"How can I share my thoughts with my partner without him feeling rejected?" This exploration gains depth as we uncover the layers of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and its intricate dance with ADHD and Autism. RSD isn't just about sensitivity to rejection; it's an overwhelming emotional tsunami triggered by even the slightest perception of being rejected or criticized. For individuals with ADHD or Autism, their neurodiversity can amplify these feelings, making RSD more intense due to the unique ways their brains process emotions and social cues. This heightened response can make every interaction feel fraught with potential for rejection. So, how do we build bridges over these turbulent waters? Neurodiverse Couples Counseling lights the path with strategies tailored to understanding and mitigating the impact of RSD: 1. Normalizing the Fear of Rejection: 🚫 Recognizing that fear of rejection is a universal experience helps in validating these feelings. This step is crucial in creating a supportive environment where vulnerabilities can be shared openly. 2. Relational Reality Testing: 🕵️♂️ By examining our reactions and questioning their alignment with reality, we challenge the narrative of rejection. The partner struggling with RSD first does this alone and then as a couple. This method fosters empathy and deeper connection by encouraging partners to see through each other's lenses. 3. Embracing Needs Over Criticism: 👎 In relationships touched by RSD, transforming criticism into expressions of needs is a pivotal step towards nurturing understanding and support. Instead of pointing out shortcomings, focus on sharing what you need to feel cherished and secure, such as affirming words or dedicated time together. This shift not only fosters a protective environment for both partners but also encourages empathy and growth, ensuring that the journey through RSD is one of mutual respect and deeper connection. 4. Structured Communication to Counter Withdrawal: 🏗️ RSD can often lead to withdrawal as a defense mechanism. In therapy, we will introduce a structured process to help bring the couple back together and communicate. This will not only minimize misunderstandings, but also gently address the tendency to withdraw. The structured process usually includes setting aside dedicated times for heartfelt discussions, adopting "I feel" statements for expressing emotions, identifying differences in each person's narratives, and practicing active listening. These efforts pave a safer path for both partners to stay engaged and connected. 5. Mindfulness and Self-Regulation: ☯️ Engaging in mindfulness practices and learning self-regulation techniques can significantly diminish the intensity of RSD reactions. For example, a couple could try deep breathing exercises together. But there's an important caveat; we would practice this first in a therapy session because the exercise itself could trigger rejection if a partner feels he or she is not doing it right. With our guidance, these practices encourage a more measured response to emotional triggers, facilitating a calmer, more reasoned approach to perceived slights or criticisms. 6. Creating a Commitment Ritual: 🕯️ Consider creating a commitment ritual that resonates deeply with both of you, serving as a powerful reminder of your journey together. This could involve looking at your wedding pictures together or repeating your wedding vows to each other, reaffirming the promises and commitments you made. You could also review a list of what each partner loves about the other. This ritual becomes a sacred space of reconnection where the partner dealing with RSD can find reassurance in the enduring commitment and love that binds you together. By delving into these strategies, we're not just addressing RSD; we're crafting a relationship that flourishes on mutual understanding, deep trust, and unconditional support. Click Here To Match With An Expert With heartfelt support, Harry Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, PsyD Dr. Motro is a registered Marriage and Family Therapist #53452 and the Founder/Clinical Director of the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule With Whitney Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Are you curious about whether or not you have autism/ADHD? Want to learn more about yourself and take the first step towards deeper self-understanding? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take An ASD/ADHD Screener Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Twice Exceptional Children UNDERSTANDING THE MISUNDERSTOOD: SUPPORTING TWICE EXCEPTIONAL CHILDREN At our neurodiverse therapy center, we know how deeply our couples care about their twice exceptional (2e) children. These kids possess both exceptional abilities and learning differences, often leading to misunderstandings and mislabeling within society. As it is our desire to support the whole family, we want to help the children too. Thus, some of our team members have specialized in caring for twice exceptional children. These therapists work hard to comprehend the unique challenges faced by 2e children and to provide effective support they need to empower them to thrive. On this page , we explore various aspects of twice exceptionality, shedding light on emotional intensity, executive functioning concerns, and the intersection of giftedness with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD/ADD), anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), depression, and specific learning disabilities. Additionally, we discuss the importance of advocating for appropriate educational placements and acceleration for these exceptional children. EMOTIONAL INTENSITY & EMOTIONAL REGULATION: UNLEASHING THE POWER OF EMOTIONS Twice exceptional children often experience emotional intensity, characterized by heightened sensitivity and depth of emotions. However, this emotional intensity can sometimes lead to challenges in emotional regulation. Our therapists provide a safe and supportive environment where 2e children can explore and express their emotions. Through evidence-based interventions, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness techniques, we assist them in developing effective emotional regulation strategies. By nurturing their emotional well-being, we empower 2e children to harness the power of their emotions and thrive. EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING CONCERNS: UNLEASHING POTENTIAL THROUGH SKILL DEVELOPMENT Executive functioning refers to a set of cognitive skills that enable individuals to plan, organize, focus, regulate behavior, and manage time effectively. Many twice exceptional children face difficulties in this area, impacting their academic performance and daily functioning. Our therapists conduct comprehensive assessments to understand the specific executive functioning challenges faced by each child. With this knowledge, they design personalized interventions that address organization, time management, task initiation, and problem-solving skills. By cultivating these executive functioning abilities, we equip 2e children with the tools necessary to unlock their full potential. NAVIGATING DUAL EXCEPTIONALITIES GIFTED & AUTISM/ASPBERGER'S (ASD) The co-occurrence of giftedness and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) presents unique challenges and opportunities. Our therapists specialize in understanding the intersection of these dual exceptionalities. They provide individualized support that acknowledges the strengths of gifted 2e children with ASD, such as their focused interests and attention to detail, while addressing the social and communication difficulties they may encounter. Through social skills training, sensory integration techniques, and personalized educational strategies, our therapists empower 2e children with ASD to navigate their world with confidence and resilience. GIFTED & ADHD/ADD The combination of giftedness and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD/ADD) brings forth unique strengths and challenges. Our therapists employ a multi-faceted approach to support 2e children in balancing their hyperfocus and challenges with attention regulation. Through tailored interventions, including behavioral strategies, self-monitoring techniques, and adaptive learning environments, we help these children channel their intense focus while managing impulsivity and improving organizational skills. By understanding their individual needs, we empower 2e children with ADHD/ADD to thrive academically and personally. GIFTED & ANXIETY/OCD The combination of giftedness and anxiety, including obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), presents unique challenges that require a holistic approach to intervention. Our therapists provide a supportive and compassionate environment where 2e children with anxiety and OCD can explore their thoughts and fears. Through evidence-based therapies, such as exposure and response prevention (ERP) and cognitive restructuring, we assist them in developing coping mechanisms to manage their anxiety and reduce OCD-related behaviors. Additionally, our therapists work collaboratively with families and educators to create a nurturing and accommodating environment that supports the emotional well-being of these children while fostering their academic and personal growth. GIFTED & DEPRESSION Gifted 2e children may be susceptible to experiencing depression due to a combination of their intense emotions, perfectionistic tendencies, and the challenges they face in navigating their exceptionalities. Our therapists offer a safe space for these children to express their emotions and explore the underlying causes of their depressive symptoms. Through a range of therapeutic techniques, including cognitive restructuring, supportive counseling, and creative expression, we empower them to develop resilience, self-compassion, and effective coping strategies. Our goal is to help these children build a strong foundation of emotional well-being and thrive in all aspects of their lives. GIFTED & LEARNING DISABILITIES (DYSLEXIA, DYSCALCULIA, DYSGRAPHIA) Twice exceptional children often face specific learning disabilities, such as dyslexia, dyscalculia, or dysgraphia, alongside their giftedness. Our therapists understand the unique learning profiles of these children and employ individualized approaches to support their academic growth. Through targeted interventions, such as multi-sensory learning techniques, assistive technologies, and specialized instructional strategies, we help 2e children overcome their learning challenges while fostering their exceptional abilities. By nurturing their strengths and providing the necessary accommodations, we enable them to reach their full potential academically and develop a positive self-identity as learners. ENSURING AN OPTIMAL EDUCATION: ADVOCATING FOR TWICE EXCEPTIONAL CHILDREN Advocating for appropriate educational placement and support is crucial for 2e children to thrive academically and socially. Our therapists work closely with families, educators, and school administrators to advocate for individualized education plans (IEPs), gifted programs, acceleration, and other necessary accommodations. By providing comprehensive assessments, educational consultation, and ongoing collaboration, we ensure that the educational environment is conducive to the unique needs and abilities of 2e children. Our goal is to create a supportive and nurturing educational experience that fosters their growth, maximizes their potential, and celebrates their neurodiversity. Further Help Looking for more information? At our sister site, Parenting Autism Therapy Center , we are dedicated to helping parents of neurodiverse children gain the proper insight, and knowledge, to help their children and family thrive. Click the link below to be directed to that site. Visit our Parenting Site FINAL WORDS At our neurodiverse therapy center, we recognize and embrace the unique strengths and challenges faced by twice exceptional children. Our therapists provide specialized support that addresses emotional intensity, executive functioning concerns, and the intersection of giftedness with various exceptionalities. Through evidence-based interventions, personalized approaches, and collaboration with families and educators, we empower these exceptional children to overcome obstacles, develop resilience, and unlock their full potential. By embracing neurodiversity and nurturing the unique talents and abilities of 2e children, we create a world where they can thrive and make meaningful contributions. Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Communication sounds simple, right? Just talk and listen. But for many couples, that’s where things get completely stuck. When communication breaks down, it can feel like you're hitting a brick wall, leaving you frustrated and hopeless. Reflective listening can be incredibly helpful, making sure each partner feels heard and understood. But let’s face it, reflective listening is rarely enough, especially for neurodiverse couples. To break through your communication walls, you need to dig deeper and ask yourself some though-provoking questions. Here are four crucial questions to continually ask yourself: 1. 🤔 How have I been complicit in creating the communication patterns that I say I don’t want? There's a difference between being “complicit” and being “responsible”. Complicit means you're playing a part, even unintentionally, in creating the situations you claim to dislike. You might be doing things you say you don’t want, but in some way, these actions serve you. Do you know what this might be? Think about it. Are you trying to protect yourself in some way? Having a hidden agenda can create chaos in our communication, making it difficult to break free from negative cycles. 2. 🗣️ What am I not saying that needs to be said? 🗣️ Do you hold back important feelings and thoughts because you fear your partner's reaction? One way to reduce this fear is by using a " soft start "—actually asking permission to say something that may be hard to hear. Ask your partner to listen and promise not to respond for at least an hour. Sometimes, even when it feels safe talk, it may still be really hard to figure out what you want to say. This is especially true for our neurodiverse partners who may not be “tuned in” to themselves. Meanwhile, allistic partners may be so worried about keeping everyone else happy that you’ve lost track of your own needs. Taking the time to deeply reflect on what is truly important to you can change your world. It can help you feel like you matter. 3. 👂 What am I saying that’s not being heard? 👂 Ever feel like you’re talking, but your partner isn’t listening? First, focus on how you are saying what you're saying. Are you speaking calmly and clearly, or are your words dripping with frustration and hopelessness? Work on soothing yourself enough so you’re not in a triggered state of mind and body. Instead of pointing out what they’re doing wrong, try focusing on your own feelings and experiences. Expressing your internal thoughts can lower defenses and open your partner to really hear you. 4. 🧏 What’s being said that I’m not hearing? 🧏 Listening is a gift. It means setting aside your own agenda for a moment to truly enter the other person’s world. Take some time to reflect on everything your partner is trying to tell you. Is there a deeper message beneath all the words they are saying? Does a complaint about dishes in the sink really mean that your partner feels overwhelmed at the end of the day and needs someone to notice all the work that gets done? By staying curious about what is being said, even if you disagree, you show respect and validation for your partner’s feelings and thoughts, breathing new life into the relationship. 📝 Start the Deeper Work of Communication 📝 The deeper work of a couple's communication begins with you and a piece of paper (or keypad!) Here’s an exercise to get started: 1. Answer these four questions honestly: Take some time alone to reflect on each question. Write down your answers thoughtfully and thoroughly. 2. Share your answers with your partner: Set aside a quiet time to discuss your reflections. Make sure to carefully listen to each other. Say back what you are hearing but don’t respond. Save that for later. 3. Get expert help: Breaking through years of stuck communication is tough to do alone. To work through challenges, consider seeing one of our neuro-informed clinicians. They can provide expert guidance and support on this journey. For more transformative insights and neuro-informed support, don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We're here to help you navigate and strengthen your relationship. Until next time, Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Do You Focus Intensely on Some Interests, but Not Others? Want to see if your behavior is consistent with monotropism? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take the Monotropism Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Menopause and Neurodiverse Relationships: How to Adapt Menopause is finally being talked about in the open. That conversation is overdue. Because the symptoms can rock a relationship, especially a neurodiverse one. First, the trend you’re hearing about. Overall, U.S. divorce rates have fallen since 1990...but divorces after age 50 have more than doubled. Media are calling this “menodivorce,” and surveys suggest many women perceive perimenopause/menopause as a factor. What’s happening in bodies and brains. Perimenopause can span years, with fluctuating estrogen driving hot flashes, sleep disruption, mood shifts, brain fog, and changes in libido and vaginal comfort. Those symptoms are real, common, and treatable. Why neurodiverse couples feel this harder. Autistic and ADHD partners often rely on sleep regularity, predictable sensory input, and stable routines to keep regulation and communication online. Perimenopause adds heat surges, night sweats, light sleep, and pain, which amplify sensory load and executive-function strain. Emerging research shows many autistic adults report menopause as a “perfect storm”—more sensory sensitivity, more dysregulation, and feeling poorly supported by care systems. ADHD adds another layer. Hormonal fluctuation can alter attention, working memory, and mood; some studies tie symptom spikes to estrogen changes, while other newer data are mixed. Translation for relationships: even stable couples can suddenly feel like strangers for a season. How this shows up between partners. Missed bids for connection rise when one partner is exhausted, in pain, or heat-spiking at 2 a.m.; the other partner may misread withdrawal as disinterest. Sex gets complicated when desire drops, arousal hurts, or sleep is wrecked. Conflict ramps when executive bandwidth shrinks and both partners are running on fumes. What actually helps (neuro-informed and practical). —Get a medical plan, not myths. Ask your medical doctor about menopausal hormone therapy (MHT) pros/cons, non-hormonal options, localized estrogen for genitourinary pain, and sleep treatment. —Protect sleep like it’s oxygen. Separate duvets, phase-shift bedtimes, occasional solo-sleep nights during hot-flash clusters, and a cooling plan (fans, breathable bedding). —Reduce sensory load. Cool rooms, loose layers, dimmed evenings, predictable routines, and a “quick-exit” cue during overwhelm for the autistic/ADHD partner. —Normalize your experiences. Name the stage: “We’re in perimenopause; symptoms come in waves; our job is to co-regulate and adapt.” —Adjust the intimacy script. Prioritize comfort and connection over performance; schedule “low-pressure” touch; use lubricants and pain-reducing strategies; revisit what “good sex” means. Five quick shifts for individuals (from overwhelm to connection) ✔️ Flag it fast. “I’m heat-spiking and foggy; two minutes to cool, then I’m with you.” ✔️ Name the state, not the story. “One sentence: I’m flooded and want to reconnect, not fight.” ✔️ Micro-cool + reset. Cold water on wrists/neck, 90 seconds of breathing, lights down, then turn to your partner. ✔️ Timebox and return. If you need a focus block, set 20–40 minutes and announce your return out loud at the exact minute. ✔️ Make one bid. “Three-minute check-in now?” Five quick shifts for couples (protect the “we”) ✔️ On-/off-ramp script. “I feel a wave; two minutes to land, then I’m back.” “I’m back—can we reconnect now or in five?” ✔️ Temperature + sleep pact. Agree on cooling tools and flexible sleep arrangements during bad weeks. ✔️ Witness window. 2–5 minutes: share one update; partner asks two curious questions—then stop. ✔️ Pain-aware intimacy. Use warm-ups, generous lube, positions that reduce friction, and a permission slip to pause. ✔️ Debrief 3×3 weekly. Three things that helped, three that hurt, three tweaks—pick one to try. Bottom line. Menopause isn’t the villain, but unmanaged symptoms and missed meaning can crush connection. Neurodiverse couples can absolutely adapt with the right medical care, sensory supports, and communication tools. Little by little works. [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Shea Davis Specialties Neurodiverse Couples Cassandra Syndrome Support Communication Addiction, Trauma, Betrayal Recovery Blended Families Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse) Emotionally Focused Therapy Internal Family Systems Life Experience Lived 24 Years in a Neurodiverse Marriage. I know the highs and heartbreaks of a relationship where love is real—but miscommunication is constant. That lived experience grounds the way I support couples navigating similar dynamics. Parented a Brilliant, Struggling Neurodivergent Son. As a mom and advocate, I learned to interpret, adapt, and create safety for a child the world didn’t always understand. That shaped my deep respect for nervous system differences and co-regulation. Rebuilt After Addiction, Trauma & Betrayal. I’ve walked through collapse and come out the other side—with hard-earned insight into recovery, boundaries, and how to rebuild relationships rooted in mutual safety. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT # 154799, Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Get Booked with Shea! Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners References ADDitude. (2025, September 18). Hormonal fluctuations may worsen ADHD symptoms. https://www.additudemag.com/hormonal-fluctuations-adhd-symptoms-menopause/Additude Brady, M. J., et al. (2024). “A perfect storm”: Autistic experiences of menopause and the need for support. Autism in Adulthood, 6 (3), 248–260. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11135000/ PMC Chapman, L., et al. (2025). Examining the link between ADHD symptoms and menopausal complaints. Journal of Attention Disorders . https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40738484/ PubMed Deshpande, N., & Patel, S. (2025). Psychological changes at menopause: Anxiety, mood, and sexual function. Therapeutic Advances in Reproductive Health, 19 , 1–12. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/26318318251324577 SAGE Journals Grove, R., Hoekstra, R. A., Wierda, M., & Begeer, S. (2018). Special interests and subjective wellbeing in autistic adults. Autism Research, 11 (5), 766–775. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/aur.1931 Bowling Green State University Jenkins, C. A., et al. (2024). “Struggling for years”: An international survey on autistic menopause experiences. Advances in Autism . https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/27546330241299366 SAGE Journals Kling, J. M., et al. (2017). Association of sleep disturbance and sexual function in menopausal women. Menopause, 24 (9), 1041–1047. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5443696/ PMC Mayo Clinic. (2024, August 7). Menopause: Symptoms & causes. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/menopause/symptoms-causes/syc-20353397 Mayo Clinic Mayo Clinic Press. (2023, October 31). Get to know the signs of perimenopause. https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/women-health/i-didnt-realize-what-was-happening-get-to-know-the-signs-of-perimenopause/ Mayo Clinic McPress Osianlis, E., et al. (2025). ADHD and sex hormones in females: A systematic review. Frontiers in Global Women’s Health, 6 , 1613628. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/global-womens-health/articles/10.3389/fgwh.2025.1613628/full Frontiers Russell, G., Kapp, S. K., Elliott, D., Elphick, C., Gwernan-Jones, R., & Owens, C. (2019). Mapping the autistic advantage from lived accounts. Autism in Adulthood, 1 (2), 124–133. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6493410/ Bowling Green State University The Balance Menopause. (2022, October 18). Menopause puts final nail in marriage coffin. https://www.balance-menopause.com/news/menopause-puts-final-nail-in-marriage-coffin/ Balance Menopause & Hormones The Menopause Society. (2025). The transition to menopause for autistic individuals in the U.S. Menopause, 32 (6). https://journals.lww.com/menopausejournal/fulltext/2025/06000/the_transition_to_menopause_for_autistic.4.aspx Lippincott Journals USA Today. (2025, August 14). Welcome to the “menodivorce.” Why women aren’t sweating marriage in a sea of hot flashes. https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2025/08/14/divorce-women-perimenopause-menopause/85622804007/ USA Today Westrick-Payne, K. K., & Lin, I.-F. (2023). Age variation in the divorce rate, 1990–2021 (FP-23-16). Bowling Green State University, NCFMR. https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/westrick-payne-lin-age-variation-divorce-rate-1990-2021-fp-23-16.html Bowling Green State University Westrick-Payne, K. K., & Lin, I.-F. (2021). Age variation in the divorce rate, 1990–2019 (FP-21-16). Bowling Green State University, NCFMR. https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/carlson-age-variation-divorce-fp-21-16.html Bowling Green State University Zarei-Khalesi, F., et al. (2020). Impact of menopause on sexual function and relationships. International Journal of Reproductive Biomedicine, 18 (8), 543–552. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8351832/ PMC Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Neurodiverse Couples Counseling TIP: Want answers fast? Check out our 📄 Quick Guide on Neurodiverse Couples Counseling for key facts, FAQs , and why you should choose us. THE NEURODIVERSITY MAGNET Initially, an autistic partner and a neurotypical partner feel a strong initial attraction to each other and couple up. The neurotypical may be attracted to the autistic partner's stability, focus and intelligence. The autistic partner may appreciate the neurotypical helping him or her navigate social situations. The neurotypical may be the autistic partner's special interest , at least during the dating period. Typically, the neurotypical soaks up the attention. They may view themselves as complementary, a perfect fit - like a "magnet" has pulled them together. Many couples we see through our California telehealth practice — whether based in Los Angeles, San Jose, San Francisco, Pasadena, or smaller towns across the state — describe this initial stage as feeling like the perfect fit. DIFFERENCES TURN INTO DYSFUNCTIONAL PATTERNS Yet, it is easy for these neurological differences to lead to wires getting crossed. Building and maintaining an emotional connection becomes more difficult if a couple discovers that they speak "different languages" and have a disparity in how they think and experience emotions. Without the tools to understand and constructively deal with neurodiversity, these differences are often interpreted negatively which, over time, become cemented into dysfunctional traumatic patterns which: degrade trust in each other and the relationship, cause one or both partners to pursue, withdraw and/or explode, lead to feelings of blame, shame, isolation, hopelessness, sadness, disappointment, confusion, loneliness and abandonment, lead to a diminished sex life, make shared efforts, like parenting, more difficult, and gradually weakens the the "relationship house." THERAPY FOR NEURODIVERSE COUPLES EMPATHY IS POSSIBLE Therapists who are not experienced with neurodiversity often tell clients married to autistic adults that their partner cannot feel empathy and cannot truly love. This is dangerous feedback because it is simply not true. Although partners with Autism may process feelings differently , the are fully capable of empathy and love. Autistic adults are often shocked to find that their partner’s faith in their love and loyalty could be compromised by a forgotten good-bye or missed eye-contact. Typically, clients with autism feel empathy but often need a structured process to receive the feelings from his partner, connect with her feelings, and learn to reciprocate the feelings back. That is where our team comes in. SUPPORT FOR COUPLE AND EACH PARTNER There are several ways our team of therapists and coaches support neurodiversity: meet with the couple together (see more below), have a separate therapist or coach meet with each partner individually to provide emotional support and skills training for: the neurotypical spouse , and the neurodiverse partner Find Out How We Can Help! SPECIFIC STEPS FOR COUPLES THERAPY WHAT NOT TO DO: There are plenty of traps when trying to heal your neurodiverse relationship so it is very easy to focus on the wrong thing. Here's a short list of things we will not focus on: Convincing the autistc partner who doesn't see the need to change that he/she should. People on the spectrum may have been misunderstood for most of their lives so they have a good reason to be stubborn. Change comes from understanding, not from pressure. Trying to find the right carrot and stick to finally motivate your partner. Getting the diagnosis exactly right. Even with the right label, the problems are still there! See more on this on our diagnosis page . Punishment and manipulation (It just tends to put them deeper into "Defense Mode"). WHAT TO DO: Instead, we work together to eliminate the counter-productive patterns (mostly based on misunderstanding) that have developed during their relationship, accept each other's differences, and follow a clear roadmap to increase closeness: CREATING SAFETY: Learning basic communication strategies as a foundation for communicating during counseling sessions; Creating a safe space where the couple can begin to suspend judgment, see each other's unique qualities and strengths, and reset expectations without resentment. This may include a discussion of meltdowns, aggressive pursuit of a withdrawn partner or any other behaviors that may be experienced as reducing emotional or physical safety. ASSESSING: Identifying and naming the dysfunctional relational patterns that have build up over years and may be rooted in unaddressed neurological differences; Considering other factors (not related to neurological differences) that may be impacting the relationship; Assessing levels of motivation and making a commitment to the couples work; Self-exploration and self-awareness through sharing personal history (including family of origin), successes and wounds; Exploring how you personal story is impacting the relationship; Identifying deeper unmet needs for each partner; Identifying how each partner may be coping to get needs met or to simply survive (angry or critical pursuit, silent withdrawal,,); Understanding and expressing how each partner's neurological make-up impacts needs and coping strategies; Pursuing a diagnosis (COMPLETELY OPTIONAL) or Identifying the aspects of Autism that apply to you; Accepting the diagnosis OR accepting your unique characteristics (for both partners); Ready to Get Started? Click Here! BREAKING THE TRAUMA CYCLE When one or both partners has been traumatized by relationship patterns that are rooted in their neuro-differences, the partners must overcome two distinct challenges: heal the trauma, and understand and build bridges across the neurological differences. The problem is that most approaches to Neurodiverse couples counseling do not adequately address the trauma. As a result, couples get stuck in trauma-fed reactive behaviors that keep then stuck. We have created a diagram that shows the typical trauma cycle for neurodiverse couples and the path to healing. Your therapist or coach will walk you through how to heal the trauma cycle step-by-step. GENERAL HEALING Bridging the double empathy problem; Expanding communication skills. Acknowledging past wounds and charting a path forward. In a pre-diagnosis period, a couples history is often marked by misunderstanding, resentment, anger outbursts and withdrawal. This must get addressed in a healing way. Learning different responses to traumatic reactions / triggers (move from defensiveness to providing comfort); Meeting emotional needs through increased clarity and structure (Love List exercise); Learning to play together; Coping with sensory overload and meltdowns; Shifting from aggression to anger and then to underlying needs; Expanding Theory of Mind for both partners; Managing other possible struggles for both partners (including depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder); TOPICAL HEALING Time Management: Enabling time together (for connection) and apart (for self-care); Parenting: Learn how to leverage your neurodiverse strengths to parent your children (whether or not your children are neurodiverse); Special Parenting: Learn how to parent your neurodiverse children ; Sex: Meeting each other's sexual needs through managing different levels of libido, enhancing sexual communication, and addressing sensory issues; Financial: Understanding how each partner feels and thinks about money and building a bridge across the gap. CHANGE IS POSSIBLE!! When a couple understand their differences and accept them, they will finally stop resisting change. This can feel like a tremendous relief. Even though both partners usually think the other one needs to change, you both will start to make changes that you never expected. This is where most neurotypical partners think, "Yes, I can change but my partner won't." Despite your worry that your autistic partner is rigid and focused on himself, most autistic clients that we work with will put in tremendous efforts to change in the context of accepting, neuro-informed therapy and the support from his spouse. Please know that autism is NOT a fixed condition that locks someone into the same behaviors throughout life. It is subject to the same forces of change that occur in anyone’s life. Understanding this provides the ray of hope to break painful entrenched patterns of interaction. The change is usually gradual but, over time, both partners usually experience progress and your relationship can finally become more relaxed and rewarding. Desmond Tutu has been quoted saying : “There is only one way to eat an elephant: one bite at a time.” Everything in life that seems daunting, overwhelming, and even impossible can be accomplished gradually by taking on small manageable steps. In fact, many neurodiverse couples that our team counsels report that they are satisfied with the marriage and choose to remain in the relationship. READY TO GET STARTED? Check out our 📄 Quick Guide on Neurodiverse Couples Counseling for key facts, FAQs , and why you should choose us. Or, if you're ready to get started, fill out our contact form and we will be glad to connect you with one of our team members. Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

ADHD Women THE OVERLOOKED SYMPTOMS OF ADHD IN WOMEN Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) affects people of all genders and ages, but the symptoms in adult women often go unrecognized or misdiagnosed. This is due to a lack of understanding about how ADHD manifests in women and the assumption that it only affects boys and men. The symptoms of ADHD in women can include forgetfulness, distractibility, disorganization, impulsivity, and emotional dysregulation. Women with ADHD are often labeled as “scatter-brained” or “flaky,” but these symptoms can have a significant impact on their daily lives and relationships. UNDERSTANDING ADHD SYMPTOMS IN WOMEN AND CELEBRATING THEIR STRENGTHS It is important to note that ADHD is not just a disorder of deficits and challenges, but also of strengths and positives. Many women with ADHD possess unique talents and abilities, such as creativity, resilience, and adaptability. They are often highly intuitive, compassionate, and empathetic. Women with ADHD are also known for their ability to hyper-focus on tasks that they find interesting or enjoyable, leading to great success in areas they are passionate about. Our therapists recognize and celebrate these strengths while working with clients to manage their symptoms and build on their talents. Through therapy, women with ADHD can learn to channel their strengths and manage their challenges to achieve success and fulfillment in all areas of their lives. MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT WOMEN WITH ADHD There are many misconceptions about ADHD that prevent women from receiving the support they need. For example, ADHD is often stereotyped as a disorder that only affects young boys and is associated with hyperactivity. In r e ality, many women with ADHD may not have been diagnosed until adulthood, as their symptoms can be less visible than those of men and may manifest in different ways. Moreover, ADHD is not just about hyperactivity, but also involves difficulties with attention, impulsivity, and executive functioning. Unfortunately, these misconceptions can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and isolation among women with ADHD. At our therapy site, we strive to educate our clients and the broader community about the realities of ADHD in women, and work to dispel harmful myths and stereotypes. We believe that everyone deserves access to accurate information and compassionate support. Curious if your experiences align with ADHD traits in women? Autism Screener for Adult Women THERAPEUTIC APPROACHES FOR WOMEN WITH ADHD We offer a range of therapeutic approaches for women with ADHD, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness-based approaches, and coaching. CBT is particularly effective for ADHD, as it helps clients to identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to ADHD symptoms. We also provide practical tools and resources to help clients manage their symptoms on a day-to-day basis. A HOLISTIC APPROACH TO ADHD THERAPY Our therapists take a holistic approach to therapy for women with ADHD. We recognize that ADHD can impact many aspects of a woman's life, from hormone fluctuations to work and relationships. We work with clients to identify their unique challenges and develop strategies for managing symptoms in all areas of their lives. We also explore the impact of ADHD on their relationships, and help them to build stronger, healthier connections with loved ones. 10 STEPS FOR THERAPEUTIC SUPPORT Welcome to our guide on supporting women with ADHD! If you're living with ADHD or supporting someone who is, these tips are designed to help you navigate everyday life with more ease and confidence. Here are 10 practical steps to make things a bit smoother. 1. Learn About ADHD Understanding ADHD is the first step. Learn how it affects women, especially since it can look different compared to men. Find out about the common signs, like distractibility, impulsivity, and emotional swings. Don't hesitate to ask for resources to understand more. 2. Get a Full Picture It's not just about ADHD symptoms. Take the time to explore your personal history, family background, and other health factors. This can help you and your therapist understand the complete picture and tailor the best support for you. 3. Focus on Your Strengths You have amazing skills and talents! Women with ADHD often have creativity, empathy, and adaptability. Let's build on those strengths to boost your confidence and resilience. 4. Create a Custom Plan One-size-fits-all doesn't work here. Your treatment plan should be unique, just like you. It might include behavioral strategies, therapy, or medication, depending on your needs and preferences. Your goals are the focus. 5. Learn Practical Skills Let's get practical. Learn ways to manage your time, get organized, and handle your emotions. These skills can make a big difference in reducing stress and chaos. 6. Make Your Space Work for You Your environment matters. Make changes to your surroundings that reduce distractions and help you stay on track. This could mean decluttering, setting up routines, or finding tools that keep you focused. 7. Try Mindfulness Mindfulness techniques can help with focus and keeping calm. Deep breathing, meditation, and grounding exercises are great ways to manage stress and impulsivity. 8. Work with Your Healthcare Team If you're taking medication, make sure it's working for you without too many side effects. Stay in touch with your doctor and therapist to keep everything in check. 9. Build Your Support Team Having a solid support system is crucial. Connect with family, friends, or support groups who understand and encourage you. Don't be afraid to speak up about what you need at work or home. 10. Stay Flexible and Adaptable ADHD can change over time. Keep an eye on what’s working and what’s not, and don't be afraid to switch things up. Regular check-ins with your therapist can help you stay on track and celebrate your progress. We hope these steps help you feel more in control and supported. Remember, you're not alone, and there's a whole community here to help you thrive. ADHD TREATMENT FOR GIRLS VS. WOMEN Treatment for ADHD women differs from that for girls, as women have unique challenges related to hormonal changes, relationships, and career demands. Our therapists are trained to work with adult women specifically, and tailor treatment to their individual needs and circumstances. NEED PRACTICAL SKILLS? Our clients inevitably ask about learning practical skills. More specifically, it is important to find ways to navigate everyday tasks and challenges that can sometimes feel overwhelming with ADHD. Here are some detailed tips to help you master these skills and make your day-to-day life easier: Time Management ADHD can make it tricky to keep track of time. Try using visual timers or alarms to stay on schedule. Break tasks into smaller chunks and set specific deadlines. A calendar app or planner can also help you keep an eye on upcoming events, appointments, and deadlines. Organizational Tools A cluttered space can lead to a cluttered mind. Keep things simple by using clear containers and labeling them. Create designated spots for keys, bags, and other essentials. If you need extra help, consider a professional organizer or apps that guide you through organization steps. Task Lists and Prioritization To-do lists are your friend. Write down tasks and cross them off as you complete them. You can use a bullet journal or a digital app for this. Prioritize tasks by importance and urgency. This way, you can focus on what really matters without feeling overwhelmed Minimize Distractions Distractions can be a major hurdle. Try working in a quiet space or using noise-canceling headphones. Keep your phone and other electronics on "do not disturb" while working on important tasks. Browser extensions that block distracting websites can also be useful. Develop Routines Consistent routines can be a game-changer. Establish daily habits for mornings, evenings, and even meals. When routines are in place, your brain doesn't have to work as hard to remember what comes next. This can make your day flow more smoothly. Practice Emotional Regulation ADHD often comes with intense emotions. Learn techniques to manage these moments, like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or grounding exercises. Keep a journal to track your feelings and identify triggers. This can help you respond to emotions instead of reacting impulsively. Build in Breaks Breaks are essential to avoid burnout. Use the Pomodoro Technique or a similar approach to work in short bursts with breaks in between. During breaks, do something enjoyable, like stretching, walking, or listening to music. This helps you stay refreshed and focused. Seek Support and Accountability You're not in this alone. Share your plans with a friend or family member who can help keep you on track. Join support groups or online communities for people with ADHD to exchange tips and encouragement. Learning practical skills takes time and practice. Start with small steps, and don't be too hard on yourself if things don't go perfectly. The key is finding what works for you and sticking with it. With these skills, you'll be better equipped to manage ADHD and enjoy a more balanced and organized life. CURIOUS IF YOU ARE ADHD? Curious if your experiences align with ADHD traits in women? Take our ADHD Screening for Women to gain insights, recognize patterns, and explore supportive resources tailored to your unique journey. The button below will take you to our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment . There, you'll be able to take our Free Online Adult ADHD Screener and gain further insight. Adult ADHD Screener for Women FINAL WORDS Our therapists are dedicated to providing compassionate and effective therapy for women with ADHD. We understand the challenges that come with a diagnosis of ADHD, and work with clients to develop strategies and tools to manage symptoms and improve their overall quality of life. If you think you may have ADHD or have been diagnosed and are seeking support, please contact us to learn more about our services Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

OCD vs Autism Is it OCD or autism? On the surface, they can look the same. Repeating routines. Fixating on details. Needing things a certain way. But the “why” behind those behaviors is totally different. With OCD, the ritual is about shutting down scary, intrusive thoughts. With autism, the ritual is about creating comfort, predictability, and balance. Miss that difference, and the relationship takes a hit. Because what looks like “helping” can actually backfire. When partners accommodate OCD compulsions, symptoms often get worse. But when partners support autistic routines, it often lowers stress and builds connection. See the difference? One needs gentle challenge. The other needs respectful support. That’s why it’s so important to sort out what’s what. Studies show OCD shows up in autistic people anywhere from 10% to over 30%, depending on how you measure it. So don’t assume—it’s more common than you think. Here are your next steps: Read our full article about how OCD and autism intersect. Screen for OCD traits with the OCI-R (Obsessional Compulsive Inventory—Revised) . And if you’re wondering about autism itself, check out our Autism & Related Screeners . Bring your results into therapy, and we’ll untangle what’s OCD, what’s autism, and how to handle both without getting stuck in the cycle. Less confusion. More clarity. Better connection. [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Malori Evans Specialties Neurodiverse Couples OCD and Autism LGBTQIA+ Addiction Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse) Sex/Physical Intimacy Emotional Intimacy ADHD, Autism Trauma-Informed Internal Family Systems Life Experience Living with autism and ADHD, raising two kids, and married to a neurodiverse partner — I understand firsthand the beauty and challenges that come with neurodiverse relationships. As a queer woman in recovery, I bring compassion and authenticity to my work, creating a safe space for clients to explore their own stories of healing and connection. I combine evidence-based approaches with lived experience, helping couples and families turn differences into deeper understanding, resilience, and love. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT # 153124, Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Get Booked with Malori Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners References Aymerich, C. (2024). Prevalence and Correlates of the Concurrence of Autism and Other Disorders. PMC. Retrieved from https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11048346/ Dell’Osso, L. (2025). Autism spectrum disorder, social anxiety and obsessive-compulsive symptoms: Prevalence in children. BMC Psychiatry. BioMed Central Lamothe, H. (2022). Clinical characteristics of adults suffering from high-functioning ASD with OCD. Journal of Affective Disorders. ScienceDirect Meta-analysis: prevalence of OCD in ASD youth: 11.6% (CI 6.9%–18.8%). PubMed Conditions comorbid to autism – OCD comorbidity up to ~30%. Wikipedia. Wikipedia Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Meet Emma and Lucas (not their real names) . After years of misunderstanding and failed attempts with therapists who didn’t grasp the nuances of their neurodiverse relationship, they’re at their breaking point. Their latest fight was the last straw : Emma felt dismissed when Lucas forgot their anniversary, and Lucas was overwhelmed by Emma’s emotional response. Emma threatens divorce. But it doesn’t mean very much because she never acts on it. They don’t know what to do. Desperation brought them to me with one GIGANTIC question: Should we try to save this relationship? On the Brink When a neurodiverse marriage is on the brink of falling apart, couples face the hardest choice of their lives. Here are some of the questions that haunt them: Is this a phase in marriage that will pass? Is this just a personal crisis? Do I even want to work on it? If I make a decision to work on it, how can I be confident that it is the right one for me, or for us? What have I missed? Do I have a blind spot? Is my neurodiverse partner capable of change? Am I? Is it fair for me to ask him/her to change if that's not who he/she really is? What happens to our children? Will they be better off with us staying together in an unhappy marriage? Do I really understand the downside of divorce? Whether to stay married or get divorced is a multi-layered decision process. One that will confound even the most discerning people. You will second guess yourself, ruminate over the decision, and even drive yourself to depression. Sometimes you'll be tempted to decide just to end the misery of uncertainty. Discernment Counseling: A Path Forward Fortunately, there’s a way to help couples get unstuck: Discernment Counseling. The goal of Discernment Counseling isn’t to solve your marital problems but to determine if they can be solved. We answer 2 questions: What would have to change to make this relationship work? Are we willing to sign up to work on the relationship for 6 months? The Big Difference: Unlike traditional couples counseling, which fights to save the marriage, Discernment Counseling focuses solely on helping couples decide what they want to do with their relationship. Ready to Take the Next Step? Get Started with a Discernment Counselor Nuts and Bolts of Discernment Counseling Discernment Counseling: Is a structured assessment process , not treatment. Is a brief, time-limited process, typically completed in five sessions or less. Slows down the impulse to act, encouraging a longer view of your marriage and a broader range of choices. Provides the key information needed to evaluate the relationship and take action—either to pursue a divorce or commit to a six-month course of intensive neuro-informed couples therapy. For neurodiverse couples, this information includes the input of a neuro-informed couples specialist who can explain what a 6-month therapy roadmap should look like for a neurodiverse couple. Identifies core areas each partner needs to work on , giving clarity on what each person needs to change. Answers the question: "Are you willing to work on changing your contributions to the marriage?" If both partners answer "yes" to this question, they move forward and start working on their relationship intensely. After six months, they revisit the question about whether to divorce, but by then, they have more knowledge and clarity about the true viability of their marriage. By the way, some couples just can’t sign up for 6 months. It’s just too long so we break it up into 2 blocks of 3 months each where we revisit discernment after the first block to make sure we’re on track. If either partner answers "no" , your discernment counselor will support you in a healthy separation process or find ways to make the best of the status quo. Beacon of Hope We understand how lonely and desperate couples feel when on the brink of separation or divorce. Discernment Counseling offers a beacon of hope. Couples who go through this process often feel much better, no matter what path they ultimately choose. It provides clarity, reduces uncertainty, and instills a sense of empowerment. There is always hope, and we are here to support you every step of the way. Meet Our Client Care Coordinator With heartfelt best wishes, Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Are You Sensitive to Noises, Textures, etc...? Want to better understand your sensory struggles? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take the SPM-2 Questionnaire Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Autistic Men FROM SHAME TO ACCEPTANCE “Normal is an ideal. But it’s not reality. Reality is brutal, it’s beautiful, it’s every shade between black and white, and it’s magical. Yes, magical. Because every now and then, it turns nothing into something.” ― Tara Kelly, Harmonic Feedback FIRST PRIORITY Our first priority is to be able to see the beauty of our differences . This journey may require rethinking a life of experiencing negative messages from society. This rethinking process must operate in the background of all the more tactical work that is done as it is critical to be able to show up in a way that is less defensive and more whole. SECOND PRIORITY Once this primary work is underway, a secondary goal of many of our autistic clients is to increase the ability to meet the needs of the neurotypical partner AND, at the same time, stay true to himself . It is a delicate balance, one that our therapy team will support you in. Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel EXAMPLE THERAPY ROADMAP When we work together, we will review the list below and together construct a session-by-session roadmap of our work together. STRENGTHS Identify your strengths and build a plan on how to leverage them in your relationship. Make peace with your Asperger traits. SENSORY PROCESSING Understand your sensory processing system. In basic terms, your sensory processing system is how your brain detects, prioritizes, and remembers what is happening around you and inside of you. Explore strategies to manage your sensory sensitivities so you can express them to your partner and build a management plan together. Learn ways to recognize, decompress, and communicate with your partner when you reach sensory overload/overwhelm and enter " defense mode". NON-LITERAL THINKING Learning alternatives to literal thinking and deciphering non-verbal communication . Executive Function Addressing executive function issues which may exist. “Tuning out” is a typical coping strategy of an autism profile. When this happens, one's partner understandably does not feel acknowledged or listened to. We explore lots of ways to address the needs of both partners to increase connection without overwhelming either partner. More specifically, we typically work on: Planning and organization skills Initiating tasks Multi-tasking versus one task at a time Self-monitoring Completing undesirable tasks Setting and communicating timetables We're here to help. Contact Us Now! PARTNERSHIP MINDSET Shifting one's worldview from a “ bachelor state of mind” to one of partnership or parent. Clearly identify differences in your primary relationship and ways to bridge the gap. Set your relationship goals that are consistent with your values and identity Prioritize Change Identify the absolutely most important behaviors and/or traits you want to work on because they are valuable to both of you (not all of them!). CONCRETE ACTION PLAN Build a plan to break goals into understandable concrete steps and a timetable for action that does not feel pressured. Determine the best approach for each skill/goal ; whether to learn by rote, by deeper understanding or by trial and error. Have a social skills mentor / accountability partner (not your partner!) Practice, practice, practice Learn how to collect and accept feedback (without freaking out or feeling shame, criticism or defensiveness). Once you've met initial goals, add a long-term maintenance plan to your roadmap. Learn to genuinely enjoy the journey. The efforts put in by the autistic partner are usually greatly appreciated by the neurotypical partner. That is why integrated therapy (couples plus individual therapy) can be so powerful. Wondering if you have Autistic traits? Curious about how autism may shape your experiences as a man? Take our Autism Screener to explore traits, gain insights, and access resources tailored to your unique strengths and challenges. The button below will take you to our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment . There, you'll be able to take our Free Online Adult Autism Screener and gain further insight. Adult Autism Screener In addition to support from the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, we now have a site, Therapy 4 Autistic Men , dedicated to the unique needs of autistic men. Here, we: provide autism-focused & neurodivergent-affirming therapy help you feel safe, supported, and heard with compassion work with you to reduce anxiety, depression, masking & autistic burnout help with Autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (diagnosis available) work to lift self-esteem offer solutions for family conflict share strategies for work or school support for LGBTQIA+, transgender, nonbinary, and BIPOC clients offer support groups to help men find serenity and reduce frustration Our team members are: autistic and allistic (both perspectives can be helpful), men and women (yes, some of our male clients prefer a female therapist), athiest, agnostic, spiritual, people with deep faith, and single, divorced, in a committed relationship and married. Please feel free to get in touch via our contact form . Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

🧩 The Struggle to Connect: What's Really Going On? Hi There, You’re at the Neurodiverse COUPLES Counseling Center for relationship help, right? So why am I talking about you about individual counseling ? Because sometimes the most powerful way to transform your relationship is to focus on yourself . Yes, you read that right! In neurodiverse relationships, where communication can often feel like navigating through a fog, taking time for individual work can be the key to finding clarity and moving forward. The Foggy Glasses Analogy 🕶️ Imagine you’re wearing glasses that keep fogging up. No matter how many times you try to wipe them clean, the fog returns. You’re trying to see clearly, but the blur remains. Now, imagine this is your relationship. The fog represents miscommunication, and despite your best efforts—and even couples therapy—the clarity you’re hoping for just isn’t there yet. Couples therapy is crucial, but sometimes, in neurodiverse relationships, you need to step back and clean those glasses on your own. Why Individual Sessions Are a Must for Neurodiverse Couples 🔍 Here’s why individual sessions are vital: Gaining Personal Insight : Individual sessions give us the space to gather valuable information about each person’s history, personal triggers, and their commitment to the relationship and therapy process. A Less Triggering Environment : Working individually allows you to explore and address your own challenges without the emotional charge of your partner being in the room. This helps you become more open and less reactive when you return to couples sessions. Building Confidence in Communication : There may be topics you want to discuss with your partner but feel too overwhelming to share in front of them. Individual therapy provides a safe space to work on expressing yourself with more skill and tenderness, so when you do bring it up in couples therapy, you’re better prepared. Going Deeper: Individual counseling gives you more time to understand your unique neurotype. We offer individual counseling for: Autistic Men Autistic Women ADHD Women AuDHD Support (autism + ADHD) Cassandra Support (for allistic partners) Individual therapy helps clear that fog and allows you to approach your relationship with new clarity and understanding. A Big Team, A Big Benefit 🤝 One of the greatest strengths of working with a large group of neuro-informed therapists is the collaboration between our couples therapists and individual therapists . When you work with us, you’re not just receiving support from one person—you’re tapping into the collective wisdom of a team of neuro-informed specialists. We collaborate to ensure that your therapy experience is cohesive and aligned. We always get your permission before discussing your therapy across the team, and the goal is to make sure we’re not working at cross purposes. We don’t want one therapist telling you one thing and another saying something completely different. Our team works together to support you with consistent, unified guidance. Get Clear and Move Forward 🚀 If couples therapy feels like it’s not getting you the clarity you need, don’t worry. In neurodiverse relationships, it’s normal for communication to feel cloudy at times. Individual therapy can provide the personal clarity you need to move forward with your partner—together. Next time you're in a session, ask your therapist how individual work can help you see your relationship more clearly. Until next time, Harry Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Is the Weight of Deadlines, Chores, & Requests Holding You Down? You may meet the criteria for Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Take the PDA Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

When Debates Turn Brutal 💣 Watching the recent political debate between Trump and Kamala felt like witnessing a car crash in slow motion—painful, chaotic, and impossible to look away from. This wasn’t just a discussion; it was a win-lose collision of words, leaving a trail of wreckage behind. Does this sadly remind you of your attempts to talk? 💔 Do conversations turn into a brutal back-and-forth where nobody truly listens? 🎤 Or have you stopped trying to talk altogether, certain that any attempt to connect will end in the same debate battle? 🥀 And how do you feel about yourself after being in debate mode? 😔 I’m guessing, not very good! The Path to Connection: Shifting from Debate 🛠️ Breaking out of this destructive cycle starts with a fundamental shift in how we approach each other. Awareness of Debate Mode The first step is recognizing when you’re slipping into debate mode. Notice when you start feeling defensive or when the conversation shifts to proving who’s right. Awareness is the key to stopping the cycle before it spirals out of control. Manage Meltdowns or Shutdowns Understand that an autistic partner may experience meltdowns or shutdowns during intense discussions. In these moments, it's crucial to recognize that pushing through isn't an option. Instead, agree to pause or stop the conversation entirely and reschedule it for a time when both partners are in a calmer state of mind. Address Flooding and Cassandra Syndrome The allistic partner may experience emotional flooding, especially if they feel unseen or unheard over time, a condition often referred to as Cassandra Syndrome . Acknowledge this overwhelming feeling and provide opportunities to step back and process emotions before continuing the conversation. Express Vulnerability Instead of launching into defense mode, share how you feel. Saying, " I feel overwhelmed, " opens the door to understanding much more than, "You never help." Seek to Understand Focus on understanding rather than winning. Ask questions like, "Can you help me understand where you’re coming from? " This reframes the conversation from a battle to a shared journey. Reframe the Debate Ask, "How can we support each other through this?" Instead of focusing on who's right or wrong, the goal becomes finding what both need. Go Deep Often, surface-level arguments are driven by deeper wounds and insecurities. Reflect on what's really hurting beneath the debate. Is it a fear of rejection, feeling inadequate, or something else? Exploring these deeper wounds can reveal what's truly fueling the conflict and open the door for deeper healing. . How Our Neuro-Informed Specialists Can Help 🧑⚕️ At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center , we understand how easy it is to get trapped in a cycle of destructive debates. Breaking free from this cycle can feel nearly impossible, especially when both partners are feeling hurt and misunderstood. That’s where our neuro-informed specialists come in. In our sessions: we do not allow couples to fall back into debating mode. we actively reshape how you communicate in real-time. we give you concrete new ways to to interact we provide the "hand-holding" needed to break old patterns. Ready to Break the Cycle? 🌱 You can't change what you see in those TV debates, but you CAN change how things play out in your own relationship. If you’re ready to stop the endless cycle of debates in your relationship, reach out today. Our specialists are here to help you find a path forward, together. Warmly, Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Quick Tip: Sensory Check-In 🧠 Quick Tip: Sensory Check-In 🧠 In neurodiverse relationships, sensory overload can be a hidden trigger for debates. Before diving into a heavy conversation, do a quick sensory check-in with your partner. Ask questions like, "Are the lights too bright?" or "Is there too much noise?" Sometimes, the environment is adding stress to the situation. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

HSP for Couples TIP: Want answers fast? Check out our 📄 Quick Guide on HSP for Couples to access key facts, FAQs , and why you should choose us. Understanding the Highly Sensitive Person for couples. Do you often feel overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, or strong smells? Maybe you’ve been told you’re "too sensitive" or that you need to toughen up. If this sounds familiar, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). This trait, found in 15-20% of the population, describes individuals whose nervous systems are wired to process sensory input more deeply. Being an HSP is not a disorder —you won’t find it in the DSM. However, it plays a significant role in how people experience the world. Understanding this trait can transform relationships, helping couples and individuals navigate its challenges and embrace its unique strengths. Not sure where to start? Our free questionnaire was designed to help you understand your level of sensitivity and emotional/sensory responsiveness. It measures four key traits commonly associated with high sensitivity: Depth of Processing, Overstimulation, Emotional Reactivity, and Sensitivity to Subtleties. Take the HSP Questionnaire What is HSP? H ighly Sensitive People possess a blend of qualities that make their experiences in the world different, including: Depth of Processing HSPs process all types of information more deeply than others. They are more reflective, often taking longer to make decisions because of their detailed thought process. This depth of processing includes both conscious analysis of conversations and unconscious gut feelings. Overarousability HSPs notice more than others in any given situation—be it emotions, noise levels, or even subtle smells. This hyper-awareness is advantageous but can also lead to overarousal and stress, especially in overwhelming environments. Emotional Intensity HSPs feel emotions intensely, both positive and negative. This heightened emotional responsiveness makes them empathetic, as they are more attuned to others' feelings. Sensory Sensitivity HSPs are highly sensitive to subtle environmental stimuli, which can help them notice potential dangers but also makes them more vulnerable to discomfort from loud noises, bright lights, or even certain foods. Risk Evaluation HSPs are excellent strategists and tend to plan ahead, carefully evaluating risks before acting. Their sensitivity tempers impulsive behavior, making them cautious adventurers Helping Couples Understand HSP For neurodiverse couples, where one partner may be autistic or have ADHD, integrating an HSP trait into the relationship adds complexity but also depth. Here’s how this dynamic can show up: Sensory Overload : HSPs can find environments or experiences that seem neutral to their partner overwhelming. Whether it’s a noisy event or an emotionally charged conversation, the HSP partner may need more downtime or a change in surroundings to cope with the overload. Their non-HSP partner, however, may not experience the same level of intensity and can feel frustrated or confused by the HSP’s reactions. Counseling can help each partner understand and respect the other’s sensory needs, finding a balance between stimulation and calm. Emotional Processing : HSPs are deeply sensitive to emotional shifts in a relationship. A tone of voice, a word choice, or even an expression can trigger strong emotions. In neurodiverse couples, this sensitivity can clash with a more direct or less emotionally expressive partner, like someone on the autism spectrum, who may be less attuned to these subtle cues. This can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Therapy can help bridge this gap, fostering communication that supports both the HSP’s need for emotional nuance and the non-HSP partner’s need for straightforward conversation. Conflict Resolution : Because HSPs feel emotions so deeply, conflict in the relationship can feel especially overwhelming. They may take longer to recover after arguments, need more reassurance, or even avoid conflict altogether to prevent emotional overload. This avoidance, however, can lead to unresolved issues. Neurodiverse couples therapy can provide tools for managing conflict in a way that doesn’t overwhelm the HSP, while also giving the non-HSP partner the space they need to express their thoughts more clearly. Building Empathy : On the flip side, the depth of feeling that HSPs bring to a relationship can foster a strong sense of empathy and emotional connection. Their sensitivity allows them to pick up on their partner’s needs, even if unspoken, which can create a more supportive and nurturing bond. Couples therapy can help partners use these strengths to their advantage, deepening their connection while also addressing the challenges that come with HSP traits. By creating a space where both partners’ needs are understood and respected, counseling can help neurodiverse couples find a new balance in their relationship. HSP Overlaps with Other Neurodiversities HSP traits can overlap with aspects of other neurodiverse conditions such as autism or ADHD. For example: Autism : Both HSPs and autistic individuals can experience sensory sensitivities, though for different reasons. Autistic individuals may struggle with processing sensory stimuli, while HSPs tend to process stimuli more deeply on an emotional level. ADHD : HSPs may experience a similar sense of overwhelm in busy environments as someone with ADHD, but where ADHD might be characterized by difficulty focusing, HSPs are often over-focused on emotional and sensory details. Exploring these overlaps in therapy can help neurodiverse individuals and couples find ways to better understand each other and work together. Is Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) a Disorder? Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), the trait underlying HSP, is not a disorder but rather a natural variation in how the nervous system processes sensory information. While it can coexist with conditions like autism or ADHD, it is distinct in important ways: Empathy and Social Sensitivity : SPS involves high levels of empathy and responsiveness to social stimuli, traits that are often absent in conditions like high-functioning autism. This makes SPS more about deep social and emotional engagement rather than social difficulty. Attention Span : Although HSPs may be misdiagnosed with ADHD, they tend to have good concentration in quiet, calm environments. ADHD typically presents with a more consistent challenge in maintaining attention, regardless of the setting. Despite the challenges of overstimulation and emotional intensity, SPS offers a range of advantages, including heightened intuition, creativity, and empathy. For some, however, the trait can lead to vulnerabilities, such as anxiety or depression, particularly if they feel misunderstood or isolated. Therapy can provide valuable psychoeducational support, helping HSPs navigate these challenges while embracing their sensitivity as a strength. We're here to answer questions! Understand Your Sensory Sensitivity: Get Expert Guidance with Our Sensory Assessment If you’re wondering whether your sensitivity might be part of a broader sensory processing pattern, you may benefit from taking the Sensory Processing Measure, Second Edition (SPM-2) . The SPM-2 is a widely recognized tool used to assess how individuals process sensory information in various environments, such as at home, work, or in social situations. What is the SPM-2? The SPM-2 measures different aspects of sensory processing, including how people respond to visual, auditory, tactile, and other sensory stimuli. It can help identify specific areas where a person may struggle with sensory integration, such as difficulty filtering out background noise or heightened sensitivity to touch. How Does It Relate to HSP? While the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) trait is not the same as sensory processing disorder (SPD) or other sensory challenges, there are overlapping characteristics. Both HSPs and individuals with sensory processing challenges may: Experience overstimulation in busy or noisy environments Feel overwhelmed by certain textures, sounds, or bright lights Require more downtime or space after social interactions However, HSP focuses more on emotional and social sensitivity , along with a deeper level of processing information, whereas sensory processing disorders tend to be more about how the brain interprets sensory input from the environment. How Can the SPM-2 Help? For individuals who are uncertain if their experiences stem from sensory processing difficulties or their HSP trait , the SPM-2 provides valuable insight. Under the guidance of our trained clinicians, this assessment can: Clarify if sensory sensitivities are part of a more significant sensory processing challenge Identify areas where targeted support might reduce overstimulation and stress Guide therapy to address both the emotional and sensory aspects of sensitivity, creating a more holistic treatment approach Schedule Your SPM-2 Assessment Today At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, our clinicians are experienced in using the SPM-2 to help individuals understand their sensory profiles. If you’re interested in exploring how sensory processing might be influencing your experience, we invite you to take this assessment as part of your therapeutic journey. Contact us to schedule an SPM-2 assessment with one of our expert clinicians and start gaining deeper insight into your sensory and emotional world. Contact Us Today! 5 Great Books on HSP The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron - The essential guide to understanding HSP traits and learning how to embrace them. Learn more The Highly Sensitive Person in Love by Elaine Aron - A must-read for HSPs navigating love and relationships. Learn more The Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff - Practical strategies for managing emotions and boundaries as an HSP or empath. Learn more Quiet by Susan Cain - An exploration of introverts, many of whom share HSP traits, and how to thrive in a noisy world. Learn more The Highly Sensitive Parent by Elaine Aron - For HSPs who are navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood. Learn more Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Maybe your teen is melting down every night after school.Or they’re totally shut down. Or both. They’ve been labeled sensitive, dramatic, and disrespectful.But what if that’s not the full story? What if your teen is autistic—and no one caught it? This happens all the time. Especially with bright kids. Especially with girls. Especially with kids who seem “fine” at school but fall apart at home. Autism in teens doesn’t always look like people expect. They might be social, but always on edge. They might seem easygoing, but they’re secretly exhausted. They might follow the rules, but be filled with anxiety. They’ve learned to mask. To mimic.To survive. But now the mask is slipping. And you’re seeing the cost. That’s where we come in. We help autistic teens figure out what’s really going on. We walk them through a gentle, thoughtful self-discovery process. We're not focused on a diagnosis. We give them a chance to understand their brain, their needs, and their strengths. We help parents finally connect the dots. And we give the whole family a way forward. Visit TeensUnmask.com to learn more. You’ll find screeners, support, and a team that truly gets it. Because the earlier they understand themselves, the more they can thrive on their own terms. Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center and TeensUnmask | Therapy for Autistic Teens Get Matched with a Therapist Wondering what’s going on beneath the surface? A screener can help you and your teen understand things more clearly—take one from the options below: Teen Autism Screeners: Teens Ages 13-15 Autism Screener Teens Ages 16+ Autism Screener Teen ADHD Screeners: Teens Ages 13-15 ADHD Screener Teens Ages 16+ ADHD Screener 🔦 Spotlight on Malori Evans Malori Evans (Autistic/ADHD) “Your emotions aren’t too much. They’re trying to tell you something.” Malori gets that the world often treats sensitive people like they’re the problem—but that’s not how she sees it. She works with teens who feel everything deeply: the anger, the anxiety, the “why am I crying again?” moments. Her therapy style is warm, curious, and validating—she’s not here to fix you. She’s here to help you understand what’s underneath and feel less alone in the process. If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much,” Malori might be exactly who you need to meet. Learn more about Malori! © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

It's hard to watch your child throw a fit. It can make you feel helpless. And leave you wondering what's really happening. Your child isn’t being bad. They’re overwhelmed. With a hijacked nervous system. This has a name. It ’s called PDA. This is P athological D emand A voidance. Another (better) name is P ersistent D rive for A utonomy. Here ’s the formula: Anxiety + Loss of Control = Avoidance. This is often confused for oppositional personality . But it is very different. Rather than trying to oppose something external, It’s a stress response to something inside. It’s a body trying to protect itself. Here’s what that looks like: Some kids don’t just resist. They panic. The ask feels like a trap, not a task. Their body goes into fight, flight, or freeze. They want to comply—but can’t. You say, “Put on your shoes.” They scream. They cry. They run. They collapse. It's not defiance. Not manipulation. Not a discipline problem. It ’s a nervous system in lockdown. The demand flips the switch. Even when they want to say yes. Adults do it too . They smile. They joke. They stall. They vanish. They say, “I’ll do it later.” Then avoid for days. Inside? Panic and pressure. A body trying to escape. They want to help. They want to connect. But the pressure flips a switch. Self-control becomes oxygen. Demands feel like suffocation. That’s why rewards don’t work. Consequences don’t either. They increase panic. They fuel power struggles. What works for kids? Options. Play . Low-pressure tone. Lots of choice. Say, “Want to race to the car?” Say, “What’s your plan for teeth?” Invite, don’t insist. Partner, don’t push. Same goes for couples. One partner asks. The other shuts down. Again. Not because they don’t care— but because the ask triggers panic. It lands as control, not connection. “I need you” can feel like “You must.” That’s why the "how" matters. Start with emotional safety. Use a low-stakes tone. Offer options, not ultimatums. Say, “Would now or later work better?” Say, “How can I support you on this?” Agree on code words. Pause when panic shows up. Make room for repair— not reaction. When couples shift the way they ask, they shift the entire dynamic. Wondering If This Fits You? PDA in adults can be hard to see from the inside. It often gets mislabeled as depression, avoidance, ADHD, even personality flaws. But there’s a screener built just for this. 👉 Take the Extreme Demand Avoidance Questionnaire for Adults (EDA-QA) It’s free, quick, and gives real insight into whether this profile might be part of your story. If the results hit home, you can talk to our PDA guru, Rachel Wheeler. With Rachel, there’s no shame. Just tools. Just safety. Just support that actually works. If meltdowns are daily… If shutdowns keep happening… If “lazy” doesn’t sit right… It’s not defiance. It ’s P ersistent D rive for A utonomy (PDA)! Reach out today and request Rachel. Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Rachel Wheeler Specialties PDA AuDHD, ADHD, Autism, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Neurodiverse Couples, Life Experience Parents a highly sensitive, neurodivergent child while unmasking her own PDA and AuDHD identity. She brings real-world empathy to families navigating both self-discovery and support. Navigates a neurodiverse marriage built on friendship, transformed by diagnosis and mutual understanding. Sixteen years in, Rachel and her partner have reshaped their relationship through clarity, accommodation, and compassion. Lived the cost of camouflaging—now helps others unlearn it safely. Rachel guides clients toward authenticity without sacrificing safety or identity. Grounds her therapy work in lived neurodivergence, not just education.Her insight comes from walking the same path as the people she supports. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT #126649, Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Get Booked with Rebecca Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel