Jen Evans

Neurodiverse Couples Specialist | Associate Marriage and Family Therapist

At a Glance

• Late-diagnosed autistic therapist — I work from inside the experience

• Parent of two teens — one diagnosed autistic, the other still exploring their own neurodivergence

• Deeply involved with a nonprofit dedicated to supporting people impacted by trauma

• Lived experience of recovery — I understand the long arc, not just the early days

• Primary modality: Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), adapted for neurodiverse couples

• Trauma-informed and nervous-system-centered — focused on how trauma reshapes neurodivergent life

• Certified Integral Coach through an internationally accredited training program

Why I Do Couples Work

I work with neurodiverse couples because I know — from the inside — what it feels like to love, parent, and try to be understood across different nervous systems.

I know the exhaustion of reaching for connection and missing. I know the loneliness of being told you are "too much," "too sensitive," or "too complicated" when what's actually happening is that your nervous system is doing its best in a world that wasn't designed for it.

And I know the quiet grief of watching the same painful loop play out between two people who love each other but can't seem to land in the same place.

My work is about slowing that loop down. Not by asking either partner to change who they are, but by helping both of you understand how your brains, bodies, and histories are shaping the moments that keep going sideways — and then practicing something different, in real time, in the room.

I believe difference is not deficit, symptoms are adaptive responses to context, and healing happens in relationship.

A Late Autism Diagnosis That Changed Everything

I am late-diagnosed autistic. My diagnosis didn't simply add a label — it reorganized my entire identity and autobiographical history.

Suddenly, patterns that had once been framed as "too much," "too sensitive," or "too complicated" came into focus as expressions of neurodivergence navigating a neurotypical world.

This re-understanding was catalyzed by parenting. Seeking an assessment for my autistic teen opened a door I didn't know existed for myself.

As I learned to advocate for them, I began to recognize my own lifelong patterns of masking, sensory overwhelm, and relational fatigue.

Receiving my diagnosis allowed me to re-story my life with compassion. It helped me understand not only who I am, but how I have survived — and why relational safety and nervous system regulation are so central to my work today.

When I sit with a couple where one partner is late-diagnosed or still in that "wait, is this me?" stage, I'm not theorizing. I know that moment from the inside.

My Work With Neurodiverse Couples

Many couples arrive in therapy caught in cycles of misunderstanding, shutdown, or repeated conflict — often carrying years of shame or self-blame rooted in difference.

One partner may be more literal, energy-limited, and direct; the other more inferential, fast-paced, and socially tuned. Without a map, those differences can look like rejection, withdrawal, or "not caring."

In our work together, I support couples in:

• Understanding how neurotype, trauma history, and attachment interact

• Translating differences without pathologizing either partner

• Creating relational accommodations that support both nervous systems

• Repairing ruptures and rebuilding trust after misattunement

• Moving from chronic defensiveness toward connection and repair

• Building communication grounded in clarity, emotional safety, and mutual respect

I also work with individuals and families, recognizing that relational healing doesn't require all parties to be present for meaningful change to occur.

Parenting Across Neurotypes

I am the parent of two teenagers — one diagnosed autistic, the other still exploring their own neurodivergence. Parenting from inside my own neurodivergence has been one of my greatest teachers.

Raising two kids whose nervous systems experience the world differently requires constant curiosity, flexibility, and repair. It has deepened my understanding of how profoundly different nervous systems can interpret the same environment — and how easily misattunement can occur even in loving families.

The same dinner table, the same conversation, the same Tuesday night can be experienced as ordinary by one person and overwhelming by another. That lived experience shows up in how I work with couples.

I take nervous-system reality seriously. I don't treat one partner's needs as "the right way" and the other's as a problem to be fixed.

I help couples see how their two systems are actually meeting — or not — in any given moment, and how to design something more workable together.

How I Work

My primary modality is Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) — a non-pathologizing, attachment-based, experiential approach that treats emotion as a pathway to transformation, the nervous system as central to change, and relationship itself as the engine of growth.

I have adapted AEDP for neurodiverse couples — pacing the work to honor sensory and energy load, building in concrete language and predictability where standard couples therapy can feel ambiguous, and translating between two nervous systems that often experience the same moment very differently.

This is not AEDP done at a couple. It is AEDP designed for how neurodivergent brains and bodies actually meet each other.

In practice, that means I work as an active co-traveler. You won't be alone with what you're feeling. We track the small shifts in real time — breath, posture, tone, the place a sentence catches — and we let emotions actually move rather than just talking about them.

And we make as much room for the relief and joy of healing as we do for the pain that brought you in.

Around that core, I integrate nervous system regulation and trauma-informed care, somatic therapy, nonviolent communication, and neurodiversity-affirming frameworks.

The combination lets me work in a way that is structured yet flexible, responsive to difference, and oriented toward repair and growth rather than blame.

Trauma, Neurodiversity, and the Work That Sits Beside My Practice

Trauma is not an abstract concept to me. Alongside my clinical practice, I am deeply involved with a nonprofit dedicated to supporting people impacted by trauma — building safety, community, and access to care for people who have been hurt.

That work sits beside my therapy practice and feeds it. Trauma changes how neurodivergent nervous systems organize themselves. It teaches the body to brace, the self to mask, the connection to flinch.

So much of what gets labeled as "the autism" or "the ADHD" in adult life is actually the residue of years of being unseen, accommodated badly, or hurt inside relationships that were supposed to be safe. I take that seriously.

It's why I refuse to treat anyone's adaptations as character flaws — and why repair, not insight, is at the center of how I work.

Values I Bring Into the Therapy Room

I believe that:

• Difference is not deficit

• Symptoms are adaptive responses to context

• Healing happens in relationship

• Curiosity softens defensiveness

• Repair matters more than perfection

I strive to create a therapeutic space where clients feel seen, respected, and unpressured to perform — a space where authenticity is supported and growth is possible.

Who I Work With

• Neurodivergent–neurotypical couples navigating communication gaps and the search for connection

• Dual-neurodivergent couples (autism, ADHD, AuDHD, and other combinations)

• Partners stuck in pursuit-withdraw, shutdown, or escalate-collapse cycles

• Couples processing late diagnosis and the grief, relief, and reorganization it brings

• Parents of neurodivergent children whose relationship has taken the hit

• Individuals untangling identity, masking, burnout, or relational trauma

What to Expect in Session

I am warm, attuned, and direct. I'll name what I notice — gently — and I'll do it with care for both of you. Sessions are collaborative and paced to what your nervous systems can actually hold, not what looks productive on paper.

I accommodate neurodivergent needs including movement, fidgeting, reduced eye contact, written summaries, and flexibility around sensory and energy load. I understand that what can look like resistance is often regulation — a nervous system protecting itself — and we work with that, not against it.

You will not be asked to perform healing perfectly. You'll be asked to show up, be curious, and let us slow things down together.

You don't have to do it alone. Relationships can become places of safety, creativity, and mutual care — even after significant adversity.

On Recovery

I bring lived experience to my work with addiction and recovery. I know — from the inside — what a recovery process asks of a person: what it costs, what it returns, and the slow rebuild of identity, relationships, and self-trust that follows.

That experience means I can sit with clients in the early or fragile stages of recovery without flinching, and I can hold the long arc that comes after the substance is no longer the center of the story.

I bring this most often into work with clients navigating substance recovery alongside neurodivergence, trauma, or relational rupture.

License, Training, & Education

• Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (AMFT) #162617 — California

• All sessions are virtual. I work with therapy and assessment clients in California, and coach clients worldwide.

• Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452

• Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers

Education

• Western Institute for Social Research — M.A., Psychology

• UC Berkeley and CSU Fullerton — Undergraduate studies in Sociology, Legal Studies, and Criminal Justice Reform

• Certified Integral Coach through an internationally accredited coach training program

  
  

Clinical Training & Modalities:

• Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) — adapted for neurodiverse couples, trauma-informed care, nervous system regulation, somatic therapy, nonviolent communication, attachment-based relational work, neurodiversity-affirming frameworks