25% of all adults seeking treatment for alcohol or substance abuse have undiagnosed ADHD.² [1] The Autistic Connection: While some studies show autistic adults drink less frequently, they are significantly more vulnerable when they do. Autistic adults are nearly nine times more likely than their neurotypical peers to use recreational drugs specifically to manage unwanted mental health symptoms.³ The "Why" Matters: For neurotypical people, addiction is often about seeking a "high." For neurodivergent people, it is almost always about seeking relief —from sensory pain, social anxiety, or a brain that won't turn off.⁴ Anecdotally, this feels low. It feels like half the people in the rooms have ADHD. But that's just the rooms I've been in. Why Traditional Treatment Often Fails Most rehabs and outpatient programs are designed for neurotypical brains. For the neurodivergent mind, these standard practices can inadvertently cause harm rather than healing: Group Therapy Overload: Being forced to make sustained eye contact and share deep trauma in a circle of strangers is often overwhelming. For many, this causes autistic shutdown or panic, rather than a therapeutic breakthrough. Abstract Concepts: Phrases like "turning it over" or "spiritual awakening" can be vague and frustrating for literal thinkers. Neurodivergent clients often need concrete, logical, and actionable tools—not metaphors.⁵ Executive Dysfunction: Demanding a client "just show up on time" or "keep a daily journal" without support ignores the reality of executive function challenges. Without scaffolding for time blindness or task paralysis, these demands just create more shame.⁵ The Neurodiverse Difference: Why It Happens We look deeper at the function the behavior serves, rather than just the behavior itself. 1. The Sensory Shield (Autism) For many Autistic people, alcohol or opioids function as a "chemical volume knob." They dampen the noise of fluorescent lights, scratchy clothes, and crowded rooms. You aren't seeking a party; you are seeking a moment of silence in a loud world. 2. The Dopamine Hunt (ADHD) The ADHD brain is chemically starved for dopamine. Stimulants or high-risk behaviors (gambling, gaming) temporarily fix this deficit. It’s not a lack of discipline; it’s a desperate attempt to feel "normal" and focused for the first time. 3. The Masking Trap Socializing is exhausting. Alcohol is often "liquid courage," suppressing social anxiety and making it easier to "mask" (mimic neurotypical social cues). The trap is believing you are only lovable when you are intoxicated. The Whole Picture: Integrating Biology & Life Experience We want to be clear: Neurodivergence is usually not the only reason for addiction. Trauma, grief, family history, and environmental stressors are powerful drivers of substance abuse for everyone, regardless of their neurology. We do not ignore these factors. In fact, they are often deeply intertwined with the experience of growing up neurodivergent in a world that didn't understand you. However, if we treat the trauma but ignore your biology, the foundation of recovery remains unstable. You can heal your past, but if your nervous system is still constantly overwhelmed or starved for dopamine, the urge to self-medicate will return. Can I still go to 12-Step Programs (AA/NA)? Absolutely. We are not "anti-12-step." In fact, for many Autistic and ADHD individuals, the community and structure of programs like AA can be lifesaving— if the right accommodations are in place. Recovery works best when you have two parallel tracks: 1. Community Support: Utilizing groups like AA/NA for fellowship, but finding a format that works for you. This might mean "sharing" through writing, finding smaller neuro-affirming groups, or realizing that you don't have to perform your trauma verbally to be "working the steps." 2. Brain-Based Treatment: Working with a specialist to manage the physiological drivers of addiction—sensory regulation, executive function support, and dopamine management—so that you aren't fighting your own biology to stay sober. Our Approach: Neuro-Informed Recovery We believe in adaptation, not deprivation . We don't just take the coping mechanism away; we build a life that is sustainable without it. Sensory-Safe Spaces: We welcome stimming and offer low-stimulation on-line environments. Concrete & Logical: We use Internal Family Systems (IFS) and CBT , mapping out your brain logically rather than relying on abstract spiritual concepts. Executive Scaffolding: We help you build sobriety systems that account for time blindness and task paralysis—using visual anchors and routine building, not just "willpower." Meet Our Neuro-Informed Addiction Specialists Recovery looks different when your therapist has walked the path. Malori Evans, AMFT & APCC AuDHD & Substance Use Specialist Malori is a powerhouse of insight. Identifying as AuDHD (Autistic + ADHD) and a queer woman in recovery from addiction, she knows the journey from the inside out. Malori formerly worked as a physician, giving her a deep biological understanding of how substances impact the body and brain. She specializes in helping clients who use substances to cope with sensory overwhelm and burnout . Her "Relationship Anarchy" and anti-hierarchical approach creates a safe space where you are the expert on your own experience. Jory Wilson, AMFT Neurodiverse Couples & Sex Addiction Specialist Jory brings a powerful, lived perspective to his work. As a therapist with ADHD who is in a neurodiverse marriage himself, Jory understands the unique shame spiral that comes with "feeling different." He specializes in Sex Addiction and Betrayal Recovery , helping couples navigate the wreckage of compulsive behaviors. Jory uses a compassionate, non-judgmental approach to help partners understand that "acting out" is often a maladaptive attempt to regulate an overwhelmed nervous system. He integrates spirituality and science to help you rebuild trust. Shea Davis, AMFT Trauma & Addiction Recovery Specialist Shea’s wisdom comes from the trenches. Years ago, she walked into a 12-step meeting broken by addiction, emotional depletion, and a lifetime of "pushing through." She knows firsthand that for neurodivergent people, addiction is often a survival strategy to manage a world that feels too loud and too demanding. Shea doesn't just teach recovery; she lives it. She helps clients move past the shame of their past and build a recovery that honors their unique wiring, teaching you how to self-soothe without the substance. Meet with our Client Care Coordinator References Bunford, N., Evans, S. W., & Wymbs, F. (2015). ADHD and substance use disorders: Developmental aspects and the impact of stimulant treatment. The American Journal on Addictions , 24(7), 569–577. Link to Article Kessler, R. C., Adler, L., Barkley, R., et al. (2006). The prevalence and correlates of adult ADHD in the United States: Results from the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. American Journal of Psychiatry , 163(4), 716–723. Link to Article Sizoo, B., van den Brink, W., Koeter, M., van der Gaag, R. J., & van der Feltz-Cornelis, C. M. (2010). Treatment seeking adults with autism or ADHD and co-morbid substance use disorder: Prevalence, risk factors and functional disability. Drug and Alcohol Dependence , 107(1), 44–50. Link to Article Weir, E., Allison, C., & Baron-Cohen, S. (2021). The association between autistic traits and substance use: A systematic review. The Lancet Psychiatry , 8(8), 673–683. Link to Article Wilens, T. E., & Morrison, N. R. (2011). The intersection of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and substance abuse. Current Opinion in Psychiatry , 24(4), 280–285. Link to Article Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back Shea Davis, AMFT Therapist for Neurodivergent Couples, Individuals, and Families Neurodivergent connection thrives when it’s understood on its own terms. I help individuals and couples uncover what makes their relationships work—not in spite of their differences, but because of them. My Story Is the Foundation of My Work A Long-Term Neurodiverse Marriage. I didn’t come to this work by accident— I lived it long before I trained for it. For 24 years, I was married to a neurodivergent partner in a relationship filled with both deep connection and constant misunderstanding . We loved each other, but our wiring didn’t always match—and that mismatch shaped everything from how we handled conflict to how we expressed love. I know firsthand what it feels like to be in a relationship where you’re trying your hardest, but somehow still missing each other. Parenting a Neurodivergent Child I’m also the mother of two children , now 29 and 22, including a neurodivergent son who struggled deeply in traditional systems. As a parent, I was often the translator—advocating, soothing, interpreting, and holding space for a child whose brilliance the world couldn’t always see. That experience taught me the importance of co-regulation, flexibility , and finding ways to honor a child’s nervous system, not fight against it. Recovery from Addiction and Trauma And I’ve lived through collapse and rebuilding. Years ago, I walked into a 12-step meeting broken by addiction, emotional pain , and a lifetime of pushing through instead of healing. Recovery didn’t just help me get sober—it helped me reclaim my voice, learn boundaries, and rebuild relationships based on mutual safety and respect. That process of healing, integrating, and re-emerging is the lens I bring to every therapy session. Life After Betrayal and Emotional Neglect I’ve navigated betrayal, financial infidelity, and the quiet ache of emotional neglect. I’ve also felt the hope of starting over—as a single mother, as a woman in long-term recovery, and as a partner learning to love again after rupture. My blended family has been one of my greatest teachers. I understand the complications of co-parenting, the grief of unmet expectations, and the beauty that can emerge when people commit to doing things differently, even when it's hard. Working with Neurodiverse Couples Much of my clinical focus is shaped by my own long-term relationship with a neurodivergent partner. I’ve lived through the beautiful highs and painful disconnects that can come when two people with different processing styles, emotional languages, and nervous systems try to build a life together. In that relationship, we often found ourselves stuck in patterns we didn’t understand. I’d long for emotional attunement while he sought logical solutions. I’d press for closeness during conflict; he’d retreat to manage overwhelm. Over time, we developed workarounds, built shared language, and grew in our awareness—but not without struggle. Those experiences inform the way I work with couples today. Neurodiverse relationships often look confusing from the outside—and feel lonely on the inside. One partner might seek verbal connection, while the other prefers action. One might shut down under stress, while the other presses in, desperate for clarity. These dynamics aren’t about a lack of love —they’re about different operating systems . In our work together, I help you: Understand the neurology beneath the behavior Slow down reactive cycles and shift from blame to curiosity Rebuild emotional safety after chronic misattunement or betrayal Learn new ways to communicate that actually land with your partner Navigate sensory, pacing, and executive functioning differences Reimagine intimacy and connection on your terms—not the world’s I integrate Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), polyvagal theory, trauma-informed care, and structured communication tools from the Gottman Method. My goal is to help you feel seen, safe, and better equipped to relate —even when things are hard. Parenting Through a Neurodivergent Lens When I was raising my son—especially during his most difficult years—I often felt like I was operating without a roadmap. The strategies other parents used didn’t work for us. He needed something different: less pressure, more regulation support, and a deep commitment to understanding his nervous system. I had to learn how to show up in ways that were both nurturing and flexible, even when I felt depleted myself. As a therapist, I bring this lived experience into the room. I understand how isolating it can feel to be the one holding everything together—to be the parent who understands what the school system doesn’t, who translates your child’s needs to extended family, and who navigates the tension between advocacy and acceptance. I support parents who are: Co-regulating with differently wired kids while staying regulated themselves Navigating shutdowns, sensory overload, and burnout—on both sides Co-parenting after divorce or in blended family systems Wrestling with grief over unmet expectations Trying to break harmful patterns while creating new family rhythms You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be open to learning—and I’ll walk beside you as you do. Support for Blended Families When my marriage ended and I stepped into the world of co-parenting and step-parenting, I quickly realized that blending a family isn’t about forcing connection—it’s about creating space for each person’s story. Add neurodivergence to the mix, and the need for flexibility, empathy, and honest communication only grows. In my own blended family, we had to re-learn how to listen to each other . We had to acknowledge sensory needs, adjust expectations around emotional expression, and recognize that some members of the family processed grief or change much more slowly—or more intensely—than others. There was no one-size-fits-all approach. As someone who has built and lived in a blended family with neurodivergent members, I support: Step-parenting roles and boundaries that evolve over time Navigating loyalty binds and emotional shifts with compassion and clarity Repairing ruptures in co-parenting or ex-spouse dynamics Helping new partners understand neurodivergent kids and their unique wiring Developing shared rituals and rhythms that work for your family’s actual neurobiology Blended doesn’t mean broken. Neurodivergence doesn’t mean incompatible. Together, we can create something flexible, respectful, and uniquely yours. Working with Addiction and Neurodivergence My recovery journey began with hitting rock bottom—and then learning to rebuild a life from the inside out. For me, addiction wasn’t just about substances. It was about managing overwhelm, avoiding emotional pain, and trying to cope in a world that often felt too intense. As I later came to understand more about neurodivergence, it became clear how intertwined the two could be . Many neurodivergent individuals develop addictive behaviors as a way to soothe sensory overload, mask social confusion, or cope with chronic rejection . And unfortunately, many recovery spaces aren’t built to hold that complexity. In my work with clients at this intersection, I help you: Identify the neurodivergent roots of addictive behaviors Explore sensory-friendly and emotionally attuned recovery strategies Navigate recovery spaces that may feel rigid, triggering, or misaligned Manage co-occurring challenges like executive dysfunction or trauma Build sustainable recovery that makes space for your full self You don’t need to choose between being seen as someone in recovery or someone who’s neurodivergent. I’ll help you hold both—without shame. Who I Work With Neurodivergent adults (diagnosed or self-identified) Neurodiverse couples (ND/NT or ND/ND) Partners of autistic or ADHD individuals Parents of neurodivergent children Adults in recovery from addiction, betrayal trauma, or relational chaos Individuals navigating blended family dynamics and second-chapter relationships What I Bring I bring the lived experience of neurodivergence, depression, anxiety, and addiction. I bring decades of parenting through challenge, the insight of a long-term neurodiverse marriage, and the resilience of someone who’s rebuilt from the ground up. My therapy room is a space where you don’t have to perform, explain, or justify how your brain works. You get to be fully yourself—and that’s where real change begins. License & Employment Information Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #154799 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Neurodiverse Couples, Cassandra Syndrome Support, Communication, Emotionally Focused Therapy, IFS, Addiction, Trauma, Betrayal Recovery, Blended Families, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Accepting New Individual Clients Only Shea Davis Take an Autism Test

We provide expert, caring support for women on the autism spectrum looking to grow or better understand themselves. AUTISTIC WOMEN < Back WOMAN ON THE SPECTRUM? WE SEE YOU. If you are an adult woman who thinks you may be on the spectrum, we are so glad you are here. You have probably been overlooked and under-supported for years and maybe even decades. You may be struggling in your relationship but not know how to fix it. Sadly, feelings of being defective, lonely, confused and helpless may be all too common. Please don't despair. There is hope! On this web page, we will try to cover the basics of women on the spectrum but we invite you to connect with one of our neurodiversity specialists who would be honored to help you.

ADHD Couples Therapy TIP: Want answers fast? Check out our 📄 Quick Guide on ADHD Couples Therapy for key facts, FAQs , and why you should choose us. THE IMPACT OF ADHD ON MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIPS Do you and/or your partner experience symptoms related to ADHD? If so, you can expect very predictable (and painful) patterns to emerge in your relationship. If the underlying issues are not addressed, it is likely that both of you will end up angry, dissatisfied, lonely, frustrated, and exhausted. These feelings typically arise from a pattern of mismatched or unrealistic expectations, lack of follow-through, nagging, constant conflict, and occasionally loud blow-out fights. If this dynamic continues long enough, one partner emotionally and physically pulls away, making the connection in the relationship even more tenuous. Fortunately, with awareness and knowledgeable help, these patterns can be interrupted and relationships can be restored . On this web page, we will cover the basics of ADHD-diverse relationships but we invite you to connect with one of our neurodiversity specialists who would be honored to work with you. Improve Your Relationship Now! ABOUT ADHD ADHD is most commonly diagnosed during childhood. While some percentage of children "grow out" of their symptoms or find effective ways to cope, many do not. In fact, some studies show that 50 percent of those who are diagnosed continue to have symptoms throughout adulthood. Prevalence of adult ADHD is generally accepted to be 4% (ranging from 2% to 7%). Depending on the study, the diagnosis rate in men ranges from 1.5 times to 3 times that of women . Many professionals believe that women are under-diagnosed in both childhood and adulthood. It is also worth noting that ADHD in women normally presents as difficulty concentrating and can look similar to anxiety whereas it is more common for men to experience hyperactivity. For ease of writing, the following is written assuming the male partner is the ADHD partner and the female is the non-ADHD partner . Please know that ADHD can show up in either spouse (or both) and we do not mean to perpetuate any stereotypes. UNDERSTANDING THE ADHD RELATIONSHIP PATTERN Consider each partner's part in an ADHD-diverse relationship: NON-ADHD PARTNER: Feelings: Angry, frustrated, sad and disappointed. Behaviors : Controlling, nagging, criticizing and complaining. Internal narrative: “I have to constantly remind you if I want anything to get done!“ ADHD PARTNER: Feelings: Worthless, resentful, sad and disappointed (in himself). Behaviors : Defensive, making excuses, avoiding, lying and withdrawal. Internal narrative: "How could you expect me to respond to you when you talk to me that way?“ IS YOUR MARRIAGE IN AN ADHD TRAP? If you are curious to see if your relationship fits the typical ADHD neurodiverse pattern, consider how many of the following ADHD symptoms exist in your relationship: Constant arguing, seemingly over inconsequential topics One partner in the “parent“ role and the other partner in the “child“ or "teenager" role Responsibilities feel uneven Difficulty in negotiating reasonable expectations Poor follow through on tasks Lack of consequences for unmet expectations Inability to discuss unmet expectations without arguing Arguments get stuck on whose memory is right Feeling that screens (phones, iPads, computers...) are more important than the relationship Infrequent or non-existent sex life The partner in the parent role becomes the bad cop and the ADHD partner becomes the Disney parent, particularly in the eyes of the children Children get caught in parental struggle \ A KINDER APPROACH - SHOW UP, THEN DECIDE Our clinicians are inspired by the ideas of Dr. Kourosh Dini, a renowned psychiatrist and expert in addressing the challenges faced by those with "wandering minds." Dr. Dini advocates for a thoughtful alternative to the conventional ADHD management strategies that often rely heavily on urgency and external pressure. These traditional tactics, which include setting tight deadlines or using past failures as motivational tools, can increase stress and undermine a person’s sense of self-direction and confidence. Dr. Dini champions a non-fear-based method that he refers to as the visitor-based approach. Unlike traditional methods that push for immediate action, this strategy encourages a gentler, more mindful engagement with tasks. It is grounded in a simple yet transformative principle: "Show up, then decide." Here’s a breakdown of how this method works: Decide: Begin by selecting a task to focus on, whether it’s a work assignment, a household chore, or a leisure activity. Show up: Commit to being fully present with your chosen task. Start by spending just a moment with it—enough time for one deep breath. Decide again: After that initial moment, you decide whether to continue working on the task or to step back. This step reinforces your autonomy and helps rebuild trust in your own decision-making abilities. This visitor-based approach might appear straightforward, but its impact is significant. It promotes a step-by-step engagement with tasks, reducing the overwhelming pressure to achieve immediate results. Each “visit” to a task is a chance to reconnect with your intentions and assess your current mental and emotional state. This leads to a more balanced and fulfilling approach to work and daily activities. Working with one of our skilled clinicians, you’ll explore these principles and discover how to apply them in a way that enhances your productivity and well-being without compromising your autonomy. BOTH PARTNERS STRUGGLE As we work with ADHD-diverse couples, we find that both partners struggle but in very different ways. ADHD PARTNER'S STRUGGLE For the ADHD partner, daily life can feel overwhelming . These feelings start off hidden but quickly emerge under stress. Unfortunately, they emerge as yelling at the family member who is close by, usually a spouse or child. Alternatively, the feelings get buried deep inside. Then, coping mechanisms (such as playing video games, alcohol or drug use, work, and/or porn) take over to keep the feelings from surfacing. Furthermore, feelings of inadequacy , which were often present in childhood, become magnified. As the non-ADHD spouse takes charge of the household and the children, the ADHD partner believes that he will not be accepted or loved unless he changes. Sadly, he does not believe this change is possible! As this pattern gets locked in, the ADHD partner begins to walk on eggshells, just waiting for the next time that he lets his partner down. Being under this kind of stress only makes the ADHD struggle worse. His ADHD mind was already racing; feeling cluttered, fuzzy and/or noisy. Now it gets worse. With the stress of the relationship on top of all the other daily stress, it becomes impossible to think clearly, especially when dealing with his spouse. NON-ADHD PARTNER'S STRUGGLE The non-ADHD partner starts out over-functioning because she loves her husband and wants to help. But this quickly leads to a feeling of being overburdened . Her first attempt to deal with this is to ask for help but then she is accused of "being a nag" or "being uptight". This just feeds into her resentment. When she resists nagging and asks just once, he forgets. Although he apologizes, she feels let down and that he doesn't really care. As she becomes convinced that she can not count on her spouse, she stops asking him to do things (which he could probably do well if their dysfunctional pattern did not exist). So she continues to over-function and soon feels lonely and ignored by her withdrawn husband. Her narrative of being "the responsible one" in the marriage is expressed through complaints to the kids, friends and other family members. Inevitably, the shame and struggle in the relationship spreads through the whole family system and hopelessness can quickly set in. BUT THERE IS HOPE!!! The path to healing needs to be customized for each couple; however, one of the fundamental interventions is to separate the symptoms of the ADHD from the message the partners are taking from it. I n other words, the struggle to follow through with a task does not mean that the partner does not care. It also does not mean that the ADHD partner cannot institute compensating strategies to address the needs of the spouse or family. Our work in therapy is to break the negative cycle , address the underlying feelings of anger and sadness, and then make new meaning of what is happening and what can be done going forward. Please know that we are not suggesting that the actual solutions are simple. The tactics need to be carefully customized for the couple and must be “ADHD-sensitive“ . In other words, we can NOT just try HARDER to do the things we’ve been doing; rather, a couple must be inventive and willing to experiment with new approaches. When working out the new couple dynamic, a couple of points must be emphasized: Take a team approach . If one person is the "one down" position, constantly being blamed, the change will not work. Both partners must honestly recognize the work that each one must do to break the negative cycle. Focus on changing yourself, not your partner. Treat your partner with kindness even when he or she fails. Be open to medication if that is suggested by your physician and other approaches are not working. WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT We have seen couples who have struggled with ADHD completely transform their marriage. Although it is not guaranteed, reshaping your painful patterns in a relationship can do wonders for your lives together. We would love to help and look forward to hearing from you. Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back Maring Higa, Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist | Neurodiverse Couples Specialist 💛 Lived Experience Shapes the Way I Work I know what it’s like to fight for connection—and to finally find it, in a way that feels real, earned, and deeply alive. Earlier in life, I was in a neurodiverse marriage that ended in divorce. It was a relationship filled with both love and difficulty, and navigating the differences in communication, processing, and emotional rhythms taught me more than any training ever could. That experience was humbling and powerful—it cracked me open to what it really means to bridge worlds. I carry forward the insight, empathy, and hard-won clarity I gained from that relationship with deep gratitude. It made me who I am today. Now, I’m over a decade into a new relationship with someone I truly consider my soulmate. But “soulmate” doesn’t mean easy. It means we’re committed to doing the work—especially the work of blending families, healing old wounds, and growing through inevitable friction. We still have our differences. We still stumble. But we keep showing up with curiosity, humility, and care. Having lived through both disconnection and deep repair, I bring a grounded, compassionate hope to couples who are struggling. I don’t offer quick fixes—I offer real tools for real relationships. 🧠 How I Work with Neurodiverse Couples I specialize in helping neurodiverse couples —whether autistic, ADHD, or both—untangle the confusing, painful cycles that often arise when two very different nervous systems and communication styles collide. I don’t see either partner as “the problem.” Instead, I help couples understand how their unique wiring, regulation needs, and processing styles impact the way they connect—or miss each other. Together, we: Slow things down so both people feel safe and heard Shift out of blame and into shared curiosity Build a relational language that works for both neurotypes Learn how to repair misattunements with compassion and intention Respect sensory needs and differences in emotional pacing My approach blends depth and structure. Some of the methods I draw from include: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for co-regulation and secure attachment Imago Therapy for exploring how early wounds shape current conflict Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help each partner access compassion for their own inner world Gottman tools for practical support around communication, rituals, and conflict management Somatic and bioenergetic work to address what's held in the body, not just the mind Every couple is different—and in neurodiverse relationships, that difference is often wider and more profound than in neurotypical ones. That’s not a deficit—it’s just reality. With the right support, it can become a strength. 🌿 The Body Knows—Especially in Neurodiverse Relationships Before I became a therapist, I practiced acupuncture for 17 years. I’ve also trained in somatic healing and bioenergetic therapy, and I bring that deep respect for the body into my work with clients every day. Neurodiverse individuals—especially autistic folks—often live disconnected from their bodies. They may struggle with interoception (the ability to sense what's going on inside) or feel overloaded by sensory input, leading them to numb out or dissociate. Others may live in a state of chronic stress without even realizing it. In my work, I help clients tune back in—gently and safely. Whether through breath, movement, somatic tracking, or body awareness tools , we reconnect to the body not as a “fix,” but as a source of wisdom and regulation. This is especially important in relationships, where the body holds unspoken tension, patterns of shutdown, and the longings we can’t always verbalize. My training and experience include: Acupuncture and holistic bodywork Somatic therapy and bioenergetic release Support for postpartum health and hormonal transitions Women’s health and trauma recovery Personal experience as an athlete, injury survivor, and circus arts performer This embodied lens helps me work with clients whose nervous systems are exhausted, disconnected, or over-activated—especially in the context of neurodiverse relationships. 🌱 Parenting Neurodivergent Children I’m a mom of two amazing kids. My daughter is 9, and my son is 14 and autistic. Parenting a neurodivergent child has taught me more than any book or training ever could. I've come to understand the sensory challenges, the meltdowns, the brilliance, the beauty, and the fatigue. What’s more, I was diagnosed with ADHD later in life, which helped make sense of so many struggles I carried silently as a child—overwhelm, internal shame, and the constant feeling of falling short in a world that didn’t match how I was wired. This personal journey allows me to support other parents—especially those navigating diagnoses, school systems, and the emotional toll of loving a child who may not be understood by the world around them. I walk alongside you not as an expert from afar, but as someone in the trenches who deeply gets it. 👨👩👧👦 Co-Parenting After Separation I’ve lived the real-world challenges of co-parenting —trying to communicate with an ex while staying grounded in your values, protecting your kids' emotional safety, and managing the logistics of schedules, boundaries, and big feelings. Co-parenting can feel impossible at times, especially when there’s unresolved hurt or different parenting philosophies. I work with clients to develop r ealistic, compassionate strategies for communication, boundary-setting, and conflict de-escalation. My goal is to help you shift from power struggles to problem-solving, so your children get the best of both parents. 🏡 Blended Families: A New Blueprint Blending families isn't just about combining households—it’s about building a completely new system with its own rhythms, rituals, and rules. As someone who’s part of a blended family, I know the loyalty binds, the role confusion, and the emotional landmines that can appear unexpectedly. There’s grief for what was, hope for what could be, and lots of tension in the “in between.” I help blended families navigate common challenges like stepparent roles, co-parenting across households, discipline differences, and how to build connection when trust is still forming. Together, we create a new blueprint that honors everyone involved—including the kids. 🎨 And Just for Fun I’m endlessly curious and deeply creative. I love women’s soccer, making music, and getting lost in hands-on projects. I find beauty in the messiness of being human and believe that humor, creativity, and embodiment are essential parts of healing. Education & Clinical Training M.A. in Counseling Psychology (Marriage and Family Therapy) – National University M.S. in Oriental Medicine – Pacific College of Oriental Medicine Certified Bioenergetics Therapist – Southern California Institute of Bioenergetics (in progress) Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #145908 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Trained in: Somatic Therapy & Nervous System Regulation Internal Family Systems (IFS) Trauma-Informed Couples Work Fertility, Pregnancy, and Postpartum Mental Health Women's Health & Holistic Medicine Acupuncture and Embodiment Practices Podcast Creator & Host: The Messy Middle (2016–2021) – Personal growth and emotional healing Body Talk (2024–Present) – Exploring somatic therapy, mind-body connection, and holistic wellness Specialty Areas: Autism, ADHD, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Blended Families, Somatic Therapies, IFS, EFT, Trauma, Neurodiverse Couples, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Maring Higa Take an Autism Test

Autistic burnout can hit like a freight train, derailing everything in its path - especially your relationships. It might start with a creeping sense of exhaustion, but before you know it, you're struggling to function, and the people closest to you are feeling the impact. We’re here to help you understand what makes autistic burnout so intense, why it can wreak havoc on your relationships, and how to prevent it from causing irreparable damage. Ready? Let's dive in. What Makes Autistic Burnout Different? 💡 Regular burnout often comes from work-related stress, long hours, and other overwhelming responsibilities. It leads to exhaustion, cynicism, and reduced efficiency. Autistic burnout, however, stems from the relentless effort to adapt to a neurotypical world that doesn't always accommodate autistic needs. It's about masking —pretending to be someone you're not in order to fit in. Over time, this can deplete your internal resources, leaving you feeling completely drained and unable to function. With autistic burnout, it's not just about feeling tired. It's about losing the ability to do simple tasks, manage sensory overload, and keep up with day-to-day activities. You might find yourself needing more time to recover from social interactions, or you could feel overwhelmed by sensory stimuli that never bothered you before. This type of burnout isn't just physical—it's mental and emotional, affecting every aspect of your life. 😰 Behavioral Changes in Autistic Burnout ⚠️ When autistic burnout sets in, the changes in behavior can be dramatic. You might experience more frequent meltdowns —those intense moments of emotional overload—or shutdowns, where you become unresponsive and retreat from the world. Mood swings can also be severe, ranging from irritability to deep sadness, leaving your partner wondering what's going on. These behavioral shifts can make it difficult to maintain a consistent routine, leading to more stress and confusion for both you and your partner. The pressure to "keep it together" only adds to the burnout, creating a cycle that feels impossible to break. It's crucial to understand these changes are a natural response to exhaustion, not a personal failing. How Autistic Burnout Affects Relationships 🔥 When autistic burnout strikes, the effects can ripple through a relationship. The autistic partner might need more time to rest and recover, leading to a shift in responsibilities. This often causes the allistic (non-autistic) partner to over function, taking on more tasks and feeling the pressure to keep things running smoothly. The imbalance can lead to resentment from both sides: the autistic partner feeling pressured and guilty , while the allistic partner feels overwhelmed and unappreciated . This pressure can create a pattern where the allistic partner starts to expect more from the autistic partner, unintentionally contributing to their burnout. The more pressure there is to keep up with daily demands, the more the autistic partner can retreat, creating a vicious cycle that can quickly spiral out of control. The end result is a two-way resentment that can tear a relationship apart. Tips to Keep Autistic Burnout from Ruining Your Life 💪 Tips for Individuals Break Free from the "Shoulds": Forget about societal expectations. Autistic people have unique needs, and that's okay. Give yourself permission to rest without guilt. Spot the Signs Early: If you're feeling drained, easily irritated, or struggling with basic tasks, that's a red flag for autistic burnout. Identifying these signs early can help prevent a total crash. Ask for Accommodations: Don't hesitate to ask for what you need at work or home. Whether it's a quieter environment, flexible hours, or sensory-friendly adjustments, make sure you're comfortable. 📣 Play to Your Strengths: Autistic people have unique talents. Whether it's hyper-focus, creativity, or a different perspective, lean into your strengths to stay energized. 🌈 Find Your Community: Being around other autistic people can be a game-changer. It’s a space where you can be yourself without judgment. Find your people, and you’ll feel more supported. 👭 Rest and Recharge: Rest isn't a luxury—it's a must. Find what helps you relax, whether it's a walk in nature, a nap, or a hobby. Make time for yourself to recharge. 🌿 Tips for Couples Communicate Openly and Honestly: Make communication a priority. Set aside time to talk with your partner about how you're feeling, and encourage them to do the same. Be honest about your limits, and listen to their concerns without judgment. 📣 Set Boundaries and Advocate for Yourself: Boundaries are crucial for preventing burnout. Agree on what is acceptable and what isn't in terms of workload, social commitments, and personal time. When one of you is feeling overwhelmed, respect those boundaries. 🛑 Practice Self-Care Together: Self-care isn't just for the individual—it can be a couple's activity. Find activities you both enjoy that help you relax and decompress. Whether it's watching a movie, taking a walk, or cooking a meal together, make it a regular part of your routine. 🌿 Why Having a Neuro-Informed Therapist Matters ⚠️ If you don’t have a neuro-informed therapist, it can make everything worse. A therapist who doesn't understand autistic burnout might give you advice that adds more pressure to an already broken system. This lack of understanding can make you feel invalidated and misunderstood , leading to even more resentment. The wrong approach can push you further into burnout or create more strain in your relationship. To avoid this, it's crucial to work with someone who understands autistic burnout and the unique challenges of neurodiverse relationships. If you need help navigating this journey, please reach out for help. The Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center can work together to find strategies that respect your needs and keep your relationship strong. Click Here To Match With An Expert All the best, Harry Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, PsyD Dr. Motro is a registered Marriage and Family Therapist #53452 and the Founder/Clinical Director of the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule With Whitney Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Are you curious about whether or not you have autism/ADHD? Want to learn more about yourself and take the first step towards deeper self-understanding? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take An ASD/ADHD Screener Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Living Neurodiversity I live in a neurodiverse family every day. My husband is on the Autism Spectrum and received his diagnosis later in life. I am so proud of my 26-year marriage and the fact that we were able to reconcile after a divorce and remarry. My two children are also on the Spectrum . They have taught me how differences can be intensely beautiful and frustrating at the same time. Having a neurodiverse marriage and parenting my preteen son and adult daughter give me a unique point of view to better understand and empathize with my clients and their challenges in a way that simply cannot be taught in books. Podcast Listen to Liz discuss Neurodiversity on the Neurodiverse Love Podcast Understanding You “When you meet one person with Autism, you’ve met one person with Autism.” - Dr. Stephen Shore, autistic professor, author, Everyone is different, every couple is unique. As a therapist, my goal is to understand you and your distinct relationship. Just because I have personal experience with neurodiversity does not mean I am automatically an expert on your relationship. I aim to learn who you are and how you relate to your partner in your own unique way. I can provide a safe, non-judgmental, empathetic space for couples to come together on a healing journey and work towards accomplishing their relationship goals. Over time, a couple’s relationship may start to break down when neurodivergent differences turn into dysfunctional patterns resulting in disagreements, loneliness, hopelessness, and pain. The good news is that there is hope, I help couples navigate their relational patterns, bridge communication gaps, and facilitate an understanding and honoring of the couple’s differences. Neurotypical Partner Challenges As an NT partner myself, I empathize with the pain that can come from communication break down and misunderstandings in a neurodiverse relationship. In the past, I felt that no one understood what I was going through, including therapists who lacked neurodiverse training or experience. This only compounded my pain and thoughts that my marriage could not get any better. My spouse and I have since learned how to make our marriage work in our own way. I understand him and his needs the best way that I can and vice versa . For this reason, I am passionate about helping couples do the same. I can offer a beacon of hope for couples because I know change within a relationship is possible. Neurodiverse Couple Challenges There are some unique aspects of how the AS brain processes and expresses information that differs from the NT brain; although this may bring tremendous advantages in certain areas of life, it can make relating to others and everyday activities difficult and stressful for both partners. Topics which are common in neurodiverse couples that I work with include: Alexithymia - a person has difficulty identifying and expressing emotions Executive functioning capabilities - cognitive processes Sensory issues - identifying when AS partner feels overstimulated Masking- AS partner has high-stress levels while trying to “pass” as neurotypical Transitions - AS partner has high-stress levels transitioning to different topics or activities ·Communication - both partners misunderstand each other’s behavior and needs Defense mode - understanding flight, fight, or freeze mode and how to cope Past emotional wounds - AS partner not feeling accepted, being bullied, or internalizing negative labels from the neurotypical society (trauma) Empathy - AS partner may struggle to understand how their partner is feeling These aspects of the Neurodiverse partner do not make that person good or bad. My job is to help you bridge the gaps that exist between you ; in emotional processing, getting things done (executive function), managing the world you live in (sensory issues), making transitions, communicating, reacting to each other (with less defensiveness), and healing wounds. Neurodiverse Parenting Parenting is not easy! Perhaps you, your spouse, or your children are on the Autism Spectrum, and you feel stuck, frustrated, sad, lost, and don’t know where to turn for help. I have over 24 years of personal experience with raising Autistic children alongside my AS spouse. Neurodiverse families have parenting issues specific to them that an experienced therapist is trained to treat. I work with couples to cope with the complexities of parenting. As parents, we all want our children to be successful, happy, and healthy. Some families have the added stress of co-parenting in a blended family or parallel parenting. I am here to listen, understand, and coach parents to navigate high conflict situations, build their parenting skills, and create a family environment where each family member can thrive. Whether your goals are to reduce conflict, reduce stress, or increase communication; I guide parents through techniques aimed at building a stronger relationship with their children and creating the results desired. Education and Licensing I am a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist and a Neurodiverse Couples Coach. I earned my master’s degree in Clinical Psychology from Azusa Pacific University (APU). My professional career is dedicated to helping neurodiverse couples to heal emotional wounds, improve communication, reduce conflict, and increase intimacy. Areas of Focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): General Couples Therapy Intimacy, Sex Affair Recovery Anger Management Divorce Life Transitions Families including Parenting, Co-Parenting, Blended Families Depression, Anxiety, Mood Disorders, Personality Disorders Clients Couples, Families, Men, Women Modalities Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Narrative Therapy, Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), Person-Centered Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Family System Therapy, Positive Psychology, Trauma-informed Therapy License Registered Associate Marriage & Family Therapist, AMFT #133330 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc. Specialty Areas: ADHD, Autism, Discernment, Internal Family Systems, Neurodiverse Couples, ND at Work, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Emotional Intimacy, Accepting New Individual Clients Only Liz McClanahan Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back About: Dr. Motro has made working with neurodiverse community the centerpiece of his life. He has extensive personal experiences with neurodiversity and believes that typical couples counseling falls far short for neurodiverse couples. Accordingly, he has dedicated his practice to providing life-changing counseling for these special but often misunderstood couples. His background includes the following: he spent his earlier work life in technology and then chose a second career in helping others, he is the founder and clinical director of the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center where he collaborates with other therapists equally dedicated to the neurodiverse community. he has collaborated with his team to develop specialized tools to assist neurodiverse couples, he serves as an adjunct graduate school psychology professor where he has incorporated neurodiverse couples counseling into the teaching curriculum, he is a clinical supervisor of other neurodiverse couples therapists, he serves on non-profit boards including, New Path Couples Therapy and Therapy in Motion. he has been married 40 years and the proud parent of adult children , and he has received specialized couples training at the Master's & Doctoral levels. His interest in neurodiverse couples is rooted in his personal life, his prior work in technology, and because his psychology practice is based in Silicon Valley, a neurodiversity hot spot. NEURODIVERSE COUPLES: Most neurodiverse couples start off woefully uninformed about their differences and how to support and accept each other. This misinformation leads to misunderstanding, which eventually morphs into the belief that the other partner is purposely cruel or simply uncaring. Emotional walls come up and intimacy fades and then dies. The most important part of our work in therapy is to free you from this painful blame and shame cycle. We work to gradually reframe how you understand and see each other, reshaping your patterns, and allowing a new relationship to blossom. You can read more on his approach to Neurodiversity at: https://www.harrymotro.com/therapy-for-neurodiverse-couples . Other areas of focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): General Couples Therapy Affair Recovery Sex addiction Modalities: Trauma-focused Neurodiverse Couples Therapy , Emotion Focused Therapy, Imago Therapy, Gottman, Person-Centered, Existential, Couples-Based CBT, Behavioral, Internal Family Systems, Experiential, Positive Psychology Clients: Couples and Families only License: California / LMFT53452 Contact Harry Specialty Areas: Christian, ND at Work, Discernment, Internal Family Systems, Emotion Focused Therapy Harry Motro Take an Autism Test