Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help! < Back Jamison Haase Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapist for Couples, Individuals, and Parents Who I Am: Act One: Small-Town Beginnings, Big-Hearted Lessons Jamison grew up in a tiny Minnesota town where the family rule was similar to so many others: feelings stay under wraps. Substance abuse, depression, and shame shaped a household that looked picture-perfect from the outside but ran on unspoken pain. Labeled “flaky” and “irresponsible,” Jamison spent years believing those words defined him—while quietly building hard-won empathy for anyone who feels misunderstood. Act Two: Hollywood Hustle Armed with a BFA in acting (1997), Jamison spent nearly 25 years on Los Angeles sets, eventually founding an on-camera school that helped hundreds of performers find their voice. Coaching actors taught him to read subtext and body language, hold space for others’ emotions, and spot the moment a story shifts—skills that now power his therapy work. Act Three: Therapy & a Late-Bloom Diagnosis After COVID, passion for showbiz faded and Jamison pivoted to mental health. While earning his Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy, he finally discovered the real reason he felt so out of sync in life: undiagnosed ADHD. Almost overnight, decades of shame melted, and a new mission emerged: help others rewrite their own misunderstood stories. Neurodiverse Couples Building a life with different neurotypes can feel like two radios tuned to separate stations—lots of volume, little clarity. Jamison’s 15-year marriage has lived that static and found the harmony, giving him lived wisdom he now shares with partners who are: Untangling Misinterpretations – When “You don’t care” really means “My brain processes differently.” Stuck in Blame-Shutdown Cycles – Swapping criticism and withdrawal for curiosity and repair. Hungry for Real Connection – Replacing scripts that never worked with communication that finally lands. How He Helps Name the Neurology – Understanding ADHD, autism, or AuDHD removes moral judgment and guilt. Create Accommodations – Practical systems for time, tasks, and sensory needs keep love from drowning in logistics. Reignite Intimacy – Emotionally Focused and Gottman-informed tools rebuild trust and warmth. With the right map, neurodiverse relationships don’t just survive—they become some of the most creative, resilient partnerships around. Neurodiverse Parenting Jamison and his wife are raising two energetic kids—one gifted, gloriously neurodiverse child and one future world-builder who keeps everyone laughing. Every school form, bedtime routine, and sensory storm doubles as on-the-job training. What He Knows Firsthand The confusion of trying discipline strategies that implode on an ADHD brain. The heartbreak of watching a gifted child mask until they burn out. The joy of seeing strengths shine when accommodations finally fit. In Parent-Focused Therapy, He Helps Caregivers: Decode Behaviors – Is it defiance, overwhelm, or an executive-function gap? Build Family Systems – Morning routines, homework plans, and shutdown-recovery scripts that actually work. Protect the Parent-Child Bond – Navigating shame, grief, and guilt so love stays front and center. Jamison believes children thrive when adults understand the brain behind the behavior—and when families trade “fixing” for celebrating unique wiring. Men, Neurodiversity, & A New Masculinity Growing up in rural Minnesota, Jamison absorbed a clear script: real men keep quiet, push through, never show weakness, or almost any emotion outside of anger. When undiagnosed ADHD amplified distraction, frustration, and shame, the result was an unhealthy mixture of anger and self-doubt that no one—least of all Jamison—could safely name. That powder keg eventually sent him to therapy, where he discovered two liberating truths: 1) masculinity isn’t one size fits all, and 2) neurodiverse brains often process emotion, stress, and sensory input in ways the old script never even considered. Late diagnosis reframed his struggles, and helped redefine masculinity as less about “manning up” and more about showing up —vulnerably, authentically, and in full technicolor neurodiversity. Today, Jamison helps other men rewrite that script. Whether clients are wrestling with ADHD-fueled impulsivity, autistic social fatigue, or the quiet dread of “never enough,” he offers a space where strength and sensitivity coexist—where tears, laughter, and profanity can all live in the same sentence. In Men’s Work, Jamison Guides Clients to: Decode Emotional Overload – separating neurological overwhelm from “weakness.” Transform Shutdowns & Outbursts – mapping triggers, building regulation tools, and practicing direct requests instead of silent resentment. Cultivate Shame-Resilience – replacing self-berating narratives with self-compassion rooted in accurate brain science. Align Identity with Values – moving from inherited roles to consciously chosen definitions of partner, father, friend, and man. Because masculinity doesn’t need to be torn down – it needs a broader definition that includes every neurotype, every emotion, and every voice. Trauma, Overwhelm, & EMDR Jamison is trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), a research-backed approach that helps the brain reprocess painful experiences so they stop running the show in the present. He uses EMDR with clients whose lives are shaped by: Old shame stories that won’t loosen their grip. Medical, relational, or childhood trauma that still lives in the body. Freeze, flight, or shutdown responses that feel automatic and out of proportion. Because many neurodivergent clients process information visually, somatically, or in “high-def” detail, Jamison tailors EMDR to honor sensory needs, pacing, and consent at every step. That can mean more preparation, slower sets, clear stop signals, and lots of collaboration about what feels safe. The goal isn’t to erase the past. It’s to take the charge out of it—so flashbacks become memories, triggers soften, and people can respond from choice instead of reflex. Specialties & Approach Late-identified ADHD & Autism in adults Neurodiverse couples communication & intimacy Executive-function coaching for real life Men’s issues & redefining masculinity Attachment & trauma-informed, person-centered care Emotionally Focused Therapy Gottman-inspired skills Somatic & creative techniques EMDR-informed trauma work License &Employment Information Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #151355 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Neurodiverse Couples, Autism, ADHD, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Emotional Regulation, Attachment, Communication, Family Conflict, Emotional Intimacy, Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients, Blended Families, Discernment, General Couples Coaching, Sex/Physical Intimacy, Cassandra Syndrome, Trauma Jamison Haase Take an Autism Test

Neurodiverse Couples Retreats WHAT IS A NEURODIVERSE COUPLES RETREAT? If you are in a neurodiverse relationship and feel like you need significant support, you're in the right place. Our Neurodiverse Couples Retreat offers private, personalized therapy sessions designed specifically with you and your partner in mind. This isn’t a group retreat – every aspect is tailored to address the unique dynamics of your relationship , ensuring you receive the focused attention and care you deserve. Whether you prefer remote sessions or an in-person experience , we provide a customized environment to help you reconnect and grow. Jumpstart Your Relationship Our retreats offer an opportunity to jumpstart your relationship in ways that weekly therapy often cannot. To maintain the progress you make, we also offer ongoing support after the retreat, helping you sustain and build upon your momentum. Our Team Our team consists of experts in neurodiverse relationships , trained to understand the nuances of autism, ADHD, and other neuro-differences. We recognize how these differences influence relationships and approach each couple with empathy and expertise. Unlike traditional therapists who may inadvertently try to fit neurodivergent partners into a neurotypical mold, we celebrate and work with the strengths of neurodiversity. Our specialists are skilled at getting to the heart of the matter quickly, providing insight and guidance that can transform your relationship. Flexible and Accessible We know you live a busy so, so we offer multiple retreat options to fit your schedule. Online couples therapy intensives are a powerful alternative to weekly sessions. A one-day retreat can serve as a valuable tune-up, while a three-day retreat can achieve the equivalent of three months of therapy in just a few focused days. If you’re ready to embrace a new path forward and rediscover the beauty in your neurodiverse partnership, we invite you to learn more and take the first step toward meaningful change. Click the link below to visit our dedicated site, Neurodiverse Couples Retreats , and explore everything our retreats have to offer! Visit Neurodiverse Couples Retreats Top 5 Frequently asked questions 1. Who are these retreats for? Our retreats are specially designed for Neurodiverse couples. You can read all about "neurodiversity" and our imperfect attempt at describing it at our parent site, the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center . We also welcome all types of relationships: married, partnered, engaged, or even just dating And all genders: female male non-binary And all combinations of the above! 2. Will other couples be involved? No. These are private therapy sessions, not small group retreats. 3. What happens at the retreat? Well, that depends on what your unique set of needs are but here is a SAMPLE healing schedule: ASSESSMENT AND PLANNING Review your background so we understand the challenges. We do this based on the intake forms you will complete before the retreat. Clarify your goals and build a healing and growth roadmap. Learn to identify and understand your differences with a focus of appreciating strengths and supporting areas where each of you struggle. NEURODIVERSE FUNDAMENTALS Communication across the neurodiversity divide Setting neurodiverse-sensitive boundaries Time together and apart Finding new ways for connection WORK ON PATTERNS Identify triggers from past wounds and learn new strategies to cope in a better way. Break old patterns that are based on misunderstanding your brain differences. Work to build new health patterns with a neurodiverse-aware approach. HEALING TRAUMA Identify emotional wounds that are rooted in: your current relationship and your childhood. Work on healing and forgiveness of wounds. APPLICATION TO EVERY DAY ISSUES Kids Work Money Sex Travel / Vacation In-laws Sleep POST-RETREAT PLANNING Build a support system in the relationship and for each person. Build a relationship vision that recognizes the strengths and challenges of your neurodiversity. Construct an on-going maintenance plan for after the retreat. Please know that: We NEVER cover all the topics listed above but jointly figure out what would be most helpful to you. Every therapist will have her own variation on the sample approach shown above. 4. When does the retreat occur? Since the retreats are for one couple at a time, we work to make it fit your schedule. 5. Why should we attend? Online couples therapy intensives are a compelling alternative to weekly couples therapy. For example: Our 1 day retreat can serve as a serious tune-up for your relationship, and. Our 3 day retreat is the equivalent to 3 months of therapy in just a few days. In a focused and concise way, our highly trained neurodiverse couples specialists get to the heart of the matter quickly and with great care. We utilize neurodiverse-sensitive methods to give you the best chance at understanding and healing what’s not working in your relationship. We Offer Virtual & In-person Retreats VIRTUAL: Join the retreat virtually from the comfort of your home. IN-PERSON: Or fly to California for a true retreat getaway. Ready to change your relationship and improve your overall quality of life? Visit Neurodiverse Couples Retreats Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Discover how much you may be masking ADHD traits with this free 28-question screener. Get a personalized masking profile across 7 key areas including emotional suppression, social camouflaging, and perfectionism.

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Harry Motro, PsyD, Clinical Director, LMFT Listen to the Summary below: Listen to a podcast-style audio summary of this research. It’s an excellent way to digest these new findings quickly. Beyond the "Spectrum": New Science Reveals 4 Distinct Types of Autism 15:54 ism Trait Wheel For decades, we’ve used the word "spectrum" to describe autism. We visualize a linear line stretching from "mild" to "severe," trying to find where we or our loved ones fit. But in my years working with neurodiverse couples, that model has often felt incomplete. It doesn’t quite capture the brilliant engineer who struggles to read his wife’s facial expressions, or the deeply empathetic partner who shuts down when overwhelmed by sensory noise. Now, groundbreaking research is finally catching up to what we see in the therapy room every day. A new study from Princeton University and the Flatiron Institute suggests that autism isn't just one thing—it’s actually four distinct biological types , each with its own genetic timeline. How This Research Was Done This discovery wasn't based on simple behavioral observations. It utilized sophisticated genetic analysis and advanced computational science (AI) that wasn't possible even a few years ago. By applying machine learning to analyze massive genetic datasets from the Simons Foundation, scientists were able to decompose complex data into clear patterns. This allowed them to see distinct biological "signatures" that the human eye—and traditional diagnostic tools—had previously missed. Our Client Base: The "Invisible" Majority What is most fascinating about this research is that the first two groups identified—comprising about 70% of the population —are the exact individuals we work with most frequently at the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center . These are the partners who often mask well, hold down successful careers, but struggle deeply with the relational and social demands of marriage. Here is the breakdown of the four (4) distinct phenotypes (types): 1. The "Social and/or Behavioral" Type Prevalence: ~37% (The largest group). Typical Diagnosis Age: Late (Age 6+ to Adulthood). Clinical Presentation: Individuals are often high-functioning and cognitively brilliant but struggle significantly with social demands. There is a high comorbidity with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. Biological Markers: Late-Activation Genes. Mutations are present at birth but often do not "activate" until later in childhood or adolescence. Suggested Clinical Focus: Mental health integration (treating anxiety/ADHD), executive function coaching, and support with relationship dynamics rather than basic developmental skills. 2. The "Moderate Challenges" Type Prevalence: ~33%. Typical Diagnosis Age: Variable (often missed in early screenings). Clinical Presentation: Displays the hallmark traits of neurodivergence—such as social communication differences and repetitive habits—but without the cognitive delays seen in other groups. Biological Markers: Subtle Genetic Architecture. Driven by "common variants" scattered throughout the DNA rather than single, high-impact mutations. Suggested Clinical Focus: Strength-based support focusing on self-advocacy, sensory regulation, and "translating" social nuances. 3. The "Mixed" Type Prevalence: ~19%. Typical Diagnosis Age: Early (Toddlerhood). Clinical Presentation: A complex presentation involving early developmental delays (speech or motor skills), yet often showing fewer emotional struggles like anxiety or aggression compared to the first group. Biological Markers: Variable Expression. Linked to a high rate of inherited rare variants, where genes are often active prenatally. Suggested Clinical Focus: Developmental support, with speech, occupational, and physical therapy often being the primary interventions. 4. The "Broadly Affected" Type Prevalence: ~10% (The smallest group). Typical Diagnosis Age: Very Early (Infancy/Toddler). Clinical Presentation: Severe challenges across all domains, including communication, social interaction, and daily living skills. Biological Markers: High-Impact Mutations. Often linked to "de novo" (spontaneous) mutations that occur for the first time in the child. Suggested Clinical Focus: Comprehensive care requiring high-level support needs, often involving complex medical and behavioral care planning. Visualizing the Complexity: The Autism Trait Wheel Because these "types" are not rigid boxes, we need better tools to visualize how they show up in real life. This is why we utilize the Autism Trait Wheel in our assessments. Rather than a straight line from "less autistic" to "more autistic," the Trait Wheel allows us to map a person's unique strengths and struggles across specific categories—like sensory processing, executive function, and social perception. It helps us see exactly where you fit within these new biological categories. Why This Matters for Your Relationship This research is profoundly validating because it offers a biological answer to the question many of our clients ask: "Why now?" Many partners we see are confused because they navigated childhood successfully—hitting milestones, performing well in school—only to hit a wall in adulthood when the complexities of marriage, parenting, or career dynamics increased. This study reveals that for the largest group of autistic individuals, the genes involved may not even activate until later in development. This means your current struggles aren't a sign of regression or failure; they are simply the result of a distinct biological timeline. Understanding this helps us move away from blame and toward our core goal: acting as a "Translator" to bridge the gap between neurological languages. You don't need to bridge this gap alone. Let’s work together to translate your neurological differences into a shared language that works for your marriage. [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners References Cha, A. E. (2024). New science points to 4 distinct types of autism. The Washington Post . https://apple.news/AbM0W3IXWQc2fzc39hfMLzA Litman, A., Sauerwald, N., Snyder, L. G., Foss-Feig, J., Park, C. Y., Hao, Y., Dinstein, I., Theesfeld, C. L., & Troyanskaya, O. G. (2025). Decomposition of phenotypic heterogeneity in autism reveals underlying genetic programs. Nature Genetics . https://doi.org/10.1038/s41588-025-02224-z Matuskey, D., Yang, Y., Naganawa, M., ... & McPartland, J. C. (2024). 11C-UCB-J PET imaging is consistent with lower synaptic density in autistic adults. Molecular Psychiatry , 30, 1610–1616. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41380-024-02776-2 Zhang, X., et al. (2025). Polygenic and developmental profiles of autism differ by age at diagnosis. Nature . https://doi.org/10.1038/s41586-025-09542-6 Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

You know that catchy song, “ Don’t Worry, Be Happy” ? It’s an anthem of carefree joy, but when you’re in a neurodiverse relationship, it’s not always that simple. What happens when worry isn’t something you can just shake off with a smile? What if your worry feels completely different from your partner’s, and you’re not sure how to sync up? In neurodiverse couples, worry is a tricky beast —it can look completely different depending on who’s feeling it. So, let’s take a closer look at why your worry—and your partner’s—might not match up and how you can turn that tension into deeper connection. 🔄 Worry Shows Up Differently for Each of You 🔄 For the neurodivergent partner , worry often stems from an intense focus on details or potential problems . It could be a change in routine, an unclear conversation, or sensory overload. Things that seem insignificant to you might trigger worry for them—because their brain is looking for structure, certainty, and predictability. On the flip side, the neurotypical partner’s worry is often rooted in emotional concerns : "Do they love me enough?" "Am I being understood?" These emotional fears don’t always make sense to the neurodivergent partner, who might respond logically with: “Everything’s fine. Why worry?” But that dismissive response can feel like a brush-off, heightening the emotional anxiety for the neurotypical partner. 💡 Transforming Worry from Tension to Connection The trick is understanding the root of each other’s worry—and using that knowledge to support each other. For the Neurotypical Partner: How to Express Your Worry Without Misunderstanding Pause before assuming your neurodivergent partner doesn’t care or isn’t worried. They may simply be processing things differently. Express your concerns calmly, without judgment. Share why this worries you emotionally, so your partner can understand your experience. For the Neurodivergent Partner: How to Acknowledge and Respond to Your Partner’s Worry Acknowledge the worry your partner might be feeling—even if it doesn’t make sense to you. A simple, “I see that you’re worried and how hard that is for you,” can go a long way. You don’t have to feel the same worry to understand the discomfort it causes your partner. 🧠 Why Worry Can Actually Be a Strength 🧠 Worry isn’t inherently negative—it’s a signal from your brain. For the neurodivergent partner, it’s often a cue that something is off, and their worry helps them stay in control. For the neurotypical partner, worry can reveal emotional needs that need attention and validation. Both types of worry are valid. By listening to each other’s concerns and respecting those differences, you can turn worry from a source of tension into a tool for growth. 🛠️ How We Can Help 🛠️ At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center , we know that worry doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker—it can be a doorway to deeper understanding. Our neuro-informed specialists work with couples like you to: Navigate communication gaps around worry and anxiety, helping both partners feel heard and understood. Reframe worry as a tool for growth, so it becomes an opportunity to explore each other’s inner worlds. Develop coping strategies tailored to the unique needs of neurodiverse couples, allowing both partners to coexist in a space where they feel supported and emotionally safe. Let’s Talk About It 💬 Does this resonate with you? Have you noticed the differences in how you and your partner experience worry? Reply to this email and share your thoughts—we’d love to hear from you! Warmly, Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center 🔦 Spotlight on Daniel Chung If worry is a constant struggle for you, or if navigating relationships feels overwhelming, Daniel Chung offers a compassionate and practical approach to healing and growth. With over 20 years of experience, Daniel works with individuals, couples, and families to address challenges like anxiety, grief, and complex relational dynamics, including those in neurodiverse partnerships. His focus is on creating a safe, judgment-free space where clients feel seen and supported as they develop tools for emotional, spiritual, and relational wellness. Daniel’s approach blends empathy and expertise, drawing from his rich professional background and personal experience as a devoted husband and father. His specialties include affair recovery, parenting, and Christian couples counseling, with tailored support for neurodiverse couples to foster deeper understanding and connection. Specialties: Neurodiverse Couples Therapy : Helping partners bridge communication gaps and build lasting trust. Restoration Therapy & Emotion-Focused Therapy : Transforming destructive cycles into healthy relational patterns. Trauma-Informed, CBT, & Experiential Techniques : Practical strategies for healing tailored to each client’s unique needs. Daniel’s holistic, client-centered care empowers clients to overcome struggles, embrace their strengths, and thrive in life and relationships. Contact Dan Today! Did you miss the last Blog? Click Here to Read Now! Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Cassie Clayton, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Cassie Think You May be Masking Your Autistic Traits? The Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) may be used to identify autistic individuals who do not currently meet diagnostic criteria due to their ability to mask. Take the CAT-Q Test Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Picture This: You and your partner have a cherished weekly tradition of visiting your favorite coffee shop. It’s a comforting ritual, a cornerstone of your weekend. ☕️ But this Saturday, you arrive to find it permanently closed. For the autistic partner, this sudden loss of a familiar space feels like a small catastrophe, throwing their day into disarray. Meanwhile, the allistic partner struggles to understand why they can't simply switch to another coffee shop among the many available. Today, we’re discussing the significant impact of routines and how the misinterpretation of resistance to change can lead to painful conflict in neurodiverse relationships. Whether it’s finding a new coffee spot or adjusting to bigger life changes, understanding and managing these shifts is crucial for maintaining a supportive and thriving partnership. ☕️ 🔄 The Power of Routine in Neurodiverse Relationships 🏡 👍 For many of us, especially in the neurodiverse community, routines are not just about comfort—they are essential. They provide a framework of predictability that reduces anxiety and manages sensory input. These routines foster a stable environment where both partners feel secure and supported, enabling daily life to be more manageable and less anxiety-inducing. Understanding Why Change Is Challenging for Autistic Individuals 🌪️ 🧠 To fully grasp the hurdles faced by autistic individuals during times of change, let's delve deeper into the specific challenges that can arise and explore how these can impact their daily experiences and interactions. Difficulty Understanding What's Coming Next 🤷♂️ ♂️ The uncertainty of what follows after a change can be particularly daunting for autistic individuals. This inability to anticipate the next steps can lead to significant anxiety as it disrupts the mental preparation that is typically relied upon to navigate the day. Establishing a predictable environment is crucial for reducing this anxiety, and when that predictability is lost, it can feel like navigating without a map. This sensation of being lost can make even the smallest changes seem insurmountable, heightening the resistance to altering routines. Difficulty When a Pattern of Behavior is Disrupted 🔄 Autistic individuals often rely heavily on established patterns and routines to manage daily life effectively. These routines provide a sense of order and understanding. When these patterns are disrupted, it can cause a ripple effect of stress and confusion, making it challenging to adapt to new situations. Sensory Issues 🌟 Changes can introduce unfamiliar sensory experiences that can be overwhelming and difficult to manage. For autistic individuals, sensory sensitivities are common, and unexpected sensory input can be particularly jarring, leading to sensory overload . This can include changes in lighting, noise levels, or even the introduction of new smells and textures. Struggling to Foresee the Future 🔮 Many autistic individuals find it challenging to visualize or plan for future scenarios, particularly when changes are involved. This difficulty with abstract thinking can make it harder to mentally prepare for or adapt to new situations as they arise. The inability to foresee the future can result in a reluctance to engage with new experiences, as the unknown becomes a source of significant anxiety and potential distress. Overwhelmed by Rapidly Changing Circumstances 🌪️ Rapid changes demand quick adaptations, which can be particularly overwhelming for those who process sensory and cognitive information in unique ways. The need to quickly switch strategies or routines without ample time to adjust can lead to a state of overwhelm and shutdown, where coping mechanisms may fail, and stress levels can escalate quickly. Difficulty Reading Social Cues 👥 Navigating social situations is often more challenging for autistic individuals, particularly during times of change when new and unfamiliar social cues may present. Difficulty in reading these cues can exacerbate the stress of social interactions and lead to misunderstandings or social anxiety. This can make socializing in new environments or with new people a significant challenge, as misreading cues or missing subtle social signals can lead to inappropriate responses or increased social isolation. Misinterpretations and Problematic Cycles 🔁 💔 In neurodiverse relationships, resistance to change is often misinterpreted as inflexibility or an unwillingness to compromise. This misunderstanding can spark a cycle of frustration and resentment, as neurotypical partners might see the resistance as a lack of effort or care. This can initiate a problematic cycle where one partner feels misunderstood and overwhelmed, while the other feels neglected or rejected. Breaking this cycle starts with recognizing and understanding these dynamics. Strategies for Managing Change Together 🗣️ 💬 Mastering Change Dialogues 💬 Mastering the art of communication forms the cornerstone of successfully managing change within any relationship. Diving into open, honest discussions about emotions, apprehensions, and the impacts of change can cultivate a nurturing environment. Regular, proactive conversations are vital, establishing a routine that anticipates needs rather than simply reacting to them . Creating a safe space where each person feels genuinely heard and validated can greatly alleviate the anxiety linked to changes, making the adjustment process smoother for everyone involved. Step-by-Step Adaptation 🐾 Implementing changes gradually is essential to ensure that transitions feel manageable rather than overwhelming. By introducing new routines or changes incrementally, both partners, particularly the autistic one, can adapt at a comfortable pace. This method allows for continuous monitoring and adjusting of the process, addressing any discomfort or challenges as they arise. Celebrating each small victory along the way can boost morale and visibly demonstrate the progress being made, reinforcing the positive aspects of these changes. Balancing Flexibility and Routine 🌿 ⏳ Embracing both flexibility and routine is essential for navigating the ever-changing landscape of life while maintaining a sense of stability. Cultivating a flexible mindset allows you to adapt to unforeseen circumstances and explore alternative outcomes, which can reduce the stress often associated with a strict adherence to initial plans. Simultaneously, maintaining certain routines provides a reliable structure that can anchor you amidst change, offering predictability and comfort. This dual approach not only diminishes pressure but also encourages a balanced, creative problem-solving process, potentially leading to more effective and satisfying outcomes. Enhancing Collaboration with a Counselor 🤝 Adding a counselor into your support network can be a transformative approach during periods of change, particularly when navigating complex dynamics within a relationship. Our counselors can play a crucial role by providing unbiased emotional support, understanding, and expert guidance. This external perspective not only brings fresh insights into the challenges at hand but also offers strategies and tools that the couple might not have considered. Click Here To Match With An Expert We will ensure that both partners feel heard and valued, strengthening your ability to collaboratively manage transitions. Here for You 💑 Navigating changes in neurodiverse relationships isn't straightforward, and it's okay to seek support. At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, we provide specialized assistance for couples facing these unique challenges. Whether you need guidance through transitions or help managing daily routines, our team is here to support your journey towards a stronger partnership. Together, let's transform the challenges of change into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. Every step forward, no matter how small, is a step towards a more understanding and resilient relationship. 💪🏽🌟 Warmest regards, Harry Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, PsyD Dr. Motro is a registered Marriage and Family Therapist #53452 and the Founder/Clinical Director of the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Are you curious about whether or not you have autism/ADHD? Want to learn more about yourself and take the first step towards deeper self-understanding? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

ADHD and sex can be a wild combination. At its best, it’s electric—intimate, intense, full of energy.At its worst? Scattered, impulsive, confusing. Many ADHDers feel deeply present one moment—then drift off mid-connection. They want to be great lovers and attentive partners… But distraction, urgency, or miscommunication keeps getting in the way. It’s not about caring less. It’s about how your brain works. That’s why we created the ADHD Sexual Intimacy Measure (ADHD-SIM‑24) . This self-assessment helps you decode how your brain's wiring impacts your sex life—especially when it comes to focus, impulse, and connection. You’ll rate your level of agreement with statements like: “I can pause and check in with my partner even when I'm excited.” “My mind often drifts to unrelated thoughts when I'm intimate.” “I find it difficult to wait when I want sexual contact." The ADHD-SIM-24 only takes about 5–7 minutes. And instead of a vague “you’re doing fine” or “you need help,” it gives you real insights. You’ll get five scores: One total score that reflects your overall intimacy profile Four targeted subscales showing your patterns in: Attention & Presence Impulse Control & Risk Boundaries & Consent Relationship Communication & Satisfaction These subscales are the real magic—they help you pinpoint where things feel smooth and where they get sticky. Maybe your focus is strong, but boundaries get fuzzy.Maybe you’re great at communicating—but struggle to pause before acting. This gives you the map. 👉 Take the ADHD-SIM-24 If you’d like to process your results with someone who gets both ADHD and intimacy challenges, our neuro-informed specialists are here. No shame. Just support. With care, Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center P.S. If you’re in a relationship where one partner is autistic and the other has ADHD, it’s not just a double dose—it’s a double puzzle. We'd love to help you with that too. Get Matched with a Therapist 🔦 Spotlight on Liz McClanahan Specialties Neurodiverse Couples Therapy Autism & ADHD Parenting Autistic Children Intimacy, Sex, Affair Recovery Anger Management Life Transitions Personal Experience My husband is on the Autism Spectrum and received his diagnosis later in life. I am so proud of my 26-year marriage and the fact that we were able to reconcile after a divorce and remarry. My two children are also on the Spectrum. They have taught me how differences can be intensely beautiful and frustrating at the same time. Learn more about Liz! © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these questionnaires may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Chris Mercurio Neurodiverse Couples Specialist | Associate Marriage and Family Therapist At a Glance Neurodiverse couples and individuals Systems thinker with 20 years in tech Author of Therapy for Engineers and Everyone Else Integrative clinician focused on getting unstuck Trauma informed, neurodiversity affirming Long-term recovery I work with neurodiverse couples and individuals who feel stuck in patterns that logic alone cannot resolve. Many of the people I see are thoughtful, capable, and deeply invested in their relationships, yet continue to run into the same breakdowns around communication, emotional connection, and day-to-day functioning. My work focuses on helping people understand why these patterns persist and how to interrupt them in ways that actually fit their nervous systems. Much of my clinical focus is with ADHD neurotypical–neurodivergent and dual-neurodivergent couples navigating pursuit–withdraw cycles, invisible labor imbalances, emotional overload, and chronic misunderstanding. I also work with neurodivergent individuals experiencing burnout, masking exhaustion, executive dysfunction, and grief related to late diagnosis or long-term misattunement. Rather than organizing my work around a single modality, I use an integrative framework built around five core elements that consistently drive change across effective therapies: Experience and Emotion Change requires more than insight. We work with lived emotional experience, not just ideas about it. Brain and Body Integration Patterns are held in the nervous system, not just the mind. Regulation and pacing matter. Parts and Wholeness Conflicting internal states are understood as adaptive responses, not pathology, and worked with rather than overridden. Healing Relationship Safety, attunement, and direct communication are central. The relationship itself is part of the work. Insight and Awareness Insight emerges once regulation and safety are in place, allowing new choices rather than repeated reactions. These elements allow flexibility. We enter where it feels safest and most accessible rather than forcing a sequence that does not fit the person or couple in front of me. Personal Background & Perspective My understanding of neurodivergent relationship dynamics began early. I grew up in a household shaped by a parent's undiagnosed ADHD, navigating the daily realities of different communication styles, emotional regulation patterns, and stress responses across nearly two decades of family life. Those formative years taught me what it means to live inside the friction of mismatched operating systems in intimate relationships. Not as an observer, but as someone adapting to and learning from those differences daily. I've also navigated neurodivergent dynamics in adult partnerships and spent nearly two decades working in tech environments where ADHD and autistic cognitive styles were common. While workplace collaboration differs from intimate partnership, that professional immersion reinforced my understanding of neurodivergent patterns as natural variation rather than dysfunction. These combined experiences inform my belief that people are stuck, not broken, and that sustainable change requires working with nervous system realities rather than overriding them. What to Expect in Session I communicate directly and literally while staying sensitive to your feelings. I help uncover unspoken or implied meanings. Sessions are structured, collaborative, and goal-oriented. I accommodate neurodivergent needs including movement, fidgeting, reduced eye contact, and written summaries when helpful. Resistance is understood as regulation rather than defiance. We work with what your nervous system can tolerate rather than pushing past it. Clients often tell me they feel understood without being pathologized. License, Training, & More Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #156566 Trained in ACT, CBT, DBT, EFT, IFS, and Process Therapy Couples work integrates Gottman, Couples Institute, and EFT for Couples Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology, Santa Clara University Author of Therapy for Engineers and Everyone Else Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients, Neurodiverse Couples, ADHD, Autism, Communication, ACT, CBT, DBT, Emotional Intimacy, Addiction, ND at Work, ASD/Allistic Couples, AuDHD, Betrayal/Affair Recovery, Discernment, Emotional Regulation, General Couples Coaching, Integrative Spiritual Therapy, Intimate Partner Violence, Life Transitions, Trauma, Attachment, Assessment, Emotion Focused Therapy Chris Mercurio Take an Autism Test

AuDHD Explained: Why 1 + 1 Equals Something Completely Different AuDHD isn’t just “autism + ADHD.” Each condition brings its own wiring, and when those wires cross they spark something new. Here’s how the pieces fit together in four key areas. Sensory‑Driven Impulsivity Autism Side ADHD Side Heightened sensitivity to sound, light, texture, and movement. Low brake‑power on impulses; the brain jumps to act before reflecting. Nervous system hits “alert” faster and stays there longer. Quick, dopamine‑seeking reactions (blurt, click, scroll). The AuDHD mix Sensory overload slams into impulse control. A sudden noise or scratchy tag triggers an automatic “Get me out of here!” response—leaving mid‑meeting, lashing out, or diving into an online rabbit hole. Calm the senses first, and impulses get easier to manage. Hyperfocus + Time Blindness Autism Side ADHD Side Deep, absorbing focus on interests; can tune out the world. Interest‑based attention that locks on when something feels rewarding. Comfort in predictable, repetitive tasks. Weak internal clock; minutes and hours blur together. The AuDHD mix Focus locks in hard —then the clock disappears. You emerge three hours later hungry, late, and flooded with alerts. Effective support pairs sensory cues (vibration, light change) with exit rituals to shift attention without losing the satisfying flow. Social‑Executive Collisions Autism Side ADHD Side Extra effort to read facial cues, tone, and unwritten social rules. Working‑memory slips (What was I about to say?) and impulse interruptions (Speak now!). Preference for direct, literal communication. Difficulty sequencing complex tasks—like conversation turn‑taking. The AuDHD mix You’re decoding expressions and juggling a racing thought stream. Executive hiccups (memory gaps, sudden comments) crash into social decoding, causing talking over someone, blanking on names, or freezing mid‑sentence. Shared agendas, written cues, and explicit turn‑taking reduce overload on both fronts. Regulation Rollercoaster Autism Side ADHD Side Nervous system swings with sensory environment; recovery can be slow. Energy spikes and crashes tied to interest level and dopamine cycles. Need for predictable routines to maintain equilibrium. Emotion regulation can be swift but short‑lived. The AuDHD mix Energy, mood, and alertness rise and fall more sharply—and unpredictably. A calm morning shifts to sensory chaos at lunch and wired exhaustion by night. The fix isn’t rigid schedules; it’s flexible, sensory‑smart strategies—noise‑cancelers, movement breaks, mindful stims—that match each peak and valley. The Bottom line AuDHD shows up where autistic sensitivities and ADHD dynamics intersect. Recognize the combined pattern, and you can target supports that work with—not against—your unique wiring. Take our Adult Autism Screener Take our Adult ADHD Screener Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Exercises for Neurodiverse Couples Trait Wheels View the Exercise A visual way to explore your partner’s traits and build empathy, clarity, and connection.

By Michelle Karth, PhD, Adult Autism Assessment Center Picture This: You're sitting next to your partner right after receiving some good news. Maybe you finally secured an impossible dinner reservation you've been hyper-fixating on, or an intricate project you’ve been working on for months just perfectly clicked into place. Internally, there are fireworks. You are experiencing pure, unadulterated joy. You’re sitting down, completely content, when out of the blue you hear, “ Are you alright? ” You’re startled by the comment. "Yeah, I'm great," you say. Because you are great. "Are you sure? You look upset." "I’m not upset. I'm thrilled." You know your partner means well, but now you’re...angry. You’re angry because you’re being accused of an emotion that you aren’t feeling, and now you have to perform emotional labor to prove you aren't upset. This mismatch between your internal state and your external display is one of the most common friction points for neurodivergent adults. Here’s another example that many neurodivergent people face: I was at a concert a few years ago when I was living in England, and I was ecstatic. I never thought I’d see this band live, but here I was, waiting in line. It was drizzling, and we slowly made our way to the doorway of the O2 Arena. Almost there, a security guard said to me, “ Oh, don’t look so sad, it’s a concert” . That completely took me by surprise because I couldn’t have been happier. This exchange didn’t ruin the concert for me, but I still remember the awkward way it made me feel. Here is the truth: Your face isn't broken. It’s functioning on a different operating system. The Science: It’s Not Malice, It’s Motor Planning In the neurodivergent community, we often call this "Flat Affect." Clinicians might call it "reduced facial expressivity." But let’s look at neuroscience, because it validates your experience in a validating way. Research shows that the production of facial expressions is a complex sensorimotor behavior. In autistic individuals, there’s often a disruption in the connectivity between the primary somatosensory cortex (S1) and the primary motor cortex (M1) specifically related to the face. This means the feedback loop that tells your brain "I’m smiling" or "I’m frowning" is quieter. So when I’m standing in an ecstatic concert crowd with a ‘frown’ on my face, or I don’t look excited after receiving a gift…it’s not that I’m unhappy, it’s just that my face is slow to catch up. Autistic people often show diminished muscle action in the upper face (the eyes and eyebrows) compared to neurotypical people. Since the eyes are where neurotypical people look to determine "genuine" emotion, your lack of movement there registers to them as coldness or anger. My dad once said to me when I was a kid, that he and I have a ‘problem’ because we always look so serious and angry. I understand now that, one, my dad may have been undiagnosed autistic, and two, why I look so serious to people all the time! This isn't about you or me lacking feelings. Studies contradict that mentality. They show that while observers struggle to identify happy or sad expressions in autistic people, they often rate our expressions of fear or anger as more intense than those of non-autistic people. This means we feel deeply. But the way our brains function to broadcast those feelings are wired differently. The Double Empathy Problem: A Clash of Channels The conflict you experience with people who question if you’re ‘alright’ involves a theory called the Double Empathy Problem . In the past, psychology has blamed us for "lacking empathy." So people have begun to believe this stereotype. However, the Double Empathy Problem flips this mentality. It argues that we don’t lack empathy. Instead, communication breakdowns occur because autistic and neurotypical people have distinct, valid, and different communication styles. Unfortunately, neurotypical people prioritize the Non-Verbal Channel. They read tone, facial expression, and body language to determine truth. So when we say "I'm fine" (and really mean it) but our face suggests otherwise, they trust the face. I think one of the moments this hits hardest is during gift-giving. It brings up so much anxiety for me. I never want the person who chose the gift to feel disappointed, or to think I’m ungrateful or unhappy. The fear of hurting their feelings can overshadow the moment entirely. Autistic people prioritize the Verbal Channel. We mean what we say. We weigh the literal data of the words more heavily than the performance of the face. My autistic sister will often complain, “why can’t people just say what they mean!?” And, I can’t help but agree. The Translation: You vs. The World When this mismatch in communication happens, it creates a feedback loop of defensiveness. To the Autistic Partner, it feels like: • Gaslighting: "I know how I feel. Why are you telling me I feel something else?" • Exhaustion: "I have to manually operate my face like a puppet just to be believed." • Confusion: "I answered the question honestly. Why are we fighting?" From personal experience, it’s exhausting having to pretend to be overly happy when you feel perfectly fine. To the Neurotypical Partner, it feels like: • Rejection: "Their face is blank/stone-cold. They must be bored with me or judging me." • Hostility: "I can feel tension (which might actually be your sensory overwhelm), but they’re denying it." • Dishonesty: "Their words don't match their face, so they must be lying." The Tools: Bridging the Gap As autistic people, we can’t rewire our motor cortex, nor should we want to. However, we can hack the communication dynamic to stop the fights before they spiral. 1: Believe the Verbal Channel This is a rule for the relationship. If you say, "I am not mad," the partner must accept that as data. The Double Empathy Problem teaches us that "empathy collapse" happens when the non-autistic partner stops trusting the verbal channel because the non-verbal channel isn't giving them the dopamine hit of reassurance they expect. 2: Name the "Resting Face" Explicitly label when your face is resting. "I’m just in power-saving mode." "My face is offline because I’m thinking." This reduces the ambiguity that causes your partner’s anxiety to spike. 3: Check for Alexithymia About 50% of autistic people have Alexithymia —difficulty identifying their own emotions. Sometimes, you are distressed, but you haven't processed it yet. If you aren't sure, try saying: "I don't have a label for my feeling yet. I need 10 minutes to scan my body." 4: The "Manual Mode Disclaimer" If you have to have a serious conversation, prep your partner: "I’m going to focus really hard on listening to your words, which means my face might go flat. Please don't read into it." Your neutral face is not a deficit . It’s often a sign of deep processing or necessary sensory regulation. You do not need to smile to be worthy of connection. You just need to be understood. If you are tired of being mistranslated, you aren't alone. Curious about where you land on the spectrum of traits? The Autism Spectrum Quotient Test (AQ) or the Ritvo Autism & Asperger Diagnostic Scale (RAADS-14) can be illuminating first steps. If this dynamic feels all too familiar, we are here to help. For neuro-informed couples or individual therapy, click here. For an assessment and/or diagnosis, click here. Michelle Karth, PhD Adult Autism Assessment Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Resources & Further Reading Bress, K. S., & Cascio, C. J. (2024). Sensorimotor regulation of facial expression—An untouched frontier. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews , 162, 105684. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12603653/ Brewer, R., Biotti, F., Catmur, C., Press, C., Happé, F. G. E., Cook, R., Bird, G. (2016). Can neurotypical individuals read autistic facial expressions? Atypical production of emotional facial expressions in autism spectrum disorders. Autism Research , 9(2), 262–271. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12332230/ Calderoli, E. A. T., Varriale, M. C., & Kapczinski, F. (2026). A Distinct Communication Strategies Model of the Double Empathy Problem. arXiv preprint arXiv:2602.02562 . https://arxiv.org/abs/2602.02562 Cheang, R. T., Skjevling, M., Blakemore, A. I., Kumari, V., & Puzzo, I. (2024). Do you feel me? Autism, empathic accuracy and the double empathy problem. Autism , 29(9), 2315–2327. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12332230/ Guha, T., Yang, Z., Grossman, R. B., & Narayanan, S. S. (2018). A computational study of expressive facial dynamics in children with autism. IEEE Transactions on Affective Computing , 9(1), 14–20. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6022860/ Hull, L., Mandy, W., Lai, M. C., Baron-Cohen, S., Allison, C., Smith, P., ... & Petrides, K. V. (2019). Development and validation of the camouflaging autistic traits questionnaire (CAT-Q). Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders , 49, 819-833. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12659362/ Kothare, H., Ramanarayanan, V., Neumann, M., Liscombe, J., Richter, V., Lampinen, L., ... & Demopoulos, C. (2024). Vocal and facial behavior during affect production in autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research , 68(2), 419-434. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/387226682_Vocal_and_Facial_Behavior_During_Affect_Production_in_Autism_Spectrum_Disorder Kothare, H., Roesler, O., Burke, W., Neumann, M., Liscombe, J., Exner, A., ... & Ramanarayanan, V. (2022). Speech, facial and fine motor features for conversation-based remote assessment and monitoring of Parkinson’s disease. 44th Annual International Conference of the IEEE Engineering in Medicine & Biology Society (EMBC) , 3464-3467. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12603653/ Milton, D. E. M. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: The ‘double empathy problem’. Disability & Society , 27(6), 883–887. https://arxiv.org/abs/2602.02562 Northrup, J. B., Mazefsky, C. A., & Day, T. N. (2024). Valence and intensity of emotional expression in autistic and non-autistic toddlers. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders , 55(3), 832–842. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11297193/ Trevisan, D. A., Bowering, M., & Birmingham, E. (2016). Alexithymia, but not autism spectrum disorder, may be related to the production of emotional facial expressions. Molecular Autism , 7, 46. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5106821/ Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

"Why can't you look me in the eye?" Have you ever heard or said this? In the realm of human connection, eye contact is often hailed as a cornerstone of intimacy and understanding. However, for those of us living in a neurodiverse relationship, the act of locking gazes isn't always the golden key to connection it's made out to be. For some of us, eye contact can be a challenge, a discomfort, even an impossibility at times. For these people, connection doesn't need eyes to flourish. In fact, it may be easier for them to listen deeply without maintaining eye contact. Yet, for their partners who are not neurodiverse, the absence of eye contact can sometimes feel like a gulf, a silent space where connection is sought but not found. It's a valid feeling, stemming from a world that teaches us to seek the soul in the eyes of another. This dissonance can be painful and can feel like rejection, even when it's anything but. It's crucial, then, to acknowledge this pain, to understand that it comes from a place of deep longing for connection, not from a lack of love or desire to understand. Next Steps: Start Seeing Differently Here are some steps we can take, together, to bridge this gap, to build a world where connection thrives in every look and in every look away: 1. Share Openly. For the neurodiverse partner, explain what eye contact feels like for you, and for the allistic partner, share why it's important to you. This mutual understanding is the foundation of empathy. 2. Find Your Language of Love: Connection wears countless faces. Discover yours. It could be through words of affirmation, shared hobbies, touch, or simply sitting side-by-side in comfortable silence. 3. Celebrate Small Victories: If eye contact is something you both wish to explore, approach it gently, as a journey you're on together. Celebrate the moments, however brief, where comfort is found in a shared glance. But remember, it's not a measure of progress in your relationship. 4. Seek Support, Together: You're not alone on this journey. When you're ready, reach out to one of our neurodiverse couples counselors. As you move forward, hold close the knowledge that connection is not confined to the eyes. It blossoms in the spaces we create for each other, in understanding, acceptance, and the countless ways we choose to say, "I am here with you." Ready to explore this journey further? Click Here To Match With An Expert All the best, Harry Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, PsyD Dr. Motro is a registered Marriage and Family Therapist #53452 and the Founder/Clinical Director of the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center. Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule With Whitney Take an ASD/ADHD Screener Are you curious about whether or not you have autism/ADHD? Want to learn more about yourself and take the first step towards deeper self-understanding? We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and Take An ASD/ADHD Assessment Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

What is AuDHD? You’ve probably heard of autism . You’ve likely heard of ADHD . But what happens when you live with both—at the same time? That’s AuDHD , a combination of Autism and ADHD. It’s more common than most people realize, and it can feel like your brain is constantly flipping between two operating systems—each with its own needs, quirks, and frustrations. ➤ Maybe you love routine… but you can’t stick to one. ➤ Maybe your brain hyper-focuses for hours… but also forgets to eat lunch. ➤ Maybe one day you crave social interaction, and the next, you want to hide from the world. If this sounds familiar, you might be AuDHD—and you’re definitely not alone. Think you might be AuDHD? Let's chat now! How AuDHD Shows Up in Daily Life Living with both ADHD and autism can feel like a push-pull between competing needs. Here are a few ways this might look in real life: You crave structure (autistic trait) but struggle to follow routines (ADHD trait) You hyperfocus on creative ideas but forget deadlines or appointments You want to socialize like an ADHD brain… but the sensory overwhelm of autism kicks in You’re masking constantly—managing both autistic traits and ADHD impulsivity Want someone who actually gets this? Schedule a free consultation with a neurodiverse-affirming therapist. Is AuDHD a real term? AuDHD isn’t an official diagnosis in the DSM—but it’s a real experience for many people. It describes someone who meets criteria for both Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) . Both are neurodevelopmental conditions. Both can affect how you think, socialize, feel emotions, and process the world. And when they overlap, it creates a very specific experience that deserves tailored understanding. ADHD vs Autism: What’s the Difference? While there’s overlap, the core traits of autism and ADHD come from different places: Autism Traits ADHD Traits Difficulty with social communication Difficulty with attention/focus Repetitive behaviors & routines Impulsivity and hyperactivity Deep, specific interests Easily bored, jumps between ideas They can look similar on the outside—but the reason behind the behavior often differs. Examples: Trouble with friendships? ➤ Could be autistic social fatigue or ADHD impulsivity. Struggling to focus? ➤ Could be autistic deep-focus on a special interest or ADHD distractibility. Sensory issues? ➤ Both can have them—but the triggers and intensity vary. Need a clear answer? We offer evaluations that consider both autism and ADHD. How Common Is AuDHD? Research shows that: 30% to 80% of autistic individuals also show signs of ADHD 20% to 50% of those with ADHD may also have autistic traits Scientists believe both may share genetic and neurological roots—affecting brain areas tied to social connection, attention, and emotional regulation. Translation: You're not imagining it. You're not broken. You're wired differently—and that matters. Curious where you fall? Schedule a call with our Care Coordinator. Whole-Person Support for AuDHD Adults and Couples Living and loving with both autism and ADHD isn’t a “flaw” to be corrected—it’s a wiring difference that shapes everything from morning routines to midnight heart-to-hearts. We meet you (and, if you choose, your partner) right there, offering care that’s practical, trauma-informed, and relationship-centered. Important: We don’t believe in "fixing" you to be neurotypical. Therapy should help you function in the world—without losing who you are. ➤ Healing Old Hurts Many AuDHD adults carry scars from being misunderstood or pressured to “act normal.” We use gentle, body-based and talk-therapy methods to calm the nervous system, release stuck memories, and rebuild self-worth—without asking you to change who you are. ➤ Strengthening Your Connection AuDHD dynamics spark both creativity and friction. We guide couples to: read each other’s signals (hyper-focus vs. distraction, sensory highs & lows) blend comfort needs with closeness turn misfires into teamwork create rituals that protect connection—even on chaotic days Partners can also work one-on-one to polish their side of the dance. ➤ Social Skills Support Thriving at Work and Home Missed emails, forgotten laundry, buzzing ideas that never land—sound familiar? We blend practical planning, workplace advocacy, and gentle accountability so your brilliance shines without nonstop masking. ➤ Social Skills Support New Tools That Stick From emotion-regulation drills to values-based goal setting and mindful-movement breaks, we customize skills practice to fit your wiring—no alphabet-soup jargon required. ➤ Medication (When Appropriate) When focus boosters or calming supports might help, we team up with your prescriber to fine-tune a plan that respects your goals and your neurology. Note: We don’t prescribe, but we can coordinate with your provider. Looking for a treatment plan that actually fits? Let’s build it together. You Might Be AuDHD If… ( A mini self-checklist ) ➤ You love structure, but forget what day it is ➤ You hyper-fixate and procrastinate—sometimes at the same time ➤ You bounce between social butterfly and hermit mode ➤ You’ve spent years masking—and you're exhausted ➤ You’ve been told you're “too much” and also “not enough” Check off a few? That’s reason enough to reach out. Let’s talk. You Deserve to Be Understood If you’ve been misdiagnosed, misunderstood, or told to “just try harder,” you’re not alone. Living with AuDHD can feel overwhelming—but it’s also an opportunity to understand yourself in a deeper, more compassionate way. Get matched with a therapist who gets AuDHD. Start with a screener → Share Your Info → Free consult → Personalized support You’re not too much. You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re just wired differently—and you deserve care that honors that. Ready to Get Started? Click Here! Meet with our Client Care Coordinator Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel