Days Since the Last Velociraptor Attack

Cutting down on conflict at home is hard work. This is a lighthearted way to keep track of how long it has been since the last outburst in your family. Post the count on any sign or whiteboard where everyone can see it, and update it together each day.

Ground rules

• No shaming anyone, ever. The count is a family project, not a scoreboard for who messed up.
• Hold a family meeting to agree on what counts as a “velociraptor attack.”
• Everyone involved in an attack apologizes for their part in it.
• Write down what happened so you can talk it through in therapy and learn from it.
• Pick a milestone and a celebration — for example, after 7 days without an attack, the family goes out for ice cream.

Meltdowns and shutdowns never count: An autistic meltdown or shutdown is a nervous system that has run out of capacity — not a choice, and not an attack. Never log it, count it, or reset the number because of it. When one happens, the job is comfort, quiet, and recovery. Afterward, you can look together at what overloaded the person, but that is care, not a tally.

What counts as a velociraptor attack in our family

e.g. e.g. yelling at someone, name-calling, slamming doors on purpose. Decide together — and list what does not count, like meltdowns, shutdowns, or needing space.

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Days since the last velociraptor attack (0–365)

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Our milestone (days) (1–365)

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How we will celebrate

e.g. e.g. ice cream after dinner, a family movie night, pizza at the park

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What happened, and what to bring to therapy

e.g. What led up to it, what each person did, how you repaired it, and what you'd like help with next time.

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A reset is not a failure: When the count goes back to zero, nobody lost. You just found out something new about what your family needs. The number is there to make progress visible — and to give you all a reason to celebrate.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

• Your Parenting Style Under Pressure, from Parenting Autism. Why stress pushes good parents into laxness or over-reactivity, the short-fuse neuroscience, the Parenting Scale, and repair after you lose it.
• Meltdowns and Shutdowns, from Parenting Autism. Meltdown vs tantrum, shutdowns as the quiet exit, why shame outlasts the storm, and aftercare that works — a free module for parents of autistic kids.
• Your Family Operating Manual, from Parenting Autism. Pull the whole course into one living family manual, with a fridge-door page and a weekly huddle.