ADHD and sex can be a wild combination. At its best, it’s electric—intimate, intense, full of energy.At its worst? Scattered, impulsive, confusing. Many ADHDers feel deeply present one moment—then drift off mid-connection. They want to be great lovers and attentive partners… But distraction, urgency, or miscommunication keeps getting in the way. It’s not about caring less. It’s about how your brain works. That’s why we created the ADHD Sexual Intimacy Measure (ADHD-SIM‑24) . This self-assessment helps you decode how your brain's wiring impacts your sex life—especially when it comes to focus, impulse, and connection. You’ll rate your level of agreement with statements like: “I can pause and check in with my partner even when I'm excited.” “My mind often drifts to unrelated thoughts when I'm intimate.” “I find it difficult to wait when I want sexual contact." The ADHD-SIM-24 only takes about 5–7 minutes. And instead of a vague “you’re doing fine” or “you need help,” it gives you real insights. You’ll get five scores: One total score that reflects your overall intimacy profile Four targeted subscales showing your patterns in: Attention & Presence Impulse Control & Risk Boundaries & Consent Relationship Communication & Satisfaction These subscales are the real magic—they help you pinpoint where things feel smooth and where they get sticky. Maybe your focus is strong, but boundaries get fuzzy.Maybe you’re great at communicating—but struggle to pause before acting. This gives you the map. 👉 Take the ADHD-SIM-24 If you’d like to process your results with someone who gets both ADHD and intimacy challenges, our neuro-informed specialists are here. No shame. Just support. With care, Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center P.S. If you’re in a relationship where one partner is autistic and the other has ADHD, it’s not just a double dose—it’s a double puzzle. We'd love to help you with that too. Get Matched with a Therapist 🔦 Spotlight on Liz McClanahan Specialties Neurodiverse Couples Therapy Autism & ADHD Parenting Autistic Children Intimacy, Sex, Affair Recovery Anger Management Life Transitions Personal Experience My husband is on the Autism Spectrum and received his diagnosis later in life. I am so proud of my 26-year marriage and the fact that we were able to reconcile after a divorce and remarry. My two children are also on the Spectrum. They have taught me how differences can be intensely beautiful and frustrating at the same time. Learn more about Liz! © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these questionnaires may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

< Back Kimberly Hawks Neurodiverse Couples Specialist | Associate Marriage and Family Therapist My Approach to Therapy Welcome! I believe neurodiverse couples deserve understanding, practical tools, and compassionate support to navigate differences, repair ruptures, and strengthen their bond. Therapy with me centers on how you relate to yourself and how you connect with your partner, so we can co-create healthier patterns that respect your individual needs and the realities of your neurodiverse relationship. Together, we will design a clear roadmap with actionable steps for communication, shared growth, healing, and resilience —helping you navigate conflict, feel heard, cultivate compassion, and deepen your connection. M y Journey: Neurodiversity in Parenting, Partnership, and Life I’m a wife and mom in a neurodiverse family. Our three kids each have different neurotypes, my husband has ADHD, and I’m a highly sensitive person (HSP). As a couple, our different wiring impacts our parenting approaches, emotional needs, communication styles, and ways of showing and feeling love. Over the years, we’ve navigated the ups and downs of raising children, managing serious medical challenges for one of our children while keeping life “normal” for our other two, and juggling work and travel. In times of crisis and busy-ness, it’s easy to slip into survival mode and stop connecting—we’ve learned that relationships, especially between partners with different neurotypes, take intentional daily practice . Small, consistent efforts to stay attuned, adapt, and repair have strengthened our bond and our family rhythm. Children thrive when their parents are connected and in love. This experience informs how I support couples: empathy, practical strategies, curiosity, and consistent practice can make real, lasting change in relationships. Parenting Through Neurodiversity and Serious Medical Issues I’ve done the hospital all-nighters, medication schedules, insurance calls, and constant “Plan B.” I’ve navigated children with different needs, and when HSP and ADHD come into conflict at the least opportune times—and learned that clear communication and small repeatable routines steady a household better than one-off heroics. Families don’t need perfection; they need nervous-system regulation, aligned expectations, clear boundaries, and repair that actually sticks . Adoption, Attachment, and Complex Family Systems I was adopted as an infant and raised with split custody after my adoptive parents divorced. My mom came out as a lesbian when I was in first grade and built a large, loving blended family with her partner (now wife of 20+ years), her children, and my step-sister from a prior relationship. My dad remarried, and in that home I was an only child. As an adult, I reunited with my birth mother. Living between different households—and then doing the attachment work of reunification—taught me that belonging is built through safety, consistency, and trust , not titles. I bring those attachment lessons into therapy: predictable care, listening, straight talk, and small promises kept. Married 25 Years- Staying Connected My husband and I met in college on the East Coast, and in 2025 we celebrated 25 years of marriage. He was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult–learning about his neurotype, and understanding more about my sensitivity, enabled us to break old cycles of recurrent arguments, missed cues, and shutdown/flare patterns. Couples counseling has been key to our growth and staying connected , especially during medical crises and times of stress—prioritizing repair over being “right,” using clear scripts on hard days, and protecting time for intimacy and connection when everything else feels unstable. This experience informs my work as a couples therapist, helping partners navigate differences, improve communication, and strengthen their connection. Parent Coaching and School Support Before becoming a therapist, I helped to launch two schools –a preschool and a K-8 school, where I was deeply involved in school administration and admissions. That experience matters. I understand how administrators make decisions, how to make sure a school is a good fit for a child, and how to advocate for the support that each child needs and deserves through collaboration and IEP/504 processes. As a therapist, I bring experience working in elementary school settings and was honored with a California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) award in 2025 for my collaborative approach to working with neurodiverse children, their families, schools, and other specialists. Mind–Body Wellness Trail running with friends keeps me balanced—it’s nervous-system regulation in motion. Cooking with my family, whether we’re making homemade pasta or tackling creative kitchen challenges, brings joy and connection. Time with friends and family restores perspective, and reading keeps me curious. Playing with our golden retriever, going on dates with my husband, jumping on the trampoline with my son, and hanging out with my teen daughters make life deeply meaningful. These moments remind me that nurturing our closest relationships matters most, especially when life feels full and demanding. Neurodiverse Couples: Repair That Works Under Real-Life Stress Neurodiverse couples often love each other deeply but trip the same wires: intent vs. impact mismatches, processing-speed differences, sensory overload, executive-function gaps, and uneven social needs. When you add a child’s medical needs or school crisis, the bond can slide into logistics-only mode and resentment. What we build together: Shared language for neurotype differences. Clear, non-pathologizing terms that reduce blame and make needs discussable. Repair first, then reasons. Ownership before context; repair scripts that fit your brains and your stress window. Executive-function scaffolds for the relationship. Time anchors, transition plans, decision trees, and externalized reminders so love isn’t held hostage by working memory. Sensory-aware intimacy. Pressure-free closeness, pacing, and predictable rituals that make connection safe again. Conflict that ends. Shorter fights, calmer recoveries, and agreements you can actually keep during busy weeks or medical flares. Bottom line: we design routines and communication playbooks that hold under pressure—because that’s when you need them. Parenting Neurodiverse Children (Including Chronic Illness and 2e) Parenting neurodiverse kids is both beautiful and challenging. You’re balancing strengths with support needs, independence with safety, and your own burnout due to high demands. I help you: Stabilize the nervous system at home (yours and your child’s) before layering new skills. Build routines that survive chaos, using smallest viable steps and visual anchors. Translate assessments into accommodations schools will actually implement. Support 2e learners so giftedness doesn’t mask disability—or vice versa. Cope with chronic illness : pacing, grief, medical advocacy, and sibling care that doesn’t disappear. Manage dynamics between siblings of different neurotypes, fostering understanding, fairness, and connection. Align as parents to reduce conflict and create consistency, helping children feel safe and supported. Keep the couple strong so the family system can thrive. Blended Families (Informed by My Own Upbringing) Growing up across two homes—with different rules, values, and cultures—taught me how identity and belonging form in motion. In session, we clarify roles, set respectful boundaries, and create rituals that include everyone without erasing anyone. Small, predictable gestures build trust faster than good intentions. Working With Adult Adoptees Adults who were adopted in infancy or childhood often experience unique challenges around attachment, identity, and belonging. In my work with adult adoptees, I help clients understand how early adoption experiences can shape patterns of closeness and trust with partners and children, as well as how these dynamics may influence parenting. Together, we explore the impact of trauma, loss, and questions of identity while building tools for authentic connection and open conversations about adoption within relationships and families. Treatment Modalities- An Integrative Approach There’s no single approach that works for everyone. I take time to get to know you—both as individuals and as a couple—and tailor my work to meet your unique needs and goals. I draw from a range of therapeutic modalities and the latest evidence-based research to best support your growth and connection: Foundational Approaches: CBT, ACT, Humanistic/Person-Centered, Solution-Focused/Brief, Psychodynamic, Behavioral and Social Thinking interventions. Mind–Body & Experiential: Mindfulness, somatic-informed work, expressive arts to help clients connect with and regulate their internal experiences. Relationship & Systems: Family Systems Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Relational Life Therapy (RLT) to support connection and relational growth. Trauma-Informed: I use a trauma-informed lens in all of my work, creating a safe, attuned, and empowering environment to help clients process experiences and build resilience. Collaboration: I coordinate with medical teams, schools, specialists, and educational consultants when it supports the work and the client’s goals. Education Bachelor of Arts , Psychology — Boston College Master of Science , Counseling Psychology — Dominican University of California License & Employment Information Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #156426 Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers Specialty Areas: Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients, Neurodiverse Couples, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), CBT, Attachment, ACT, Blended Families, Communication, Emotional Intimacy, ADHD, Discernment, Emotion Focused Therapy, Family Conflict, General Couples Coaching, Highly Sensitive People (HSP), ND at Work, Teens, Trauma Kimberly Hawks Take an Autism Test

By Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center c It often starts with a child. A school raises concerns. A clinician names what’s been going on. And suddenly the family has a word for something they’ve been wrestling with for years: autism, ADHD, or both. Then something else happens—quietly, but powerfully. A parent starts recognizing themselves in the description. Not in a dramatic way. In a “this explains my whole life” way. And then the family zooms out. A sibling who has always been intense and rigid about routines. A grandparent who melts down when plans change, but calls it “just being practical.” An uncle who disappears for months, then reappears like nothing happened. A family culture that labels differences as laziness, selfishness, attitude, disrespect, or “you’re too sensitive.” This is one reason neurodiverse families feel so exhausted. They’re not only managing nervous systems. They’re managing interpretations. And those interpretations become the story everyone lives inside. If you want the science behind why this pattern shows up across generations —heritability, sibling recurrence, AuDHD overlap—read our deeper dive: The Genetic Ripple Effect The blunt truth Sometimes individual therapy helps a person feel steadier, but the home stays chaotic. Sometimes, couples therapy helps two people communicate better, but the family system keeps re-triggering the same fights. That’s not failure. That’s a mismatch in what’s being treated. If the pain lives in the family system, you have to work with the family. The science behind “it’s all over the family” Here’s what many families don’t hear clearly enough: neurodiversity often clusters in families. In a large prospective, international “younger sibling” research network, about 1 in 5 younger siblings of an autistic child developed autism as well. (PMC) And when there’s more than one older autistic sibling, the recurrence rate is higher—around 37% in those multiplex families. (PMC) Population-based research also shows autism risk is substantially higher in siblings, and still elevated in cousins, reflecting real genetic and family-system clustering. (PMC) ADHD shows a similar “runs in the family” pattern. Twin research consistently estimates ADHD is highly heritable (often around the mid-70% range). (Nature) And large registry studies show strong familial aggregation in siblings. (PubMed) So when families say, “Once we saw it in our kid, we started seeing it everywhere,” they’re not being dramatic. They’re noticing something real. (If you want a clearer explanation of what those numbers actually mean—and what they do not mean—read The Genetic Ripple Effect here: https://www.neurodiversecouplescounseling.com/post/genetic-ripple-effect-neurodiversity Why this matters clinically If neurodiversity is woven through the family tree, then the family’s habits, roles, and “default interpretations” get shaped around it. Here’s what that looks like in real life: One person functions by deep focus and routine, and gets labeled controlling. Another person functions by urgency and stimulation, and gets labeled irresponsible. A child melts down from sensory overload, and gets punished for “attitude.” A parent is chronically maxed out, and everyone assumes they’re angry or cold. Grandparents mean well, but invalidate neurodiversity and unintentionally intensify shame. The family isn’t lacking love. They’re lacking a shared map. Our model at Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center We use what we call an orchestrated family approach. Not “everyone in therapy forever.” Not “let’s drag the whole family into a room and hope for insight.” And definitely not “let’s blame the identified patient.” Instead, we work like this: Step 1: Start with the couple (the anchor) We typically begin with the couple because the couple is the hub. If the hub is dysregulated, everything spins off. In this phase we: Build a shared language for what’s happening in the home. Identify the repeating loops (the fight beneath the fight). Clarify differences in nervous system needs, pacing, and communication. Create a realistic home plan for transitions, conflict, and repair. This is where many families finally stop asking, “Who’s the problem?” And start asking, “What’s the pattern?” Step 2: Expand outward (the right people, at the right time) Then we add people when it’s clinically useful. That can include: Kids (young kids, teens, adult kids) Parents and step-parents Siblings Co-parents in blended situations Sometimes extended family (aunt/uncle/grandparent), when they’re a major driver of stress or misunderstanding This isn’t about attendance Step 3: Invitation-only, with a private on-ramp Let’s say this plainly: bringing a family member into therapy can feel intimidating. People worry: “They’ll judge me.” “They’ll gang up on me.” “I’ll get blamed.” “I’ll get exposed.” “I don’t even know what to say.” So we do it differently. Any new family member is invitation-only. And they meet with the therapist individually first. That first meeting is about safety, context, and voice. It’s where they get to say what they’ve been holding back—without being interrupted, corrected, or pathologized. Only after that do we consider joint sessions, and only if it actually serves the goals. Step 4: One lead clinician orchestrates the plan Many families already have support in place. A child has their own therapist. A parent has a coach. A teen has a skills group. Great. But without coordination, families can end up with: Mixed messages Competing strategies Different “truths” in different rooms Accidental undermining of progress at home. So we provide one primary clinician who holds the big picture. That clinician helps the family align the work so the home environment becomes coherent instead of chaotic. What changes when the system is treated When family therapy is done well in neurodiverse families, you start seeing shifts like: Less blame and more accuracy Fewer explosions because triggers are anticipated earlier Better transitions because the family plans for nervous systems, not just schedules Fewer “character verdicts” (“lazy,” “dramatic,” “cold,” “controlling”) More repair after conflict, not just avoidance or escalation Kids feeling less like the family problem and more like part of the family solution And over time, the biggest win is this: The family becomes safer for everyone’s brain. Ready to explore this? If you’re realizing “this isn’t just one person,” you’re probably right. Schedule a consultation here! Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Resources & Further Reading Bazelmans, T., Charman, T., Bedford, R., et al. (2024). Mid-childhood autism sibling recurrence: A single-site longitudinal follow-up study. Autism Research. Chen, Q., Brikell, I., Lichtenstein, P., Serlachius, E., Kuja-Halkola, R., Sandin, S., Larsson, H., & D’Onofrio, B. M. (2017). Familial aggregation of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry. Faraone, S. V., & Larsson, H. (2019). Genetics of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Molecular Psychiatry. Ozonoff, S., Young, G. S., Bradshaw, J., et al. (2024). Familial recurrence of autism: Updates from the Baby Siblings Research Consortium. Pediatrics, 154(2), e2023065297. Sandin, S., Lichtenstein, P., Kuja-Halkola, R., Larsson, H., Hultman, C. M., & Reichenberg, A. (2014). The familial risk of autism. JAMA, 311(17), 1770–1777. Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center. (2026). Integrated neurodiverse family therapy Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center. (2026). When neurodiversity runs in the family: Why family therapy can do what couples therapy can’t [Blog post]. Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Robin is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has graduated with a Master's in Clinical Psychology from Notre Dame de Namur University in Belmont, CA. She has a background in behavioral health, education, transitional youth, addiction and recovery services, and suicide prevention. She has worked with couples who have adult children struggling with ASD, ADHD, addiction, depression, and anxiety . She has experience working in diverse cultures and backgrounds in outpatient clinics, large healthcare systems, and private practices. She believes everyone has a voice and deserves to feel safe, respected, and heard. Robin encourages her clients to connect by offering a safe, nurturing environment, enabling clients to feel supported and valued. Life experience With 30 years of marriage and parenting four children. Robin's personal experience has given her a unique perspective to help her clients explore, reconnect, and rediscover their "sparkle." She understands the challenges of working, parenting, and finding time for self-care while strengthening personal and professional relationships. Working with couples She works with couples, individuals, and family systems to develop improved communication, respect, and love. She helps couples and individuals through life transitions such as a new home, first child, loss of career, or loss of a loved one by exploring coping skills to reduce stressors and move towards healing. In addition, Robin works with couples to become more self-aware of their behavior and how it affects their loved ones. Robin's approach to therapy Robin's approach is humanistic and creates a safe and non-judgmental environment for her clients to communicate openly. She has worked with families and children by guiding her clients towards rewarding and harmonious connections. She specializes in working with couples and individuals who want to improve their relationships, reduce stress, and make realistic goals with solution-focused therapy, positive communication, self-awareness, and self-care. Robin uses evidence-based therapeutic approaches by helping her clients to focus on building solutions by providing emotional and psychological safety to foster positive motivation and change. NEURODIVERSE RELATIONSHIPS The Basics: Neurodiverse couples have one partner that is neurotypical and one partner who has a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and/or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Neurodiverse couples can have different communication styles and perspectives, making intimate and loving relationships a challenge. However, neurodiverse couples can grow together by finding meaningful connections, focusing on their preferences, and learning to understand each other better. Based on the goals of the Neurodiverse couple, Robin will help support stronger relationships and work on problem-solving skills. Couples will learn to focus on new ways to celebrate each other, reconnect, and interpret intention successfully. Through acceptance, education, and self-awareness, couples will practice relating to each other to create a more harmonious relationship. Common Symptoms: In adults, some common symptoms of ASD might look like: having difficulties interpreting facial expressions, interpreting body language, or understanding the social cues of others. Regulating emotions during conversations, reflecting emotions through vocal inflection, and engaging in repetitive behaviors might be challenging for someone with ASD. In addition, individuals with ASD may have specific and/or extreme interests and routines. The interests of individuals on the spectrum may seem obsessive, such as spending large amounts of time engaging in only certain activities under certain circumstances. Difference Turned into Strength: With these challenges, how can neurodiverse couples expand and enhance their relationship? Neurodiverse couples can use their different perspectives as strengths to shift away from conflict and understand each other’s thoughts and perspectives. Because everyone sees the world differently, a neurodiverse couple has a unique perspective. Each partner has a different way of thinking, different brain wiring, and experiences. While the neurodiverse couple may face challenges, having different ways of viewing situations and experiences can bring new and comprehensive perspectives. Neurodiverse couples can develop an awareness of their unique perspectives and accept their differences as a value rather than an annoyance . For example, each partner can see different ways of interacting or completing tasks. Working out tasks together can be an opportunity rather than a challenge for the neurodiverse couple to work together to become more tolerant of each other’s way of thinking. Having both shared and individual interests can encourage the neurodiverse couple’s autonomy and enhance the quality of life. Through acceptance and commitment, the neurodiverse couple can see each other through a new lens. Trust and Emotional Safety: Couples therapy can help the neurodiverse couple by finding how to deepen trust and understand how each partner views their experiences. By creating emotional safety and acceptance, couples therapy can help the neurodiverse couple to develop goals. Bringing importance to each partner and their intentions allows the neurodiverse couple to focus on their differences as a strength. Acceptance and commitment can help to increase feelings of compassion, connection, love, and happiness. Specialties Neurodiverse Counseling (ASD and ADHD) Couples and individual life transitions Discernment Counseling Pre-marital Counseling Depression and Anxiety Grief, loss, and shame Self-forgiveness Clients Couples, Elder Couples, Individuals Modalities Solution Focused Therapy (SFBT), Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Family System Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy, Humanistic Approach License Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT #149872 Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc. Specialty Areas: Assessment, ADHD, Discernment, Neurodiverse Couples, Autism, Addiction, Cassandra Syndrome, DBT, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Accepting New Couples & Indiv. Clients Robin Greenblat Take an Autism Test

Want to test your communication skills? Look at the questions below and ask: "Do I say more of the ❌'s or ✅'s?" There’s no shame either way—just insight. Allistic to Autistic ❌ "Why aren't you listening to me?" ✅ "Did I catch you at a bad time to talk, or is something making this hard to take in?" ❌ "Can't you just be more flexible?" ✅ "What parts of our routine help you feel steady, and where could we build in some wiggle room together?" ❌ "Why don’t you care how I feel?" ✅ "I know you care in your own way—can you help me see how you usually show it?" Autistic to Allistic ❌ "Why are you always so emotional?" ✅ "Your feelings matter to me, even if I don’t always get it—can you walk me through what’s going on for you?" ❌ "Do we have to talk about this AGAIN?" ✅ "I know this is important to you. Can we find a rhythm for these talks that works better for both of us?" ❌ "Why can't you just say exactly what you mean?" ✅ "Sometimes I need things to be really direct. Can we figure out a way to meet in the middle?" So, how’d that quiz go? If you ended up with more ❌s than ✅s, don’t stress. You’re in good company—most couples do! These habits are super common and totally normal. The good news? They’re also things you can work on. Just noticing them is already a big step in the right direction. 🌟 Try This Week: Pick just one ✅ or "better way" question and ask your partner this weekend. Watch how even a small shift makes things better! And, yes, I know this might feel impossibly hard. That’s exactly why neurodiverse couples therapy exists. One of our neuro-informed therapists can help you both learn how to ask questions and connect in new ways that can transform your relationship. You've got this, Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Take the First Step 🔦 Spotlight on Liz McClanahan Specialties · Neurodiverse Couples Therapy · Autism & ADHD · Parenting Autistic Children · Intimacy, Sex, Affair Recovery · Anger Management · Life Transitions Professional Qualifications · Neurodiverse Couples Specialist · Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology from Azusa Pacific University (APU) · Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist Personal Experience · My husband is on the Autism Spectrum and received his diagnosis later in life. I am so proud of my 26-year marriage and the fact that we were able to reconcile after a divorce and remarry. · My two children are also on the Spectrum. They have taught me how differences can be intensely beautiful and frustrating at the same time. Learn more about Liz! Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Support and education for those with both ASD and ADHD AuDHD SUPPORT < Back AUTISM & ADHD OVERLAP WHAT IS AuDHD? AuDHD is a relatively new unofficial term that describes a person who has both autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Thus, it is a merging of the terms Autism and ADHD into AuDHD. Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) are both neurodevelopmental disorders that can affect a person's behavior, social interaction, and communication. It is essential to remember that treatment for AuDHD should be individualized to meet the specific needs of each person. We would love to provide a comprehensive evaluation and develop a treatment plan that fits you. STATISTICAL OVERLAP There is a significant overlap in symptoms between the… Show More

Therapy for Parents of Neurodiverse children. Helping exceptional parents with exceptional kids! NEURODIVERSE PARENTING < Back HELPING YOUR CHILD THRIVE Most parents are willing to sacrifice almost anything to see your child happy, independent, and productive. We see parents bend over backwards to support their children. If you are using the wrong approach for them or if mom and dad are not on the same page, everyone in the family can quickly become exhausted and discouraged. You may even start to wonder if you are doing something wrong and making things more difficult. No matter how much you are putting into advocating for and supporting your child, it rarely feels like it is enough. Difficult social situations for your child break your heart. The frustrations spread… Show More

At first glance, it sounds alarming. A 450% increase in autism diagnoses among adults aged 26 to 34. Back in 2011, only about 91,000 adults in that age group had received a diagnosis. * In 2022, that number was more than 500,000 . Really!? Are autistic people multiplying like rabbits? Or is there something in the environment that is causing autism? Or are more people finally being seen? Here’s the truth: This isn’t an epidemic. The growth is a result of long-overdue recognition. For decades, autistic adults—especially women, BIPOC individuals, and those with “internalized” traits—were misdiagnosed or missed entirely. They spent years masking, struggling, over-explaining, and burning out—without a name for what they were carrying. If you're curious, our autism screeners are a good place to start. And for couples, that recognition can change everything. Because when one partner is neurodivergent—and neither of you knows it—misunderstandings multiply. 💔 One partner feels disconnected. 💔 The other feels constantly criticized. 💔 Small moments turn into spirals. 💔 Both partners become the worst versions of themselves! But once the true dynamic is named, the blame and shame slowly melt away. What felt like emotional distance starts to look like sensory overload. What looked like shutdown starts to make sense as a nervous system needing recovery. What felt like rejection gets reframed as a missed signal—not a lack of love. Finally healing is possible. It’s not about fixing each other. It’s about finally understanding each other. And that’s the power of recognition. If you're wondering whether neurodivergence might be part of your story—yours or your partner’s—we’re here. We offer free autism screeners , in-depth autism assessments , individual support , and neuro-informed couples therapy . You’re not broken. You’re not alone. We can't wait to hear from you ! With clarity and care, Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center an d Adult Autism Assessment Center Take the First Step to Self-Discovery 🔦 Spotlight on Dre Meller Specialties AuDHD, Autism, ADHD Sex/Physical Intimacy Emotional Regulation Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse) Blended Families, Brainspotting Emotionally Focused Therapy LGBTQIA+ Communication Emotional Intimacy Trauma-Informed Personal Experience AuDHD (Autistic + ADHD) therapist with firsthand experience navigating neurodivergence In a 21-year relationship with autistic partner; raising four neurodivergent children (ages 6–30) Provides a safe, non-masking space where clients can explore relationships, identity, and life on their terms Learn more about Dre! * Note : Autism diagnosis figures are based on a reported 450% increase among U.S. adults aged 26–34 between 2011 and 2022, as documented in the study “ Autism Diagnosis Among US Children and Adults, 2011–2022 ” published in JAMA Network Open (2024). Population estimates used to calculate absolute numbers are based on U.S. Census Bureau data from 2022, which places the U.S. population at approximately 332 million, with 13.7% (about 45.5 million people) aged 26–34. Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

For Couples: Understanding the Highly Sensitive Person Do you often feel overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, or strong smells? Maybe you’ve been told you’re "too sensitive" or that you need to toughen up. If this sounds familiar, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). This trait, found in 15-20% of the population, describes individuals whose nervous systems are wired to process sensory input more deeply. Being an HSP is not a disorder —you won’t find it in the DSM. However, it plays a significant role in how people experience the world. Understanding this trait can transform relationships, helping couples and individuals navigate its challenges and embrace its unique strengths. 🔍 What is HSP? Highly Sensitive People possess a blend of qualities that make their experiences in the world different, including: Depth of Processing HSPs process all types of information more deeply than others. They are more reflective, often taking longer to make decisions because of their detailed thought process. This depth of processing includes both conscious analysis of conversations and unconscious gut feelings. Overarousability HSPs notice more than others in any given situation—be it emotions, noise levels, or even subtle smells. This hyper-awareness is advantageous but can also lead to overarousal and stress, especially in overwhelming environments. Emotional Intensity HSPs feel emotions intensely, both positive and negative. This heightened emotional responsiveness makes them empathetic, as they are more attuned to others' feelings. Sensory Sensitivity HSPs are highly sensitive to subtle environmental stimuli, which can help them notice potential dangers but also makes them more vulnerable to discomfort from loud noises, bright lights, or even certain foods. Risk Evaluation HSPs are excellent strategists and tend to plan ahead, carefully evaluating risks before acting. Their sensitivity tempers impulsive behavior, making them cautious adventurers 💑 Helping Couples Understand HSP For neurodiverse couples, where one partner may be autistic or have ADHD, integrating an HSP trait into the relationship adds complexity but also depth. Here’s how this dynamic can show up: Sensory Overload : HSPs can find environments or experiences that seem neutral to their partner overwhelming. Whether it’s a noisy event or an emotionally charged conversation, the HSP partner may need more downtime or a change in surroundings to cope with the overload. Their non-HSP partner, however, may not experience the same level of intensity and can feel frustrated or confused by the HSP’s reactions. Counseling can help each partner understand and respect the other’s sensory needs, finding a balance between stimulation and calm. Emotional Processing : HSPs are deeply sensitive to emotional shifts in a relationship. A tone of voice, a word choice, or even an expression can trigger strong emotions. In neurodiverse couples, this sensitivity can clash with a more direct or less emotionally expressive partner, like someone on the autism spectrum, who may be less attuned to these subtle cues. This can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Therapy can help bridge this gap, fostering communication that supports both the HSP’s need for emotional nuance and the non-HSP partner’s need for straightforward conversation. Conflict Resolution : Because HSPs feel emotions so deeply, conflict in the relationship can feel especially overwhelming. They may take longer to recover after arguments, need more reassurance, or even avoid conflict altogether to prevent emotional overload. This avoidance, however, can lead to unresolved issues. Neurodiverse couples therapy can provide tools for managing conflict in a way that doesn’t overwhelm the HSP, while also giving the non-HSP partner the space they need to express their thoughts more clearly. Building Empathy : On the flip side, the depth of feeling that HSPs bring to a relationship can foster a strong sense of empathy and emotional connection. Their sensitivity allows them to pick up on their partner’s needs, even if unspoken, which can create a more supportive and nurturing bond. Couples therapy can help partners use these strengths to their advantage, deepening their connection while also addressing the challenges that come with HSP traits. By creating a space where both partners’ needs are understood and respected, counseling can help neurodiverse couples find a new balance in their relationship. 🧠 HSP Overlaps with Other Neurodiversities HSP traits can overlap with aspects of other neurodiverse conditions such as autism or ADHD. For example: Autism : Both HSPs and autistic individuals can experience sensory sensitivities, though for different reasons. Autistic individuals may struggle with processing sensory stimuli, while HSPs tend to process stimuli more deeply on an emotional level. ADHD : HSPs may experience a similar sense of overwhelm in busy environments as someone with ADHD, but where ADHD might be characterized by difficulty focusing, HSPs are often over-focused on emotional and sensory details. Exploring these overlaps in therapy can help neurodiverse individuals and couples find ways to better understand each other and work together. ❓ Is Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) a Disorder? Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), the trait underlying HSP, is not a disorder but rather a natural variation in how the nervous system processes sensory information. While it can coexist with conditions like autism or ADHD, it is distinct in important ways: Empathy and Social Sensitivity : SPS involves high levels of empathy and responsiveness to social stimuli, traits that are often absent in conditions like high-functioning autism. This makes SPS more about deep social and emotional engagement rather than social difficulty. Attention Span : Although HSPs may be misdiagnosed with ADHD, they tend to have good concentration in quiet, calm environments. ADHD typically presents with a more consistent challenge in maintaining attention, regardless of the setting. Despite the challenges of overstimulation and emotional intensity, SPS offers a range of advantages, including heightened intuition, creativity, and empathy. For some, however, the trait can lead to vulnerabilities, such as anxiety or depression, particularly if they feel misunderstood or isolated. Therapy can provide valuable psychoeducational support, helping HSPs navigate these challenges while embracing their sensitivity as a strength. 🧑⚕️ Meet Nancy Rushing: Our HSP Specialist Nancy Rushing, one of our compassionate therapists, is a Highly Sensitive Person herself. She brings a deep understanding and unique insights into working with HSP clients. Her empathy and personal experience with this trait allow her to guide both individuals and couples toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships. 👉 Learn more about Nancy here 🧠 Understand Your Sensory Sensitivity: Get Expert Guidance with Our Sensory Assessment If you’re wondering whether your sensitivity might be part of a broader sensory processing pattern, you may benefit from taking the Sensory Processing Measure, Second Edition (SPM-2) . The SPM-2 is a widely recognized tool used to assess how individuals process sensory information in various environments, such as at home, work, or in social situations. What is the SPM-2? The SPM-2 measures different aspects of sensory processing, including how people respond to visual, auditory, tactile, and other sensory stimuli. It can help identify specific areas where a person may struggle with sensory integration, such as difficulty filtering out background noise or heightened sensitivity to touch. How Does It Relate to HSP? While the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) trait is not the same as sensory processing disorder (SPD) or other sensory challenges, there are overlapping characteristics. Both HSPs and individuals with sensory processing challenges may: Experience overstimulation in busy or noisy environments Feel overwhelmed by certain textures, sounds, or bright lights Require more downtime or space after social interactions However, HSP focuses more on emotional and social sensitivity , along with a deeper level of processing information, whereas sensory processing disorders tend to be more about how the brain interprets sensory input from the environment. How Can the SPM-2 Help? For individuals who are uncertain if their experiences stem from sensory processing difficulties or their HSP trait , the SPM-2 provides valuable insight. Under the guidance of our trained clinicians, this assessment can: Clarify if sensory sensitivities are part of a more significant sensory processing challenge Identify areas where targeted support might reduce overstimulation and stress Guide therapy to address both the emotional and sensory aspects of sensitivity, creating a more holistic treatment approach Book A Session 📝 Schedule Your SPM-2 Assessment Today At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, our clinicians are experienced in using the SPM-2 to help individuals understand their sensory profiles. If you’re interested in exploring how sensory processing might be influencing your experience, we invite you to take this assessment as part of your therapeutic journey. Contact us to schedule an SPM-2 assessment with one of our expert clinicians and start gaining deeper insight into your sensory and emotional world. 📚 5 Great Books on HSP The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron - The essential guide to understanding HSP traits and learning how to embrace them. Learn more The Highly Sensitive Person in Love by Elaine Aron - A must-read for HSPs navigating love and relationships. Learn more The Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff - Practical strategies for managing emotions and boundaries as an HSP or empath. Learn more Quiet by Susan Cain - An exploration of introverts, many of whom share HSP traits, and how to thrive in a noisy world. Learn more The Highly Sensitive Parent by Elaine Aron - For HSPs who are navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood. Learn more Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Start Your HSP Healing Journey with Nancy! As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) myself, I understand the challenges this trait can cause and would love to support you on your healing journey! More About Nancy Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Our therapists understand the unique struggles faced by those navigating cancer and neurodiversity. We are here to help you thrive and find happiness in your daily life. AUTISM & CANCER < Back AUTISM & CANCER SUPPORTING THOSE WITH AUTISM & CANCER Cancer can be a tremendous challenge for anyone. Yet, if you are autistic, you may face unique difficulties in dealing with the physical and emotional aspects of cancer. And, thus you deserve specialized support.

ADHD in relationships Why do couples impacted by ADHD fight so often? Because missed responsibilities, forgotten promises, and poor follow-through wear both partners down. One feels unsupported. The other feels constantly criticized.Resentment builds. So why does the non-ADHD partner feel so overburdened? They often pick up the slack. They become the “responsible one.” They carry the weight of bills, chores, schedules. When they ask for help, they may be met with defensiveness or inaction. Over time, exhaustion turns into loneliness. And what about the ADHD partner? They live with shame, overwhelm, and feelings of inadequacy. When failure feels inevitable, withdrawal seems safer than trying again. That avoidance damages intimacy. Not because they don’t care—but because their brain is wired differently. What patterns show up most often? The parent/child imbalance. The “always in trouble” dynamic. The cycle where one enforces and the other resists. Research shows these roles cause frustration, burnout, and disconnection. So what is a boundary or strategy that actually works? It’s not nagging harder.It ’s not “trying harder.”It’s ADHD-sensitive tools.Like the visitor-based method . How the visitor-based method works This technique is based on a simple principle: "Just show up first, then decide". Decide on a task. Select a single item to focus on, such as a work assignment, a chore, or a personal project. Make a "visit." Approach the task and commit to working on it for a short, non-intimidating period of time. This can be as brief as a single deep breath or a few seconds. Decide what's next. After this short period, you have the agency to decide whether to continue working on the task or to walk away. Repeat as needed. If you decide to walk away, plan another "visit" for the next day. Preferably one that is at least slightly longer than the last. Knowing you have the ability to abandon the task at any time decreases the pressure, and each interaction with the task, no matter how small, is considered a success. ] Not sure if it’s ADHD? Our quick guide makes it easy to explore. Worried they’ll “visit” and not follow through? Use guardrails so both partners feel safe. Track visits in a shared place that’s visible. Agree on a same-time daily check-in that is factual, not critical. Define a fallback if three tasks are missed (for example, swap tasks, co-work for 10 minutes, or pick a smaller version). Celebrate progress; escalate only if the agreed guardrails are repeatedly skipped. Why does therapy help? Because ADHD is a brain difference, not a moral failing. Couples need new rules of engagement—shared responsibility, kindness, and tailored strategies. Therapy interrupts destructive cycles. It restores partnership. And it replaces blame with teamwork. So here’s the bottom line. ADHD doesn’t have to mean endless conflict. But you can’t white-knuckle your way out of these patterns. Lasting change takes new tools, new agreements, and a team-based approach. If ADHD is hurting your relationship, we can help you build something different. [Click here to schedule a session today] Harry Motro Clinical Director, Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center © 2025 New Path Family of Therapy Centers Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of these statements may be reproduced, redistributed, or used in any form without explicit written permission from the New Path Family of Therapy Centers. 🔦 Spotlight on Jamison Haase Specialties Neurodiverse Couples Autism, ADHD Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse) Trauma-Informed Emotional Regulation Attachment Communication Family Conflict Emotional Intimacy Life Experience Grew up in rural Minnesota in a home marked by silence, shame, and hidden struggles—later reframed by a late ADHD diagnosis that brought clarity and compassion. Spent 25 years in Hollywood as an actor and coach, learning to read subtext, hold space, and guide people to find their authentic voice. Now raising two energetic kids in a neurodiverse marriage, living the daily realities of sensory storms, parenting trials, and the resilience that comes from building systems that celebrate difference. Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT # 151355, Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452 Get Booked with Jamison! Want to learn more about yourself? Explore our sister site, Adult Autism Assessment , and take a deeper dive into your journey of self-discovery. Click the links below to get started! Autism Screeners ADHD Screeners Tests Related to Autism & ADHD General Screeners References Ek, A., & Isaksson, G. (2013). How adults with ADHD get engaged in and perform everyday activities. Scandinavian Journal of Occupational Therapy, 20 (4), 282–291. https://doi.org/10.3109/11038128.2013.799226 Ginapp, C. M., Greenberg, N. R., Macdonald-Gagnon, G., Angarita, G. A., Bold, K. W., & Potenza, M. N. (2023). The experiences of adults with ADHD in interpersonal relationships and online communities: A qualitative study. SSM – Qualitative Research in Health, 3, 100223. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssmqr.2023.100223 Knies, K., Bodalski, E. A., & Flory, K. (2021). Romantic relationships in adults with ADHD: The effect of partner attachment style on relationship quality. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 38 (1), 42–64. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407520953898 Konrad, K., & Eickhoff, S. B. (2010). Is the ADHD brain wired differently? A review on structural and functional connectivity in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Human Brain Mapping, 31 (6), 904–916. https://doi.org/10.1002/hbm.21058 Robbins, C. A. (2005). ADHD couple and family relationships: Enhancing communication and understanding through Imago Relationship Therapy. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 61 (5), 565–577. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.20120 Wymbs, B. T., Canu, W. H., Sacchetti, G. M., & Ranson, L. M. (2021). Adult ADHD and romantic relationships: What we know and what we can do to help. Journal of Marital & Family Therapy, 47 (3), 664–681. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12475 Zeides Taubin, D., & Maeir, A. (2023). “I wish it wasn’t all on me”: women’s experiences living with a partner with ADHD. Disability and Rehabilitation, 46 (14), 3017–3025. https://doi.org/10.1080/09638288.2023.2239158 Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Imagine trying to communicate your deepest desires and needs with your partner, but it feels like you're speaking different languages. That's often the reality for neurodiverse couples when it comes to intimacy and sex. Let's break the silence and dive into this crucial topic together! 🚧 8 Common Roadblocks to Neurodiverse Sex 👩❤️👨 1. Emotional vs. Physical Intimacy Neurotypical partners might crave emotional intimacy through communication about emotions and experiences. On the other hand, neurodiverse partners might seek physical intimacy to feel connected. It's like trying to take different paths to the same destination – closeness. 💬 2. Communication Communication barriers can intensify during intimate moments. Nonverbal cues like eye contact and body language often signal interest and consent, but these can be challenging for neurodiverse individuals. Recognizing these differences helps shift towards clear, direct communication, such as using "code words" for boundaries and planned breaks to process tough interactions. This approach reduces misunderstandings and ensures both partners clearly express needs and consent during intimacy. 🌐 3. Sensory Sensitivities Sensory sensitivities are a common issue in neurodiverse couples. Hypersensitivity can make physical touch overwhelming, while hyposensitivity may lead to a need for more intense sensory input. Understanding these differences is crucial. For example, one partner might need to adjust their touch to match their partner's sensory preferences. Educating couples about these variations helps them navigate and satisfy each other's sensory needs during intimate moments. 📋 4. Expectations Every person has unique expectations about what intimacy should look like, and for neurodiverse couples, these expectations might conflict. Open communication about these expectations is essential to align and find common ground, helping partners understand each other’s perspectives and needs. 📜 5. Past Experiences Past relationships significantly shape views on intimacy. Many autistic individuals have less experience with dating and sex, leading to unrealistic views of relationships or misunderstandings about roles. Addressing these past experiences in therapy helps partners understand each other's viewpoints and expectations, fostering deeper connections. 🔧 6. Executive Functioning Initiating intimacy requires planning and organizing, which can be challenging for neurodiverse individuals. Recognizing these difficulties and finding ways to support each other in initiating intimate moments can improve the relationship. 🔒 7. Rigidity Rigidity in routines or preferences can create tension in a sexual relationship. Neurodiverse individuals might have specific ways they believe intimacy should be, which can hinder the natural flow of the relationship. Couples can work together to become more adaptable to each other's needs. 🌹 8. Diverse Expressions of Intimacy Intimacy for neurodivergent individuals can differ from traditional norms. Activities like side-by-side gaming or snuggling while engaging in separate activities can be intimate for them. Recognizing and accepting these diverse expressions of intimacy is vital for some couples. 🤔 Where to Start? Couples struggling with sex often don't know where to start. In therapy, we work on the following areas: 🤝 Build a Common Understanding Understanding how neurodiversity impacts your physical intimacy is the first step. This involves psychoeducation about autism and re-contextualizing your relationship through this valuable lens. 🎯 Setting Clear Goals We help you discuss each partner's needs, desires, and quota for intimacy and sex. Together, we identify specific goals to address deficits and improve experiences. This can be incredibly hard to do and almost always needs the safe guidance from one of our counselors. 🗣️ Open Communication We facilitate conversations about why certain needs are unfulfilled and what specifics are required for improvement. This is not about compliance but rather focuses on understanding and exploration. 🧠 Perspective-Taking We consider each other's perspectives to increase relational success. Once you understand your partner's viewpoint, you can work together to strengthen intimacy and sexual connection. 👫 Sex Therapy for Neurodiverse Couples Do you feel overwhelmed reading this? Please know that is perfectly normal! Here's the good news: sex therapy with a neuro-informed therapist can help make it easier to talk about sex. We'll provide a supportive space for both partners to share in their own way and at their own pace. Imagine turning those awkward moments of miscommunication into opportunities for deeper connection, understanding and fun! Willing to try? We’re here when you’re ready. Warm regards, Harry Dr. Harry Motro , LMFT, Clinical Director Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Are You Hypersensitive to Certain Noises, Textures, etc...? Learn About Sensory Processing Disorder Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel

Our Neurodiverse Specialists are ready to help you work on your relationship. Whether one or both of you are Autistic, ADHD'er or otherwise neurodivergent, we are here to help. < Back Adela Stone Not accepting new clients See our other clinicians or Fill our our contact form to get matched Adela is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who graduated with an MA in Clinical Counseling. She also has a Master’s degree in Journalism which she received in Europe where she is from. She speaks three languages and understands the need to tailor therapy based on cultural backgrounds. Her experience as an immigrant helps Adela to empathize with her client’s life challenges, and her early parental and spousal losses enable her to connect with others in mourning. It has also boosted her resilience and given her a worldview atypical for her age. She has gone through a big marital challenge herself during her current second marriage and has undergone couples therapy. She is now a part of a blended family which enables her to understand some of the tricky dynamics of step parenting. NEURODIVERSE COUPLES: The most common complaint of a neurotypical person in partnership with a neurodiverse person is the partner's rigidity. Often, the individuals in this type of relationship suffered attachment injuries. Making Sense of Differences I can help you shed light on some of your partner's behaviors and make sense of the hurt, misunderstanding and resentment you may feel. It is normal to go through grieving: for the past of your relationship that wasn't neurotypical as well as for the future of your union that will be always be a bit different. Your brains aren't wired the same way. Neuroscience research show us that People with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) may appear stuck or have shutdowns or meltdowns because they are often in a state of overwhelm in which someone with Asperger's is scared, frustrated, or angry, as well as withdrawn. This state is often referred to as Defense Mode. Defense Mode I can help you understand the Defense Mode that a neurodivergent person often employs so that you can help yourself or your partner from shutting down so often. Perhaps you know what the signs of Defense Mode are by now. The neurodivergent partner isn't trying to be mean. In fact, they are doing the best they can with the emotional resources they have, AND they can do better: for the sake of both of you as human beings worthy of love and acceptance, and for the sake of the future of your relationship. There are ways to help yourself or your loved one come out of Defense Mode. The two fundamental ones center around decompression time and trust building which is comprised of four necessary pillars that we can work on putting together. Your partner isn't being willful. Their definition of an issue you are dealing with just isn't the same as yours. Listening to Understand Talking in order to connect is a basic human need but we need to have a common shared understanding first. The message about what this shared understanding actually is can get blurred or corrupted. If you have a common language you can define shared values and shared expectations. Remember that forcing a conversation will lead nowhere. We can work on how to ensure an important conversation does take place though. I'm sure you know listening is important but are you actually using efficient and respectful listening with your partner? If you are, both of you will experience less frustration. Listen to understand, not to form a defensive retort in your mind as they speak. Understand what it is like to be them. I get that it isn't fair to you, the neurotypical partner, it feels as though you are doing all the work. I agree, it isn't fair but you are in a partnership and are here so I assume you do want to try. I am in the business of hope and positivity and would like to offer you some. I have seen neurodiverse marriages succeed. Other areas of focus (in addition to Neurodiversity): Healthy Grieving as a Couple Couples going through life transitions Co-parenting Kink-aware couples therapy Couples with mismatched sexual desires LGBTQIA+ ally Differences in sexual taste and style Guidance through nonmonogamy/polyamory Blended families/step families Languages: Fluent in Czech, French and English Clients: Couples, Families, Young Adults Modalities: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness-based Therapy, Gestalt, Positive Psychology, Existential Therapy, Art Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy. License: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT #143787, APCC #9260 Specialty Areas: Sex/Physical Intimacy, Kink/Poly-Affirmed, Neurodiverse Couples, Cassandra Syndrome, DBT, Intimate Partner Violence, Blended Families, Emotional Intimacy, Parenting (Neurotypical & Neurodiverse), Not Accepting New Clients Adela Stone Take an Autism Test

🧠 Highly Sensitive Person (HSP): A Deeper Understanding Do you often feel overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, or strong smells? Maybe you’ve been told you’re "too sensitive" or that you need to toughen up. If this sounds familiar, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). This trait, found in 15-20% of the population, describes individuals whose nervous systems are wired to process sensory input more deeply. Being an HSP is not a disorder —you won’t find it in the DSM. However, it plays a significant role in how people experience the world. Understanding this trait can transform relationships, helping couples and individuals navigate its challenges and embrace its unique strengths. 🔍 What is HSP? Highly Sensitive People possess a blend of qualities that make their experiences in the world different, including: Depth of Processing HSPs process all types of information more deeply than others. They are more reflective, often taking longer to make decisions because of their detailed thought process. This depth of processing includes both conscious analysis of conversations and unconscious gut feelings. Overarousability HSPs notice more than others in any given situation—be it emotions, noise levels, or even subtle smells. This hyper-awareness is advantageous but can also lead to overarousal and stress, especially in overwhelming environments. Emotional Intensity HSPs feel emotions intensely, both positive and negative. This heightened emotional responsiveness makes them empathetic, as they are more attuned to others' feelings. Sensory Sensitivity HSPs are highly sensitive to subtle environmental stimuli, which can help them notice potential dangers but also makes them more vulnerable to discomfort from loud noises, bright lights, or even certain foods. Risk Evaluation HSPs are excellent strategists and tend to plan ahead, carefully evaluating risks before acting. Their sensitivity tempers impulsive behavior, making them cautious adventurers 🌱 Helping Individuals with HSP For individuals, navigating the world with heightened sensitivity can feel overwhelming, but it also comes with a range of gifts that can be harnessed with the right support. Therapy for HSPs focuses on managing the challenges while celebrating the unique strengths this trait offers. Managing Overstimulation : One of the most common difficulties HSPs face is managing sensory and emotional overload. Whether it's loud environments, chaotic workspaces, or emotionally intense situations, HSPs can easily become overwhelmed. Therapy can provide practical tools for recognizing signs of overstimulation early and implementing coping mechanisms, such as taking breaks, finding quiet spaces, or practicing mindfulness techniques. Building Boundaries : HSPs often feel others’ emotions deeply, making them prone to taking on the stress or discomfort of those around them. Learning to set emotional boundaries is essential for preserving energy and preventing burnout. Therapy can help HSPs develop the confidence to assert their needs in both personal and professional settings, allowing them to protect their well-being without feeling guilty or selfish. Reframing Sensitivity : Many HSPs have been told throughout their lives that they’re "too sensitive" or that their traits are a weakness. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy or frustration. Therapy helps individuals reframe their sensitivity as a strength, highlighting how their empathy, intuition, and emotional intelligence can positively impact their relationships, work, and personal fulfillment. Handling Negative Feedback : HSPs are particularly vulnerable to criticism, which can be felt more deeply and linger longer than for non-HSPs. Therapy can help HSPs develop healthier ways of processing feedback, turning it into constructive learning opportunities rather than internalizing it as a reflection of their worth. Embracing a Rich Inner Life : Many HSPs have a vivid imagination and a deep connection to art, nature, and beauty. Therapy can encourage HSPs to embrace these traits as sources of joy and fulfillment, helping them cultivate practices that nourish their inner world, whether through creative outlets, mindfulness practices, or spending time in environments that inspire them. By working with a therapist who understands the unique needs of HSPs, individuals can learn to thrive in a world that often feels too intense. 🧠 HSP Overlaps with Other Neurodiversities HSP traits can overlap with aspects of other neurodiverse conditions such as autism or ADHD. For example: Autism : Both HSPs and autistic individuals can experience sensory sensitivities, though for different reasons. Autistic individuals may struggle with processing sensory stimuli, while HSPs tend to process stimuli more deeply on an emotional level. ADHD : HSPs may experience a similar sense of overwhelm in busy environments as someone with ADHD, but where ADHD might be characterized by difficulty focusing, HSPs are often over-focused on emotional and sensory details. Exploring these overlaps in therapy can help neurodiverse individuals and couples find ways to better understand each other and work together. ❓ Is Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) a Disorder? Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), the trait underlying HSP, is not a disorder but rather a natural variation in how the nervous system processes sensory information. While it can coexist with conditions like autism or ADHD, it is distinct in important ways: Empathy and Social Sensitivity : SPS involves high levels of empathy and responsiveness to social stimuli, traits that are often absent in conditions like high-functioning autism. This makes SPS more about deep social and emotional engagement rather than social difficulty. Attention Span : Although HSPs may be misdiagnosed with ADHD, they tend to have good concentration in quiet, calm environments. ADHD typically presents with a more consistent challenge in maintaining attention, regardless of the setting. Despite the challenges of overstimulation and emotional intensity, SPS offers a range of advantages, including heightened intuition, creativity, and empathy. For some, however, the trait can lead to vulnerabilities, such as anxiety or depression, particularly if they feel misunderstood or isolated. Therapy can provide valuable psychoeducational support, helping HSPs navigate these challenges while embracing their sensitivity as a strength. 🧠🧠 Understand Your Sensory Sensitivity: Get Expert Guidance with Our Sensory Assessment If you’re wondering whether your sensitivity might be part of a broader sensory processing pattern, you may benefit from taking the Sensory Processing Measure, Second Edition (SPM-2) . The SPM-2 is a widely recognized tool used to assess how individuals process sensory information in various environments, such as at home, work, or in social situations. What is the SPM-2? The SPM-2 measures different aspects of sensory processing, including how people respond to visual, auditory, tactile, and other sensory stimuli. It can help identify specific areas where a person may struggle with sensory integration, such as difficulty filtering out background noise or heightened sensitivity to touch. How Does It Relate to HSP? While the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) trait is not the same as sensory processing disorder (SPD) or other sensory challenges, there are overlapping characteristics. Both HSPs and individuals with sensory processing challenges may: Experience overstimulation in busy or noisy environments Feel overwhelmed by certain textures, sounds, or bright lights Require more downtime or space after social interactions However, HSP focuses more on emotional and social sensitivity , along with a deeper level of processing information, whereas sensory processing disorders tend to be more about how the brain interprets sensory input from the environment. How Can the SPM-2 Help? For individuals who are uncertain if their experiences stem from sensory processing difficulties or their HSP trait , the SPM-2 provides valuable insight. Under the guidance of our trained clinicians, this assessment can: Clarify if sensory sensitivities are part of a more significant sensory processing challenge Identify areas where targeted support might reduce overstimulation and stress Guide therapy to address both the emotional and sensory aspects of sensitivity, creating a more holistic treatment approach Start Your HSP Healing Journey with Nancy! As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) myself, I understand the challenges this trait can cause and would love to support you on your healing journey! More About Nancy 📝 Schedule Your SPM-2 Assessment Today At the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center, our clinicians are experienced in using the SPM-2 to help individuals understand their sensory profiles. If you’re interested in exploring how sensory processing might be influencing your experience, we invite you to take this assessment as part of your therapeutic journey. Contact us to schedule an SPM-2 assessment with one of our expert clinicians and start gaining deeper insight into your sensory and emotional world. 🧸 HSP in Children vs. Adults Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) traits manifest differently in children and adults due to differences in life experience, coping mechanisms, and social environments. HSP in Children Highly sensitive children often stand out early on. They may: React Strongly to Stimuli: Loud noises, bright lights, or crowded environments can overwhelm them quickly. They may cover their ears or retreat from overstimulation. Be Emotionally Intuitive: Even as young children, HSPs are highly attuned to the emotions of those around them. They can often sense when a parent or peer is upset, even if nothing has been said. Struggle with Transitions: Shifting from one activity to another, like going from playtime to schoolwork, may be particularly hard for HSP children, who need more time to process the change. Require More Downtime: After social activities, these children may need more quiet, alone time to recharge. For children, these traits can be difficult to manage without the right support. Parents and teachers often misunderstand their behaviors as shyness or moodiness, leading to feelings of frustration or isolation. Early intervention—whether through parenting strategies, school accommodations, or child therapy—can make a significant difference in how an HSP child learns to manage their sensitivity. HSP in Adults As adults, HSPs have often developed coping strategies for navigating their sensitivity, though the challenges remain. Adult HSPs may: Have Better Emotional Regulation: Over time, many HSPs learn how to recognize their emotional triggers and manage them more effectively. They might still feel deeply, but they’ve often developed ways to avoid being overwhelmed by these feelings. Face Workplace Challenges: HSP adults might find office environments particularly draining, especially if they involve a lot of noise, social interaction, or pressure to multitask. However, their sensitivity can also make them excellent problem-solvers and creative thinkers. Maintain More Balanced Relationships: With age, adult HSPs can better communicate their needs in relationships. They are likely to seek out supportive, understanding partners who respect their sensitivity. Still Require Alone Time: Just like in childhood, HSP adults need time to recharge after social interactions or stressful environments. They may schedule alone time or quiet activities to prevent burnout. The key difference between HSPs in childhood and adulthood is the level of self-awareness. Adults are typically more equipped to recognize their own needs and assert them, whereas children rely more on parents or caregivers to create supportive environments. Therapy can help both children and adults find the best ways to thrive in their personal and social environments. 📚 5 Great Books on HSP The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron - The essential guide to understanding HSP traits and learning how to embrace them. Learn more The Highly Sensitive Person in Love by Elaine Aron - A must-read for HSPs navigating love and relationships. Learn more The Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff - Practical strategies for managing emotions and boundaries as an HSP or empath. Learn more Quiet by Susan Cain - An exploration of introverts, many of whom share HSP traits, and how to thrive in a noisy world. Learn more The Highly Sensitive Parent by Elaine Aron - For HSPs who are navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood. Learn more Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator? Hi, I'm Whitney Pressley, Client Care Coordinator. Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you. Schedule with Whitney Start Your HSP Healing Journey with Nancy! As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) myself, I understand the challenges this trait can cause and would love to support you on your healing journey! More About Nancy Use our Trait Wheels to better understand your strengths and challenges: Autism Trait Wheel ADHD Trait Wheel AuDHD Trait Wheel