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What I Want to Know — and What I Don't
You have the right to a prepared disclosure, and a say in what it includes. This sheet helps you decide what you want to know and what you don't, so you can bring your wishes to your own therapist. The disclosure itself is prepared and delivered with trained therapists, and every process is a little different - this is about clarifying what you want.
There's no right answer: Wanting the whole picture and choosing limits are both valid - and you can change your mind.
What I want to know
Check what you'd want a disclosure to include.
- [ ] The full timeline
- [ ] The types of behavior (affairs, paid, online, etc.)
- [ ] Whether anyone I know was involved
- [ ] Financial impact
- [ ] Health/STI risk to me
- [ ] Whether it is fully over now
Anything else I want included:
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
What I do NOT want — at least right now
Graphic, play-by-play sexual detail often wounds without helping. You're allowed to decline it.
- [ ] I do not want graphic sexual detail
Other limits I want to set:
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
Why these matter to me
Why do these matter to me?
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
The questions I most want answered
The questions I most want answered:
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
His account to give, not yours to extract: Giving you a complete, honest account is his job - not yours to investigate or extract.
Go deeper
Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.
- Receiving the Truth: Formal Disclosure, On Your Terms, from Healing After Betrayal. The chaotic way you found out is not the same as a prepared disclosure - one you have the right to receive, on terms you help set.
- Your Impact Letter: Putting the Harm Into Your Own Words, from Healing After Betrayal. After the truth is told, your voice matters - a structured way to name what happened, how it hit you, and what you need now.
- Riding the Waves: Triggers & Emotional Regulation, from Healing After Betrayal. Betrayal triggers fling you into panic or numbness, and intrusive thoughts are normal.