Reflection on Meaningful Things

A careful look at the things that hold real meaning for you — separated out from the things you've been told should.

By the time most of us reach adulthood, we are carrying two parallel lists. One is the list of things that are supposed to feel meaningful — career advancement, holiday gatherings, owning a home, being a good host. The other is the list of things that actually do — a particular smell, a routine no one else gets, a half-hour with a book, the exact texture of one familiar conversation.

For autistic adults, especially those identified late, these two lists can drift very far apart. This worksheet is a chance to put them side by side, with no obligation to defend either.

Three Days Worth Looking At

Think back to three specific days in the last few years when you finished the day feeling, somewhere in your body, that the day had been worth being awake for. Not productive. Not impressive. Worth being awake for. Describe each one in plain detail.

Day 1 — what happened, who was there, where you were:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Day 2:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Day 3:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

What the Three Days Have in Common

Look at the three. Underline (mentally) the elements that appear in more than one. Then answer below.

What did all three have in common? (Environments? Levels of stimulation? Specific people? Sensory qualities? Times of day? Activities?)

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

What was conspicuously NOT in any of them? (Crowds? Small talk? Multitasking? Performance? Particular people?)

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Two Lists

Now make the two lists side by side. Honest is more important than complete.

What I've been told (or expected) to find meaningful:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

What I actually find meaningful (based on the three days above):

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

The Gap

Where the two lists diverge — what does that gap tell me?

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

What is one thing from the second list that is currently getting almost none of my time?

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

One small, doable thing I could do this week to give it more room:

______________________________________________

What this is not: This is not a values-clarification exercise meant to optimize your goals. It's not a vision board. It's a noticing tool. The whole point is to let the second list start counting again.

Inspired by: Inspired by themes Devon Price raises in Unmasking Autism (Harmony, 2022). Prompts and language above are our own.

A gentle note: This worksheet is a learning tool, not treatment. If what comes up for you feels too big to hold alone, please work with a qualified clinician.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

• Self-Esteem, Identity, and Late Diagnosis, from The Neurodivergent Brain. Why misunderstanding erodes neurodivergent self-worth, what late diagnosis really feels like, and how to reauthor your story.
• Masking & Authenticity, from The Neurodivergent Brain. How autistic masking (compensation, masking, assimilation) drives burnout — and what helps.
• Monday Morning, from Self-Identification. What actually changes after you recognize yourself as autistic or ADHD, and the first three changes worth making.