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Telling Your Story

Betrayal usually comes wrapped in secrecy - his first, and then often yours, as you hide what's happening out of shame, or to protect his image, or because you don't know who's safe. Telling your story to a safe witness is how you set the weight down and reclaim it as yours. You decide who, when, and how much. This is your story - not a secret you're obligated to keep for him.

This is your story to tell: You owe no one your silence - least of all to protect the image of the person who hurt you. Telling it, on your terms, is an act of reclaiming your voice.

The silence I've been keeping

Tick what's true.

  • [ ] I haven't told anyone
  • [ ] I'm protecting him or the image of us
  • [ ] I'm ashamed, like it reflects on me
  • [ ] I'm afraid of being judged
  • [ ] I don't know who's safe to tell

A safe witness

You don't broadcast it - you tell one safe person, therapist, or group. Who might be safe?

Someone who might receive my story with care:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

My story, my terms

What I'd want a safe person to understand about what this has been like for me:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Being witnessed heals: There is something powerful about being truly heard and still held with compassion. Spaces like S-Anon and COSA are full of people who understand betrayal from the inside. You set the terms - who, when, and how much.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

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