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When a Trigger Hits

Triggers ambush you - a phone buzzing, a certain song, a time of day, a place - and suddenly you're flooded, heart pounding, dragged right back into the worst moment. This is a plan for exactly that, so when it happens you have something to do besides drown. A trigger is a trauma response, not a sign you're going backward.

A trigger is a flashback, not a failure: Being triggered doesn't mean you're not healing - it means something touched the wound. And like every wave, it crests and passes. Your job is just to ride it.

My triggers

Tick what tends to set you off.

  • [ ] Phones, notifications, screens
  • [ ] Certain places
  • [ ] Times of day or night
  • [ ] Physical intimacy
  • [ ] His lateness or absence
  • [ ] Social media
  • [ ] Reminders of the other person / the discovery

My most common trigger:

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When it hits - my plan

Ride the wave:

  • Name it: 'This is a trigger. I'm safe in this moment.'
  • Ground: feet on the floor, name what you see, hear, touch
  • Breathe slow - longer out-breath than in
  • Reach a safe person if you need to
  • Let the wave crest - it peaks in minutes if you don't fight it

A grounding phrase I'll tell myself:

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Each wave you ride loses power: Triggers fade as you heal, and every one you move through without drowning teaches your body that you can survive it. You're not back at the start - you're building the muscle that gets you through.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

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