Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you improve your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back Education & Specialties: Neuro-Inclusive Nourishment Specialist Bachelor of Arts in Psychology, Aurora University Certified Life Coach, Universal Coach Institute Client Focus: Neurodiverse women Individuals with Autism, ADHD, Highly Sensitive Persons Neurodiverse clients with eating struggles Neurodiverse couples Coaching Modalities: Solution-focused strategies Action planning Mindfulness techniques Motivational interviewing Journaling Cognitive-behavioral techniques My Story Hello, I'm Cassie Clayton. Since 2016, I've dedicated my career to supporting individuals on their journeys to recovery from eating disorders and mental health challenges. My path began as a Recovery Coach, inspired by my own experiences navigating recovery. Recognizing the profound impact of connection and support from those with lived experience, I've committed to helping others share their stories and find healing. Supporting Neurodiverse Couples At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, I specialize in working individually with a partner experiencing eating issues that affect their relationship. Understanding the intricate dynamics of neurodiverse partnerships, I provide tailored support to address these challenges. With your consent, I collaborate closely with your neurodiverse couples counselor to ensure our efforts are aligned, promoting healthier eating habits and enhancing relationship satisfaction. Neuro-inclusive Nourishment I am deeply passionate about empowering individuals to feel seen, heard, and supported without judgment. My empathetic, non-judgmental approach fosters an environment where you can thrive, receiving the encouragement and guidance needed to move forward. I specialize in helping clients articulate their visions, set attainable goals, overcome obstacles, and collaboratively develop actionable plans. In addition to one-on-one support, I've facilitated outpatient and Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) therapeutic support groups, creating safe spaces for clients to connect, process emotions, and reduce eating disorder behaviors. I prioritize meeting clients where they are and assessing their unique needs, ensuring that each individual receives tailored support throughout their recovery journey. Personalized Care In a world often dominated by diet culture and unrealistic expectations, I advocate for a personalized approach to healing one’s relationship with food and body image. I celebrate the uniqueness of each individual, understanding that there is no 'one size fits all' solution in recovery. With extensive experience working with young adults and adults facing body image issues and disordered eating, I am dedicated to helping you navigate your path to wellness. Whether your struggles have been ongoing or more recent, you deserve compassionate support and understanding. I invite you to share your story with me. Together, we can explore meaningful steps toward your recovery—because even the smallest steps can lead to significant change. Specialty Areas: Eating & Autism, Communication, Autism, ADHD, Emotional Intimacy Cassie Clayton Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Relationships can be challenging, and for neurodiverse couples, those challenges often come with unique layers of complexity. But here’s the good news—you don’t have to face them alone. For over 40 years, I’ve been in a neurodiverse relationship with my high school sweetheart. Together, we’ve navigated grief and loss, financial storms, and health crises, and we even separated for two years. My personal experience and advanced clinical training in counseling psychology equip me with a deep understanding of the joys and hurdles neurodiverse couples face. If you feel your relationship is on shaky ground due to neurodiversity, I’m here to help. Tackling Common Neurodiverse Relationship Challenges One of the most common patterns I see in therapy is communication struggles . Misunderstandings can escalate quickly when partners don’t know how to express their needs or interpret each other’s cues. I help couples identify the roadblocks in their communication and introduce strategies like active listening, open needs-sharing, and negotiation that pave the way for deeper understanding. Another frequent challenge is balancing emotional regulation . One partner may feel constantly overwhelmed or anxious while the other seems far more relaxed, creating a divide in how emotions are handled. Together, we’ll work on finding a middle ground—creating space for feelings without constantly trying to “fix” each other. “We are born in a relationship, we are wounded in a relationship, and we can be healed in a relationship.” --Harville Hendrix And then, there are the triggers . No relationship is immune to them, but in neurodiverse relationships, these triggers can be heightened, especially due to sensory issues. We’ll explore ways to identify each partner’s triggers and develop techniques to reduce overstimulation. Whether it’s through setting boundaries, creating calming routines, or practicing grounding exercises, we’ll find tools that work for you. In addition to weekly or twice-a-month therapy sessions, I also offer Couples Retreats and Intensives and ASD and ADHD Assessments. Couples Retreats & Intensives Struggling in your relationship? It’s time to take action. My couples intensives are designed to help you and your partner reconnect, heal, and move forward—quickly and effectively. Unlike traditional therapy, which can stretch over months or even years, intensives deliver meaningful progress in just a matter of days. Through a blend of evidence-based therapeutic techniques and intuitive guidance, you’ll work with me in person or over Zoom in a focused, immersive environment. Whether you’re facing the pain of trauma, stuck in unhealthy patterns, or standing at the edge of separation, these sessions provide a clear path forward. ASD & ADHD Assessments Neurodivergence is part of who you are. For clarity, neurodiversity-affirming assessments unveil strengths and foster growth, helping individuals thrive in a world that often misunderstands Autism and ADHD. I use this thorough, personalized process utilizing tools like MIDAS-2 and SRS-2 for Autism and CAARS and Brown EF/A scales for ADHD, alongside interviews and evaluations for meaningful results. It’s not just a diagnosis but a gateway to self-understanding and empowerment. Recognizing the challenges faced by neurodivergent adults, this approach celebrates individuality, unlocking potential, enhancing communication, and building social confidence. The goal is to help people feel seen and understood in daily life. These assessments aim to offer what many have wished for during their journeys by providing support that often feels out of reach. This process can be a transformative first step for those ready to pursue clarity and empowerment. Why I’m Different I’m Barbara Lazarony, but everyone calls me Blaze. I bring more than theoretical knowledge—I’ve lived this experience. My personal insights as someone in a neurodiverse relationship, combined with evidence-based therapeutic approaches, create a unique space for couples to thrive. Every couple’s story is different, and I’m here to honor yours. It’s not just about managing conflict—it’s about building a foundation of patience, love, and mutual understanding. My Back Story I'm a mature adult living out my third career; my first role was working in retail for twenty years, where I mentored executives and managed $2.5 billion in sales across 42 locations in the United States. I was uber-successful with a sassy job title and a large office overlooking Market Street in San Francisco. I loved it! But, little did I know back then that I was an overachieving workaholic, and the signs that my health was an issue couldn’t be ignored any longer. In 2003, I was told I had thyroid cancer, and I decided to resign from my job. Those were dark times for me; in addition to cancer, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). It was a journey, and I sought support from modern and holistic medicine, along with help from fantastic therapists and coaches. The truth was, I had no idea who I was or what I wanted out of life beyond my job title. As I was healing from cancer, I earned an Advanced Certified Integral Coach certification and started my own business. I loved being a coach for eighteen years but realized I could not help people achieve long-lasting success, fulfillment, and healing because I didn’t have the skills, training, and knowledge to get to the root of the issues holding them back. To support people in the way I wanted to, I decided to go to graduate school at the age of fifty-three and earn my Master's degree in Counseling Psychology. Since finishing my degree and earning my LMFT, I have navigated different types of cancer twice and supported my life partner through his cancer journey. And sadly, no one in the medical profession told me I had both an acquired and genetic form of neurodiversity; it took me a while to discover that my brain was wired differently. I know what it feels like to be different from everyone else! I am someone who understands the deep well of trauma and grief that needs to be acknowledged and validated in therapy. So, Enough About Me, Let's Talk About You... If you and your partner are navigating the challenges of a neurodiverse relationship, reach out today. You deserve a fulfilling and strong relationship, no matter what life throws your way. We’ll work toward clear communication, deeper connection, and lasting love. You’re not alone—I’m ready to guide you on this path. Specialties and Certifications Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist 151788 Neurodiverse Couples Specialist Certified Autism & ADHD Assessment Specialist Advanced Certified Trauma Specialist Advanced Certified Integral Coach Brainspotting Certified-Level I & II Life Experience Has personal experience in multiple neurodiverse relationships Worked with thousands of people as a Coach, Manager, Leader, and Mentor Former careers as an Executive and Business Coach, Executive Director in a non-profit, and Senior Director in retail-coaching people, as well as managing staffing operations and finances Education Bachelor of Science in Home Economics, Fashion Merchandising, The Ohio State University Master of Science in Clinical Psychology, Sofia University, also earned a Certificate in Creative Expression. More about Barbara (Blaze) Diagnosed as Neurodiverse 20 years ago Offers Neurodiverse Couples Retreats Married for 35+ years to her high school sweetheart, together for 40 years Cancer Survivor -3 times! Specialty Areas: Assessment, Sex/Physical Intimacy, Kink/Poly-Affirmed, Discernment, Neurodiverse Couples, Autism, Cassandra Syndrome, Couples Retreats/Intensives, Brainspotting, Emotional Intimacy, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Blaze Lazarony Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Amanda is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a mother of 4, plus 2 children from a blended partnership. She is currently working towards the completion of her doctoral degree in counseling education and supervision. Amanda specializes in working with couples and individuals who want to strengthen their lives and relationships through positive communication, conflict management, and improvement in intimacy as well as self-care, so they are able to continue to care for others. Using a non-judgmental, strength-based approach, Amanda guides couples in finding solutions to problems, while also maintaining a safe and supportive space where couples can communicate safely and openly about the fears that paralyze them, such as fear of loss, disappointment, rejection, and loss of self. Neurodiverse Couples Communication is important in every relationship, and it can be particularly challenging for a neurodiverse couple. Amanda believes that it is vital to identify solid communication strategies between partners, using specific techniques for handling relationship troubles, whether perpetual or solvable. These techniques encourage the understanding that emotions are important, there is no absolute reality, only two subjective ones, acceptance is crucial, and a development of fondness and admiration within the relationship. Amanda encourages couples to celebrate the small steps towards a larger goal and helps keep focus on what the couple can do to set themselves up to thrive. Parenting Neurodiverse Children Amanda has personal experience as a mother of a neurodivergent 13 year old, working through the white waters of concern for her child’s behavior and development, receiving the diagnosis of neurodiversity, and wondering what it means to parent a child who is neurodiverse. Parenting neurodivergent children can be exponentially intense. Amanda teaches parents positive parenting skills that encourage the use of “Why?” to address the child’s behavior, focusing on an understanding of the purpose that behavior serves the child and what they are trying to tell you. Allowing the behavior to inform what needs to be put into place ahead of time to help the child manage the particular challenge, and also ensuring that consequences are related to the behavior/issue as a last resort to addressing behavior. Amanda encourages parents to catch their child’s positive behaviors whenever possible and to name specifically what they see so as to encourage the positive behavior to reoccur. Other areas of focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): Addiction Affair Recovery Major Life Transition Support, co-parenting, blended families, separation/divorce Parent Coaching Sex Therapy Clients: Couples and families Modalities: Coaching Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) Gottman Method Internal Family Systems (IFS) Solution Focused Brief (SFBT) Strength-Based Structural Family Therapy License: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT #150002 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc. Specialty Areas: Neurodiverse Couples, Cassandra Syndrome, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Sex/Physical Intimacy, Intimate Partner Violence, Christian, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Amanda Silvester Take an Autism Test

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Adela Stone Not accepting new clients See our other clinicians or Fill our our contact form to get matched Adela is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who graduated with an MA in Clinical Counseling. She also has a Master’s degree in Journalism which she received in Europe where she is from. She speaks three languages and understands the need to tailor therapy based on cultural backgrounds. Her experience as an immigrant helps Adela to empathize with her client’s life challenges, and her early parental and spousal losses enable her to connect with others in mourning. It has also boosted her resilience and given her a worldview atypical for her age. She has gone through a big marital challenge herself during her current second marriage and has undergone couples therapy. She is now a part of a blended family which enables her to understand some of the tricky dynamics of step parenting. NEURODIVERSE COUPLES: The most common complaint of a neurotypical person in partnership with a neurodiverse person is the partner's rigidity. Often, the individuals in this type of relationship suffered attachment injuries. Making Sense of Differences I can help you shed light on some of your partner's behaviors and make sense of the hurt, misunderstanding and resentment you may feel. It is normal to go through grieving: for the past of your relationship that wasn't neurotypical as well as for the future of your union that will be always be a bit different. Your brains aren't wired the same way. Neuroscience research show us that People with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) may appear stuck or have shutdowns or meltdowns because they are often in a state of overwhelm in which someone with Asperger's is scared, frustrated, or angry, as well as withdrawn. This state is often referred to as Defense Mode. Defense Mode I can help you understand the Defense Mode that a neurodivergent person often employs so that you can help yourself or your partner from shutting down so often. Perhaps you know what the signs of Defense Mode are by now. The neurodivergent partner isn't trying to be mean. In fact, they are doing the best they can with the emotional resources they have, AND they can do better: for the sake of both of you as human beings worthy of love and acceptance, and for the sake of the future of your relationship. There are ways to help yourself or your loved one come out of Defense Mode. The two fundamental ones center around decompression time and trust building which is comprised of four necessary pillars that we can work on putting together. Your partner isn't being willful. Their definition of an issue you are dealing with just isn't the same as yours. Listening to Understand Talking in order to connect is a basic human need but we need to have a common shared understanding first. The message about what this shared understanding actually is can get blurred or corrupted. If you have a common language you can define shared values and shared expectations. Remember that forcing a conversation will lead nowhere. We can work on how to ensure an important conversation does take place though. I'm sure you know listening is important but are you actually using efficient and respectful listening with your partner? If you are, both of you will experience less frustration. Listen to understand, not to form a defensive retort in your mind as they speak. Understand what it is like to be them. I get that it isn't fair to you, the neurotypical partner, it feels as though you are doing all the work. I agree, it isn't fair but you are in a partnership and are here so I assume you do want to try. I am in the business of hope and positivity and would like to offer you some. I have seen neurodiverse marriages succeed. Other areas of focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): Healthy Grieving as a Couple Couples going through life transitions Co-parenting Kink-aware couples therapy Couples with mismatched sexual desires LGBTQIA+ ally Differences in sexual taste and style Guidance through nonmonogamy/polyamory Blended families/step families Languages: Fluent in Czech, French and English Clients: Couples, Families, Young Adults Modalities: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness-based Therapy, Gestalt, Positive Psychology, Existential Therapy, Art Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy. License: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT #143787, APCC #9260 Specialty Areas: Sex/Physical Intimacy, Kink/Poly-Affirmed, Neurodiverse Couples, Cassandra Syndrome, DBT, Intimate Partner Violence, Blended Families, Emotional Intimacy, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Not Accepting New Clients Adela Stone Take an Autism Test

Holiday stress neurodiverse couples Holidays amplify everything. The warmth. The noise. The expectations. Set your shared expectations. Connection over perfection. Plan ahead for road bumps. Pick a pause signal. Two taps. Hand on the table. When it shows up, pause. No debate. Take a break and find a place to talk. Map the sensory load ahead of time. List hotspots: noise, lights, smells, touch, crowds. Plan supports: earbuds, softer lighting, layers, step-out spot, fidget. Exit and return. Regulate, don’t apologize. Pace the day. Anchor plans to events, not the clock. “After pie, we call your sister.” “Before we leave, we take a walk without family.” Keep talks small. Fifteen minutes. One topic. One decision. Handle monologues kindly. Agree on a cue. A light touch on the watch. A finger on the napkin. Speaker lands the point. “Thanks for the cue—I’m wrapping up.” Then invite others in. Different styles. A shared plan. Gratitude without gaslighting. Say what happened. Communicate feelings. Express appreciation for effort. “I see that you tried the plan. I’m disappointed, but I am grateful you tried. I know the room was loud.” Truth plus gratitude. Repair with dignity. Repair script. Speaker: “I own [behavior]. It landed as [impact]. I’ll do [specific repair] by [time].” Listener: “Thanks for owning it. What I need next time is [one behavior].” Short. Concrete. Family dynamics. Decide your lines. Topics to skip. How to step away. How to leave early. Tag-team. One leads. One scans the room. Switch every 30 minutes. Debrief fast. On the drive home. Three easy questions: What helped? What was hard? What we’ll do differently? Write it down. Try it next time. Why this works: Mixed-neurotype couples often misread each other. It’s not bad character. It’s different processing. Clear signals and repeatable supports break the loop. Ready to carry these habits year-round? [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Lea Choi Specialties · Neurodiverse Couples Counseling · ADHD & Autism Relationship Coaching · Emotional Regulation · Executive Functioning Support · Complex Parenting Challenges · Multicultural & Intercultural Relationships · LGBTQIA+, Poly & Kink-Affirming · Identity & Self-Exploration Life Experience Lived Experience as AuDHD and in a Neurodiverse Relationship – Navigated firsthand the challenges of differing communication styles, sensory needs, and emotional processing. Bridging the Gap Between Neurotypes – Learned how to shift from misinterpretation and frustration to mutual understanding and connection. From Isolation to Communication – Overcame years of feeling unseen by developing relationship strategies that work for both partners, not just one. Reframing Love & Connection – Discovered that love isn’t always verbal—it can be expressed through small, meaningful actions. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT # 151193 , Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Learn More about Lea! Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners References Crompton, C. J., Hallett, S., Ropar, D., Flynn, E., & Fletcher-Watson, S. (2020). Neurotype-matching, but not being autistic, influences self- and observer-ratings of interpersonal rapport. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 586171. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.586171/full Driver, J. L., & Gottman, J. M. (2004). Daily marital interactions and positive affect during marital conflict among newlywed couples. Family Process, 43(3), 301–314. https://scottbarrykaufman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Driver-and-Gottman-2004.pdf Hull, L., Mandy, W., Lai, M.-C., Baron-Cohen, S., Allison, C., Smith, P., Petrides, K. V., & Cassidy, S. (2019). Development and validation of the Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q). Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 49(3), 819–833. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6394586/ Johns Hopkins Medicine. (2023). Minimizing holiday stress for children with autism. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/stress-management-important-at-any-age/minimizing-holiday-stress-for-children-with-autism MacLennan, K., O’Donnell, M., Lorenz, L., & Heasman, B. (2021). The complex sensory experiences of autistic adults. Autism in Adulthood, 3(4), 328–338. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9213348/ Milton, D. E. M. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: The “double empathy problem.” Disability & Society, 27(6), 883–887. https://kar.kent.ac.uk/62639/1/Double%20empathy%20problem.pdf Patil, O., Nagamatsu, C., & Connolly, J. D. (2023). Sensory processing differences in individuals with autism spectrum disorder: Evidence from electrophysiological markers. Frontiers in Neuroscience, 17, 1191945. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10687592/ Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Frequently Asked Questions Tip: Want more resources? 📄 See our Quick Fact Sheet for a short, skimmable overview of our services. 📖 Read our in-depth Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Article for a full overview of challenges, therapy approaches, and more. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS 1. What is neurodiverse couples counseling? Answer: Neurodiverse couples counseling is therapy designed for relationships where one or both partners are autistic, ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergent. It focuses on improving communication, building emotional safety, and helping partners understand each other’s unique ways of thinking and feeling. Unlike traditional counseling, this approach uses strategies that account for neurological differences so couples feel understood and supported. 2. Can autistic or ADHD partners feel empathy and love? Answer: Yes. Autistic and ADHD partners are fully capable of empathy and love. They may simply express or process emotions differently. This difference is sometimes misunderstood as “lacking empathy,” but in reality, it’s about a mismatch in communication styles. Therapy helps both partners recognize and share empathy in ways that strengthen connection. 3. What is the Double Empathy Problem? Answer: The Double Empathy Problem describes how both autistic and neurotypical partners can struggle to understand each other’s perspectives. It’s not a “deficit” in one person—it’s a two-way misunderstanding caused by different communication and emotional styles. Counseling helps bridge this gap so both partners feel heard and valued. 4. What challenges bring neurodiverse couples to therapy? Answer: Common reasons include recurring conflicts about “tone” or chores, emotional distance, sensory overload, mismatched needs for intimacy, parenting struggles, or feeling like you’re speaking “different languages.” These challenges don’t mean your relationship is broken—they mean you may need tools built specifically for neurodiverse partnerships. 5. How does therapy for neurodiverse couples work? Answer: We focus on eliminating unhelpful patterns, creating emotional safety, and building a roadmap toward closeness. Sessions may involve the couple together, plus individual support for each partner. Our therapists teach practical strategies to improve communication, manage conflict, and reconnect —without blame, pressure, or trying to “fix” one person. 6. What makes your approach different from traditional couples therapy? Answer: Traditional therapy often overlooks neurodiversity, sometimes even suggesting autistic partners can’t feel empathy or love. We reject that myth. Our team customizes every counseling plan to the unique needs of each couple—we don’t believe in one-size-fits-all therapy. While many traditional approaches overlook neurodiversity, we design our methods specifically for autistic and ADHD partners and their loved ones. Three things set us apart: Ongoing Specialized Training – Every therapist receives weekly training on neurodiversity-focused content, ensuring our approaches stay current and effective. Collaborative Case Support – We hold weekly case consultations and supervision so that no couple’s challenges are handled in isolation—your therapist has a full team behind them. Continuous Professional Growth – All team members pursue ongoing continuing education in neurodiverse relationships, keeping us at the forefront of best practices. In addition, we use a strengths-based, solution-focused model that emphasizes safety, communication, and mutual understanding. With your permission, we may integrate a couples therapist plus individual therapists for each partner, coordinating care so both partners feel fully supported. 7. What if one partner isn’t sure about being autistic or ADHD? Answer: That’s okay. A formal diagnosis isn’t required to start. Many couples come to us simply because they notice “different wiring” is affecting communication and connection. Therapy works whether or not a diagnosis is in place—and if desired, we can help California residents explore assessments for autism or ADHD. 8. Will this type of counseling actually help our relationship? Answer: Yes. Research shows that solution-focused therapy helps couples shift away from blame and toward problem-solving and emotional connection (McDowell et al., 2023). Many neurodiverse couples who work with us report more trust, less conflict, and a stronger bond over time. Change is usually gradual, but very possible. 9. How long does it take to see progress? Answer: Many couples feel relief within the first few sessions once they understand their patterns and learn new strategies. Meaningful progress takes time, but with consistency, couples often notice more empathy, teamwork, and closeness after just a few months. 10. Who do you work with? Answer: We support neurodiverse couples nationwide through online therapy or coaching. 11. Do you take insurance? Answer: No, we are a private-pay practice. For California therapy clients, we can provide superbills for possible out-of-network reimbursement. Please note that coaching services (all clients outside California) are not covered by insurance. 12. What if we’re in crisis? Answer: While we are here to help, we are not a crisis service. If you are in immediate danger, please call 911. For urgent mental health support, dial or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. LEARN MORE 📖 Read our in-depth Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Article for a full overview of challenges, therapy approaches, and more. 📄 See our Quick Fact Sheet for a short, skimmable overview of services. Last reviewed: Aug 22, 2025 • Author: Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT (Clinical Director) GETTING STARTED We would love to create a safe place for you to break the painful patterns of the past and communicate in a new way. Please fill out our contact form and we will be glad to connect you with one of our team members. Mitchell, P., Sheppard, E., & Cassidy, S. (2021). Autism and the double empathy problem: Implications for development and mental health. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 39(1), 1–18. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjdp.12350 Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

OCD & Autism EXPLORING THE OVERLAP OF NEURODIVERGENT EXPERIENCES Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) often intersects with neurodivergent conditions such as Autism and ADHD, creating a complex web of intertwined experiences. Recognizing and understanding these intersections is crucial for providing tailored support that meets your needs. Research indicates that a significant number of Autistic individuals, up to 37%, also grapple with OCD . The manifestation of OCD in Autistic individuals varies widely, necessitating a nuanced approach to diagnosis and treatment. The intersection of OCD and Autism presents challenges affecting daily life, impacting sensory experiences, routines, and social interactions. WHAT IS OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER? OCD is characterized by persistent, distressing thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive actions (compulsions) aimed at alleviating the anxiety associated with these thoughts. Compulsions, ranging from visible rituals to internal mental processes, serve as temporary solutions but can intensify anxiety in the long run. Treatment typically involves therapy, such as exposure and response prevention (ERP), and, in some cases, medication. OCD & ADHD: The co-occurrence of OCD and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is not uncommon, with research suggesting prevalence rates from 8% to 30% . Shared genetic and neurobiological factors , coupled with challenges in executive functioning, contribute to the complex interaction between OCD and ADHD. Navigating life with both conditions presents a unique puzzle, where ADHD can influence how OCD manifests, and OCD can exacerbate ADHD-related cognitive control difficulties. IMPORTANT DIFFERENCES Distinguishing between ADHD, Autism, and OCD is crucial for providing accurate support. Compulsions vs. Autistic Rituals vs. ADHD Compensation. Understanding compulsions, a core aspect of OCD, is key. Compulsions i n OCD are anxiety-driven actions aimed at mitigating obsessive fears and/or unwanted thoughts. Help strategy: Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), is often considered the most effective psychological treatment for OCD. ERP involves exposing individuals to situations that trigger their obsessions while preventing the accompanying compulsive response. Over time, this helps to break the cycle of anxiety and compulsive behaviors. Autistic rituals arise from a desire for predictability, sensory sensitivities and self-soothing. These behaviors usually help autistics self-regulate and are NOT related to unwanted thoughts. Disruption of the ritual causes anxiety but the ritual was created as a result of anxiety. Help strategy: The goal when working with autistic rituals is to explore ways of building the rituals into one's life in the best way possible. Our therapists can help you walk through your daily schedule to consider which rituals are functioning and which are not. We will also help you clearly communicate your needs relating to rituals to others. ADHD compensation strategies are used to address difficulties in executive functioning. This could include struggles with recall, focus or organization. For example, repetitive checking that the garbage was taken out is a learned behavior tied to the many times the garbage was not taken out. Help strategy: Our approach to help focuses on establishing effective systems or routines to navigate the challenges posed by ADHD. BONUS QUESTION: IS OCD CONSIDERED NEURODIVERGENCE? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is often considered a form of neurodivergence, falling within the umbrella of conditions that deviate from the perceived norm in terms of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral functioning. Alongside conditions such as Autism, ADHD, and Dyslexia, OCD represents a unique facet of neurodiversity. THE PERMANENT VS. SITUATIONAL DEBATE The ongoing debate regarding whether OCD is a permanent aspect of one's neurology or a situational form of neurodivergence adds complexity to our understanding. Unlike some neurodivergent conditions perceived as lifelong traits, OCD exhibits a distinct characteristic – its responsiveness to treatment. Approximately 50% of individuals diagnosed with OCD may experience persistent symptoms, but these symptoms can fluctuate, intensifying during periods of increased anxiety. THE RESPONSIVE NATURE OF OCD The responsive nature of OCD to treatment challenges a rigid classification. This observation raises the question of whether OCD is an inherent neurotype or a condition that one might have at certain times and not at others. The answer varies among individuals, with some perceiving OCD as a lifelong aspect of their neurology, while others view it as a condition that can be managed or altered over time. NAVIGATING THE NUANCES: The nuanced nature of this debate highlights the importance of considering individual experiences within the broader framework of neurodiversity. While some aspects of neurodivergence are often considered inherent and enduring, the responsive nature of OCD to treatment suggests that, for some, OCD may be more situational, influenced by environmental factors and stressors. PERSONAL PERSPECTIVES ON OCD How individuals define their relationship with OCD is deeply personal. Some describe their experience as "having OCD," viewing it as a condition they manage and treat. Others see it as an integral part of their neurotype, shaping their identity and interactions with the world. Embracing this diversity in perspectives allows for a more comprehensive and empathetic understanding of how individuals navigate their unique journeys with conditions like OCD. EMPOWERING APPROACHES TO CHALLENGES The key lies in finding a way to frame the experience with authenticity, empowering individuals to approach challenges with understanding, gentleness, and hope. Embracing the diversity of perspectives underscores the multifaceted nature of OCD and the broader spectrum of neurodivergence. This approach fosters a deeper appreciation for the unique journeys individuals undertake in navigating conditions like OCD. NEXT STEPS Our first step in helping you is to clearly understanding what is driving your behavior. We will take an individualized approach to understand whether OCD, autism or ADHD (or a combination) are at play, and then work with you to develop a treatment plan. To take the next step, please fill out our contact form. Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Most people diagnosed with ADHD as youngsters are told it's bad, and they're made to feel broken and need to be fixed. These same people grow into adults, thinking they are flawed and scatterbrained; this couldn't be further from the truth. There are many benefits of ADHD, and I think of people diagnosed with ADHD as having superpowers! 1. You're More Creative People with ADHD are often more creative than their non-ADHD colleagues. This is because they can see the world differently and easily live, work, and play outside the box! This creativity can be expressed in many different ways, such as through art, music, writing, or even how they approach problems. ADHD is considered part of the Neurodiversity Spectrum, meaning that people living with ADHD have a different brain wiring than neurotypical people. People with ADHD often have what's known as "divergent thinking." This means they see things from multiple perspectives and develop original solutions to problems. This is a valuable skill in any environment; however, it is advantageous in fields that require creativity, such as advertising, marketing, and design. 2. You're More Spontaneous ADHDers are spur-of-the-moment people. This means they're always up for trying new things and going on new adventures. Some people say that "spontaneity is the spice of life," and that's certainly true for people with ADHD! Think about all the positive opportunities that come with being spontaneous: You get to try new things, you are never bored, and you always have an exciting story to tell. Some of the best storytellers I know have ADHD; they embellish a story to make it relatable and entertaining. 3. You have Better Focus Despite what most people think, some people with ADHD have outstanding focus skills. When they're interested in something, they can tune out all distractions and zero in on the task at hand. Just imagine the ability subscribe to a level of hyperfocus on something you're passionate about! This focus can lead to high productivity and success in school, life, and work. Adults with ADHD often find careers in fields that require this type of laser focus, such as surgeons, athletes, and pilots. 4. You're More Energetic People with ADHD are known for having boundless energy. They're often described as "little balls of energy" or "human dynamos." And while this may seem like a negative trait, it's a huge benefit! That's because people with ADHD often have higher dopamine levels, a neurotransmitter responsible for arousal and pleasure. This increased level of dopamine can lead to higher levels of energy. And while this can be a downside at times (e.g., it can make it hard to focus or sleep), it also has its benefits. For instance, this high energy can be channeled into creative endeavors, physical activity, or other outlets. It's also one of the things that makes people with ADHD such great leaders. When you have the energy to take charge and get things done, other people naturally want to follow your lead. 5. You're More Resilient People with ADHD are used to being told that they can't do something or that they'll never amount to anything. As a result, they've become quite resilient and refuse to give up even when the going gets tough. For example, someone with ADHD might be told they're not smart enough to attend college. But instead of accepting this, they'll work twice as hard to get into the school of their choice and prove everyone wrong. Possessing resilience is a skill that can be beneficial in all areas of life. For instance, if you're resilient at work, you're more likely to get promoted because you're not afraid of challenging tasks. If you're resilient in your personal life, you're more likely to maintain healthy relationships because you don't give up when things get difficult. 6. You Live in the Moment ADHDers are present-oriented people. This means they don't dwell on the past or worry too much about the future. Parents of children with ADHD are often told to "enjoy these years because they'll be gone before you know it." And while this may seem like a cliche, it's true! People diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder tend to have a "live for today" mentality. They're not as concerned with what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow. Instead, they're focused on the here and now and making the most of every moment. 7. You're a Risk Taker Individuals with ADHD are also known for being risk takers. They're not afraid to try new things, take chances, or even dance alone on the dance floor! And while this can sometimes get them into trouble, it also leads to new opportunities and experiences. Risk-taking can lead to some amazing experiences, both good and bad. But overall, it's a trait that allows people with ADHD to live life to the fullest. Research shows that in the book "Five Regrets of the Dying," by Bonnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who spent the last twelve weeks of many people's lives with them as they lay dying; people are not sad about the things they did, but about the things they didn't do. So if you have ADHD and are feeling a little daring, go out and take some risks! No regrets!! 8. You're More Passionate ADHDers are passionate people who are not afraid to feel things deeply or show their emotions. And while this can sometimes be a downside (e.g., they might get too wrapped up in their work or a relationship), it's also a significant strength. Passion allows people with ADHD to be creative, unique, and successful. It's the driving force behind their risk-taking behavior and refusal to give up when things get tough. 9. You're a Good Problem Solver People with ADHD are often good at solving problems. That's because they're not afraid to push the proverbial envelope or come up with new and cutting-edge solutions to problems. This problem-solving skill is one of the things that makes people with ADHD such great entrepreneurs and leaders. They're not afraid to take risks or try new things, which is essential for any business owner. Just think what would be possible if people with ADHD helped solve the issues of the climate crisis, poverty, or world hunger! 10. You're Unique! There's no one else quite like you! Embrace your individuality and use it to your advantage. Allow your quirks to shine, and don't be afraid to be yourself. Many people with ADHD feel like they have to conform to societal norms and expectations. But the truth is, you're much better off being your authentic self. When you do this, you'll attract people who appreciate you for who you are. And that's the best kind of relationship to have in life. Conclusion While ADHD may come with some challenges, it comes with many benefits as well. Use these ten things as a reminder that you're not only exceptional, but also one-of-a-kind! However, everyone needs help sometimes. Working with a therapist who specializes in neurodiversity can be extremely helpful when it comes to understanding and navigating your experience with ADHD. When you're ready, our team is here to help. Get Matched With An Expert All the best, Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony , MA is a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #127882, Registered Associate Professional Clinical Counselor #10253, Transpersonal Coach, Author & Speaker. Click here to learn more about Barbara Lazarony. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule With Whitney Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Are you curious about whether or not you have autism/ADHD? Want to learn more about yourself and take the first step towards deeper self-understanding? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take An ASD/ADHD Screener Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Harry Motro, PsyD, Clinical Director, LMFT Listen to the Summary below: Listen to a podcast-style audio summary of this research. It’s an excellent way to digest these new findings quickly. Beyond the "Spectrum": New Science Reveals 4 Distinct Types of Autism 0:00 ism Trait Wheel For decades, we’ve used the word "spectrum" to describe autism. We visualize a linear line stretching from "mild" to "severe," trying to find where we or our loved ones fit. But in my years working with neurodiverse couples, that model has often felt incomplete. It doesn’t quite capture the brilliant engineer who struggles to read his wife’s facial expressions, or the deeply empathetic partner who shuts down when overwhelmed by sensory noise. Now, groundbreaking research is finally catching up to what we see in the therapy room every day. A new study from Princeton University and the Flatiron Institute suggests that autism isn't just one thing—it’s actually four distinct biological types , each with its own genetic timeline. How This Research Was Done This discovery wasn't based on simple behavioral observations. It utilized sophisticated genetic analysis and advanced computational science (AI) that wasn't possible even a few years ago. By applying machine learning to analyze massive genetic datasets from the Simons Foundation, scientists were able to decompose complex data into clear patterns. This allowed them to see distinct biological "signatures" that the human eye—and traditional diagnostic tools—had previously missed. Our Client Base: The "Invisible" Majority What is most fascinating about this research is that the first two groups identified—comprising about 70% of the population —are the exact individuals we work with most frequently at the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center . These are the partners who often mask well, hold down successful careers, but struggle deeply with the relational and social demands of marriage. Here is the breakdown of the four (4) distinct phenotypes (types): 1. The "Social and/or Behavioral" Type Prevalence: ~37% (The largest group). Typical Diagnosis Age: Late (Age 6+ to Adulthood). Clinical Presentation: Individuals are often high-functioning and cognitively brilliant but struggle significantly with social demands. There is a high comorbidity with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. Biological Markers: Late-Activation Genes. Mutations are present at birth but often do not "activate" until later in childhood or adolescence. Suggested Clinical Focus: Mental health integration (treating anxiety/ADHD), executive function coaching, and support with relationship dynamics rather than basic developmental skills. 2. The "Moderate Challenges" Type Prevalence: ~33%. Typical Diagnosis Age: Variable (often missed in early screenings). Clinical Presentation: Displays the hallmark traits of neurodivergence—such as social communication differences and repetitive habits—but without the cognitive delays seen in other groups. Biological Markers: Subtle Genetic Architecture. Driven by "common variants" scattered throughout the DNA rather than single, high-impact mutations. Suggested Clinical Focus: Strength-based support focusing on self-advocacy, sensory regulation, and "translating" social nuances. 3. The "Mixed" Type Prevalence: ~19%. Typical Diagnosis Age: Early (Toddlerhood). Clinical Presentation: A complex presentation involving early developmental delays (speech or motor skills), yet often showing fewer emotional struggles like anxiety or aggression compared to the first group. Biological Markers: Variable Expression. Linked to a high rate of inherited rare variants, where genes are often active prenatally. Suggested Clinical Focus: Developmental support, with speech, occupational, and physical therapy often being the primary interventions. 4. The "Broadly Affected" Type Prevalence: ~10% (The smallest group). Typical Diagnosis Age: Very Early (Infancy/Toddler). Clinical Presentation: Severe challenges across all domains, including communication, social interaction, and daily living skills. Biological Markers: High-Impact Mutations. Often linked to "de novo" (spontaneous) mutations that occur for the first time in the child. Suggested Clinical Focus: Comprehensive care requiring high-level support needs, often involving complex medical and behavioral care planning. Visualizing the Complexity: The Autism Trait Wheel Because these "types" are not rigid boxes, we need better tools to visualize how they show up in real life. This is why we utilize the Autism Trait Wheel in our assessments. Rather than a straight line from "less autistic" to "more autistic," the Trait Wheel allows us to map a person's unique strengths and struggles across specific categories—like sensory processing, executive function, and social perception. It helps us see exactly where you fit within these new biological categories. Why This Matters for Your Relationship This research is profoundly validating because it offers a biological answer to the question many of our clients ask: "Why now?" Many partners we see are confused because they navigated childhood successfully—hitting milestones, performing well in school—only to hit a wall in adulthood when the complexities of marriage, parenting, or career dynamics increased. This study reveals that for the largest group of autistic individuals, the genes involved may not even activate until later in development. This means your current struggles aren't a sign of regression or failure; they are simply the result of a distinct biological timeline. Understanding this helps us move away from blame and toward our core goal: acting as a "Translator" to bridge the gap between neurological languages. You don't need to bridge this gap alone. Let’s work together to translate your neurological differences into a shared language that works for your marriage. [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners References Cha, A. E. (2024). New science points to 4 distinct types of autism. The Washington Post . https://apple.news/AbM0W3IXWQc2fzc39hfMLzA Litman, A., Sauerwald, N., Snyder, L. G., Foss-Feig, J., Park, C. Y., Hao, Y., Dinstein, I., Theesfeld, C. L., & Troyanskaya, O. G. (2025). Decomposition of phenotypic heterogeneity in autism reveals underlying genetic programs. Nature Genetics . https://doi.org/10.1038/s41588-025-02224-z Matuskey, D., Yang, Y., Naganawa, M., ... & McPartland, J. C. (2024). 11C-UCB-J PET imaging is consistent with lower synaptic density in autistic adults. Molecular Psychiatry , 30, 1610–1616. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41380-024-02776-2 Zhang, X., et al. (2025). Polygenic and developmental profiles of autism differ by age at diagnosis. Nature . https://doi.org/10.1038/s41586-025-09542-6 Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

M enopaus e a neurodiverse communication Do apologies seem to make things worse? Do you dread apologizing? Why do apologies go sideways in neurodiverse relationships?Because intent and impact get lost in translation. All couples fight. The happy ones are able to repair. Here are three apologies that backfire—and what to try instead: “Sorry you feel that way.” This dismisses impact and centers the speaker. Say this instead: “I can see I hurt you. That’s on me. Here’s what I’ll do differently tonight: put away my phone during dinner.” Why it works: Responsibility + concrete next step rebuilds trust. “The reason I did it is…” Explanations feel like excuses when pain is fresh. Say this instead: “First, I own it. I interrupted you in front of your parents. I’ll make a repair by naming it and apologizing in front of them.” Why it works: Ownership before context, and a specific repair offer. “I’m sorry, but you know how my brain works.” Neurotype is real, but “but” erases the apology. Say this instead: “My ADHD/autism made this hard, AND I still owe you follow-through. I’ll set a 6 p.m. alarm and text you a photo of the mailed check.” Why it works: Acknowledges neurotype + commits to an observable behavior. When you get apologies right, it’s a huge relief. But how do we learn to do this? Make your apologies neurodiversity-smart. Use clear, literal language. Skip sarcasm, hints, and loaded questions. Name the impact in the partner’s terms. Impact beats intent when repairing trust. Offer a micro-repair that is visible and time-bound. Think “what will my partner see by 7 p.m.?” Expect different apology needs by neurotype. Mixed neurotype pairs often misread sincerity and tone. That’s a two-way gap, not a character flaw. Build a shared repair script. Speaker: “I own what I did: [behavior] . I see it landed as [impact] . I will [specific repair] by [time] .” Listener: “Thanks for owning it. What I need most next time is [one behavior] . I’m open to hearing brief context later.” If apologies keep stalling, use a daily check-in ritual. Ask: “Any repairs owed?” Track it in writing so working memory and shame don’t hijack progress. Why this matters for ADHD: Relationships with untreated ADHD report higher conflict and shorter stability. Repairs must be simple, externalized, and scheduled. Bottom line. Don’t chase the perfect apology. Chase the measurable repair. If apologies keep missing each other, we can help you build a shared repair language that fits both brains. [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Jenny Pan Specialties Neurodiverse & Neurotypical Couples Counseling Complex PTSD Cassandra Support Divorce & Blended Family Work Parenting Autism and ADHD Betrayal & Affairs Recovery Work Multicultural Relationship Challenges LGBTQ+ Affirming and Relationship Support Life Experience Lived 15 Years in a Neurodivergent Marriage Before either of us had language for autism or ADHD, we struggled to connect across invisible neurological lines. I know firsthand the exhaustion, confusion, and deep love that coexist in neurodiverse relationships—and how understanding changes everything. Raised Two Neurodivergent Children in a Blended Family Parenting through sensory sensitivities, shifting routines, and co-parenting across households taught me empathy in action. Our family is beautifully complex, living proof that difference and connection can thrive together. Bridged Cultures, Languages, and Identities As a first-generation Taiwanese American, I learned early how to translate between worlds—Mandarin and English, East and West, expectation and emotion. That experience now guides how I help multicultural and neurodiverse couples find shared meaning without losing themselves. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT # 155590, Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Get Booked with Jenny! Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners References Chapple, M., et al. (2021). Overcoming the Double Empathy Problem. NIH/PMC. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8354525/ PMC Crompton, C. J., et al. (2020). Neurotype-matching… rapport in autistic vs non-autistic pairs. Frontiers in Psychology. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.586171/full Frontiers Driver, J. L., & Gottman, J. M. (2004). Daily marital interactions and positive affect during conflict. https://scottbarrykaufman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Driver-and-Gottman-2004.pdf Scott Barry Kaufman Ginapp, C. M., et al. (2023). The experiences of adults with ADHD in interpersonal relationships. NIH/PMC. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10399076/ PMC Lewicki, R. J., Polin, B., & Lount, R. (2016). An Exploration of the Structure of Effective Apologies. Negotiation and Conflict Management Research. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/ncmr.12073 Wiley Online Library Milton, D. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: the ‘double empathy problem’. Disability & Society. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09687599.2012.710008 Taylor & Francis Online Ohio State University News (2016). The 6 elements of an effective apology. https://news.osu.edu/the-6-elements-of-an-effective-apology-according-to-science/ news.osu.edu Wymbs, B. T. (2021). Adult ADHD and romantic relationships: What we know and need to know. PubMed. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33421168/ PubMed Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Quick Guide - Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Tip: Want more resources? 📖 Read our Article on Neurodiverse Couples Counseling for an overview of challenges, therapy approaches, and more. 📖 Visit our Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) Page if you have a specific question about our services you'd like an answer to. KEY FACTS The “Neurodiversity Magnet” : Many autistic and neurotypical partners feel an immediate and powerful attraction towards each other and their differences . Autistic partners are often admired for their focus, intelligence, and stability, while neurotypical partners are valued for their social skills and support. This can feel like being “pulled together like magnets.” When Differences Become Challenges : Over time, those same differences can cause misunderstandings . Couples may feel like they are speaking “different languages,” leading to trust issues, arguments, distance, or struggles with parenting and intimacy. Yes, Empathy Is Possible : Some people wrongly believe that autistic partners cannot feel love or empathy. In reality, they do feel empathy—they just may show it in different ways ( Double Empathy Problem ). With the right tools, both partners can better understand and connect with each other. Therapy That Works : Research shows that couples who participate in solution-focused therapy show an increase in “solution talk” and positive reinforcement , which helps partners move away from blame and start expressing emotions more openly (McDowell et al., 2023). Change Takes Time, But It Happens : Autism is not a “fixed” condition. With patience and the right kind of therapy, many couples see progress and grow closer over time—leading to relationships that feel more relaxed, connected, and rewarding. ABOUT US With a team of over 30 therapists, we are the largest practice dedicated exclusively to supporting neurodiverse individuals and couples. Our Approach: We use a neurodiverse counseling model that is tailored to each couple. This model involves focusing on the challenges that often create distance—such as communication breakdowns, sensory sensitivities, and differences in social or executive functioning. Rather than turning these differences into blame or criticism, we help partners reframe them as opportunities to build empathy, strengthen teamwork, and create a more connected relationship. Our neurodiverse counseling model often integrates strengths-based, neuro-affirming strategies that emphasize safety, communication, and mutual understanding. We complete over 16,000 sessions a year , giving us a deep well of experience supporting neurodiverse couples and individuals on their journey toward connection and growth. Our Team: Our experts are deeply compassionate and dedicated to helping neurodiverse couples thrive. Three things set our team apart: Ongoing Specialized Training – Every therapist receives weekly training on neurodiversity-focused content, ensuring our approaches stay current and effective. Collaborative Case Support – We hold weekly case consultations and supervision so that no couple’s challenges are handled in isolation—your therapist has a full team behind them. Continuous Professional Growth – All team members pursue ongoing continuing education in neurodiverse relationships, keeping us at the forefront of best practices. Insurance — We are insurance-friendly. As an out-of-network provider, we will send you a Superbill for therapy services that you can submit to your insurance company for potential reimbursement. Please know that we do NOT bill insurance directly or participate as an in-network provider. For more information, please visit the "Insurance/Fee" section on our FAQ page. Diagnosis optional — You don’t need a diagnosis to participate. If you’re in California and want to explore an autism or ADHD diagnosis, our team can help. A quick note on crises — We’re not a crisis service. If you’re ever in immediate danger, call 911 . For urgent mental health support, call or text 988 . Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center is part of New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. WHO WE HELP We support neurodiverse couples nationwide through online therapy or coaching. We support couples who are navigating neurodiversity in any capacity. Some common issues include: Autism/ADHD differences Cassandra Syndrome Support Highly Sensitive People Parenting and co-parenting challenges Intimacy (both physical and emotional) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Recurring discussions about “tone,” initiative, alexithymia , or intimacy Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) LEARN MORE 📖 Read our Article on Neurodiverse Couples Counseling for an overview of challenges, therapy approaches, and more. 📖 Visit our Neurodiverse Couples Counseling FAQ for practical details about our services. Last reviewed: Aug 26, 2025 • Authors: Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT (Clinical Director) and Jasmyne Mena (Director of Clinical Research & Scientific Communications) GETTING STARTED We would love to create a safe place for you to break the painful patterns of the past and communicate in a new way. Please fill out our contact form and we will be glad to connect you with one of our team members. 10 secrets of happy neurodiverse couples… . (2024, September 4). BPS; The British Psychological Society. https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/10-secrets-happy-neurodiverse-couples Calderoni, S., Billeci, L., Narzisi, A., Brambilla, P., Retico, A., & Muratori, F. (2016). Rehabilitative Interventions and Brain Plasticity in Autism Spectrum Disorders: Focus on MRI-Based Studies. Frontiers in Neuroscience , 10 . https://doi.org/10.3389/fnins.2016.00139 McDowell, C. N., Bryant, M. E., & Parker, M. L. (2023). Decoding Neurodiverse Couples Therapy: A Solution-Focused Approach. Sexuality & Disability , 41 (2), 255–273. https://doi-org.libproxy.csudh.edu/10.1007/s11195-022-09765-9 Milton, D., Waldock, K. E., & Keates, N. (2023). Autism and the ‘double empathy problem.’ In F. Mezzenzana & D. Peluso (Eds.), Conversations on empathy: Interdisciplinary perspectives on imagination and radical othering (pp. 78–97). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781003189978-6 Mitchell, P., Sheppard, E., & Cassidy, S. (2021). Autism and the double empathy problem: Implications for development and mental health. British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 39(1), 1–18. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjdp.12350 Taylor, E. C., Livingston, L. A., Clutterbuck, R. A., Callan, M. J., & Shah, P. (2023). Psychological strengths and well-being: Strengths use predicts quality of life, well-being and mental health in autism. Autism : the international journal of research and practice , 27 (6), 1826–1839. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613221146440 Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

What is AuDHD? You’ve probably heard of autism . You’ve likely heard of ADHD . But what happens when you live with both—at the same time? That’s AuDHD , a combination of Autism and ADHD. It’s more common than most people realize, and it can feel like your brain is constantly flipping between two operating systems—each with its own needs, quirks, and frustrations. ➤ Maybe you love routine… but you can’t stick to one. ➤ Maybe your brain hyper-focuses for hours… but also forgets to eat lunch. ➤ Maybe one day you crave social interaction, and the next, you want to hide from the world. If this sounds familiar, you might be AuDHD—and you’re definitely not alone. Think you might be AuDHD? Let's chat now! How AuDHD Shows Up in Daily Life Living with both ADHD and autism can feel like a push-pull between competing needs. Here are a few ways this might look in real life: You crave structure (autistic trait) but struggle to follow routines (ADHD trait) You hyperfocus on creative ideas but forget deadlines or appointments You want to socialize like an ADHD brain… but the sensory overwhelm of autism kicks in You’re masking constantly—managing both autistic traits and ADHD impulsivity Want someone who actually gets this? Schedule a free consultation with a neurodiverse-affirming therapist. Is AuDHD a real term? AuDHD isn’t an official diagnosis in the DSM—but it’s a real experience for many people. It describes someone who meets criteria for both Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) . Both are neurodevelopmental conditions. Both can affect how you think, socialize, feel emotions, and process the world. And when they overlap, it creates a very specific experience that deserves tailored understanding. ADHD vs Autism: What’s the Difference? While there’s overlap, the core traits of autism and ADHD come from different places: Autism Traits ADHD Traits Difficulty with social communication Difficulty with attention/focus Repetitive behaviors & routines Impulsivity and hyperactivity Deep, specific interests Easily bored, jumps between ideas They can look similar on the outside—but the reason behind the behavior often differs. Examples: Trouble with friendships? ➤ Could be autistic social fatigue or ADHD impulsivity. Struggling to focus? ➤ Could be autistic deep-focus on a special interest or ADHD distractibility. Sensory issues? ➤ Both can have them—but the triggers and intensity vary. Need a clear answer? We offer evaluations that consider both autism and ADHD. How Common Is AuDHD? Research shows that: 30% to 80% of autistic individuals also show signs of ADHD 20% to 50% of those with ADHD may also have autistic traits Scientists believe both may share genetic and neurological roots—affecting brain areas tied to social connection, attention, and emotional regulation. Translation: You're not imagining it. You're not broken. You're wired differently—and that matters. Curious where you fall? Schedule a call with our Care Coordinator. Whole-Person Support for AuDHD Adults and Couples Living and loving with both autism and ADHD isn’t a “flaw” to be corrected—it’s a wiring difference that shapes everything from morning routines to midnight heart-to-hearts. We meet you (and, if you choose, your partner) right there, offering care that’s practical, trauma-informed, and relationship-centered. Important: We don’t believe in "fixing" you to be neurotypical. Therapy should help you function in the world—without losing who you are. ➤ Healing Old Hurts Many AuDHD adults carry scars from being misunderstood or pressured to “act normal.” We use gentle, body-based and talk-therapy methods to calm the nervous system, release stuck memories, and rebuild self-worth—without asking you to change who you are. ➤ Strengthening Your Connection AuDHD dynamics spark both creativity and friction. We guide couples to: read each other’s signals (hyper-focus vs. distraction, sensory highs & lows) blend comfort needs with closeness turn misfires into teamwork create rituals that protect connection—even on chaotic days Partners can also work one-on-one to polish their side of the dance. ➤ Social Skills Support Thriving at Work and Home Missed emails, forgotten laundry, buzzing ideas that never land—sound familiar? We blend practical planning, workplace advocacy, and gentle accountability so your brilliance shines without nonstop masking. ➤ Social Skills Support New Tools That Stick From emotion-regulation drills to values-based goal setting and mindful-movement breaks, we customize skills practice to fit your wiring—no alphabet-soup jargon required. ➤ Medication (When Appropriate) When focus boosters or calming supports might help, we team up with your prescriber to fine-tune a plan that respects your goals and your neurology. Note: We don’t prescribe, but we can coordinate with your provider. Looking for a treatment plan that actually fits? Let’s build it together. You Might Be AuDHD If… ( A mini self-checklist ) ➤ You love structure, but forget what day it is ➤ You hyper-fixate and procrastinate—sometimes at the same time ➤ You bounce between social butterfly and hermit mode ➤ You’ve spent years masking—and you're exhausted ➤ You’ve been told you're “too much” and also “not enough” Check off a few? That’s reason enough to reach out. Let’s talk. You Deserve to Be Understood If you’ve been misdiagnosed, misunderstood, or told to “just try harder,” you’re not alone. Living with AuDHD can feel overwhelming—but it’s also an opportunity to understand yourself in a deeper, more compassionate way. Get matched with a therapist who gets AuDHD. Start with a screener → Share Your Info → Free consult → Personalized support You’re not too much. You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re just wired differently—and you deserve care that honors that. Ready to Get Started? Click Here! Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

OCD vs Autism Is it OCD or autism? On the surface, they can look the same. Repeating routines. Fixating on details. Needing things a certain way. But the “why” behind those behaviors is totally different. With OCD, the ritual is about shutting down scary, intrusive thoughts. With autism, the ritual is about creating comfort, predictability, and balance. Miss that difference, and the relationship takes a hit. Because what looks like “helping” can actually backfire. When partners accommodate OCD compulsions, symptoms often get worse. But when partners support autistic routines, it often lowers stress and builds connection. See the difference? One needs gentle challenge. The other needs respectful support. That’s why it’s so important to sort out what’s what. Studies show OCD shows up in autistic people anywhere from 10% to over 30%, depending on how you measure it. So don’t assume—it’s more common than you think. Here are your next steps: Read our full article about how OCD and autism intersect. Screen for OCD traits with the OCI-R (Obsessional Compulsive Inventory—Revised) . And if you’re wondering about autism itself, check out our Autism & Related Screeners . Bring your results into therapy, and we’ll untangle what’s OCD, what’s autism, and how to handle both without getting stuck in the cycle. Less confusion. More clarity. Better connection. [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Malori Evans Specialties Neurodiverse Couples OCD and Autism LGBTQIA+ Addiction Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse) Sex/Physical Intimacy Emotional Intimacy ADHD, Autism Trauma-Informed Internal Family Systems Life Experience Living with autism and ADHD, raising two kids, and married to a neurodiverse partner — I understand firsthand the beauty and challenges that come with neurodiverse relationships. As a queer woman in recovery, I bring compassion and authenticity to my work, creating a safe space for clients to explore their own stories of healing and connection. I combine evidence-based approaches with lived experience, helping couples and families turn differences into deeper understanding, resilience, and love. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT # 153124, Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Get Booked with Malori Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners References Aymerich, C. (2024). Prevalence and Correlates of the Concurrence of Autism and Other Disorders. PMC. Retrieved from https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11048346/ Dell’Osso, L. (2025). Autism spectrum disorder, social anxiety and obsessive-compulsive symptoms: Prevalence in children. BMC Psychiatry. BioMed Central Lamothe, H. (2022). Clinical characteristics of adults suffering from high-functioning ASD with OCD. Journal of Affective Disorders. ScienceDirect Meta-analysis: prevalence of OCD in ASD youth: 11.6% (CI 6.9%–18.8%). PubMed Conditions comorbid to autism – OCD comorbidity up to ~30%. Wikipedia. Wikipedia Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Making the Holidays a Win for Neurodiverse Couples The holidays are here — lights, gatherings, music, traditions... For some couples, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. For others, especially those in neurodiverse relationships , it can feel like walking into a minefield. Take Sarah and James. Sarah’s idea of holiday magic was non-stop socializing. James, who is autistic, felt his energy drain with every party invite. By Christmas Eve, Sarah felt abandoned, and James was burned out. Sound familiar? This season, it doesn’t have to go this way. 🎁 The Struggles Are Real—But Fixable Holidays mean extra sensory overload, social expectations, and unspoken assumptions. For autistic partners, loud gatherings, surprise events, or last-minute changes can create a meltdown. For allistic partners, the lack of enthusiasm or perceived “shutdown” can feel isolating. Add holiday traditions into the mix, and it’s easy to see how good intentions can morph into conflict. But here’s the good news: understanding and planning can make a huge difference. 🌟 Why Holidays Feel Different in Neurodiverse Couples For neurodiverse couples, the holidays magnify existing dynamics: Autistic partners often focus on consistency, structure, and recovery time. Unscheduled gatherings or unclear expectations can feel chaotic. Allistic partners might value spontaneity, connection, and tradition . A lack of engagement can feel personal. Instead of labeling these differences as “wrong,” therapy can help couples see them as strengths. 🕯️ Connection Over Perfection Here’s what matters: connection doesn’t have to look like perfection. For Sarah and James, the solution wasn’t attending every holiday party together. It was building a shared plan: Sarah hosted a Friendsgiving, and James stayed home to recharge for the family event they both prioritized. This year, embrace the fact that neurodiverse love looks different — and that’s beautiful. ✨ The Gift of Interventions: How can our neuro-informed specialists help? Customizing Connection Plans: We’ll help you identify how much socializing works for both partners. Together, we create a game plan that respects everyone’s needs. Teaching the Power of Scripts: We offer strategies like prepared phrases for exiting conversations, saying no to extra gatherings, and avoiding awkward moments. Addressing Sensory Needs: Let’s talk about your holiday environments. Our therapists guide couples to set up calm zones or use tools like noise-canceling headphones during high-sensory events. Building Emotional Fluency: Misunderstandings spike when stress rises. We’ll teach both partners how to communicate what’s happening internally, without blame. These tailored tools go beyond generic advice. They’re designed to meet your unique needs as a neurodiverse couple. 🎉 Want Personalized Holiday Tools? Let’s Talk! Our team of neuro-informed couples counselors are here to help you navigate the season with clarity and care. Whether you’re looking to reduce holiday stress or deepen your connection, our neuro-informed specialists can help. Click here to schedule your session today. Warm wishes, Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center 🔦 Spotlight on Whitney S. Specialties and Certifications Neurodiverse Couples Specialist Neurodiverse Parenting Specialist Life Transitions Postpartum Depression Birthing Trauma Spirituality/Christianity Grief and Loss IEPs/Special Education LGBTQ+ - Affirming Parenting Life Experience Diagnosed with ADHD at age 17 Married 23 years to neurodivergent husband Proud mother of 3 neurodivergent kids: age 21 Autism/ADHD/twice exceptional, age 18 ADHD, age 13 Autism/ADHD Proud mother to LGBTQ+ identifying kids Care giver to 2 parents diagnosed with cancer through treatment end of life Contact Whitney Today! Did you miss the last Blog? Click Here to Read Now! Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Cassie Clayton, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Cassie Think You May be Have ADHD? The Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST) may be used to identify adults who may have undiagnosed ADHD Take the SAAST Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel