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Talking About You
Dating can feel like a test in a subject no one taught you — especially if small talk drains you or your mind goes blank at 'so, tell me about yourself.' Here's the reframe: you don't have to manufacture bland chit-chat. The most magnetic thing you can do is talk about what genuinely lights you up. This helps you turn your real interests — and your real self, the hard parts included — into things you can actually say out loud.
What lights you up
Your enthusiasm is attractive — the spark when you talk about something you love is the whole point. List the things you could talk about for hours.
Things I genuinely love or could go on about forever
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Turn them into talking points
You don't need a speech — just a sentence or two that opens a door, plus a way to pull the other person in so it's a conversation, not a lecture.
My talking points
Row 1
- Interest: ____________________
- A short way to bring it up: ____________________
- A question that pulls them in: ____________________
Row 2
- Interest: ____________________
- A short way to bring it up: ____________________
- A question that pulls them in: ____________________
Row 3
- Interest: ____________________
- A short way to bring it up: ____________________
- A question that pulls them in: ____________________
Example: Interest: board games → Bring it up: 'I've gotten a bit obsessed with board games lately.' → Pull them in: 'Are you competitive or chill when you play?'
Leading into it naturally
The usual worry is 'how do I even bring it up without it being random?' A few easy bridges:
Easy ways in
- React to something around you, or something they just said
- Answer their question, then hand it back: '…what about you?'
- It's fine to flag it: 'this might be a bit niche, but…'
- You don't need the perfect segue — enthusiasm is reason enough
Share the spark without spiraling
It's good to be passionate. The only thing to watch is keeping it two-way — share a bit, then check they're still with you and turn it back to them.
My sign that it's time to pause and hand the conversation back
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Enthusiasm isn't 'too much': The right person will love watching you light up. You don't have to flatten yourself into small talk to be likeable — that just hides the best part.
Talking about the harder stuff
You also get to be honest about what's hard for you — in your own time and your own words. Naming a difference simply often builds more closeness than hiding it does.
Example: 'Heads up, I'm slow to text back — it's not about interest.' • 'Loud places overwhelm me, so I love somewhere quieter.' • 'I'm pretty literal, so just tell me straight.'
One thing about how I work that I'd want someone to know — and how I might say it
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A few questions for them
Dating's a two-way street, and having a couple of genuine questions ready takes the pressure off you to perform.
Things I'd actually like to know about a person
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Be findable, not perfect: The goal isn't to impress — it's to let the right person actually see you: what you love, how you're wired, what you're like. That's what connection is built from.
Go deeper
Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.
- Communication Across Neurotypes, from The Neurodivergent Brain. Why autistic and non-autistic people misunderstand each other: the double empathy problem, direct vs indirect styles, and cross-neurotype repair.
- Masking & Authenticity, from The Neurodivergent Brain. How autistic masking (compensation, masking, assimilation) drives burnout — and what helps.
- Telling People, from Self-Identification. Partner, parents, employer, friends — what disclosure buys and what it costs, audience by audience.