ADHD in Bed: Oops, Lost Focus Again
- hmotro
- Jun 5
- 2 min read
ADHD and sex can be a wild combination.
At its best, it’s electric—intimate, intense, full of energy.At its worst? Scattered, impulsive, confusing.
Many ADHDers feel deeply present one moment—then drift off mid-connection.
They want to be great lovers and attentive partners…
But distraction, urgency, or miscommunication keeps getting in the way.
It’s not about caring less.
It’s about how your brain works.
That’s why we created the ADHD Sexual Intimacy Measure (ADHD-SIM‑24).
This self-assessment helps you decode how your brain's wiring impacts your sex life—especially when it comes to focus, impulse, and connection.
You’ll rate your level of agreement with statements like:
“I can pause and check in with my partner even when I'm excited.”
“My mind often drifts to unrelated thoughts when I'm intimate.”
“I find it difficult to wait when I want sexual contact."
The ADHD-SIM-24 only takes about 5–7 minutes.
And instead of a vague “you’re doing fine” or “you need help,” it gives you real insights.
You’ll get five scores:
One total score that reflects your overall intimacy profile
Four targeted subscales showing your patterns in:
Attention & Presence
Impulse Control & Risk
Boundaries & Consent
Relationship Communication & Satisfaction
These subscales are the real magic—they help you pinpoint where things feel smooth and where they get sticky.
Maybe your focus is strong, but boundaries get fuzzy.Maybe you’re great at communicating—but struggle to pause before acting.
This gives you the map.
If you’d like to process your results with someone who gets both ADHD and intimacy challenges, our neuro-informed specialists are here.
No shame.
Just support.
With care,
Harry Motro
Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center
P.S. If you’re in a relationship where one partner is autistic and the other has ADHD, it’s not just a double dose—it’s a double puzzle. We'd love to help you with that too.
Specialties
Neurodiverse Couples Therapy
Autism & ADHD
Parenting Autistic Children
Intimacy, Sex, Affair Recovery
Anger Management
Life Transitions
Personal Experience
My husband is on the Autism Spectrum and received his diagnosis later in life. I am so proud of my 26-year marriage and the fact that we were able to reconcile after a divorce and remarry.
My two children are also on the Spectrum. They have taught me how differences can be intensely beautiful and frustrating at the same time.
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Want to learn more about yourself?
Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment, and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started!
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