Rejection Sensitivity Screener for Couples

This is a free screener for partners who want to understand how rejection sensitivity may be shaping their relationship. It takes about seven to ten minutes, it asks twenty-four questions, and you can take it on your own or sitting beside your partner. There is nothing to buy and no account to create.

What this screener measures

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, usually shortened to RSD, describes a pattern where feedback or rejection lands far harder than the person offering it intended. A small correction feels like contempt. A neutral tone reads as disappointment. A pause before an answer feels like a verdict.

In a relationship this rarely stays a private experience. One partner braces for criticism that has not arrived, and the other starts choosing their words so carefully that ordinary conversation becomes effortful. This screener looks at that loop as it happens between two people rather than inside one of them.

Who this is for

It was written for neurodiverse couples, where one or both partners are autistic or have ADHD, but nothing about it requires a diagnosis. It is worth taking if any of this sounds familiar:

Small disagreements escalate faster than the subject seems to warrant. One of you has learned to soften every request until the point disappears. One of you goes quiet for hours after a conversation the other barely registered. Repair after a conflict takes days rather than minutes. Or you both sense that something predictable is happening between you and you have not yet found language for it.

The four areas it looks at

The twenty-four questions divide evenly into four patterns. Each is scored separately, so you can see which part of the loop is doing the most work.

Bracing Early - the alarm

Scanning for rejection and bracing for it before anything has actually been said. Reading tone, timing and facial expression for evidence of a problem, and arriving at a conversation already defended.

How Feedback Lands - the input knob

The gap between what a partner said and what was received. Ordinary feedback arriving with much more force than it carried when it was spoken.

When It Floods - the output knob

How quickly emotion rises once it starts, how intense it gets, and how long it takes to settle again.

The Wall After the Fire

Pulling away, going quiet or shutting down after feeling rejected. The withdrawal that follows the flood, and how long it lasts.

How to take it

At the start you choose two things: whether you are taking it alone or together, and which partner the answers are about. That second choice matters. You can answer about yourself, or you can answer about how you see your partner, and both are useful for different reasons.

If you are sitting together, you can each take a turn and the screener will hold both sets of answers and show them side by side at the end. If you are on your own, you can still come back later and add the second perspective.

Understanding your results

Your overall score

The total runs from 24 to 120 and falls into one of three ranges. A Steady Footing, 24 to 55, means rejection sensitivity does not appear to be shaping the relationship in a significant way. Worth Talking About, 56 to 87, means the patterns show up often enough to create friction and are worth naming directly. A Lot Worth Exploring Together, 88 to 120, means rejection sensitivity is a frequent and significant source of strain, and is likely to keep costing the relationship until it is addressed.

Each of the four areas

Every area is scored from 6 to 30. Rarely is 6 to 14, Sometimes is 15 to 22, and Often is 23 to 30. The pattern across the four is usually more informative than the total. A high score on the alarm with a low score on the wall is a different relationship problem than the reverse, and the two respond to different things.

The side-by-side comparison

If both of you complete it, the results screen puts your two sets of scores next to each other, area by area. The gaps are the interesting part. Where one of you scores an area high and the other scores it low, you have usually found something that one partner has been experiencing alone.

What this screener is not

This is for reflection, not diagnosis. RSD is a popular term rather than a formal diagnosis - it does not appear in the DSM-5 and there is no accepted clinical threshold for it. Treat your results as a snapshot of how rejection sensitivity may be showing up between you, not as a label for either partner. A high score is not a verdict on anyone, and a low score does not mean a relationship is fine.

Your answers are not a substitute for an assessment by a qualified clinician, and this screener cannot tell you whether either of you is autistic or has ADHD.

What to do with your results

Most couples find the four-area breakdown more useful as a conversation starter than as a score. It gives you shared vocabulary for something that has probably been happening wordlessly for a long time.

If you want to keep going, you can browse our other free screeners and trait wheels, meet the therapists, or get started with us. If you would like to understand the language we use and why, our words matter page explains it.

About Neurodiverse Couples Counseling

We work with neurodiverse couples - relationships where one or both partners are autistic, have ADHD, or are otherwise neurodivergent. Our approach is neurodiversity-affirming: we do not treat one partner as the problem to be corrected, and we do not treat a mixed-neurotype relationship as a deficit. We work on the fit between two nervous systems that process the same moment differently.

Neurodiverse Couples Counseling is part of New Path Family of Therapy Centers, Inc.