Monotropism IS MONOTROPISM A THEORY? Yes. Coined by autistic scholars Dinah Murray and Wenn Lawson, Monotropism Theory challenges traditional views of autism by reframing autistic behaviors as adaptive responses and assets rather than deficits. Unlike traditional views that pathologize autism as a disorder, monotropism theory suggests that autistic individuals possess a focused attention system, giving them the ability to concentrate intensely on a limited number of interests, thoughts, or activities at any given time. This focus style can significantly shape how individuals perceive and interact with the world around them, affecting their personal and interpersonal dynamics, especially in a neurodiverse couple. Watch or listen instead of reading — this video covers the same topic in a more personal, conversational way. Educational use only — not therapy or advice. Therapy for CA residents · Coaching worldwide. If in crisis, call 988 (U.S.) KEY FEATURES OF MONOTROPISM THEORY Recognition of Strengths: Monotropism highlights the strengths associated with intense focus and specialized knowledge in autistic individuals. Rather than viewing their focused interests as restrictive or problematic, monotropism acknowledges these as valuable assets that can be harnessed and cultivated. Tailored Support: Therapeutic interventions and educational approaches can be tailored to accommodate and leverage an individual's monotropic attention style. By incorporating their interests and strengths into learning and developmental activities, support can be more effective and engaging. Respect for Individuality: Monotropism underscores the importance of respecting the individuality and autonomy of autistic individuals. By recognizing and valuing their unique patterns of attention and sensory experiences, society can create more inclusive environments that honor diversity. THE ADVANTAGES OF MONOTROPISM Depth of Knowledge: Individuals who exhibit monotropic attention often develop an impressive depth of knowledge and expertise in their areas of interest. This can bring a unique perspective and richness to relationships and conversations. Passion and Dedication: The intensity of focus often translates into a high level of commitment and passion, whether in personal projects or other aspects of life, including aspects of the relationship that align with their interests. Consistency and Reliability: Monotropic attention can also mean that once committed, individuals can be remarkably consistent and reliable in their areas of focus, providing a stable foundation in parts of the relationship. CHALLENGES OF MONOTROPISM IN RELATIONSHIPS While there are benefits, monotropism can also present challenges in relationships: Limited Flexibility: The intense focus on specific interests can sometimes lead to difficulties in shifting attention towards other necessary aspects of life, including relationship needs. Communication Gap: Partners may find it challenging to engage with each other if their interests do not overlap, potentially leading to feelings of isolation or misunderstanding. Emotional Connectivity: The focus on particular interests might result in missed emotional cues from the partner, which can hinder the emotional connectivity and responsiveness that are vital in a relationship. Our therapy sessions are designed to: Enhance Appreciation: Recognize and value the advantages of monotropism, using them as strengths that can enrich the relationship. Adapt Communication Strategies: Develop tailored communication methods that consider the unique attentional focus, improving interaction and mutual understanding. Foster Emotional Intimacy: Create strategies to help both partners express their needs and feelings effectively, enhancing emotional connections despite differing focus styles. IMPLICATIONS FOR INDIVIDUAL THERAPY When working with one of our clinicians on a one on one basis, we can focus on: Embracing Interests : Instead of attempting to redirect or suppress an autistic individual's interests, therapists can incorporate these passions into therapeutic activities. By leveraging the individual's intrinsic motivations, therapy becomes more engaging and meaningful, fostering a deeper connection and collaboration between the client and therapist. Building on Strengths : Monotropism theory encourages therapists to identify and capitalize on the strengths associated with intense focus and specialized knowledge. Therapeutic interventions can be structured to leverage these strengths, empowering the individual to develop skills, achieve goals, and navigate challenges more effectively. Creating Supportive Environments : Recognizing the impact of sensory sensitivities, therapists strive to create environments that accommodate the individual's unique sensory needs. By minimizing sensory overload and providing sensory-friendly spaces, therapy sessions become more conducive to engagement and participation. In essence, monotropism theory highlights the importance of embracing neurodiversity and recognizing the inherent strengths and capabilities of autistic individuals. By aligning therapeutic practices with the principles of monotropism, therapists can foster a supportive and empowering environment that honors the individuality and potential of each client. Does Monotropism theory affect me? Curious about how your focus and interests shape your experience of the world? Take our Monotropism Questionnaire to explore how deeply focused attention patterns may align with autistic traits and strengths. The button below will take you to our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment . There, you'll be able to take our Free Online Monotropism Questionnaire and gain further insight. Monotropism Questionnaire BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY WITH US Understanding the dual impact of monotropism—its advantages and challenges—can profoundly transform neurodiverse relationships. At Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, we are dedicated to guiding couples through understanding and adapting to these dynamics, fostering a supportive and empathetic relationship. If you’re ready to deepen your understanding and connection, we invite you to book an appointment with us today. Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

When Criticism Feels Crushing: Understanding Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Does a small comment leave you reeling? Do you worry you've upset someone—even when they say everything’s fine? Do you pull away from people before they can push you away? You might be experiencing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) —an intense, fast, and often invisible emotional response to real or perceived rejection. You're not too sensitive. You're not imagining things. Your brain is doing exactly what it was wired to do—and you deserve support that honors that reality. Start Here: Take the RSD-24 Self-Assessment The RSD-24 is a fast, research-informed screener designed for adults who want to understand how rejection sensitivity shows up in their lives. It goes beyond a single score. You’ll get a personal breakdown across four key dimensions: Anticipatory Anxiety – Do you brace for rejection before anything even happens? Criticism Distress – How deeply do critiques or corrections affect you? Emotional Regulation – How long does it take you to recover from rejection? Social Withdrawal – Do you avoid situations where rejection might occur? Knowing which areas are most reactive can help you (and your therapist) tailor your growth and healing. ➤ Takes about 5–7 minutes ➤ Insightful, strengths-based results ➤ Designed with neurodiverse adults in mind Take the RSD-24 Now What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria? Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is not a mental health diagnosis—it’s a lived experience. Often seen in individuals with ADHD or autism, RSD involves: Deep emotional pain in response to perceived rejection Intense shame, anger, or shutdown after criticism A tendency to overthink, withdraw, or lash out—even with people you love It’s not about weakness. It’s about how your nervous system interprets social threat. And once you understand it, you can learn how to respond differently. How RSD Affects Neurodiverse Couples In a relationship, RSD can be a silent disruptor. When one partner has RSD, even neutral comments can feel loaded. A sigh sounds like disappointment. A pause feels like rejection. A suggestion hits like an accusation. And when both partners are neurodivergent, these misfires can multiply. You both end up hurt, confused, and further apart—without ever intending it. That’s the painful loop. But it’s not permanent. What We Can Work on Together At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center , our team of neuro-informed therapists works with individuals and couples navigating the emotional impact of RSD. Together, we can help you: Understand your RSD profile and where it's most active Practice self-regulation tools that actually fit your nervous system Learn how to give and receive feedback safely Rebuild safety, trust, and connection—without walking on eggshells Whether you’re the one living with RSD or the partner trying to understand it, you don’t have to go through it alone. Ready to Learn More About Yourself? It starts with one small, self-compassionate step. ➤ Take the RSD-24 Assessment ➤ Book a Consultation with a Neuro-Informed Specialist You're not too much. You're not broken. You're just wired differently—and we get it. Ready to Get Started? Click Here! Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Autism & Eating CHALLENGES, STRATEGIES, AND UNDERSTANDING THE CONNECTION. We are here to provide affirming and effective support for neurodivergent people around food and eating. Whether you are autistic, ADHD, highly sensitive, sensory processing differences, seizure disorders, OCD or otherwise identify as neurodivergent, you are in the right place. STRUGGLING WITH EATING We are here to help you/your loved one with food struggles like: Skipping meals Forgetting to eat Overwhelm/avoidance with grocery shopping General anxiety around eating Shame or guilt around eating Negative thought patterns around eating Negative thought patterns around body size/shape Feeling gross in your body during/after eating GI problems causing fear with eating Pain with eating or after eating Underfueling in athletics Binge eating Throwing up after eating Using exercise to compensate for eating Unable to eat enough due to fear of weight gain Unable to eat enough due to fear of vomiting or choking Poor appetite Lack of motivation to prepare food or eat food Obsessive thoughts or behaviors around food Anxiety around going out to restaurants Anxiety around family or social gatherings that involve eating Hiding food/hiding eating VULNERABLE, NOT BROKEN We are here to remind you/your loved one that… You are not broken. It’s common for neurodivergent people to get out of balance with eating. It doesn’t mean anything negative about you as a person. Neuro-different people are vulnerable to developing persistent problematic patterns with eating because of: differences in the nervous system, brain and body, and the impact of being a neuro-different person in a neurotypical world. These vulnerabilities include: Challenges with the practical aspects of eating due to: differences in executive functioning like time management and planning, differences in focus (like getting stuck in project mode and forgetting to eat), differences in motivation and reward pathways and differences in sleep/wake cycles. Challenges with identifying hunger cues due to differences in interoceptive awareness, body awareness and body attunement. Needs for specific foods and eating environments due to sensory differences, social differences and physical sensitivities. Overall higher anxiety and fear around food due to nervous system tendencies toward hypoarousal or hyperarousal, pain or GI distress with eating or after eating, and/or eating needs being unmet, invalidated, mocked or pathologized. Vulnerability to be influenced by parents, social media, athletic coaches or culture at large to follow restrictive diets due to pressure to ‘perform normalcy’ to be safe and accepted and the high drive to be good, excel at sports and/or optimize health. Vulnerability to become stuck in persistent problematic patterns with food due to the safety, familiarity and coping mechanisms these patterns can provide for a neurodivergent person dealing with loneliness, overwhelm, overload, rejection sensitivity, alexithymia, emotional processing differences, and feelings of inadequacy. Likelihood of failure or harm in traditional one-size-fits-all eating disorder treatment approaches that are not designed for neurodivergent people and lead to worsening issues with food and increased shame and hopelessness. HERE TO HELP Eating issues are rough. You deserve individualized support that actually helps you. We are here to support you/your loved one… CLIENT FOCUS Individuals (16+) in one-on-one therapy Couples where food/eating/body image is impacting the relationship Parent(s) seeking support to help their child (tween, teen or young adult) with food and eating. ABOUT US We are a team of clinicians dedicated to helping neurodivergent people struggling with food and eating. While there are common themes that we see with neurodivergent folks and eating, each of our clients is unique . We are eager to learn about your individual story and experiences with food. We draw upon a range of approaches including CBT/DBT, relational therapy, narrative therapy, somatic therapy, internal family systems, social justice focused therapy and family based treatment. We figure out together what works for you. Further Help If you’re seeking additional resources and specialized support for autism & eating, we invite you to visit our sister site, Eat Autism Therapy . At Eat Autism Therapy, our therapists focus on listening to your story & your journey with eating. Together we build an individualized plan for Eating Recovery as a neurodiverse person. We use your autistic strengths and traits to your advantage on your path to eating freedom. Visit the site to learn more about our services and how Eat Autism Therapy can make a difference in your life. Eat Autism Therapy Site! Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Autism & Cancer NAVIGATING CANCER WITH AUTISM: UNIQUE CHALLENGES AND SUPPORT Cancer can be a tremendous challenge for anyone. Yet, if you are autistic, you may face unique difficulties in dealing with the physical and emotional aspects of cancer. And, thus you deserve specialized support. We're here to help! Meet with our Client Care Coordinator AUTISTIC WITH CANCER: CHALLENGES Here are some challenges that someone with autism who is also dealing with cancer might encounter: Communication and Understanding: Difficulty in expressing and understanding emotions: People with autism often struggle with recognizing and expressing emotions. A cancer diagnosis can bring about a wide range of emotions, and individuals with autism may find it challenging to convey their feelings or understand the emotions of others, making it harder for them to express their needs and concerns. Communication barriers: Communication is crucial in cancer care. Individuals with autism may have difficulty with verbal and non-verbal communication, making it challenging to convey symptoms and preferences to neurotypical people. Sensory Sensitivities: Increased sensitivity to stimuli: Many individuals with autism have sensory sensitivities, such as heightened sensitivity to light, sound, touch, or smell. Cancer treatments, hospital environments, and medical procedures can exacerbate these sensitivities, causing additional stress and discomfort. Routine Disruptions: Adherence to routines: Individuals with autism often rely on routines for comfort and predictability. Cancer treatments, doctor appointments, and hospital stays will disrupt these routines, leading to increased anxiety and stress. Social Challenges: Difficulty in social interactions: Cancer can lead to changes in social dynamics and relationships. Individuals with autism may already find social interactions challenging, and the added complexity of cancer-related social situations can create additional stress. Coping with changes in relationships: A cancer diagnosis can affect relationships with family, friends, and caregivers. Individuals with autism may find it difficult to navigate these changes and understand the impact of the illness on their social network. Cognitive Challenges: Individuals with autism may feel overwhelmed by this flood of information. On the other hand, the autistic person may process medical information much better than her or his allistic partner and then get frustrated with the partner's emotional and non-rational response. (See relationship bullet above). Self-Advocacy: Difficulty in self-advocacy: Advocating for one's needs is crucial during cancer treatment. Individuals with autism may be conflict avoidant and thus struggle to assert their preferences, communicate discomfort, or express their needs effectively. Or such individuals may self-advocate in a way that is perceived as overly aggressive, and thus receive a hostile unhelpful response. Emotional Regulation: Emotional regulation difficulties: Autism is often associated with challenges in regulating emotions. Coping with the emotional toll of a cancer diagnosis, as well as the physical and emotional stress of treatment, can be particularly taxing in some unique ways for someone with autism. Limited Support Networks: Limited support networks: Individuals with autism may have smaller or more specialized support networks. It's important to ensure that their unique social and emotional needs are addressed during the cancer journey. ALLISTIC WITH CANCER: CHALLENGES Having cancer and being married to or partnered with someone with autism can present a unique set of challenges. Here are some of the potential difficulties: Emotional Expression: The partner with cancer may need emotional support that the autistic partner may find challenging to provide in traditional ways. People with autism may find it challenging to understand and express emotions, making it difficult for them to navigate and respond to the emotional rollercoaster that often accompanies a partner's cancer diagnosis. Sensory Sensitivities: The medical environment, smells, noises, and changes in routine related to the partner's cancer treatment may be overwhelming for the autistic partner. Routine Disruptions: Cancer treatment often disrupts daily routines , and individuals with autism often rely on predictable routines for stability. Empathy Challenges: The partner with cancer may require heightened emotional support, and the autistic partner may find it challenging to provide this support in a way that is perceived as empathetic. Coping Mechanisms: Both partners may have unique coping mechanisms that differ significantly. The partner with cancer may seek emotional support, while the autistic partner may cope through routines or specific interests . Thus, understanding and accommodating each other's coping strategies can be a complex process. Social Isolation: Autism can sometimes lead to social challenges, and the additional stress of cancer may exacerbate feelings of isolation especially for the allistic partner . Balancing Caregiving Roles: The partner with autism may have unique strengths that can contribute to caregiving, but challenges in understanding and responding to emotional needs may complicate caregiving dynamics . Advocacy and Healthcare Navigation: Navigating the complex healthcare system and advocating for the best care can be challenging. The autistic partner may find it difficult to engage in these processes effectively. GENETIC CONNECTION? Some clients wonder if there is a genetic connection between autism and cancer. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers. The relationship between autism and cancer risk is complex and has been the subject of various studies. Some research suggests that there may be a genetic overlap between autism and certain cancer-related genes, but this does not necessarily translate to a higher risk of cancer for autistic individuals. Lower Risk of Cancer? For instance, a study mentioned in Spectrum News found that people with autism have a lifetime cancer risk of 1.3 percent compared to 3.9 percent in the control group. This suggests that individuals with autism may actually have a lower risk of developing cancer compared to those without autism. Some cases of Higher Risk However, it’s important to note that the presence of comorbid intellectual disability and/or birth defects in individuals with autism spectrum disorders can contribute to an increased risk of cancer in early life. View the article here! Higher Mutations, Lower Risk It’s also worth mentioning that while some individuals with autism may have mutations in cancer-related genes, these mutations do not always lead to canc er. In fact, another study highlighted by ScienceDaily showed that although patients diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) have a higher burden of mutations in cancer-promoting oncogenes, they actually have lower rates of cancer. Talk to Medical Specialist While there is some genetic overlap between autism and cancer, the evidence does not conclusively point to a higher risk of cancer for autistic individuals. It’s essential to consider individual health profiles and consult with healthcare professionals for personalized medical advice. If you have specific concerns about health risks, it’s best to speak with your medical doctor or a cancer specialist. Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

M enopaus e a neurodiverse communication Do apologies seem to make things worse? Do you dread apologizing? Why do apologies go sideways in neurodiverse relationships?Because intent and impact get lost in translation. All couples fight. The happy ones are able to repair. Here are three apologies that backfire—and what to try instead: “Sorry you feel that way.” This dismisses impact and centers the speaker. Say this instead: “I can see I hurt you. That’s on me. Here’s what I’ll do differently tonight: put away my phone during dinner.” Why it works: Responsibility + concrete next step rebuilds trust. “The reason I did it is…” Explanations feel like excuses when pain is fresh. Say this instead: “First, I own it. I interrupted you in front of your parents. I’ll make a repair by naming it and apologizing in front of them.” Why it works: Ownership before context, and a specific repair offer. “I’m sorry, but you know how my brain works.” Neurotype is real, but “but” erases the apology. Say this instead: “My ADHD/autism made this hard, AND I still owe you follow-through. I’ll set a 6 p.m. alarm and text you a photo of the mailed check.” Why it works: Acknowledges neurotype + commits to an observable behavior. When you get apologies right, it’s a huge relief. But how do we learn to do this? Make your apologies neurodiversity-smart. Use clear, literal language. Skip sarcasm, hints, and loaded questions. Name the impact in the partner’s terms. Impact beats intent when repairing trust. Offer a micro-repair that is visible and time-bound. Think “what will my partner see by 7 p.m.?” Expect different apology needs by neurotype. Mixed neurotype pairs often misread sincerity and tone. That’s a two-way gap, not a character flaw. Build a shared repair script. Speaker: “I own what I did: [behavior] . I see it landed as [impact] . I will [specific repair] by [time] .” Listener: “Thanks for owning it. What I need most next time is [one behavior] . I’m open to hearing brief context later.” If apologies keep stalling, use a daily check-in ritual. Ask: “Any repairs owed?” Track it in writing so working memory and shame don’t hijack progress. Why this matters for ADHD: Relationships with untreated ADHD report higher conflict and shorter stability. Repairs must be simple, externalized, and scheduled. Bottom line. Don’t chase the perfect apology. Chase the measurable repair. If apologies keep missing each other, we can help you build a shared repair language that fits both brains. [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Jenny Pan Specialties Neurodiverse & Neurotypical Couples Counseling Complex PTSD Cassandra Support Divorce & Blended Family Work Parenting Autism and ADHD Betrayal & Affairs Recovery Work Multicultural Relationship Challenges LGBTQ+ Affirming and Relationship Support Life Experience Lived 15 Years in a Neurodivergent Marriage Before either of us had language for autism or ADHD, we struggled to connect across invisible neurological lines. I know firsthand the exhaustion, confusion, and deep love that coexist in neurodiverse relationships—and how understanding changes everything. Raised Two Neurodivergent Children in a Blended Family Parenting through sensory sensitivities, shifting routines, and co-parenting across households taught me empathy in action. Our family is beautifully complex, living proof that difference and connection can thrive together. Bridged Cultures, Languages, and Identities As a first-generation Taiwanese American, I learned early how to translate between worlds—Mandarin and English, East and West, expectation and emotion. That experience now guides how I help multicultural and neurodiverse couples find shared meaning without losing themselves. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT # 155590, Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Get Booked with Jenny! Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners References Chapple, M., et al. (2021). Overcoming the Double Empathy Problem. NIH/PMC. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8354525/ PMC Crompton, C. J., et al. (2020). Neurotype-matching… rapport in autistic vs non-autistic pairs. Frontiers in Psychology. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.586171/full Frontiers Driver, J. L., & Gottman, J. M. (2004). Daily marital interactions and positive affect during conflict. https://scottbarrykaufman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Driver-and-Gottman-2004.pdf Scott Barry Kaufman Ginapp, C. M., et al. (2023). The experiences of adults with ADHD in interpersonal relationships. NIH/PMC. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10399076/ PMC Lewicki, R. J., Polin, B., & Lount, R. (2016). An Exploration of the Structure of Effective Apologies. Negotiation and Conflict Management Research. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/ncmr.12073 Wiley Online Library Milton, D. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: the ‘double empathy problem’. Disability & Society. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09687599.2012.710008 Taylor & Francis Online Ohio State University News (2016). The 6 elements of an effective apology. https://news.osu.edu/the-6-elements-of-an-effective-apology-according-to-science/ news.osu.edu Wymbs, B. T. (2021). Adult ADHD and romantic relationships: What we know and need to know. PubMed. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33421168/ PubMed Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Most people diagnosed with ADHD as youngsters are told it's bad, and they're made to feel broken and need to be fixed. These same people grow into adults, thinking they are flawed and scatterbrained; this couldn't be further from the truth. There are many benefits of ADHD, and I think of people diagnosed with ADHD as having superpowers! 1. You're More Creative People with ADHD are often more creative than their non-ADHD colleagues. This is because they can see the world differently and easily live, work, and play outside the box! This creativity can be expressed in many different ways, such as through art, music, writing, or even how they approach problems. ADHD is considered part of the Neurodiversity Spectrum, meaning that people living with ADHD have a different brain wiring than neurotypical people. People with ADHD often have what's known as "divergent thinking." This means they see things from multiple perspectives and develop original solutions to problems. This is a valuable skill in any environment; however, it is advantageous in fields that require creativity, such as advertising, marketing, and design. 2. You're More Spontaneous ADHDers are spur-of-the-moment people. This means they're always up for trying new things and going on new adventures. Some people say that "spontaneity is the spice of life," and that's certainly true for people with ADHD! Think about all the positive opportunities that come with being spontaneous: You get to try new things, you are never bored, and you always have an exciting story to tell. Some of the best storytellers I know have ADHD; they embellish a story to make it relatable and entertaining. 3. You have Better Focus Despite what most people think, some people with ADHD have outstanding focus skills. When they're interested in something, they can tune out all distractions and zero in on the task at hand. Just imagine the ability subscribe to a level of hyperfocus on something you're passionate about! This focus can lead to high productivity and success in school, life, and work. Adults with ADHD often find careers in fields that require this type of laser focus, such as surgeons, athletes, and pilots. 4. You're More Energetic People with ADHD are known for having boundless energy. They're often described as "little balls of energy" or "human dynamos." And while this may seem like a negative trait, it's a huge benefit! That's because people with ADHD often have higher dopamine levels, a neurotransmitter responsible for arousal and pleasure. This increased level of dopamine can lead to higher levels of energy. And while this can be a downside at times (e.g., it can make it hard to focus or sleep), it also has its benefits. For instance, this high energy can be channeled into creative endeavors, physical activity, or other outlets. It's also one of the things that makes people with ADHD such great leaders. When you have the energy to take charge and get things done, other people naturally want to follow your lead. 5. You're More Resilient People with ADHD are used to being told that they can't do something or that they'll never amount to anything. As a result, they've become quite resilient and refuse to give up even when the going gets tough. For example, someone with ADHD might be told they're not smart enough to attend college. But instead of accepting this, they'll work twice as hard to get into the school of their choice and prove everyone wrong. Possessing resilience is a skill that can be beneficial in all areas of life. For instance, if you're resilient at work, you're more likely to get promoted because you're not afraid of challenging tasks. If you're resilient in your personal life, you're more likely to maintain healthy relationships because you don't give up when things get difficult. 6. You Live in the Moment ADHDers are present-oriented people. This means they don't dwell on the past or worry too much about the future. Parents of children with ADHD are often told to "enjoy these years because they'll be gone before you know it." And while this may seem like a cliche, it's true! People diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder tend to have a "live for today" mentality. They're not as concerned with what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow. Instead, they're focused on the here and now and making the most of every moment. 7. You're a Risk Taker Individuals with ADHD are also known for being risk takers. They're not afraid to try new things, take chances, or even dance alone on the dance floor! And while this can sometimes get them into trouble, it also leads to new opportunities and experiences. Risk-taking can lead to some amazing experiences, both good and bad. But overall, it's a trait that allows people with ADHD to live life to the fullest. Research shows that in the book "Five Regrets of the Dying," by Bonnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who spent the last twelve weeks of many people's lives with them as they lay dying; people are not sad about the things they did, but about the things they didn't do. So if you have ADHD and are feeling a little daring, go out and take some risks! No regrets!! 8. You're More Passionate ADHDers are passionate people who are not afraid to feel things deeply or show their emotions. And while this can sometimes be a downside (e.g., they might get too wrapped up in their work or a relationship), it's also a significant strength. Passion allows people with ADHD to be creative, unique, and successful. It's the driving force behind their risk-taking behavior and refusal to give up when things get tough. 9. You're a Good Problem Solver People with ADHD are often good at solving problems. That's because they're not afraid to push the proverbial envelope or come up with new and cutting-edge solutions to problems. This problem-solving skill is one of the things that makes people with ADHD such great entrepreneurs and leaders. They're not afraid to take risks or try new things, which is essential for any business owner. Just think what would be possible if people with ADHD helped solve the issues of the climate crisis, poverty, or world hunger! 10. You're Unique! There's no one else quite like you! Embrace your individuality and use it to your advantage. Allow your quirks to shine, and don't be afraid to be yourself. Many people with ADHD feel like they have to conform to societal norms and expectations. But the truth is, you're much better off being your authentic self. When you do this, you'll attract people who appreciate you for who you are. And that's the best kind of relationship to have in life. Conclusion While ADHD may come with some challenges, it comes with many benefits as well. Use these ten things as a reminder that you're not only exceptional, but also one-of-a-kind! However, everyone needs help sometimes. Working with a therapist who specializes in neurodiversity can be extremely helpful when it comes to understanding and navigating your experience with ADHD. When you're ready, our team is here to help. Get Matched With An Expert All the best, Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony , MA is a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #127882, Registered Associate Professional Clinical Counselor #10253, Transpersonal Coach, Author & Speaker. Click here to learn more about Barbara Lazarony. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule With Whitney Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Are you curious about whether or not you have autism/ADHD? Want to learn more about yourself and take the first step towards deeper self-understanding? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take An ASD/ADHD Screener Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Autism & Art Therapy WELCOME TO OUR ART THERAPY JOURNEY FOR AUTISTIC ADULTS Hello and welcome from Colleen Kahn and Stephen Robertson ! We are a pair of art therapists who specialize in neurodiversity, with a particular focus on autism. Our passion lies in the beautiful intersection of art and therapy , a space where expression knows no bounds and every stroke of a brush tells a story. We believe in the transformative power of art therapy to support autistic adults in their journey toward self-expression, communication, and emotional well-being. Ready to Get Started? Click Here! Through the use of paint, clay, collage, and more, our sessions are tailored to meet you where you are, in a safe and nurturing environment. THE THERAPEUTIC PROCESS OF ART CREATION Our therapeutic process is centered on the individual. Here's a glimpse into what you can expect: 1. Setting Intentions: We start by setting intentions for our session, focusing on what you hope to explore or express through your art. 2. Exploration and Creation: With different materials that you've gathered in advance, you're encouraged to let your creativity flow, exploring various forms of expression. 3. Reflection and Understanding: After the creation phase, we reflect on the artwork together, discussing the process, emotions, and discoveries made along the way. 4. Integrating Insights: The final step involves integrating these insights into your life, using the understanding gained through art to foster growth and wellbeing. A JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY In our sessions, we embark on a journey of self-discovery together. We begin by creating a space where you feel comfortable and understood. There's no right or wrong here, just the freedom to explore and create. We'll guide you through various art-making processes, encouraging you to experiment with different materials and techniques that resonate with you. COMMUNICATION BEYOND WORDS Art allows for a unique form of communication, one that transcends traditional verbal interaction. Through your creations, you can share your inner world with us, fostering a deeper understanding of your experiences, emotions, and perceptions. This non-verbal communication is particularly empowering for autistic adults, providing a voice to those inner feelings that might otherwise remain unspoken. CELEBRATING AUTISTIC ARTISTS Over the last decade, as art therapists have extended their work to the neurodiverse community (Autism, ADHDers, OCD...), we've had the privilege of witnessing the incredible talent and creativity. From vivid paintings that capture the complexity of emotions to intricate sculptures that tell a story, the art created in our sessions is a testament to the diverse perspectives and talents within the autistic community. JOIN US We invite you to join us in this journey of discovery, healing, and expression. Whether you're new to art or an experienced creator, our sessions are designed to provide a supportive space for you to explore and communicate in ways that words alone cannot capture. Together, we'll celebrate the unique perspectives and creativity that neurodiversity brings to the world of art. Ready to start your art therapy journey? We're here to support you every step of the way. Contact us to learn more about our services and how we can tailor the art therapy experience to your unique needs and aspirations. Together, let's harness the power of art to navigate the beautiful complexity of the human experience. Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

🧠 Highly Sensitive Person (HSP): A Deeper Understanding Do you often feel overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, or strong smells? Maybe you’ve been told you’re "too sensitive" or that you need to toughen up. If this sounds familiar, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). This trait, found in 15-20% of the population, describes individuals whose nervous systems are wired to process sensory input more deeply. Being an HSP is not a disorder —you won’t find it in the DSM. However, it plays a significant role in how people experience the world. Understanding this trait can transform relationships, helping couples and individuals navigate its challenges and embrace its unique strengths. 🔍 What is HSP? Highly Sensitive People possess a blend of qualities that make their experiences in the world different, including: Depth of Processing HSPs process all types of information more deeply than others. They are more reflective, often taking longer to make decisions because of their detailed thought process. This depth of processing includes both conscious analysis of conversations and unconscious gut feelings. Overarousability HSPs notice more than others in any given situation—be it emotions, noise levels, or even subtle smells. This hyper-awareness is advantageous but can also lead to overarousal and stress, especially in overwhelming environments. Emotional Intensity HSPs feel emotions intensely, both positive and negative. This heightened emotional responsiveness makes them empathetic, as they are more attuned to others' feelings. Sensory Sensitivity HSPs are highly sensitive to subtle environmental stimuli, which can help them notice potential dangers but also makes them more vulnerable to discomfort from loud noises, bright lights, or even certain foods. Risk Evaluation HSPs are excellent strategists and tend to plan ahead, carefully evaluating risks before acting. Their sensitivity tempers impulsive behavior, making them cautious adventurers 🌱 Helping Individuals with HSP For individuals, navigating the world with heightened sensitivity can feel overwhelming, but it also comes with a range of gifts that can be harnessed with the right support. Therapy for HSPs focuses on managing the challenges while celebrating the unique strengths this trait offers. Managing Overstimulation : One of the most common difficulties HSPs face is managing sensory and emotional overload. Whether it's loud environments, chaotic workspaces, or emotionally intense situations, HSPs can easily become overwhelmed. Therapy can provide practical tools for recognizing signs of overstimulation early and implementing coping mechanisms, such as taking breaks, finding quiet spaces, or practicing mindfulness techniques. Building Boundaries : HSPs often feel others’ emotions deeply, making them prone to taking on the stress or discomfort of those around them. Learning to set emotional boundaries is essential for preserving energy and preventing burnout. Therapy can help HSPs develop the confidence to assert their needs in both personal and professional settings, allowing them to protect their well-being without feeling guilty or selfish. Reframing Sensitivity : Many HSPs have been told throughout their lives that they’re "too sensitive" or that their traits are a weakness. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy or frustration. Therapy helps individuals reframe their sensitivity as a strength, highlighting how their empathy, intuition, and emotional intelligence can positively impact their relationships, work, and personal fulfillment. Handling Negative Feedback : HSPs are particularly vulnerable to criticism, which can be felt more deeply and linger longer than for non-HSPs. Therapy can help HSPs develop healthier ways of processing feedback, turning it into constructive learning opportunities rather than internalizing it as a reflection of their worth. Embracing a Rich Inner Life : Many HSPs have a vivid imagination and a deep connection to art, nature, and beauty. Therapy can encourage HSPs to embrace these traits as sources of joy and fulfillment, helping them cultivate practices that nourish their inner world, whether through creative outlets, mindfulness practices, or spending time in environments that inspire them. By working with a therapist who understands the unique needs of HSPs, individuals can learn to thrive in a world that often feels too intense. 🧠 HSP Overlaps with Other Neurodiversities HSP traits can overlap with aspects of other neurodiverse conditions such as autism or ADHD. For example: Autism : Both HSPs and autistic individuals can experience sensory sensitivities, though for different reasons. Autistic individuals may struggle with processing sensory stimuli, while HSPs tend to process stimuli more deeply on an emotional level. ADHD : HSPs may experience a similar sense of overwhelm in busy environments as someone with ADHD, but where ADHD might be characterized by difficulty focusing, HSPs are often over-focused on emotional and sensory details. Exploring these overlaps in therapy can help neurodiverse individuals and couples find ways to better understand each other and work together. ❓ Is Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) a Disorder? Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), the trait underlying HSP, is not a disorder but rather a natural variation in how the nervous system processes sensory information. While it can coexist with conditions like autism or ADHD, it is distinct in important ways: Empathy and Social Sensitivity : SPS involves high levels of empathy and responsiveness to social stimuli, traits that are often absent in conditions like high-functioning autism. This makes SPS more about deep social and emotional engagement rather than social difficulty. Attention Span : Although HSPs may be misdiagnosed with ADHD, they tend to have good concentration in quiet, calm environments. ADHD typically presents with a more consistent challenge in maintaining attention, regardless of the setting. Despite the challenges of overstimulation and emotional intensity, SPS offers a range of advantages, including heightened intuition, creativity, and empathy. For some, however, the trait can lead to vulnerabilities, such as anxiety or depression, particularly if they feel misunderstood or isolated. Therapy can provide valuable psychoeducational support, helping HSPs navigate these challenges while embracing their sensitivity as a strength. 🧠🧠 Understand Your Sensory Sensitivity: Get Expert Guidance with Our Sensory Assessment If you’re wondering whether your sensitivity might be part of a broader sensory processing pattern, you may benefit from taking the Sensory Processing Measure, Second Edition (SPM-2) . The SPM-2 is a widely recognized tool used to assess how individuals process sensory information in various environments, such as at home, work, or in social situations. What is the SPM-2? The SPM-2 measures different aspects of sensory processing, including how people respond to visual, auditory, tactile, and other sensory stimuli. It can help identify specific areas where a person may struggle with sensory integration, such as difficulty filtering out background noise or heightened sensitivity to touch. How Does It Relate to HSP? While the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) trait is not the same as sensory processing disorder (SPD) or other sensory challenges, there are overlapping characteristics. Both HSPs and individuals with sensory processing challenges may: Experience overstimulation in busy or noisy environments Feel overwhelmed by certain textures, sounds, or bright lights Require more downtime or space after social interactions However, HSP focuses more on emotional and social sensitivity , along with a deeper level of processing information, whereas sensory processing disorders tend to be more about how the brain interprets sensory input from the environment. How Can the SPM-2 Help? For individuals who are uncertain if their experiences stem from sensory processing difficulties or their HSP trait , the SPM-2 provides valuable insight. Under the guidance of our trained clinicians, this assessment can: Clarify if sensory sensitivities are part of a more significant sensory processing challenge Identify areas where targeted support might reduce overstimulation and stress Guide therapy to address both the emotional and sensory aspects of sensitivity, creating a more holistic treatment approach Start Your HSP Healing Journey with Nancy! As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) myself, I understand the challenges this trait can cause and would love to support you on your healing journey! More About Nancy 📝 Schedule Your SPM-2 Assessment Today At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, our clinicians are experienced in using the SPM-2 to help individuals understand their sensory profiles. If you’re interested in exploring how sensory processing might be influencing your experience, we invite you to take this assessment as part of your therapeutic journey. Contact us to schedule an SPM-2 assessment with one of our expert clinicians and start gaining deeper insight into your sensory and emotional world. 🧸 HSP in Children vs. Adults Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) traits manifest differently in children and adults due to differences in life experience, coping mechanisms, and social environments. HSP in Children Highly sensitive children often stand out early on. They may: React Strongly to Stimuli: Loud noises, bright lights, or crowded environments can overwhelm them quickly. They may cover their ears or retreat from overstimulation. Be Emotionally Intuitive: Even as young children, HSPs are highly attuned to the emotions of those around them. They can often sense when a parent or peer is upset, even if nothing has been said. Struggle with Transitions: Shifting from one activity to another, like going from playtime to schoolwork, may be particularly hard for HSP children, who need more time to process the change. Require More Downtime: After social activities, these children may need more quiet, alone time to recharge. For children, these traits can be difficult to manage without the right support. Parents and teachers often misunderstand their behaviors as shyness or moodiness, leading to feelings of frustration or isolation. Early intervention—whether through parenting strategies, school accommodations, or child therapy—can make a significant difference in how an HSP child learns to manage their sensitivity. HSP in Adults As adults, HSPs have often developed coping strategies for navigating their sensitivity, though the challenges remain. Adult HSPs may: Have Better Emotional Regulation: Over time, many HSPs learn how to recognize their emotional triggers and manage them more effectively. They might still feel deeply, but they’ve often developed ways to avoid being overwhelmed by these feelings. Face Workplace Challenges: HSP adults might find office environments particularly draining, especially if they involve a lot of noise, social interaction, or pressure to multitask. However, their sensitivity can also make them excellent problem-solvers and creative thinkers. Maintain More Balanced Relationships: With age, adult HSPs can better communicate their needs in relationships. They are likely to seek out supportive, understanding partners who respect their sensitivity. Still Require Alone Time: Just like in childhood, HSP adults need time to recharge after social interactions or stressful environments. They may schedule alone time or quiet activities to prevent burnout. The key difference between HSPs in childhood and adulthood is the level of self-awareness. Adults are typically more equipped to recognize their own needs and assert them, whereas children rely more on parents or caregivers to create supportive environments. Therapy can help both children and adults find the best ways to thrive in their personal and social environments. 📚 5 Great Books on HSP The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron - The essential guide to understanding HSP traits and learning how to embrace them. Learn more The Highly Sensitive Person in Love by Elaine Aron - A must-read for HSPs navigating love and relationships. Learn more The Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff - Practical strategies for managing emotions and boundaries as an HSP or empath. Learn more Quiet by Susan Cain - An exploration of introverts, many of whom share HSP traits, and how to thrive in a noisy world. Learn more The Highly Sensitive Parent by Elaine Aron - For HSPs who are navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood. Learn more Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Start Your HSP Healing Journey with Nancy! As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) myself, I understand the challenges this trait can cause and would love to support you on your healing journey! More About Nancy Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Cassandra Support The Neurotypical Experience WHAT IS CASSANDRA SYNDROME? You might be wondering about Cassandra Syndrome. In Greek mythology, Apollo grants Cassandra the gift of prophecy; the ability to foresee the future. He gave her this gift with the hope of seducing her but when Cassandra later rejected him, he placed a curse on her — her prophecies were never being believed. Even though Cassandra had the power to see the future and warn people of bad fortune, no one believed her. She felt dismissed and rejected, regarded by the townspeople as the town fool. This state of not being believed was the source of great pain and frustration. Similarly, many partners of those with autism feel that no-one believes how miserable their life has become, leading them to relate deeply with Cassandra's predicament. Thus, Cassandra Phenomenon (or Cassandra Syndrome) refers to the experience a non-autistic person (allistic) has in the relationship when: that person is experiencing ongoing trauma and is not being believed when they talk with a friend about the problems in the relationship with their autistic partner." So this is how we have the term Cassandra Syndrome which is a type of Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome (OTRS) . THE IMPACT OF CASSANDRA SYNDROME Your experience, like many other Neurotypical (NT) women in relationships with autistic men, can be likened to the story of Cassandra, which serves as a powerful metaphor. NOT BELIEVED When seeking support from friends and family, you may be met with disbelief and blindness to your pain. They only see the positive traits of your husband for the short time they interact with him. So they conclude that there is something wrong with you. Adding to your distress, when you turn to counselors who don't understand the ongoing impact of autism in a relationship, your story of trauma may be discounted or dismissed. EMOTIONAL DESERT We hear NT wives describe how their husband's struggle with empathy and focus on special interests leads to a breakdown of communication and never-ending disconnect. One client described her experience as: "It's like living in an emotional desert." This isolation often leads to anxiety and depression, along with physical symptoms such as digestive disorders and autoimmune diseases. Over time, emotional deprivation can have debilitating long-term effects. Deep resentment, burning anger, and a loss of self are common. HOPE As dark as the picture may look, it's important to know that recovery is possible. That is why we are so glad you are here! We would like to guide you step-by-step to hope and healing . How? We have a separate site, Believing Cassandra , dedicated specifically to those experiencing Cassandra Syndrome. There, we offer an in-depth look at this experience along with guides, answers, and therapy options specific to your situation. Click the button below to be directed to Believing Cassandra , now. Visit our sister Cassandra Site THE NEUROTYPICAL EXPERIENCE Because the person with autism does not have the same relational needs as the allistic partner, he or she is often unable to instinctively recognize the emotional needs of his or her partner and may feel ill-equipped to meet them. Relationships can thus form seriously dysfunctional patterns. RELATIONSHIP OF CONVENIENCE? People who do not have autism enter a relationship with the normal expectation that the priority of a relationship will be about togetherness, mutual terms and meeting of needs, but in reality, the relationship ends up feeling like one of practicality and convenience for the person with autism. For those who had typical expectations of the mutuality of marriage, there will be a sense of betrayal and a feeling of being used and trapped . Instinctively they know that their partner needs them, but feelings develop that the relationship is about the needs and interests of the person with autism and that there is no room for their own voice. We're here to help! STEPS & SOLUTIONS: VALIDATING REALITY The first step to start supporting the neurotypical partner is to sit with the reality of what life has become. To begin to grieve the dreams of what the relationship was "supposed" to look like. This usually takes the form of the following steps: 1. Sharing the story of how the couple got together. When the autistic partner is in the romantic phase, he/she can often turn a tremendous amount of focus on the neurotypical partner. This is what sets the stage for future disappointment. 2. Make room to share how the story went bad Usually no-one wants to hear the details of the broken relationship for fear of feeling sad or bad mouthing the autistic partner. You deserve to be heard and your pain to be witnessed. 3. Grieve for your losses Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was the first person to suggest that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of a loved one: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. The neurotypical partner needs loving support to gently work through all of her/his emotions. Once these steps are done, healing in the relationship can proceed with much less resentment. SELF CARE FOR THE NEUROTYPICAL It is important to realize that a person living with someone with special needs, also has special needs. A large portion of our work is to help the NT partner in some of the concrete ways listed below. Please know that it takes some effort to apply them in your life. And, usually, only about half of them work. Our job is to help you explore and find the ways that fit you best. 1. Focus on the Positives Appreciate the strengths of the autistic partner (which often included loyalty, stability, intelligence and independence), 2. Be Concrete with your Requests Learn how to communicate your needs in a constructive manner that can be received by your autistic partner 3. Focus on small, positive changes Don't expect big changes overnight or you will be disappointed and it will make it hard to stay on track. Imagine the smallest change possible that would signal a shift in how things have been going. Then focus on that. 4. Promise yourself that you will have a great future, no matter what. You can not control what your spouse does, but you can control what you decide to do with yourself and your children, if you have them. Take a deep breath and envision how you are going to create a great future, regardless of your spouse's choices. 5. Exercise your worry away. Take a walk, get some exercise to become more fit. Exercise can be a lifesaver. It helps to assuage worries, feel good about yourself and increase feel-good hormones like endorphins. 6. Do one new thing you enjoy. Don't become stale just because you are having a shaky time in your marriage. Novelty will stimulate your brain and maybe even your heart and help you have a more positive outlook about the future. 7. Prioritize quality time with your children or other loved ones. Be present. You will never be able to experience your children's childhood again, so do your best to be with them mentally when you're with them. 8. If you get off track, get back on quickly without self-blame .What separates the winners from the losers is not whether or how many times you get off track, it's how rapidly you get back on track. 9. Do activities that help you rediscover serenity. Meditate, pray, hike in the mountains or watch a sky full of shooting stars. 10. Be kind, even if you think your spouse doesn't deserve it. You may be angry, disappointed, or even devastated by your spouse's choices and actions. However, rather than react to unsettling behavior, assume your spouse is lost and confused. Be patient, kind and steady. SETTING CLEAR GOALS & DIRECTION Before we even start to think about overcoming the obstacles that are intrinsic to our relationship, and dealing with the problems that life gives us, it is very, VERY important to make sure we are clear on what specific actions we are taking , what we are optimizing for, and why. Before we begin solving "the problem", we have to first make sure we truly understand it. If we continue to act on the assumption that (for example) your partner hates you when the problem is that he/she hasn't eaten all day (or anything else), then we end up making the problem worse, not better. Conflicting Motivations Once we are clear on our direction and what we are optimizing for, it is important to make sure that we aren't unconsciously self-sabotaging the process. We may want closeness but at the same time be afraid of later disappointment. These conflicting desires can result in some confusing behaviors. Often, when people fail at this step, it's because they have a conflict between their outer desire and intent and their inner desire and intent. Let's consider another example, let’s say there is a partner who plays video games all day. On one hand, they want their autistic partner to become more interested in spending time together. But on the other hand, they might be terrified that attempting emotional connection may result in a painful fight. So it is understandable that neurotypical partners may unconsciously sabotage the little closeness that exists through complaints or negative comments so that they don't need to face the discomfort of changing the status quo. Managing Energy & Defensiveness People do the best they can with the emotional capacity they have. When they run out of emotional energy/capacity, the relationship dynamics go straight down hil l. This is based on at the science of Emotional Resource Theory & Defense Mode (an approach coined by a very helpful website, Asperger's Experts), It is helpful to get an understanding of the biological basis for fear, stress & overwhelm, and then delve deep into motivation and emotional capacity issues. With this in mind, as the neurotypical partner, it is essential to know when to step in and help your partner, when that action turns into enabling, and develop a framework for knowing how and when to request that your AS partner act differently. Communication and Trust Building Even though you will address this in couples work, it is important to have support as you learn to listen and talk in a whole new way so you can feel heard and listen better. You will explore what it takes for you to step away from conflict, to call time-outs without abandoning your partner. This is the step where we build connection and mend past relationship wounds. You will take a look at your own wounds that you brought into the relationship and find ways to express what you need in ways your partner can hear you. PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER Throughout this work, you will take the tools and experiences that we share and create a clear action plan. The goal is to be consistent and dependable. We will also discuss how to course correct when the plan is not working. Lastly, we will develop a maintenance plan so that the learning will stick, long after therapy has ended. If you are interested in therapy with a counselor who is highly trained in issues related to Cassandra Syndrome, you have come to the right place. We are proud to present our partner website, Believing Cassandra , which is dedicated to healing the Cassandra experience. CASSANDRA SYNDROME (CADD) & OTHER SYMPTOMS Many neurotypical partners often feel that they are sacrificing their own sense of self to help fulfill the priorities of the partner who has autism. They begin to feel that they are entirely defined by the role they fill for their autistic partner. There often is a felt loss of mutuality. This set of symptoms has been described in many ways: Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome (OTRS) Cassandra Phenomenon (CADD) Ready to start your journey to healing and understanding? Reach out today and see how we can help you find hope again. Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

You’ve been wondering for a while. You ’ve read a few articles. Listened to a podcast. And now the question is sitting quietly in your mind— Is my partner autistic? But you haven’t said it out loud. Not to him. Not yet. You’re afraid it’ll sound like a diagnosis. Or a criticism. So you keep it to yourself, feeling stuck. Here’s the good news— You don’t have to start with a label. You can start with traits. Does your partner take things literally? Avoid emotional conversations? Struggle with physical affection? Collapse after socializing? Seem distant during intimacy? Get easily overwhelmed by light, sound, or change? Feel crushed by criticism or rejection? These patterns are real. They’re measurable. You can ask him to take our "trait" screeners.It ’s often easier than asking him to take an autism test. You don’t need to say “I think you’re autistic.” You can just say, “These traits show up in our relationship. I’d love to understand them better.” That invitation can lower defenses. It’s not about judgment. It’s about clarity. We offer screeners that help identify the traits behind the behavior —Without pressure. Without jumping to conclusions. We offer a full range of screeners to explore autistic traits: CAT-Q – Camouflaging RBQ-2A – Repetitive behaviors and mental loops EDA-QA – Demand avoidance and control-seeking Monotropism Questionnaire – Deep focus and difficulty multitasking We also look at emotions: TAS-20 – Alexithymia , trouble identifying your own emotions OAQ-G2 – A second lens on alexithymia And we go deeper into areas that impact relationships: ABTI-24 – Burnout ASIM-24 – Sexual intimacy RSD-24 – Rejection sensitivity These tools don’t define a person. They help explain what’s happening. They give couples new language. You don’t need to chase a diagnosis to make progress. Start with traits. Start with clarity. And when you’re ready, We’ll help you turn insight into change. Click here to schedule a free consultation. Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Get Matched with a Therapist © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Maring Hinga Specialties Neurodiverse Couples Autism, ADHD, AuDHD Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse) Blended Families Cassandra Syndrome Support Somatic Therapies Internal Family Systems Trauma healing Life Experience Lived through a neurodiverse marriage that ended in divorce, gaining firsthand insight into the challenges of misaligned communication, emotional rhythms, and unmet needs. Over a decade into a new, hard-earned partnership, navigating the ongoing work of blending families, healing old wounds, and choosing connection over comfort—even when it’s hard. Brings real-world empathy to couples work, shaped by personal experience with both disconnection and deep repair, offering grounded support instead of quick fixes. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT #145908, Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Get Booked with Maring Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Behind the Mask in Neurodiverse Relationships 🎭 Do you wear a mask? Let's be honest, these days we all wear masks. We put on a certain face for the world as we feel the tension of fitting in. For people on the autism spectrum, this tension gets cranked up to the max. Picture this: You're at a party – the music's pumping, laughter fills the air. Mary, who is neurotypical, moves with ease, her personality shining through. 💃 Meanwhile, John, who is autistic, navigates this social maze with a rehearsed grace, each smile and nod meticulously planned to camouflage his true self. 🥸 This effort, a profound act of 'masking', isn't just for tonight but is a constant presence, draining John's energy and straining the couple's connection. If left unchecked, this dynamic could threaten the very foundation of their relationship. What does it mean to mask oneself? 🤔 For many with autism, masking is a survival strategy . The goal is not merely to blend in but to avoid the friction of social judgment. This adaptive behavior, while protective in the moment, demands a significant emotional toll, reshaping one's self-expression to meet external expectations, often at great personal cost. 😪 Understanding masking is more complicated than it may appear at first glance. There are different ways to mask: Compensation: This is where one adopts behaviors deemed acceptable , molding their actions to fit a normative social mold. Suppression: Here, natural behaviors are stifled , hidden away to present what is perceived as 'normal.' Assimilation: In this act, one performs scripts that align with societal expectations , often feeling alien to one's nature. Do you recognize these behaviors in yourself? Or in your partner? 💵 The Profound Costs of Masking Now consider the emotional and psychological toll: the constant energy required to maintain this facade can lead to anxiety, depression, and even physical symptoms due to chronic stress. 🤒 Over time, this sustained effort can erode an individual's self-esteem and sense of identity, impacting both personal well-being and the vitality of their relationships. Moreover, misunderstandings that arise from masking can create emotional distance, leaving one partner feeling neglected and the other overwhelmed, complicating their ability to connect and communicate effectively. 💔 What to do? 📊 Measuring Masking with the CAT-Q Taking the Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) is an essential first step for those aiming to explore the extent of autistic masking. CAT-Q Questionnaire Available at no charge on the Adult Autism Assessment website, this tool includes 25 questions and can be completed in 5 to 7 minutes. It assesses various dimensions of masking, breaking down masking strategies so you can gain a deeper understanding of these behaviors' emotional and relational impacts. 🗣️ Have the Right Masking Conversation Instead of focusing solely on the frustrations that arise from autistic masking, let's delve into what's truly happening beneath the surface. Moving away from blame, we can foster a supportive environment by openly discussing the underlying challenges of masking. 💬 Exploring insights from the CAT-Q results allows us to understand the pressures and strategies involved, helping to cultivate empathy and strengthen our connections in a more meaningful and supportive way. 🛠️ Tailoring Social Situations Adapting social settings to reduce the need for masking, whether by choosing less demanding activities or creating signals for needed breaks, can alleviate stress and enhance engagement. Get really specific. Be creative and experiment with new ways of approaching tough situations. This proactive approach allows both partners to feel more in control and less anxious about social interactions, leading to more enjoyable and meaningful experiences together. Couples who try this are amazed at the freedom and relief that they experience. 🏠 Creating a Supportive Home Environment How can we make our homes refuges where unmasking is not just safe but welcomed? By respecting personal space, allowing for stimming or other natural behaviors, and setting clear expectations, we build trust and reduce the daily stress for the autistic partner. A nurturing home environment acts as a foundation for growth and healing, where both partners can truly relax and be themselves, strengthening the bonds of love and understanding. Unveiling the Mask, Not Eliminating It 👫 The key to a healthy relationship in a neurodiverse partnership isn't about eradicating masking entirely. It's about fostering open communication and acknowledging the mask itself. Imagine the mask not as a barrier to intimacy, but as a layer waiting to be understood. Through honest conversations, you and your partner can explore the situations where masking feels necessary and discuss strategies for minimizing it. 🗣️ By discussing the results of tools like the CAT-Q , you can gain a deeper understanding of masking's impact and build empathy for each other's experiences. This awareness allows you to create a safe space at home where unmasking feels natural, fostering genuine connection and a stronger bond. Remember, masking can be a coping mechanism, but it shouldn't come at the expense of your true selves. Let's work together to unveil the masks, not eliminate them, and celebrate the beautiful authenticity beneath. Click Here To Match With An Expert All the best, Harry Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, PsyD Dr. Motro is a registered Marriage and Family Therapist #53452 and the Founder/Clinical Director of the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule With Whitney Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Are you curious about whether or not you have autism/ADHD? Want to learn more about yourself and take the first step towards deeper self-understanding? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take An ASD/ADHD Assessment Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Autistic Women WOMAN ON THE SPECTRUM? WE SEE YOU. If you are an adult woman who thinks you may be on the spectrum, we are so glad you are here. You have probably been overlooked and under-supported for years and maybe even decades. You may be struggling in your relationship but not know how to fix it. Sadly, feelings of being defective, lonely, confused and helpless may be all too common. Please don't despair. There is hope! On this web page, we will try to cover the basics of women on the spectrum but we invite you to connect with one of our neurodiversity specialists who would be honored to help you. Wondering if you have Autistic traits? Curious about how autism may shape your experiences as a woman? Take our Autism Screener for Adult Women to explore traits, gain insights, and access resources tailored to your unique strengths and challenges. The button below will take you to our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment . There, you'll be able to take our Free Online Autism Screener for Adult Women and gain further insight. Adult Autism Screener OVERLOOKED IN CHILDHOOD As the field of neuroscience continues to develop, there is an ever-increasing consensus among researchers that autistic women are dramatically undercounted. Well-intentioned, parents, teachers, and counselors often miss the opportunity to identify women on the spectrum. There are two major reasons for this unfortunate situation: REASON 1: GIRLS MASKING IN CHILDHOOD Even though girls may share many core traits of autism with boys, they often react externally to it in dramatically different ways. One difference in how boys and girls react is the degree to which they mask their autistic traits. Masking is when a person puts on a “mask” to look the way others expect rather than show up in the world in a way that is natural and genuine. You can think of masking as camouflage. In other words, wearing something on the surface so you will not be noticed, yet fearing that you will be discovered. As compared to boys, girls are more capable of “masking” their social deficits. One theory that explains this superior female masking capability is that girls on the spectrum have innate “social mimicry skills” which enable the girls to more easily "fake it". Unfortunately, the mimicry usually operates at a superficial level, causing the girls to still miss the deeper emotional understanding. Also, social masking is harder for girls to pull off than boys since neurotypical girls often have more nuanced social and emotional dynamics than boys. Furthermore, girls are often more motivated to mask than boys . There usually is less parental and peer pressure for boys than girls to make social connections, so the boys put less effort into it. The expectation for social connection can be intense for girls so they may put all their energy into “fitting in”, even though doing so may feel completely unnatural and leave the girls exhausted. In summary, girls on the spectrum may look different than boys in the following ways: Higher levels of pretend play. More mimicking of role models (without understanding the real social meaning). Suppressing natural tendencies (such as special interests) to fit in. Acting quiet or shy at school (to fit in) but melting down at home (due to the emotional stress of masking during the day). Special interests for girls may be focused on imaginary animals (unicorns), real animals, crafts, environment, appearance and celebrities as opposed to computers, video games and transportation for boys (although these commonly crossover). Suffer from emotional bullying as opposed to boys who experience physical bullying (again, these cross over). Girls are more likely to internalize anxiety leading to depression while boys tend to behave more aggressively or have meltdowns. For a more exhaustive list, see Tania Marshall’s blog. This masking behavior can come at great cost, creating a constant worry of “Am doing it right?” and “Will I be discovered to be a fraud?”; thus, leaving many autistic girls feeling highly anxious and emotionally exhausted. REASON 2: MALE-CENTERED CLINICAL RESEARCH & FOCUS There is a second reason that girls/women are overlooked for ASD diagnosis. Since the early days of recognition of what was called Asperger’s (now ASD), the research was largely conducted by male researchers on male patients. The fundamental assumption was that autism was primarily a condition that belonged to males. Accordingly, the criteria for diagnosing autism and the methodologies for assessment became biased to identify male clients. This framework leaves many women outside of or on the borderline of the parameters for a clear ASD diagnosis so they end up without a diagnosis and little hope for a healing path forward. Even worse, they may be misdiagnosed as having ADHD, Major Depressive Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. As expected, a misdiagnosis may lead to suboptimal treatment and extreme frustration and disappointment. DIFFERENCES & STRUGGLES Of course, young girls grow into women and the unequal treatment continues into adulthood along with the emotional struggles. Here are a few examples of how adult men and women present differently in adulthood: Adult autistic females are more comfortable than their male counterparts when interacting on a one-on-one basis. The women may often report that they have a few friends but would typically meet with them individually, not in a group. Men on the spectrum often report no friends. Adult autistic females are more likely to find a romantic partner , often putting a lot of effort (masking) in order to overcome loneliness. Men on the spectrum typically have more difficulty navigating the rules of romance, although this may be offset by lower expectations of romance from men. Adult autistic females are more likely to have the primary responsibility for parenting than autistic males. In spite of the pleasures of being a parent, children have never-ending emotional needs which can be confusing and overwhelming to a woman on the spectrum. STRUGGLES Given the forces that lead autistic girls and adult women to be overlooked and under-supported, many females believe that something is fundamentally wrong with them, thus feeling sad, lonely, and defective. These difficult emotions may lead to serious mental health conditions in women. In fact, studies show that women have more struggles than males on the spectrum including higher levels of anorexia, social anxiety, and self-harm. Still, men suffer as well, having a higher incidence of hyperactivity, conduct disorders, and stereotyped (repetitive) behaviors than autistic women. It is worth noting that these more typical male conditions are more visible and thus may contribute to the males being noticed, most often during childhood in the classroom, and thus receiving a diagnosis. We're here to help! Contact Us Now! Meet with our Client Care Coordinator FURTHER READING Consider: 'I was exhausted trying to figure it out': The experiences of females receiving an autism diagnosis in middle to late adulthood" Read about the experiences of late-in-life women diagnosed late in life. Finding the True Number of Females with Autistic Spectrum Disorder by Estimating the Biases in Initial Recognition and Clinical Diagnosis Could there be more females than males on the spectrum? The Female Autism Phenotype and Camouflaging: a Narrative Review For a deep dive into the Female Autistic Phenotype, check out this article. Physical health of Autistic Girls and Women: A Scoping Review Females with Autism: An Unofficial List Neurodivergent Minds This book is based on a paradigm-shifting study of neurodivergent women. Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Opposites attract. Until they attack!!! This opposite attraction shows up in our couples with the combo of an autistic and ADHD partner. This pairing brings both complimentary strengths and serious challenges . On one hand, the structure, focus, and stability of the ASD partner can beautifully balance the spontaneity, creativity, and energy of the ADHD partner. However, these same differences can also lead to significant misunderstandings and emotional friction, making it difficult to find harmony. The very traits that initially attract these partners to each other can also become sources of frustration and conflict if left unaddressed. So, what draws these opposites together, and how can they navigate the challenges that come with such a unique bond? Are You a Compass and a Kite? Imagine your relationship as a balancing act between a compass and a kite . The compass (ASD) is steady, grounded, seeking structure and predictability. The kite (ADHD) is full of energy, constantly catching the wind of new ideas and spontaneity. At first glance, these two forces seem to be at odds, but together, they soar. The compass grounds the kite, while the kite pulls the compass toward new heights. This isn’t just a metaphor—there’s real science behind why this works. Let’s dive into the reasons behind this attraction. 🧠 Why Do ASD and ADHD Partners Attract Each Other? 1. Complementary Strengths ASD and ADHD partners tend to complement each other in powerful ways. ASD partners provide structure, focus, and calm. ADHD partners bring energy, creativity, and spontaneity. This balance of grounding stability and exciting dynamism creates an irresistible pull. 2. Shared Sense of “Otherness” Feeling "different" often brings partners closer. Both ASD and ADHD partners know what it’s like to feel misunderstood by the neurotypical world. This shared experience of being "othered" creates an instant bond and deep empathy. They may have different struggles, but the emotional core of feeling different is the same. 3. Routine vs. Novelty: The Balancing Act ADHD partners thrive on novelty and constant change, bringing excitement to the relationship. ASD partners thrive on routine, providing the relationship with structure and predictability. Together, they form a balance where routine doesn’t become stagnant, and novelty doesn’t become overwhelming. 4. Filling in the Gaps Where one partner struggles, the other often excels. ADHD’s impulsivity is tempered by ASD’s careful, methodical decision-making. ASD’s hesitation in social situations is balanced by ADHD’s enthusiasm and energy to engage. This creates a teamwork dynamic , where both partners feel they contribute meaningfully. 5. Over-Functioning and Under-Functioning: The Dynamic of Struggle In many ASD/ADHD relationships, one partner often takes on the role of over-functioning , while the other falls into under-functioning —but this isn’t a fixed dynamic. The under-functioning partner is typically the one who is struggling the most at any given point, which means either partner can play this role depending on the situation. If the ASD partner is feeling overwhelmed by changes or social demands, they may lean into a more passive role, needing the ADHD partner to step up and manage things. Alternatively, the ADHD partner , with their struggles around focus, planning, and follow-through, may rely on the structure and routine provided by their ASD partner to stay on track. In the short term, this dynamic can feel balanced and even comfortable. One partner thrives in control, while the other enjoys the relief of having their needs supported. But over time, it can create stress, with the over-functioning partner becoming resentful or the under-functioning partner feeling overly dependent. Recognizing this pattern and addressing it early allows for a more mutually supportive and sustainable relationship. The Flip Side: When Attraction Turns to Dysfunction While these forces of attraction create a strong bond, they can also lead to dysfunctional patterns . Couples who come to us often feel overwhelmed by their differences, unable to navigate the friction between ASD’s need for stability and ADHD’s desire for constant change. These dynamics can easily create negative cycles that spin out of control. The very things that once attracted partners—one’s desire for routine and the other’s impulsiveness—can become points of contention. This is where our therapists step in to help couples unravel the dysfunction and turn these challenges into opportunities for growth. 🔄 EFT Perspective: Unpacking the Emotional Patterns of ASD/ADHD Couples From an Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) perspective, ASD/ADHD couples often find themselves stuck in destructive cycles of pursue and withdraw . Surface-Level Behaviors and Emotions Pursue vs. Withdraw ADHD partner : Often “pursues” for connection, seeking immediate feedback, attention, and emotional engagement. ASD partner : Withdraws in response to the sudden emotional intensity, feeling overwhelmed and needing time to process. Surface emotion : The ADHD partner feels ignored, while the ASD partner feels pressured and retreats further. Sensory Seeking vs. Sensory Avoidance ADHD partner : Enjoys rich sensory environments—loud conversations, bright lights, or high-energy activities. ASD partner : Tends to avoid excessive sensory input, easily overwhelmed by stimuli and retreating into quiet, low-stimulation spaces to recharge. Surface emotion : The ADHD partner may feel like their energy and preferences are being rejected, while the ASD partner feels overstimulated and retreats to protect their emotional balance. 🌱 Attachment Needs Lie Beneath the Surface Beneath these surface behaviors are deeper emotional needs driving each partner’s actions: ADHD partner’s deeper need: Connection and engagement : The ADHD partner seeks reassurance and emotional closeness, pushing for interaction as a way to feel valued and loved. ASD partner’s deeper need: Safety and predictability : The ASD partner needs emotional safety through stability and predictability, withdrawing to manage their sensory and emotional overload. 🔑 The Key to Breaking the Cycle Breaking this cycle requires recognizing and validating these deeper attachment needs . Rather than seeing pursuit as desperation or withdrawal as rejection, both partners can learn to understand these reactions as responses to deeper emotional needs. By working with these needs, couples can transform their relationship from one of frustration to one of understanding, empathy, and closeness . Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps couples identify and address these underlying emotional dynamics, turning conflict into a pathway for deeper connection. 🔦 Spotlight on Tamala Takahashi If your relationship feels stuck in the push-pull dynamics of ASD/ADHD, Tamala Takahashi is the specialist who truly understands both sides. Tamala brings not only professional expertise but also extensive lived experience with both autism and ADHD. She knows firsthand what it’s like to navigate the challenges and rewards of this dynamic, making her uniquely equipped to guide couples through their toughest struggles. Her Superpower? Tamala helps couples get to the heart of their relationship by addressing the deeper attachment needs that drive their emotional patterns. With her insight, you’ll move beyond reactive cycles like pursue and withdraw , and learn to foster connection that respects both spontaneity and structure. At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center , we help couples like yours find balance and connection every day, working through the unique dynamics of ASD/ADHD relationships. Take the first step toward a more fulfilling partnership. We’re here to support you. Warmly, Harry Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Think You May be Masking Your Autistic Traits? The Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) may be used to identify autistic individuals who do not currently meet diagnostic criteria due to their ability to mask. Take the CAT-Q Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

For Couples: Understanding the Highly Sensitive Person Do you often feel overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, or strong smells? Maybe you’ve been told you’re "too sensitive" or that you need to toughen up. If this sounds familiar, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). This trait, found in 15-20% of the population, describes individuals whose nervous systems are wired to process sensory input more deeply. Being an HSP is not a disorder —you won’t find it in the DSM. However, it plays a significant role in how people experience the world. Understanding this trait can transform relationships, helping couples and individuals navigate its challenges and embrace its unique strengths. 🔍 What is HSP? Highly Sensitive People possess a blend of qualities that make their experiences in the world different, including: Depth of Processing HSPs process all types of information more deeply than others. They are more reflective, often taking longer to make decisions because of their detailed thought process. This depth of processing includes both conscious analysis of conversations and unconscious gut feelings. Overarousability HSPs notice more than others in any given situation—be it emotions, noise levels, or even subtle smells. This hyper-awareness is advantageous but can also lead to overarousal and stress, especially in overwhelming environments. Emotional Intensity HSPs feel emotions intensely, both positive and negative. This heightened emotional responsiveness makes them empathetic, as they are more attuned to others' feelings. Sensory Sensitivity HSPs are highly sensitive to subtle environmental stimuli, which can help them notice potential dangers but also makes them more vulnerable to discomfort from loud noises, bright lights, or even certain foods. Risk Evaluation HSPs are excellent strategists and tend to plan ahead, carefully evaluating risks before acting. Their sensitivity tempers impulsive behavior, making them cautious adventurers 💑 Helping Couples Understand HSP For neurodiverse couples, where one partner may be autistic or have ADHD, integrating an HSP trait into the relationship adds complexity but also depth. Here’s how this dynamic can show up: Sensory Overload : HSPs can find environments or experiences that seem neutral to their partner overwhelming. Whether it’s a noisy event or an emotionally charged conversation, the HSP partner may need more downtime or a change in surroundings to cope with the overload. Their non-HSP partner, however, may not experience the same level of intensity and can feel frustrated or confused by the HSP’s reactions. Counseling can help each partner understand and respect the other’s sensory needs, finding a balance between stimulation and calm. Emotional Processing : HSPs are deeply sensitive to emotional shifts in a relationship. A tone of voice, a word choice, or even an expression can trigger strong emotions. In neurodiverse couples, this sensitivity can clash with a more direct or less emotionally expressive partner, like someone on the autism spectrum, who may be less attuned to these subtle cues. This can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Therapy can help bridge this gap, fostering communication that supports both the HSP’s need for emotional nuance and the non-HSP partner’s need for straightforward conversation. Conflict Resolution : Because HSPs feel emotions so deeply, conflict in the relationship can feel especially overwhelming. They may take longer to recover after arguments, need more reassurance, or even avoid conflict altogether to prevent emotional overload. This avoidance, however, can lead to unresolved issues. Neurodiverse couples therapy can provide tools for managing conflict in a way that doesn’t overwhelm the HSP, while also giving the non-HSP partner the space they need to express their thoughts more clearly. Building Empathy : On the flip side, the depth of feeling that HSPs bring to a relationship can foster a strong sense of empathy and emotional connection. Their sensitivity allows them to pick up on their partner’s needs, even if unspoken, which can create a more supportive and nurturing bond. Couples therapy can help partners use these strengths to their advantage, deepening their connection while also addressing the challenges that come with HSP traits. By creating a space where both partners’ needs are understood and respected, counseling can help neurodiverse couples find a new balance in their relationship. 🧠 HSP Overlaps with Other Neurodiversities HSP traits can overlap with aspects of other neurodiverse conditions such as autism or ADHD. For example: Autism : Both HSPs and autistic individuals can experience sensory sensitivities, though for different reasons. Autistic individuals may struggle with processing sensory stimuli, while HSPs tend to process stimuli more deeply on an emotional level. ADHD : HSPs may experience a similar sense of overwhelm in busy environments as someone with ADHD, but where ADHD might be characterized by difficulty focusing, HSPs are often over-focused on emotional and sensory details. Exploring these overlaps in therapy can help neurodiverse individuals and couples find ways to better understand each other and work together. ❓ Is Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) a Disorder? Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), the trait underlying HSP, is not a disorder but rather a natural variation in how the nervous system processes sensory information. While it can coexist with conditions like autism or ADHD, it is distinct in important ways: Empathy and Social Sensitivity : SPS involves high levels of empathy and responsiveness to social stimuli, traits that are often absent in conditions like high-functioning autism. This makes SPS more about deep social and emotional engagement rather than social difficulty. Attention Span : Although HSPs may be misdiagnosed with ADHD, they tend to have good concentration in quiet, calm environments. ADHD typically presents with a more consistent challenge in maintaining attention, regardless of the setting. Despite the challenges of overstimulation and emotional intensity, SPS offers a range of advantages, including heightened intuition, creativity, and empathy. For some, however, the trait can lead to vulnerabilities, such as anxiety or depression, particularly if they feel misunderstood or isolated. Therapy can provide valuable psychoeducational support, helping HSPs navigate these challenges while embracing their sensitivity as a strength. 🧑⚕️ Meet Nancy Rushing: Our HSP Specialist Nancy Rushing, one of our compassionate therapists, is a Highly Sensitive Person herself. She brings a deep understanding and unique insights into working with HSP clients. Her empathy and personal experience with this trait allow her to guide both individuals and couples toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships. 👉 Learn more about Nancy here 🧠 Understand Your Sensory Sensitivity: Get Expert Guidance with Our Sensory Assessment If you’re wondering whether your sensitivity might be part of a broader sensory processing pattern, you may benefit from taking the Sensory Processing Measure, Second Edition (SPM-2) . The SPM-2 is a widely recognized tool used to assess how individuals process sensory information in various environments, such as at home, work, or in social situations. What is the SPM-2? The SPM-2 measures different aspects of sensory processing, including how people respond to visual, auditory, tactile, and other sensory stimuli. It can help identify specific areas where a person may struggle with sensory integration, such as difficulty filtering out background noise or heightened sensitivity to touch. How Does It Relate to HSP? While the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) trait is not the same as sensory processing disorder (SPD) or other sensory challenges, there are overlapping characteristics. Both HSPs and individuals with sensory processing challenges may: Experience overstimulation in busy or noisy environments Feel overwhelmed by certain textures, sounds, or bright lights Require more downtime or space after social interactions However, HSP focuses more on emotional and social sensitivity , along with a deeper level of processing information, whereas sensory processing disorders tend to be more about how the brain interprets sensory input from the environment. How Can the SPM-2 Help? For individuals who are uncertain if their experiences stem from sensory processing difficulties or their HSP trait , the SPM-2 provides valuable insight. Under the guidance of our trained clinicians, this assessment can: Clarify if sensory sensitivities are part of a more significant sensory processing challenge Identify areas where targeted support might reduce overstimulation and stress Guide therapy to address both the emotional and sensory aspects of sensitivity, creating a more holistic treatment approach Book A Session 📝 Schedule Your SPM-2 Assessment Today At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, our clinicians are experienced in using the SPM-2 to help individuals understand their sensory profiles. If you’re interested in exploring how sensory processing might be influencing your experience, we invite you to take this assessment as part of your therapeutic journey. Contact us to schedule an SPM-2 assessment with one of our expert clinicians and start gaining deeper insight into your sensory and emotional world. 📚 5 Great Books on HSP The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron - The essential guide to understanding HSP traits and learning how to embrace them. Learn more The Highly Sensitive Person in Love by Elaine Aron - A must-read for HSPs navigating love and relationships. Learn more The Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff - Practical strategies for managing emotions and boundaries as an HSP or empath. Learn more Quiet by Susan Cain - An exploration of introverts, many of whom share HSP traits, and how to thrive in a noisy world. Learn more The Highly Sensitive Parent by Elaine Aron - For HSPs who are navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood. Learn more Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Start Your HSP Healing Journey with Nancy! As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) myself, I understand the challenges this trait can cause and would love to support you on your healing journey! More About Nancy Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel