I Appreciate

An exercise in noticing what's right with the person across from you.

When couples drift, it's often because they've stopped noticing each other. This worksheet is a short, repeatable discipline that puts noticing back into the relationship.

How to use this worksheet

• Pick three adjectives that already feel true of your partner.
• Recall a specific moment for each. 'Last Tuesday' beats 'in general.'
• Trade worksheets. Read silently first.
• Speak each appreciation out loud: 'I appreciate that you are ___. I noticed it when ___.'
• Repeat weekly. Once is a moment. Weekly is a culture.

Your name

______________________________________________

Date

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Three things to remember: You don't need to feel it to write it. Specificity is the gift. This is a noticing exercise, not a fix-it list.

A gentle note: This worksheet is a learning tool, not treatment. If your relationship currently includes abuse, ongoing harm, or active crisis, please work with a qualified couples therapist instead.

Adjectives — circle three

Read through and circle three that fit your partner — at least sometimes. Don't overthink it.

• Loving · Affectionate · Warm · Tender · Kind · Gentle · Caring · Nurturing · Compassionate · Sensitive
• Honest · Truthful · Sincere · Trustworthy · Dependable · Reliable · Loyal · Faithful · Steadfast · Committed
• Thoughtful · Considerate · Attentive · Mindful · Empathetic · Understanding · Patient · Forgiving · Generous · Supportive
• Intelligent · Curious · Wise · Insightful · Reflective · Perceptive · Observant · Open-minded · Imaginative · Creative
• Brave · Courageous · Strong · Resilient · Determined · Persistent · Disciplined · Hardworking · Capable · Confident
• Calm · Grounded · Steady · Easygoing · Even-keeled · Peaceful · Mellow · Reassuring · Mature · Principled
• Funny · Witty · Playful · Lighthearted · Joyful · Spirited · Enthusiastic · Adventurous · Spontaneous · Fun
• Resourceful · Practical · Organized · Decisive · Skilled · Devoted · Encouraging · Helpful · Authentic · Genuine

Reflect — one incident for each

For each adjective, write down an actual moment when your partner showed it. Concrete beats abstract every time.

Adjective 01

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Incident

______________________________________________

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Adjective 02

______________________________________________

Incident

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Adjective 03

______________________________________________

Incident

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Share & repeat

• Trade worksheets. Read silently before you talk.
• Speak each appreciation out loud: 'I appreciate that you are ___. I noticed it when ___.'
• Did your partner pick anything that surprised you? Sit with it before you ask.
• Is there an adjective you wished your partner had picked? Bring it to therapy or your journal first.
• Schedule the next one — 7 to 14 days out.

Say it out loud: This exercise only works if the words leave the page. Read your three adjectives to your partner this week.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

• Staying Close, from The Neurodiverse Couples Repair Program. Stay close in ordinary weeks: small daily moments and a short check-in that fits you both.
• The Love List, from The Neurodiverse Couples Repair Program. The Love List for neurodiverse couples: twenty specific things that make you feel loved, read aloud in session and posted where you see them.
• Trust and the Resentment Backlog, from The Neurodiverse Couple. How trust erodes in a neurodiverse couple, why lying is often shame not malice, and how to mend.