The Chain

Compulsive behavior feels like it comes out of nowhere - but it almost never does. It runs on a chain of small links: a trigger, a feeling, an urge, the behavior, a moment of relief, then the aftermath. Once you can see the links, you can interrupt one. And the earlier in the chain you catch it, the easier that is.

You don't have to fight the whole thing: Trying to white-knuckle the urge at its peak is the hardest place to intervene. Catch an earlier link - the trigger, the feeling - and you barely have to fight at all.

Map a recent chain

Think of a recent time. Walk it through, link by link.

Example — Link: Trigger (what happened first) · What it was for me: ...

Example — Link: Feeling / body state · What it was for me: ...

Example — Link: The urge · What it was for me: ...

Example — Link: What I did · What it was for me: ...

Example — Link: Immediate relief · What it was for me: ...

Example — Link: Aftermath · What it was for me: ...

Find the earliest link

Look back at your chain. The first domino is usually a feeling or a situation, not the urge itself.

What's the earliest link I can spot - the thing that really starts it?

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My high-risk setups

Certain states and situations load the chain. Tick yours.

• [ ] Hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (HALT)
• [ ] Bored or understimulated
• [ ] Certain times of day or night
• [ ] Certain apps, sites, or places
• [ ] After conflict or rejection
• [ ] Alone with no plans

One link I'll target this week, and how I'll interrupt it:

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One link at a time: You're not trying to dismantle the whole chain at once. Pick one link, put one obstacle in its way, and the whole sequence gets weaker. Small interruptions, repeated, are what actually work.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

• Relapse Prevention: Seeing the Warning Signs, from Sex Addiction Recovery. Relapse is a process, not an event.
• The Three Circles, from Sex Addiction Recovery. The Three Circles turn 'stop' into a usable map: bottom lines, warning signs, and a life worth protecting.
• Riding the Wave: Emotions & the Window of Tolerance, from Sex Addiction Recovery. Acting out is often an attempt to escape a flooded or numb nervous system.